


Reddie For You

by imnotreddie



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Adult Eddie Kaspbrak, Adult Richie Tozier, Bottom Eddie Kaspbrak, Eddie Kaspbrak Lives, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak is a Mess, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier-centric, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fix-It, Gay Richie Tozier, Gay Sex, IT Chapter Two Fix-It, M/M, Minor Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Post-IT Chapter Two (2019), Reddie, Richie Tozier Has a Big Dick, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier is a Little Shit, Service Top Richie Tozier, Sexual Repression, Slow Burn, Switch Eddie Kaspbrak, Switch Richie Tozier, Top Richie Tozier, fast burn, imnotreddie, wet dick Eddie Kaspbrak
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:02:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 180,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22260763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imnotreddie/pseuds/imnotreddie
Summary: “Seriously Richie, what did It show you?” Just hearing the name on her lips made him tremble. “I saw horrific things sweety, I think it might help to share it.” He sat up a little straighter, just shaking his head. “I wish Bevvy, but that’s not what I saw.”Richie doesn't see Eddie die in the deadlights. Instead, he sees what could have been._____________Twitter: @notreddie4this
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough/Mike Hanlon, Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 101
Kudos: 490





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first IT fic, and I needed to write it after waiting for fresh stories. I promise that I'll treat our boys better than Stephen King & Andy Muschietti, Eddie lives!!!

Richie’s ears were pounding with the loud sounds of the hospital. He doesn’t remember much of what happened since he got there, all he can really seem to recall is hands on him pulling him to lie down on a cot while his arms were prodded with IVs and other medical equipment.  _ Eddie. _ It was the only thing replaying in his mind while the doctors restrained him to examine his own injuries.  _ Where the fuck is Eddie. _

The staff assured him that they were doing everything they could to stabilize his friend, who was going to have a long day of surgery ahead of him. Richie winced with memories.  _ The clown, the deadlights, the claw. _ He tried desperately to shake the images out of his head while the nurse rambled on about his condition.  _ Eddie. Dead. _

“Mr. Tozier?” The nurse asked gently, pulling him out of his thoughts before he went too deep. He shot her a grateful smile which she nervously returned. “You are cleared to leave, Mr. Tozier.”

“Where are my friends?” His voice felt raspy, he wondered if it was the first thing he’d said after leaving the sewers. No, scratch that, he remembered yelling at the doctors to fuck off as he desperately chased after Eddie. Not surprisingly, he was not allowed in the operating room. “Your friends are all cleared as well.” She smiled, reaching over him to wipe off his forehead. “I heard about the Neibolt House collapsing. I’m surprised you all made it out.”

_ Eddie. Dead. _ “Yeah, it was a fucking picnic.” He laughed dryly, a shiver coursing through his body. The nurse led him back out to the OR’s waiting room where he was greeted with the other losers. “Richie.” Bev’s voice was a squeak as she wrapped her arms around him. The others let her have the moment before they all swarmed around them for a group hug. “This feels wrong without Eddie.” Ben said in a hushed voice. They all silently agreed. 

“You all smell like shit.” Richie mumbled, pulling snickers from the group. Bill pulled away first, looking down to take in the site of his messed up clothes. “Sounds about r-right. We should head back to the inn to s-sh-shower.”

“Amen to that.” Mike sighed, tossing an arm around Bill’s shoulder. The group decided to follow, mouths watering at the thought of a nice hot shower. Everyone but Richie. “Richie, are you coming?” Ben asked, his own arm gently encasing Beverly’s waist. He shook his head and peered down the hallway to the door that separated them from their friend. “I need to be here for Eds.” His words were blunt and unwavering. The group exchanged looks before Mike spoke up. “Eddie is going to be in surgery for a while man, I think you should come and at least-”

“I’m not fucking leaving him here alone!” Richie’s voice echoed loudly through the room, throwing his hands in the air dramatically. Everyone was quiet for a moment before he took a deep breath. “I’m sorry- that was…. I just-” He swallowed harshly, feeling his heart pound out of his chest. “He can’t be here alone you guys.”

“It’s okay Rich.” Beverly said softly, removing Ben’s arm from around her and walking closer to him. “We can bring you back some fresh clothes, just let us know if you get any news okay?” He nodded, accepting her hug again, gripping her tightly. She pulled back and rubbed his shoulder lovingly before returning to her spot next to Ben. “Bring clothes for Eddie too!” He called after them, sighing when they all nodded. He watched them push through the doors towards the elevator and disappear behind them. “Mr. Tozier?” He was almost startled by the nurse beside him, clutching at his chest.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t want to interrupt.” She said lowly. A silence passed between them and she looked around her carefully. “It isn’t really permitted, but we do have a shower station for patients if you would like to use it. I mean, you technically still are my patient.” It took him a second to process her words before he blabbered out a small “thank you” and followed her down the hall. As they walked past the staff and security he leaned over to her and ask the question that made him want to puke. “My friend, Eddie. How is he?” She inhaled deeply through her nose, face forward. “Mr. Tozier, do you-”

“Richie is fine Ms.” He corrected quickly, feeling awkward with the name.

“Richie.” She exhaled. “Do you understand that anything that I tell you is subject to change and not officially approved by the operating medical staff?” He blinked a few times before scrunching his face. “Uh… sure?”

She shook her head and turned to face him. “Good news or bad news first?” She said lowly. Richie felt like he was definitely going to throw up. She must’ve seen it coming because she backed up a little. “Mr. Toz-  _ Richie _ . Relax.” He nodded, taking a couple of deep breaths that did him no justice. “Your friend is stable at the moment, however, his injuries are very severe and it is still touch and go. It’s a miracle he made it out of the house alive.” He stood frozen to process her words, not having much to say. “Okay well, that’s not the worst news right?”

She smiled, continuing their journey to the shower. “Your friend is a fighter. I have faith that he’ll make it out of surgery but he still has a long road to recovery.” Richie was never super religious but he just fought a demon clown, so, who was he to decide if God was real or not. “Yeah, me too. Thank you. For everything.” 

She left him a plain white t-shirt and some random scrubs that she could find for him to wear as pants in the meantime before leaving him to shower. He removed his cracked glasses, still caked in filth, shuddering harshly as he stepped under the hot water, watching the dirt, shit, and god knows what else swirl down the drain. It was almost amusing to see how much filth was on him before he started to see blood running off of him too. He shut his eyes to avoid looking at it, but it was too late for him to stop thinking about it.

It was almost impossible to get Eddie out of there with him. Richie stopped feeling emotion after Eddie was impaled above, the only word he was able to manage was a meek “Eddie” before he was tossed away from him. He felt numb holding his jacket again the hole in his chest, and even during Pennywise’s final moments.  _ That bitch _ . Running back to his Eds, he still felt numb. “Eds we did it, c’mon.” He said lowly, starting to feel again when he put his hand up to Eddie’s face. The bubbly feeling inside quickly disappeared when Eddie didn’t move. He slapped his hand against his injured cheek harder, hoping he would lash out and tell Richie to fuck off. The numbness came back as he processed what was happening until Bev’s voice spoke from behind him. “Richie. Honey, I think he’s gone.” 

He rubbed Eddie’s cheek some more before turning to her. “No, no guys he’s okay. We need to get him help, it’s okay.” Now he felt desperate, tugging on his friend in hopes he’d wake up. “C’mon Eds, get the fuck up.” He hissed through clenched teeth. Richie leaned in close, resting his head against Eddie’s shoulder, his hand snaking to his neck. He wasn’t sure if it was his imagination or the blood pumping vigorously through his own body, but he felt something.  _ A pulse. _

“Guys, he's alive I’m telling you I feel something!” Now he felt hope. He turned back only to be met with uncertain stares. They all wavered a bit as the ground trembled beneath them and debris fell from above. “Richie we g-g-gotta get out of here.” Bill back up and looked above them. Richie gripped Eddie firmly. “Fuck- yeah okay. Someone help me grab him, he can’t lose any more blood.” His words were loud and clear, but nobody moved. 

“Richie, we need to leave! N-now.” Bill said again. Richie just stared at him, finally gathering what he was implying. Now he felt angry, betrayed. “Yeah, we are leaving  _ with _ Eddie.” He whipped back around to clutch Eddie firmly, but was stopped by multiple pairs of hands. 

“Richie man, we gotta go!” Ben yelled over the rumbling, interrupted by Beverly’s squeak as a large piece of the cave felt beside the group. “Not without Eddie!” Richie yelled back, batting their hands away. “R-Rich, leave him!” Bill shouted, tugging his shirt. Now that was just not happening. Leave Eddie? Leave him after Richie had gotten him back after all this time? After falling for him all over again?

“Fuck off!” Richie yelled, shoving Bill away. “I’m not leaving him down here are you fucking nuts!?” He was hysterical now, his vision becoming blurry and frantic. Beverly carefully bent down to his level. “Richie we need to go-”

“So go!” He screamed, making her jump. “Fucking leave me down here too!” They all protested before he scoffed. “I’d rather die than leave him here alone so just go.” They all looked between each other with fear. “Can we get him back the way we came Mike?” Ben asked. Mike shook his head. “Not likely, but that way it should empty out into the sewers.” He looked like he was contemplating before pushing the others towards the hatch. “Go, the way we came will be faster. I’ll help Richie bring Eddie out that way, you guys meet us at the barrens.”

“Mike are you c-crazy?” Bill shouted. “What if you’re wrong-”

“Richie is already ready to die!” Mike yelled over him. “And it’s my fault that you’re all here so let me just do this alright! Everyone go NOW!” Ben and Beverly just gave him a tearful goodbye before running, but Bill hesitated. “You guys, this is not g-going to end w-well.”

“Would you do it for Georgie?” Richie spat, still cradling Eddie’s body as the ground shook beneath them. Bill looked between him and Mike briefly before gritting his teeth and running away as well. “Rich, get up we need to work fast.” Richie did as he was told, lifting Eddie with him and hurrying along with Mike. “This way!”

As Richie opened his eyes, he was met with the clear water of the shower. The pruning on his hands told him he was in there for longer than he intended. His hands were trembling like they did when they finally reached the opening of the sewer after what felt like trudging through water for forever. They flushed out with debris and whatever else had built up over the years. He took Eddie to land and Mike immediately called for an ambulance. 

Richie started to lose hope that Eddie would make it, whatever pulse he felt before was gone and it had been too long. He was too late, and even as the paramedics lifted Eddie into the ambulance and found another pulse, Riche had little faith.  _ I have faith that he’ll make it out of surgery but he still has a long road to recovery.  _ “C’mon Eds.” He begged to himself, feeling his tears mix with the shower. Despite his grossly pruny fingers, he stood and sobbed for a bit.

When he waltzed his way back to the waiting room, Beverly was the only one there. “Hey.” She offered softly. He smiled at her, taking the seat beside her. “How was your shower?” He asked, taking the small pile of clothes that she held out. “It was glorious.” She laughed. “It took a while to get all of the blood and shit out of my hair but other than that it was nice and steamy.”

“Steamy huh? Wow, I wish you invited me to join.” He wiggled his eyebrows at her, earning him an elbow to his side. “Ouch Bevvy, still sore from being dropped by a fucking clown.” They fell into a comfortable silence before she finally asked. “Any news on Eddie?”

He shrugged, fiddling with the clothes in his hand. “Last I was told, he was stable. But she said that even if he makes it through the surgery, recovery will take a while. I mean yeah, no shit, he got fucking impaled through the chest.”

“I know.” She said in a gentle voice. “We told the staff that a piece of debris got him while we were running out. Anything else?” He shook his head, rubbing his forehead. “Rich?” She asked carefully, turning to him. He hummed, turning to face her too. “What did you see in the deadlights?” 

He sputtered into a coughing fit as memories flashed in front of him. She quickly offered him a bottle of water, rubbing soothing circles on his thigh as he downed it. “Jesus Bev, give a guy a warning before you take his breath away!”

“Seriously Richie, what did It show you?” Just hearing the name on her lips made him tremble. “I saw horrific things sweety, I think it might help to share it.” He sat up a little straighter, just shaking his head. “I wish Bevvy, but that’s not what I saw.” She looked at him confused and he chuckled dryly. 

“I saw us. Me and Eddie.”

Time seemed to stand still for a moment before he continued. “We were happy, laughing and joking around-”  _ and kissing _ . “Then when I came out of it, It- right in front of me-” His throat began to close and he refused to meet her eye now. “I love him Bev.”

She continued to rub soothing circles on his leg. “I know.” He huffed, shaking his head again. “No, I like  _ love _ him.” She laughed and nodded. “Yes, I  _ know _ .”

_ Now or never. _ “Like in a really non-heterosexual way.” 

Her face broke out into the widest grin he’d ever seen on her. “Richie, sweetheart.” She turned into him even more and gripped his hands. “I love you, your sexuality doesn’t change anything.” She assured him. He let go of the breath he didn’t know he had been holding and finally raised his eyes to meet hers. “Yeah?”

“Of course.” She nodded, brushing hair off of his forehead. “No one is going to have a problem with that.” He knew that she was referring to the losers but he still snorted. “Really? You don’t think Sonia Kaspbrak would be heartbroken that I led her on all those times?” Bev rewarded him with another jab to his side, making him groan. “I know this is your dumb way of coping, but I really do love you, and so does everyone else. Eddie especially.”

He just nodded, pulling away a hand to adjust the glasses on his face. “I haven’t told anyone else. I don’t think I’m ready for that right now. And I’d hate to steal Eddie’s spotlight.” Bev laughed and let go of his other hand. “Wait till you’re ready. But thank you for trusting me.” They sat like that for a while before she stood up. “The boys and I are going to get some rest and come back bright and early tomorrow. Eddie is going to be in surgery till really late anyway.” She explained.

Richie just nodded, understanding. “I’ll see you then, I’m staying.”

“I know.” She said again, pulling him up for a hug. “Let me know if anything happens. I love you.” He snorted into her hair. “So you keep telling me. I’m starting to think you’re jealous that I’m a big fat homo-”

“Beep beep Richie.” She giggled, giving him one last squeeze before pulling away. He stopped her though, pursing his lips together. “Bev I’m sorry for yelling at you back there. Everything was just happening at once. I know we needed to get out but I couldn’t-”

She held her hand up to stop him. “No, I’m so sorry that any of this happened. You don’t deserve this, and Eddie sure as hell didn’t deserve it. If-  _ when _ he wakes up I will feel so guilty for being ready to leave without him. Trust me, I’m punishing myself for it, but don’t you dare for a second punish yourself.” She cupped his cheek momentarily. “Alright?”   
  


“Yes mom.” He smiled lightly, letting her go. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Eat something and get some rest!” She called over her shoulder. 

“Jesus… when I called you mom it wasn’t an invitation!” All he got in response was a middle finger thrown in the air, making him laugh. He walked over to the nurses’ station before sitting back down and waited for the lady to look up at him. “Can I help you, sir?”   
  


“Uh, yeah.” He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “I just want to know when Eddie Kaspbrak is scheduled to come out of surgery? We were admitted a few hours ago.”   
  


“I’ll check, just give me a moment.” She scooted over to the computer and after a minute of typing, she read off of the screen. “Well it looks like the operation is going according to plan, no hiccups, so I’d say several more hours.”

“Several?” Richie laughed nervously. The nurse nodded. “He needed time to get closed up and bandaged, then he can be moved to a care unit where he will be monitored.”

“Will he be allowed, visitors?” He asked almost immediately. She nodded, pointing to a sign on the wall. “Visiting hours for guests are 10am-3pm and 5m-10pm. Family members are allowed to stay full time and are accommodated.”

“And what counts as a family member?”

She smirked at him. “Spouses-”   
  


“We are married, wedding was beautiful. You should’ve been there.” He nodded, giving her a thumbs up. “So when can I-”

“You’re Richie Tozier right? The comedian?” She laughed when he nodded hesitantly. “Listen, I’m sorry. I think you’re funny and everything but I’ve seen your sketches about your girlfriends. I can’t break hospital regulations, plus, his wife is listed on the insurance.” 

“You got me!” He shrugged, ignoring the bitter taste in his mouth when reminded that Eddie had a fucking  _ wife _ . “He’s my brother, just oddly close ya know? Brother’s count as family right?”

“Mr. Tozier.” She giggled, looking around to make sure that they weren’t disturbing anyone. “If you’ll sit down, I will be sure to get you updates on Mr. Kaspbrak as quickly as possible.” Richie sighed, shoulders lowering in defeat. “Thanks.” He found himself back in his seat, shifting uncomfortably every once in a while. Bev, being the actual angel she is, brought Richie his phone charger with the clothes so he wasn’t completely bored out of his mind. He ignored whatever missed calls and texts he had and played what felt like 7 hours worth of candy crush. 

He knew one thing for certain, he sure as hell wasn’t going to be getting sleep any time soon. Every time he shut his eyes he either saw what could’ve been in the deadlights or Eddie nearly dying in his arms. 

Time seemed to go by quickly but too slow for Richie’s liking. Every once in a while he would walk back up to the nurse to request some water or triple check if she was sure there were no updates. Everyone in the room was surely aware that he was getting antsy, his legs vibrating up and down in his seat. To everyone’s enjoyment, the first nurse that attended to Richie stood in front of him. His heart stopped but she was quick to assure him that Eddie had made it out of surgery, and was now in recovery. “Can I see him?” were, of course, the first words out of his mouth in record speed.

“I’m sorry, but he is still fresh out of surgery and needs to be closely monitored before he is moved to another room.” She shot him an apologetic look. “Only hospital staff are allowed with him at the moment, but I can show you to another private room.” Richie nodded, following her once again. “Hey, I never got your name.”

“Ana.” She smiled. They walked towards the guest rooms but she abruptly changed direction before they got to them. “Follow me.” She said in a hushed voice, so Richie quietly followed her. He was confused when they stopped in the hallway and she looked around for anyone else. “Wait here.” He stood, still confused as she disappeared behind a door. He jumped a little when the blinds of the window in front of him rustled and opened slightly. Ana returned from the room and motioned him closer to the window.

Richie peered inside to where she was pointing, and immediately he felt his head pounding and his face wet with tears. Eddie was propped up in the hospital bed with various tubes prodding him and an oxygen mask covering his drained face. The old patch on his face was replaced with a fresh one and his torso was completely shielded by bandages and he looked so...broken.

Richie barely heard the nurse speaking until she grabbed his hand. He finally ripped his eyes away from Eddie and focused on her. “He’s going to be okay.” She said, sounding like a promise. “His vitals are good, he will be very weak and out of it when he comes to, but I promise you’ll be the first person we notify.” She turned quickly after hearing a noise at the end of the hall, and she hurriedly pulled him toward the rooms they were supposed to be in. “A few more hours Mr. Tozier-  _ Richie _ . I will send someone to grab you when all of his tests are done and he is moved to a visitor’s room. In the meantime, get some rest and feel free to bother the staff for anything.”

“Thank you, Ana.” He said, genuinely, not able to joke around after seeing his Eddie in that condition. She nodded and closed the door behind her, leaving him alone in the small room with a cot and small dresser. He dumped his pile of belongings onto it and sat down, burying his face in his hands. Eddie made it out of surgery, and he was _ alive _ . Richie knew he couldn’t sleep or eat until he could see Eddie in front of him, but knowing he was alive was all he needed to smile. He smiled so wide, so happy that he was going to see Eddie again, regardless of what shape he was in. He texted the other losers and quickly received several relieved texts. Overwhelmed, Richie sobbed quietly again that night.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie stays back in the hospital, gradually losing it from being alone and unsure of Eddie's status.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please enjoy, I'm trying to update as much and as quickly as possible :) Also please excuse any mistakes, I fix them as I go!

Richie was wrong. He actually managed to cry himself to sleep which surprised even him. Not that it was a long sleep or even an ounce pleasant. He basically relived the events of the cave, and part of him was aware it was a dream; silently praying that he would wake up. 

His prayers were answered with a knock on the door. He jolted awake, shaking the automatic fear that rose from within him.  _ Pennywise is dead _ he reminded himself. 

“Come in.” His voice was low and rough. A nurse that he hadn’t seen before peered around the door frame and scanned his rigid body. “Just came to check in on you Mr. Tozier, do you need anything?” The voice was a man this time, tall with large hands that gripped the door as he eyed Richie up and down with concerned eyes. 

“Eddie.” He said dryly. “Where is Eddie?”

“Your friend is still in stable condition. He probably still won’t be moved for a few more hours, his surgery was pretty intense and the doctors are just making extra sure that he will be comfortable when he wakes up.”

_ When _ he wakes up. Richie smiled for the first time in a while. “Okay, thanks. Please let me know if anything happens.” The man nodded, smiling back. “Of course, we’ve been told to report back to you right away with any updates. Ana threatened our entire shift.”

“She’s a cutie.” Richie laughed, rubbing his face over. “Let her know I’m thinking about her.” He laughed at the man’s eye roll. “Don’t get too jealous! If it makes you feel better, you’re pretty cute too I guess.” He added with a wiggle of his eyebrows. 

“She did say you were a comedian.” The man laughed. “If you need anything, just holler. Name’s Alex.” They both exchanged a handshake, but before he could leave, Richie stopped him nervously. “Hey Alex? Can I actually just get some water?” His voice was dry and was beginning to hurt from the past day of screaming and crying, not that he needed to explain that to the man nodding in front of him. 

“Sure thing, I’ll have some sent back here.” Richie thanked him and was left to himself again. He sighed, pulling out his phone and opening messages. 

Richie: Eds is still stable but he won’t be moved for a few more hours.

Almost immediately, texts from the others started flowing in. It meant that no one else was able to sleep much either, which sucked, but it made him feel better to know that he wasn’t alone. 

Bevvy: Great news! We will all be there for when he’s transferred

Benjamin: Awesome, knew he’d be okay

Mikey: That’s our Eddie!

Big Bill: So good to hear. How are you holding up Rich?

Richie stared at his phone for a while, happy to be able to share updates with his friends. But he was also more upset about being in the hospital alone than he would’ve thought. So for one of the few times in his life, he was honest with himself. 

Richie: As good as I can be Big Bill. If I’m being honest it’s getting kind of lonely, but the nurses are very nice

Bevvy: Make sure you are eating and resting, I swear to God I will force feed you Tozier don’t make me!

Richie: Kinky Bev, tell me more >:)

Benjamin: Beep Beep Rich

Richie: Oh cmon you didn’t even let me get far enough!

Mikey: We’ve learned not to let you get that far.

Bevvy: Seriously Richard, make sure you are taking care of yourself

Big Bill: Uh oh, you just got Richard-ed

Richie: I’d prefer to be called Dick, but she’s probably occupied with Benny’s at the moment

Benjamin: Jesus, once again Beep Beep

Bevvy: The Trashmouth is back *eye roll*

Another knock on the door scared the shit out of him before he realized that it was probably just the water he requested. This time, he actually got up to answer and was greeted with the nurse from the front desk smiling up at him. “Hey there, I heard you were in need of some water.” There were a few bottles held tightly in his hands, which he graciously accepted. “I also thought that I should tell you we have an official time for your friend’s transfer, nine o’clock. I know I said that visiting hours started at ten but since you are his _ brother _ -” she paused with a wink. “I think we can make an exception to-”

Richie dropped every bottle of water and pulled her in for a hug, probably startling her but he didn’t care. He felt fresh tears running down his face and she relaxed into his hug. Before he could make her uncomfortable he pulled back and quickly wiped his eyes. “Sorry I just- when did Derry get nice people shipped in?”

She laughed, pulling a small package of tissues out of her pocket and offering them to him. “You’d be surprised. It’s a different world out there Mr. Tozier.” He wasn’t sure if her words had a hidden meaning; if she’d heard his confession to Beverly or if she could see right through him, but he just nodded. “Only a few more hours, then I’ll come and get you alright?”

For what seemed like the hundredth time, Richie was left alone with his thoughts. He squinted at the clock which read 5:53. He groaned, flopped back down onto the flimsy cot, nearly causing it to collapse. “Eds, you little bastard.” He whispered to himself, opening up the tissues and wiping away the tears that threatened to fall down his face. He closed them, images of the deadlights flashing in front of them. 

Eddie and Richie. On the couch, laughing. “That’s fucking stupid Richie.” Eddie shook his head.

“What?” Richie responded in a horrible accent, cackling when Eddie cringed. “You don’t like my Madagascarian accent? Well, I am greatly offended! I didn’t peg you for a racist Edward.”

“What the fuck is a Madagascarian? Is that actually what they call people from Madagascar- you know what, I don’t even know why I’m asking you! At this point, I’m just encouraging you to keep acting like an idiot.”

Richie watched him complain in awe, surely looking like a fool in love. “Yeah, but I’m  _ your  _ idiot.” He grabbed the smaller man’s hand in a dramatic display of affection and planted a light kiss on it.

“How unfortunate for me.” Eddie scoffed, ripping his hand away with a blush creeping onto his handsome face. “And don’t kiss my hand after you called me a racist, gross! You’re more racist than me, have you seen your stand up!? And Jesus Christ, never call me Edward in that voice again-”

And then they were kissing. Images of Eddie straddling him and the softness of his lips against Richie’s. “Don’t call me Jesus Christ ever again.” Richie mumbled, pulling strangled laughter from above him. “You’re not funny Rich.”

Richie shot back up on the cot, ashamed of his visions. “Get your shit together.” He hissed at himself. He couldn’t be alone in that small dark room anymore, so he grabbed a bottle of water and headed back to the waiting area.

“Mr. Tozier? Is everything alright?” The nurse who brought him the water was back at the desk, looking concerned for a moment. He nodded, sitting in the chair closest to her. 

“I’m fine thanks, I just got lonely ya know.” He placed the water bottle down and stretched his legs out. “Hoping a pretty girl could keep me company.” She laughed, shaking her head. “Honey keep looking. Unless fifty-four, black and overweight is your type.”

He gasped, placing a hand over his heart. “How did you know!?”

She laughed hard at that, covering her mouth quickly and looking apologetically at the other people moving through the room and hallway. “I didn’t get your name gorgeous.” He tried, contorting his body into a position to mimic a “sexy” one. 

“Teegan.” She answered when she gained control of her breath. “You know Mr. Tozier, I thought you weren’t my type but I’ll have to check out your comedy when I get home. There’s been talk about you here.”

“Richie’s fine darling.” He said with a drawl, winking. “If I’m not fired when I get back to LA I’ll be happy to mail you some free show tickets.”

“How kind of you Richie. Let me see how much I enjoy your stuff before you do.”

A comfortable silence passed between them, only filled by beeps and the occasional quiet shuffling of feet. She turned her attention to the computer, typing a few things in before organizing a stack of paperwork. He knew he was losing her attention, and Richie Tozier is always a whore for attention. “So.” He propped one elbow onto her desk, catching her gaze. “You come here often?”

Her body shook as she stifled a laugh. “Every day and night, yes. What’s your story? What brings a big star like yourself to Derry?”

“Big star? Pshh.” He waved the thought away. “I was back in town to meet up with some friends. We all grew up here, in Derry together.” She didn’t say anything so he continued. “Yeah it was a rougher time but it seems like things have changed quite a bit since we left.”

“Oh honey you don’t even know the half of it.” She nodded. “I don’t know if you saw, but there are a ton of new restaurants and stores. The town is completely different, they even tore down some houses to build up these big fancy looking ones.”

“Sorry that was just me, thought me and you would need a big house for our future kids.” He smiled at her laughter.  _ This is definitely better than being in that fucking room alone. _

“Speaking of, why in the world were you and your friends at that Neibolt house?”

Richie’s smile faltered a bit but he recovered quickly.  _ Oh well there’s this demon clown named Pennywise that we killed before we even hit puberty but then he came back twenty seven years later and tried to kill us. We killed him again but he impaled Eddie with a fucking claw so here we are. _ “We used to hang there as kids. It was just as dangerous probably back then, but it was just really bad timing to go back I guess. Eddie he- there was a beam or something that got him-” He felt his throat go dry but thankfully she took over. 

“Bad timing indeed, I’m surprised it lasted this long. Your friend is very lucky to have you, we were told you were the one who dragged him out. Any later and he probably wouldn’t have made it.” Alright, maybe it was a bad time to bring this up.

So Richie just nodded and attempted to change the subject. “Yeah, Eds is a fighter, always has been. God Tee you should’ve seen him. He was still a shorty, even shorter than now if you can imagine. And this kid, oh my god, used to wear a fucking fanny pack.  _ In public _ . But yeah, he was a total nutcase about germs too, he probably still is. Just wait for when he wakes up, you’ll hear his big mouth yapping about syphilis or some dumb shit.”

He didn’t realize how emotional he was getting until she slid over a box of tissues and smiled softly at him. “He sounds like a great time.”

“Oh the greatest.” He agreed, wiping his eyes before tears could come out. “He’s such an annoying little shit but he’s the best person on the planet, I’m telling you.”

“He’ll be awake before you know it.” She reminded him, making his stomach flip. “How long have you two been friends?”

“God I don’t even know. We met when we were super little and just became best friends instantly, like BEST best friends. We did everything together but when we left for college we kind of fell out of touch. He went to New York and I was in LA so we just kind of-”  _ forgot _ . It made Richie feel sick. It made him hate himself that he could ever forget Eddie Kaspbrak. “But we got a call from a mutual friend and now we are back! A little reunion thing ya know?”   
  


“Cute.” She snickered. “I’m glad you guys were able to reconnect. Not many people come back to Derry after they leave.”

_ I’m certainly never fucking coming back here. _ “Call it fate.” He managed a smile. She shrugged picking back up some paperwork. “What’s next?” She asked. “Planning to go back to LA after this?”

“Uh, not sure.” He cleared his throat. “I kind of came back here on short notice so my manager is probably pissed. I wouldn’t know because I’ve been ignoring his calls. I guess I’ll stay here to look out for Eddie until he’s ready to go.”

“That will at least be for a week or two, depending on how well he recovers in that time. He has to meet certain criteria before he can be released.” She explained. “But you’re a good friend Richie. We tried to call his wife but there was no answer. The number listed on the insurance must be incorrect or outdated.”

Richie’s mouth dried up so fast and he fumbled with the water bottle before downing half of it. “Probably just outdated, Eddie is all about being correct. Did you find his phone on him?”

“No, we were hoping one of you had her number but it sounds like you do not.”

_ Good, fuck Myra. _ “I know, unfortunately, we did not exchange our wives numbers during our reunion.”

She sighed, shaking her head. “Poor woman. Must be really worried.” He didn’t even have the words to respond to that. If Eddie was right and she really was just like his mom, worried didn’t even begin to cover it. “I’ll be back shortly, I have to go to the floor below us to help some staff. Find Alex or anyone else if you need anything.”

“Sure thing babe.” He winked as she passed him, disappearing around the corner.  _ Alone again Rich. Alone, just like you’ll be when Myra steals Eddie away and you go back to LA. Alone. _ He gritted his teeth and shook the thoughts from his head, wiping his eyes again. “Stop it Rich.” He mumbled to himself. “Be strong for Eds.”

If time was going by fast before, time was at a standstill now. Each passing hour felt like ten, and it didn’t help that he was doing nothing but staring down the clock and watching each second tick by. But by the grace of God, or whoever, the clock finally hit nine and he felt himself stop breathing. After all this time of waiting, he didn’t know what to do with himself. He spotted Teegan walking back down the hall and he stopped her. “It’s nine.” He blurted, pointing to the clock.

She was clearly caught off guard by his arms grabbing her but then she understood what he was talking about. “Wait here alright? I’ll find out what’s going on.” She rubbed a few comforting stripes along his arm before leaving again, turning around the corner to Eddie’s room. His legs twitched with nerves and anticipation, feeling his body fill will adrenaline. Thankfully it didn’t take her long to find him again. “Come with me.”

He didn’t need to be told twice. Hell, he didn’t even need to hear her finish the sentence before he was practically running after her. She was talking about something while they walked but Richie couldn’t hear any of it. All he could hear was the blood thumping about in his head, making him shake and sweat slightly. As much as he was dying to see Eddie, he didn’t know if he could handle seeing him in that condition again. But before he knew it, he was looking at him through the open door, the only thing standing in between them was the doctor. 

Eddie didn’t look as bad as he did before. His skin had more color to it, which Richie knew was a good thing, and the only thing left prodding him was an IV. He was still wearing an oxygen mask, but he actually looked peaceful for once. His forehead wasn’t forming a line and his face wasn’t scrunch in anger or annoyance. Despite the gauze covering his cheek and chest, he looked perfect. More importantly, he looked  _ alive _ . 

“Mr. Tozier.”

Richie looked to the doctor standing in front of him. “Hm? Sorry.”

He shook his head and turned back to a page on his clipboard. “You’re here for Edward Kaspbrak yes?” Richie nodded. “Your friend here sustained severe trauma to the chest, but he went through surgery very well and is in stable condition. Luckily, no organs were destroyed in the accident, so we did not need to transplant anything extra. He is expected to make a full recovery.”

“That’s a relief.” Richie finally breathed, clutching at his heart which was beating out of his chest. The doctor nodded, scanning over whatever was on his clipboard. “He will be waking up within the next few hours. He will be on morphine to help him deal with pain, but will be weaned off of it throughout the coming week, as I’m sure you’ve heard it is addicting.”

He just nodded again. “Nurse Alex will be in shortly to tell you about how his recovery process will go and how to appropriately dress a healing wound. If while you are with Mr. Kaspbrak you see anything that looks wrong, ring for me immediately.”

“Roger that!” Richie offered a salute. The doctor remained stoic and passed by him, removing the barrier between him and his Eds. “What crawled up his ass?” He snorted, turning to Teegan. 

“He’s just like that, ignore him.” She chuckled. “But do call him if you need him. Alex should be here in a bit, but in the meantime, I’ll give you some privacy.” She went to close the door behind him but he stopped it. 

“Thanks for everything Tee, seriously.” 

She smiled at him. “It was no issue at all Richie.” They stood there, just smiling, and for the first time in a while Richie felt genuinely happy. “How bout another hug sweet cheeks?” He cracked, opening up his arms and puckering his lips. She rolled her eyes at his terrible accent but accepted, giving him a bone crushing hug. “Still feel free to call if you need anything.”

With a click of the door, it was just him and Eddie. He took a few deep breaths before turning to the hospital bed and carefully walking to the chair beside it. “Oh Eds.” His voice was low and shaky, almost like he was scared to wake him. He sat quietly too and looked him over again. His brown hair was a mess, unlike his normal styled locks. Despite this, his skin was perfectly clean, which Richie knew he’d be thrilled about. He let his eyes wander down his face until they fell at his chest, still wrapped tightly in bandages starting below his armpits. He kept his eyes on him as he fumbled with his phone. 

Richie: Eds has been transferred, still stable

Mikey: Thank God, we will head their soon. 

Bevvy: Can’t wait to see our little guy

Bevvy: Do not tell him I called him that

Bevvy: Shit is he on this text?

Big Bill: We will be there soon Rich

Benjamin: I’m so telling him later but yeah see you soon man

Richie contemplated what to do with himself until then, all he’d been doing since he walked into the room was stare at Eddie. He finally said  _ fuck it _ and reached for his hand, gripping it firmly but still as gentle as possible. 

He held it for a while, working up the courage to message the back of his hand with his thumb in small circles. Every time he looked him over, Richie’s heart broke. He was never one to take it easy on Eddie as kids, which he knew he appreciated. He didn’t need his friends going easy on him with a mother like Sonia, but here Richie was holding him like he was going to break. “Damn, I’m sorry Eds.” He said mostly to himself, but he smiled as he gave his hand a light squeeze. 

He jumped lightly at a small knock on the door and carefully laid Eddie’s hand back to the bed beside him. “Ana darling!” He drawled in the same awful accent that he gave Teegan. She let out a hushed laugh as she entered, almost like she was also afraid of waking Eddie.

“Hello, my good sir.” She tried her own version of a British accent, failing horribly, but it only made it funnier to Richie. “I came to loosen some of Mr. Kaspbrak’s bandages. They shouldn’t be too tight when he wakes up.”

“Should I uh-”

“Only for a moment.” She smiled. “Then you can come right back in, it just might be a little gruesome from surgery.”

“Well in that case I’ll leave you to that shit.” He faked a gag as he stood up. “Do take good care of my boy for me madam.” He returned her terrible British accent before leaving. He walked back towards Teegan’s desk only to find that she wasn’t there. Instead, Alex was sitting there flipping through various piles of paper. “Hey man!” His face brightened when he saw Richie. “I just saw Ana walk your way.”

“Yeah she’s changing bandages, no way I was gonna stay for that.”

“Pretty gross huh?”

“Gross? I was thinking it’s wayyy too intimate, my virgin eyes can’t handle that.”

Alex choked on his laughter, fanning himself off. “Did you just admit to being a virgin? In public? To a stranger?”

“Born again virgin.” He corrected. “And that’s my job man. Getting way too personal with a bunch of strangers.”

“I guess!” Alex laughed again, quickly turning his attention to the beeping monitor next to him. “Oh shit hold on, a room needs assistance. 312…” He hummed to himself. Richie felt his blood run cold. 312.  _ Eddie’s room _ . He ran after Alex, almost shoving him out of the way to get to the room. Every bad thought filled his head, and he hated that he was already preparing for the worst case scenario.

But when he got there Alex, who was smiling, entered the room calmly and started talking. Richie was too worked up to hear what he was saying but he started to piece together what was happening when he looked at Eddie, who was sitting somewhat crooked and  _ awake _ .

“Good thing I came to loosen the bandages when I did huh?” Ana smiled at Alex, patting Eddie’s chest lightly. They all turned to face Richie, who was awkwardly standing in the doorway, unsure of what to do with himself. 

“Oops, sorry wrong room.” Is all he could come up with. “I’m looking for Edward Kaspbrak, not a zombie.” Ana just sighed and shook her head while Alex chuckled. Eddie rolled his eyes but Richie could see a small smirk hidden behind the oxygen mask. 

“Need help with anything?” Alex asked, walking over to the side of the bed. Ana pointed towards the back of the bed as she removed the oxygen mask from Eddie’sface. “I just need to lay him back against there and adjust his bed so he isn’t sitting straight up like this. Richie get over here too.”   
  


He did what he was told and found himself standing next to Alex, near Eddie’s feet. “Hold him here Alex. Okay Eddie, we are going to adjust the bed and lay you back down alright?” Ana explained to him. Eddie gave her a weak nod and she held the button that adjusted the bed.

His eyes screwed shut, gripping the bed tightly and Richie moved to Alex’s other side to hold his shoulder’s steady. “You’re hurting him.” He told Ana somewhat frantically, but Eddie’s hand gripped his arm. “Just let her finish, dick.”

The words sounded gruff and not like Eddie at all, but he listened regardless. It wasn’t long before he was finally comfortable with his back against the bed, his arm still tightened around Richie’s. “We will give you two a minute before we bring in some water and blankets for you Mr. Kaspbrak. Try not to talk too much before we do, your throat is probably very raw from the oxygen.”

“I’ll try.” Eddie mumbled, already not listening.  _ Stubborn fuck _ . 

“Yeah all he does is talk.” Richie poked at his healed cheek. “This mouth isn’t big for nothing.”

“Shut the fuck up.” Eddie retorted, trying to move his face away. “You talk way more than me.”

Richie laughed when the two nurses fled the room, not wanting to hear any more bickering. “Yeah but you love it.” A silence passed between them before Eddie’s hand, still wrapped around Richie’s arm, squeezed him and smirked again. “Maybe a little.”

“Awe Eds, did you miss my voice?”

“I miss it less the more you keep talking.”

Richie smiled down at him, deciding to take a seat again to get more on his level. “God I’m so glad you’re back Eds. It was hell not having you awake to insult me.”

“Oh I’m sure you’ll hear a lot more of it. I’m glad the nurses haven’t killed you yet, are they actually able to deal with your dumbass?”

“Insult me more baby, it’s such a turn on.”

“Gross.” He scoffs. “You need to stop with the nicknames.”

“It’s either baby or Eds, pick one.” Richie held a hand out as if weighing the options.

“Neither.”

“Eddie Spaghetti?”

Eddie couldn’t help but laugh at that one. “Jesus that one is so much worse, fuck- don’t make me laugh it hurts. Not that you’re actually funny, I’m laughing at how stupid-”

“Eddie I’m sorry.” Richie cut him off, taking the injured man aback. 

“For what?”

“Everything!” Richie blurted, sliding Eddie’s hand back into his. “I laid there frozen like a fucking idiot after I fell, I should’ve gotten you out of the way, I could of-”

“Rich, stop.” Eddie gripped his hand fiercely. “Don’t blame yourself okay, you couldn’t have known. I’m good now- well not good but... I’m alive right?”

Richie laughed through his pain.  _ If you weren’t I don’t know what I’d do. _ “Yeah buddy, you look pretty alive to me.” They just sat there, two grown men holding hands, just smiling at each other like a couple of dorks. “Richie I-”

“EDDIE!” Beverly shrieked, tears already strolling down her face as she entered the room. Richie let go of Eddie’s hand and stood up so she could get to him. “Hey Bev.” He said, his voice still rough.

Ben walked in behind her, first pulling Richie into a hug. “You said you would keep us updated man! How long has he been awake?” He scolded loudly, but squeezed him tighter and said lowly into his ear, “I knew he’d be okay.”

Then Mike and Bill trickled into the room, cheering Eddie on as everyone made their rounds to greet him. He couldn’t really get hugged but that didn’t stop everyone from gripping his arms and ruffling his hair. Ana made her way back with some water and extra blankets for him, and started to chat with the other losers. “Hey Bill?” Richie rubbed the back of his head, walking over to him.

“Hm? W-what’s up?”

“Can we talk outside for a sec?” Bill just nodded and followed him, stopping outside of the door. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry for what I said down there, in the cave. It wasn’t cool of me to bring up Georgie.” He stopped, confused as to why Bill was getting closer.

For a moment he thought he was going to swing at him, but an arm was tossed around him instead, pulling him in for a hug. “It’s alright Rich, I feel like s-such an asshole. You have n-no idea how stupid I feel after s-seeing him in there, I was ready to leave him an-and...” Richie could hear him getting choked up so he squeezed him tighter. 

“You just wanted us to get out, we all know that. You were doing what was best for the group like always.” He assured him. “Don’t hate yourself too much.”

Bill pulled back and nodded, wiping his own eyes a few times. “Th-thanks Rich. And I am s-sorry.” Richie waved him off and wrapped an arm around his shoulder, leading them back into the room. “Don’t be, Billiam.”

“The cafeteria is opened for visitors so feel free to go and eat, you all must be starved.” Ana said as she walked out of the room. Everyone’s eyes fell on Eddie, and he just snorted. “Go, I’ll be fine.” And with that everyone cheered and followed Ana. Everyone but Richie.

“Richie?” Bev’s voice stayed behind and he shook his head. “I’m good, not hungry.”

“You have to eat something.” She frowned, crossing her arms. He sat back down into the chair beside Eddie and groaned. “Fine mom, just bring me back whatever.” She shook her head and continued after the others.

Once they were all gone for certain, Eddie spoke up. “Thanks for not leaving me Rich.”

“Eds, I’m really not hungry I wasn’t lying-”

“I’m not talking about now.”

Richie was silent for a moment. “Oh.”

“I don’t blame them for wanting to leave me down there just so you know, no hard feelings there.” He laughed as if it were some joke. “Maybe I should finally be thankful for your stubborn ass.”

“Is that what they told you?”

“Yeah and about how you told them to leave you to die with me, are you out of your mind?” Eddie looked somewhat mad now, the line on his forehead reappearing after all this time. 

“If you think I should’ve left you down there then you’re the one that’s out of your mind.”

“I’m not saying you should’ve left me, but that was a stupid decision on your part. What if  _ you _ died?”

Richie laughed, shrugging. “I thought we just clarified that I was okay with that. Plus now we’re even. You risked your life for me, I risked my life for you. Boom, even.”

“That is not the same thing.” He argued, adjusting himself against the backboard of the bed. “I didn’t know I was risking my life at the time, and you were still perfectly alive-”

“So if the roles were switched, would you have left me?” Richie asked, catching Eddie off guard. “You know what, please don’t answer that I take it back.” 

“I would stay.” Eddie said quietly.

“What?” Richie almost whispered. “Very funny Spaghetti-”

“I’m not fucking joking!” He snapped. “Why would I joke about that? That’s your schtick! Richie, twenty-seven years or not, you’re still my best friend. If I thought that there was any hope of getting you out of there, of course, I wouldn’t leave you. Dumbass.”

“Awe shucks Eds, you really know how to make a girl blush.”

Eddie let his head fall back with a groan. “I can’t get one serious moment with you can I?” Thankfully Richie didn’t have to answer, and Eddie’s doctor walked in. 

“Mr. Kaspbrak, I’m glad to see you awake.” He greeted, beginning to flip through the pages on the clipboard. “Earlier than expected.” He added. The three sat in somewhat uncomfortable silence as the doctor hummed, reading through Eddie’s file. “I’ll go over the surgery, pain meds, and recovery in a second but first it seems that the number on your insurance is outdated. If you’ll give me it, we can call your wife to let her know your status...”

_ Oh fuck. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to comment what you think, and a kudos is always appreciated <3 thank you so much for reading and stay tuned for updates!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie and Eddie have some big decisions to make.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: I am not a medical professional and have no experience with life-threatening wounds, so take any descriptions with a grain of salt :)

Richie was sure he was having a heart attack. 

His chest tightened and the words leaving the doctor’s mouth physically hurt him. The room was spinning around him but thankfully he was sitting in a chair or he was sure he’d lose control of his legs. He turned to Eddie, who looked just as caught off guard.

“I uh…” Eddie returned the shocked look at Richie, his brown eyes open wide.

The doctor noticed some sort of hesitance and clarified, “I can further explain your condition and possibly set up some accommodation for her to-”

“No.” Eddie spat, words moving fast as usual. “I’ll take care of it, thanks. All she’d do is worry and not listen anyway, better not to waste your breath.”

“If that’s what you want Mr. Kaspbrak.” The doctor shot him a questioning look but wrote something on his clipboard. “If you need to make a call, I’ll have staff bring you a phone of some sort since you will be bedridden for a while. Mr. Tozier, I’ll have Alex come in and run you through things as promised. Mr. Kasprak, you will go through the recovery in stages. No solid foods until at least tomorrow, we will monitor your intake and how you hold it down. As I’ve told your friend here, we will wean you off of the morphine before you leave. We will also attempt to help you build back strength during your stay, but until then we will mostly just be monitoring your progress, continued physical therapy is something we can discuss when you are cleared. Once again, if anything seems off don’t hesitate to call me in.”

And with that, he left and allowed Alex to walk into the room with a bunch of equipment in his hands. “So I’m not sure how long you’ll be caring for Mr. Kaspbrak here, but it’s good to teach you how to do it properly just in case. Once you’re a master at it you can teach whoever else needs to know.”

“Roger that.” Richie saluted, the aching in his heart disappearing slowly. 

“I hope you have patience.” Eddie scoffed. “He’s clumsy as shit.” He nodded towards Richie, who was squinting his eyes back at him. Alex placed the supplies on the table next to Eddie and handed Richie a roll of bandages. “Stand up.”

Richie listened, letting Alex take his seat. “Now when you are doing this, it is important that the chest is flat as possible.” He beckoned Richie closer, grabbing the hand that was holding the bandages. “Grab that first.” He pointed at another roll in the pile. “This is plastic dressing, it’s sanitary and used to cover the wound itself. Don’t worry, we will send you home with plenty of this.”

Richie picked it up and weighed it in his hand, inspecting it. “Um, okay?”

“Unravel some of it and put it here.” He lifted his shirt up high and pointed to a spot on his chest. “Make sure that the dressing extends at least 2 inches past the wound edges, say it ends right here. This prevents the dressing from being sucked back into the wound. It’s best to tape the top and sides of the dressing and leave the bottom open. Leaving one side open allows for air to escape when he exhales. Since he has an exit wound too you’ll have to repeat this twice. Sterile medical tape is ideal, we can give you that too but it should be in every pharmacy.” 

Richie followed his hands and carefully taped a patch of the dressing onto his skin. “This is oddly intimate, usually people take me to dinner first.” He mumbled.

“Shut up and listen, Richie, this is important.” Eddie scolded, pulling a laugh from both men. He was clearly watching too, listening to Alex’s instructions carefully. 

“You’re doing good man.  Now that’s the field dressing.” He pointed to the first roll that Richie had in his hands. “Wrap one tail under and around me. Good, now wrap the other tail around in the opposite direction and bring it back over the dressing. Tighten the two tails and tie them with a nonslip knot over the center of the dressing. Awesome, I’m officially bandaged up.”

“You’re officially a mummy is what you are.” Richie heard a giggle over his shoulder and he turned to smile at Eddie. “See? I’m fully capable of taking care of you.” He didn’t mean for it to sound so genuine, but it made his heart flutter when Eddie’s face flushed.

“The knot will provide additional pressure over the wound and will help to keep the seal airtight. But remember, the dressing should not interfere with breathing and you should keep pressure on the plastic as you apply the dressing so that the plastic doesn’t slip off the wound.” Alex continued, trying to wiggle out of the bandages. “You did great, perfect actually. You sure this is your first time?”

“I told you before, _ born again _ .” Richie said with an exaggerated wink. Alex laughed, pulling at the dressing to free his torso. “Hear that Eduardo? I’m a fast learner!” Richie stood back up from his crouched position and opened his arms as if to say  _ tada _ .

The three of them turned their attention to the rest of the losers who began to form at the door. “Are we interrupting something?” 

“Not at all.” Alex stood, wrapping the supplies back up into a buddle. “Richie, this pile is for you. Bandages and cleaning supplies. As always, if you have any questions or concerns just holler. That goes for anyone!”

“Thank you!” The rest of the losers said in unison, letting Alex pass by before surrounding Eddie again. Beverly tossed Richie a packaged sandwich which he only ate a few bites of. “Hungry Eddie?” Ben asked, offering a bag of chips.

“ _ Yes _ .” Eddie whined, letting his head fall back. “But I can’t have solids till tomorrow I think.” 

“Sorry.” Ben quickly moved the bag out of sight, Bill calling dibs on them. The losers easily fell deep into conversations, storytelling, and laughter. For a moment it was like everything was normal again as everyone found a spot to claim in the room, making themselves as comfortable as possible. 

“I really don’t want to stop this brilliant story about peanut butter.” Beverly halted the heated debate on which was best, creamy or chunky. “But what is everyone’s plan for after all…  _ this _ ?”

“I have a m-movie to finish.” Bill sighed. “And p-possibly another b-b-book to write.”

“I better be in that fucking book.” Richie threatened, making Bill promise to write a character with some resemblance to him.

“I’m not sure yet. But I’m thinking about visiting Florida.” Mike smiled. “I’ve always wanted to since I was a kid…. I think it’s finally time to get out of Derry.”

“Good for you man.” Ben smiled.

“What about you Benny Boy? Got any news for us?” Richie winked at him not so discretely. Ben rubbed the back of his head sheepishly so Bev spoke up. “Ben and I are going to Chicago together. I’m um… I’m leaving my husband.”

“Bevvy.” Richie sniffed, making her shake her head. He was probably the only one that could call her that without her being reminded of her father. He was always the nickname guy,  _ that _ they all knew. “I’m so happy for you both- shit I’m gonna cry.”

“Yeah yeah, what about you trashmouth?” She laughed, her own voice wavering.

Richie was doing everything possible to stall his turn, but now it was finally time to tell them all how pathetic he was without them in his life. “Probably heading back to LA.” He swallowed, feeling himself heat up at everyone’s stares. “And you know if I still have a job I was thinking about writing my own stuff.”

“That’s awesome man!”

“So proud of you hun!”

“Way to go Richie!”

“I better g-get free tickets R-Rich.”

“If you write any jokes about me or my mother I’ll kill you.”

Richie smiled at all of his friend’s support, but especially beamed at Eddie. “No promises Eds. You know how much I love the woman.”

“What about you Eddie?” Mike asked, his face filling with the big question. “Has anyone even called your wife yet?”

“Uh, no.” He answered quietly, frowning when all eyes turned to him. “I meant to do it today but… you know...”

“It’s alright Eddie, take your time.” Mike said more gently. “I didn’t mean to-”

“No, no.” Eddie shook his head. “I’ll do it right now, I just need a phone... Richie?”

Richie had gone silent, his mind filling with thoughts of Myra, who he hated with a burning passion. Hated more and more every time the subject came up. Every time that he was reminded that Eddie was married.  _ To a woman _ .

Beverly was eyeing him, a concerned look in her eye as he fumbled with his phone, pulling it out of his pocket and handing it to Eddie without making much eye contact.

“Thanks.” He hummed, taking the phone from his hands and punching in a number before clearing his throat. “I’m sorry, can everyone just give me some space?”

“No problem man, we get it.” Ben was the first to stand up. 

“B-be strong.” Bill said, following after him with Mike. Richie stood last, slinging an arm around Bev’s shoulders and leading her out when Eddie stopped them. 

“Hey Bev?” His voice was dry and low. “Can you actually stay?”

“Of course sweety.” She smiled at him, letting Richie’s arm fall from her shoulders and walked back towards the bed to take Richie’s seat. As he closed the door behind him, he tried to not feel too offended that Eddie wanted Bev there and not him. 

But at the same time, he understood. Beverly was really good at keeping things calm, and if Eddie wanted her there it was for a reason. To the group’s relief, they weren’t all waiting outside for too long, and Bev opened the door for them again. Everyone went back to their positions and Eddie handed Richie back his phone. “Thanks.” He mumbled, and Richie just nodded. “Sure.”

Thankfully it didn’t take much effort to ease the tension in the room, laughter and smiles filling the space again. They all stood there until they were told by hospital staff that they had wayyy overstayed visiting hours and needed to leave. “I’m staying.” Richie said once outside of the room, not to anyone’s surprise. 

“Figures.” Ben smiled, his armed hooked with Beverly.  _ Man their kids would be gorgeous _ .

“We’ll be back tomorrow okay?” Beverly chimed, and the others agreed. 

“Yeah okay.” Richie nodded. “I’ll probably go back at some point to get some stuff. He shouldn’t be alone just yet.” He was enveloped in multiple hugs before sneaking back into Eddie’s room. “You’re gonna get in trouble Rich.” Eddie not only sounded tired, but he looked it too.

“Hush Eds, I’m not going anywhere. Plus, they love me here!” As if on cue, the doctor walked back in and was startled by Richie’s presence. 

“Visiting hours are over.” He squinted at Richie, motioning to the door.

“Uh… I’m his brother?” 

“Are you now?” The doctor looked almost amused. “Never heard of him in your standup. Actually, if I recall correctly, you mentioned being a single child.”

“Well fuck.” Richie laughed, Eddie shaking his head behind him. “You got me! How bout an autograph and a picture to keep quiet?” He offered with a wink and his fingers crossed.

The doctor actually laughed at that. “You’re entertaining, I’ll give you that, but I’m not that much of a fan. Rules are rules Mr. Tozier, I’m sorry.”

“What if I want him to be here?” Eddie asked, avoiding Richie’s shocked gaze.

“Again, I’m sorry, but only spousal visits are allowed at this time. Your wife-”

“I’m getting divorced.” Eddie resonded bluntly, harsher than he intended. Richie coughed loudly, not being able to help stifle the breath being punched out of his body. “I have no family to visit, Richie is  _ all _ that I have here.”

“Mr. Kaspbrak I-”

“Please.” Eddie looked weak and tired after a long day of conversating; something he was not used to doing even at his normal capacity. He didn’t even know if he had anyone in New York to call a  _ friend _ . He wasn’t lying when he said that Richie was probably all he had at the moment. Of course, he knew that the other losers were there for him, but Richie was always different.

“Alright.” The doctor gave in with a sigh. “He will be allowed to stay under the circumstances. I’ll have the staff further train him on your care throughout your recovery.”

“Thank you.” It was Richie who said it first, not Eddie. The doctor just nodded and told them for the millionth time to call if Eddie needed him. “So.” Richie sat back down in his chair. “How is everything? Are you doing okay?”

“I’m fine, Rich.” Eddie turned his head away from him, staring at the blank wall. 

“Is it true?” Richie asked carefully.

“Which part?” Eddie snorted. “Getting divorced or me having no one.” His tone was bitter, making Richie frown. “Both are true.”

“Fuck everyone else Eds!” He shouted, throwing his hands into the air. “You have the losers man, you always will. And as for Jabba the Hutt-”

“Richie!”   
  


“-you don’t need to feel ashamed Eddie, I just want to make sure you’re alright.”

“No Richie! I’m not fucking alright!” He spat, turning his head to face Richie again. “I got stabbed in the fucking face by my high school bully. Then I got fucking impaled through the chest by a fucking demon clown, almost died, now I’m stuck here immobilized, and you know how much I hate not being able to move! I’m hungry, my hair feels gross, I desperately want to brush my fucking teeth, and my entire body hurts! I just called Myra to tell her all of this just to be lectured about how stupid and weak I am, then only to have her beg me not to divorce her! Now what? I have to basically gain the strength to fucking walk again, like a newborn? I’m going to have to find somewhere else to stay because there’s no way I’m stepping another foot inside my house, I have nowhere to go! Oh, and God knows if I’m even still employed!” He let out a dry laugh. “Then you are all gonna go home anyway, who knows if we’ll forget again-”

“Eds slow down.” Richie gripped his hand. “You’re gonna pop a lung at this rate.”

“For once Richie, just shut up!” Eddie yelled, ripping his hand away. For once, Richie listened and closed his mouth. Eddie took a few deep breaths during the silence. “I- I’m sorry Rich.” He whimpered, big brown eyes watering. “I shouldn’t be taking my anger out on you. It’s not your-”

“Come to LA with me.”

_ “What?” _

Richie mentally slapped himself, but not out of regret. He never had great timing for anything other than his jokes. “You don’t have nowhere to go. Eds, come to LA with me.” He asked again. Eddie just looked at him with wide eyes.

“Richie I swear to God if this is some sick joke...” Now his words were wavering.

“Jesus, Eddie, no! Let me help you. I have my own place, you’d have your own space, and I’ll only bother you to help change your bandages.” Richie reached for his hand again. “Please Eds. Let me just do this for you.”  _ Don’t make me go home alone. _

“You saved my life.” Eddie snorted. “I think you’ve done enough.”

“You know what I meant. Please Spaghetti, don’t make me beg.”

“Stop calling me that.” Eddie cringed, falling silent after. “Are you sure, Rich?”

“One hundred percent! It would be an honor to be your roommate and nurse.” Richie squeezed his hand, and to his delight, Eddie squeezed back. 

“Okay.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Eddie smiled, wiping his face with the back of his other hand. “Thank you.”

“Anytime.” Richie rubbed the back of his hand and desperately tried to shake the heat from his face. “You look tired, want the light off?”

“Mhm.” Was the short response he got. Richie laid his hand down carefully on the bed and walked over to the switch. “Rich?”

“Yeah Eds?”

“You’re staying right?”

Richie sat back into the chair, the light from the hallway barely illuminating both of their faces. “Of course. I’m not going anywhere without you, I thought that was clear.”

“Thank you.” He said again, shutting his eyes softly.

“No problem. I always promised Sonia that I’d take care of her little Eddie bear.”

Eddie smirked, his eyes still closed. “Yeah right. She’s probably rolling in her grave right now.”

“I always did have a physical effect on her.”

“Don’t make me kick your ass Richie.”

“Pft I’m sure you would. Let’s get you all nice and fixed up first, then you can kick my ass. Maybe even kiss it too-”

_ “Goodnight.” _ Eddie said loudly to make a point, letting his head roll the other way despite his fingers lacing with Richie's larger ones. Richie was thankful that his blush was hidden by the darkness of the room, smiling like a complete idiot.

“Goodnight Eddie Spaghetti.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of the kudos and comments <3 they make my day! Please let me know if you enjoyed, and what you'd like to see next!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie brings Eddie home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Again, I'm no doctor and I know nothing about the medical field!

Bill was the first one to fly home, letting everyone know that he landed safely and was actually thinking of moving to a bigger city. Mike invited him to Florida with him, and was the next one to leave Derry after all of this time. Bev and Ben also offered him a place in Chicago and left a few days after Mike, both almost missing their flight from not wanting to leave Richie and Eddie just yet. 

But eventually, it was just Richie and Eddie left in Derry. 

The only time Richie really left Eddie’s side was to grab stuff from the inn, return their rental cars, and help Mike explain to the police what had happened with Bowers. Thankfully self-defense was a pretty easy route considering that he was a lunatic who stabbed Eddie and tried to kill Mike. Mike handled most of that anyway since Richie was a public figure and really didn’t need a murder associated with him.

And once Eddie was able to start eating solids, Richie finally broke the news to the group that Eddie was going back to LA with him once he was released from the hospital. He still had a long way to go, and the hardest part for Richie was watching him in pain. He didn’t have mobility in the small hospital bed, and it wasn’t exactly pleasant having his bandages changed. 

When Richie first assisted the nurses with changing them, he felt the need to throw up. The wound didn’t look good at all, but the staff assured Richie that it was healing normally and just in the process of scabbing over. As the days went by, it did start to look less raw, and Richie could handle seeing it without feeling too sick. In fact, he had pretty much perfected the process of tending to Eddie’s chest and back. The process was understandably uncomfortable and painful for Eddie, who shut his eyes the entire time, too scared to see his own chest.

“Looking good Eddie.” Ana smiled, patting his chest softly through the cloth. “You don’t need as much cover now that your wound is secured. Your nerves are still sensitive which is actually a good thing, not much damage there to the surrounding tissue.”

“Oh is that why I feel like I’m getting stabbed all over again?” Eddie laughed through gritted teeth. “Goody.”

“I know, I’m sorry but we have to lower your morphine each day, it’s hospital protocol.” She gave him an apologetic smile. “We will give you plenty of over the counter meds.”

Eddie was healing very well for someone with such a life-threatening injury and the hospital staff, including his doctor, were impressed. Even Eddie was seeming very confident despite still being bedridden, but that all quickly washed away when he was told to try to  _ walk  _ after a week or two.

“I can’t  _ fucking _ do it.” His voice was sharp, laced with pain as his legs wobbled.

“You’re almost there Eddie, one more step then we can stop.” Alex had his arms holding the smaller man upright, guiding him across the room. Eddie absolutely refuted using a walker, but in the moment he wished his pride allowed for it. Maybe it would make the pain stop.

“My fucking chest feels like it’s being torn open!” He clutched at the bandages, his breath catching in his throat. Richie felt like he was going to faint just watching him.

“I know, I know.”Alex stopped him, letting him catch his breath. “I promise it’s not though, this is a normal part of the recovery process, it won’t be like this for long.”

“I can’t, I can’t.”

Richie eyed him carefully, heart breaking at the sight of his feisty Eds struggling to stay upright without doubling over, a strong need to stop his pain washing over him. “Do you need my help getting him back into bed?”

Alex nodded, guiding Eddie again before he shook violently in his arms. “No! I want to do it.”

“Eds don’t be ridiculous, you’re going to hurt yourself.” Richie, despite Eddie’s dramatic protest, went to his side. With a shaking hand, Eddie placed it on his chest to stop him from getting closer. 

“Stop Rich, just let me-”

“ _ You _ stop Eddie, you can’t push yourself like this! Let us help you-”

“No!” It came out of Eddie’s mouth bitterly. “Leave Richie.”

“What?”

“I said get out!” His voice cracked in frustration. “I don’t want you to see me like this, please just leave.” Richie opened his mouth to protest. “Don’t make me throw a fucking fit.  _ Please _ .  _ Richie please just go _ .” Now tears were rolling down from those beautiful brown eyes, which he desperately tried to cover while he pleaded. “Alex tell him to leave, I don’t want visitors right now. Please.”

“I’ll come get you after, Richie.” Alex said lowly, his palm rubbing Eddie’s shoulder to calm him. “You’re doing good Eddie, just relax and we can keep going or stop, whichever you want.” If it was anyone else touching Eddie like that, Richie would have had the urge to fight them, but he just nodded and left. He quickly turned the corner to the bathrooms and bent over the toilet to vomit. 

“Fuck.” He spit, wiping his mouth and flushing before taking his usual spot in the waiting room when he wasn’t with Eddie. 

“Oh baby, you look like you got hit with a train.”

“Thanks Tee.” He winked, rubbing his eyes. “I’m good, I was just kicked out of the room.”

“Bandages got to ya?”

“No, he’s uh… starting to walk again. Big day.”

Teegan’s eyes widened and she frowned, shaking her head. “Poor boy. The first day back on the feet is always the worst. Good news is that the initial shock usually goes away quickly and he’ll be running in no time.”

That made Richie smiled despite the pain in his heart. “Yeah. Just sucks to see him in pain you know?” He bit his lip, trying not to sob on the spot. He could save that shit for later.

“I understand. I’m surprised they’re already having him walk, which means it won’t be long before he’s discharged. Heard he’s getting divorced though, hopefully that won’t interfere much with his recovery.”

“It will help a lot, I'm sure.” He nodded, sounding way too excited about the divorce. “She wasn’t exactly a keeper. Not like you babe.”

She leaned over the desk to give him a slap before chuckling. “Heard he’s going back with you. New York to California, that’s quite the move.”

Richie frowned, suddenly feeling selfish for not having thought about that. “I just didn’t want him to be alone, you know? It sucks.”

“Being alone?”

“Yeah.”

“Big comedy guy like you? Alone?”

“You’d be surprised.” He laughed. “My life is pretty embarrassing. Hopefully, Eddie will bring some spice back into it.”

“I’m sure he will.” She smiled. “He talks about you every chance he gets.”

Richie turned his whole body to her. “Really? Good things I hope!”

“ _ Most _ of it is good.”

“Asshole.” He smirked. “That’s my Eds.”

“Oh if you think he talks about you a lot, you should listen to yourself. Every sentence out of your mouth has something to do with that boy.”

“ _ That boy  _ is my best friend, watch your mouth or it’ll be our turn to get divorced.”

She didn’t bother replying to that. Instead, she laid her face in her hand, studying him for a minute. “Is that all?”

“Nope, I’ve always got more jokes sweetcheeks-”

“No.” She shook her head. “Is that all he is to you?”

Richie swallowed his words and sat up straight, backing away from her slightly. “What are you talking about?”

“Mr. Kaspbrak.” She clarified, her voice lowering despite there being no one else in the waiting room. “I’m only asking because none of the others are here so why are you?”

“We go back. More than the others.” He replied dryly, feeling his body start to tremble.  _ She knows your secret. _

“Okay.” It was clear that she wasn’t trying to push him. “You’re a good man Richie, remember that. The world, Derry included, is a different place. I’ve only known you for less than a week and I already love you.”

“Thanks mom.” He bit his lip, understanding what she was implying.  _ Dirty little secret. _

“Thought I was your wife.”   
  


“I have a thing for incest.” That earned him another slap before Alex emerged and called him back towards the room. “How, uh… How is he?”

“He did great.” Alex sighed. “But you weren’t kidding when you told us he was stubborn.”

“It’s a force to be reckoned with.” Richie agreed, passing him to get back to Eddie. When he got to the door, the blinds were pulled down so he knocked gently before opening it up. “Hey bud, how’s everything?”

Eddie was clearly trying to avoid looking at him. “I’m fine.”

“C’mon Eddie.” Richie sighed. “You know it’s okay to not be fine right? I mean damn you have plenty of reasons to not feel fine. Remember?”

“It’s whatever Richie.” He sounded tired, definitely from overexerting his body. “I’m sorry for yelling at you before, I just was just frustrated. I didn’t want you to see me like that…” His voice broke off, and he shut his eyes.

“See you like what? Recovering? Being a survivor? Walking  _ awesomely _ ?”

“Being  _ weak _ .” Eddie managed, scoffing as more tears stained his face. “Dammit.”

“Eds listen to me.” Richie sat down, taking his hand firmly. “Dude you are not weak. Yeah your body is a little weak from being fucking shish kabobed by a clown claw, but that is normal! Didn’t you hear the staff being so impressed by how you’re recovering? Your body needs to heal man, so yeah, your body might be a little weak right now shithead. But you are Eddie fucking Kaspbrak, and you’ve literally  _ never _ been weak.” He could only see one side of Eddie’s smirk since he was still facing the other way, but it was there.

“You’re right, thanks Rich.” He nodded, sniffling. “I’m just being stupid.”

“Insult yourself one more time and I’ll step on you.” 

“For the last time, I’m not that short.” Eddie laughed, squeezing Richie’s hand. 

Teegan was right when she said that Eddie would get the hang of walking pretty quickly, which was also no surprise since Eddie took very good care of his body before coming back to Derry. So much so that the doctor insisted that if it was  _ Richie _ who got impaled, he’d have no shot. Shockingly, that did not make him feel any better about himself. 

Richie isn’t ashamed to admit that he cried when Eddie was finally released from the hospital. Partly because Eddie was coming home with him, and for the first time in a long time Richie didn’t have to be alone. He also cried like a baby saying goodbye to his three favorite nurses whom he grew to love. And they all  _ loved _ Richie. Ana, Alex, and Teegan were sad to watch them go, but Richie promised that he’d be sending them all tickets to one of his shows. Only this time, the material would be his own. “You’re such a sap.” Eddie shook his head, rubbing his back lightly to comfort him.

“It’s allergies I swear.”

Eddie was practically begging to leave, considering that he’d been stuck in hospital hell for those weeks. He almost broke out into a run after the doctor reminded him  _ multiple  _ times that he could not shower for another week or have sex for two.

“Isn’t sex always for two?” Richie laughed, holding up his hand for a high five. He didn’t get one. Instead, he got a jab to the ribs from Eddie’s elbow.

“Seriously Mr. Kaspbrak, two weeks, no intercourse. And even then, I wouldn’t take things to any extreme.”

“I got it…” He mumbled in response, tugging at Richie’s sleeve. But Richie being Richie couldn’t miss the opportunity to embarrass Eddie a little more before they left.

“Not even a handy, doc?”

“RICHIE.”

Despite Eddie’s pleas, Richie bought very expensive first class tickets to LA so that Eddie could be as comfortable as possible. At first, Richie was nothing but excited to bring Eddie home with him, and he still was for the most part. But as they got off of the plane and hopped in a taxi, his mind started racing with nothing but negative thoughts.

_ What if he hates the place? What if he misses New York?? Oh shit is it too dirty??? Do I have any food there???? What if I actually suck as a roommate? What if something happens? What if Eddie needs a doctor again????? _

“Hello, Earth to Richie?” Eddie sang, waving a hand in front of his face. “Are we almost there?”

“Soon.” He swallowed, shaking his head of any bad thoughts. “Hopefully it’s up to your standard.” He said it as a joke, but he really was praying that Eddie would be satisfied.

“Pretty sure even if you lived in a tent I’d still be grateful.” Eddie smiled at him, something that always made Richie weak in the knees. “I mean it, I really appreciate you letting me stay with you.”

“I’m so glad you said that. The tent is a bit of a squeeze but we can make it work…”

“I was trying to be nice, Dick.”

“That’s my name, don’t wear it out!” 

“You’re an actual child. You know what, I changed my mind. I don’t wanna live with you anymore.” Eddie huffed, but there was still a faint smirk on his face.

“Too late, we’re here.” Richie visibly swallowed, a panic still settled in his gut. He tipped the cab driver and helped Eddie out of the car before pulling the suitcases from the trunk. He tapped the hood of the car to signal he was finished, and it drove away leaving the two standing in front of Richie’s place. 

“Oh wow.” Eddie’s eyes scanned the house. “This is really nice Richie.”

“It’s alright.” He replied sheepishly. 

“Oh don’t be so humble. This is wow… this is all yours?”

“It’s not that big of a house Eds.” Richie laughed, earning a glare from Eddie. “I mean yeah, it’s bigger than a New York apartment but this is LA man.”

“Whatever Mr. Warbucks, take me inside.”

“Ooo an Annie reference? Too bad no one has used one in ages.” He placed down the luggage in his hands once they reached the front door and fumbled with the keys in his pocket. “Welcome to la casa de Tozier!”

“I’m impressed.” Eddie stepped in before him, analyzing the place. “It’s not a complete dump like I was expecting.”

Richie gasped. “Edward Kaspbrak willingly came to my humble abode despite thinking it could be a dump? Who are you and what have you done with him?”

“Maybe almost dying changes a man.”

“Yeah let’s maybe not joke about that yet.” Richie laughed, his heart starting to beat faster.  _ If you died, Eds, I would’ve lost my damn mind. _

“Richard Tozier doesn’t want to joke about something? Who are you and what have you done with him?” Eddie stuck his tongue out and carried on walking around Richie’s house. It was small compared to some of the houses he’d seen on the drive, but it was definitely larger than any New York apartment. It was only one floor, but still managed with three bedrooms, two bathrooms, an office, a gorgeous kitchen, and a nicely furnished living room. He even had a garage connected to the house, containing a white Bentley sports car.

“I think I underestimated how rich and famous you are.” Eddie laughed, eyeing the car. “Did you buy this to look cool or do you actually think this is a practical car? Don’t answer that. You clearly haven’t heard about the number of accidents douchebags in sports cars get in…”

“Talk to me more about accident statistics baby, it really gets me going.”

“Gross.” Eddie faked a gag, flipping him off. “Are you going to give me the proper tour of la casa de Tozier or should I keep roaming around aimlessly?”

“Follow me my good sir!” And he did. He showed Eddie his room, the one closest to Richie’s. He dropped his suitcases onto the bed before guiding him through each room of the house. It took some time since Eddie wasn’t fast on his feet yet, and he refused crutches or a cane.  _ “What am I? A fucking old man Richie?”  _ Thankfully everything was on one floor so he didn’t need to climb any stairs.

“Tour completed, any questions?” 

“This is a house Richie, not Jurassic Park.” Eddie laughed. 

“Do you like it?” The question was serious, and Eddie shot him a more gentle smile.

“It’s a nice place, of course I like it.”

“Phew, good. Well mi casa es tu casa.” Richie opened his arms out to his home, the excitement of Eddie being there clear on his face. It wasn’t an invitation for a hug at all, which is why Richie was very confused when Eddie wobbled closer to him, lightly wrapping his arms around Richie’s torso.

“Thank you for letting me come here Richie.”

Richie carefully returned the hug, making sure not to press too hard against Eddie’s chest or back. “Stop thanking me, it’s no problem at all. But  _ this _ is pretty cute.”

“Don’t make it weird.” He felt Eddie smile into his shoulder, and it made Richie feel like a giddy twelve year old. “I’m not cute.”

“Oh yes you are.” Richie laughed as the smaller man pulled away. “Top ten cutest Edward moments of my life.”

“Stop.” Eddie shoved him away lightly. “I know it's soon… but can you do me a favor?”

“Anything.” Richie answered so quickly and seriously that he slapped himself mentally. 

“ _ Please _ God help me wash my hair and shave.” He pouted, giving serious puppy eyes that Richie couldn’t believe worked. “Please, I clearly can’t do it myself and it’s been too long.”

Richie easily agreed (shocker) and led Eddie to the kitchen, thinking that him sitting with his head over the sink would be the easiest method. He retrieved Eddie’s shampoo from his suitcase and returned to help slide his shirt off of his body. The bandages didn’t need to cover him so much now that the hole in his chest was patched up and secure, but they were still a pain in the ass. Eddie could only wear loose shirts and sleep at an awkward angle so that there wasn’t much pressure on his back either. 

Richie tried not to pay much attention to the parts of Eddie’s upper body that weren’t covered by bandages, now exposed to him. His shoulders were broad and he wanted to drool at his muscular arms and abs poking out from beneath the cloth. “Hair or face first?” 

“Hmm. Put the shampoo in, let it soak while you shave me, then wash it out.”

“Roger that.” Richie hummed, pouring some of the bottle into his hand and letting his fingers tangle through the tufts of brown hair. Eddie’s hair  _ was _ a little gross. The hospital staff tried to get as much gunk out of it without infecting his face wound, but it was still pretty filthy. “Are you sure you want to be shaven? The beard is a nice touch.”

He wasn’t lying. A shadow was starting to form on Eddie’s strong jawline, and Richie didn’t hate it. It made him look a little more rough around the edges but in the best way possible. “I’m positive, it’s itchy as hell. Just be careful around my cheek.”

Eddie’s cheek was quick to heal. He got it glued at the hospital instead of getting stitches, which he was thankful for considering the scar was pretty dull. “Have faith.” Richie smirked, lathering Eddie’s jawline carefully with shaving cream. 

“Cut me some slack. It’s hard to have faith in you while staring at your facial hair, have you looked in the mirror lately?”

Richie would’ve been offended but he recognized the smiled on Eddie’s face, knowing that he wasn’t  _ really _ being mean. “If you don’t shut your mouth I’m gonna butcher this.”

He carefully shaved the patches of hair growing on Eddie’s face, gripping his jaw and tilting his head slightly when he needed too. It was an oddly intimate process, but Richie brushed away those thoughts and focused on being extra gentle around Eddie’s injured cheek. “There ya go. Look at that baby face, good as new.”

“I do not have a baby face.” Eddie frowned, making Richie giggle. “Whatever, back to shampooing please.”

“Gosh, you’re so bossy.” Richie said it as he moved his fingers through Eddie’s hair, grinning when he sighed and shut his eyes. “I’m gonna turn the water on, don’t open your eyes just in case.”

“Mkay.” Eddie’s breathing slowed and his tense shoulders fell down into a more relaxed position. “Feels good Rich.”

“Good.” Richie felt his heart beat faster at the small sighs falling out of Eddie’s mouth as his fingers scratched his scalp lightly. “I think I might have a future in hair styling huh?”

“This is hardly styling.” Eddie scoffed, eyes still closed. “You’re just washing it, it’s not a special talent. Now shush and let me enjoy this.”   
  


He caressed Eddie’s head until the water ran clean down the drain without traces of anything else. “I think you’re all cleaned up Eds.”

“No.”

“No?” 

“Keep going for a little bit.” Eddie’s voice was soft, and Richie being a lovestruck fool, could not deny him. So he continued for a few more minutes, lightly tugging at a few tangles and brushing strands away from his eyes and ears. Eventually, he shut off the water and wrapped Eddie’s hair with a small towel. 

“How do you feel?”

“Like a new man.” Eddie smiled, not moving from his seat, his eyes still closed. 

Richie wasn’t sure if that meant because of his newly washed hair and shaved face or the whole move to LA, but he smiled regardless. “Chest feels okay?”

Eddie finally opened his eyes and nodded at him. “Still sore as always, but not too much pain.”

“Okay good, let me know if you need meds or something. You hungry?” They ended up ordering Chinese food, something that Eddie was craving in the hospital but refused to eat while still in Derry. After what happened at Jade of the Orient, Richie agreed.

That’s how they both ended up lounging on the couch in food comas. Eddie was propped up against one end of the couch with his legs resting comfortably beside Richie, who sat on the other end with his long legs stretched out to the coffee table. “So let me get this straight.” Eddie laughed. “These people meet online and then they fly to the other person’s country, and have to decide in ninety days if they want to get married?”

“Yes Eds, that’s why it’s called 90 day fiance. And it is the greatest show in the universe.” Richie smiled. “You’ve really never seen this before?”

“Reality TV rots your brain.”

“Oh c’mon, live a little bit.”

“I’m _ trying _ .” Eddie glared. “That’s why I’m sitting here watching it. That’s why I moved in with your ass in the first place!”

“I mean when you think about it, we kind of did the same thing.” Richie gestured to the TV. “You moved all across the country from New York to live with me in LA.”

“We are childhood friends, we didn’t just meet over the internet. It’s not even remotely the same thing. And we are not getting married!” 

“Really? You wouldn’t marry me?”

“Hell no.” Eddie scoffed despite the smirk forming on his face.

“Not even if I asked nicely?”

“No Richie.”

“Not even after I so kindly washed your hair and shaved you face?”

“No!” Eddie laughed before thinking for a moment. “Maybe I’d marry you if you gave me a shoulder massage. I’m cramped up here.”

Richie chuckled, shaking his head. “Now you’re just taking advantage of my impeccable hospitality.” His mouth was moving as he sat up straighter, turning his torso to Eddie. “Scooch over.”

“Oh really?” Eddie looked surprised that he’d agreed. 

“Why not? I’m getting married at the end of this right?”

“If you can somehow get these knots out without hurting me, sure.” Eddie carefully inched closer to Richie, tugging his legs underneath him when he got close enough. Richie reached his hands out and placed them gently onto Eddie’s collarbone. The injured man tensed immediately, his body releasing a small shiver.

“Relax.” Richie’s voice was gentle, a grin forming on his face when Eddie took a deep breath and let his upper body loosen. “Let me know if it starts to hurt.” His hands gripped Eddie firmly, using his thumbs to dig into the soft flesh in front of him. “Oh wow, you weren’t kidding about the knots.”

“Yeah.” Eddie’s response was shaky, and he pushed back into Richie’s touch.

What started as a favor from Richie became tortue to him. The small moans and hisses falling from Eddie’s mouth drove him crazy, and he had to think of some pretty nasty things to control his blood flow. “Harder Rich. Yeah right there…” And that was the end of that.

Richie felt ashamed as he relieved himself in the shower that night. He wasn’t sure if he was imagining the tension between him and Eddie, but everytime he got close to him, he couldn’t breathe properly. Changing his bandages before he went to sleep was just as torturous, getting to run his hands over Eddie’s smooth chest and back, feeling the muscles and the pumping of Eddie’s heart. 

Thankfully his wounds looked better and better every time he changed them, seeing it look less red and tender and instead start to fade in some areas. The stitching was already starting to disappear, and he could tell that pretty soon Eddie would be able to do without the extreme bandaging. As childish as it sounds, he tucked Eddie into bed, propping him up in the usual position and giving him some pain meds before leaving him to sleep.

Richie lay in bed, trying desperately to shake the sounds of Eddie out of his head, but he was failing. His memory of them alone got him going, and he hated himself for it. “Be a good friend Richie.” He scolded himself, squeezing his eyes shut.

He desperately chased sleep to escape his waking thoughts, but his dreams were even worse. They started with the deadlights, flashes of Eddie back on top of him, straddling his waist on the couch. He shot up, scolding himself as he relieved himself for the second time that night. 

Maybe having Eddie was a mistake. Richie felt terrible for not being able to repress his explicit feelings towards his friend. “You’re disgusting Richie. He’s going through a divorce and recovering from near death, and here you are. You can’t even control you dick around him.” He was mumbling to himself, his eyes heavy from weeks of sleep deprivation. He begged to dream about something else, anything but Eddie in compromising positions, anything but the future of them  _ actually _ getting married.

Be careful what you wish for.

“ _ Richie _ .” Eddie’s voice was meak from above him, the claw piercing right through his chest. Blood painted Richie’s face, and he could taste it on his tongue. The smell and taste of metal would haunt him.

“Eddie.” His reply was just as meak, watching as the love of his life was thrown from him, tossed across the cave like a ragdoll. 

They won, but Eddie was still hurt.

“Richie. Honey I think he’s dead.” Beverly’s voice cut deep into his heart like a knife, and Richie screamed as he was dragged out without Eddie. Eddie  _ died _ without him ever knowing how Richie felt. “EDDIE!” His throat tore with screams. “EDDIE! EDDIE!”

“Richie! Richie, wake up!” 

Richie thrashed awake, nearly tumbling off of the bed in a panic, still convinced he was outside of Neibolt, wailing for Eddie. Luckily he was stabilized by strong hands, gripping his shirt. “Hey hey, calm down Rich. You’re fine, you’re having a nightmare.”

Richie blinked rapidly, trying to get his eyes into focus. There was shuffling at the end of his bed, and then things got clearer as his glasses slid onto his face and the lamp on his nightstand was turned on. “There. Jesus Richie, what the hell?”

Richie saw Eddie clearly now, his own face stricken with panic. “You scared the shit out of me! Are you alright-” The breath was knocked out of him as Richie pulled him into a tight hug. “Be careful Richie, my chest-”

“You died.” Richie sobbed out, clutching at Eddie’s sides.

“I’m okay.” He responded, letting Richie tug him closer. “It was just a dream, we’re both okay.” Eddie had started having nightmares in the hospital, but gradually he got it out of his system and was able to sleep without crying or shaking. But never did he scream.

Richie hadn’t really had any nightmares because he would only sleep for an hour or two at a time, never letting himself fall too deep into sleep, just in case Eddie needed him. “Is this real?” He croaked, his voice closing.

“What?”

“The deadlights, Eddie. I _ saw _ them, so please tell me this is real and we aren’t still down there.”

“This is real Richie, I promise.” Eddie ran a soothing hand down Richie’s sweaty back, only grimacing a little bit. “We are in your room, and we are fine. Just try to calm down, everything is okay.”

“Fuck.” Richie coughed out, burying his chest into Eddie’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Eddie said softly. “We’ve both been through some shit.”

“Yeah.” Richie breathed deeply, feeling better as the scent of Eddie filled his nostrils. He felt safe in Eddie’s arms, the voice in the back of his head scolding him again.  _ You’re pathetic. He’s the one with a fucking hole in his chest and he’s the one holding you. _

“Are you uh… are you feeling better?”

“Yeah Eds, thank you.” He frowned slightly when Eddie pulled away, carefully getting out of the bed. “Try to put on some calming music before you go back to bed.”

Richie laughed at that, like he could fall asleep after such an intense nightmare. “Okay Dr. Kaspbrak.”

“And take a shower too, you’re really sweaty.”

“Yet you still hugged me.” Richie smiled at him, wiping the tears still flowing out of his eyes. 

“Yeah man, I care about you.” His voice was gentle before shaking his head. “But never scare me like that again you idiot. We can talk about it tomorrow. Shower, now.”   
  


“Yes boss.” Richie felt fuzzy at Eddie’s confession. “Goodnight.”  _ My love. _

Eddie stopped at the hallway, leaning against Richie’s door frame for support. He was slightly hunched over from the bandages restricting his movement, and it showed even in his shadow. Without even seeing him, Richie could hear the smile on his lips. “Goodnight Richie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thank you to everyone leaving comments and kudos <3 hope you enjoyed! Stay tuned for more updates as always :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie has big changes coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Angst, minor mentions of suicide

Richie woke up to the sound of clattering pots and pans. He would’ve been worried if the sounds weren’t immediately followed by a loud  _ are you fucking kidding me! _

He grinned to himself, sitting up carefully and rubbing his aching head. As predicted, he didn’t get much sleep the previous night, but he did manage to knock out for a few minutes at a time after a long shower. He flung his legs over the side of the bed and put on his glasses so he was no longer blind. He quietly padded his way to the kitchen and peeked around the corner before making his presence known.

Eddie was still in the clothes he slept in, a loose fitting shirt and shorts a little too short for Richie’s sanity. He was bent over the stove, cooking something, with a line formed on his forehead from frustration. “Stupid… fucking dumb…” He was mumbling to himself, tossing stuff across the kitchen.

“Woah Eds, careful throwing things.” He was amused at Eddie’s little jump and stifled a laugh at the glare he received. 

“Don’t do that, you scared me.” He hunched over the stove again, shutting it off and groaning in defeat. “You messed me up.”

“ _ I _ messed you up?” Richie raised a brow, making his way over to stand next to him. “What are you trying to do?”

“I was trying to make breakfast, but your eggs were expired. And so was pretty much everything else in the fridge so I thought I’d try grilled cheese. Your bacon was still good so I tried to put some on it but you don’t have a press so it just kept cooking unevenly. I had to throw out the first one, and now they just keep burning. I don’t understand why LA stoves are so complicated- why the fuck are you staring at me like that??”

Richie had propped himself against the fridge and just smiled softly at Eddie as he rambled on. “You’re just cute.”

“Stop.” The smaller man’s face was already heating up. “Now you’re just making fun of me.”

“I’m not.” Richie promised. “Making breakfast is pretty cute. A press, Eds? Dude, I haven’t cooked in here for a long time.” He gripped the pan from the stove and moved it to the sink. “I appreciate the effort, A plus. Sorry everything expired, it’s been a while.”

“Don’t apologize…” Eddie already looked like he felt guilty. “This is your house,  _ I’m _ sorry-”

“Hey, let’s go out and eat. Or we can just order in again. You down?”

“Uh sure.” 

“Which one?” Richie watched Eddie shuffle around anxiously, rubbing the back of his neck and avoiding Richie’s eyes.

“If we could just stay here that would be nice. I-” He quickly looked to Richie for a sign of something before continuing. “I don’t want to go out until I’m better.”

“I get it man, that’s totally fine.”

It was almost a replay of the day before, except they ignored the whole nightmare fiasco. The both of them were spread out on the couch, watching some dumb reality tv show and eating their cares away. “Fuck.” Richie nearly choked on his food when he checked his phone after it had been buzzing in his pocket, his manager calling him for the fifteen hundredth time. Eddie looked up from his laptop, which had pretty much replaced  _ his _ phone for the time being.

“Sorry, I just need to take this.” He quickly got up from the couch, sucking in frantic breaths as he held the phone up to his ear. “This is Richie Tozi-”

“WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN RICH?”

Richie hissed at the high volume yelling funneling into his ear. “First you walk off stage at a show and disappear for weeks? Are you begging to have your career destroyed. Megan and Anthony are so pissed, you don’t even know what you’re in for. God, how could you be so stupid?”   
  
“I needed to leave, it was an emergency.”

“Yeah it better have been. In fact, someone better have fucking  _ died _ .”

Richie gripped his phone tightly at that, Eddie lying lifeless in his arms replaying in his head as his manager continued to scream at him. He went on and on about what a mess Richie had caused, how many shows he’d missed, yada yada. Richie just couldn’t take it anymore.

“You’re fired.” He spat, scaring himself with the harsh tone of his own voice.   
  


“And don’t forget-  _ what _ ?”

There was a beat of silence before Richie finally said  _ fuck it. _ “I said you’re fucking fired. Tell Megan and Anthony to refund all of the tickets and put out an apology, say it was an emergency. And it doesn’t matter if someone died or even if I just wanted to fuck off for a while and binge drugs. It’s your guys’ job to fix it, that’s what you get paid to do right? Well not you anymore since you’re fired, but you get it.”

“Richie wait-” He hung up before he could hear anymore, panting from both anger and relief. 

“Are you okay?” Eddie’s voice was soft behind him, and it made Richie smile even after such a heated phone call. 

“I’m awesome.” He nodded, turning to face him. “I just fired my manager!”   
  


A confused look crossed Eddie’s face before the corners of his mouth lifted in amusement. “Congratulations?” 

“Yes! Congratulations to me!” He was practically yelling with a stupid grin on his face. “Do you know what this means Eddie? It means I no longer give a single shit! I can write my own material now, I can just be me!”  _ Well, sort of. _

“Look out world.” Eddie laughed. “Richie Tozier’s being himself. Everybody take cover!”   
  


They both stood there in the hallway, laughing like idiots. After a minute or two, Eddie gripped his chest and shook his head. “Okay, okay. No more laughing, it’s getting uncomfortable.”

“Want me to loosen them?”

“Just a little, do you mind?” Eddie was already pulling at the seams, itching to get some distance from the binding. Richie could only imagine how annoying it was to sleep in them.

“Course not.” Richie led him to the bathroom and sat him on the toilet. “Stay here, I’ll go grab the stuff.” He made his way quickly into Eddie’s room to retrieve the various supplies needed but by the time he walked back into the bathroom, he was startled to see that Eddie had already removed everything. 

“Woah Eds, when did you get so eager to check yourself out?” His voice was laced with the shock he felt, seeing as Eddie couldn’t even open his eyes while the nurses changed the bandages back at the hospital. “It’s looking better and better by the day man, you’re like superhuman or something.”

Eddie didn’t answer, he just stood shirtless facing the mirror with a blank expression. The only part of him that moved were his eyes, slowly scanning his reflection. He stood frozen for too long, melting the smirk off of Richie’s face. “Are you-”

He didn’t even get to ask before Eddie flew to his knees, barely making it over the toilet to empty his breakfast into the bottom of the bowl. Richie cringed hard at the retching sounds coming from the man he cared about so much. “Jesus Eddie, what happened? Are you hurt, what’s going on?”

“Look at me Richie!” Eddie scoffed before lurching back over the bowl.

“Did you not just hear me? It’s looking better and better, what is wrong with you?”

“What is  _ wrong _ with me? I look like I was thrown into a fucking woodchipper-” He interrupted himself with a dry heave, coughing his lungs out over the bowl.

“Eddie I promise you don’t, I swear. Dude you need to calm down, you’re going to hurt yourself.” He was bent next to Eddie, rubbing soothing circles on his back with his hands gripping his shoulders. It was where the claw first struck him, and if Eddie was freaking out about his chest then he definitely didn’t need to see his back. “Take a few breaths with me, c’mon.”

Richie carefully helped him to his feet, continuing his gentle grip on his shoulders. “There ya go. You’re okay.”

“I’m fucking broken.”

“You’re fine.”

“I’m  _ ugly. _ ”

“You’re perfect.” Richie said it so forcefully and so quickly that he didn’t even have time to register what he was saying. Eddie’s eyes moved from his reflection to Richie’s.

“Not funny Richie.” He mumbled.

Richie scoffed, removing his hand from Eddie’s shoulder to rub his face before throwing it in the air. “For God’s sake Eddie, I’m not joking! I know it’s hard to believe but not everything out of my mouth is a joke! I’m serious, you really are perfect. You are recovering so well, you’re leaving your abusive wife, you’re trying new things, you’re just so perfect so stop degrading yourself! Your mom did enough of that when you were a kid, man, so stop. Damn…”

“Rich-”

“No, sit your ass down and let me change your bandages. We can talk about everything later.” To his surprise, Eddie listened and sat quietly on the lid of the toilet. Richie never liked silence, but he didn’t want Eddie running his mouth about how ugly he thought he was either. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell… You know Eds, if you’re ugly then I must be an actual dumpster fire.”

He looked up just in time to catch the small laugh leaving Eddie’s lips. “You’re not, Rich.”

“You don’t have to lie, I’m aware of my mess.”

“Looks good on you.” It came out of Eddie’s mouth so low that Richie thought he could’ve imagined it. To save himself the embarrassment, he quickly bound his chest and left Eddie to brush his teeth until his mouth was free of the taste of vomit.

He made his way back to the couch and scrolled through channels while Eddie did his thing in the bathroom. “Hey Rich?” He emerged from the hallway, holding up his shirt. “Can you help me?”

“Sure, Eds. With the shirt?”

Eddie nodded, slowly padding his way towards the couch and handing over the clothing. “Thanks.”

“Still too weak?” Richie regretted it as soon as he said it, and he quickly looked up to Eddie with guilty eyes. “I’m sor-”

“It’s okay.” Eddie shook his head. “I know you didn’t mean it like that. Just these stupid bandages… don’t give me the best arm mobility. I got it off but I can’t get it back on.”

“Don’t worry about it. They’ll be off before you know it.” He slipped the shirt over Eddie’s head before gasping in surprise as Eddie knocked him clean onto his back. 

“This seem weak to you?” There was a smirk on his face, hovering above him. Richie didn’t answer, he just smiled back and nodded. God, Eddie looked so handsome dangling from above him and practically straddling his hips. Then Richie tried desperately not to panic, seeing as this is how Eddie was on top of him right before he was impaled. 

_ You’re safe. _ Richie reminded himself, and thankfully his phone buzzing in his pocket again had Eddie rolling off of him. He lifted his hips off of the couch, not bothering to get up while he dug his phone out of his pocket.

“It’s Bev.” Richie’s grin grew, and he quickly placed the phone up to his ear. “What’s the special occasion sweetcheeks?” 

“Did you get the letter?” Her words were low and made Richie feel uneasy.

“What letter?”

“Stan he-” Her voice sounded broken and she sniffled. “Patty sent out a letter that he wrote. It’s addressed to all of us. Check your mail.” She didn’t have to finish before Richie left a confused Eddie sitting on the couch as he ran to his front door, tearing it open so he could sprint to the mailbox.

He dumped the pile onto the coffee table, frantically scattering the papers and bills aside as he looked for the envelope from a Stanley Uris. He finally found one sent from a Patricia Uris, and he sat on the floor, opening it with Bev still on the phone.

_ Dear Losers,  _

_ I know what this must seem like, but this isn’t a suicide note. You’re probably wondering why I did what I did. It’s because I knew I was too scared to go back. And if we weren’t together? If all of us alive weren’t united? I knew we’d all die. So, I made the only logical move. I took myself off the board. Did it work? Well, if you’re reading this, you know the answer. I’ve lived my whole life afraid. Afraid of what would come next. Afraid of what I might leave behind. Don’t be. Be who you want to be. Be proud. And if you find someone worth holding on to, never, ever, let them go. Follow your own path, wherever that takes you. Think of this letter as a promise.  _

_ A promise I’m asking you to make. To me. To each other. An oath. See, the thing about being a loser is, you don’t have anything to lose. So… Be true. Be brave. Stand. Believe. And don’t ever forget, we’re losers, and we always will be. _

_ -Stanley _

“Richie?” Beverly said it at the same time as Eddie. Richie didn’t realize he had started crying until a drop fell onto the paper. With trembling hands, he wordlessly handed it to Eddie, watching him read for a moment before speaking into the phone. 

“I miss him, Bevvy.”

“I do too Richie. I cried for like an hour after reading it. I figured I should check and make sure you and Eddie got it.”

“Rich, what the fuck?” Eddie was clearly just as effected, his lips quivering before biting down on them. “I was not ready for this.”

“Neither was I.” Richie let out a wet laugh, wiping his face with the back of his hand. “But you know he wouldn’t care.”   
  


“How is he? How’s Eddie doing?” Bev laughed with them, her voice still soft.

“He’s holding up. Wounds are looking mighty fine.” He winked over at Eddie, who glared at him from behind the paper.

“And how are you?” 

“Well I was enjoying some reality tv, but now I’m sitting on the floor, crying like a little bitch.”

  
“Of course you were. Can Eddie hear me?”

He shook his head before realizing he was an idiot. “Uh, no.”

“Good. I think you should listen to the letter.”

“What?”

“C’mon hun, I know you’re smart.” She hummed. “You hated yourself for not telling Eddie how you felt before he died, now’s your chance. Read it again Richie. Stan is talking to you.”

He quickly grabbed the letter from Eddie and ran to his room, slamming the door behind him. “Bev, I can’t. It’s going to fuck everything up. I can’t when he still needs me.”

“Listen to me, I promise you everything is going to be fine. You can’t let this keep eating you alive, you deserve to be happy.”

“I can’t, I can’t.” He was crying again, sitting down on his bed to relieve his shaking legs.

“Read it again, Richie.”

Despite being a wreck, he lifted the paper back up and read the same lines over and over. The lines that Stan was telling him in his head.  _ Be true. Be brave. Be true. Be brave. Be true. Be brave.  _ “I have to go Bev, talk to you soon.” He hung up before she could answer, and he just looked at the mirror on his wall for a long time. “Be true… Be brave…” 

His leg was bouncing up and down, lungs gasping for air. “Stop thinking so much.” He scolded himself, reaching for his phone again and opening twitter. He had a ton of notifications, asking where he was, if he was okay, why he missed a bunch of shows. His team had put out a statement saying that he had a family emergency and that all tickets would be refunded in full. There were people who were understanding, and there were people who were angry.

Suddenly, the weight on his chest lifted as he realized that there was no winning, and for some reason that was comforting. Again, he just shrugged his shoulders, staring himself down in the mirror and saying “Fuck it! Fuck it, I’m true, I’m brave!” He clicked on the video button and lifted the phone to his face before pressing record.

“Oh shit, it’s actually recording. Okay, okay. Deep breaths. Alright, first things first. I’m really sorry for having to cancel some shows, as you all may know by now, I had an emergency back home and had to take some time off. I can’t go into too much detail, but to sum it up, some crazy shit went down. I know, I’m a shithead but let’s be real, that’s why you bought tickets to see me in the first place.” He smiled at his camera before taking a few deep breaths. “But that’s not all. I’ve also taken this time to reflect a little bit on myself and my career. No, I’m not quitting comedy or anything like that but I’m gonna change things up. I’m just gonna come clean and say it, my material hasn’t been mine. It’s a script given to me with things that the audience is guaranteed to eat up. And you did, and I really appreciate the support but it’s not me. I’m not a racist, and I don’t hate women. All of my degrading jokes about different races and genders are not written by me, and while some of them are  _ hilarious _ , I don’t condone any type of hate. I know a lot of you women out there hate the jokes about my girlfriend, but you’ll be glad to hear that those are all fake too.” 

He hesitated for only a split second before blurting the rest out. “Because I’m gay! Woah, it feels so weird to say it out loud, but it’s true! I’m super homo and I really like dick! It’s crazy, I know, men are just really doing it for me these days. And trust me this isn’t some prank or joke. I really am strictly dickly, but I’m still the same trash mouthed asshole. Next time I’m on stage, you’ll be hearing my own jokes, and they will be so much better. So if you hated me for the old me, hopefully, you’ll give me a chance. And if you hate me for the new me, you can suck my dick. Especially if you’re a guy because once again, I’m very gay. I hope that really pisses off all of the homophobes out there. Be true and be brave, I love you all.” He ended the recording with a smile and posted it with the caption  _ I’m back and proud bitches. _

It was like his mind split in two. Half of his brain was in full panic mode.  _ What the fuck what the fucking fuck Richie, what the fuck did you just do???  _ But the other half was almost abnormally calm.  _ We did the right thing, we are fine, everything is okay. _

For what seemed like forever, half of him waited for the world to end, while the other half waited to transcend into a more relaxed plane of existence. He hesitantly checked his phone after a few minutes, immediately crying at the replies. He was blown away by how many people had replied and retweeted his video with rainbow flags and hearts, but a few replies caught his eye.

**@BenHandscom** ✓

We love you Richie <3

**@BevMarsh** ✓

You are so so so loved. I’m so proud of you, always!

**@BillDenbrough** ✓

Time for a celebration! Check your texts :)

He smiled at all of the replies, including the ones from fans that were confused as to how all four knew each other. Like Bill requested, he checked his messages and they were filled with texts from a ton of people. His comedy team, for the most part, were all supportive, and only his publicist was frustrated that he hadn’t come to her first but he didn’t care. Some from other comedians flooded in, mostly with congratulations and more rainbow flag emojis with hearts. He opened the group chat with the losers, and of course it was only more nice things.

Big Bill: Trashmouth, that was awesome, way to go!

Bevvy: I know I said it already, but I love you and I’m so proud. Just know that I didn’t mean to push you to out yourself to the WORLD right this instant, but I’m glad you did.

Mikey: So happy for you, I hope you’re really happy!

Benjamin: Good for you man, I’m only slightly offended that Bev knew first.

Richie: Thanks guys :,) and shut it Benny boy, I told her without even thinking really… 

Bevvy: Hey!

Richie: Love you all, thank you so much for the support. You’re safe now Bev, the men in this chat are fair game now >:)

Mikey: I love you too but I’ll pass

Big Bill: Beep Beep Tozier. You’re cool but you’re not my type.

His calm and collected nature was brutally broken by his door swinging open and Eddie nearly tumbling in. “Jesus Eds, are you  _ trying _ to give me a heart attack?”

“You’re gay?” The words out of Eddie’s mouth were almost shocked, and it made Richie feel violently ill all of a sudden. 

“I-I…”

“You’re trending on twitter man! What the hell!” Eddie started pacing the room, his mouth moving a mile a minute as usual. “I mean, I’m really happy for you, I hope you know that. But where did that come from? I didn’t even know and all of a sudden you’re coming out on Twitter? I don’t know why I’m surprised actually, this is a very ‘Richie Tozier’ way to come out. I just- what the hell did Bev tell you? Was it Stanley’s letter? Why?”

“Are you mad? I can’t tell.” He was smiling but on the inside he felt the need to vomit rise steadily. 

“Mad? Richie why the fuck would I be mad? Of course I’m not mad idiot!” Eddie finally stopped pacing and hooked one finger into his shirt, pulling it away from his chest like it was hard to breathe. 

“I don’t know, I’m just- gay? Still feels weird to say it out loud. I just want to make sure you’re comfortable with the fact that I’m into guys.” His voice was starting to shake under Eddie’s strong stare. “Please Eds, just say something-”

“Me too.”

Out of everything that Eddie could’ve said, Richie was not expecting  _ that _ . “What?”

“Me too.” Eddie said again, his own voice faltering. “I’m into guys too.” 

Richie choked on his own spit, holding in a gag. “Eddie, please.  _ Please _ don’t fuck with me right now.” He stood up, his head feeling fuzzy as he backed up. “Please.” He begged.  _ I’m dreaming. _

“I’m not fucking with you!” Now Eddie was crying, his voice desperate. “I don’t know if I’m gay or whatever, but I just wanted you to know that… you aren’t alone, I guess. Richie?  _ Richie- _ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to leave you on a cliffhanger but our boys are fucking cute! As always, I hope you enjoy! Kudos and comments are always appreciated <3 I love responding to you guys :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie shrugged and mimicked zipping his mouth shut. “Enough about me, how uh… how are you handling it? Everything, I mean.”
> 
> Eddie’s suddenly distant gaze scared him but then he laughed. “Do you have time for me to rant for a while?”
> 
> “I always have time for you Eds.”
> 
> Richie and Eddie have some talking to do. So do Richie and his parents. And Richie and Bev and Ben...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: angst and feels

_ “Richie!” _

He didn’t know how long he’d been on the floor, but his head was throbbing intensely. Eddie was hovering over him again, shaking his shoulders lightly. “Richie, get up or I’m calling an ambulance.”

“Don’t.” He groaned in response, shifting to sit up with the help of Eddie’s strong arms. “Sorry- I don’t know what happened. I’m good, I’m good.” 

“I told you I like men and you fainted.” Eddie put on a small smile as he helped Richie up, but he could feel his quick pulse through his wrist. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Richie sat back onto his bed with a groan. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing, I didn’t mean to stress you out more than you already were.” Eddie sat next to him, looking down at his hands where he was fiddling with his fingers. They sat like that for a few minutes, like time was standing still and the only noise filling the room was the occasional sigh or hum. That is until Richie broke it, go figure.

“I think this is the longest I’ve ever been quiet.” He laughed, pulling one from Eddie as well.

“You just had to ruin it. I was beginning to like you more.” He lifted his gaze a bit to meet Richie’s. “Now I’ll just have to go back to hating you.”

“That’s homophobic.”

“Wouldn’t it be more homophobic if I started treating you differently? You’re still the same Richie aren’t you? Still the same dumbass that we all love?” Eddie’s face was smug and Richie had to physically restrain himself from leaning into his lips, so close in distance already.

“Yep, still the same dumbass. If you think this means the ‘your mom’ jokes are stopping, you’re mistaken, my good sir!” 

“Oh fantastic. At least there won’t be any ‘your dad’ jokes.” He squinted at Richie’s growing grin. “Don’t get any fucking ideas.”

Richie shrugged and mimicked zipping his mouth shut. “Enough about me, how uh… how are you handling it? Everything, I mean.”

Eddie’s suddenly distant gaze scared him but then he laughed. “Do you have time for me to rant for a while?”

“I always have time for you Eds.”

“Fine, you asked for it.” Eddie took a deep breath before starting. “It’s been a lot Richie. IT almost killed us. I almost fucking died and the first thing I wanted to do was run away back to New York. It’s so pathetic and I know I said I felt like a new man after nearly dying but I still felt so weak. Part of me still does, and I just can’t believe that I wanted to go back, to my shitty job, to  _ her _ . That’s why I had Bev stay while I called Myra, I just needed someone to understand what that’s like. I told her about Myra, and that I liked guys and I wanted to tell the rest of you but I was just so scared. I forgot what it felt like to be that scared.” His voice was wavering and he clenched his fists. “How the fuck did I forget about Derry, about  _ you _ ? And I don’t give a shit that you’re gay Richie. Hell, it feels so good to know that I’m not alone. I almost forgot that I even felt this way if I’m being honest, but it was always there. In the back of my head. God, when I came back it was like I remembered what it was like to be Eddie Kaspbrak. And I didn’t want to lose that. Or you guys. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you didn’t invite me to stay with you…”

“There was no way in hell I was leaving you alone Eds.” Richie gripped his hand and squeezed it. “You know you’re welcome to stay as long as possible, I like having you here. And you know what, I’ll help you with whatever you need, you just say the word. I’ll help you get your stuff from Myra, we’ll get you free of these bandages in no time, we can go job hunting since you’re so stubborn about going back to work. Shit Eddie, I’ll even help you become a doctor like you always wanted. Don’t look at me like that, it’s not too late. I mean look at me, I’m finally gonna write my own material, and I’m like super gay. It’s not too late to start over, trust me on that.”

Eddie chuckled softly, squeezing Richie’s hand back. “I don’t deserve you Richie. It actually feels so weird to have someone who  _ actually _ loves me.”

“I do.” Richie breathed.  _ More than you know _ . “And you deserve everything Eddie. You’re so brave dude, and you really are loved. By all of us, fuck your job and fuck Jabba the Hutt.”

“I love you too, Rich.”

“Awe shucks, you’re making me blush.” He drawled in a terrible accent, a real blush actually creeping up his neck and his heart beating in his eardrums. “Stop being so nice, I want mean Eddie back.”

“You’re a dumbass.”

“There he is.” Richie wrapped his arms around Eddie as he leaned into his chest. “Are you going to hurt me if I hug you?”

“I’ll let this one slide.” He wrapped his arms back around Richie’s torso, his hot breath sending sparks down the taller man’s neck. “Just don’t squeeze me too hard.”

Richie laughed, holding him close for a few seconds and relishing the moment. “Hey, maybe we should pay Beverly for being such a good therapist.”

“After all of this shit maybe we should get  _ real _ therapists.” He backed away to Richie’s dismay, standing up and pointing to Richie’s bed. “You’re phone is ringing. You have hot men calling already? You came out, what, ten minutes ago?”

Richie rolled his eyes at him playfully but nearly passed out again when he read  _ Maggie Tozier _ on the caller ID. “I’m gonna throw up.” He squeaked out as bile rose in his throat, watching as Eddie’s face contorted. 

“Don’t you dare.” Eddie sat back down on the bed quickly, rubbing Richie’s back. “If you throw up on me I swear-”

“It’s my mom.” Richie was already hyperventilating. “I can’t do this right now… Eds I can’t.”

“It’s okay, just breathe.” His hands still trailed the length of Richie’s back soothingly. “You don’t have to answer it if you’re not ready… but I think you should. You came out to the world Richie, you did the hardest part already.”

“I didn’t even consider  _ this _ part. God, I’m such an idiot. What if she-”

Eddie didn’t even let him finish the dreadful thought. “Maggie was always cool, even I remember that. Either way, all of your friends support you so what every happens so… just know that.”

The phone went silent as he spoke, but started to ring again immediately. Richie held it in his hand with his finger hovering over the screen. Eddie watched his movements carefully. “Do you want me to leave?”

“No.” Richie was practically begging through labored breaths. “Please don’t leave.” He looked down again at the buzzing phone shaking his hands.  _ Be true. Be brave. _

“Mom?”

“Richard Tozier.” Her voice was stern. “Are you  _ trying _ to give your poor mother a heart attack? You promised to call when you landed in Derry, then you stop answering for weeks! I had to actually look on twitter to see if you were alive!”

“I’m sorry.” He was crying already, gripping Eddie’s hand so tightly he was afraid he was hurting him. “I’m really sorry.”

“There were reports of you being in a hospital, there are pictures of Neibolt crumbling down,  _ please _ tell me you weren’t in there.”

“I was, I’m sorry.” He said again.

“My lord Richie, didn’t I tell you to stay out of there when you were little? Are you alright? Why were you in the hospital? If you got yourself hurt I swear I will go over there and grab you by the ear like I used to-” She was interrupted by a harsh sob shooting out of Richie’s mouth. He removed his hand from Eddie’s and quickly covered his mouth, shaking into his palm.

“Richie, sweetie, what’s wrong?” Her voice was back at her soft, gentle tone that he grew up with. “What’s happening, you’re getting me worried. I’m too old to be worrying.”

“I’m gay.” He sobbed out again, feeling spit build up in his mouth. “I’m sorry,  _ fuck _ .” Eddie quickly got up and grabbed the small bin from the corner of his room, placing it next to Richie. 

“Richard, listen to me. Calm down, you’re going to make yourself sick.” Her voice was still soft, and she waited a few seconds before continuing. “I love you, my sweet boy. My sweet sweet boy. Stop saying sorry, please, you’re hurting my heart.”

“You’re not mad?”

“Of course I’m not mad! Did you ever see us look down on any sexuality? Me and your father taught you to be kind to everyone and to be accepting. Us Tozier’s practice what we preach.”

“Does dad know?” He sniffled, clenching his eyes at an oncoming headache.

“The whole internet knows honey.” She let out a small laugh. “He’s right here.”

“Rich.” His dad’s voice came through the phone. “I’m so glad you’re okay, never scare us like that again. And we love you son, never doubt that.”

Richie’s body shook and he let out a shaky laugh. “I love you guys too.”

“Facetime me so I can see your handsome face.” His mom was already calling him again, and Richie wiped his face of tears before picking up. “There’s my boy.”

Eddie tried to mind his own business but he peered over Richie’s shoulder to get a glimpse of Maggie Tozier. Obviously, she was older than the last time Eddie had seen her, but she still looked very similar. Her head had grey hairs laced with her chestnut locks, and she had far more wrinkles than when they were kids. Despite her clearly aged looks. She was still a beautiful woman.

Wentworth Tozier appeared next to her on the screen, smiling at his son. His once dark black hair now was completely peppered black and grey. Like his wife, he had aged very well. “I was half expecting your face to be banged up. Why were you in the hospital?”

“I-uh. We were in the Neibolt house.”

“We? Who is we?”

“I went back to Derry to meet with the losers. Do you remember them?”

“Losers?” It was apparent that the losers weren’t the only ones that forgot things when they left Derry. “That sounds familiar actually.”

“Yeah, all of us from Derry. Anyway, we just went to places we used to visit as kids. Bad timing I guess.”

“Oh my goodness, you were with more people?” His mother gasped at the screen. “Is everyone okay?”

“We are now. I was in the hospital with Eddie… do you remember him?” His eyes moved from his phone to Eddie himself, who was sitting quietly with his eyes glued to the phone in Richie’s hands. Maggie furrowed her brows in confusion until her face lifted up in shock.

“Eddie? Little Eddie Kaspbrak!” She looked at her husband. “Honey, do you remember Eddie and Sonia Kaspbrak?”

“I certainly do now.” He chuckled, nodding. “I can’t believe we could forget that fanny pack.” All three of the Tozier’s laughed at that, and Richie caught the smile forming on Eddie’s face beside him.

“What happened, is he alright? Richard if you dragged that boy into that house!”   
  


“Hey, he went in on his own free will. Kind of. But he’s okay now… he’s actually staying with me while he recovers.”

“What? Where? Where is he? Let me see!” His parents nearly fought over the phone, making Richie laugh before looking over at Eddie for permission. Eddie nodded and straightened his body, smiling to the screen.

It took the Tozier’s a moment to process his face before Wentworth broke out in a big grin and Maggie’s jaw dropped. “Eddie Kaspbrak?”

“Yes ma’am.” He nodded sheepishly. 

“Oh my goodness.” Her mouth was quivering and she looked suddenly very emotional. “You are a man.”

All of the men laughed at that. “I would say so.” He chuckled softly, glancing at Richie from the corner of his eye. “It’s been a while.”

“Too long.” She agreed, trying to keep her composure. “You were always my favorite.”

“Wow.” Richie snorted, turning the screen back to him momentarily. “That’s homophobic.”

“Quiet Richard put Eddie back on. How are you? You were hurt?” Richie knew how much Eddie hated those kinds of questions since it was all his mother ever asked him, but this was different. Eddie was smiling, so hard it looked like it hurt. As a kid he always craved a mother like Maggie, and after all these years she still cared for him like he was her own. 

“I was, but I’m almost back to new. Richie has been taking very good care of me.”

“Thank the lord.” She sighed. “If he starts slacking let me know and I’ll handle it.”

“Jesus, when did this become fuck Richie Tozier day?” Richie nudged Eddie’s arm gently, earning him one back.

“I’m so happy all of your friends are back together. I want all of you coming to visit soon, especially you Eddie.” Wentworth’s face filled the screen more.

Both boys nodded, but there was a thicker tension in the air; an unspoken truth. _ All of us back together except Stan. _

“I promise we will. I’ll talk to you guys later, we should probably go.” Richie rubbed his throbbing forehead during the silence. “And thank you. For everything, I love you guys.”

“We love you.” Maggie blew a kiss at the screen and her husband nodded. “And Eddie too. Eddie we love you! You handsome man, look how big you’ve grown.”

“Alright, back off mom he’s mine.” Richie said under the guise of a joke. Eddie slapped him, earning a chuckle from behind the screen.

“We know. Bye Rich.”

“Bye…”

Richie let his arm drop down beside him onto the bed, and he took several long deep breaths. “Hey.” Eddie’s voice was soft beside him. “I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks Eds.” He shot him a small smile. “I feel better now.”

“Congrats again.” Eddie stood back up, straightening out his shirt. “I’m gonna go watch some more shitty reality tv and take a nap or something. Care to join?”

“Is that a date?”

“I’m gonna hit you.”

“Hey now! I’ll be there in a sec, I’m gonna call a few more people first.” Richie held his hands up in defense as Eddie glared at him, watching him retreat back to the living room. Once he heard the footsteps disappear he closed the door and fumbled with his phone again.

“Richie-”

“Bevvy I need advice.” He said quickly into the phone, bouncing his knee up and down. 

“Is this about being gay or Eddie?”

“Uh, both? Same thing right?” Richie chuckled nervously, trying to control his heart rate.

“Touche.” She laughed back, clicking her tongue. “What do you need advice with?”   
  


“Everything. I just came out to the world, which is scary as hell but everyone’s been really nice. My parents called, even they are okay with it.”

“I told you so!”

“Yeah but what you didn’t tell me was that Eddie also likes guys!” He whisper yelled, careful to not let Eddie hear. “I know its not your place to tell people but I won’t lie and say I’m not offended that he told you first…”

“So did you Richie!” She giggled. “You both told me kind of in the moment to be fair. He did say he wanted to tell you.”

“What else did he say Bev? I need to know everything before I fuck this up! You know what, put Ben on the phone. He has decades of experience pining over a friend.” He heard shuffling on the other side of the phone and an exchange of laughter.

“Hi Richie.” Ben’s voice came through, and Richie could hear the smile on his face. “Congrats on being gay and everything.”

“Thanks Benny, we sadly can’t all be as straight as you.”

“So what’s up? Bev says you finally realized that you’re in love with Eddie.”

“Actually Benjamin-” Richie hissed, rubbing his head. “-just to be clear, I’ve always known. It’s just that now circumstances are a little different. I mean, Jesus, he nearly died. I don’t know if I would’ve been able to live with myself if he died without me ever getting to tell him.”

“So… why don’t you tell him?” Ben chuckled like it was obvious.

“It’s not that easy! You of all people should know that!”

“Pretty sure I was more forward than you. I wrote her a goddamn poem  _ and _ I kissed her. Not to brag man, but get on my level!”

“Help him babe.” Bev giggled from beside him.

“Oh great, you two have already started with the pet names. What’s next, excessive flirting? I’m gonna puke.”

“Really Richie? You really wanna talk about excessive flirting? How many nicknames do you have for Eddie again-”

“Shut your whore mouth Ben.” He couldn’t help but laugh at his own ridiculousness. “Fine. You’re right. I just- don’t know what to do. God I know this isn’t middle school but what if he just doesn’t feel that way about me?”

“Yeah right.” Ben snorted. “Eddie looks at you like you hung the moon. I mean, I don’t know if he likes guys but let’s just say that if he did it wouldn’t be a surprise.”

“Are you saying you get a gay vibe from him? Wait a minute… did you get a gay vibe from me?”

“I got a  _ Eddie-Kaspbrak-Is-My-World _ vibe from you.”

“Oh same!” Bev chimed in.

“We are getting off topic.” Richie mumbled, flustered. “What do I do Ben? How do I tell him that I’ve been madly in love with him since we were kids and that I had a second sexual crisis just seeing him after two decades?”

“I know this isn’t what you wanted to hear Rich, but I can’t really help you. It took me just as long to get Bev after trial and error. Yeah I wrote a sappy poem but that isn't you. You need to tell him in your own trashmouth way.”

“We are not a fair comparison. You got hot and I did not.” Richie sighed, shutting his eyes hard. “I did actually do something a little more… cheesy. Just no one knows about it.”

“Oh God Richie what did you do?”

“Well you remember that fight I had with Bill and he punched me in the face? And Eddie hurt his arm? I actually went to the kissing bridge after and carved R+E into the wood-”

“Shut up, no you didn’t!” They both laughed.

“I’m dead serious. And when I left Eddie at the hospital to grab our stuff from the inn I may have… went back and carved over it.”

“That’s- actually really sweet.” Ben’s voice was gentle, and he was also probably smiling.

“Definitely the gayest shit I’ve ever done-”

“Beep Beep Richie.” Bev scolded. “Don’t ruin the sweetness.”

“Whatever.” He huffed. “Thanks for nothing you losers. Go back to being your gross straight selves. Sorry, I’m deflecting. What I really mean is thanks for listen to me ramble about how gay and in love I am.”

“No problem man.” Ben was most certainly smiling now, Richie could hear it. “Tell Eddie we say hi, I’m putting Bev back on now.”

“Do your thing sweetheart.” She said immediately. “I don’t think you have anything to worry about. Just like before.” Her voice implied something, but it only made Richie more anxious.

“Thanks Bevvy. Love ya, bye.” Richie wished he could say he went out to the living room right after the call ended and confessed everything to Eddie. But he didn’t. He went back out there and continued to watch reality shows which quickly turned into him watching Eddie watch reality shows. He loved the way Eddie’s lips would curl into a smirk when something dramatic or cringey happened, and his heart would skip when he’d let out an occasional laugh.

Richie wished he’d been brave, but for once in his life he couldn’t bring himself to open his mouth. A week went by and to Eddie’s delight, he was able to fully shower and sleep without the bandages. Richie refused to admit it, but he kind of missed having to change Eddie’s bandages. He still helped Eddie rub scar cream on his back though, and Eddie was able to tolerate looking at the raised skin on his chest after several times of Richie insisting that it didn't make him ugly.

Eddie spent most of his free time job hunting despite Richie telling him that it was way too soon for him to start stressing over work. He didn’t have as many nightmares as Richie, but they happened more than either of them liked. He still had some healing to do, physical and mental.

They both did, but Richie got better at stopping his mind from wandering mostly by writing. It took him a few days of being back to gain the confidence, but eventually he got to writing a script for his new material. The losers all made plans to meet at least once by the end of the month, and Richie insisted that they should all come to his redemption comedy show. They were all excited, and his fans on Twitter were very supportive, but the only person Richie cared about impressing was the man sitting next to him.“Stop asking me to hear every single joke.” Eddie laughed, crossing his arms and leaning back on the couch. “You’re spoiling the entire thing.”

“C’mon just one more Eds!”

“I don’t even know why you keep asking me. You’re funny Rich, stop overthinking every joke.”

“Did Edward Kaspbrak just admit that I, Richie Tozier, am funny?” Richie smirked, raising an eyebrow.

“Nope, not sure where you heard that. You’re not funny at all. Must have been all in your head.” As soon as the words left his mouth, Richie froze. A familiar and hated racing of his heart entered his chest, and he felt the room start to spin.  _ Must have been all in your head _ . Richie started to panic when he didn’t feel any air enter his lungs as he took in a shaky breath.

_ Is  _ **_this_ ** _ all in my head? _

Flashes of the deadlights and his frequent nightmares hit him like a truck. Eddie laughed briefly before widening his eyes at Richie’s genuinely horrified expression. “Jesus Richie I’m joking.”

  
“Stop.” Richie stood up abruptly. “What did you just say?”

“Woah, calm down. What the hell are you talking about-”

“About it being in my head Eddie! Are you in my head, huh?”   
  


“What are you talking about?” Eddie repeated, standing up too. “Richie what’s going on?”

Richie felt his heart about to nearly explode.  _ Please no, please no. _ “What’s going on? Eddie you can’t just say that shit- I… I’m so losing it.”

“Dude you are funny, I didn’t mean-”

“Not about that dipshit! About it-  _ this _ being in my fucking head.” Richie rubbed his hands over his face. “Everyday we are doing this, just sitting on the couch, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll blink and we’ll be back in that fucking cave. I haven’t been able to sleep… It feels like I’m losing my mind.”

“Is this what the nightmares are about? Damnit Rich, I told you that you should start seeing someone about those!” Eddie flailed his hands up into the air. “You’re not in the deadlights, I’m right here. How the hell could you still be in the deadlights? I’m alive right in front of you, so what is it? I’m sorry, but whatever Pennywise showed you isn’t real so just please calm down!”

“That’s what I’m terrified of Eds!” Richie raised his voice, startling Eddie a bit. “I fucking wish that what he showed me was real! You wanna know why? Because he showed me this!” He gestured to the space between them. “It wasn’t you or any of us dying, it was just  _ us  _ Eddie, having a good time like we are now. It’s so fucked up but I totally wish IT showed me you dying instead. At least I would know that we are past that and it’s fake cause you're alive, but dammit, I saw us together Eddie. Like  _ together together _ . And that fucking clown knew exactly what he was doing too because he knew that I was gay, and he knew how much I love you.”

“Richie stop.”   
  


“No it’s too late, I can’t stop now because if I do I’ll hate myself. I was ready to  _ die _ down there with you man, leaving you there just wasn’t an option. It almost killed me to know that you could’ve died without knowing that I’m so goddamn in love with you!” Richie’s voice was breaking. “Fuck, I just need you to know that regardless of if this is in the deadlights or not-” He interrupted himself with a choked out noise. “-and it’s okay Eds, it’s okay if you don’t feel that way about me back. Everything is okay as long as you are alive and happy. That’s all I ever wanted, and it’s all I need now. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to tell you like this but I’m sort of fucking losing it here!”

Eddie stared at him, looking like a kicked puppy and it made Richie feel sick. “How long?” Eddie’s voice was quiet and the question only made Richie more confused and panicked. “How long have you been in love with me?” He clarified, seemingly emotionless.

Richie just stared back at him for a hot second before laughing darkly. “Like forever. I swear even after Derry when I forgot, I never  _ really _ forgot. You were always there in the back of my head I just didn’t know… Eds? Where are you-” He didn’t get to finish before Eddie swiveled around and quickly walked out of the room. He stood there, completely frozen, hearing the door to Eddie’s room open and various sounds of things being tossed around.

_ Good job Rich. You managed to not only fuck up any shot you remotely had of being with Eddie Kaspbrak, but you ruined your entire friendship. All of these years are gone because of you. You deserve this, now watch him pack his shit and leave you. You’ll be alone again like you’re always going to be. _

Eddie turned around the corner again and halted. “Richie please- please relax.” Richie didn’t even notice that he was shaking with tears rolling down his face.

“Please don’t leave me Eddie.” He choked out. “I’m sorry-”

“Richie stop.” He said again, walking closer to him while taking deep breaths. “Before you say something stupid just look at this.” He shoved a neatly folded piece of paper into Richie’s hands. He sighed at the lost look on his face and opened it for him before placing it into his hands again. “Read it.”

“Wha- what is this?”

“Christ Richie just read it!” Eddie helped guide Richie’s hands to his face. Richie blinked at him a few times, his vision a little blurry even with the help of his glasses. He looked down onto the paper in his hands, smoothing it out a little bit. 

It was a letter, dated about a month ago. Before they had fought Pennywise, and before Eddie had gotten hurt. He took a deep breath and angled the paper so that his fallen tears didn’t hit and smudge the ink. It took him a moment to compose himself before he was able to start reading.

\---------------

_ Losers, _

_ If you are reading this, I probably didn’t make it. Which is somewhat fine, because that also means that at least one of you made it. I’m writing this now as a sort of goodbye I guess, because I’ve never been good at opening up like this. I was hoping I’d be better at writing it down. I’m not sure what is going to happen, so I’m just going to wing it. _

_ Stan, I know you’re not reading this, but we never really got to grieve you. You were always such a good listener, and I want you to know that if Patty ever needs anything, I’d jump at the opportunity to help. We all miss you already, it’ll never be the same without you. _

_ Mike, at first I think I really hated you for calling us all back here. But now I realize how important it was for me. I mean, we would’ve all ended up dead in a few years anyway right? Not if living with a carbon copy of my mother didn’t kill me first. I can’t believe you’ve stayed here in Derry all of these years dude, this town never deserved you and it still doesn’t. I hope you can go to Florida like you’ve always wanted to, hopefully over there deserves you a little bit more. I heard it’s bright, sunny, and full of life there. Just like you. _

_ Bill, I always looked up to you, kind of like you were my protective older brother. But better. You never hesitated to lend me a hand with anything, even when I was being unbearable. I guess that goes for everyone, but you especially were like a hero to me. I cherish everything you’ve ever taught me, mostly about being brave. I always thought you were so cool, still do really. And thanks for not letting me be the only short guy in the group anymore. _

_ Ben, man you really did get hot. Not to like embarrass you or anything, but really, where the hell did that come from? You may look different, but you actually haven’t changed a bit. You’re still that bright eyed, awesome guy I knew 27 years ago. You’re still as kind and gentle as ever, and I can’t thank you enough for the warmness that you’ve always provided me. I’ll miss patching you up, but I think you can handle yourself now. Don’t be too nice to use those big muscles. _

_ Beverly. I think you are the only girl I’ve ever truly loved. I know, I’m married but I think you of all people would understand that marriage doesn’t really constitute love. Knowing that as a kid I wasn’t the only one with a deranged parent really helped me. More than you know. I hope I was able to make you feel less alone too. You are the most kind hearted and badass woman I know, and I truly deeply hope that you find happiness. Pretty sure there’s a certain loser that can give you that, but I would take my love advice with a grain of salt. You’re just the best, as always. _

_ Richie Trashmouth Tozier, where do I even begin. I really don’t have the words to express how much you’ve always meant to me. How much those stupid jokes and horrible nicknames meant to me. To me, a small kid who really had nobody to rely on. But then you came into my life, and to this day, you are probably the most reliable person I know. You are such a treasure, and I want you to know that you always have an extra special place in my heart. You were always my favorite, sorry guys, but not that it was a secret. Richie will always be my #1, and at this point I don’t care if him knowing boosts his obnoxious ego. But Rich, really, thank you for everything. You mean the world to me and your dumbass probably doesn’t even know it. I love you Trashmouth, more than I love fucking your mom. Forever your Eds. _

_ I don’t know what’s going to happen. I don’t want you guys to die and I don’t want to die. But I do want everyone to know that I’m happy to die for any and all of you if it means you’ll make it out okay. I really hope we win, because if we all die I’ll be pissed that I wrote this letter for nothing. I already got ink on my shirt so I swear to God, I really will be mad. I’ll kick all of your asses post death, I promise you.  _

_ We have the greatest group in the world, and even though we forgot that for a while, I wouldn’t trade anything for getting to see you all again. Even if it might be for the last time. _

_ Love you all _

_ Eddie _

_ \--------------- _

“Eddie-”

“I wrote it before I left to get my inhaler.” Eddie’s voice was shaking a bit, his feet shuffling on the floor beneath him. “I almost threw it away after I found it in my suitcase when we got here. I’m surprised no one found it. I- I wanted to leave something just in case.”

“Jesus Eds.” Richie's voice was a hoarse whisper.

“I meant every word Rich. I know it’s cheesy but I didn’t want to die without telling you. I wish I had been a little more forward but I didn’t want to freak out the others by professing my love to you in the same letter I wrote to them.” 

Richie was uncharacteristically silent. “Can I show you something more cheesy than that?” 

“I swear to God if you open the fridge and ruin this moment I’m going to fight you.”

Richie laughed lightly, switching the letter for the phone is his pocket. He wiped his face with the back of his hand and opened up his photos. “Here, look.” He held the phone out to Eddie and felt his heart flutter when he squinted at the photo. 

“R + E?”

“Richie plus Eddie.” Richie’s voice was still a little shaky. “Remember that fight me and Bill had the summer of IT? It was after you hurt your arm and Bill punched me in the face. I went to the old kissing bridge and carved our initials like a tool. Flash forward 27 years, you were still in the hospital and I went to grab our stuff from the inn… I went back and carved it over again.”

Eddie took the phone with his other hand and zoomed in on the picture, exhaling slow little breaths out of his nose as he studied it. “Wow.”

“Is wow good or bad?” He laughed nervously. “You’re killing me here.”

“Did I not just comment on how I was planning on professing my love for you in my letter?”

“Can you just tell me if you like me or not!”

“For fucks sake Richie,  _ yes _ . We’ve been friends forever, of course I  _ like _ you.” He shook his head and snorted at Richie’s dumbfounded face. “I’m in love with you back, dumbass. There, are you happy now? If this whole episode was just a way to get me to admit it-”

“I’m flattered that you think I’m that smart, Eddie, really.” He waved the letter in front of his face. “And I can’t believe that you made a joke about fucking my mom in this. I’m totally showing her.”

“You are absolutely not showing her that, I’ll kill you.”

“Oh I am. Ramifications for calling me names.” Richie held it above Eddie’s head out of his reach. “I can’t wait to see the look on her face when she realizes you aren’t as innocent as you look.”

“I take everything back, I hate you.”

“I love you.” Richie blurted out, ignoring Eddie’s surprised look. “Like really love you Eddie. And I’m sorry that it took me so long to say it out loud. Fuck I’m so in love with you, like in a borderline obsessed way. But not in a creepily obsessed way… I’m just obsessed with making you laugh and smile and get pissed off at my jokes.”

“Oh my god, stop.” Eddie’s face was beat red and Richie could feel his heat from where he was standing a couple of feet away. “I don’t know why I like you, you have too big of a mouth. DO NOT make a gross joke.”

Richie just smiled at him and let the letter fall onto the coffee table. “You’re really here right? I didn’t pass out a few minutes ago? This is real right?”

“Pretty sure you’re awake.” Eddie smiled back at him. “I’m here, I promise.”

“Okay good. Great. Solid.”

“And I’m not dead right?” Eddie asked, raising an eyebrow. It never occurred to him that this could all be in his head as he still laid there dying.

“God I hope not. If you were though I’d be right there with you.” Richie took a step closer and extended his arm to caress the faded scar on Eddie’s cheek. “But I think we’re okay now.” Eddie nodded, tilting his head into Richie’s touch and closing the gap between them, allowing Richie to press his lips firmly to his.  _ I think we’re okay now. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, college is a bitch!  
> Hope you enjoyed, please let me know if you'd like me to continue :)  
> And big thanks to everyone who comments and leaves kudos <3 stay tuned!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Let me take you out.” He swallowed thickly. “Like on a date. Let me take you out on a date. Like so we can… date. Maybe? I don’t know what the fuck I’m saying now.” He flushed at Eddie’s muffled laughter. “So whatya say? Wanna date together? Wait hold on-”
> 
> “Richie, shut up.”
> 
> \-----
> 
> Richie and Eddie take a leap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Explicit Content Ahead!

Kissing Eddie was better than breathing. 

It was so easy, and suddenly Richie couldn’t find it in him to care about anything else, even if he was still caught in the deadlights. The way Eddie melted into him made him weak in the knees, making him pull away and lean himself against the wall for support. “Is this okay?” He asked breathlessly, still gently cupping Eddie’s damn near perfect jawline.

“Yeah.” He swallowed thickly under his gaze, those brown doe eyes peering back up, darker than usual. “It’s okay Rich.”

Richie wished that he didn’t say that because it gave him the boost of confidence that he needed to go in for more. That happened Friday. 

Now it was Sunday. After their whole ordeal, they parted ways for the night, leaving the rest of the weekend with awkward silences and hardly any exchanges.

Richie hated it.

He hated how weird they had been acting around each other for the past 46 hours, not that he was counting… but the most he and Eddie talked in that time was to decide what to order for dinner. The rest of the time was spent in their separate rooms, Eddie filling out job applications and Richie working some more on his new material.

“Job hunting in LA sucks.” It almost shocked Richie to hear words come out of Eddie’s mouth, surprised that he was actually speaking to him. 

“Oh- yeah I guess.” He mumbled back, eyeing Eddie carefully as he sat next to him on the couch. He tried to control the heat spreading on his face as he felt intense eyes on him, and he tried his best to ignore it so he could continue typing.

“If I turn on the tv is it going to interrupt you?” 

“Nope.” Richie popped the p, shaking his head.

“Rich?”

Against his own will, Richie couldn’t help but tear his gaze away from his laptop. Eddie sunk his teeth into his bottom lip, and he looked a bit flustered himself. “Can we talk?” He asked sheepishly.

“Sure.” Richie sighed as he shut the laptop, placing it beside him gently so he could turn his upper half towards him. “Is everything okay?”

“With me or with us?”

Richie snorted, shrugging and leaning back further onto the couch. “Can you just say what you’re going to say Eddie? I don’t feel like playing games right now.” He felt bad for the way it came out, but he was frustrated with the man in front of him. Not quite angry, since he felt just as awkward and nervous as he probably did.

Eddie’s eyebrows lowered, and he shoved his tongue to the side of his cheek in a look of annoyance. “First of all, dick.  _ You _ are the one who usually loves to play games. And second, I’m  _ trying _ to say something. I’ve been trying to find the right words to say for the past two days.”

“Then say them.” Richie spit rather coldly, completely out of character. He immediately felt guilty when he saw Eddie’s face fall a little, but he still kept serious eye contact. “What is it? Just rip the bandaid off please, for both of our sake.” He said it with more confidence than he actually felt. The last thing he ever wanted to hear was that everything was a mistake and that it  _ wasn’t _ okay that he kissed Eddie.

“I’m just confused.” He admitted, scratching the back of his neck. “I don’t know what I want anymore-”

“So you thought avoiding me would help you figure it out?”

“Can you let me finish!” If there was one thing Eddie hated, it was being talked over. It was all his mother ever did, and Myra wasn’t any different in that aspect either. “I’m new to all of this man! I’ve never even kissed a guy before you. I don’t know a damn thing when it comes to being intimate with  _ anyone _ let alone a guy. So yeah, I’m sorry if distancing myself hurt your feelings but I’m kind of a mess right now.” He huffed, slowing down his words. “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. I thought you’d understand how that feels.”

Richie swallowed, starting to feel bad. “I do. I don’t want you to feel pressured to do anything Eddie, the last thing I want is to ever make you feel uncomfortable. I just- I want you to be honest with me.”

“I know, I’m just… embarrassed. I didn’t know how to bring this up. It’s weird.” 

“I know.” Richie agreed, a small smile forming on his face. He couldn’t help it with Eddie looking shy and so damn cute. He could never be mad at him for too long. “But you know you can talk to me about anything right? I just want you to know that I’m here for you.”

“Thanks Richie.” He avoided his gaze, looking down to the floor as he leaned back onto the couch too. “And just so you know… I don’t regret what happened. I just- there’s so much that I still don’t know about.”

“It’s okay.” Richie assured him, his face only burning hotter. “It might take a while to get comfortable with it. I was repressed for a while too, I know it’s not easy and I don’t want you to feel like you have to rush yourself for my sake.”

Eddie just nodded, biting down on his lip again. “When did you realize that you were- into guys?”

“Do you want me to be honest?”

“Obviously, shithead.”

“Well I knew something was off when Sammy Thomas kissed me in fifth grade and I wanted to puke. But I always kind of knew, Eds. Especially with you right there, I told you I always had it bad for you. I don’t want to call you my gay awakening but… you kind of were.”

“Really?” He laughed, finally looking back up to meet his eyes. The sound was music to Richie’s ears. “I kind of felt the same way about girls. For the longest I thought it was because my mom always said that if I kissed the girls at school I’d get herpes. I guess she started backtracking when she saw I didn’t like them anyway, so then she started telling me about how other boys would give me AIDS. And that I’d literally  _ die _ if I ever touched a boy.”

“Damn man. She really was a piece of work.”

“Is it bad that I’m relieved she’s gone? It sounds horrible but I’m just glad that I don’t have to go through all of this with her. I’m glad that your parents are cool but we all know that she would lose her mind.” He glared at the air in front of him almost as if he saw her standing there.

“You’re not horrible Eds, she was shit to you. You know that it had nothing to do with you right? She was the sick one.” Richie took a chance and reached for his hand, letting out a hum of relief when he didn’t pull it away. “You have all the support you need around you. And being into guys isn’t sick either, obviously. It’s basically the same as being with a girl, except better. Guys are less complicated I think.”

“Have you been with both?”

Richie nodded and then shrugged. “Kind of. I tried for a while to just be straight. Don’t get me wrong, girls are cute and all but there was just nothing really there you know? Guys just felt better in a way.”  _ But none of them were you. _ “Kind of hard to really explore when you’re a public figure in the closet.”

“Have you had sex with both?”

“Jesus dude!” Richie exhaled harshly, a chuckle vibrating in his chest.

“I’m sorry- that’s none of my business.” Eddie flushed so red he thought he was going to light on fire, not believing the words coming out of his own mouth.

“No it’s okay.” Richie promised, rubbing a thumb over his knuckles. “I have, yeah, but girls are just not for me. It’s hard to explain, guys are just better.” He watched as Eddie processed his words, and he saw the pace of his breathing increase. “So have you?..”

“I’ve only been with girls.” Eddie’s voice was a bit rougher and it made Richie feel dizzy. “I never even considered being with a guy, I don’t know much about it. I think I was just convinced I’d stay married to Myra forever. Not to get into too much detail but we weren’t very… active.”

“Gross Eds.” He stuck his tongue out, genuinely disgusted at the thought of that  _ beast _ getting to have what he’d been dreaming of since he was a kid. “There’s probably a lot of reasons for that.”

“You’d be right.” Even Eddie cringed at the thought. “Can I ask you something personal?”

“You literally just asked me if I’ve boned guys and girls.” He chuckled at the glare Eddie gave him, and he nodded. “You can ask me anything Eddie. Literally _ anything _ .”

“Cool… so what- uh- what do  _ you _ do?” He shifted nervously, his hand starting to get clammy in Richie’s. “You know- like with guys. When you do- it.”

“Oh.” Richie’s breath hitched in his throat and he sat a bit straighter. “Like, while having sex? I- well… I’m usually on top but I’m not completely against bottoming.”

“So you’ve ‘bottomed’ before?”

_ Fuck. _ The words coming out of Eddie’s mouth were enough to make him twitch in his pants. “Well yeah, I experimented a bit… as much as I could at least-”

“How does it feel?” Eddie shifted a bit more and pulled his hand away from Richie to put it back in his lap. “Does it hurt?”

“Well shit, Eddie. Not to get too graphic but it feels pretty great, the prostate feels pretty great.” He felt breathless explaining it. “It doesn’t hurt if you- I don’t know… get warmed up I guess.”

“Kay.” Eddie hummed, looking down at his hands in his lap.

Richie scanned his blushing face, shivering as quick little breaths left his mouth. “Why are you asking me all of this?”

“I just- I’ve never done research on it or anything like that. I was taught that guys doing stuff together is…  _ dirty _ . Not that I think you’re dirty or anything, it’s more like  _ I’d _ be dirty I guess. Again, I kind of just accepted my fate with Myra, I’m still trying to figure this all out.”

“That’s okay man. Sure, all sex is kind of dirty but it’s not you. You’re not dirty. Not in that sick way your mom told you Eddie.” If Sonia Kaspbrak was still alive, Richie would have some pretty harsh words to say to her. “Did you think kissing me was dirty?”

“No!” He said hurriedly. “It’s not you, it’s me. I know it’s all in my head but still… God I’m sorry I’m such a mess.”

“A mess that’s a pretty damn good kisser for someone so inexperienced.”

“I hate you.” He turned his flushed face away. “No, I don’t mean that. I like you Rich, even though you’re an idiot.”

“That’s the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me. Actually it’s pretty sexy too, when you bully me. I’m actually getting kind of turned on-  _ hmph _ !” He was shut up by a firm press of Eddie’s lips on his, too brief for his liking.

“Amazing, now I have a way to shut you up.”

“Fuck Eddie, I will literally shut my mouth for all of eternity if it means we get to do that. I’d actually sell my soul. I’ve wanted this since we were kids.”

“Then do it.” It was almost a challenge.

Richie cupped his face, bringing him closer but he didn’t move any further. “You promise you’re not going to ignore me again after this right?”

Eddie frowned, leaning into his touch again. “Only if you promise to be patient with me.”

“I would wait forever for you.” He breathed out, leaning in to ghost his lips on Eddie’s. “I’d prefer not to since I’ve been waiting since I was literally ten but you get it-”

Eddie shut him up with his mouth again, and Richie could feel a smile on his lips. Now he was certain that kissing Eddie was better than breathing, because he didn’t care that he was basically suffocating against his lips.  _ If this is how I die, this is the way I want to go. _

Thankfully, Eddie made the move to pull away, leaving them both gasping for air. “Eds- Eddie.” Richie panted, leaning his forehead against Eddie’s. “Can I touch you?” 

Eddie shivered against him, shifting next to him. “Only if you get your sweaty forehead off of me. Gross.” He nodded nonetheless, not bothering to hide the growing smirk on his face. Richie was the one smiling once he tackled Eddie onto his back, pulling a yelp from the smaller man’s lips.

“Jesus Richie be careful!”

“Oh c’mon, you’re strong. You can take it, can’t you?”

“My chest-” He began, but paused after running a hand over his shirt, as if remembering that the bandages weren’t there anymore. “Nevermind. I can take it.” His words went right to Richie’s core and he let out an embarrassing little moan, hovering over him.

“I know you can, hot stuff. Just let me know if anything starts to hurt. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable…” His voice trailed off as he leaned a little closer to Eddie, getting jabbed slightly right above the seam of his pants. “Holy fuck Eds, are you-”   
  


“Shut up.” He hissed from beneath him, wiggling and trying to shake the heat from his face. “Get off, you’re heavy.”

“Eds.” He said, a little more darkly. He pressed his body against him again, pinning his body down to test what he swore he felt. “You- you’re  _ hard _ .”

“Oh am I? I didn’t fucking notice.” He spat, continuing his little grunts. “Get off Richie, I can’t move.” His hips wiggling underneath Richie seemed to do nothing but make him more restless.

“When did this happen?” Richie looked beneath them as he lifted his body weight off of him… and sure enough Eddie was sporting a decent tent in his pants. 

Eddie turned his head and slung an arm over his face to hide, his struggle apparent in his voice. “It just happened, I don’t know. Maybe when we started talking about sex…”

“You got turned on hearing about my sexcapades?”

“NEVER use that word ever again. And stop, you’re embarrassing me.” He didn’t even need to say it. His face was beat red and he could hardly look into Richie’s eyes. 

“I’m not trying to embarrass you. It’s not embarrassing I promise.” He dipped his hips down to press against Eddie again, pulling sounds from both of them. “See, I’m hard as fuck too-  _ shit Eddie _ . You’re so hot right now, I promise it’s not embarrassing.”

“Again.” It came muffled out of his mouth.

“Huh?”

“Again, Rich.” Eddie moved his arm away and tilted his head to Richie. “Move again.”

Richie’s brain short circuited, but he lowered his hips to grind against Eddie again, and again, and again. The sweet little whines coming out of Eddie’s mouth was almost too much, and Richie dove back in for his lips to swallow them. His body constricted when Eddie gladly opened his mouth up for Richie’s tongue to lick behind his teeth.

These kisses were way different from before. Before, they were relieved and short kisses, carefully placed and featherlight. This was completely different, each kiss lasted longer and gradually became rougher. Eddie slowly introduced his own tongue into the mix, raising his hips up to meet Richie’s. When they pulled apart occasionally, Richie became dizzy at the sight of Eddie’s flushed face, bruised lips, and tousled hair. He looked completely wrecked, and Richie couldn’t help but move his hands further down Eddie’s body.

“Let me touch you.” He breathed out, surprised at the own roughness of his voice. Eddie responded with a hurried nod, pulling Richie back down to his lips as he fumbled with the drawstrings of his pants. He tugged them down, just enough to reach into Eddie’s boxers.

“Shit, Richie-” He choked out, letting his head drop back at the new sensation of Richie’s hand. “You’re hands are so big-  _ ahh _ ” 

“Do you like my big hands Eds?” He whispered, slowly flicking his wrist. “Christ baby you’re wet.” He used his thumb to swipe up the little drops of precum and moved it onto the rest of him to lessen the friction. “You should probably take your shirt off, you’re going to make a mess.”

“No.” The words were firm out of Eddie’s mouth despite little sighs and whimpers still escaping. “Keep it on.” He grit his teeth whenever his hips would involuntarily twitch. 

“Eddie-”

“Leave it.” He clenched his eyes shut as he thrust his hips to meet Richie’s hand, letting out a groan of frustration when he stopped his movements. “C’mon Richie, don’t be an ass.”

“Take the shirt off Eddie.” Richie’s hand was still paused. “Please, then I’ll give you what you want. Promise.”

“Fine.” He still looked annoyed, but his pupils were just as blown up and he exhaled harshly when Richie’s hand continued its slow movements. He tossed the fabric behind him, leaving his top half exposed. Richie didn’t hesitate to move his hand to the exposed skin, hovering over the newly raised scar that Eddie was so self conscious about. As if he wasn’t perfect.

“You’re so gorgeous Eds, look at you. And this scar is going to be sexy as hell.” He grinded against Eddie’s thigh and thumbed over a nipple, pulling a strangled noise from beneath him.

“Richie  _ please _ .”

“Sorry, sorry.” He smiled at the desperate tone. “Just admiring the view.” He moved his hand back to Eddie’s hard member, gripping it firmly to continue. “You really are so beautiful, no joke.  _ Oh shit _ \- Want me to use my mouth?”

Eddie’s eyes widened, and he bit his lip so hard it almost drew blood. “Not right now, shit, just keep going.” He gripped Richie’s shoulders tightly. “Kiss me.”

He never had to ask. Richie gladly dipped his head back down, resuming the absolutely sinful movements of their lips. He moved his hand faster, focusing on the drawn out flicks of his wrist while still being careful not to crush Eddie with his body weight. Eddie dug his nails into Richie’s clothed shoulders, moving one hand to Richie’s hair.

If the sweat dampening his hair bothered Eddie, he didn’t mention it. Instead, he gave it a good tug to pull Richie’s lips off of his, making Richie growl. “I’m close, Rich.” He squeezed his eyes shut. “Please,  _ God _ -”

“Shh, I’ve got you Eds.” Richie kissed his neck as he shook underneath him.

“Fuck, fuck…” He gripped his hair tightly, spilling over Richie’s hand and onto his stomach. “Holy shit-” He whined as Richie’s hand kept moving, slowing to help him come down from his high.

“Jesus, you look so beautiful. So good for me.” He moved his hips back and forth a few more times before coming to a halt. “Fuck!” He tilted his head up with a shout, gently letting go of Eddie. He let his head fall back down, hovering over Eddie, whose eyes were still clenched shut. Both men stayed completely silent and still, just the sounds of heavy breathing fill in the air. 

Surprisingly, it was Eddie that broke the silence. “Thank you.” It was mumbled with a hint of a smile forming, and it made Richie snicker.

“You’re welcome?”

“Nothing against you, but can you get off? This shit is drying on my stomach and it’s very gross.”

“Yeah… one sec.” Richie shivered as he carefully rolled off of Eddie, standing up awkwardly. “Just stay here, I’ll uh- I’m gonna clean up real fast and then I’ll help you out.”

Eddie snorted, his voice spent and raspy. “Did you jizz your pants? Seriously, how old are you, thirteen?”

“Oh so you’re going to thank me and then insult me? Really nice of you.”

“Shut up and go change. And wash your hands.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Richie stripped of his pants and sticky boxers, tossing them in the bin in his room and stepping into a pair of clean sweatpants. He quickly returned to the couch with a damp rag, feeling Eddie jump when the cold hit his stomach.

“A little warning would’ve been nice.”

“Quit complaining you big baby.” He flicked Eddie’s forehead, receiving an elbow right to his ribs. “Ouch! Now you’re just being mean.”

“Get rid of that so we can lay down.” He pointed to the rag in Richie’s hand with a roll of his eyes. Apparently dropping it onto the floor wasn’t what he meant because he widened his eyes in disgust. “Richie that’s disgust-  _ oomf! _ ” He exhaled roughly as Richie rolled back onto his legs.

“And you say  _ I _ talk too much.” He shifted them both so he was leaning on his side with Eddie’s back pressed against him. “How do you feel?”

“Mm. Tired.”

“Chest and back feel okay?”

“Mhm.”

“Hungry?”

“Richie, let me rest please.” Eddie laughed, shifting back against him. “I will definitely be hungry, but first I really need a nap.”

“Forgive me if I’m freaking out Eds.” Richie huffed, hesitantly resting his hand on Eddie’s bare side. “It’s just that this happened kind of fast. I just… I don’t want you to regret this.”

Eddie sighed, turning over so that his chest was almost flush to Richie’s. “Listen Rich. I’m really sorry that I left you hanging these past two days, I was just scared. I know you say I’m brave but I panicked. I was nervous but I want you to know that even though I was, I never once regretted a thing.”

“You  _ are _ brave.” Richie said in a hushed voice. “You fucking recovered from being shish kabobed and left your wife. You moved from one coast to the other and now you are trying to be open with yourself, that’s pretty fucking brave man.”

“If you didn’t offer to help I’m scared that I wouldn’t have been able to do any of that.”

“You don’t need to be scared anymore. We’re gonna be okay.” Richie gingerly rubbed his hand up and down Eddie’s arm. Eddie’s eyes fell from his face and he stared at his chest for a few minutes of silence. 

“Can I ask you something Rich?”

“Yes, I can give you another handy-”

“Seriously.” Eddie smirked briefly before his lips fell back into a tight line, still not moving his eyes up. “Do you blame yourself for me getting hurt?”

Richie’s grin fell from his face, flashes of Eddie with blood dripping from his mouth, hovering over him. “I don’t know what to say.”

“That’s a first.”

“Really, I don’t.” Richie adjusted himself so he sat up a little more, still holding Eddie tightly. “Part of me realizes that it was no ones fault but that fucking clown’s, but if you died I don’t think I would have ever forgiven myself…”

“I want you to know that there was nothing you could’ve done to stop me. And I’d do it again, every time. Richie-”

“No. Don’t tell me that.” Richie shook the memories from his head. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore okay? I panic too much about it.”

“You’re telling me. I just want you to know that I never for one second blamed you.” Eddie pressed his face into Richie’s shirt, pressing into him tightly. “I’m sorry I brought it up, we don’t have to talk about it anymore. The lesson for today is, one, that I don’t regret anything. And, two, I especially don’t regret doing what I did so there’s no need to blame yourself.”

“Am I dismissed from class now Mr. K?”

“You’re weird.” 

“What’s new?” Richie slowly ran his fingers through Eddie’s soft brown hair, relishing the feeling of his breath warming his chest. “Get some rest, thanks for clearing that all up. We can eat when you wake up.” He stayed completely still so he didn’t bother him, two things that were nearly impossible for him to do. His entire being was centered around not staying still and bothering the absolute shit out of Eddie, but he used every ounce of focus he had to make it happen. Everytime he felt Eddie nestle further in his arms he had to remind himself that he wasn’t in the deadlights, that this was  _ real _ . Or at least he hoped.

Regardless of what was real and what wasn’t, all he wanted was to have Eddie in his arms forever. Even he passed out for a few minutes, carefully resting his nose in Eddie’s hair. Eddie wasn’t asleep for too long and after about thirty minutes he tossed in Richie’s arms, slowly blinking his eyes open. “Hey sleeping beauty.” Richie teased, backing off to allow Eddie to stretch his arms. 

“What time is it?” His voice was adorably groggy, and he continued to stretch out on the couch.

“Around three I think.” Richie stretched his own arms out, reaching for his phone. “Yeah a little past three. Are you hungry yet?”

“Starving.”

“I know this really cute spot in town. It’s my secret spot but I guess I can share it with you.”

“Can’t we just order in?” Eddie groaned, twisting to lay on his stomach, face buried into the couch. 

“Please, let’s go out. I promise, this place is the best.”

“Richie-”

“Let me take you out.” He swallowed thickly. “Like on a date. Let me take you out on a date. Like so we can… date. Maybe? I don’t know what the fuck I’m saying now.” He flushed at Eddie’s muffled laughter. “So whatya say? Wanna date together? Wait hold on-”

“Richie, shut up.” Eddie tilted his head, cheek flushed to the couch, a smirk curled on his lips. “We can go out. Just… stop panicking.”

“Cool, cool.” Richie exhaled harshly, still feeling a lump in his throat. “So we are going out?”

“To your secret spot, yeah.” Now he was just being a tease.

“Sure but like… is this a date? Are we going out on a date?”

Eddie squinted at him before a chuckle erupted from his mouth. “If this food is really good, sure.”

“Oh it’s not good, it’s the _ best _ .” Richie slowly rolled off of him, nearly falling off of the couch. He recovered quickly thanks to his long limbs and offered Eddie a hand. “I’m going to get dressed. Prepare to taste the best food of your life.”

“Well now you are really hyping this up. I hope it lives up to the expectations.” Eddie accepted his hand, standing up from the couch. He passed Richie before pointing to the rag on the floor. “And pick that up. Gross…” He muttered the last part under his breath, grimacing as he disappeared around the corner to his room. Eddie would never admit it, but Richie was actually really good at cleaning up nicely with just jeans and a plain shirt. He couldn’t help but stare at him while they drove to get food, not even registering the stupid jokes coming out of his mouth.

“You okay?” That was what finally pulled Eddie out of his daze.

“Yeah, just hungry.” Eddie swallowed thickly, ignoring the concerned look Richie was giving him. Eddie was immediately skeptical after leaving the car, staring at the sketchy hole in the wall in front of them. “Richie I don’t know…”

“C’mon Eds, I know it looks a little rough on the outside but you’ll see.” He nodded to the door, looking back to Eddie with a smug look on his face. “Do you trust me?”

It was a stupid question, or at least it was to Eddie. He trusted Richie more than anyone on the planet, so much that it made him nervous sometimes. So instead of answering, he followed him through the door silently, pleasantly surprised at the smell that filled his nose. The place was dimly lit and small, but the smell was mouth watering. It reminded Eddie of an old speakeasy that you’d see in a movie, but calmer and empty. He followed Richie past the bar and to the booth across the room, hidden away in a corner. “Looks fun right?” The grin on his face was contagious, and Eddie couldn’t help but smile back.

“It’s cute-”

“Well if it isn’t Trashmouth Tozier!” A high pitched voice interrupted him, a hand slapping down on Richie’s shoulder. “We thought you up and died man, what the hell!” 

“Mel!” Richie excitedly opened his arms up to her, enveloping in a big hug. He knew he was being ridiculous, but Eddie couldn’t help but feel annoyed. “Sorry, had important stuff to deal with. The break from LA was nice though.”

“I’m just glad you’re alright.” She rubbed Richie’s back a few times before pulling away. “And congrats on coming out babe. I don’t want to say I had a hunch but…”

“Pft yeah right.” Richie laughed, sitting back into the booth. “I’m a ladies man clearly.”

“Clearly.” She rolled her eyes before they fell on Eddie. “And who’s this cutie? You never bring anyone in here with you.”

“This is Eddie!” Richie looked over at him excitedly, just in time to catch the way his face immediately reddened. “We go way back.”

“Hi.” Eddie said sheepishly, feeling very exposed under both of their stares.

“Nice to meet you Eddie, I’m Melissa.” She smiled wide, placing a menu down in front of both men. “A friend of Richie’s is a friend of mine. Let me know if you have any questions.”

“Thanks Mel.”

“No problem Rich.” She shot Eddie a quick wink before making her way back towards the bar. Richie didn’t even bother picking up the menu and just propped his head in his hand, elbow resting on the table. 

Eddie glanced at the menu, reading over several options. “Have you uh… tried the burger?”

“Best burger in town baby.” Richie just watched him read the menu. “I’d recommend the steak burger, it’s a specialty item.”

“Cool.” He placed the menu onto Richie’s neatly, tapping the counter top to fill the silence. “So who’s Melissa?”

“A waitress.” Richie said bluntly, laughing when he got a glare in response. “I found this place a little after I had my first big show. I found it by accident honestly, but it’s a hidden gem for sure. Mel and her dad run the place, and they’ve always been super supportive and nice. I donate some money here and there to help them get new furniture or cater events and stuff.”

“That’s really nice Rich.” 

“It’s nothing.” Richie couldn’t stop smiling, just so happy to actually be there with Eddie. Melissa came back to bring them water and take their orders, nodding when they both ordered burgers. Richie also ordered fries and onion rings for them to share, despite Eddie’s protest. “What? You want a salad or something?”

“Do you know how unhealthy fries and onion rings are?”

“It’s just potatoes and vegetables, ain’t that right Mel?” He used a pretty good western accent, pulling a giggle from the girl.

“Shutup Richie. Sorry I know this might be a dumb question but is any of that fried in peanut oil? I’m allergic.”

“Nope! We are peanut free except for some deserts. We typically air fry, it’s actually healthier. ”

“Okay thank you.”

“Not a problem. Any restrictions for you Tozier? You know, besides actual vegetables?”

“Woah, Mel gets off on a good one! Low blow but I’ll take it.” They exchanged a few more jokes before she left to put in their orders.

“Does she always flirt with you like this?”

Richie choked on his water, quirking an eyebrow at the man across from him. “Flirt? I’d hardly call it that but we’ve always been friendly. Why?”

“I don’t know.” Eddie shrugged, taking a slow sip of his own water. “She’s clearly into you. And I don’t think you being gay is going to stop her.”

Richie studied him for a moment, watching him place the glass down. “Are you jealous Eds?”

“No!”

“You totally are!” Richie pointed an accusing finger at him, blinking his wide eyes. “Don’t worry, I’ve only got eyes for one person. He’s loud, kind of a hot head. Total freak about germs-” He held his hands up in defense before Eddie could even retaliate. “I’m just fucking with you man. And if we’re being honest, I should be worried about you. Not the other way around.”

“Me?”

“Yeah you! You’re a total twunk man, guys and girls are going to be all over you around here.”

Eddie snorted, shaking his head. “Do I even want to know what a ‘twunk’ is?”

“A twink and a hunk, buddy. Real hot stuff.”

“Okay, this is not how this was supposed to go. I asked about you and her.” Eddie took another swig of his water, desperately trying to cool the heat rising in his face. 

“And I answered you. No need to be jealous.”

“Have you guys ever hooked up?” Eddie asked, testing if he really did have a reason to be acting so possessive. Clearly Richie wasn’t expecting the question, because he looked dumbfounded, a blush rising on his own face.

“Well no… We’ve never done anything crazy but we’ve tried to go out.” He cleared his throat, letting an embarrassed smile crack through. “We’ve exchanged a few drunken kisses once or twice but it never really led to anything. I was gay then just like I’m gay now.”

“Ah I see.” Eddie pretended to be mad, not able to hold it for too long. “So now you come here to get with her dad, not her.”

“Oh Damn! Eddie Kaspbrak ladies and gentlemen, new comedian over here!” His loud laugh made Eddie break out into his own fit of laughter, feeling slightly less on edge when Melissa made her way back to the table.

“Been a while since I’ve seen this guy so happy.” She nodded towards Richie, who was still coming down from Eddie’s joke. “Did you slip drugs in his drink or something?”

“I’m not incriminating myself.” Eddie replied, winking at her coyly.

“You really are a cutie Eddie.” She winked back, placing their food onto the table in front of them. Eddie was normally quick enough to keep up with Richie, but he didn’t really know what to say to her, so he just stayed quiet and shifted in his seat.

“He is, isn’t he.” Richie finally agreed after catching his breath. “Cute cute cute.”

Mel shot them another wink before leaving them be, Richie intently watching Eddie as he picked up and inspected his burger. “Are you going to take a bite or just stare at it?”

“Stop fucking watching me wierdo.” Eddie snapped at him before taking a quick bite, chewing slowly to savor the taste. “Mm.”

“Good right?” Richie’s face broke out into a shit eating grin, watching Eddie’s eyelids flutter.

“ _ Fuck yeah _ .” He took another bite, packing more into his mouth than before. Richie just continued to watch him, only moving to stick a few fries into his mouth. “Each your damn food Richie, stop looking at me.”

“I’m sorry, I just like seeing you happy.”

“I’d be more happy if you ate your food and stopped looking at me.”

Richie just rolled his eyes and finally picked up his burger, taking a massive bite. “Mm. It’s always this good. Gets me going every time.” He wiggled his eyebrows as he chewed, picking up an onion ring.

“Slow down idiot, you’re going to choke!”   
  


“Don’t kink shame me Eds.” The comment made Eddie cough, nearly choking himself. “Eat some fries and onion rings. Don’t look at me like that, your body is already perfect, it’s not going to hurt you.”

“I know this might sound crazy to you, but for my first time out in LA I’d rather not gorg myself on a bunch of fried food.”

“You’re right, that does sound crazy.” He crammed a few more fries in his mouth before washing everything down with a few gulps of water. “How is your first time out in LA going?”

Eddie wanted to say something sarcastic but he couldn’t really come up with anything worthwhile. “It’s nice. Thanks for taking us here. It’s been a while since I’ve been out.”

“Been out for dinner or on a date?”

Eddie smirked, daringly picking up a fry. “Both. Myra cooked every night, nothing special. I don’t think I’ve ever really been on a date. Like a  _ date _ date.”

“No shot!”

“Yes shot.” Eddie shrugged, trying to contain his embarrassment. “I don’t know why you’re so shocked. Not everyone can get to explore like you.”

“Um, have you seen yourself?” Richie gasped, placing down his burger mid bite. “I’m surprised that people weren’t fighting each other to get you. Guys  _ and _ girls.”

“Yeah well no one really wants to date a hypochondriac with mommy issues and clown trauma. No matter how good looking you think I am, I can promise that I was and still might be the least attractive person based on those standards.”

“Watch what you say about Eddie Kaspbrak, that’s my best friend you’re talking about.”

“Well I’m telling you your best friend is the worst. Find a new one.”

“Stop before I kick your ass.”

“If you kick my ass then I’ll tell my best friend Richie Tozier to kick  _ your _ ass.”

“Well shit, I don’t want to fuck with him. I heard he’s super sexy and strong. And cool and funny. I might be hated for ruining his perfect face but I’d do it for my Eds.” Richie crossed his arms as if to say that he’d won their little back and forth. “Anyone who insults him needs to be destroyed.”

“No destroying people on my turf Trashmouth.” Mel pulled them both from their intense eye contact. “Everything okay over here boys? I see the food did justice.” She motioned to the nearly empty plates in front of them, burgers devoured and only a few fries and onion rings remaining.

“Amazing.” Richie nodded, pointing to Eddie. “Can we actually get two shots and the check?”

“No no no.” Eddie shook his head at her, pleading with his eyes. “No shot for me.”

“Two shots Mel.” Richie butted back in, ignoring his refusal. 

“Sure Rich. I’ll be back with the check as well.” She grabbed their empty plates and shot Eddie an apologetic look. “Sorry cutie. Richie is the king of shots around here.”

“If she calls you cutie one more time I might have to fight her.” Richie said once she walked away. “She’s trying to steal my date. This is still a date right? You said if you liked the food than it would be-”

“Richie I swear to God.”

“I’m sorry, I panicked again.”

“Yes, this is a date… take that for what you will.”

“You’re a fucking tease Eddie.”

Mel came back quickly with a small platter with two shots on it. “Enjoy boys. Richie, never disappear on us again asshole. And Eddie, it was very nice meeting you!”

Eddie just responded with a smile as she walked away again. “What is this?” Eddie picked up a glass and held it up, examining the blue liquid. “Are you pranking me? Is this mouthwash?”

“It’s a blue angel shot. I think you’ll like it.”

“I’m not a drinker Richie…”

“It’s okay, I think you’ll like it. Trust me.” There he went again. Eddie trusted him more than anyone, but he still hesitantly brought the glass to his lips. “That’s not how you take a shot Eds. C’mon don’t be a pussy. On three?” He held his in the air, shooting him a wide smile.

Eddie sighed, holding his up briefly as Richie counted before pouring it down his throat. He braced himself for the usual sting alcohol had, but he wasn’t met with any. His chest felt warm right after swallowing, and he was surprised by the sweetness coating his mouth.

“Like it?”

“Mm yeah, what’s in it?” Eddie widened his eyes slightly at the sugary taste, licking his lips of any remnants. Richie’s eyes flickered down to his lips for a millisecond before returning to Eddie’s.

“It’s vodka and that shit you put on blue snow cones.”

“Blue raspberry syrup?” He snorted, reminded of the summers they had in Derry. “Of course it is. That stuff is so bad for you, I remember you used to drink it straight out of the bottle at Bill’s.

“Hey, you tried it once!”

“That’s because you are a bad influence- what are you doing?” Eddie’s hand came down on Richie’s, which was in the process of grabbing the check. Richie looked at him, confused. “I’m paying stupid.” He said bluntly, raising an eyebrow at the smaller man in front of him.

“No you’re not.”

“I certainly am.”

“Richie.”

“Eddie.”

“Richard Tozier!”

“Edward Kaspbrak!”

“Give me the check Richie.”   
  


“No.”

“I can pay!”

“Nope.”

“Fine, I’ll just pay for my food.”

“Nu uh.” Richie kicked his leg lightly, but with enough force to distract Eddie in order to pull the check away from him. Eddie nearly lunged across the table, but his long arms were way out of reach. “Jesus man can you just let me pay it! I want to pay, I was the one you wanted to take you out so let me just do it. I don’t want you to worry about anything on your first official date.”

Eddie paused his attack at the sweet sentiment. Richie saw the conflicted look in his face before his body relaxed back into his seat. “Are you sure?”

“Of course.” Richie pulled out his wallet and slid some cash into the holder, sliding it to the edge of the table. “I just- I never really had a stellar date either and I just want to do it right at least once. So… let me date you okay? Plus, it’s not even expensive.”

Eddie watched the bill intently, biting his lip. “Fine. But next one’s on me.”

Richie’s serious look flipped quickly, and he smiled. “Deal.”

Both men said their goodbyes to Mel again, walking back towards the door. The bar filled up with a few more groups, but Richie couldn’t care less if they recognised him. He proudly placed his hand to the small of Eddie’s back as he guided him through the narrow opening and back outside to the car. “Hey Rich.” Eddie slid next to him in the passenger seat. “Thank you again. The food was really good, and I had fun.”

“Yeah no problem. Thanks for joining me.” He watched Eddie buckle himself in, meticulous as everything else he does.  _ I’m so goddamn in love with you _ . “Can we watch more reality garbage when we get back? I need more of a break from writing.”

“If it’s the bachelor, then no. Too straight for me.” That made Richie laugh, putting the car into drive. “My strange addiction or 90 day fiance?”

“You’re my strange addiction.” Richie purred, earning a groan from Eddie. “And just you wait 90 days…”

“Oh my god.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you freaks enjoyed some explicit content >;) I'm not too used to writing it with two guys but please let me know what you thought! 
> 
> Just a warning, updates might be slow for the next week or two since I have 2nd-semester midterms, but I'll try to get a good amount done!
> 
> As always, if you enjoyed please leave a kudos and a comment! I love reading your comments, they make my day ;3
> 
> Thanks for the patience and support! <3


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie threw his hands in the air, sighing. “Do you want to join me in the shower or not? Hello, Earth to Richie?” He waved his hands in front of the short circuiting man in front of him.
> 
> “I- wait seriously?” He laughed, starting to sweat just looking at Eddie. “I mean- yeah… duh. Fuck yeah, just- this isn’t a joke right? Fuck, hold on. Yeah I’ll… yeah.” Richie closed his laptop again, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. “My shower is bigger if you want-”
> 
> “Stop talking before I change my mind.”  
> ____________________
> 
> Richie & Eddie get a lot of news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Sexual Content & Angst  
> (the emails included are obviously not real, please do not email them!)

“Richie.” Richie grunted in annoyance at the sudden shaking of his body. “Richie, get up you’re heavy!” Eddie pushed on his chest, trying to wiggle out from underneath him.

“Tired.” Is all he could mutter, burying his face further into what he finally realized was Eddie’s neck. “A little longer.”

“No! Rich, c'mon I need to use the bathroom!”

“Pee on me.”

“That’s fucking disgusting.”   
  


“There you go kink shaming again Eds.”

“I will kick your ass if you don’t get off of me. Don’t make me start counting.” They both knew that there was no way Eddie would be able to move Richie by force, even though he was very strong despite being shorter. “I swear to God, Tozier-”

“Fine.” Richie groaned and slowly picked himself up, leaning on his forearms so he was no longer crushing Eddie. “Mm, what time is it?” He blinked his eyes as Eddie slid out from underneath him. A stupid smile graced his face when he realized that Eddie had taken his glasses off for him and placed them neatly on the coffee table.  _ Fucking adorable. _

“Almost eight.”

“Ew, why’d you let me sleep so long?” Richie rubbed his eyes before putting the glasses back on. “I feel like shit.”

“You look like shit too.” Eddie snorted, turning the corner to the bathroom. “And I’m not your damn alarm clock!”

“Really? Because you’re definitely as loud as one!” He fired back, chuckling when Eddie didn’t even bother to respond. “I’m ordering food without you!” He still didn’t get a response, and certainly still didn’t bother to move from the couch. He laid there as Eddie relieved himself, resorting to checking through all of his emails: adult work that Richie hated doing. He loved his job and his fans, but the business part of work always bored him. He hired people to do a lot of it for him, but he still needed to keep up with everything anyway. 

“How hungry could you still be?” Eddie finally replied as he emerged from around the corner, still toying with the hem of his pants. “I’m still stuffed from lunch.”

“First the kink shaming, now the fat shaming?” Richie feigned a frown. “You wound me Eds.”

“Shut up idiot, I’m not calling you fat.” Eddie sat back down on the couch, picking up a few takeout menus strewn across the coffee table. “Are you in the mood for something?”

“You.”

Eddie shot him a glare, tossing the menus at him. “Decide quickly, you really shouldn’t be eating dinner this late. It can cause indigestion, cramps, insomnia-”

Richie just watched him ramble on with a small smug smile, letting him finish. “How about we just order some ice cream or something?”

“You’re not serious.” Eddie squinted at him before laughing. “Please tell me you’re not serious!”

“As serious as a heart attack.”

“You’re gonna have a fucking heart attack if you make a habit of ordering ice cream for dinner. And at eight o’clock at night no less!”

“C’mon man, live a little.” Richie pulled him closer, ruffling up his hair. “It’ll just be you, me and tubs of icecream. We can even invite some My Strange Addiction to the orgy.”

“Ew, don’t say it like that.” Eddie laughed, shoving Richie’s hands away from his head. “Fine, order ice cream. I’ll allow it just this once.”

“Oh thank you, your highness!” Richie opened up a delivery app on his phone and ordered way more ice cream than necessary, preparing himself for another scolding. Sure enough, Eddie was baffled by the six tubs of ice cream that were delivered to the door. After an entire lecture, they resumed their positions on the couch, Richie semi cradling Eddie against him as they watched the show. Everytime someone had some odd form of OCD or wierd cleaning habit, Richie was quick to tell Eddie “that’s you”, which only earned him several elbows to the ribs.

“I feel disgusting.” Eddie mumbled, setting down his nearly finished tub of ice cream. “I need to get back to working out.”

“I appreciate your dedication to taking care of that tight little body of yours, but you shouldn’t push yourself. I’d wait a little longer.” Richie said through the ice cream in his mouth, digging into a second tub. “Please, just don’t hurt yourself.”

“If I’m allowed to have sex now, then I’m allowed to go on a light jog.” His casual tone made Richie choke on his ice cream. “I’m not planning on running a marathon or anything. I just need to get back into it. I think it will help a lot with recovery.”

Richie didn’t argue, knowing that Eddie was far too stubborn and very good at getting what he wanted. Especially when it came to Richie, they both knew very well that he’d do anything for Eddie. But neither of them could figure out if that was scary or comforting.

“Go to bed Richie.” Eddie nudged him lightly, making Richie blink his eyes open to adjust to the bright light of the tv. He wasn’t sure when he had dozed off, pressed comfortably against Eddie’s smaller frame. 

“Let me just sleep here.” He mumbled sleepily, trying to close his eyes again to shut out the light. 

“You’ll fuck up your back.” Eddie yawned, the need for sleep also apparent in his voice. “Let’s go, get up.”

“You get up first.” He whined childishly, smiling at Eddie’s exasperated sigh. He felt the couch dip and Eddie maneuver in his arms, sensing that he was now hovering over him. 

“Your turn.”

Richie blinked his eyes open again to Eddie moving from above him, catching that the time under the tv read 11:42. “It’s really cute that you care so much about my back.” He stretched out on the couch, groaning as he took up every inch. “What did I miss?”

“The lady who drinks paint isn’t dead yet, surprisingly.” 

“What about the dude who bathes in bleach? Did he die a horrible death yet?” He snorted when Eddie shook his head. “Did his dick fall off yet?” 

“Jesus, no!”

“See, I told you it’s fine.” He finished stretching and sat up straight, planting his feet to the floor. “You of all people would be into that. You’re like… freakishly clean. Can’t get cleaner than bathing in bleach.”

“Yeah, I think I’ll pass.” He shook his head, picking up the empty tubs of ice cream that were scattered across the floor. “I’m going to take a real shower.”

“I’ll pass on the real shower too. I’m beat.” Richie laughed at the disgusted look on Eddie’s face. “I’m clean, I promise. I took a shower this morning.”

“Whatever. You’re still gross.” He walked towards the kitchen and Richie heard him dumping the tubs into the garbage. “Goodnight Rich.” He yawned, waving to Richie before turning the corner towards his room.

“Night Eds.” Richie didn’t move for a few minutes, too lazy and tired to get up. If it was a regular old day he probably would've stayed there. But this wasn’t a regular day, Eddie was staying there now and everyday was new and exciting. Richie loved having Eddie there more than anything, but even he wanted to be spared the lecture Eddie would give him if he caught Richie sleeping on the couch again.

He stood up quickly with a groan, shuffling towards his room and stripping to his t-shirt and boxers before sliding into bed. It didn’t take him long to fall back asleep.

When he was young, he and Eddie would climb up Bill’s lofted bed. There was a futon underneath it that Ben, Mike, and Stan would usually sit on, but the rest of them took the risk and crammed onto Bill’s mattress. “Y-you guys, there’s not enough r-room.” 

“Technically Eddie doesn’t count. He’s so small and he weighs nothing.” Richie snickered, squeezing close to Beverly who gasped when the loft creaked beneath them. “Richie! You’re going to get us all killed!”

“Aw, said who? Can I not bond with my bestest friends?” Richie unfolded the Catan board, beginning to hand out the pieces, his head barely fitting between the bed and the ceiling. “Today’s the day I beat you guys.” 

“Yeah right.” Eddie scoffed, snatching the dice from him. “I might be smaller than you but I’ll always kick your ass.”

“You just wait Eds, one day I’ll win and wipe that smirk off of your face.” 

“Don’t call me that.”

“Make me!” Richie giggled as Eddie used all of his body weight to push Richie onto his back, nearly sending them both over the railing of the bunk. “Woah dude, what happened to being such a freak about safety?”

“Ever since you let me  _ die _ I don’t really care.” Richie looked at him, confused before Eddie opened his mouth and blood spattered onto his face. He blinked it away in terror as adult Eddie now hovered over him. “You still love me don’t you Richie? Isn’t that your filthy secret Richie? Richie-”

“RICHIE!” 

Richie gasped for air as the nightmare broke off, eyes darting frantically around the room. “Hey, hey, Richie. You’re okay, you’re having another nightmare. You’re okay, you’re alright.” Eddie repeated the mantra over again, gingerly petting Richie’s shoulder. Seeing Eddie next to him, uninjured with his brows furrowed like usual, made him sigh in relief. “It’s just a nightmare.” He said again, making his heart flutter. He placed his hand on his arm, scooting closer to him on the bed. Richie shuddered at his cool hand on his feverish skin, feeling his heartbeat slowly steady. 

Eddie gave him a reassuring smile, despite the concern still apparent on his face that even Richie could see with the help of the moonlight creeping through the window. Eventually, Richie laid his head back down on the pillow and let out a hitched breath, afraid to close his eyes just yet. “What time is it?” He croaked, the raspiness of his own voice scaring him.

“Two in the morning.” Eddie replied briefly, his voice soft but still filled with concern. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” He lied, cold sweat dripping down from his forehead. “Sorry for waking you.”

“Don’t apologise.” Eddie continued the comforting little circles he was rubbing on his arm. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.” Richie huffed, his voice shaking a little. “It was just a stupid dream.”  _ Just a dream. It’s just a dream. Eddie’s alive. Eddie’s okay. _

“You were  _ screaming _ . Richie you shouldn’t hold it in-”

“I’m fine! It’s just a dream, okay? Leave it alone.” He felt a little bad for how defensive it came out, feeling even worse at the hint of a frown forming on Eddie’s face. 

“Fine.” He stopped the motion of his hand and swung his legs out of Richie’s bed. “Goodnight.”

_ Stupid, all you’re doing is pushing him away. You stupid, inconsiderate person, you’re just making him more and more distant. _

“Eddie.” He rasped out, his chest tightening so much it hurt. “Can you please stay?” The last part came out as a whimper, and Eddie stopped the door from closing behind him. Richie heard him let out a little sigh before he turned back around.

“Are you going to tell me what’s on your mind?” He shut the door, leaning his back flush against it and crossing his arms against his chest. 

“It was just…” Richie quivered at the thought. “Just… when we were kids you’d whoop my ass in Catan. I dreamt that we were at Bill’s house back then… and then it just-” He interrupted himself with a sob, causing Eddie to return to his spot on the bed. “They are always just so fucked up, you keep  _ dying _ -”

“I’m right here.” Eddie whispered, trying to comfort him. “We’re both okay.”

“Don’t leave.” Richie begged him. “Please don’t leave me.”

“I won’t.” Eddie promised, his own voice starting to shake. “I’m right here.” He repeated, slipping under the covers and allowing Richie to pull him as close as possible. Richie squeezed him tightly, making sure that he was really there. “Try to get some sleep Richie. I’m not going anywhere.” Eddie breathed into his neck, the warm air soothing in temperature and as a reminder that Eddie was in fact breathing. He was alive and in his arms, and there was no need for Richie to worry anymore. It took a while, but he eventually fell back to sleep.

In a much better way to wake up, Richie’s eyes fluttered open to Eddie’s sleepy eyes next to him. “Hey Rich, I’m going to go for a run. Go back to sleep.” He let Richie’s large hand reach up and caress his face, bringing a smaller hand up to hold it to his cheek.

“Want me to go with you?” Richie’s voice was still rough but he felt much better. He wished he could always wake up like this.

“You?” Eddie snorted. “You seriously would want to run with me?”

“Hell no.” Richie smiled lazily. “But I can drive slowly behind you or something. Appreciate the view.”

“You’re a creep.” Eddie smiled back, slowly sitting up. “Go back to sleep. When I get back I’ll wake you up and we can get some breakfast.”

“Ordering or going out?” Richie yawned, stretching his long arms. “Or I can cook, I’m Gordon Ramsey’s best kept secret in the kitchen.”

“Sure.” Eddie rolled his eyes. “We can decide when I get back.” He slowly rolled off of the bed and stretched his back, grunting before continuing to the door. Richie didn’t get a chance to admire him much while they were in bed, but he thoroughly enjoyed getting an eyeful of Eddie’s flawless body. He scanned down his toned back, a white t-shirt clung tightly to each muscle. And don’t get him started on those legs, thin but solid, and thighs that could crush watermelons. Richie only allowed his gaze to linger on Eddie’s ass for a second, only clothed by a pair of baby blue boxers. If he looked at him any longer he’d start drooling.

Thankfully, Eddie slipped out of the room to get ready for his run and Richie pulled out his laptop to check through more emails, which never seemed to stop coming in. Most of them were the standard brand deal requests and some fan mail that leaked to his business account, but one caught his eye. 

_ To:  _ [ _ trashmouthtozier@gmail.com _ ](mailto:trashmouthtozier@gmail.com)

_ From:  _ [ _ sarahcohen6@snl.gmail.com _ ](mailto:sarahcohen6@snl.gmail.com)

_ Subject: SNL Host Listing _

_ To Mr. Richie Tozier and his team, _

_ Lorne Michaels and the board for Saturday Night Live have watched your viral coming out video, and would love to have you on the show to host. We figure that this will be an opportune moment to step back into the spotlight and encourage those who may still be struggling with their identity. Congratulations on coming out, as well as continuing to be an inspiration in comedy, and we hope to hear back from you so we can begin working on a schedule! _

_ -Sarah Cohen, Talent Recruiting Manager _

Richie read it over multiple times, torn between pure excitement and absolute anxiety. “Andrew are you seeing this shit!” He screamed into the phone, earning a hiss from his newly promoted manager.

“Rich, please stop screaming in my ear! Are you talking about the SNL email or the Netflix one? Megan and I already wrote out some responses but we were waiting for you to get the news before we sent them to you. Surprise?”

“Fuck yeah this is a suprise! Wait- what Netflix one?”

“Did you not read through all of your emails?”

Richie put him on speaker and dug through his inbox for anything from Netflix, finally finding one from the previous night. “Holy shitballs.”

_ To:  _ [ _ trashmouthtozier@gmail.com _ ](mailto:trashmouthtozier@gmail.com)

_ From:  _ [ _ danielfox27@netflix.gmail.com _ ](mailto:danielfox27@netflix.gmail.com) __

_ Subject: Netflix Original Special _

_ To Richie Tozier and co, _

_ Netflix has gotten word that you are currently working on new material for a renovated performance. We are extremely happy to hear of your new found passion and would like to set up a meeting to discuss a Netflix comedy special, including this new material. If you are interested, we would love to go over some things and see a portion of your new work, although it does not need to be completed just yet of course. Congratulations on the support you’ve gained and success with coming out as a public figure, we hope to hear from you soon. _

_ -Daniel Fox, Netflix Originals Inc. _

“Drew, I’m gonna pass out.” Richie chuckled, his heart thumping with adrenaline. “What the fuck did I do to deserve all this?”

“You work hard Rich, and people like you.” Andrew laughed. “And also you’re gay. Corporations love inclusion points.”

“And here I thought being a big ol’ homo was gonna ruin my career!”

“Yeah see, what you just said is something that we are gonna need to work on. Don’t go around around calling yourself that, people might find it insensitive-”

“Whatever man. Insensitive is my brand, I’m Trashmouth fucking Tozier. I’ve made worse jokes and look, hosting SNL  _ and _ a Netflix special?”

“Let’s just set up a meeting to talk about all of this before you start letting your ego get ahead of you. Send me days that work for you and I’ll work something out with Megan. Do you want to meet with SNL or Netflix first?”

“Hm.” Richie hummed, his face starting to hurt from smiling. “Netflix first maybe since that’ll take more time to prepare for. SNL can come after, but don’t wait to email them.”

“Yes sir.” Andrew clicked. “And congrats Richie, this is a big deal. You deserve it all.”

“Thanks man.” Richie nodded. “Now hang up before you make me cry.” He snickered when he immediately heard the disconnect tone. He took a few deep breaths, pacing around his bedroom before getting his laptop, starting to type more new material. He didn’t realize how long he’d been going, the only thing to distract him was the opening of the front door. 

“Eds!” Richie called out from the room, listening carefully to the sounds coming from the living room. 

“Yes?”

“Come in here!” Eddie’s footsteps trailed to the bedroom, and Richie smiled, excited to tell him the news. “You won’t believe-” He choked on his words when Eddie opened the door, revealing the light yellow shirt that clung tightly to his body, damp with sweat. Richie trails his eyes from his flushed face, dusted pink and still dripping, all the way down to his red running shorts. They were fairly short and showed off those beautiful thighs. It was unfair how good he looked for someone who just came back from a long run.

“I won’t believe what?” He asked, his eyebrow raised.

“Um- well…” Richie swallowed thickly, trying to rip his eyes away from Eddie’s body. “I got some emails- I think… well it’s not really set in stone yet but-” He shook his head. “I might be hosting SNL and I was offered to have my own Netflix comedy special!” He spit out, shutting his laptop abruptly. 

Eddie just looked at him before a smile slowly formed on his face. “Wow, that’s really big Rich. I thought you were going to say something stupid but- that’s really cool. I’m so happy for you.”

“Yeah?” He breathed out.

Eddie nodded. “I mean, I’m not surprised. Everyone should want you.” He laughed at Richie’s dumb expression. “I’m serious. I’m really proud of you.”

“Stop. You’re gonna make me cry!” Richie laughed shakily, covering his face.

“No crying, you promised me breakfast after my run. Gordon Ramsey’s best kept secret or whatever the fuck.” 

“Yeah yeah. You’re gonna eat your words.”

“I’d rather eat food.”

“Wow, good one.” Richie snorted. “Anything you’re in the mood for?”

“Whatever.” Eddie hummed, tapping his foot on the floor. “I’m just gonna take a shower.”

“Sure.” Richie nodded, opening his laptop again. It didn’t take him long to realize that Eddie was just staring at him, not moving a muscle. “You good?”

“Idiot.” He mumbled under his breath before shuffling in his spot. “Wanna join?”

Richie looked at him with wide eyes, feeling his own face heat up. “What?”

Eddie threw his hands in the air, sighing. “Do you want to join me in the shower or not? Hello, Earth to Richie?” He waved his hands in front of the short circuiting man in front of him.

“I- wait seriously?” He laughed, starting to sweat just looking at Eddie. “I mean- yeah… duh. Fuck yeah, just- this isn’t a joke right? Fuck, hold on. Yeah I’ll… yeah.” Richie closed his laptop again, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. “My shower is bigger if you want-”

“Stop talking before I change my mind.” Eddie grunted, passing him to enter the bathroom that connected to his room. “Oh thank God you have soap and shampoo in here.”

“I’d be offended if I wasn’t so confused right now.”

“How is this confusing, I thought I was being pretty straight forward! Do I really need to put the pieces together for you?” Eddie rolled his eyes, examining the bottle of shampoo before placing it back on the shower shelf. He gripped the hem of his shirt and lifted it over his head, tossing it aside. “Are you going to undress yourself or do I have to do that for you too?” He placed his watch carefully on the sink and kicked off his socks, tossing them at him.

“Forgive me for enjoying the view.” Richie swallowed, not able to function enough to dodge the socks. “Jesus Eddie, are you trying to kill me?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He shrugged, fiddling with the waistband of his shorts, turning back around to face the shower. “I’m just taking a shower.” He bent his knees slightly to pull down both his shorts and boxers at once, leaving him completely naked.

“You are so fucking confusing man.” Richie finally caught up to speed and shrugged his shirt over his shoulders, all the while getting an eyeful of Eddie’s perfect ass. “I’m surprised you can even reach the soap.”

“I will kill you with your own razor.” He glared over his shoulder, pausing to look at Richie's torso up and down before blushing. Richie suddenly realized that this was the first time in two decades that he was getting naked in front of Eddie, hesitating to remove his boxers.

“Lies. It would get too gross for you, even in a shower you probably still wouldn’t feel clean enough.” He decided that while Eddie was distracted it was his chance to get fully naked and climb in behind him, almost pressing against his back.

“I’m pretty sure if I was able to swim through sewer water,  _ twice _ , I can handle it.”

“That was pretty badass of you.” He breathed close to Eddie’s ear, making him jump slightly. “Pass me the shampoo Mr. Staph Infection.”

“I’ll show you a staph infection.” Eddie shot back, making them both giggle at the memory. He turned his body slightly to hand over the bottle, and Richie squirted a generous amount onto his hand and worked it into Eddie’s hair.

“You’re just as good the second time around.” He hummed, tilting his head back to meet his hands. “I might have to hire you full time to wash my hair.”

“I’m getting a lot of new job opportunities lately, but I’ll see when I can work you into my schedule. I’ll still have time for you, don't worry.” Richie smiled, loving the way Eddie purred when his fingers pulled at the few tangles. “And what will I be getting in return for my expert hair washing abilities?”

“Hm. I’ll make sure your entire house is clean and organized.”

“Deal. Even though I feel like that’s secretly a fetish of yours, cleaning up after me. This sounds like a win win for you.”

“Cleaning up after you is absolutely not my fetish.” Eddie snorted, taking the bottle back from him. “But I do like living in a clean and neat space so I guess I do win. Switch.” 

Richie turned around, sighing when Eddie’s hands returned the favor and worked shampoo into his long curls. He hissed lightly whenever his fingers would tug at a stubborn patch of curls, scrunching his face. “I think it’s time for a haircut, my hair has a will of its own now-”

“Don’t you dare.” Eddie flicked his temple. “It looks good, don’t touch it.”

“You like it long?”

“Yeah, it looks good on you.” He answered lowly. “You look good.” His hands left Richie’s hair, lightly ghosting over his shoulders. “Just- don’t cut it yet okay?”

“If you like it Eds, it’s here to stay.” He nodded, turning around to face him. “Turn around, I didn’t get all of the soap out of your hair.”

“Wow. One more mess up like that and I might have to fire you.”

“Jokes on you.” Richie combed his fingers through Eddie’s soft hair, tugging lightly. “Then you’ll just be cleaning the house for free. Then I win.”

“I’ll just have to find my own place-  _ ah _ .” He let out a small noise when Richie’s fingers gripped his hair a little harder. 

“No.” Richie pouted. “Don’t leave.”

“I was joking dumb-  _ Richie _ !” He gasped as Richie ran his fingers teasingly down his back, curving around his waist to brush over the fine dip of his v-line. “You’re supposed to be cleaning-  _ ugh! _ ” A moan slipped from his lips as Richie’s hand traveled a little further. He shot his arm out to grab the wall for support, pressing his forearm against it to stabilize his footing. 

“This okay?” Richie breathed out.

Eddie nodded in response, shuddering with a wave of sensation when Richie wrapped his long fingers around his member. “You’re already hard.” Richie choked into his ear, pulling a whimper from Eddie as he tugged at his length, fisting it in his large hand as he pumped it up and down.

“It’s your fault.” Eddie breathed out, his legs twitching at the pressure. “ _ Rich- _ ” He whispered as Richie pressed small kisses on his shoulder, sucking and nipping at the freshly cleaned skin. 

“Hey, you were pretty much asking for it.” He smirked, letting go of Eddie to trail his hands back over his sides to ghost over his ass. “You’re a tease.”

“I have… no idea what you’re talking about.” He panted, turning his head over his shoulder.

“You’re a filthy liar Eds!” Richie snickered, twisting him around in his arms. “Those running shorts nearly gave me a heart attack! Not to mention you literally invited me to shower with you. I know I’m a good hair washer but damn!”

“Well maybe if you were better at taking a hint I wouldn’t have to try so hard!”

“Hey, I’m not complaining!” Richie slid his hands back up to Eddie’s waist, holding him firmly while staring into his big brown eyes. “But if you were horny you could’ve just told me.”

“I hate you.”

“But here you are.” He laughed. “You know if you wanted a change in scenery so bad we could’ve just used my bed. Well, I guess the shower makes sense for a little clean freak like you. Is it an extra turn on to be clean while you get  _ dirty _ ?” He finished with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

“I swear to God, if you don’t start using your mouth for better things I’m going to- _ hmph! _ ” The air was punched out of him when his back hit the wall, Richie’s lips catching his feverishly. “Touch me more.” He panted, clawing at Richie’s shoulders.

“Only if you ask nicely.” Richie teased, surprised when Eddie tossed his head back to lean on the wall. His hips involuntarily twitched up to rub against Richie’s thigh.

“Please Richie.” He whined shakily, not putting up much of a fight.

“Alright baby.” He curled his long fingers around his throbbing cock again, pulling a hiss from his mouth. “Feel good?”

Eddie nodded frantically, wrapping his arms around Richie’s neck to bring him down to his lips. His entire body shuddered when Richie slipped his tongue into his mouth, allowing it to tangle with his own. “You better have brushed your fucking teeth.” He scoffed, making Richie chuckle.

“A little too late for that Eds.”

“You’re not serious right? You can’t be  _ sh-shit _ -” He sputtered as the rough pad of Richie’s thumb brushed over his head. “ _ Richie _ .”

“Fuck Eddie.” Richie growled. “I can probably finish just watching you like this. You’re so fucking beautiful, and you sound like a wet dream. You’re so hot.”

Eddie looked down between them, eyes widening at Richie’s throbbing length. Richie felt very self conscious, feeling like a troll compared to how absolutely gorgeous Eddie looked. “You’re such an- asshole. Fuck, I can’t believe your dick jokes are true. It makes me kind of mad…”

“I wasn’t lying.” Richie laughed horsley. “You know who else was surprised by my size?”

“If you say what I think you’re going to say I’ll punch you in the face.” Eddie glared, staring down for a few more seconds before tentatively reaching with his hand. “Can I…”

“Holy shit,  _ yes _ .” He held his breath as Eddie gingerly wrapped his smaller hand around him, twitching in his grip.

“Jesus Rich.” Eddie swallowed, carefully gripping him a little tighter. “I- I don’t know what I’m doing here.” Richie had made plenty of dick jokes, so in hindsight Eddie should’ve been prepared. But it didn’t make him feel any less intimidated.

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to Eds.” Richie’s voice was strained. “Just getting to touch  _ you _ is a fucking dream.”

“No, I want you to feel good too. I just- I don’t know, help me out here.”

“You’re doing good. So good.” He gulped. “Squeeze a little tighter,  _ fuck _ , yeah like that.”

Eddie smirked a little, pumping his hand up and down as he continued to buck up into Richie’s fist. Richie looked like he was going to have a heart attack, his mouth wide open and his eyes trying their best to stay open. “Just like that Eds.” He grunted as Eddie mimicked him by dragging his thumb over his slit.

“God, Richie.” Eddie said softly, biting his lip as Richie rolled his hips into his hand. “I don’t know much longer I can do this.” His legs were starting to shake slightly from the sensation and the focus it took to keep himself from slipping.

“Here, let me.” Richie batted his hand away, receiving a confused look from Eddie. He smiled down at him, leaning in to lock their lips before pulling him closer by his hips so he could grab both of them in his big hand, stroking them together.

“ _ Ah- Richie _ !” Eddie moved both hands back to Richie’s shoulders for stability, his nails biting into the skin there. “I can’t- Richie, your hands.” He whimpered, pressing his forehead just under Richie’s collarbone. 

“You like my hands baby?” He whispered as he tugged a little more roughly, relishing in the grunts that were punched out of Eddie. “I think you might have a hand kink.”

“Sh.” Eddie hissed, squeezing his eyes shut. “Shut up.”

“Look at me Eddie. I wanna look at you.”

Eddie let his head rest there for a few more seconds before tilting it back against the wall, keeping eye contact as his back arched off of the tiles. “Richie.” He gasped, almost as a warning,

“I know baby. Me too.” Richie grunted, spreading his legs apart for more support, flicking his wrist the way he liked. “I’ve got you. You look so good like this, so fucking cute.”

Eddie couldn't do much but just focus on not slipping as he came over Richie’s hand, writhing against the wall. He hissed at the cold tiles against his flushed skin, but he was pulled away from it when Richie released him to finish himself off down the drain. “Shit-  _ fuck _ !” Richie jolted, his hips still bucking lightly into his hand. Both men kept eye contact after finishing, hands still roaming each other as the shower washed away any mess.

“Is this my tip for the hair washing job?” Richie breathed out, cupping Eddie’s cheek, brushing a thumb over the faint scar. Eddie didn’t answer, resorting to pulling him in for a kiss to shut him up. It worked, and Richie pressed him back up against the wall, humming into his mouth. Like everything with Richie, it didn’t take him long for him to start talking again.

“Just so you know, that was super hot. Also, can’t believe you have a hand kink, you totally do!  _ And _ you seemed to be really liking the nicknames-”

“I’m getting out.” He reached around him to shut the water, shoving him lightly to step out of the shower. “You’re the worst.”

“You know I’m the worst, you’ve known for  _ years _ . And you still let me touch your dick!”

“Richie, stop!” He groaned, his face heating up again.

“What, you did! And you touched  _ my _ dick.”

“ _ And _ if you don’t get out and start making me breakfast I’ll never do it again.” He wrapped a towel around his waist and left the bathroom, allowing the steam to flood out into Richie’s room.

“That’s just rude Eds! Bribery at its finest!” He didn’t get a reply, so he carefully stepped out and wrapped the other towel around him. He dried off his torso before wrapping the towel around his hair and threw on a new pair of pants and a shirt before making his way to the kitchen. Eddie hadn’t emerged from his room yet so Richie began to prep breakfast while he waited.

Eggs, a sprinkle of cheese, onions, green pepper, and a dash of salt. All the ingredients necessary for a Tozier omelette. His mom made them better than anyone, but he picked up a few tricks from the kitchen back in Derry.

“I thought you were kidding about knowing how to cook.” Richie could hear the smirk on Eddie’s face without having to turn around. “I was hiding out in my room to give you time to secretly order something.”

“Ha ha.” Richie rolled his eyes. “Sit down you little shit. Prepare to have your mind blown.” 

“Try me, asshole.”

“Bon appetit, bitch.” He slid the plate across the counter, and Eddie eyed it suspiciously.

“I know we are goofing off but what the fuck- Where did you learn how to make this? It surprisingly doesn’t look like shit.”

“I’m flattered.” He put his plate onto the counter across from Eddie, swinging a leg over the stool. “Do you inspect everything you eat?”

“Uh yeah.” Eddie raised an eyebrow like it was obvious, eyeing the plate intensely. “If something is going to be in my mouth I need to be precise.”

“I could make so many dirty jokes right now but I choose to be an adult.”

“For once.” He sighed, cutting a small piece and inspecting it one more time before carefully moving the fork into his mouth. “No. I refuse to believe you made this.”

“You literally just watched me make it.” Richie laughed, forking a big piece into his own mouth.

“Since when did you become a good cook?” He mumbled, taking a larger bite and humming at the taste. “All jokes aside this is really good.”

“This is hardly cooking, Eds. Just you wait till you see what else I can make.” He started to rattle off some of the dishes he’d perfected over the years, interrupted by Eddie leaning over the counter to smack him upside the head.

“Are you telling me that you knew how to cook this entire time? Richie, we've been sitting on our asses ordering takeout since the hospital!”

“I’m sorry!” Richie snickered, holding his hands up in defense. “I thought you enjoyed it?”

Eddie poked around the plate before smiling down at it. “I did. But it’s still unhealthy.”

“Yeah, whatever. Enjoy the omelette that I slaved away on.” 

They ate in peace, devouring their plates and exchanging jokes and laughs. It was extremely… domestic, and Richie had never been so happy. “Wait so are you allergic to eggs or not?”

“I’m just sensitive to a lot of things man. I really only have bad reactions to peanuts… I think that’s it. Everything else is kind of, uh, mental I guess.” Eddie explained, placing the dishes in the sink. Richie had insisted that he could wash them, or more conveniently, put them in the dishwasher. But Eddie wasn’t having it, and Richie gave in pretty easily.

“Ugh, my phone won’t stop fucking vibrating.” He sighed, setting it onto the table. “Shit, Bev’s been blowing up my phone.” He opened his text messages and saw a few missed calls and an unread text.

_ Bevvy: Check your goddamn mail trashmouth! _

Richie groaned and left Eddie in the kitchen to take care of the dishes, and he begrudgingly walked the short distance from his front door to the mailbox. He pulled out a few letters and slammed it shut, sorting through them on his way back to the kitchen. His feet froze when he got to an envelope addressed to Richard Tozier  _ and _ Edward Kaspbrak.

From a Mr.  _ and _ Mrs. Hanscom.

“Holy fucking shit.” He coughed, choking on his own breath. “No fucking way!”

“Jesus, what are you yelling about?” Eddie squinted at him. “You’re going to give me a fucking headache.”

“BEN AND BEV ARE GETTING MARRIED I THINK.”

Eddie halted all movement and slowly let his jaw drop. “What? What the hell do you mean you  _ think _ !?” His eyes dropped to the envelope in Richie’s hands. “OPEN IT!”

“OH MY GOD.”

“RICHIE OPEN THE FUCKING THING.”

“OH MY FUCKING FUCK-” He couldn’t finish before Eddie swiped it from his hands, tearing open the paper. He pulled out a small white card, covered with little spots of gold that accented the bold letters.

“Please join us for a very special occasion.” Eddie read out loud. “Wedding of Benjamin Hanscom and Beverly Marsh. Oh my God Richie-”

“Holy fuck man.” He began to pace around the counter. “What date? When is this happening??” 

“It just says January!”

“I’m going to die.”

“Christ dude, CALL HER!”

“OKAY!” He fumbled with his phone and dragged Eddie to the couch, placing it on the coffee table on speaker. She didn’t even get to speak before they were both shouting at her. “BEVERLY MARSH ARE YOU ENGAGED? IS BEN THERE? WHAT’S HAPPENING? WHEN?”

“Woah calm down boys, one at a time.” She giggled on the other side of the line. “It’s official. Ben asked, and I said yes!”

“This better not be some sick joke Marsh!” Richie sniffled, already getting emotional for her. 

“It’s not, I promise!”

“Not to be the debbie downer, but did your divorce go through that quickly?” Eddie asked, eyeing Richie.

“Well I submitted evidence of domestic abuse, which sure expedites the process. And I got a restraining order against that asshole, so that’s just the icing on top of the cake.”

“Bevvy I’m so fucking happy for you…”

“Thanks Rich.” They could hear her smile through the phone. “So yeah! I know we aren’t decided on a date yet, but we are aiming for January. A nice winter wedding!”

“In Chicago?”

“Well that’s the thing. I got a job offer in Los Angeles so Ben and I were thinking-”

“YES.” Richie screamed, clapping his hands like a seal. “You need to move here so we can hang out like all of the time! I’ll even model for you!”

“Now that’s a deal trashmouth. Oh and just one more thing I wanted to mention, well, ask…”

“Anything Bev, anything. Eds and I are there.” He nodded, Eddie agreeing beside him.

“Well… obviously my dad won’t be there. None of my family will.” Her voice sounded more anxious. “I was hoping you’d do me the honor and walk me down the aisle?”

Eddie’s jaw was nearly touching the coffee table at that point, and Richie had never been so speechless. “M-me?” He croaked. “You want  _ me  _ to do  _ you _ the honor? God, fuck- I’m sorry.” He was weeping now, rubbing his eyes beneath his glasses. “Of course Bev, it would be  _ my  _ honor. God I’m so grateful that you’d pick little ole me.”

“Of course Richie, you’re family. I can’t thank you enough.” She giggled through her own crying. They heard Ben’s voice faintly in the background and some shuffling. “My  _ fiance _ is here to speak with you guys, here he is.”

“Hey guys.” Ben chided, smugly. 

“Benny boy! Big man!” Richie cheered.

“Congrats Ben, we are really happy for you guys.” Eddie smiled, gripping Richie’s shaking hand.

“Thanks so much. Richie, can’t wait to see you walk my girl down the aisle. It wouldn’t be the same if it were anybody else.”

“Trust me, the honor is all mine man.”

“Oh, and Eddie?” Ben sighed, suddenly sounding just as anxious as Beverly had. “I was wondering… if you could-” He chuckled nervously. “It would be  _ my _ honor to have you as my best man.”

Eddie went pale, looking wide eyed at Richie. “R-really?”

“Of course man! Mike will be officiating and Bill has been designated as ring bearer. You’ll all be in the bridal/grooms party and table. But yeah, I want you right there with me.”

“Why me?” Eddie said hoarsely, squeezing Richie’s hand so tight that it almost hurt. 

“Are you serious? You were always there for me man. How could I not have you with me after saving my life from Bowers?”

The name made both Eddie and Richie cringe. “Ben I- I will always be there. I’ll be there, of course, I’ll do it. It’s been said a thousand times but it would, truly, be my honor.” 

“Thanks man, I can’t wait! Well listen, keep eyes on the groupchat. We are all planning to get together sometime to celebrate before then.”

“You’re on Benjamin!” Richie fist pumped into the air. “We’ll leave you two love birds to whatever it is that you guys are doing,  _ not _ in LA. Please come to LA!”

“We’re thinking about it.” Ben laughed. “I’ll definitely keep you updated buddy.”

“Roger that, bye Benny boo!”

“Jesus- bye guys.”

Richie locked his phone and clasped his hands together. “I can’t fucking believe it man, I’m so pumped for those little heteros! I have no clue what to wear but we can figure it out, what do you think is my color Eds? Eds…” His voice trailed off as Eddie let out a body racking sob. His face was still ghost white as he clawed at his neck for air. “Oh my- Eddie? What’s happening?” He frantically scrambled to his feet. “Do you need an inhaler, do you have one in your-”

“No!” He choked out, struggling to breathe through his whimpers. “No. No, no, no-”

“Eddie. Eddie, hey.” Richie gripped him by the shoulders, heart breaking when Eddie tried to pull away. “You need to tell me what’s going on here man! Let me help you.”

“I don’t know!” He panted, cupping his face with his hands. “I’m just overthinking…”

“Overthinking what-”

“Everything!” He shouted, tears painting his face. “I don’t fucking deserve to be Ben’s best man! It’s fucking Ben!” He laughed darkly. “I’m forty and I’ve been a fraud my entire life, I don’t even know who I am anymore! I’m trying but I keep having these thoughts. Everytime I think I’m better and I’m having such a good time, I just think about how I was DEAD. If you hadn’t dragged me out of there I would’ve been down there  _ alone _ .” He looked at Richie with those crushing brown eyes. “I’ve been having nightmares too Rich, and- and they make me realize that I’ve already been alone for so many years, and I don’t want to  _ die _ alone. I don’t want to live alone either. I just don’t want to be alone anymore Richie.”

“C’mere Eds.” Richie sat back down next to him and pulled him into his lap. “You’re not alone. We’re here, and you have people who love you. You’ll never be alone again, no matter how badly you want to get rid of me.” Eddie buried his face into Richie’s neck, shaking and crying quietly. “I’m sorry I’m such a fucking mess. Sometimes I think it’s not even worth it, and maybe it would’ve been easier for everyone if you just left me down there.”

Richie pulled him away from him so he could stare into his eyes, and Eddie was scared of how serious they were. “Don’t. Don’t  _ ever _ say that again okay.”

“Richie-”

“Stop.” Richie’s voice was deadly serious. “I’m not joking, please. Please never ever say that ever a-fucking-gain okay? Promise me, promise me you won’t. Eddie I already told you, leaving you there just wasn’t an option. I was alone for so long too, always feeling like I was missing something. As soon as I saw you again  _ I knew _ that I was willing to fucking die.” Richie’s voice was breaking. “Fuck, I don’t want to be alone either Eds. It literally makes me want to vomit when I think about what would’ve happened if you didn’t make it out of there. If you weren’t so strong.” Richie pulled him close again, squeezing him tightly. “I love you, so fucking much. You don’t have to say it back, just promise me you won’t ever say something like that again. Please.”

“I promise.” Eddie said quietly, relaxing into Richie’s arm, breathing hot air into his neck. “I’m Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Richie rubbed his back gently, planting a kiss to the top of his head. “Let’s just not think about it anymore.” He held Eddie close, relieved to feel him calming down. “We should really talk about getting therapists.”

“I could’ve sworn I was the one who suggested that.” Eddie smiled into his neck. “If you’re serious about this we can look into it after I get done with divorce court. Myra resorted to emailing me, so I need a new phone. And a new job.  _ And _ I need time to get my stuff from her-”

“Hey, one step at a time.” Richie said in a horrible accent that made Eddie laugh despite his small breakdown. “First of all, we can get you a new phone either today or tomorrow. Second, I’m sure that employers are going to be fighting over you. You’re a smart, hardworking, overqualified former risk analyst, and any job would be lucky to have you.”

“Thanks Rich.” Eddie huffed into his neck. “We’ll see I guess.”

“Oh I don’t have to see, I know it’ll happen. And we can also take a trip down to New York in a few days too, I’ll help you get your shit and bring it back here. I need to start getting ready for SNL anyway, it works out. Seems like it’s meant to be, the universe is willing it!”

“Really? You’d do that?”

“Anything you need Eds.” Richie beamed at him. “I’m here for you.”

“Richie.” Eddie breathed out, pressing his lips so firmly against Richie’s, quite literally taking his breath away. “I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry that this took so long to get out! Between Midterms, college, and the Coronavirus, life's been getting crazy!! But now hopefully I'll have some more free time while I refuse to leave my house (:
> 
> As always, any comments and kudos are super appreciated and keep me motivated!
> 
> I hope everyone stays healthy and safe! Thank you for reading, I hope this fic helps take your mind off of the craziness <3


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I just hate myself for staying in that marriage for so long. I thought she was just easy to be with and the idea of being with a guy was so scary. But I was such an idiot for so long, you are literally the easiest person to deal with, no matter how fucking annoying you can be.” Eddie leaned into him, sighing when Richie wrapped his long arms around him.   
> ______________________
> 
> Eddie proceeds with his divorce & Richie meets with SNL

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Some smutty content ahead!  
> -Familial Manipulation if that triggers you

“Eat my dust Eds!”

“Go die.”

“In your dreams.” Richie snorted, his thumbs moving a mile a minute on the controller. “Watch this.” His character flew through the air over Eddie’s and took the remainder of his life away. “Told you I’d kick your ass!” He chuckled victoriously.

Eddie withheld the urge to smack the sly smug off of his face, so he just shook his head and tossed the controller onto the coffee table. “Whatever. You were probably playing this game every day, I haven’t even held a controller in a decade at least. I’m out of practice.”

“Excuses, excuses Eds.”

“Shutup.” Eddie rolled his eyes, stretching his legs out onto Richie’s lap. “Are you done packing for tomorrow?”

For the entire week, Richie couldn’t stop talking about how excited he was to work with SNL. Netflix had already approved his show after their meeting and Richie spent the rest of the week working on his script. “Pretty much. We won’t be there for long, you know that right?”

“It’s only two days.”

“Yeah but you have a thing for overpacking babe.” He laughed, placing his controller down and shutting off the game. Eddie couldn’t help but fluster at the nickname. He’d agreed to be Richie’s “boyfriend” after his small breakdown and an exchange of handjobs. As childish as he thought the label sounded, he did enjoy the newfound intimacy and getting to sleep in Richie’s bed every night.

“So? I like to be prepared! You don’t pack  _ enough.” _

“You pack enough for the both of us!” Richie cackled. “We leave tomorrow, and not even early, yet you still insist on getting to the airport four hours early!”

“We are leaving _ the house _ four hours early, dipshit.” Eddie corrected. “Just in case there’s traffic, or the security line is long, or if you get stopped since your a fucking celebrity!”

“I’ll take my chances if it means you’ll let me sleep a little longer.”

“No way.” Eddie scoffed. “I don’t know how you didn’t miss every single flight before me.”

“Because your whole procedure is a little ridiculous. I still love you though.” Richie tugged him closer to place a wet kiss on his cheek. Eddie shoved him away before wiping it off. 

“You slobber like an animal!” He grimaced, rubbing the residue on Richie’s shirt.

“I am an animal hot stuff.” Richie purred, wiggling his eyebrows comically.

“You’re disgusting.” Eddie retorted, a smirk still evident on his face. He opened his mouth to say more before his phone started vibrating on the coffee table. He picked it up, the smirk slowly vanishing as his lips fixed into a tight line.

“Who is it?” Richie said quietly, knowing that whoever it was, Eddie did not want to talk to them. He sighed, picking it up to his ear slowly.

“My aunt Linda.” He murmured. “Hello?” He answered dully, not even trying to hide his unamusement. “Hey. Uh… yeah we are.” He jerked the phone back from his ear at the sudden loudness flooding from the speaker, even Richie could hear it from where he was sitting. Eddie’s aunt wasn’t far off from his mother. She was scolding him on something, but she was talking so fast he couldn’t make out the words. Talking fast definitely ran in Kaspbrak blood.

“No.” He said, frustrated and turning red. “What? No! I’ve never had an affair. No, I’m not sick. Why? Because I was unhappy in the marriage okay! I’m sorry that all of you are so disappointed, but this is my life. I’m going to get my stuff and drop off some paperwork tomorrow.” She must have said something out of line because Eddie’s face twisted in shock and it looked like he was about to start fuming. “Don’t ever bring up her name again. Yeah well she’s dead. I’m done with this conversation, I’m not changing my mind and I’m not making a mistake.” He hung up without a goodbye, angrily placing it back onto the table.

“So-”

“FUCK!” Eddie screamed, threading his fingers through his hair. “Sorry. I’m sorry, I’m just so done with these fucking people!”

“Hey, it’s alright.” Richie answered softly. “I’m sorry you have so many people breathing down your neck. I know this sucks but I’m here for you.”

“Can I rant to you?”

“Of course.”

“I just hate myself for staying in that marriage for so long. I thought she was just easy to be with and the idea of being with a guy was so scary. But I was such an idiot for so long,  _ you _ are literally the easiest person to deal with, no matter how fucking annoying you can be.” Eddie leaned into him, sighing when Richie wrapped his long arms around him. “I spent my whole life hiding and only doing what’s safe and easy. This is the first risk I’ve taken in so long and it’s so fucking scary. I’m trying to be brave but it’s so hard, especially with my own fucking family harassing me and telling me how much I’m disappointing them.” 

“They are  _ not _ your family.” Richie huffed. “You have actual family Eds, people who love you. And you’re the bravest person I know, so don’t hate yourself.” He rubbed Eddie’s arm gently, smiling down at him. “Keep talking bad about my bestfriend-  _ my boyfriend. _ I’ll kick your ass I swear to God.”

Eddie flushed, burying his face into Richie’s shoulder. “Can you kick Aunt Linda’s ass?”

“I can kick the absolute shit out of Aunt Linda’s ass!” He promised, forcing a laugh out of Eddie. He went into incredible detail about his hypothetical fight with Eddie’s family while Eddie sat in his arms and thought. He thought about how Richie was able to instantly make him feel better, how nothing seemed to matter anymore when he was in Richie’s arms.

“Okay, that’s enough beating up my family.” Eddie yawned. “Can we go to bed?”

“Tired already, Spaghetti?” 

Eddie cringed at the rhyming and the terrible nickname. “Kind of… we can make out in bed until we get more tired.”

“That might be the best idea I’ve ever heard. I’ll race you there!” Richie tossed him onto the couch before breaking out into a sprint, nearly tripping over the coffee table. “If I win, I get to give you a hickey!”

“We did not agree to that!” Eddie yelled, laughing quietly before dashing after him.

Eddie followed Richie’s example in the morning and wore pretty conservative clothing to the airport: sweatpants, sweatshirts, glasses, and a hat. He thought he looked ridiculous but Richie assured him that he was still good enough for Richie to want to rail him in the airport.

He shuffled behind Richie in the security line, silently praying that no one recognized them and that they could quickly get to their gate. Eddie was right, and there wasn’t really a big line to begin with since they were so early. He shrugged the top of his sweatshirt to cover the dark hickey just below his collar bone.

“We board in an hour. I told you we didn’t need to be here too early.” Richie yawned, taking Eddie’s luggage from him, Eddie rolling his eyes. The wait didn’t take long, time moved pretty fast as they both listened to music and went over their plan for after they landed in New York. They agreed that the both of them would get to the hotel, unpack, shower, and then split up. 

Richie had a meeting with SNL to discuss hosting the show, and Eddie had to grab some stuff from his house… well, Myra’s house now. Richie insisted that Eddie should wait to go after his meeting with SNL, for moral support and help with bringing stuff back to the hotel.

But if there was one thing Eddie didn’t want, it was for Richie to ever have to meet Myra. Not only would Eddie probably be super mortified, but Richie didn’t deserve how she would probably treat him. And she certainly did not deserve the privilege of meeting Richie Tozier.

“Richie, we are only on here for six hours, max. Why the fuck did you do this!”

“I wanted us to be comfortable!” Richie said in defense. “Also we’ll have more privacy.”

Eddie huffed at that. “If you think I’m letting you touch me on a dirty plane, you don’t know me at all.” Before leaving he had told Richie that they shouldn't be demonstrating PDA of any kind, but he didn’t expect Richie to go the length of buying extremely expensive tickets to have their own little booth in the plane. 

With a curtain.

“Wow, I’m offended.” Richie scoffed playfully. “I didn’t get these seats to seduce you Eds, I got them so you can rest easy you weirdo.” He closed the curtain behind him, sitting across from Eddie, who refused to fly backwards. “Unless you _ want  _ me to seduce you. Because I’m all for that.” He chuckled at the scowl Eddie threw him, shrugging as he settled into his neck pillow. “Fine. I’m right here if you change your mind. Have you been in the mile high club yet Eds?”

Regardless of Richie’s stupid advances and the overpriced tickets, Eddie was able to get comfortable and contemplate more on how he’d approach Myra. He had given her a heads up that he was coming of course, but he knew it wouldn’t be easy. He had few valuables that he owned, nothing fancy but he still had memorabilia that he needed to rescue. He had already agreed to let her keep the car and the house, and he sighed a prenup before they were married so he wouldn’t be terribly hurt financially. Richie begged him to let him pay for his lawyers, but he refused, saying that this was something that  _ he _ needed to take care of.

The hardest part would most likely be getting her to sign the papers his lawyers had provided, which would expedite the process a lot faster. Thanks to his aunt he did have a small fear that she would claim he was having an affair, which would throw a wrench into the entire process. Not that he’d exactly blame her, since he did disappear under short notice and she hadn’t heard from him until he called her from the hospital to ask for a divorce.

Yeah, he wouldn’t blame her if she hated him. The feeling would be somewhat mutual.

They both practically ran out of the airport, hopping in a taxi towards their hotel. Richie gave the driver the address and slyly reached for Eddie’s hand. He let him grab it, smiling over at him. “You’re gonna be okay, Eds.” He said quietly, giving his hand a squeeze. Eddie nodded at him, squeezing back.

“Jesus Richie, you should at least check the sheets first.” Eddie shook his head at him, smiling lightly as Richie immediately spread himself out on the hotel bed not even two seconds after opening the door. His backpack was tossed onto the floor, containing the few things he packed for the trip, and his long limbs reached every corner of the bed. “Get up Rich, we need to shower before we make the bed any dirtier! Don’t look at me like that, I didn’t mean it that way!”

“Only if you shower with me.” Richie smirked, batting his eyelashes. 

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Fine. If you’re not in here in thirty seconds I’m locking the door.” After an eventful shower, they both laid in the bed with their legs tangled together. “I don’t want to do this.” Eddie murmured, exhaling loudly.

“I can go with you. I really don’t mind.”

“No, you need to go to your meeting and I don’t want to mess that up for you. I just need to get this over with.” Some of his nerves went away when Richie started to place small kisses on his neck. 

“Everything is gonna be fine.” He placed a final kiss just behind his ear before Eddie got up to throw on a shirt and jeans. “Have I ever told you how good you look in jeans?”

“Only every single time I wear jeans.” Eddie laughed. “I’ll see you after your meeting?”

“It shouldn’t take too long, but I’ll keep in touch. If you change your mind, call me and I’ll be there right away. Kay?”

“Yeah. Make sure you dress warm okay, it’s cold out.” Eddie smiled, stopping at the doorway to admire how good Richie looked, half-naked on the bed. “Good luck Rich.”

“You too Eds. Love you!”

Eddie didn’t know if he’d ever stop getting butterflies every time Richie told him that. He opened the door carefully, trying to shake the heat from his face. “Love you too. See you soon.” 

He wasn’t expecting it to take so long to get to his old house, but he should've remembered how bad traffic in New York could get. Even though it was only a short distance from the hotel, the drive took around thirty minutes anyway. He didn’t even bother making the driver wait for him, he knew that the whole ordeal might take longer than a few minutes.

Before he could talk himself down from the front steps, he raised a shaking hand to the doorbell and pressed it firmly. The sound of the bell ringing and loud footsteps made him feel like he desperately needed his inhaler, and he could feel the sweat clamming up his palms. He stood frozen like a deer in the headlights when Myra swung the door open.

“Oh, Eddie.” She choked out, already putting on a show with waterworks. “I’m so glad you’re here!” She stepped out into the cold air, pulling him in for a hug and placing a kiss on his cheek. He nearly gagged at the contact, not believing how he could even stand near her all this time. “Oh honey, your face.” She gasped, reaching for his scarred cheek. He dodged her hand, holding her arm gently.

“Uh… nice to see you too Myra.” He lied, clearing his throat. “Can we talk inside please?”

“Sure, sure.” She nodded, leading him inside. It was strange to be in his own home again, but then again, it never  _ really _ felt like a home. “I was just making us some lunch. Chicken and rice with broccoli. Our favorite!”

“Myra.”

“Just sit sweety, I’ll fix you a plate-”

“Myra.” He tried again, a little more forcefully.

“Eddie bear, please don’t raise your voice. I’ve been preparing all day for you-”

“Myra, stop!” He snapped, taking her aback. “Just stop okay. I’m not staying to eat, I came here to get you to sign these papers and to grab my stuff.”

“Eddie.” She tried, voice wavering slightly. “All I’m asking is-”

“Please!” He laughed in frustration. “I don’t want your food, I want to get this over with.”

“Eddie!” She stammered. “First you completely total one of our cars. Then you disappear for a week to God knows where, you still haven’t told me! I am your wife, and I deserve to know where you are going. I could’ve been there for you in that hospital-”

“I didn’t want you there!” He yelled. “I thought that was clear when I called you asking for a divorce! Now please, for God’s sake can we just settle this so I can go?”

She placed a plate roughly onto the dining table. “You are making a mistake Eddie.” Her eyes were staring daggers into him.

“We’ll have to agree to disagree on that.” He sighed, pulling the papers out of his pocket. “Please sign these.” He placed them down in front of the chair, patting them for emphasis. “I’m going to start grabbing my stuff.” He said as he walked up the stairs, turning the corner to his room. Myra must’ve thought she could somehow convince Eddie to stay because the room was exactly how he left it before he went back to Derry.

He took in the scene: the room he had slept in every night for  _ years _ in the pristine condition he always liked to keep it in. After a few shallow breaths he moved to the closet, tearing out every piece of clothing that he owned. Next, he went to the drawers of their shared dresser and grabbed his important documents: birth certificate, social security, bank statements, etc. Lastly, he dug under the bed, relieved when he felt his box of mementos. He opened the lid, smiling when he saw a collection of his childhood comics, old arcade tokens, and a picture of him and his dad. 

He closed it and carried it with the bag full of clothes, lugging everything down the stairs. Myra’s eyes widened, like she didn’t believe what she was seeing. “Eddie wait. Please, we can talk about this.”

“I’ll fax you a copy of those papers.” He placed his belongings near the front door, sighing as she slammed the papers onto the table. “I need to go, Myra-”

“Where? Back with that comedian?” She huffed, folding her arms.

Eddie stood frozen, time standing still as he processed her words. “What?”

“This sleazy little news site had pictures of you and him at the airport. I thought that maybe it wasn’t true but I recognized the watch.” She pointed at the one still hanging from his wrist. “Why are you hanging out with  _ him? _ ”

“Th-that’s a really long story. What news site did you see this?”

“Eddie, have you seen this man? He is vulgar, he is dirty!”

“For fuck's sake Myra, what news site?” He begged, reaching up to grip his hair in his hands.

“See Eddie, this is exactly what I was talking about. He’s already got you swearing-”

“WHAT NEWS SITE?”

“YOU DON’T NEED TO YELL!” She matched the level of his voice. “And I don’t remember! This is ridiculous, you are acting totally out of line. I’m sure you’re very proud of yourself but this behavior is frightening. And now you’re hanging out with queers?”

“Don’t call him that.” He spat, feeling like that word had a physical effect on him. “Just… give me the papers and I’ll be on my way.”

“Fine.” She snarled back, ripping the papers off of the table and nearly throwing them at him. “You are going to regret this!”

“No.” He opened the door, collecting his things. “I won’t. Goodbye.” He didn’t bother closing it behind him. He flagged down another taxi quickly as she yelled after him. 

“Please don’t do this to me Eddie!” He could hear her cries. “We can work this out, we can get help for you and your friend!”

He gave the driver the name of the hotel and told him to floor it, gripping on to his bags as the house disappeared from sight. Part of him felt sick. He was leaving behind what had been routine for too long, and his wife who was begging for him not to leave her there alone. He could hear his mother’s voice scolding him. 

He dumped his things onto the hotel bed, scattering the papers and clothes. He worked on breathing techniques as he carefully folded everything into his suitcase, packing it until there was no more room. More than anything, he desperately wanted to call Richie just to hear his voice.

But he didn’t, one, want to sound crazy or clingy and, two, he didn’t want to distract Richie from his meeting. The last thing he wanted was to have his mess of a life disrupt Richie’s success. He knew if he called Richie in the frantic, overdramatic state he was in then he wouldn’t hesitate to run back to Eddie.  _ If you change your mind, call me and I’ll be there right away.  _

But Eddie didn’t want that, so he waited as patiently as he could. He was nearly vibrating on the bed by the time Richie flung the door open, already radiating his high energy. “Honey, I’m hoooome!” He sang, his big grin faltering slightly when he saw Eddie. “You okay, Eds?”

“Yeah.” He nodded unconvincingly, trying to steady his voice.

“You sure?” He slowly made his way to the bed, shrugging off his coat before throwing it onto the chair in the corner. “How did it go?”   
  


“Wait. Just- before we talk about this, tell me how things went with you. I don’t want to put a damper on your happiness.”

“Eddie.” Richie said firmly. “Okay, first of all, it would take a lot for you to damper anything in my life. But fine, if that’s what you want I’ll tell you all about it. Then you can rant all you want alright? I promise it won’t damper anything.” He smiled softly at Eddie’s more relaxed nod. “So it went really good. I met with some of the producers and some of the cast, which by the way, they are so much hotter and funny than me. Basically I’m never bringing you there, I can’t have you seeing my competition!” He smiled wider when Eddie let out a small laugh. “And we basically went over a few planned sketch ideas. We will meet again in a few weeks, have a rehearsal or two and then BAM. Time to host!”

“That’s great, Rich.” Eddie pulled him in to place a kiss on his cheek. He tried really hard to look like he was proud of him, because he was, but anxiety was also eating him from the inside.

“It was.” He agreed, returning a kiss softly to Eddie’s lips. “Hey, now it’s your turn.” He grabbed his shaking hands and messaged them gently. “Relax, just tell me what happened.”

“Well she signed the papers.” Eddie sighed, scooting a little closer to his warmth. “So that’s good I guess. She made me food and tried to get me to stay and talk it out but I freaked. I felt a little bad but you should’ve seen her Richie. She tried to manipulate me the  _ entire _ time. So I got my shit and left as soon as she signed them. I don’t ever want to go back.”

“You did great.” Richie rubbed his back. “I’m sorry she tried to do that but you’re smart enough not to fall for it. You don’t ever have to go back, no more worries-”

“She saw a paparazzi photo of us.” Eddie blurted, feeling Richie tense. “At the airport.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. She said she doesn’t remember what site but apparently it was popular enough for her to see it.” Eddie buried his face into Richie’s shoulder. 

“Hang on.” Richie held him even as he fished his phone out of his pocket. With a few searches and clicks, he was easily able to find the picture. “The paps are like vultures.” He laughed, tapping Eddie's shoulder. “Look, here we are.”

The picture was of them standing at the baggage claim once they landed in New York. They stood close to each other, but not too close as if they were anything more than friends. The only thing damming about the photo was the caption attached to it.

_ Comedian Richie Tozier Seen at JFK Airport with New Boyfriend After Coming Out?? _

“We’re fucked.” Eddie huffed. “We didn’t even get to tell the world at  _ our _ discretion. You should fucking sue-”

“Slow down Eds.” Richie laughed, making Eddie slightly more ticked off. “That’s not going to fix anything. Look, you can’t even see your face clearly, and it’s not like we are making out. All it takes is for me to tweet something along the lines of ‘what, can’t gay people have guy friends?’ then boom, I’m a gay icon and the tabloid looks stupid. It’s going to be fine okay?”

Eddie hummed, still unsure.

“Do you trust me?”

Now he wasn’t unsure about that. “Of course. I’m just so stressed about everything today.”

“Want some help with that?” Richie wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. “I know just the thing to help calm you down.”

“Are you serious right now Richie?”

“Lay down Eds.” Richie said quietly. “Let me take care of you.”

Those words haunted Eddie his entire life. His mother and Myra did everything under the disguise of taking care of him. The manipulation, the lies, the guilt, the control, was all to ‘take care of him’. But when Richie said it, Eddie  _ wanted _ it. He wanted him to take care of him, there was just something different about losing control to Richie. He trusted him.

He was pulled out of those thoughts when Richie ran his big hands up his thighs. “Lay back baby.” He repeated, giving him a reassuring smile.

Eddie did as he was told, already getting restless as Richie hovered over him, placing agonizingly slow kisses on his neck. “Don’t be a dick Richie.” He muttered, craning his neck in an attempt to speed up his movements. 

“Just try to relax.” He chuckled at Eddie’s annoyed groan. “You’re so impatient.”

Eddie opened his mouth to retort, but instead let out a yelp at Richie’s blunt teeth nipping at the sensitive skin on his collar bone. “Good thing the paps didn’t catch your hickeys.” He smiled into his neck, tonguing over the one from the previous night. “But you like them, don’t you? You like me leaving proof that you’re mine now?”

“Yes.” Eddie hissed out, writhing underneath him. “I like being yours.”

“Me too baby.” Richie let out a small satisfied moan, kissing over the fresh bite on his skin. “I wish Myra saw them. You should’ve shown her, I wonder what she would’ve said.” He snorted, sucking gently over the wet spot.

_ And now you’re hanging out with queers? _ “Who the fuck cares.” Eddie shivered, clawing at Richie’s back as he tried to grind up against him. “I’m not feeling very relaxed right now.”

Richie got the message, and he reached down to palm him through his jeans. “Jesus Eds, you’re so hard already. I bet I could get you off just like this. We could ruin these jeans-”

“If you don’t stop being a jackass I’ll get myself off.” He scoffed, frustrated and aching as his erection fought angrily against the rough fabric of his jeans.  _ “Please.” _

“I love when you ask nicely.” And with that, Richie helped him kick his jeans off, lifting his weight from on top of him. He slid back further, confusing Eddie until he lowered his head to mouth along Eddie's length through his boxers. 

He let out a choked noise, hands flying to grip Richie’s hair immediately. He and Richie hadn’t tried oral in any sense yet, only getting each other off with their hands. The new sensations made Eddie tremble as Richie’s hot breath made him ache with need.  _ “Ah-” _

“Is this okay?” Richie breathed, looking up at Eddie with those gorgeous eyes, his pupils blown wide. Eddie nodded frantically, his hips twitching up involuntarily.

“Shirt off.” Richie said, smiling at how fast Eddie tore it off of his body, slowly getting used to showing the scarred skin on his chest. He let his eyes wander Eddie’s toned muscles before he returned to the task at hand and pressed a kiss to the tent still restricted by the boxers.

“Shit, Richie, please.” He pleaded, pulling lightly on Richie’s dark curls.

Deciding that he’d been teased enough, Richie pulled him out of his boxers, tongue flicking out to lick around the head before taking him into his mouth. He groaned as Eddie reflexively thrusted more into his mouth. He swallowed around him, trying to take in more each time he bobbed his head down. He pulled off slowly, panting at the delicious weight on his tongue and the sweet moans falling from Eddie’s lips.

“Fuck, you sound so pretty Eds. You like getting sucked off?” 

Eddie would keen loudly when Richie would take him in deeper or when his tongue would tease over the slit, swiping away any precome that threatened to leak out. Richie decided that he could do this forever, or at least until his jaw fell off, because he loved the way Eddie was shaking underneath him. He could probably get off just knowing that Eddie was enjoying his mouth so much.

He pulled off, breath blowing on Eddie’s sensitive head. “You look so fucking good like this. Desperate for more huh?”

Eddie nodded quickly. “Yeah Rich, your mouth feels so fucking good.” He thought about all of the times, the very few times, that he’d been given a blowjob. None of them compared to the way Richie’s hot mouth enveloped him and the way his tongue worked like it was his full-time job to get Eddie off. A job that he was succeeding at very quickly.

“You’re doing so well baby.” Richie gave his jaw a break, pumping Eddie quickly in his hand. “You were so brave today, I’m so proud of you. You’re so good, come on.” He praised, watching Eddie flush a darker shade of red. He could tell he was close by the sweat building on his forehead and the way his thighs would clench with every tug of his cock. “You gonna come for me baby?” He asked, sinking his mouth back down, as far as he could.

“Yes, yes. Fuck, Richie I’m so close-” His cries sounded breathless, thrashing under Richie’s touch. Richie moved his hands to Eddie’s thighs, holding them against the mattress firmly as he continued the fast pace of his mouth, swirling his tongue in all the right places. One more suck just around Eddie’s head was enough for him to come hard into Richie’s mouth, whining loudly with his head tilted towards the ceiling.

Richie hollowed his cheeks to allow for the small jerk of Eddie’s hips, breathing calmly through his nose so that he could swallow the warm liquid sliding down his throat. He carefully swirled his tongue a few more times to make sure that he got everything, releasing him with a pop. “Such a good boy Eds.” Richie panted, smiling at Eddie’s gasp when he squeezed his oversensitive length. 

He placed a kiss on Eddie’s thigh, pulling another jolt from him. “Thanks.” Is all he could murmur as Richie hovered over him again. “I needed that.”

He brushed the sweaty hair out of Eddie’s eyes, reaching down to unbuckle his own pants. “My pleasure. Now just lay there and look pretty so I can get off before I die of blue balls.” He pulled himself lazily out of his pants, already unbearably hard and leaking. It didn’t take him long to come as he jerked off to the sight of Eddie underneath him, all flushed and sweaty. “Fuck.” He gritted his teeth as he painted Eddie’s stomach, creating a little puddle on the tanned skin.

He waited for Eddie to yell at him for making an absolute mess, but he ended up letting out a laugh when Eddie’s eyes fluttered shut instead. “No lecture for getting you messy?”

“Well you let me come in your mouth so I think we’re even.” He said lowly, voice raw from moaning and gasping for air.

“I love you.” Richie whispered, not seeming to be able to stop smiling. 

“Mm. I love you too.” Eddie yawned. “Can we take a shower and go to sleep, I’m super jetlagged.” 

“Not hungry?”

“Not really, but we can order room service if you want.” He peaked up at Richie with one eye, turning his face into the pillow. “Don’t even think about kissing me until you’ve brushed your teeth.”

“Awh, but I thought you loved me?” Richie teased, pulling Eddie towards the bathroom with him. 

“I do. But we’re not there yet.”

After they got cleaned and stripped the bed of the top sheets, Richie decided that he was way too tired to eat too and that the two of them could just have a really nice breakfast in the morning before they left later in the day. They slept completely naked together for the first time, too spent to dig through their bags to put on clothes.

Going to sleep early didn’t exactly cure their jet lag, so when the sun peeked through the curtains of the room, Richie begged to just stay in bed a little longer. “Just let me hold you a little longer.” And Eddie couldn’t say no to that, so they both stayed longer than they should’ve. Breakfast time was long gone by the time they rolled out from underneath the sheets. 

“I feel like more paparazzi are gonna jump out of the bushes.” Richie chuckled, walking quickly with Eddie to the diner a few blocks from their hotel.

“We are in the middle of the city Richie, there are no bushes on this street.”

“Ooo we should go to Central Park later!”

“Our flight is at six.” Eddie reminded him. “It’s another five hours which will land us around eight, California time.”

“Ugh we are gonna be jet-lagged up the ass all over again.” Richie groaned, holding the door open for Eddie. Luckily in the city there was no one going to diners past noon. Most people went to bars or grills around lunchtime, but Richie and Eddie weren’t most people. “You been here before?”

“Uh not exactly.” Eddie slid into the booth across from him, keeping his eyes glued to the door in case of a sudden camera crew. “I met a client here once, but I only ordered a coffee.”

“Mm, talk more business to me Eds, it’s hot.”

“You’re dumb.” Eddie snickered. “And I’ve had enough of business.”

They both ordered waffles and coffee, thankful that the server didn’t seem to recognize Richie. She was a sweet old lady, so both of them were happy that she wasn’t subjected to Richie’s raunchy material. “So no more business?”

“I think so, I’m over it.” Eddie took a long sip of his coffee. “My risk analyst days are over.”

“So what jobs did you end up applying for?” Richie raised his eyebrows as he shoved a giant piece of waffle into his mouth.

“Well I applied to a few hospitals, mostly assistant jobs since I’m not a doctor or anything.”

“You could be.”

“Sure, but I don’t really think I have the passion to go through all of that schooling.” Eddie gave him an unsure smile. He desperately wanted a job, even though his savings were enough to help him for a while and Richie offered plenty of times to be his sugar daddy.

As funny as it was to have Richie beg him to be his trophy husband, the last thing Eddie wanted to do was mooch off of his wealth. To be a burden.

“Well whatever you do, you’ll be great.” Richie returned his smile. He begrudgingly let Eddie pay the bill, shaking his head at his insistence. They made it to the airport early like before, plenty of time to spare as they shuffled through security. Only this time, they managed to avoid being spotted by any paparazzi, and Eddie was able to relax in their nice seats.

Richie clearly didn’t listen to his whole spiel about buying expensive plane tickets, but Eddie felt so calm that he couldn’t care enough to talk his ear off again. By the time they landed, it was only eight like Eddie predicted, but their bodies told them it was more like midnight.

When they pulled up into Richie’s driveway, Eddie was ready to pass out. “Hey sleepy head.” Richie said quietly as they walked to the front door. “Before you knock out on the front lawn I need you to close your eyes, I have a surprise for you.”

“Richie what? I’m exhausted-”

“Please?”

Eddie sighed, closing his eyes and allowing Richie to take his suitcase. “You better not be pranking me right now. I’m tired but I’ll still kick your ass.”

“As cute as that would be, I’m not pranking you. Promise.” Richie grabbed his shoulder and walked him through the door. “It’s in my bedroom.”

“Why did you make me close my eyes at the front door then asshole? I could’ve waited till you just opened the door to the room-”

“Sh.” Richie hushed him, snickering. “I’m gonna take the surprise away if you keep yapping, you ungrateful turd.” Eddie had a lot to say to that, but he kept his eyes shut and his feet shuffling forward as Richie guided him. “Kay, I’m gonna open the door now but no peeking still!”

“You’re such a child…” He said it with a smirk on his face as he couldn’t help but get a little excited as Richie cupped his eyes from behind.

“I’d argue that this is the most adult thing I’ve done in a while.” Richie placed a quick kiss to the top on his head before quickly removing his hands. “Okay, you can look.”

Eddie blinked his eyes open, almost not recognizing the room he was in. The walls were painted a nice beige, replacing the cracked white that Eddie made fun of when he moved in. His furniture was rearranged to accommodate a new giant dresser and wardrobe set. “Richie?”

“I know this is a lot, but you’ve been sleeping in my room lately…” Richie’s voice was quiet, almost uncertain. “Pretty much every night actually. So I bought this shit so you can have your own place to put your clothes. The dressers in the other room aren’t gonna handle all of the new stuff you bought so I just figured-”

“That’s really thoughtful Rich, thank you.” Eddie turned around and wrapped his arms around his waist. “You can stop panicking now, I’m really happy.”

“Happy enough to let me suck you off right here right now?”

“I will slap the shit out of you if you try to touch me, I’m so tired.” Eddie tilted his head up to kiss Richie’s chin softly, tugging him down further to get to his lips next. “How the hell did you even do this while we were gone?”

“I had some moving guys deliver and build it. Mel let them in and helped reorganize the room.”

“She has a key?”

Richie shrugged. “I mean, yeah. I gave it to her a while ago in case of an emergency, I trust her ya know? Is- are you okay with that?”

“It’s okay, I get it.” Eddie nodded, squeezing him a little tighter. “That was nice of her. Maybe she can help you redecorate the rest of the house, she’s got better style than the both of us.”

“I can’t tell if you’re being passive aggressive.”

“I’m not!” Eddie laughed, shaking his head. “Whatever. I kind of have a surprise too.”

“Mm sneaky.” Richie’s eyes lit up. “What is it?”

Eddie let him go and put the suitcase on the bed. “I found these at my house. For the longest time I couldn’t understand why I was so attached to them, but I kept them anyway.” He slid out the small shoebox and pulled out a stack of comic books.

“What, no way!” Richie gasped as he laid them into his hands. “I can’t believe you still have these. I think I left all of mine at my parents’, I wonder if they took them from Derry to Bar Harbor when they moved.” He flipped through one, careful not to rip the old pages.

“You should ask, they might be worth money now.”

“Pft I’m never selling those bad boys.” Richie snorted. “I’ll cover an entire wall with them, it’ll be badass. I can’t believe you kept all this, these are really cool Eds.”

Eddie loved watching the ways that Richie's eyes would light up and his smile would widen whenever he’d flip a page. He enjoyed it so much that he was borderline annoyed when his phone started ringing, ruining the moment. He half expected it to be Myra or another one of his family members calling to harass him about proceeding with the divorce, but it wasn’t. 

He recognized the area code as Los Angeles, but it wasn’t anyone from his contact list. He barely even knew anyone else from LA. He picked up and carefully raised the phone to his ear. “Hello?” Richie’s eyes moved from the comic book in his hand to Eddie, raising an eyebrow.

“Speaking.” Eddie listened intently to whoever was on the phone, so focused that Richie set it down entirely. “Oh… yes of course. When? Yes, that works. Thanks so much, bye.”

“Everything okay?”

Eddie nodded, laughing out the breath he’d been holding. “Yeah. That was the Los Angeles County Medical Center. I’ve been accepted to work in the ER as a part-time managerial assistant.” His face broke out into a sly smile. “I got the job.”

“Babe.” Richie gasped, dragging him closer to him. “That’s so fucking awesome! What did I tell you! I knew you’d get it, I fucking knew it!”

Eddie flushed as he was praised, Richie leaving big wet kisses all over his face. “Yes, yes. You told me so. Okay, stop!” He laughed, letting Richie kiss him deeply once before pushing him away. “I’m gonna let the losers know.”

As soon as Eddie sent the message into the group chat, he was flooded with notifications from everyone saying congratulations. Beverly also let them all know that her and Ben had found a date for the wedding. “They’ve got a date, January 20th Rich!”

“Fucking finally, now I can actually give Netflix the day!” Richie plopped onto the bed, sighing loudly. “I’m super happy for them, but that was a pain in the ass.”

“Don’t rush them.”

“I’m not, I know they are just figuring shit out.” Richie tapped the bed next to him. “Come cuddle with me.” Eddie shook his head and sat down next to him, rubbing his back gently. “Hey Eds?”

“No you still can’t suck me off.”

“Not that!.. Even though I’m still here if you change your mind.” Eddie swatted his back, making him snicker. “Wanna be my date to Ben and Bev's wedding?”

“Richie I love you. But who the fuck else would I be going with?”

“I love when you say you love me and then immediately act like a little shit. It’s a newfound kink of mine. Woah woah, don’t slap me again! So will you be my date?”

“I guess so.” Eddie hummed. “Are we telling them about us?”

“Eventually, I hope. When do you want to?”

Eddie’s heart was beating fast at the thought of having to come out to all of their friends. Rationally, he knew that if they were fine with Richie being gay that they wouldn’t have a problem with Eddie being… whatever he was. “I don’t know. You’re the coming out expert. What should we do?”

“Hmm.” Richie stroked the stubble on his chin. “We can all meet up before the holidays and before you start your job? We were planning something anyway to celebrate Ben and Bev’s engagement so now would be a good time before everyone is busy.”

“Mhm.” 

“ Eds. We don’t have to tell them yet if you don’t want to, I would never push you if you weren’t ready. You know that right?”

“I know.” Eddie swallowed, his hands fidgeting. “I want to… I just don’t know how. I don’t want to steal Ben and Bev’s spotlight, I don’t want to make it all about us. And I don’t want things to get weird in the group-”

“Eddie, baby.” Richie laughed, reaching to grab his hands. “I don’t think I act any different around you. I’ve been in love with you for years, that hasn’t changed. Yeah, maybe I joke more about sucking your dick now-”

“Rich!”

“-but we are the same. Look at Ben and Bev, they aren’t making anything weird. If you don’t want to tell them, we don’t have to. We don’t have to overthink it, okay? We’re not the ones getting married.” Richie smiled.  _ “Not yet.” _

Eddie’s heart swelled, frozen as Richie squeezed his hands and pulled him in for a kiss. The thumping in his heart wasn’t dreadful, thinking about marrying Richie wasn’t dreadful. It was thinking that anyone would be willing to marry Eddie that made him want to vomit.

But before he could send himself into a panic, the doorbell rang, confusing the both of them. “Who the hell is that?” Richie raised a brow, sitting up on the bed.

“I don’t know? This is your house, you tell me!”

“Our house.” Richie corrected. Whether he sensed the short burst of self loathing or not, that made Eddie’s heart flutter in a much more positive way.  _ You can think about living permanently with another person but can’t think about marriage without wanting to puke? You’re all sorts of messed up Kaspbrak. _

He followed Richie to the door, anxious for some reason about who could possibly be out there at night. “Rich, I don’t think you should open it.” He muttered. “It’s late-”

“What the fuck?” He ignored him as he peeked through the peephole. Richie unlocked the door, horrifying Eddie. He tensed up at the loud noise immediately coming from the steps. It took him a while to register that Richie was smiling and that the sounds were just a bunch of children.

“Trick or treat!”

Eddie stood there, utterly confused as Richie complimented their costumes. “Wow, you guys look awesome! I’m so jealous, I wanted to go trick or treating but sadly being an adult is super boring. If I dressed up and begged for candy I’d probably be arrested so enjoy it while it lasts!”

“Oh my god, you’re Richie Tozier!” One of the boys gasped amidst the group's laughter, definitely a little too young to be listening to Richie’s material.

“Yes sir!” Richie did a small bow. “Hey, you kids stay here, I’m gonna go refill some candy.” He slowly closed the door again, turning to Eddie with a wide mouth.

“Did you know it was Halloween?!” Eddie hissed.

“I completely forgot, how the hell did we not notice?!” He laughed, passing Eddie towards the kitchen. “Good thing I horde candy like it’s my fucking job.”

“Rich, I’m about to pass out. Promise me you won’t stay up all night handing out candy to kids. And PLEASE don’t open the door for any clowns, I’m sick of that shit.”

“Hey, don’t fall asleep on me now man! I’m gonna give these kids the good stuff and then I’ll leave the bowl out there. No more personal candy deliveries, no clowns.” He grabbed the bag of candy and a large mixing bowl, opening the door again. “Since you guys are so cool, I’m giving you full-sized stuff, don’t tell!”

Eddie watched them from out of the view of the door, smiling at the kids’ cheers. Richie took a few selfies and signed a few pillowcases, chatting with the small group. “Goodnight guys, don’t tell people where I live alright, I will find you.” He put on a silly yet dark voice, pulling a few laughs. “And remember to be safe, okay. There are some crazy people out, like bad crazy. Check all of your candy for poison and don’t be assholes. Have fun and stay safe.”

Eddie listened to Richie’s little lecture and was astonished about how genuine and serious it was. The kids seemed to listen too, thanking him for the candy and how cool he was. “Don’t scare your parents tonight, go home at a reasonable time. Okay, I’m done being a father now. Be free children!”

Eddie couldn't help but smile as he imagined Richie as a father. Eddie, the guy who not only five minutes ago was panicking about marriage, was thinking about what it would be like to have kids with Richie.  _ All sorts of messed up Kaspbrak. _

“I can’t believe we forgot Halloween Eds.” Richie sighed, pulling him from his thoughts. “Eds?”

“Hm?”

“Shower together before bed?” He smirked, wiggling his brows. Eddie pretended to think it over, knowing damn well what his answer was going to be. At least he didn’t have to panic about that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please enjoy this chapter! I've mapped out kind of how I want the next few chapters to go so hopefully my updates will happen a little faster (: I hope everyone is doing okay during these trying times, please stay safe!
> 
> Any comments or Kudos are super appreciated <3 I love interacting with my readers, your support means everything  
> Stay tuned for more!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You need sunscreen for your face! Okay? It’s two different things! So humor me for fuck’s sake and just pack it.” Eddie held it out with a threatening look in his eyes. The two had a standoff, staring at each other with squinted eyes and tight lips before Richie started laughing again, rolling his eyes dramatically.
> 
> “Fine Eds. Only because I love you and I know that this is your weird, insane way of looking out for me. So thank you babe.”
> 
> _________________
> 
> Richie & Eddie go to Hawaii

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Some angsty moments & Smut  
> (yes I'm sending them to Hawaii... just because we don't get to vacation doesn't mean they can't--- they deserve a break!)

“I told you, you pack way too fucking much.”

“And I told you, you don’t pack enough dipshit!” Eddie angrily threw a small bottle of sunscreen at him. “Put it in your bag Richie I swear to God, it’s Hawaii, you need sunscreen.”

“I already have some!” Richie tossed it back at him, laughing maniacally when Eddie seethed.

“You need sunscreen for your  _ face!  _ Okay? It’s two different things! So humor me for fuck’s sake and just pack it.” Eddie held it out with a threatening look in his eyes. The two had a standoff, staring at each other with squinted eyes and tight lips before Richie started laughing again, rolling his eyes dramatically.

“Fine Eds. Only because I love you and I know that this is your weird, insane way of looking out for me. So thank you babe.” He blew him a kiss from across the bed, reaching forward to grip the bottle. “I’ll wear whatever else you want if you’ll lather it on me.”

“If you keep pissing me off I’ll get my own hotel room.” Eddie muttered, silently continuing his packing. They’d be leaving for Hawaii the next day, and the losers were thrilled to see each other again. This time, thankfully, they wouldn’t be facing a demon clown in a shitty town like Derry. They all decided on Hawaii mainly for Ben and Bev, giving them a small honeymoon before their actual honeymoon. They wanted an adventure, so this mini honeymoon would be a chance for a relaxing vacation before that. Not that any of the other losers had a problem going to Hawaii. Everyone needed a break, time to relax after Derry.

Richie and Eddie had talked about rules for Hawaii. No PDA and no getting too intimate in the room. Until Eddie was certain about telling them, Richie suggested that they even get two separate beds to make it more convincing. They were both caught in a never ending cycle of ‘ _ we should tell them’ _ and _ ‘let’s wait a little bit longer’. _

“We need this.” Richie hummed, circling around the bed to wrap his arms around Eddie’s waist. “It’ll be nice to just get out of here and relax.”

“Yeah. Too bad I won’t let you touch my dick while we’re in that hotel room.”

“That’s cruel.” Richie whined in his hair. “It’s a whole week pretty much, what if we-”

“No.” Eddie stopped him. “We agreed, no fucking shenanigans.”

“Fine.” Richie sighed, planting a soft kiss to the back of his neck. “I still packed lube just in case.”

“You packed lube but not the sunscreen?!”

“Eddie! Who the fuck actually uses a different sunscreen for their face?”

“People who care about their face!” He huffed, spinning in Richie’s arms. “And I’m sorry, but I care about your face. I don’t want it ruined.”

Richie’s heart fluttered at that, his lips quivering before spreading into a wide smile. “Cute, cute, cute. This face is all yours Eds. Speaking of, can I maybe use this face on you one last time tonight? Before Hawaii turns us celibate?” 

“We need to be up early again, it’s another six hour flight.” Eddie checked the time on his watch, biting his lip. “If you hurry up and finish packing maybe I’ll let you touch me in the shower.”

“Ah, a bedtime treat?”

“You’re a pervert Rich.”

“You’re the one getting hard you creep.” Richie bent his knees to press his hips against Eddie’s, both letting out pathetic little noises. “So… that shower-”

“Go.” Eddie pushed him towards the bathroom, legs quickly moving behind him. 

Eddie didn’t even care that Richie bought expensive plane tickets again. If anything he was grateful that they had their own private little booth again, and they spent the entire flight curled up next to one another. 

Richie  _ loved _ to touch Eddie. 

He’d loved touching Eddie ever since they were kids, but now was different. Now he got to kiss him and touch him like never before. So before he had to pretend like he couldn’t touch Eddie, he had to get as much as he could before they landed. “I’m gonna miss you.” He murmured into his ear, nuzzling into his neck. 

Eddie pushed himself back further into Richie’s chest, tilting his head to look at him. “You know we’re going to Hawaii together right?” He smiled, resting his head on his shoulder.

“I know, but I don’t wanna give up touching you. I like getting to kiss you and stuff.”

“Me too.” Eddie sighed, reaching behind him to cup Richie’s cheek. “It’s one week, Rich. And when we’re alone in the room you can still touch me. We just can’t get far because we get loud.”

“ _ You _ get loud.”

“Shutup.” Eddie smacked his cheek lightly. “I just don’t want to take any risks.” Richie knew that Eddie needed time, and that he was nervous about coming out. But he also couldn’t help feeling dejected.

He’d been waiting for Eddie to be his since he was a kid, and now that he had him all he wanted to do was flaunt him. He’d never been so proud to have anything, but now he had Eddie Kaspbrak, after all of this time. “I know Eds.” He said softly, breathing into his soft brown hair. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” It always came so softly from Eddie’s mouth, making Richie feel all sorts of good. He knew it was probably hard for him to say it, Eddie was only used to saying it out of obligation his whole life. But Richie believed him every time, not able to help the butterflies in his stomach and a dumb smile from spreading on his face.

He held him for the rest of the flight, relishing in the soft sighs and snores falling from Eddie’s mouth as he dozed off. He didn’t do it in a creepy way, but Richie loved watching Eddie sleep. It’s one of the few times where Eddie looks so at peace, completely stress free. The little crease on his forehead disappears and his shoulders stop being so tense.

Richie felt like after all of the shit in Derry, the losers definitely needed a vacation. But no one deserved it more than Eddie. Despite his obvious physical wounds, the worst of the group, he had probably the toughest mental struggle. Before Eddie started sleeping with him, Richie had nightmares but at least in real life, he felt better than ever.

He could tell that Eddie was struggling with everything, even if he wasn’t ready to open up about it yet. He still obsessed over the scar on his chest almost like he could still feel the pain, and there was nothing Richie could do to stop it except try his best to distract him. His divorce with Myra hadn’t been the easiest either, and not because he was having regrets, but because his remaining family members wouldn’t stop hounding him. It had to be hard for him to go through something so life changing without the support from anyone in his family. Couple that with moving across the country and coming to terms with the fact that he’s definitely not straight. 

Even if he had the losers, Eddie was still hurt by it all.

“Hey sleeping beauty.” Richie nudged him gently, jostling him awake. “We’re landing soon. You told me to wake you when we had twenty minutes left.”

“I regret that nap.” Eddie groaned, rubbing his eyes like a child and Richie couldn’t help but smile. “I don’t want to be in a pissy mood when we land.”

“Bev and Ben are meeting us at the airport, and their flight was eight hours I think. I don’t even wanna know how long Mike and Bill’s flight was. Pretty sure we’ll all be tired.”

“Yeah but you know I’m a cranky bitch when I’m tired.”

“You’re always a cranky bitch babe.”

“Fuck you.”

They were interrupted by the intercom telling them that they would start their descent towards the runway. Eddie always got a little bit anxious when it came to takeoff and landing. Even when he first flew to LA with Richie, he gripped his hand tightly and focused on deep breaths.

“You should’ve just stayed asleep man.” Richie winced as Eddie’s grip tightened on his hand.

“Don’t remind me.” He swallowed hard, shutting his eyes as the plane gradually came down. He let out a big breath of relief as soon as the wheels touched the ground, leaning his head onto Richie’s shoulder. 

“Can I kiss you one more time before we have to pretend I’ve never tasted those sweet lips of yours?” Richie raised his eyebrows with a hopeful look, crossing his fingers in plain sight.

“You’re insufferable.” Eddie rolled his eyes but leaned in anyway, allowing himself to be pulled into a deep kiss, fighting the urge to slide his tongue into his mouth. “Okay, relax before you pop a boner. You have the sensitivity of a fucking teenager.”

“I always have a boner for you Eds, 24/7. Like the hugest heart boner ever!” He winked. “And you’re one to talk about sensitivity. Do you need to be reminded of last night's shower?  _ Oh Richie! You’re gonna make me come _ -”

Eddie clasped his hand over Richie’s mouth, turning the darkest shade of red he’d ever seen. “Lower your goddamn voice! This is a public plane asshole- GROSS!” He ripped his hand away, Richie’s tongue flicking out of his mouth. “Great, now I need fucking hand sanitizer.” 

“I didn’t hear you complaining about my mouth when it was on yours.”

“That’s because that’s the only thing your mouth is good for.”

“Oh yeah?” Richie chuckled, leaning into Eddie’s ear. “We both know that’s not the  _ only _ thing.”

The whole point of the conversation backfired because it was Eddie who walked off of the plane with an uncomfortable semi in his pants. He got over it quickly, knowing that any moment they could run into Ben and Beverly, and the LAST thing that he wanted was to have an awkward boner when they did.

They picked up their luggage, running into two fans on the way. How they managed to run into more fans at a Hawaiian airport yet dodge all paparazzi in Los Angeles, they didn’t know. Richie was kind enough to stop for a photo, but Eddie always felt queasy when it happened. He understood that he was a public figure, but Eddie was the least public person of the losers, and maybe of the planet. 

Ben was an accomplished architect, Beverly was a successful fashion designer, Bill was a best selling author, Richie was a popular comedian, and Mike… well Mike was one of the smartest and most good looking people on the planet. But Eddie was just Eddie, and he couldn’t help but feel embarrassed at the path his life had taken. Regret was an understatement.

“This is their gate, they should be out any minute.” Richie motioned to the entrance separating them from the plane. He could tell that Eddie was a little nervous, seeing as the last time he’d seen everyone was when he could barely sit up. He shuffled restlessly next to him, and Richie had to fight the urge to hold him close and tell him it was gonna be okay. He did open his mouth to reassure him, but both of their eyes shot to the gate where people started to emerge. 

Beverly’s red hair was the first sign and Richie couldn’t help but smile like an idiot when he saw Ben walking right behind her, his hand placed at the small of her back. Her and Richie locked eyes instantly, and she broke out into a jog. 

“Bevvy! I missed you so-”

“Move trashmouth!” She shoved him aside, arms flying around Eddie’s neck. He lost his balance, nearly sending them both onto the floor but he managed to stabilize them. “God Eddie, I’m so happy to see you. You look great!” She pulled back slightly to place a big kiss on his cheek.

“Thanks Bev.” He smiled warmly, wrapping his arms around her tightly. “I’m really happy to see you too.”

Richie’s heart melted at his two favorite people in the universe hugging each other. He probably would've accidentally made a joke about Bev being all up on his man, but Ben’s gentle hand on his shoulder stopped him. “I guess we’re chopped meat over here huh pal?”

“Thank god you’re here Benny boy. Someone needs to give me attention!” They pulled each other into their own hug, laughing while patting each other’s back like bros. “Hey Beverly, I’m stealing your man!”

He heard Bev sigh and release her hold on Eddie so he could greet Ben. “You wish. He put a ring on it.” She flashed the silver band with a decent sized ruby. 

“Oh wow.” Richie grabbed her hand, studying the ring. “How good was the sex after this one?”

“Jesus Rich.” Eddie murmured, covering his face. 

“Beep beep Richie!” Ben laughed, his face turning a little red.

“Asshole.” Bev punched his shoulder before tossing her arms around his neck. She stood on her tippy toes to nuzzle her face into his neck. “Damn I missed you. So much.”

“Missed you too Marsh. Even though you  _ just _ blew me off for Eds.”

“Well you weren’t the one I almost lost.” Her voice was a whisper and she pulled back to plant a kiss on his cheek too before setting herself back down. “We’re okay now.”

“Anyone know when Mike and Bill are getting here?” Ben asked, wrapping his arms around Beverly now. Richie was glad for the change in subject. 

“Well they are both coming in from Florida, which I think is about a ten hour flight.” He grabbed Eddie’s hand to check his watch. “Hm, they should be here soon. We can all walk to their gate and wait for them?”

“That sounds nice, we can all head to the hotel together then.” Bev clasped her hands excitedly. “I have so many things planned for us, I can’t wait!”

“Tell us on the way.” Eddie sounded excited too. He had never been on vacation let alone Hawaii. He faintly remembers seeing pictures of him at Disneyworld before his dad died, but he was too young to remember anything. His mother would never allow vacations, and even when he went to New York for college he never went anywhere exciting. And to no one’s surprise, Myra wasn’t big on vacationing either.

The four of them made their way to the Florida gate, Richie growing slightly jealous that Ben and Beverly could openly act like a couple while Eddie stood cautiously a few feet away from him. He didn’t know how he’d survive the week. Just in the last hour he had to struggle to not grab Eddie’s hand or kiss him when he walked next to him. Or even crack a revealing joke.

“Well look who it is!” Ben pointed at Bill and Mike, both waiting at the baggage claim near their gate. “You guys get here a little early?”

“It went by pretty quick, but not fast enough.” Mike hugged him tightly. “You know how those long flights are. Unlike some of us who barely had a five hour flight.” He nodded towards Richie and Eddie.

“Yeah screw you guys!” Bill laughed, tossing an arm around Richie with a bag in his hand. Bill moved to Beverly next, squeezing her tightly and congratulating her on the engagement. She showed both men the ring, and Mike patted Ben on the back. “Well done man.”

Both of them finally turned towards Eddie, smiling and opening their arms. “Woah, one at a time fellas.” Eddie held his hands up. Mike got to him first, nearly squeezing the life out of him. 

“So good to see you man. You look good as new!”

“Move Mike.” Bill shoved him out of the way. “He’s right. You do look like a million bucks.”

“Wowza, have you been working on that stutter Big Bill?” Richie gasped in a ridiculous voice.

“Richie!” Eddie hissed. Bill laughed, dropped his arms from around Eddie. 

“Actually I have.” He nodded. “I’ve been going to speech therapy. It’s w-working pretty well so far. Is it getting better?”

“It’s awesome dude.” Richie said genuinely. “Wow look at all of us.”

“All I see are a bunch of losers.” Beverly shrugged with a smile. “Hey, how about we all go to the hotel, unwind and go out for dinner? Fun starts tomorrow when we all shake off this jetlag.”

They made their way to the front of the airport, luggage in hand and catching up on small things. Ben and Bev talked some more about planning the wedding, Bill filled them in on a new book idea, Mike talked about his new job managing a school library, and Eddie was excited to start his new job at the start of the new year. 

“What about you Mr. Hot shot?” Beverly nudged Richie. “How’s SNL and Netflix going? You’re all Twitter is talking about.”

“Oh wouldn’t you like to know.” He winked. “I didn’t know you were Twitter stalking me sweetcheeks. Have to break it to you though, I’m gay.”

“Idiot.” She giggled.

“And how’s the new boyfriend?” Mike laughed, nodding towards Eddie. Eddie’s eyes widened and his face whitened drastically. “Paparazzi will do anything for a scoop huh?” He continued.

“Oh you know it.” Richie laughed, brushing it off as best as he could. “Stupid tabloids got us in New York. I was meeting with SNL and Eds was going to his house to get some more things.” He explained, relieving Eddie.

“I get it man. They’re the worst.” Bill said flawlessly.

“Tell me about it, I should sue.” Richie sighed, his heart rate coming back down.

“How’s everything going with that?” Ben asked Eddie, the group seemingly oblivious to him sweating bullets.

“It’s hard you know. Stressful.” He swallowed. “But things are starting to move along. I’m just ready to relax now.” He mustered a tight smile.

“I know how you feel honey.” Beverly gripped his hand, squeezing it. He squeezed it back, feeling much more comforted that no one brought up the paparazzi photos again. Beverly, Ben and Richie ended up in one taxi while others piled into a different one. The ride wasn’t long from the airport, but that didn’t stop them from goofing around the entire time.

There were times that Richie swore that he and Bev were siblings separated at birth, she knew him in ways that no one else did. She was the one girl other than his mother who he ever felt connected to. And Ben was always so gentle and sincere when he spoke, and Richie never felt like he had to put on a mask for him. He was truly happy that they were happy together.

_ God their kids are going to be gorgeous. _

“Where are we going for dinner?” It was the first non-joke out of Richie’s mouth the entire car ride. Bev did tell them to pack something formal for a _ nice  _ dinner the first night of their vacation, but that’s all she’d said.

“I made reservations for a really nice Seafood and Steak house.” She smiled, humming in delight. “You did remember to pack something nice right?”

“I’m offended.” Richie scoffed. “You know I only wear the most fashionable clothing ever-”

“Please tell me you listened to her…”

“-I did!” He cackled, holding his hands up defensively. “Whatever, you’ll both eat your words. Better watch out that Bevvy doesn’t fall in love with me when she sees how nicely I clean up.”

“Oh I can’t wait.” She snorted. “Last time I saw you in a suit was graduation.”

“And I looked dapper might I say.” He whistled, tossing his arm around her. “But just you wait till your wedding, I’ll be dolled up to the max.”

“Do I get the honor of making your outfit?” She crossed her fingers.

“She’s designing mine.” Ben chuckled. “It’s easier if you just say yes.”

“You’ve got yourself a deal as long as you make me the prettiest maid of honor of all time.” Richie held out his pinkie and she hooked hers around it.

“Deal.” She smiled big. “I can’t wait to have you all there.”

“Can’t wait to be there.” He smiled back. “When we sneak off afterward, Ben won’t have to know.”

“Right.” Ben said sarcastically. “My wife won’t be the one you’re sneaking off with.”

Both of them looked at Richie, and he could tell that they were implying something. “Maybe.” He laughed nervously, not sure how else to respond. “We’ll see.” Thankfully the conversation didn’t continue as they pulled up to the hotel, the other cab right behind them. Everyone gathered in the lobby to get the keys to their rooms. 

They had gotten rooms on the same floor as planned, but they were separated by rooms in between. Bev and Ben were obviously sharing a room but so were Bill and Mike, so Richie and Eddie didn’t feel too weird about their situation.

They had booked a  _ nice _ hotel, one right on the beach and connected to a boardwalk. Beverly explained that she had a lot planned for their time there. When they wouldn’t be hanging out on the beach they would be snorkeling, parasailing, jet skiing, and even getting spa treatments.

“I’m not parasailing with you, we’ll die.” Eddie huffed quietly as the groups broke off to get into their rooms and prepared to go out for dinner. The first day was simple, and everyone was too tired from flying to really do anything except eat and get back to the hotel for some rest.

“C’mon buddy. We need to try the parasailing!” Richie nudged him before sliding his key card into the door. “You don’t trust me?”

“I don’t trust being lifted that high into the air by a goddamn boat- _ oh.”  _ As soon as the door was shut behind them, Richie had him pinned against the door. Eddie moved his arms up to his shoulders to stop him, but he admittedly missed the taste of Richie’s mouth and how it was so easy to melt into each other. “Rich.” He breathed quietly as they pulled apart for air after a long and heated kiss.

“I know, I know.” He panted, gently letting Eddie slide back down against the door. “I just missed touching you. I know it’s only been like an hour but it’s hard keeping my hands off of you. I’m pathetic-”

Eddie gripped him by the collar of his God awful pineapple shirt and tugged him back to his lips. It wasn’t a long kiss, but it was just as hungry. “I’m pathetic too.” He brushed past him to put his suitcase on the bed, carefully laying his outfit for the night onto it. “We are definitely sanitizing these sheets before we sleep in them.”

“We can save that for later.” Richie fished around in his bag, pulling out a covered bag of clothes from the dry cleaners.

“Please tell me that’s not a tuxedo shirt.” Eddie eyed him suspiciously.

“You know, everyone’s lack of trust in my clothing choices hurts my feelings.” He faked a frown. “I’m gonna clean up nice and well for you guys.”

“Whatever, I’m gonna take a quick shower.” Eddie grabbed his clothes to bring with him into the bathroom. “Go wait in Bev’s room when you’re done, she said to meet there.”

“See you then Eds.” Richie gave a thumbs up. “Enjoy your boring shower without me. Dumb rules…” Eddie didn’t get to hear the rest of it as he shut the door with a sigh. He took a moment to gape at the giant jacuzzi tub that was separate from the tall, all glass standing shower. 

The tile was smooth and cold, and the showerhead sprayed from directly above him when he turned it on. The perfect pressure. 

He washed off all of the germs from the airplane and cab, drying his hair before getting dressed. He zipped up a pair of nice black jeans and his father's old belt that he’d recovered from Myra’s house. He took his time carefully buttoning up his green-grey dress shirt. It was a nice pale color, and it made Eddie look tanner than he already was. He also liked that it made his hair look much darker than usual, much closer to Richie’s shade of dark locks.

His hair had grown out significantly since he was released from the hospital. It was much curlier at the tips, spinning off of his head and much harder to tame. He gelled it back slightly, just enough to keep it out of his eyes but not nearly enough as he used to put before he went back to Derry. He brushed his teeth quickly before leaving the room, because some habits never die and Eddie always needed his mouth to taste fresh and feel germ free.

He toyed with his hair for a few more seconds until he was semi content with the way it looked before grabbing his key card and heading towards Beverly’s room. He knocked a few times before Mike opened the door. “Hey Eddie, you look great!” He smiled and moved out of the way so he could come in.

“Thanks Mike, you’re looking good yourself.” He wasn’t lying, Mike was sporting a salmon pink button up much like Eddie’s with dark blue jeans. He took a second to look again when Mike turned around, realizing that Richie’s jokes about Mike being hot weren’t far from the truth. He figured he could see it now that he was coming to terms with the fact that he was attracted to men.

And Mike was looking very attractive. 

Ben was wearing a nice grey button up with a dark blue blazer hugging his shoulders, and Bill was wearing a black sweater with a dark grey vest. Okay maybe all of the guys were looking very attractive.

“Eddie!” Beverly pulled him into another hug. “Look at all these handsome men in my room.” She gazed around the room, looking gorgeous in her own red skirt, matching her lipstick. Eddie might be attracted to the men in the room, but he’d be lying if he said that Bev didn’t look absolutely stunning.

“How many times do I have to say that the Hanscom-Marsh kids are going to be unfairly good looking?” Richie’s voice right behind Eddie surprised him. “They are going to be models out of the womb, yet I looked like a sewer rat up until I was thirty.”

Eddie turned around to make a snide comment but the air was literally stolen from his lungs when he saw Richie. He was wearing dark blue jeans like Mike and a jet black V-neck that matched his hair and made his eyes pop. His hair was slicked back slightly and his curls rested nicely against his ears, looking somehow wild and tame at the same time. He had a light grey blazer sitting on his shoulders with the sleeves rolled up, revealing his massive forearms. Damn did he look good, and Eddie couldn’t stop scanning his body up and down.

“Until you were thirty?” Bill chimed in. “What would you call what you look like now?”

Richie threw him a middle finger. “F-f-fuck you too Bill.” He shot back with a grin. Bill choked on his water, making a throaty laugh leave Richie’s mouth, sounding almost as beautiful as he looked. He finally turned his eyes down to Eddie, looking him over. “Wow Eduardo, you sure know how to rock that color.” His hand went to fiddle with the buttons on Eddie’s shirt.

Eddie swatted him away, taking a step back when he realized how close they were standing. “You don’t look half bad yourself. Small upgrade from sewer rat.”

“I think you look amazing Rich. Don’t listen to them.” Beverly rubbed his shoulder, shooting a look at Eddie and Bill. “If I wasn’t engaged you might stand a chance.”

“I’ll take that terrible compliment.” Richie placed a kiss on top of her head. “Fine I get it, everyone here is super hot now can we go so I can eat my feelings?”   
  


“The restaurant is on the boardwalk so we don’t need to drive anywhere. Weather is beautiful!” Ben stole Beverly away from Richie, wrapping his big arms around her. He walked with her in hand, leading the group down the elevator and onto the boardwalk. 

“You weren’t kidding.” Mike inhaled the fresh air, eyes closing at the warm breeze from the ocean enveloping them. “Derry got too cold, Florida is sometimes too hot. But this… this is perfect.”

“It was Richie’s idea.” Ben nodded. “And a good one.”

“He doesn’t have many of those.” Eddie smiled up at him. “We just got lucky.”

Richie threw his arm around his shoulders, laughing despite himself. “Wow. You guys are showing a lot of appreciation for my good idea. If I could I’d send all of your asses back on a plane, ungrateful bastards.”

“Oh stop it.” Beverly tossed him a look over her shoulder. “We’re going to have so much fun.”

“Yeah man, we are super grateful.” Ben winked at him.

“At least you two appreciate me. If it’s not too late we can get three way married-”

“Beep beep Richie.” Everyone said it simultaneously before breaking out into laughter. Ben and Beverly continued to lead the pack, deep in conversation about something while Bill and Mike were behind them pointing at the stars. 

Richie and Eddie trailed behind them, Richie’s long arm still draped over his shoulders. Eddie didn’t even care if it broke his rules, he liked having Richie close to him again. And it wasn’t like they were making out or anything. “Hey.” Richie’s voice was hushed, leaning into Eddie’s ear. “You look really good.”

“You too.” Eddie raised his hand to Richie’s lower back. “Very handsome. It was a struggle to not put my hands all over you.”

“Mm. Don’t make me horny right now.” He answered lowly, dragging them to catch up with the group. The restaurant was maybe a ten minute walk at most from the hotel, and thankfully it wasn’t packed.

Beverly made reservations anyway, and soon they were all cheering to the losers club, glasses clinking in hand. “I’m so happy we are all here to relax and enjoy a dinner together for once!” She raised her glass again. “But let’s not forget that Stanley isn’t here. I don’t want to make this sad but we need to promise to never forget him again.”

They all quietly clinked their glasses in a moment of silence for their friend. A promise to never forget what he meant to all of them. 

They all caught up with minor details of their lives over dinner, Richie taking the opportunity to test some of his material on his friends. Mike, Ben, and Richie went the steak route while the others indulged in the seafood. The food was as good as you’d hope for from a five star restaurant, and the group argued back and forth who would be paying for the expensive meal.

“Don’t make me fight a girl Bevvy.” Richie pointed his fork at her.

“Bring it on bitch.” She scoffed. “Ben and I are paying. We made the reservations, this is our treat.”

“My steak was very expensive. I-I’m paying for mine at least.” Bill insisted, earning glares from Beverly and Richie.

“Me too. This lobster wasn’t cheap either.” Eddie pointed down at his giant plate of lobster and pasta. “Don’t even fucking start Richie, you and Bev can hash out the rest but I’m not budging.”

“I’m not going to even complain about people wanting to pay for me.” Mike laughed. “Hey Eddie, I thought you were allergic to shellfish?”

“ _Allergic_.” Eddie emphasized with air quotes. “Eleven year old Eddie Kaspbrak missed out on a lot. You’d be surprised how many allergies I  _ don’t _ have.”

“Are you still a health nut though?” Ben smirked, almost like he was reminiscing. 

“Oh he eats terribly now, I’m a bad influence.” Richie laughed. “But he evens it out with his runs. You don’t look like  _ that _ when you’re forty unless you wake up at the crack of dawn every day to work out. Well… unless you’re Ben. Then you just probably magically become hot.”

“I’ll stop you right there.” Ben snorted. “I worked hard for this-”

“Oh yeah? How about you Mikey, did you work hard for your bod?”

“Uh…” Mike flushed with a sheepish smile. “Not really-”

“See!” Richie crossed his arms. “Life is unfair.”

“You all look amazing.” Bev assured them. “It’s not a competition.”

“Good, cause if it was I’d lose.” Richie’s eyebrows went up. “Unless we’re measuring something else…”

“No no no.” Bill shushed him, looking around them to make sure no other tables were disturbed by Richie’s loud, unfiltered mouth. “Eddie, why don’t you just take Richie on a run with you?”

“Yeah right!” He barked. “He couldn’t keep up with me even if he tried.”

“You’re not overworking yourself right?” Beverly asked with a hint of concern. “Please tell me that you fully recovered first.”

“Promise.” He held his hands up in defense. “I waited longer than recommended actually.”

“Either way, you recovered quickly.” Bill held up his glass. “Cheers to your strength.”

“Thanks Bill.” Eddie said bashfully. “Doctors couldn’t believe it really.”

“You’re a secret super human.” Ben held his glass up too before taking a drink. “That’s the only explanation.”

“Actually-” Mike cleared his throat, shifting in his seat lightly when all eyes turned to him. “-I have a theory. About how you were able to recover so fast.”

“Let’s hear it.” Eddie crossed his arms, an eyebrow lifting in interest.

“I don’t think we need to talk about this right now.” Richie laughed nervously, an unsettled churning in his stomach.  _ Please let’s not talk about this right now. _

“You’re right, I don’t want to ruin the mood-”

“No.” Eddie glared at Richie. “I want to hear it.”

No one else said anything, eyes looking around at each other silently. “C’mon Mike I want to know why I was able to come back from that shit!”

“Okay okay.” He said lowly. “Well, after we killed IT, our scars disappeared right? The one from when we made the oath as kids. And the next day after that, our cuts and bruises were gone too. I can’t be the only one who noticed it.”

“I did too.” Beverly said quietly, listening intently. 

“I don’t know why or how, but after we won something was restored I guess.” He continued. “Eddie’s wounds were so severe, he should’ve been in the hospital way longer but he was able to leave much sooner than everyone expected.”

“They said they’d never seen anything like it.” Eddie huffed. “I thought it was flattering at the time. They said if I was admitted any later-”

“Alright we get it.” Richie stammered loudly, cutting through the quiet voices.

Eddie blatantly ignored him, his eyes still on Mike. “Be honest Mike, do you think I would have had any shot of surviving if this theory wasn’t true?”

“You don’t have to answer that Mikey.” Richie hissed.

“Yes you do.” Eddie turned his attention to Richie. “You don’t get to make that decision. I deserve to know. Mike?” 

“I don’t think so Eddie.” Mike answered seriously, eyes flicking back down to his plate.

“I don’t know why you’re saying that!” Richie slammed his fist on the table, jolting everyone. “If you thought he was going to die anyway then why did you help me drag him out?”

“Because  _ you _ were threatening to die down there with me asshole! What was he supposed to do?” Eddie slammed his fist too. “Everyone else got the hell out of there because they knew there was no shot, we didn’t know about Mike’s theory at the time! I don’t blame them-”

“You recovered because you’re a fighter Eddie, not because of fucking magic. You didn’t survive a goddamn monster for us to thank some Harry Potter bullshit!” Richie threw his napkin onto the table. “I can’t be here right now…” He stood up abruptly, asking the nearest waiter for directions to the bathroom. He busted through the doors, heaving over the sink like it was hard to breathe. After a few minutes of standing silently with his eyes closed he threw some cold water onto his face. He took a few deep breaths, more like gasps really, and stared at himself in the mirror.

“Rich?” The door opened gently, and Ben’s head poked in. “You okay buddy?”

“Peachy.” Richie wheezed. “Just fucking peachy.”

“Everyone’s wrapping up. You want us to pack the rest of your food-”

“Do you think Eddie would’ve had any shot if what Mike is saying wasn’t true?” Richie interrupted him, still looking at his reflection intently. 

“What does it matter? Eddie is here with us and you are being a little selfish right now.” Ben shook his head. “Richie I’m sorry, I know it sucks. None of us want to think about losing him but he deserves answers. This was the hardest on him, and you need to remember that, no matter how  _ you _ feel.”

Richie was quiet for a moment, biting his lip before turning to him. “Yeah. You’re right, I’m being a dick. It’s just- whenever I think about it it’s almost like I’m back there. Watching him die in my arms, and I want him to be alive because he fought for it. We all fought.”

“Why can’t it be both? Sure, if Mike’s right then he was able to recover faster, but it’s not like there wasn’t a hole in his chest anymore.  _ He _ recovered from that. So can you come back out and have fun with the rest of us? Bev is challenging everyone to an arm wrestle and I’m scared she’ll hurt someone.”

Richie chuckled lightly. “Yeah I’ll be right out, gimme a few?” 

“Sure man. We’ll be waiting.” 

“Thanks Ben. You need to whip me into shape more often.”

“Anytime.” Ben stopped at the door. “I’m serious though, have an ambulance on speed dial. That woman is just as competitive as she was when we were kids.” He made his way back to the table, leaving Richie to calm down a little more. 

“Is he okay babe?” Beverly asked, head popping up when he sat back down. 

“He’s fine, just calming down a little.”

“I didn’t mean to upset him.” Eddie looked down at the table, feeling like he was the one being slightly selfish.

“No, I shouldn’t have brought it up.” Mike sighed. “My fault, I’m sorry guys.”

“It’s no one’s fault.” Ben assured them. “It’s a sensitive topic. When he feels, he feels hard. We all know that his heart’s in the right place.”

“I know.” Eddie hummed. “I keep saying we should go to therapy.”

“Oh I’m already going. Like real therapy not sp-speech therapy. Mike is too.” Bill chimed, shrugging as Mike nodded along.

“Me too. Ben and I looked for one as soon as we left Derry.” Bev rubbed Ben’s arm. “Maybe you and Richie should look into it.”

“We will.” It was all he could say before Richie came back, hands in his pockets and bouncing his leg.

“Sorry for being such an ass, guys.” He pursed his lips. “I let the mouth do the talking without the brain doing the thinking. I got upset and I ruined dinner-”

“You didn’t ruin anything dipshit.” Eddie rolled his eyes. “Sure, we had a moment… but that was the best meal I’ve ever had. Your apology for being an ass is accepted.” He finished it with a little smirk.

“Don’t make me cry Eds.” 

“How about we pay the bill and go look at the stars on the beach?” Beverly nodded to Richie’s empty seat. “Then I think it’s time to clock out, we’ve got a fun day planned tomorrow.”

“Oh, the waitress over there said to just pay up front when we are done.” Richie pointed towards the door. The group, satisfied with the meal and slightly buzzed from drinking, made their way towards the door to pay.

“Thank you for the generous tip sir.” The lady up front thanked Richie, confusing the group.

“You bastard.” Beverly pointed a finger at him. “You paid already!”

“Yep,  _ huge _ tip too.” He added with a shit eating grin, running out of the front door before she could catch him. She quickly chased after him, nearly diving off of the boardwalk and onto the sand. He kicked off his shoes, booking it towards the water and she followed.

“Woah woah, Bevvy we can talk about this-” He turned to reason with her but she tackled him to the sand, sending them both to the ground.

“I said I was paying!” She smacked him upside the head lightly as he laughed maniacally underneath her.

“Chill, chill!” He giggled, rolling them over so he could stop her assault.

“Idiots.” Eddie smiled, picking up Richie’s scattered shoes and socks that were thrown along the sand. He watched as the two finally ceased their fight, laying on their backs and facing the sky. “Jesus they are gonna get sand everywhere.”

“I’ve never seen Beverly so playful and free.” Ben grinned. “Almost makes me want to punch Richie in the face.”

“You’re so whipped.” Bill slapped his shoulder. “Good for you guys.”

Eddie carefully took off his own shoes as the rest of them walked down the beach, all enjoying the cool ocean breeze mixing with the warm night air. “This is a perfect place to watch stars.” Mike pointed to the sky where it was clear as day.

“I want to collect some shells.” Beverly took Ben’s hand to stand up, dusting the sand off of her dress. They both walked along the water, using their phones as flashlights to search the sand. Bill and Mike sat closer to the water, pointing out different shapes and lights in the sky.

Eddie carefully knelt beside Richie before sitting gently so as to not kick sand all over himself. “Hey.” He smiled down at Richie who was still lying flat on his back with his hands behind his head. 

“Hey gorgeous.” He answered quietly, a soft grin spreading on his face. “Come to watch these lovely stars with me?”

“Sure. But I’m not laying down with you, I don’t want sand in my hair.” He looked up to the sky, relishing in the silence and warm air. “Are you feeling okay?”

“That’s my line Eds.” Richie snickered. “I’m okay. Sorry for losing my cool.”

“I shouldn’t have pushed it.” He sighed. “I didn’t consider how it might’ve made you feel.”

“That doesn’t matter, I shouldn’t have been selfish. You deserve to have any and all of the answers that you want.”

“It’s not selfish, Rich. You suffered from this too.”

“Yeah but you’re the one who got hurt.” Richie chewed on his lip. “I guess I just didn’t want to accept that you might not have made it in another scenario. I fucking hate thinking about it.”

“Then don’t.” Eddie looked back down at him. “I got my answers. We don’t have to think about it anymore, we can finally move on. I mean… maybe we should seriously get therapists but for now, we can just relax.”

“God I really want to kiss you right now.”

“When we get back to the room you can kiss me all you want.”

Richie hummed, closing his eyes briefly. “I love you.” It was a soft whisper, and if Eddie wasn’t only focusing on Richie he probably wouldn’t have heard it. 

“I love you too.” He whispered it back, brushing some of the sand out of Richie’s hair.

“Hey boys, we’re gonna head back to the room.” Bev yawned, an arm hooked over Ben’s neck. “But don’t let us stop you from having some more fun, we’re just so exhausted from the flight.”

“I’d call you lame but I’m wiped too.” Richie stretched, flinging sand everywhere. “When did we get so old?”

“Richie!” Eddie shielded himself from the sand. “Let’s just go back before this sand lives on my skin forever.”

“Hey guys, we are gonna explore a little longer!” Mike yelled from a few meters away. “See you in the morning?”

“Sounds good!” She yelled back, giving a thumbs up with her other arm. “God, don’t they get tired of exploring? We can’t let them think we’re getting old.”

“Get up old man.” Eddie stood up, holding his arms out for Richie. “Have to tuck you in and give you your medicine.”

“Fuck you Eds.” Richie still grabbed his hands, grunting as he got onto his feet, barely making an effort to dust the sand off of him. “Carry me back up to the room?”

“Yeah right.” Eddie shook his head. “I may be in shape but I’m not risking breaking my back.”

“Wow. So now I’m fat? Ben can you believe this shit?”

“Wow. Are you asking me because I was fat?” Ben mocked, laughing at Richie’s shocked face.

“You got me there Benny boy.” He gave a slow clap for good measure. “Since you aren’t fat anymore, care to give this old man a piggyback ride?” He meant it as a joke obviously, but gasped when Ben compliantly turned around and bent his knees. “Holy shit is it my birthday?” He hopped onto his back, impressed by how strong he was. “Look Bevvy, I’m  _ riding _ your fiance!” He flashed an evil grin, giggling as Ben picked up the pace towards the hotel.

“Oh hell no.” Bev hissed, grabbing Eddie’s arm. “Let me get on your back, we can’t let them win.” Eddie didn’t dare say no, and soon enough he was quickly running after Ben with her on his back. The sand masked the quick movement of his feet as he flew by them, laughing at Richie’s surprised shouts and Ben’s noises of confusion. He made it all the way to the boardwalk before Beverly told him to stop, wheezing from laughter. He set her down, turning around himself only to almost double over from his own fit of laughter. 

Big strong Ben looked like a newborn baby deer as he tried to run across the sand, feet unsteady and legs wobbling. It didn’t help that Richie was hysterically laughing on his back, his long limbs sending off Ben’s balance even more.

“This is not fair, Eddie’s a runner and Bev weighs nothing! And this damn sand-” Ben collapsed with Richie on top of him, laughing through his labored breathing. “Alright babe, you and Eddie win this time.”

Beverly pumped her fist into the air in victory and raised Eddie’s along with it for a second cheer. “Champions!”

“What do we win?” Eddie laughed, trying to get his breathing back to normal. She looked around, thinking before a smug smirk spread across her face. She skipped over to Ben, putting her shoes back on as she waltzed towards him.

“Losers give the winners a piggyback ride!”

“ _ Technically  _ we are all losers.” Richie refuted. Ben shoved him a little, letting Beverly hop onto his back. He tucked his arms gently around her legs, hoisting her up higher.

“Fair is fair Richie.” He winked. “I’m not racing this time.” They set off, padding down the boardwalk, lit only by the lights of restaurants and shops. 

Richie popped his lips, turning to Eddie. “Sorry Eds, you have to be this tall to ride this ride.” He held his hand out just above Eddie’s head, laughing when he swatted it away. “Kidding, hop on cutie.” He bent his knees, waiting patiently for Eddie to get on.

After a few moments of watching him wait, Eddie sighed. “This is ridiculous.” He slowly let Richie lift him up, arms wrapped tightly around his neck. They set out after Ben and Beverly, taking their time getting back to the hotel.

“You know, I’m oddly turned on right now.” Richie snickered, kissing Eddie’s arm softly where it was laying against his collar bone. “I can’t fucking wait to get to this hotel, you can ride me some more.”

“Shutup weirdo.” Eddie huffed, adjusting his hold on Richie so he wouldn’t slide off.

“You’re the one riding me like a goddamn cowboy.” Richie’s grip on his legs tightened considerably. “Is that your gun in your pants or are just happy to see me-”

“Rich.” Eddie hissed, clasping a hand over his mouth. “Just get. To the fucking. Hotel.”

He had Deja Voo the minute they stepped into the room, writhing against the door as Richie attacked his neck. His knee jutted out in between Eddie’s legs to lift him higher against the door, letting his hands roam up and down his buttoned shirt. He felt hot, slowly losing his mind as Eddie slipped his tongue into his mouth. “You’re so beautiful.” He breathed, gripping Eddie’s hair gently to turn his face to his. “So fucking handsome, and pretty, and- God you’re just everything Eds. Hot, cute, gorgeous, sexy.”

“You’re hot too.” Eddie smiled, his tongue flicking out to lick his slightly swollen lips. “But you kind of taste like sand.”

Richie tilted his head back with a laugh, the sounds making Eddie’s heart flutter. “Before this goes too far we should shower. You go first so I don’t leave sand everywhere for you.”

“No.” Eddie said, nearly  _ whined. _ “Come with me.”

Richie’s stomach swooped, and he loosened his tight grip on him. “Eddie your rules.” He reminded him. “You said-”

“I know what I fucking said!” Eddie spat. “I just- I want to shower with you okay, I don’t want to stop touching you.” Richie just looked at him intently, searching his eyes for any hesitation or doubt. But he found none. He knew that he was clingy, and it was something that he thought would aggravate Eddie: the constant touching, the constant pet names.

But what he finally realized over the weeks was that Eddie was just as touch starved and desperate for attention. No matter how many times he denied it or told Richie to fuck off: he  _ loved _ being touched, and he even loved the pet names.

“Please.” Eddie whispered when he saw Richie thinking.

“Okay sweetheart.” Richie said quietly, petting his hair gently. “Let’s go.” It never took much for him to give into Eddie, especially when he was asking nicely. It was a surprise to him that not even Eddie Kaspbrak was above begging. He watched as Eddie dragged him to the bathroom, not even turning on the light before he started to pull at the buttons on his shirt, undoing them quickly.

“Woah.” Richie said as he flipped the switch, illuminating the giant bathtub and standing shower. “I think I underestimated the size of this tub when I saw pictures online.” 

“I’m really going to need you to stop talking for three seconds and get undressed.” Eddie pulled him by his collar, helping him shove off the blazer. “I don’t have the patience to wait for a fucking bath right now. Plus it’s probably filthy from a bunch of people sitting in it…” He rambled on, fiddling with Richie’s belt as he kissed his neck.

“That’s a shame.” Richie whimpered at Eddie’s harsh tugs at his pants. “I brought some cleaner.”

Eddie stopped his movements, letting out a huff of laughter into Richie’s neck. “You packed  _ lube _ and stuff to clean but not sunscreen for your face?”

“Essentials babe.” Richie smiled, tilting Eddie’s chin up to reach his lips. “I know you like your handjobs slippery and everything squeaky clean. But don’t get me started on you and your damn face sunscreen-”

“We are  _ not _ having this conversation again.” Eddie slid the belt out of Richie's pants roughly before kicking his own off. “Now hurry up and get naked.” 

Richie followed him quickly, immediately pressing him against the wall like he did against the door. “Fuck you’re so hot. How is it even possible to be this hot?”

“Don’t flatter me when Mike and Ben were standing right there.”

Richie grinded against his thigh, pulling low groans from them both. “No baby, no one compares to you. They are hot but you’re like- you’re like a whole other level of hot. Like a spicy hot. My spicy hot spaghetti-”

“Didn’t we discuss you calling me that when we are doing stuff?”

“Doing stuff? C’mon don’t be such a prude!” Richie kissed his neck gently, careful not to leave marks. “Fine, I won’t call you it while we are doing  _ stuff _ . But I stand by what I said, way hotter than Mike and Ben. If you could tone it down that’d be cool, it’s getting hard to keep my hands to myself.”

“Me too.” Eddie panted, desperately trying to get Richie to keep touching him. “You looked so good tonight Rich, I almost lost my shit.  _ Please _ wear that v-neck again.”

“Sure.” He chuckled. “Not sure what that was doing for you with all of that hotness in the room. Just a bunch of hunks and a sewer rat  _ woah- _ ” He winced at the fingers harshly gripping at his hair, tugging him to his level.

“Fuck them.” Eddie hissed. “You’re an idiot. You’re so damn hot and you don’t even realize it.” He pulled Richie down to his lips, clacking teeth in a sort of painful but heated kiss. Neither of them cared about anything else but the feeling of each other's skin under the hot water, cascading down on them with just enough pressure. “I’m serious Richie, you are not ugly. You’ve literally never been ugly, and you certainly aren’t now.”

“If you keep saying that I’m gonna explode Eds.” His laugh was shaky and nearly caught in his throat. He hummed as Eddie silenced him with another aggressive kiss. Eddie was brave, and he was bossy. But he was still shy when it came to initiating anything intimate.

Normally, he’d drop a hint to Richie that he needed attention, and Richie was glad to give him whatever he wanted. All he ever hoped for since he was a kid was to give Eddie anything and everything he wanted. 

He had gotten bolder with pulling Richie in for a kiss and starting a heated makeout, and there were even select times where Eddie would actually  _ ask _ for Richie to put his mouth on him. And Richie was always happy to do it.

But now was different as Eddie slowly maneuvered them to push Richie against the cool tiles, sinking down to his knees. Richie was speechless as he kissed down his thighs, twitching near his face. “Hey baby?” He swallowed hard, pushing against the tile behind him. “I think this is breaking your rules…”

“Hey Rich?” Eddie mimicked his squeak, smiling up at him and making Richie choke a little bit. “I don’t fucking care, okay?” He slid his hand up to tentatively grab Richie’s cock, pumping it gently. He groaned against the tile, not able to tear his eyes away as he watched Eddie place small kisses along the inside of his thigh, his big brown doe eyes not breaking eye contact.

Richie’s knees felt weak and his heart was pounding against his ribcage, the unbearable ache of arousal flooding all of his senses. Eddie had never felt confident enough to go down on Richie, which was never a problem. Richie’s favorite new hobby was blowing Eddie, so much that he never dared to ask for the favor in return.

He learned quickly that he didn’t need to ask when Eddie placed a feather light kiss to his leaking tip. “Oh fuck!” He gasped, hands flying to Eddie’s head out of reflex. “Eds, you don’t have to-”

Eddie let a noise of frustration leave his nose before closing his mouth around the tip, hollowing his cheeks to accommodate for the long, thick, intrusion. He licked around the head, taking his time with bringing more into his mouth. “Eddie, baby-  _ jesus _ …” His hips unwillingly jolted, sinking into his mouth more.

Eddie put his hands on Richie’s thighs, slowly taking him inch by inch as his tongue massaged the underside. He pulled back a little, Richie’s cock leaving his mouth with an audible pop. “Holy fucking sh-shit.” Richie cursed out as Eddie dragged the flat of his tongue across him.

“You’re so big.” Eddie rasped, his voice rough from working his throat open. “Do you know how long it’s going to take before I’ll be able to deep throat this thing?” He flicked his wrist slowly, the way he knew Richie liked it. 

He wasn’t entirely sure if he’d like giving a blowjob. The process seemed dirty and a hassle, but he knew how good it felt and wanted to do it just to please Richie. It’s why he was so shocked when he began to really enjoy the feeling of him entering his mouth, Richie’s precome a sweet and salty shock to his tongue. Even more than that, the low groans and curses being pulled from Richie’s mouth were rewarding. He liked it so much that he was incredibly hard himself, understanding why Richie would grind his hips against the mattress when he went down on him. 

If he had to pick his favorite sound, it would be between Richie’s loud laugh and the way he would whine when Eddie would suck a little harder around his tip. “Eds… fuck baby. So-  _ shit _ … so good, so f-fucking good…” His hips would rut deeper into Eddie’s mouth accidentally, his fingers curling tightly in the wet mess of hair.

Eddie took him deeper into his mouth, humming just a little bit like Richie would do to him sometimes. The jerk of Richie’s hips spurred him on, going just a little bit further and finally feeling the tip hit the back of his throat. He pulled off with an obscene noise, gasping lightly for air. He held tightly the portion that he couldn’t fit in his mouth, giving it a tentative squeeze. “Is it good?” He asked, peering up with slightly watery eyes.

“So fucking good baby.” He nodded, brushing some of the hair out of Eddie’s eyes. “God, you look so damn pretty down there. Lips spread so nicely, shit Eds. Where did you learn how to suck dick so good?”

Eddie whimpered silently, a rush of heat churning in his stomach. “I may have done some research.” He lazily pumped him as the water fell down his face and off of his chin. “I wanted to make it feel good.”

“Research huh?” Richie chuckled darkly, his throat bobbing like it was hard to swallow. “I think if you bat your eyes at me like that one more time I’ll drop dead right here.”

“Don't you dare.” Eddie huffed with a grin. “That would be so embarrassing to explain to your family and our friends.” He didn’t give him much of a chance to answer before he was taking him back into his mouth as far as he could go, jerking the rest that couldn’t fit. His nails raked down Richie’s thigh, trying his best not to gag. Richie’s sentences of praise were starting to get more incoherent and more filthy, a warning sign that he was close. 

“God I love you.” He grunted, thighs twitching. “So fucking beautiful with those pretty lips sucking my dick. You like big cock in your mouth baby? Bet you do… so good…  _ ah fuck _ -” He tugged on Eddie’s hair a little harshly, dragging his mouth off. “I’m gonna cum real soon sweetheart…” His labored breathing was turning into growls and his blunt nails scratched at Eddie’s scalp as his grip on his hair tightened. 

Eddie didn’t even realize how turned on he was until he mindlessly reached down to grip himself, throbbing and leaking all over the tiles below him. He moaned around Richie, sucking harder as he jerked himself off. Richie didn’t get a chance to really warn him again, because as soon as he looked down to Eddie touching himself, he came hard into his mouth, cursing up a storm. Eddie calmly let him finish pumping in his mouth before spitting down the drain, not as bothered as he thought he’d be at the frothy liquid dripping down his chin. 

Richie quickly pulled him up, wiping it off with his thumb. “Christ Eddie, sorry about that.” 

“S’okay.” Eddie hummed, desperately reaching down to give himself some relief.

“Want help? I can use my mouth too-”

“No.” Eddie whined, pressing up against him. “Want you to keep talking to me.” 

“Wow that’s a first.” He said smugly before pulling him in for a heated kiss. Eddie wasn’t surprised that Richie couldn’t care less if he just came in his mouth: he was still just as eager to lick behind his teeth. “You did some damn good research… whatever that means.”

“Don’t make me beg Rich.” He rested his forehead against the wet curls on Richie’s chest.

“I’ve got you, Eds.” He gripped his hard cock, giving it a tug. “You like when I talk to you? Like when I tell you how pretty you are, how fucking turned on I get just looking at you?”

“Yeah.” Eddie exhaled roughly, gripping Richie’s shoulders tightly.

“I know you do.” His hand moved faster, rougher as he held him tightly. “Such a good boy-” With a loud mewl, Eddie came over his fist, shuddering against his chest. “Didn’t realize how kinky you were baby.” He stifled a laugh, stroking him as he calmed down.

“I needed that.”

“To be touched or to blow me?” He grinned at the shrug he got as an answer. “Why the sudden need? Not that I’m complaining because I’m absolutely not complaining.”

“You just always jump to do it for me and it feels so good.” He murmured. “I wanted to return the favor.”

“Eddie, you never have to do anything just because I do it-”

“I wanted to.” He said again, rubbing his hands over Richie’s slick chest. “I just didn’t know how to… I didn’t want to just awkwardly ask or anything.”

His face was flushed from his orgasm and a tinge of embarrassment. Richie’s heart ached with how much he loved him. “Eds, I will literally do anything you want to try. I’m serious, just ask and I’ll give it to you. My little rule breaking twunk-”

“Stop calling me a twunk.” Eddie said with no bite. “I only broke the rules because you looked so good. I couldn’t help myself.” 

“Are you going to be this easy of a lay?”

The question made Eddie tense before huffing out a laugh. “You wish, asshole. I love you.”

“Love you too, you little shit. Now help me wash this sand out of my hair.” 

“My knees and back are too old for this.” Eddie groaned, his joints popping as he stretched to reach Richie’s head with shampoo. “Next time, this is happening on a bed.”

“Already thinking about next time huh?” Richie smirked, humming pleasantly as Eddie scratched his scalp. “You’re naughty.” Eddie didn’t answer, slowly rubbing the shampoo into his thick curls. He took his time, making sure that the grains of sand were stripped from his hair and swirled down the drain. While he focused intently, he melted into the feeling of Richie’s big hands lathering him up with soap, every once in awhile dragging his nails lightly down the flushed skin.

By the time they were wrapping each other up in towels and Eddie was done brushing his teeth, they were completely drained and exhausted. They didn’t bother putting clothes on besides boxers: after Richie sprayed down the sheets with disinfectant of course. 

“Can’t we just cuddle this entire vacation?” Richie mumbled, kissing up and down Eddie’s neck: which his long body was draped over.

“Mm. We are here to have fun, cuddling is something we can literally do anywhere.”

“Well we can go to the beach in LA.”

“... Touche.” Eddie hummed, his voice sleepy and chest rising up and down slowly. Richie watched him silently for a little bit, taking in the way he looked while he was so peaceful. He could never get tired of admiring the man he was hugging so closely. More than anything he wanted to brag about him to their friends. Hell, he wanted the entire world to know that Eddie Kaspbrak was finally  _ his. _

After all of the time of waiting, even  _ forgetting _ , he knew he was missing something important. And now he had him, and he loved him so much still that it hurt. It hurt to keep him a secret, and it really hurt to think that if Eddie had died, he’d have nothing. None of this, none of Eddie scolding him about germs, none of Eddie begging to be touched, none of Eddie just being the stubborn little shit he is.

He squeezed him a little tighter at the thought, breathing deeply in the scent of his vanilla conditioner, making his hair super soft to the touch. He ran his long fingers through it, lulling Eddie deeper into sleep. Richie was falling closely behind, eyes feeling extremely heavy after what felt like such a long day.

They still had a week left in paradise, and for one of the few times in Richie’s life, he was excited. He had his friends and the person he loved the most in the world in one of the most beautiful places he’d ever been.

He took a few discrete pictures of him cuddled against Eddie’s back, wishing that one day he’d be able to post them on Twitter with gross lovey-dovey captions. That one day he’d be able to show them to his  _ kids _ and tell them all about how Eddie Kaspbrak made him the happiest person in the entire world. He fell asleep with a wide smile on his face, all of the good thoughts flushing out the bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You would think I'd have time to write some more since I'm stuck inside but you'd be surprised at how lazy I've been!!  
> Hopefully inspiration will hit me in the comments or out of the sky XD
> 
> Eddie's Outfit: https://pin.it/3fE3iKL  
> Richie's Outfit: https://pin.it/2etdlCM
> 
> Comments and Kudos are always appreciated!  
> Please stay healthy and safe <3


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I love you too. So much, Eddie.” Richie breathed out, wrapping his arm around him to pull him closer. “You make me so happy.”
> 
> Eddie smiled sheepishly, turning to try and hide the blush invading his face. He looked down to the rising shoreline, dipping a finger into the water and dragging it through the wet sand. Richie watched him intently, not expecting him to be writing letters. But once he figured out what he was writing it felt like all of the air was punched out of his lungs.  
> _______________  
> The rest of the losers' vacation (:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me for the slow updates: please accept this longer chapter with some good stuff (;  
> Warnings: Homophobic slurs, Mature content, unprotected sex, Detailed Smut

Both men were jolted from sleep by a hard knock on the hotel door. Eddie frantically ripped the sheets off of him, diving into the other bed and hiding underneath the sheets. He motioned for Richie to answer the door, which he did only after he feverishly threw on a shirt.

“Benny boy!” Richie tipped his invisible hat with a little bow. “For what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Isn’t it too early for you to start with the accents? I’m surprised Eddie can handle you being so loud.” Ben shook his head, leaning against the side of the doorway. “Good morning Eddie.” He smiled past Richie. Ben was already dressed in what looked like swim trunks, a dark blue that matched well with his grey tank top. He even had a pair of sunglasses hanging from the neck of the shirt, expensive aviators. “We are going to head out to the boardwalk soon. Bev wants to do a little exploring and visit some of the shops. You guys in?”

“We’re in.” Eddie yawned, stepping behind Richie. “Can we get a few minutes to get ready?”

“Sure man, I think we’ll head out in half an hour if that’s okay?”

“Coolio dude. Totally rad!” Richie held out his fist with only his thumb and pinkie jutting out, shaking it side to side. “Get it? Cause you look like a surfer right now-”

“We’ll see you soon Ben.” Eddie shoved him out of the way to close the door. “He’s right Rich, you’re way too loud in the morning. Use your goddamn inside voice.”

“Good morning to you too.” Richie tugged him closer by his shirt, wondering when he found time to put one on. “That was a close one, good thing you’re a fast little guy.”

“I’ll murder you.” Eddie huffed, still encircling his arms around Richie’s neck. “I could throw you into the ocean and statistically it would be nearly impossible to find your body.”

“Mm. You’d feed me to the sharks, huh babe?” He chuckled, dipping his head to catch Eddie’s lips in a quick peck. “Even after all of the love I give you?”

“You clearly don’t love me enough to brush your gross teeth before you kiss me.” Eddie sneered, but he was betrayed by the smile forming on his face. “It’s like you don’t even know me. So yeah, your ass is going to the sharks.” He patted him on the chest before pulling away, moving to his suitcase to pull out a pair of shorts and a tank top like Ben. “Richie…” He said in a warning tone, watching him pull his clothes out of his bag.

He placed them onto the bed, laying out the black short sleeve and obnoxious yellow swim trunks with sharks wearing hats printed on them. “What?” He shrugged innocently. “C’mon let me where my swim trunks, they’re funny-”

“Not the swim trunks you dick, the shirt!”

Richie felt confused, picking up the ordinary shirt. “It’s just a black shirt Eds?”

“No shit.” Eddie took it from him, holding it out in between them. He toyed with the fabric, pulling at it and waving it in front of him. “First of all, black?? You are going to roast in black, it absorbs the heat. Secondly, it’s super tight. You’re going to suffocate in this.” 

“Well your pants are dark blue.” Richie pointed to his solid bottoms, not too tight that they strained his things, but baggy enough that he could move comfortably. “I don’t get it, it’s just a shirt.” He took it from him, waving it back in his face. “See? Nothing special.”

Eddie huffed, swatting it away. “I can see it, asshole. Black and dark blue are two different things. Why can’t you just wear some of your stupid, tacky shirts?”  
  


“I’m not going tacky on tacky Eds, I’m not a monster!” Richie laughed, gesturing to his shark swim trunks. “I need something plain to go with these bad boys! I thought you would like it, you told me to wear the black v-neck more, this is the same thing. I thought it turned you on?..” His words trailed off, the gears in his head starting to turn. Eddie’s face started to heat up, his sharp jaw flushing a raw pink color.

“Shut up Richie.”

“I didn’t say anything.” He grinned, placing his hands on his hips. “But am I wrong?” He cackled at Eddie’s embarrassment, hunching over and barked out another laugh. “You totally get turned on by me wearing black! I’m gonna have to buy more of these.” He shed his upper body from the white shirt he’d thrown on, replacing it with the tight fitting black one.

How could you blame Eddie? The fabric clung tightly to his chest and biceps, making them look bigger than they already were. If it weren’t for the idiotic swim shorts he could pass as a model. “You’re seriously doing this to me right now?”

“It’s not every day that you get all worked up over me.” Richie smirked, even with Eddie shaking his head strongly in disagreement. “I’m taking full advantage of this.”

“Fine.” Eddie spat. _Two can play at this game._ He grabbed another pair of shorts, stripping off the dark blue ones he just put on. He kept eye contact with Richie as he stepped out of his boxers and into the new pair of shorts, a soft baby blue color. He shrugged his shirt off before pulling them up, giving Richie a real show. He figured that he needed to use this tactic more often, because when he was stripping, Richie was _very_ quiet. Almost too quiet.

He put on his winning smirk, finally pulling up the shorts and enjoying the way Richie’s eyes widened a little, his face reddening this time. “Eddie.” He said lowly, eyes dragging over his bottoms and chest.

“What? You wanted to play dirty, so bring it on.” Eddie swayed his hips a little in the new shorts. The incredibly short, _short_ , shorts. His thighs popped through the fabric, straining against the material. But Eddie was willing to sacrifice his comfort to see Richie suffer.

“That’s not fair.” He whined. “You finding me hot in a black shirt is on you man. But you’re like _objectively hot_ , I’m going to have to fight off people on the boardwalk.” 

“Too bad.” Eddie shrugged, slipping on a light seafoam green tank top, grabbing his sunglasses. He felt Richie’s eyes on him, still watching him intently as he slipped on his sandals. “Get yourself ready and meet me at Bev’s.” As he walked past him he patted Richie on the cheek lightly. “Go jerk off or something you pervert.” And when Eddie heard the shaky exhale, he knew he’d won.

Richie ended up sucking it up and sticking his hard on into the band of his shorts, thinking of anything he could to calm down before actually leaving the room to meet the others. The sun was hot, and he was already starting to regret wearing black, just like Eddie warned him. But he’d never admit it, because if Eddie won twice in a row he’d never hear the end of it. There were plenty of more people on the boardwalk, and Eddie found out pretty quickly that Richie was the most publically famous out of the group. Bill was close behind though.

Before they got to their first shop they’d been stopped multiple times, and of course, Richie was happy to talk and take a photo. He could tell that the rest of the group didn’t mind, even going so far to purposely embarrass them in front of their fans. But he could tell that Eddie was anxious whenever someone approached them, so he and Bill decided to tweet out the same kind message to Twitter. Something along the lines of: _I appreciate all of the love and support, and it is so nice to meet fans. But I’m taking a little vacation with some friends and would really be grateful if we can get some privacy and space to relax!_

It didn’t take long for Twitter to question if Bill and Richie were on vacation together, and _why_.

Beverly was attracted to a small shop not far from the hotel, pulling the group inside with her. Mike naturally gravitated towards the books, Bill joining him after deciding that Richie’s jokes about buying condoms were a little too loud for him. Eddie thought so too, sticking with Beverly and Ben as they dug through shirts and other clothing items. “I’m looking for a hat.” She hummed, searching through the section with a large variety of headwear. “My pale skin is going to fry, you think a sun hat would look cute?”

“Normally I’d say those are for old ladies, but I think you could rock it.” Eddie smiled at her, taking one off the shelf. “Try this one.” She took it from him, placing it over her red curls and giving him her best model face.

“Too big or no?”

Eddie studied her for a second, clicking his tongue. He took off his sunglasses and slid them gently onto her face, backing up to check her again. “Mm. You might need sunglasses with it. But it suits you.”

“Wow babe, the fashion teacher becomes the student.” Ben tapped the hat lightly. “Good eye Eddie.” She smiled up at him and it pulled on Eddie’s heartstrings. Soon he’d see those two losers get married. Something that scarred him in the past was actually going to be a pleasant experience, something that he craved deep down inside. _Do I want to get married again?_

“She looks beautiful in everything.” He replied with a small smile. “Not hard to make her look good.” He looked around the shop, spotting Bill and Mike chatting about a book Mike picked up, but Eddie frowned when he couldn’t find Richie anywhere. “Be right back.”

He walked over to the books and patiently waited for them to finish gushing over a novel before interrupting. “Have either of you seen Richie?”

Bill snorted, gesturing across the shop. “Take a guess.” 

Eddie turned around to see a sign hanging over an isle reading “Gag Gifts & Adults”. He let out a noise between a sigh and a laugh, heading over to the hidden shelves. He peeked around the corner, spotting him carefully scanning the shelves wearing a baseball cap. He would’ve scolded him for wearing a random hat he found in the store if he didn’t just make Bev try one on, _and_ if he didn’t look so damn attractive in a hat. It would’ve been sexy even if it didn’t have little duckies on it drinking martinis.

Richie saw him out of the corner of his eye, quickly placing his hands behind his back. “Hey Eds.” His voice was warm and innocent but he was obviously hiding something.

“Hi.” Eddie stepped closer, trying to peek behind him. “Whatcha got there?” He pointed to Richie’s arms, still blocking whatever the hell he was hiding. “Should I be worried?” 

“Maaaaybe.” He sang quietly, a goofy grin spreading on his face. Eddie looked around them, somewhat nervous about what he could’ve found. The aisle that they were in was filled with shot glasses, nsfw shirts, actual underwear, and other obnoxious merchandise. 

“Well are you going to show me?” He asked, crossing his arms in amusement. Richie shifted on his feet, carefully bringing his arms back to his front, holding out his hands. “You’ve got to be shitting me Richie…”

“Oh c’mon, I know you secretly love it.” Richie snickered, examining the decorative fanny pack in his hands. “Tell me this isn’t cute.”

That was his favorite adjective to use, especially when it came to Eddie, but this time he was kind of right. It was a light blue, just like his shorts, and there were small cartoon palm trees on it. Across the front, just above the zipper in a cherry red font was the word _Hawaii._ “Okay.” Eddie gave in. “It’s kind of cute.”

“Little Eddie Kaspbrak would be having a field day with this.” He placed it up to Eddie’s waist as a reference. “This is totally up your alley, you have to let me buy them for you!”

“Only if you let me buy you that stupid hat.”

“Really?!”

“No!” Eddie laughed in disbelief. “You’re insane, put it back!”

Richie frowned, putting it back onto the shelf. “You’re no fun. And say what you want, this hat is a hidden gem!” He took off the cap, looking it over again before breaking his fake sadness and laughing. “Just because it’s ugly doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be loved Eds. You love me right?”

Eddie snatched it from his hands and tossed it high onto the shelf where not even Richie could reach it. “For the last time, you’re not ugly!” He hissed lowly. “You still look sexy in that black shirt, even with that dumbass hat on your head. Frankly, if we weren’t in public right now I’d climb you like a tree.”

_“Meow.”_ Richie purred, blushing lightly, leaning one arm against the shelf. “Yes please Mr. Kaspbrak.”

“Jesus… let’s go before they leave us.” Eddie shook his head, holding in a giggle as Richie almost tipped over the entire shelf he was leaning on. They all left the store, Bev sporting her new hat and sunglasses, and they decided that the ice cream shop a couple of minutes down the boardwalk was their next stop. Eddie didn’t even want ice cream, but the cool air flowing around when they walked inside made him sigh in relief.

Richie relished in the coolness too, his shirt absorbing the sun like it was it’s goddamn job other than covering his body, again, just like Eddie warned. Bill and Ben went classic vanilla, Bill’s in a cone covered in chocolate sprinkles and Ben’s in a cup with rainbow sprinkles and a cherry on top. Beverly got a hot fudge sundae with whipped cream and not one, but two cherries. Mike got mint chocolate chip in a cup, and Eddie settled on plain chocolate in a waffle cone.

Everyone’s choice of ice cream personally offended Richie, who ordered a large cup of chocolate and vanilla cookie dough topped with hot fudge, literally every kind of sprinkle, three cherries just to beat Beverly, and chunks of brownie piled on top. “You’re going to overdose on sugar.” Beverly shook her head, licking the fudge off of her spoon.

“Ah yes, the extra cherry is going to put me out of commission.” Richie quipped in a shrilly accent, spooning a big chunk of brownie into his mouth.

“I don’t think she was talking about the cherries Mr. British Guy.” Ben laughed, peeking into Richie’s cup. “My God, what is even in that thing?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know! Do you even gain weight when you eat, or are you on a strict diet to keep those killer abs? Is that why you’re eating one scoop of vanilla like a dweeb?”

“Hey!” Ben nudged him. “There’s sprinkles on here. And a cherry!”

“Sure.” He rolled his eyes, taking another huge spoonful of his masterpiece. “Sorry that not everyone can keep a body like you at forty.” His eyes turned to Eddie, who was mindfully licking at his cone, paying careful attention so that it wouldn’t drip off of the cone and onto his hand. To anyone else it would probably look innocent, but not long ago Eddie’s tongue was moving like that around his dick. _Fuck, thank God he didn’t get vanilla._

“What’s your excuse?” He asked, trying to think about something else to try and calm his pants. “Are you too sophisticated for toppings young chap?”

Eddie’s eyes lowered at him, his tongue pausing all movements. “British guy still sucks.”

“Inconceivable! Doth lovely mother loved thy British fellow!”

“What accent even is- you know what, nevermind.” Eddie pointed at him with his ice cream in hand. “Don’t make me kick your ass in this little ice cream shop.”

“Settle down boys.” Bill threw an arm around Richie’s neck. “Up for an arc-cade Rich? First round of tokens is on me if you put British guy out to pasture just for today.”

“You make a compelling argument Billiam.” Richie held his hand out to seal the deal. “Even though vanilla with chocolate sprinkles is suuuper boring, what happened to the brave Bill I knew?”

“Ice cream doesn’t have to be brave.” Mike laughed, quietly enjoying his frozen treat.

“He could learn a thing or two from you Mikey. Mint chocolate chip is exotic even without added toppings. I’m proud of you.” He gave him a thumbs-up before continuing to devour his monstrosity in a cup.

“That thing might give you diabetes.” Eddie snorted, everyone watching Richie in amazement as he stomached half of his cup in record speed. “But at least it keeps you quiet.”

“Amen.” Bev snickered, nodding in agreement. 

Proving their point, he just continued eating, lifting his middle finger quietly along with the spoon as he put it into his mouth. After relishing in the cool air of the shop for a little longer, even after they finished their ice cream, everyone seemed to like the idea of the arcade. Especially Richie, who practically lived in the Derry arcade when he wasn’t in school. Unfortunately, some of the vibrant excitement that he felt at first changed when he actually stepped into the arcade, feeling an overwhelming sense of dread. 

_Richie Tozier?_ _You’re trying to bone my little cousin?_

_GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE FAGGOT!_

He shivered at the memories, his hands starting to clam up as Bill handed him a cup filled with coins. He thought he’d feel better following Eddie around, playing various games and bickering competitively like they would when they were kids.

But it actually made things worse, that sick feeling of being a _fairy_ in an arcade re-entering his mind. He knew it was irrational, especially since he literally _killed_ him, but his mind kept telling him that any moment Bowers could come up behind him again. _Out_ him again. 

_Is it getting harder to breathe?_

He swallowed hard, eyes lowering to Eddie who was looking up at him with that sweet face slightly filled with concern. “You okay Rich?”

“Yeah!” He smiled unconvincingly. “Sorry, what were you saying?”

“I asked if you wanted to go to play again- Jesus are you sure you’re okay? You are really pale right now…” He lifted the back of his hand to touch Richie’s forehead, making his heart jump. _It’s okay Rich, you’re okay. It’s just Eddie, you love Eddie. It’s okay to love Eddie, remember?_

**_F A G G O T !_ **

He pulled away quickly, dumping the rest of his coins into Eddie’s cup. “Sorry I just- I need air, wait here okay… use my coins, I can get more-” He fumbled his way through the arcade, his lungs fighting for air. He stumbled out into the bright light and onto the boardwalk, gasping until he crashed into the banister that separated him from the sand.

He breathed deeply in through his nose, high on the saltwater breeze finally filling his lungs. He gripped the banister tightly, trying to get himself together. The last thing he wanted was to make Eddie worried when this trip was meant for everyone to relax. He jumped a little at the presence of someone behind moving next to him, the hairs on his neck standing straight up.

“Relax hun, it’s me.” Beverly carefully ran her hand down his back as he loosened up. “You alright? Eddie said something was wrong.”

“Fuck, I didn’t want to worry him.” He put his face in his hands, scolding himself.

“Well that’s hard, he cares about you. Especially when you’re out here having a panic attack.” She continued to rub his back soothingly. “Wanna tell me what’s going on? You love the arcade, what happened?”

He sighed, rubbing his face a little, trying to avoid an oncoming headache. “When we were back in Derry I got my token from the arcade. _A lot_ of shit went down after that.” He shook his head, staring straight ahead at the water. “But I remembered stuff when I was in that arcade. Memories that I had lost.” _Richie Tozier? You’re a little fairy?_ “I just relieved them when I was in the arcade. Fucking Bowers threw slurs at me for hanging with his cousin. Connor threw me under the bus, which sucked because I liked him. Thought he was cool.”

He turned to Beverly, gripping her hand. “God I believed him for so long, that I was a faggot and it was gross. I was disgusting for liking boys, fuck Conner, I loved _Eddie_ and the last thing I wanted was for people to know that. I still do, and I’m still scared.”

“Rich.” She smiled softly, grabbing his other hand. “If you didn’t want people to know, you were _really_ bad at it. But it’s okay, because the people who mattered didn’t care, and those people still don’t care.” She ran her thumb over his hand, staring down at her engagement ring. “You know, I’m scared too. God the thought of getting married again makes me want to puke but that’s kind of okay. We have trauma Rich, and we are trying to recover. It makes me want to puke but I’d deal with any of those feeling to be with Ben. Just like you should be okay with being yourself with Eddie. Bowers is dead, you _killed_ him. And I beat the shit out of my ex. And we fucking destroyed a killer clown, so I don’t think this past kid trauma has anything on us. My dad and Bowers can’t hurt us anymore.” She laughed, wiping her eyes a bit. “And we're gonna get through the new shit too. We deserve to be happy.”

Richie didn’t realize he was crying too until she reached up to wipe a stray tear off of his face. “Damn Marsh, that was one hell of a speech. How am I ever going to top that at your wedding?”

“Don’t ruin this moment!” She laughed, smacking his chest. “Now let’s get back to our boyfriends.” She shook her head at his ‘deer in the headlights’ look. “Remember when I said you were really bad at hiding your feelings for Eddie? Well that hasn’t changed. He’s pretty terrible at it too. You guys are totally together aren’t you?”

“I- well we… how the fuck did you figure it out?” He stammered. “We haven’t said anything!”

“You don’t need to _say_ anything.” She punched his shoulder. “Even a deaf person could tell by the way you two look at each other now. There’s not as much tension now between the two of you… and we all know what that means. Well at least I know, I’m not sure about the other guys. Men are stupid-”

“Okay smarty pants, you caught us. Just- he’s not really ready for anyone to know…”

“Your secret is safe with me.” She mimed zipping her lips. “But when you guys do spill, I have some money that Mike owes me.” 

“You guys bet on us!?”

“We all had our bets when we were kids. We didn’t think it would take _this_ long, but a bet is a bet!” She shrugged sheepishly. “When did it all happen exactly?”

“We kissed a little after I came out and I called you. We danced around it for a little and didn’t do ~ _stuff_ ~ until he had his bandages off. We still haven’t actually-- you know what, I don’t know why I’m telling you all of this!”

“Good, that’s all I needed to hear anyway. Now Ben owes me money too.”

Richie squinted at her. “You guys are the worst.” Still, he pulled her into a bone crushing hug. “I still love you though. You’re the best Bevvy.”

“Love you too Trashmouth, always. Later we are totally getting drunk and letting go of all of our fears and sorrows.” She squeezed him back just as hard, kissing his cheek before letting him go. “Now seriously, let’s go before Ben uses all of my coins. He’s sweet but I think he’s tired of me getting more tickets than him.” Richie followed her, finding Ben and Eddie at the air hockey table, staring each other down as their hands moved quickly on the handles, hitting it so hard that the puck flew off of the table. 

“Woah guys. Too much hot guy energy in the same room, tone it down.” Richie picked it up from the floor and placed it back onto the table. Eddie placed his handle on top of it so it didn’t glide, grabbing Richie’s arm and dragging him away from the table. 

“Bev take over for me?”

“My pleasure Eddie.” She blew a kiss to Ben, roughly smacking the puck towards his side of the table. Richie followed Eddie to the corner of the arcade, isolated near the photo booth. 

“What’s going on Rich?”

“Eddie, I’m okay-”

“Don’t lie to me, please.” Eddie frowned. “Just tell me what’s wrong.” He didn’t sound angry, but it was hard to tell with that serious face hardly illuminated by the flashing lights of the games. So Richie told him anyway.

He told him everything he told Beverly, trying to suppress the uneasy feeling in his stomach. “I’m sorry Eds, I just needed to calm down and I didn’t want you to be stressed. You looked like you were having so much fun and I didn’t want my dumbass trauma to ruin it… where are we-” Eddie pulled him into the photo booth, shoving him so he was sitting on the bench.

“Richie. I’m only having this much fun because of _you._ I love the others but I _love_ -love you. Okay? I want you to tell me when somethings wrong, just like you always want me to tell you.” He sat on Richie’s knee, tossing his arms around his neck. “Now let’s take some cheesy photos, I want to remember the best vacation ever.” He slotted a few coins into the machine, leaning his head against Richie’s and smiling for their first photo. 

“Fuck, I love you.” Richie said into his ear, tugging him closer.

“Stop talking, you’re going to ruin the photos.” He kissed him hard for the next picture, smiling against his lips. “Look at us. Being gay in an arcade. Bowers can fucking suck it.”

“Yeah he can!” Richie laughed, burying his face into his neck. That was the third photo. For their last photo, Richie leaned in really close. “Be careful when you get up Eds, these shorts of yours look like they’ll shred in half. Unless being ass naked in a kids arcade is a fantasy of yours.”

Eddie let out a stupid laugh as the last flash went off, a dumb grin on Richie’s face. Eddie slid off of his lap, drawing back the curtain to step out and grab their pictures. “These came out pretty cute, Richie.” He smiled down at them, rubbing them over with his thumb.

“That’s all you.” Richie took them from him and slid them into his buttoned pocket for safekeeping. “Hey, we should probably earn more tickets before Beverly and Ben show us up.”

“Pft. We can’t let that happen. Go, go Rich, go!” Eddie shoved him towards the games again, both of them giggling like little kids. Richie felt like he was in Vegas, running around playing games and completely losing track of the time. And spending way too much money on tokens. 

It became a competition between the losers, splitting off into teams to see who could win the most tickets. They all met back up at the prize counter, everyone looking like they had the time of their lives. It made Richie’s heart swell to see all of his favorite people so happy. _Bowers can fucking suck it._

“We win.” Mike pumped his fist into the air and high fived Bill.

“By _three_ tickets.” Richie huffed sorely, crossing his arms. “How did you even beat us? Do you know how much Eds and I just ran around and how much money we wasted?”

“Well we are more focused.” Bill shrugged. “... And Bev and Ben helped us out.” 

“I’m sorry!” She laughed at the daggers they both threw her. “Ben and I knew we weren’t going to win so we just figured we’d stop spending money and give Mike and Bill the tickets we didn’t spend.” She raised the little bear in a Hawaiian shirt that she’d already gotten for her tickets.

“I can’t believe this! You guys are definitely disqualified!” Eddie fumed. “Cheaters, all of you.”

“Conspired against us.” Richie agreed. “Fuck you guys, we are going to claim our winnings.” They turned to the counter with the rest of them laughing behind them. They scanned the prizes, looking over everything. “Wait… you know what I just realized?”

“That we are forty and don’t give a shit about any of this stuff?”

“Exactly.” Richie laughed, palming his face. “What the fuck is wrong with us?”

“A lot.” Eddie tried to shake the embarrassed grin from his face. “Just pick something so we can get out of here. I think my eyes are permanently damaged by these flashing lights.”

“Oh I’m getting every single sour straw and tootsie roll. Maybe a can of slime-”

“That’s fucking disgusting-”

“-C’mon Eds, you have to pick something too. Look at us, we’re rich!” He gestured to the insane number of tickets on their receipt. “Something, anything. It doesn’t have to be too big to carry on a plane but you have to pick something.”

Eddie looked at all of the prizes, slightly overwhelmed by all of his choices. Richie was right, he definitely did not want to get something too obnoxious to bring with them onto a plane, but he also didn’t want to encourage him by getting a bunch of candy too. His eyes moved around the glass before settling on a little line of toy cars. He bent down to get a better look, locking his eyes on the red one. It looked just like the one his dad used to have before his mother sold it. A shiny red 1967 Chevrolet Impala, more of an old school look, but a car that Eddie had admired during his car days. He still liked cars, but when you work as a risk analyst for so many years it can drain the fun out of them. “That one.” He said, pointing to it.

Richie bent down, following where he was pointing. “The red one? That’s it?” His voice was amused, but he knew why Eddie wanted it. When they were little Eddie wouldn’t shut up about how his family actually used to own a cool car, and how he wished his mother gave it to him instead of selling it. He nodded, and Richie didn’t hesitate to call the cashier over. “Hey man, can I get that red car and like-- EVERY tootsie roll and sour straw you have?”

The young guy seemed slightly confused as to why two grown men were getting candy and a toy car, but he just gave them what they wanted, placing everything onto the counter. “You still have two thousand tickets.” He told them after deducting what they owed.

“Oh damn.” Richie laughed, Eddie’s mouth opening. “I don’t want to know how much money I wasted on all of those tokens.” He looked around him, spotting a tiny girl beside them who was carefully eyeing every prize through the glass. “Hey are you her dad?” He asked the guy standing beside her. “Me and my friends here realized that we have all these tickets left over, would you be interested-”

“Holy shit!” The guy gasped, earning a funny look from his daughter. “I mean _shoot_. Holy shoot, you’re Richie Tozier? Big fan!” He gripped his hand firmly to shake it. “That is so nice of you, thank you so much. Sweetie what do you say?”

“Thank you mister!” She smiled wide, jumping up and down.

“No problem princess!” He smiled back with a small bow, noting her plastic tiara. “Buy something cool! And nice to meet you, thank you for all of the support.” He tapped the man’s shoulder.

“No really, thank _you._ ” He palmed his daughter's head so she’d stop bouncing. “You all have a great night!” That’s when Richie realized that his fans couldn’t care any less about him being gay and being gay in an arcade no less. Once again: _Bowers can fucking suck it._

He walked out with the losers and his pockets overflowing with candy, the sun already beginning to set. “Wow, that was really nice Richie. It’s a rare sight to see rated G Trashmouth in action.” Bill gave him a slow clap. “G-glad we gave our tickets away too Mikey, it’s bad publicity to have Tozier look more decent than us.”

“Seriously, since when are you so good with children?” Mike grabbed his shoulder.

“Well I have to deal with Eddie all day. I feed him, tuck him in at night, and he throws tantrums so it’s pretty much the same thing-”

“Fuck you Richie.” Eddie shot back, biting his lip to prevent a smile. They all laughed, walking back onto the beach till the sunset. They sat in a circle near the water and shared candy and more laughter as they bickered back and forth, just like the old days. 

Richie clasped his hands together before starting to collect the wrappers littered around them. “So earlier Bevvy brought up the genius idea of going drinking. I think I saw a bar back towards the hotel that is thirty-plus only. No teenagers, just old geezers like us, we in?” It didn’t take much convincing, and soon everyone was sitting at a private bar downing shots like it was a new competition. Eddie saw very quickly that he should take it easy, because Richie was doing everything _but_ taking it easy.

“Hey Rich, time to slow down okay?” He put his hand on Richie’s back, who was wobbling on his stool slightly.

“Ain’t no rest for the wicked Eddio.” He snickered, already completely obliterated. “You just sit your cute butt down and relax, kay?”

Eddie shook his head, ordering another beer with Ben, who was also taking it easy so he could keep an eye out for a very drunk Beverly. She kept pulling Richie with her to dance or sing karaoke, and Eddie couldn’t wait to see articles pop up about famed fashion designer Bev Marsh and comedian Richie Tozier letting loose in Hawaii. “And I know, one thing, that I love you!” She sang along with the radio, pointing to Ben. “I love you, I love you, I love you!”

“Hey, come sing with me cutie.” Richie tossed his arm over Eddie, leaning his weight on him. “I wanna sing a song.”

“I’m not singing with you Richie.” Eddie grunted, trying to support him. “I’m not nearly drunk enough.”

“Get more drunk then!” He slurred a bit, swaying on his feet. “We can sing Stacey’s Mom but like-- Eddie’s mom, has got it going on!! Eddie can’t you see-”

“Absolutely not!!” He clasped a hand over his mouth, interrupting his singing. “And if I get drunk too, who's going to take care of your ass?” Eddie scoffed, grabbing the martini in his hand so he wouldn’t drop it. 

“Mm we can take care of each other like usual.” He replied lowly with a suggestive wiggle of his eyebrows. “Want to take care of each other in the shower later?”

“Okay buddy, I’m cutting you off.” Eddie laughed nervously, flushing a dark shade of red as he took the drink away from Richie. “Wait here, I’m going to get you some water okay?” He pushed passed the people waiting by the bar to grab something to sober up his boyfriend before he did something stupid. The last time he’d seen him drunk was just before they all left for college, and he was hoping that Richie wasn’t as much of a crazy drunk as a grown adult.

Thankfully there weren’t too many people to witness his friends looking like idiots. Even Bill and Mike were starting to lose composure, but at least they were keeping to themselves at the bar with a basket full of fries.

“Uh hey Eddie?” Ben tapped him on the shoulder, looking worried. “Have you seen Bev anywhere? I left her just to use the bathroom and I can’t find her.’

“No sorry.” He hummed, slamming the glass of water onto the table when he looked at the spot where he left Richie, who was also missing. “Oh for fuck’s sake, I’m getting him a leash.”

“It’s okay, we’ll find them.” Ben assured him. “They couldn’t have gone far-”

“Hello ladies and gents!” He was interrupted by Richie’s voice coming from the microphone on stage. Sure enough, Beverly was with him with a microphone in her hand too. “This one is for my best friend Eddie Kaspbrak, the greatest person in the universe.”

_“Shit.”_

“If you see a short, angry, extremely handsome man out there, that’s him.” He raised his microphone to the crowd. The music slowly started playing before Eddie could make his way up there, frantically pushing through people as he darted for the stage. “Eddie my love-” He started singly softly.

_“God please no.”_

“I love you so. How I wanted for you, you'll never know.”

Beverly’s soft voice joined him. “Please, Eddie, don't make me wait too long…”

_“Ben stop them!!!”_

“…Oh Eddie, Eddie I love you so!” They both belted, receiving some laughs, claps, and hollers from the crowd. Thankfully Ben pulled the plug on the speakers, halting their performance. “Hey!” Richie frowned, squinting into the crowd.

Eddie gripped the side of the stage, trying to ignore the abundance of eyes on him. “I need you to get off of the stage, please, for the love of God.”

“Oh hey Eds.” He smiled down at him. “Are you mad? You look mad.” And that was the end of karaoke and drinking at the bar. Ben carried Beverly back up to their room and Eddie had to help Richie into theirs. Thankfully Bill and Mike weren’t completely gone, just a good buzz going.

“Wait so are you still mad?”

“I’m not mad Richie!” Eddie snapped. “I’m just embarrassed.”

“Why?” Richie pouted, sprawled out onto the bed. “I just wanted to sing you a song to let everyone know how much I love you. Wait sorry, I forgot you aren’t ready for that. I fucked up… I’m a little fucked up right now.” He rambled, his eyes struggling to adjust to the light of the room.

“I know Rich.” Eddie sighed, feeling somewhat bad for snapping at him. “I’m not mad I promise. It was a sweet gesture, you just drank too much. I shouldn’t have left you alone.”

“I’m a big boy Eds.” He snickered. “I probably would’ve done it if I wasn’t drunk anyways.”

“Probably.” Eddie snorted, pulling off his tank top and rummaging through his things to grab clothes for after his shower. He soon felt Richie’s eyes burning holes into his back, so he looked over his shoulder. Sure enough, Richie was just watching him quietly with a grin. “What?”

“Nothing.” He answered, his grin getting wider.

“What is it?” Eddie asked again, crossing his arms. “What did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything!” Richie laughed, folding his arms behind his head. “I’m just thinking.”

“About what?”

“I can’t tell you.” He hummed. “Don’t want you to make fun of me.”

“Richie, I’m not going to make fun of you any more than I normally do. What were you thinking about?”

He didn’t answer right away, sinking his teeth into his lip. His hair was completely disheveled, his glasses barely hanging on his face. His shirt was starting to ride up his stomach, and he toyed with the strings of his shorts before talking. “I was thinking about us. How much I love you.”

Any anxiety or confusion Eddie had was immediately melted away. “What? Why would I make fun of that?”

“Cause it’s pathetic love. Like almost _too_ much love.” He laughed beside himself. “Today was so fun. I just couldn’t stop thinking about what it would be like to take our family on vacation. Our future family, like, kids and stuff.”

“Yeah?” Eddie asked quietly.

“Mhm. It’s so gay.” He murmured, making Eddie snort. “Thought about marrying you too. God you probably look so good in a suit.”

“Is that what you were thinking about? Our future?”

Richie shook his head, licking his lips. “That was it at first but then you looked so cute over there. Got me thinking again.”

“About wh-”

“About how I wanna fuck you.” He huffed out like it was frustrating for him to hold it in. “Like so bad. All the time… Especially when you walk around half naked like that.”

“Oh.” Eddie swallowed hard, uncrossing his arms and looking down at his exposed chest. He wasn’t ready for the conversation to turn like _this._ “Do you think about that a lot?”

_“All. The. Time.”_ He repeated, groaning slightly. “You’re so hot it’s almost unbearable. Look at you in those little shorts, you’re killing me. And that sexy scar. Did you know that when we were kids and we’d wrestle at Bill’s I’d have to leave because all I could think about was how pretty you were pinned down underneath me? I had to leave so many times so I could go jerk off-”

“Fuck Rich.” It came harshly out of Eddie’s throat. “I loved when you did it.” He admitted. He always loved Richie’s soft and gentle side, the one that he could tease and boss around. The one that would tell Eddie how much he loved him, and how he wanted to marry him. Sappy Richie.

But he also loved Richie’s dark side, the one many people didn’t get to see. The way his eyes would darken and the dirty things that he whisperers to Eddie when he has his hand around him. Or the way he growls into his mouth when their makeout sessions get more and more heated. The way he’d use his big body to pin him down. This side of Richie gave Eddie a chance to let go, to let someone else take the reins, to lose control for a while but in the best way possible.

He was getting both sides tonight.

“You don’t understand how bad I want you Eddie. In literally every way possible.” Richie said it so casually, but his dark eyes wouldn’t budge from Eddie’s. “I want to give you everything you want, make you feel so good. But I also wanna tie you down, make you squirm-- Fuck, you’d probably look so pretty. I love when you beg me to make you cum…”

Eddie shifted in place, very hard in his pants just listening to Richie go on. If he was drunk too he didn't know what would’ve happened. They’d probably have a lot of noise complaints, that’s for sure. “Come cuddle with me Eds. I miss you.” He yawned as he patted the bed, another total shift in conversation giving Eddie whiplash.

“I will.” Eddie swallowed thickly, licking over his dry lips. “I’m going to take a shower first okay? Then I’ll come lay down.”

“Kay.” He mumbled, giving a thumbs up. Eddie quickly locked himself in the bathroom, nearly heaving with arousal with his heartbeat pounding in his ears. As unexpected as the conversation was, and how caught off guard he was, he jerked himself off in the shower like a horny teenager. _You don’t understand how bad I want you Eddie._

Once he calmed down and cleaned up, he quietly opened the door and shut it behind him, dressed in a pair of sweats with an old t-shirt. Richie was fast asleep on the bed, still spread eagle across the mattress. Eddie watched him briefly before gently taking his glasses and placing them onto the nightstand. He kissed him on the forehead and snuck out of the room, walking down the hall towards Ben’s room. 

“Oh Eddie hey!” Ben opened the door cheerfully but looking as exhausted as Eddie felt.

“Hey, sorry to bother. Um… how’s Bev?”

“See for yourself.” He opened the door a little more and stepped aside, revealing a snoring Beverly spread out on the bed just like Richie was. “I take it Richie passed out too?”

“Thankfully. Who knew drunk adults were worse than children?” 

“Tell me about it. I’ve never seen her drink so much!” Ben shook his head with an amused smile. “Richie is a terrible influence.”

“Hey! After all this time of living with him he’s never drank this much either. Maybe she’s the terrible influence.”

“Either way, no more drinking for them for the rest of the trip.” Ben stifled a laugh.

“Deal.” Eddie agreed. “Have you seen Bill and Mike? Did they make it back okay?”

“Yeah, they are locked down for the night though. Those men sure know how to hold their liquor. Bill was able to tell me all about this new book he’s thinking about writing, based on Derry. Still, barely any stutter even with all of that alcohol in him.”

“Must be nice.” He scoffed. “Not sure about that book idea, but maybe he deserves to make money after all we’ve been through.”

“Maybe.” A beat of silence passed between them before Ben continued speaking. “So uh… how are you and Richie?”

“What do you mean?”

“Pretty funny of him to sing you that song.” He smiled. “Not that he had to be drunk to do that. Just wanted to make sure things were… going good I guess. You guys seem closer than ever.” He put his hands in his pockets, leaning against the doorway.

“What exactly are you saying, Ben?”

“Nothing, nothing. I just- you know that if you and Richie were more than friends I would one hundred percent support you guys, right?”

Eddie’s breath caught in his throat, biting the inside of his cheek so hard he thought he put another hole in it. “I- no we… we just-” He stammered, feeling his face heat up. “Did Bev tell you something?”

“No.” Ben shook his head, biting his lip to avoid smiling. “But I think _you_ just did.” He laughed quietly at Eddie’s flustered face, trying desperately to slow his heartbeat. “Listen Eddie. You and Richie have always had something going on-”

“No-”

_“Yes.”_ He stopped him. “Trust me, I know what it’s like to be utterly smitten with someone since we were kids. And Richie is fifty levels past smitten. You aren’t exactly great at hiding it either, you two have the subtlety of a pipe bomb.”

“How?” Eddie rubbed his shoulder, still feeling bashful. 

He shrugged, looking behind him for a moment. “You look at him like I look at Beverly.”

Eddie blinked a few times like a deer in the headlights. “Oh.”

“Checkmate.” He nodded with a smirk. “I love you both. And I’m happy for you, so happy. My lips are sealed, I won’t tell Bev either.” He pulled him into a tight hug. 

“Thanks Ben. Really, thank you.” Eddie let him hug him for a little bit. “You’re a really good friend.”

“You too man. I can’t wait to have you by my side on the big day.” He pulled away, patting his shoulder. “Now get some sleep, we’ve got an even better day planned for tomorrow.”

“Can’t wait.” He took a few steps back down the hallway, turning around before Ben could close the door. “Hey Ben? Maybe someday the two of us could get drinks together, I think we should get a turn at being stupidly drunk. We deserve to be taken care of too right?”

“Totally! Goodnight Eddie.”

“Night Ben.” Richie was still passed out when Eddie got back to their room, and he didn’t want to risk waking him so he carefully slid underneath the covers, wrapping his arms around Richie’s waist and placed another kiss on his forehead. It felt good that Ben knew about their relationship, (unaware that Beverly also knew) and he considered just telling everyone else in the morning. 

But he was still scared, and he wanted to talk about it with Richie some more first. He always knew what to say when Eddie was doubting himself, doubting the love and support that people had for him. He nuzzled into Richie’s back, loving his new big spoon position.

He woke up to light knocking on the door and a loud groan from Richie. “Kill me Eds.” He mumbled, rolling over in Eddie’s arms to bury his face into his neck. “Tell them to go away.” 

“Sh.” Eddie shushed him, shuffling to the door and opening it. “Hey Mike.”

“Morning Eddie.” He smiled. “Not sure if you’re interested but we’re having breakfast over at Ben’s. If Richie is able to get on his feet, come over whenever you’re ready. We just started cooking.”

“Thanks, we’ll start getting ready.” He closed the door, plopping back down next to Richie. “Start regaining consciousness, everyone’s eating at Ben and Bev’s.”

“Ben and Bev’s.” Richie chuckled into the pillow. “Sounds like a fucking bed and breakfast.”

“It does.” He smiled, rubbing a hand down his back. “How do you feel?”

“I feel fucked up babe. Never let me drink again.”

“Trust me, I won’t.” He rolled his eyes. “I still can’t believe you sang that fucking song.”

“Want the sober rendition? _Eddie my love-_ ”

“Stop!” Eddie shoved his face back into the pillow to shut him up. “What else do you remember from last night?”

“Eds, I was drunk but not blackout drunk. I remember everything.” He was quiet for a second. “I’m sorry if things got weird. Did I take it too far?”

“No Rich, it wasn’t too far. You were drunk and-”

“A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts… or however the fuck that saying goes.” He sat up a little, propping himself up with an elbow. “You’re not mad, or uncomfortable, or-”

“I’m not mad.” He promised, brushing some of the hair from Richie’s forehead. “And the only thing uncomfortable about it was the fucking boner you gave me. Seriously, I had to take care of it in the shower like a feral juvenile.”

“Ugh, don’t tell me that. It’s too early for me to be hungover _and_ horny.”

“Hey.” He grabbed Richie’s face and pulled it close to his. “Don’t worry about last night okay?”

“Kay.” He hummed, moving forward to seal their lips. “Can we make out for a little bit before we go over there?” He ran a hand up Eddie’s side gently. “It might help alleviate my pounding headache.”

“I don’t think that’s how headaches work man. If anything I think that’ll make it worse-” He paused at the pout Richie gave him, sighing loudly. “Fine. But we’re keeping your glasses off, it’s a pain in the ass to make out with you while they’re on.”

They were standing in front of Ben and Bev’s door a little bit after, dressed in a new fresh set of clothes. After a few Tylenol and multiple glasses of water, Beverly and Richie were able to somewhat remedy their hangovers. They had a long day planned, time split between the beach, snorkeling, and a spa day. Ben and Mike loved being in the water, and the rest of them divided their time between the sand and the ocean. Ben already knew how to surf, and he promised to teach Bill and Mike if they were interested. Bev, Richie, and Eddie passed on the offer but had a fun time watching their failed efforts. They had their own little sandcastle competition, which Beverly absolutely won but no one knows for sure because Richie _accidentally_ fell on top of it. If Eddie wasn’t just as competitive he would’ve scolded him for it. _Payback for the arcade._

Neither Richie or Eddie had been snorkeling before. Bill and Mike had gone a few times in Florida, but they still had an expert with them, which reassured them all. It was Eddie’s first time really going into the ocean, but the water was warm yet refreshing, and it was crystal clear. He got to see animals he never even knew he’d dreamt of seeing. They all got to see beautiful turtles, stingrays, and a variety of tropical fish. His favorite to see were the parrotfish, which their guide told them were called “uhu” in Hawaii. His fears of drowning and or being attacked by sharks were overtaken by the absolute beauty of the ocean. They all got to find and trade shells like when they were kids at the quarry, but the pretty coral was absolutely off-limits to touch to preserve the reefs. Disappointing, because Eddie was obsessed with coral afterward.

As thrilling and exciting as the whole experience was, everyone was grateful to unwind at the spa. Eddie hated being touched by strangers, but he settled for a facial with Beverly and Bill while Mike, Ben, and Richie got full-body massages. “I’m just saying, she totally enjoyed feeling you up.” Eddie scoffed, sipping from his wine glass carefully.

He and Richie had immediately filled up their tub once getting back to the hotel, sliding in together and sitting back for a second round of relaxing. It was giant, big enough that both men could comfortably sit across from each other. “Jealous much?”

Eddie glared at him over his glass, reaching over the tub to pour himself some more of the Merlot. He sank a little further into the warm water, humming at the way it soothed his skin. He didn’t want to admit it, but the idea of someone getting to touch Richie irked him. A lot. “Nope. Just feel bad for her since your gay and all.”

“And I happen to be taken by the most beautiful man in the world.” Richie splashed some of the water at him, laughing as he tried to shield his cup. “Hey, would you support me in getting a jacuzzi tub for the house? I don’t think I’m willing to let this go when we get back to LA.”

The reasonable, adult answer would’ve been a big fat no. Jacuzzi tubs were for college sororities, pornos, and vacations. But Eddie would be lying if he said that he didn’t also enjoy the soft hum of the motor and the pressurized jets. “Maybe we could work something out…”

Richie smiled at him, raising his glass in a silent toast. “Attaboy Eds.”

The next morning was the start of a day that Eddie dreaded. The group had planned to go parasailing _and_ jet skiing, two things that Eddie was horrified of doing yet didn’t want to look like a coward. So he went, and the boat ride out to the spot was excruciating, he was practically vibrating in his seat. Mike and Bill volunteered to go first, and the processes of being lifted into the sky didn’t look as scary as he thought, slow and steady. _I can do this, I got this._

Even as Ben and Bev went, Eddie even thought that it looked like it could be romantic. They were pointing things out to each other and holding hands, Beverly occasionally resting her head onto Ben’s shoulder. _I totally got this. It’s going to be okay. I’m with Richie, I’m safe._

Any confidence that he thought he had quickly wavered when him and Richie were being strapped to the harness. The guide even paused midway to ask if he was okay. He wasn’t, but he nodded anyway. “Don’t fucking look at me like that Richie.” He hissed as Richie horribly failed to contain his laughter. 

“We are going to be fine!”

“Don’t jinx us!!” His breathing stuttered when the ropes tugged on his harness, preparing for liftoff. “Hold my hand Rich-- stop laughing at me and hold my damn hand!” He gripped it tightly, closing his eyes shut and trying to steady his breathing. His feet slowly lifted off of the boat, somehow tightening his hold on Richie’s hand even more.

“Baby, we’re good.” He promised, rubbing a thumb over his hand carefully. “You can open your eyes now.” 

Eddie hesitantly let one eye open, ever so slowly. And wow, they were pretty high up. Higher than it looked from the boat, but he could see Beverly waving at them. Richie waved back, with his free hand, not hesitating to let go of his harness. “This… isn’t terrible.”

“It’s beautiful up here.” Richie grinned, giving his hand a gentle squeeze to get some blood pumping back into his hand. “I’m so proud of you, look how brave you are!”

“I almost passed out when they were buckling me in.” He snorted. “I’m not brave. You’re the fucking brave one.”

“It’s not brave if you aren’t scared to do it in the first place. You were scared and you _still_ did it, that’s badass.” Richie refuted before pointed excitedly out to sea. “Holy shit are those dolphins over there!” Eddie wasn’t really afraid of being up there after that, even though coming back down was a little nerve wracking. Somehow, he was more scared for jet skiing, seeing as Richie would be driving them without any guide.

“If you get us killed Richie I swear-”

“I’m not! I’ve done this before, you need to trust me.” He snickered, revving the motor. “I would never put you in danger, I know what I’m doing.”

Eddie had no choice but to accept that, and soon he was clinging onto him for dear life as they set off at a moderate pace. Ben and Beverly were on a separate jetski, which Bev wanted to drive, speeding off ahead of them. Bill and Mike passed on their own jet ski, and decided to try sailing a small boat instead. 

Richie came to a stop when they were far out enough, away from any potential swimmers and surfers. “You doing okay Eds? Try loosening up a little, you’re crushing my ribcage-”

Eddie breathed deeply, sitting up a little straighter and relaxing his hold. “Sorry. I’m good, I’m good you can keep going.”

“I won’t go too fast, just look out onto the water and enjoy it.” He revved the motor again, coasting along the water, taking them out a little farther before starting to drive them down the shoreline. It took him a bit to really loosen up, but after he saw how well Richie knew how to drive he rested his chin on his shoulder and began to enjoy the ocean breeze sifting through his hair and filling his lungs. “You awake back there?” He didn’t need to turn around for him to know he had a smug grin on his face. “Can I go faster?”

“Mhm. Just not _too_ fast.” He nuzzled more into his neck, squeezing his waist. “I don’t want to encourage your fetish for recklessness, but you driving this thing is doing things for me.”

“Oh yeah?” Richie sped them up, the ski doing little jumps on the water. “Usually I get more turned on by you lecturing me about the statistics of automobile accidents!” He yelled over the sound of the jetski’s engine zipping as they cut through the waves.

“Well, fortunately, I don’t know much about jetski analytics!”

“You didn’t look them up before getting on here? I’m so proud of you, my little adrenaline junky!” Richie took them even farther out, stopping every few moments to enjoy the occasional fish sighting or to point out what appeared to be more dolphins in the distance. He was surprised, but Eddie was actually disappointed when they had to go back and return the jetski. It wasn’t every day that he got to feel so brave and thrilled.

But it was good that they had the last day of relaxation with the beach and another nice dinner. The week felt like it flew by, and nobody really wanted to leave. But alas, adults have responsibilities. They all woke up early to get a good spot on the beach before it got packed, securing a decent spot. It was the hottest day of the week, the sun bearing down without any clouds to soften the blow. It was beautiful and bright, but it was _hot._

Beverly made the decision to break out her two-piece swimsuit, which had everyone on the beach staring, men and women. All of the men chose to forgo their shirts, not able to handle the constricting clothes on their hot skin. Well, all of the men except Eddie.

He’d never stepped out of the hotel without a shirt for the entire week, no matter the heat and no matter if they were in the water. Richie knew that it was because of the scar. Even if Richie told him every single day how beautiful he was, Eddie still hated it. So he sat there on his towel with a white tank top on, trying not to wear anything that would absorb even more heat. Even Richie, who wasn’t the biggest fan of his body himself decided that a shirt was a bad idea.

“I don’t want to leave.” Mike sighed, laying next to Beverly under a big rainbow umbrella. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt so relaxed.”

“Tell me about it.” Ben nodded, brushing Bev’s hair out of her face, whose head was laying in his lap. They all tried their best to stay in the shade, making sure to keep hydrated as they all lounged. Despite the bustling of the beach it was relatively quiet, and Richie agreed with Mike. It was very relaxing just to be doing _nothing._ Even he was enjoying it: the guy who usually couldn’t sit still or quiet for two minutes. The best part by far was being lathered in sunscreen by Eddie, who forced him to also put on the face cream he made him pack.

He might’ve even fallen asleep if it weren’t for the volleyball that flew at his head from the sky. “Oh my gosh, we are so sorry!” A girl in jean shorts and a bikini top ran over to them, picking it up and dusting the sand off of it. “Are you okay?”

“No, I’m going to sue!” He joked, rubbing his head with a smile. “I’m fine, thanks.”

“Seriously, we are so sorry- wait are you Trashmouth Tozier?”

“Oh here we go.” Bill snickered, placing down his book. 

“We heard you were in Hawaii!” She gasped quietly. “I know you don’t want anyone to bother you but… we are actually looking for some people to play with us-” She pointed back to the group of people near the net a little ways down the beach. “You don’t have to play of course, but if anyone else wants to join we could really use the help.”

“Go babe!” Bev swatted Ben’s arms away from her hair. “Show me your skills.”

Ben looked around the group before shrugging and straightening out his shorts. “I guess I could play for a little. I’ll warn you though, I may be out of practice. Mikey, you wanna get in on this?”

Mike laughed, taking off his sunglasses to look up at him. “I’m flattered, but I am the worst volleyball player in the actual world. My hand-eye coordination is not what it once was!”

“Well one of you has to play with me!” Ben crossed his arms, scanning each of his friends.

“NOT IT!” Richie shouted, putting his finger to his nose quickly to count himself out. It was a mad dash to touch their noses, leaving poor Eddie sighing. 

“This is so unfair.” He groaned, laying on his stomach. “If I was on my back like a normal person-”

“Let’s go Kaspbrak, we’ve got a game to win!” Ben clasped his hands.

“Thank you guys so much!” The girl jumped excitedly. “I’m Alexis by the way.”

“Ben.” He shook her hand before pointing to Eddie. “That’s Eddie.”

“Nice to meet you.” Eddie smiled in an attempt to be polite, walking over with them towards the net. He and Ben were put on separate teams, and not even five minutes into playing they were scoring points back and forth against each other. And not even six minutes into playing, everyone on the sand, every girl really, was staring at Ben and Eddie. Bev and Richie included. 

“Wow, they look good.” She took a long sip from her water bottle, eyes glued to the game. Richie hummed next to her, eyes glued to Eddie specifically. _It should be illegal for a forty year old to look like that. To move like that._

Eddie’s team ended up winning by two points and by then, every girl was on him, hugging and patting his back. He knew it was ridiculous, but Richie couldn’t help but feel the twang of jealousy and protectiveness in his gut. He felt better that Ben was there too, receiving equally as much attention for being so talented and hot. But Beverly didn’t seem to mind at all. “I’m the one he’s marrying, those girls don’t scare me.” She said.

“You’re way above them anyway.” Bill nodded, Mike and Richie agreeing easily.

“It’s not a competition babe.” Ben said as he came back underneath the umbrella, bending down to press a kiss to her forehead. “Eddie and I are going to hit the water to cool off, we’ll be back.”

“Mike and I are going back to the hotel, we’re a little sun drained.” Bill stood, folding his towel. “Meet you guys there before dinner?” They set off, leaving just Richie and Bev on the sand. 

“Hey.” She nudged his shoulder as he watched Eddie dive into a wave, clearly feeling the heat from the sun and wearing a shirt. “Want to smoke a little?”

“I thought you quit?” He raised an eyebrow as she pulled a pack of cigarettes from her purse. 

“I did, but I still indulge myself every once in a while.” She handed him one. “I usually only do it when I’m stressed, but I am very turned on by watching my man play. I need to calm back down.”

“Woah there little lady.” Richie chuckled, accepting the lighter from her. “Ben does look pretty good but _Eddie?_ ” He blew a kiss to the air with the tips of his fingers. “Magnificent work of art.”

“See, you need to calm down too.” She giggled, puffing a few times before blowing smoke into the breeze. By the time Ben and Eddie came back from the water, they both had small frowns on their faces.

“You’re smoking, is everything okay?” Ben asked, toweling off his hair. 

“I’m good, just enjoying a little sinful treat.” She smiled innocently up at him. “I’m only having one, promise. Do you want to go back to the shop to grab some souvenirs?” And so they went, leaving Richie and Eddie on the beach. The crowds started to die down and the sun started to dim, signaling the end of the evening approaching.

“Can we go closer to the water?” Eddie asked, watching him finally put out his cigarette. Richie obliged, moving the towels towards the shoreline and folding the umbrella that was no longer needed. “Don’t even think about kissing me after you just smoked. It’s a gross habit for you.”

“I haven’t smoked in so long, baby. Maybe even a decade, this was just a one-time thing like Bev said. Pinkie promise!” He sat down next to him, grabbing his hand gently. “How was the game? You were hot stuff out there.”

Eddie’s face broke out into a soft smile, his dimples spreading across his cheeks. “It was actually fun. I think my body is going to ache later because I haven’t been on a run all vacation. But… I feel really good. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this-- _free._ ”

Richie could see it too. The way his face was relaxed and his shoulders were slack. He looked so at peace just looking out over the ocean. He was in deep thought for a minute before shifting beside Richie and shrugging his tank top off, revealing his chest. “You know, I really hated this scar at first.” He ran his finger down the raised skin, breathing deeply at the sensation, almost like it was still taunting him. “But as a kid I was always so jealous of the scars you guys got from doing normal kid things. Stuff that I wasn’t allowed to do or was too scared to do. But you know what?” He tilted his head to look at Richie, probably the most calm he’s ever looked in his whole life. “I think I have the best scar of them all.”

Richie grinned at him, so fucking proud and so fucking in love. “You sure do Eds. And it doesn’t make you any less gorgeous.” He ran a palm over Eddie’s exposed shoulder. “You really are just absolutely perfect. God, and you’re covered in freckles. I knew this sun would do wonders-”

“Shut up and kiss me.” Eddie shook his head, leaning into him, not caring who was around.

“Thought you didn’t want my smoker mouth?”

“As long as it’s Richie Tozier’s smoker mouth, I’ll let it slide just this once.” He couldn’t deny that, so he leaned in and pressed their lips together, soft, warm and just a little salty from sweat and ocean water. “I love you.”

“I love you too. So much, Eddie.” Richie breathed out, wrapping his arm around him to pull him closer. “You make me so happy.”

Eddie smiled sheepishly, turning to try and hide the blush invading his face. He looked down to the rising shoreline, dipping a finger into the water and dragging it through the wet sand. Richie watched him intently, not expecting him to be writing letters. But once he figured out what he was writing it felt like all of the air was punched out of his lungs.

“R+E.” He managed to croak out, trying desperately to not start sobbing like an idiot. “Well that’s fucking cute. Who did you steal that from?”

“Don’t make me erase it.” Eddie teased, tracing over it to make the indentation deeper so that it would last longer. “You make me happy too. Sometimes I don’t think I deserve how much you love me.”

“Well being a sappy little shit isn't making me love you any less, so take it or leave it.” He took a picture of the sand, saving it in his favorites. They stayed there for a bit, just holding hands and hurling the occasional affectionate insult. Before the others came looking for them, they decided that they should probably head back to the hotel and get ready for their last dinner of the vacation. It made them both sad, the reality of having to say goodbye soon hovering over them. But there was no time to let it bring them down, Beverly made an early reservation so they needed to get a move on. 

“I’ll meet you in the room, I’m just going to go grab some new towels from the break room.” Eddie left Richie and made his way towards the vending machines and extra supplies that were free for guests to take. He heard some commotion in the room, and peeked around the corner to see who was in there. It was just Mike and Bill, standing near the machine full of chips and cookies. Thing is, they were also locked in a heated, definitely not platonic kiss. 

Eddie ducked his head back so fast, not even needing to look again to confirm what he’d seen. He dashed back down the hall towards his room and pounded on the door till Richie let him in. “Sorry.” He swallowed thickly. “I didn’t bring my key.”

“Well that doesn’t sound like you.” Richie eyed him suspiciously. “Where’s the towels?”

“Oh, they didn’t have any. We can check again later.” He shuffled past him, grabbing his clothes for the night. Richie knew he was hiding something, but he decided not to push it. Eddie wanted to tell him, but he knew that it wasn’t his place to gossip about his friends. Or their sexuality… 

They both got dressed, Eddie in a sky blue button up and tan khakis, Richie in dark grey button up and dark blue jeans. They both looked good, and it was a struggle to keep their hands to themselves. “Hey Rich?” 

“Hm?”

“It’s our last day.” He said, his voice sad. “I think… I think we should tell them.”

Richie snapped his head up from buttoning his shirt. “Woah, where is this coming from?”

Maybe it was that he just caught Bill and Mike being less than straight, and that Beverly and Ben already knew and accepted it. Or maybe it was that he was tired of being scared, tired of feeling like it was wrong to love Richie, tired of pretending to be someone he wasn’t. “I think it’s time. We’ve procrastinated this long enough. It’s not fair to you, and I just need to stop being so paranoid about everything-” Richie made his way over to him quietly, sitting beside him at the edge of the bed while he rambled. “Richie if we don’t tell them before we leave it will eat me alive.”

“Eddie, Eddie. Hey.” He palmed his cheek, pulling his face up to his. “It’s okay, it’s up to you. I don’t want you doing it though if you’re not ready. I don’t need people to know to be happy with you.” It was a promise, and he placed a chaste kiss on his lips. “You don’t need to.”

“I want to!” Eddie exhaled, covering his face. “I want everyone to know! I want your flirty fans to know, I want that bitch from the salon to know, I want your parents to know, I want _Myra_ to know-” His voice was getting more emotional. “I want everyone to know that I love you. We’ve waited so long and I don’t want to lose any more time…”

“Slow down Shakespeare.” Richie smiled softly, trying to keep his own composure. “Don’t overwhelm yourself okay? One step at a time baby, it’s gonna be alright. We have time, I promise.” He curled his arms around him in a comforting hug, butterflies fluttering in his stomach when Eddie squeezed him harder, nuzzling his face into his shirt. “Do you want to tell them before or after dinner? During dinner might be more dramatic if that’s what you want. I can make a toast and everything.”

Eddie laughed, muffled by the fabric. “That’s on brand for you but I don’t want to make our last dinner together all about us.” He smoothed out the shirt and wiped his eyes quickly before patting his leg. “We’ll figure it out, I’m sure.”

“How about we go to Bev’s room, get everybody's attention and I’ll just blurt it out?” He teased.

“It would be nice just to get it out of the way.”

“Wait seriously?” Richie raised an eyebrow. “I was joking!”

“When aren’t you?” Eddie slipped his shoes on, bending down on a knee to tie the laces. “You don’t have to obviously. But I’m not completely against that idea.”

“Oh- okay yeah.” He nodded. “I can do that… I’ll just have to work on my speech first.”

“You’re the worst.”

“I know.” Richie nodded, helping him up onto his feet. “You sure you want everyone knowing you’re dating the worst?”

Eddie wrapped his arms around his neck, inching so close that their chests were flat against each other. If anything, Richie Tozier was the _best_ thing to ever happen to him. The best thing he’s ever gotten to call _his._ “This is the most sure I’ve been about anything.”

They were excited, but also ridiculously nervous as they made their way down the hallway. Ben and Bev already knew, and Bill and Mike were apparently… acquainted in some way with the gay agenda. But still, it’s always hard to come out to people who are important to you. And the losers were the most important people to Richie and Eddie. 

“Hey! Took you guys long enough.” Ben opened the door for them, inviting them into the room. “Bev was about to start hunting you down.”

“Sounds like fun, but we didn’t want to be late to our own reveal.” He pushed past a confused Ben, grabbing a glass cup from the counter and standing on his bed. “Attention everyone!”

“Richie, what the hell are you doing?”

“Hush now sweet Bevvy, this is important!” He banged a spoon against the cup, making a god awful clunking noise. “Bill, Mikey. Now that I have everyone’s attention, I would like to just thank everyone for this vacation. May this dinner be fantastic, even though the most delicious meal I’ve had on this trip was Eddie Kaspbrak’s sweet lips.”

Eddie palmed his face, turning beat red. _I did ask for this…_

The losers just all stared at Richie with amused looks, Beverly shaking her head. “Eds and I are together… Is what I’m trying to say.”

“Yeah, Rich? How do I put this-” Mike snorted. “-no shit man.”

“That means you owe me money Mike!” Bev cheered before pointing at her fiance. “You too babe, they got together after Eddie’s bandages were off.”

“You guys bet on us!?” Eddie hissed, trying not to look so embarrassed.

“Oh we’ve had a running bet since we were kids.” Bill laughed. “Then we made another one in the hospital, sorry!”

“Wow, so no one is surprised by this?” 

“Eddie, you guys have been unofficially the married couple of the group since we were in middle school.” Bill shrugged. “But we’re all happy for you.”

“Totally guys, good for you.”

“Does that mean you’ll be each others’ date at our wedding?”

“Can I plan _your_ wedding?”

“Woah woah.” Richie laughed, slipping an arm around Eddie’s shoulders. “Slow down. We are still figuring things out but we’ll be sure to update you at your wedding. As each others’ date.” He shot Ben a thumbs up.

“Speaking of figuring things out.” Mike cleared his throat. “Bill and I uh- we are seeing each other as well.”

“Oh… wow.” Richie’s jaw went slack in shock. “I have so many questions.” Eddie stayed silent, trying to also act surprised. “I didn’t get a gay vibe from either of you!”

“Beep beep Richie!” Ben and Bev said at the same time, giving each other a funny look after. 

“Actually, Trashmouth, I like men _and_ women.” He shook his head with a grin on his face. “So does Bill. We’re just keeping it casual. Not ‘unofficially married’ like you and Eddie.”

“Hey!”

“We’ve been figuring things out in Florida since we left the hospital. And I’m leaving Audra.” Bill added. “We work great together and are still good friends, just terrible at being married to each other.” He shrugged, biting his lip. “C-can I be in the divorced club now?”

“Sounds like that’s going better for you than it is us.” Beverly giggled.

“Yeah it’s been really fun, welcome to the club.” Eddie scoffed, leaning his head onto Richie’s shoulder. “And to think we were so worried about coming out to you guys.”

“We’re stupid.” Richie agreed. “But now we can go have the most relaxed and fun dinner of all time.”

“Relaxed and fun?” Eddie looked up at him, less anxiety in those big brown eyes.

“Yeah babe. Relaxed and fun is my middle name. That shit is hyphenated.” He hunched over to press a soft kiss to his forehead, pulling fake gags and other exaggerated disgusted sounds from their friends. 

“Gross! Can we please go before they start making out or something-”

“Oh you wish Billiam!” Richie stuck his tongue out. “You’d be surprised how hot our makeouts are, Eddie has the tongue of a god-”

“Richie I will _end_ you.”

They probably laughed the entire way to the restaurant, which was a little farther than the first restaurant they’d been too. They figured that they could at least get through one of their shared fears: Chinese restaurants. It was uncomfortable at first, being as the last time they’d all sat down for Chinese they were terrorized by a demon clown. But this was different, they were safe, and in Hawaii. 

Not Derry. 

And they were all so happy. Throwing food into each other's mouths, laughing at their stupid inside jokes, and even talking through some of their trauma. There were tears of laughter and sadness. Sadness for all of the lost time, sadness for Stan, sadness for having to leave each other again. “I’d like to make a toast!” Beverly said, wiping her eyes for the hundredth time. “A toast to our friend Eddie, who we all cherish. Your birthday is coming up, and we are sad to not be able to share it with you. But we know you’ll be well taken care of.” She raised her glass towards him and Richie. “We love you, and we are so glad to have you with us.”

“Cheers!” Everyone clinked their glasses together, and Eddie smiled brightly at her. He decided that he had some things to say as well, so he read the letter he wrote to them all while in Derry. 

“Read the part about how I’m your favorite again.” Richie pointed at the small paragraph on the paper. Eddie snatched it away, glaring at him before leaning in to press a quick kiss to his cheek. The rest of them wiped their eyes, warm from Eddie’s letter. After a long moment of bickering, Richie finally agreed to let Beverly and Ben pay the bill. For real this time. And the fortune cookies were delicious and had little cheesy fortunes, no eyeballs or anything horrific this time.

“I’m going back to the shop to grab some champagne for us, anyone want to come?” Bev asked once they were all gathered outside, the sun still relatively high in the sky. Richie decided to go with her along with Ben, leaving the others to go on without them. They walked back together towards the hotel, but Eddie wanted to stay out on the boardwalk for a little longer. He waited there, taking in the last sunset of Hawaii while the ocean air soothed his face.

“Hey.” Richie said gently so as to not scare him. “I thought I’d find you here.” He sat beside him, legs dangling off of the boardwalk, hovering over the sand. “Bev and Ben went back to the hotel, they want to down a couple of bottles of champagne before we all leave tomorrow.”

“I could get behind that.” Eddie smiled, eyes still fixed to the ocean. “Even though we agreed on no more drinking. At least there’s no karaoke stage in our room.”

“You loved it.” Richie teased. “How was the rest of your vacation?”

“I had the time of my life.” He sighed, scooting closer to him. “I just wanted to enjoy the sunset one last time.”

“Mm. It is pretty.” He looked up with him in silence for a little bit before rustling around in his pockets. “I got a little something for you.”

“Oh God, what is it?” Richie smirked at him before pulling out the fanny pack from the shop. “Are you kidding me?” He took it from him, turning it over in his hands. “You spent actual money on this?”

“As cute as it would be to see you wearing it, this was more of a gift wrap really.” Richie rubbed his back. “Open it, and don’t panic.”

Eddie looked at him skeptically, fiddling with the zipper. “You really shouldn’t say that to someone when they’re about to open something…” He opened it regardless, hesitantly pulling back the flap and peeking in. “Richie?”

“C’mon, take it out.” His voice was gentle as Eddie took out the thin silver ring with a small black gem on it. “Before you freak out, this is not a proposal yet, I promise.” _Yet._ “Think of it as a little promise ring from me to you. It’s black coral, the state gem of Hawaii. It was so beautiful I had to get it.” He grabbed the hand Eddie was holding it with. “I know you said it felt weird not having a wedding ring on your finger anymore, so this is a replacement.” _A placeholder._

“Richie-”

“Bev and I took an educated guess on the size. If it doesn’t fit comfortably we can always put it on a necklace. Or we can return it and get another one… unless you don’t want it-” He was quickly shut up by Eddie’s mouth on his, kissing him deeply. Richie didn’t want to overwhelm him with a ring of all things, but it was clear that Eddie didn’t mind, telling by the tear stains left on Richie’s cheek when they pulled back.“Does this mean you like it?”

“Yes, obviously. I love you Rich. Fuck-” He sniffed, wiping his eyes. “Don’t look at me like that you’re going to make me lose it!” Richie looked down to grab the ring and carefully slipped it onto his finger. The fit was snug, and he had Beverly’s expertise to thank. How she was able to estimate his ring size just by looking was surely a superpower.

“With this ring my dearest Edward-”

“You _had_ to ruin this with a shitty accent didn’t you?”

“-I promise to love you and take care of you.” He pressed another kiss to his lips, soft and gentle. “I’m serious, you’re it for me Eds. You’ve always been it for me.” He ran his finger over the ring, lifting his hand to kiss it. “Has this moment been sappy enough?”

“Just the right amount. A little dramatic for ‘not a proposal.’” He huffed out a laugh, drying his eyes one more time. “Please tell me when you went back you bought that stupid hat too… I kind of miss it.”

“Of course I bought the fucking hat, do you know who I am?” They sat there, under the sunset for a while before heading off to Beverly’s room to drink way too much champagne.

Beverly and Ben were the first to leave in the morning. The group all went to the airport together, trying to savor the amount of time that they all still had with each other as they grabbed a quick breakfast. Neither Richie or Eddie were hungry, but they took any excuse to prolong the time that they had with the others. “Let’s do this again soon.” Bev pulled Richie into a hug last, squeezing the life out of him. “Let me know when you guys land. Take care of each other okay?” Eddie and him nodded, waving to her and Ben as they went to their gate.

The end of their vacation came too quickly, and their last day was no exception. Richie and Eddie’s flight left next, and they wished Bill and Mike farewell to Florida. Both of them felt a bit dejected on their flight, staying mostly silent while cuddling up next to one another, Eddie rolling his ring around his finger lazily. They texted the group chat once they landed safely at LAX and again when they got to the house. “We have so much unpacking to do-- _Woah,_ what’s going on Eds?” He gripped Eddie’s wrists, which were already working hurriedly on the buttons of his palm tree shirt.

“I need you to take me to the room.” He said, desperately. “I’m still kinda sad about vacation ending and very horny from not touching you for a few days.”

“Want help with that?”

“Obviously asshole- I’m literally undressing you at our front door!!”

Richie didn’t ask any more questions, he lifted Eddie into his arms and abandoned their suitcases at the door. Eddie would never admit it, but he loved that Richie was big enough to lift him up and manhandle him a bit. He yelped slightly when he was tossed onto the bed, Richie climbing over him. He peppered kisses up and down his neck, stopping to suck and nibble on the sensitive skin just below his jaw, making Eddie whimper quietly. He wouldn’t let him turn them over until he was finished leaving a dark mark on his neck.

Now that they didn’t have to hide anymore, they finally felt completely free to do what they wanted, including mark each other everywhere. But Eddie wanted more. He flipped them over, straddling Richie’s lap with his knees on either side of his thighs, their tongues licking sloppily into each other's mouths. Eddie whined, curling his fingers tight in Richie’s hair and grinding against him, tugging on the dark curls. “Rich, fuck, touch me.” It was a plea, hissing at the relief he got when he moved his hips against his. “Please, please-”

“I got you baby.” Richie hushed him as he tugged him back down, licking behind his teeth and letting out obscene moans into his mouth. He gripped his hips bruisingly tight, raising his slightly to meet Eddie’s. They were still both fully dressed, which was frustrating for their restricted hard ons, but they continued their sloppy makeout as Richie slipped his hands underneath Eddie’s shirt. Eddie shivered in his lap when he toyed with his sensitive nipple, not giving too much gratifying pressure, just teasing around it with his thumb. “I love you Eds.”

“ _Ngh-_ Love you too…” His voice was strained, swerving his hips to get more friction. “Feels good.”

“Feels good to be back in our own bed?” Richie smiled up at him in awe, even as Eddie rolled his eyes along with his hips.

“Your dick feels good, idiot… but the bed is a plus.”

“Knew it-” He was broken off by a choked noise leaving his mouth as Eddie pressed down further, the tent in Richie’s pants sliding between the fabric of Eddie’s ass. “ _Shit-_ Eds.” He didn’t answer, instead opting to connect their lips again as his trembling fingers undid the remaining buttons on Richie’s shirt. That stupid ugly shirt that Eddie somehow found so attractive on him. His hands tugged at the collar, bringing them even closer than they already were. When they pulled apart they were both panting heavily, not realizing how long they’d gone without breathing. Eddie looked beautiful hovering over him, his face flushed red with sweat beading on his forehead, and his lips swollen: he looked wrecked and Richie hadn’t even touched him yet. He grinded back onto Richie again, cursing when he pressed more firmly against his clothed entrance. “Eddie.” He tried again, his voice not coming out as strong as he wanted it to.

“What?” He answered rather frustrated, running his hands under Richie’s now opened shirt.

“What are you doing?”

Eddie shut his eyes for a moment as he tightened his legs around him, sending a harsh exhale out of Richie’s throat. “I’m _trying_ to have sex with you Richie.” 

Richie opened his mouth and closed it again when Eddie squirmed impatiently on top of him. “Seriously?” He gripped his hips tightly to halt his movements, much to Eddie’s dismay.

“Do you not want to?”

Richie laughed at the ridiculousness of that question. “I’ve literally never wanted anything more sweetheart, but we haven’t really talked about this in depth.” He rubbed his thumbs over the spots on Eddie’s hips that would surely become bruises later. “I don’t want you to rush yourself, it’s okay if you’re not ready.”

“Why would you think that?”

“I don’t know Eds. This is just happening a little out of the blue-”

“-Richie.” He cut him off firmly. “I just got back from the best vacation of my life, with my friends and your dumb ass. I’ve never been so happy Rich, so forgive me if I’m eager. Plus, we’ve been keeping the touching to a minimum for the past week and we are finally in our own clean bed. You said you wanted to fuck me, well here’s your chance.”

Richie blinked up at him, licking over his own swollen lips. “I knew this was about the bed.”

Eddie squinted down at him before chuckling. “God, you really are something Tozier. A special breed. Can’t believe you of all people make me feel so fucking happy. Even with your dumb jokes and ugly outfits.”

“You’re the special one baby.” He rolled them over, pressing Eddie into the soft mattress. “You a hundred percent sure about this?”

“So sure.” He twisted in the sheets underneath him. “You okay with being on top? I have no idea what we’re doing…”

“I will literally do anything, I can top or bottom. Whatever you want.”

Eddie bit down on his sensitive lip, thinking over his options. He was nervous to be having sex in general, especially considering that 1. It had been a while and 2. He’d never been with a man. The idea of topping Richie was intriguing, and something he’d look into, but his stomach lurched when he imagined the feel of Richie inside of him. He knew he was big, bigger than average, so it was a little intimidating. But he wanted it, _badly._ “I want you inside me.” He sputtered despite his nerves, making Richie groan loudly. “Can we just go slow?”

“Of course baby. I’ll get you feeling nice and good.” He pressed a much more gentle kiss to his lips. “Let’s get out of these damn clothes.”

By the time that they tore each other’s clothes off, Richie left him on the bed to grab supplies, digging through his drawers with urgency. He was already painfully hard and he didn’t want to keep Eddie waiting too long, who was lying naked, all sprawled out on their bed. Richie could tell he was nervous, he was never good at hiding his anxiety. But no matter how many times he asked if he was sure or if he wanted to stop, the answer was always the same. Richie placed the lube and condom on the bedside table after washing his hands thoroughly, climbing next to him and laying down on his side. 

Eddie was still flat on his back, watching his every move as they pressed up against each other. “Should I uh- take a shower before we do this?”

“You showered this morning, I think you’re fine.” Richie smirked at the uncertain expression on his face. “Try not to overthink anything okay? I’m going to take care of you.”

“I know Rich.” Eddie’s hand found the back of his neck to pull his lips back to his. “You always take such good care of me.”

“Fuck yeah.” It was a low growl out of Richie’s mouth before Eddie swallowed it with his lips, pushing their tongues back together. Richie fumbled around the top of the nightstand, reaching for the small bottle of lube. They’d probably need more soon, considering that it became a ritual to use it on each other when they would jerk off together, unless they were in a shower. “Lift up a little bit, I need more room to work.”

Eddie listened, quickly hitching his hips off of the bed so Richie could slide the pillow under him for better access. He was suddenly feeling very exposed under his stare, more vulnerable than he’d ever been in his life, even when they were being intimate in other ways.

“You still want this?” Richie asked, sensing his worrying.

“Mhm.” Eddie nodded, biting down on his lip. “Just a little nervous. I’m good though, you can start.” They locked eyes for a moment, Richie searching for any hint of regret. But he found none so he just carefully spread his legs a little wider for him. He squirted a dollop of lube onto his fingers, coating them generously and rubbing them together to warm it up.

“Hey.” He tilted Eddie’s chin away from the hand snaking between his legs. “Look at me. I want you to tell me if you want me to slow down or stop okay?”

“Yeah yeah Rich can we just get on with-” He went completely silent as Richie’s finger circled his hole. Richie dipped his head to kiss him, trying his best to distract him while he slowly pressed into him. 

“This okay?” 

“Yes.” He hissed as Richie wiggled his finger inside of him. It was strange, the feeling of someone else’s fingers inside of him. He pushed back against his hand, desperate for a little more pressure. “C’mon Richie, you don’t have to go so slow. I’m not made of glass.” 

Richie knew that when they were kids Eddie hated being treated like he was weak. Like he couldn’t handle it. So he didn’t say a word as he slipped another finger into him, scissoring them apart a little faster. He didn’t get any complaints, instead, he got a loud exhale and a tighter grip in his hair. Eddie tugged on the curls, letting him know that he wanted more, and Richie began searching. Eddie sounded beautiful with the small whines and pants falling from his mouth, but nothing compared to the gasp that left his throat when Richie crooked his fingers up right into his prostate. Richie wanted to ask how it felt, but was interrupted by the choked off scream Eddie let out when he pushed his hips down to meet his fingers for more pressure.

Richie groaned softly, pulling his fingers out to scoop up some of the lube dripping down his ass and pushed them back in, aiming for the same spot. Eddie whined high in his throat and beared down on his hand, making broken little noises. “Fuck,” Eddie shivered, breathing hard. “Fuck, Richie.”

“Have you done this before?” Richie asked, rubbing softly so Eddie could speak. 

“I’ve tried.” He panted, wiggling his hips to get Richie to move again. “It’s more work than jerking off though, and I can’t reach, _shit-_ ” His breathing hitched when his prostate was nudged again. “It feels so much better when you do it. Your fingers are longer.”  
  


“Mm, that’s so hot. Feels good?”

“Need more.” Eddie said dizzily. “Give me more.” 

“I will, baby.” Richie promised, pulling out to squirt more lube. “I don’t want you hurting, we need to work up to my size.” He chuckled at the frustrated groan he received, pushing in three fingers. “There you go. Fuck Eds, you’re tight. So fucking pretty on my fingers.”

Three fingers were more of a stretch, and Eddie loved the feeling so much that he was sure he was starting to lose his mind. He was unconsciously rocking his hips down to take his fingers in deeper, every time they would hit just right his whines would turn into, “Oh shit, Richie-- Oh fuck!” He would see white spots when he would spread his fingers inside of him, stretching him out nice and wide. He’d never seen Richie so focused, intently pumping his fingers, scissoring and spreading here and there. Not to mention how beautiful he looked with those dark curls sticking to his forehead. _He’s going to kill me._

“Richie you need to fuck me or I’m going to cum early, and I will be so pissed.”

“Someone is eager.” He answered with a smirk.

“I fucking told you I was eager- _ah!_ ” He hissed as Richie pulled out abruptly, leaving him open and pleading to be filled again. “Please, _please._ ”

“I know, I know.” Richie grabbed the condom off of the tabletop and placed the corner between his teeth to tear it, but Eddie stopped him. “What? Do you want to stop?”

“No!” Eddie said hurriedly, shaking his head. “Give me.”

Richie slowly took it out of his mouth, rotating it in his fingers. “This?”

“Yeah let me see.” He handed it to him, watching him inspect it closely before tossing it over the side of the bed. “I’ve been waiting for this forever, can we just skip that whole ordeal?”

“Eddie Kaspbrak doesn’t want to use protection? Where is he and what have you done to the real Eds?” He laughed, pouring some lube in his hand to cover himself. “You ready?”

“God _yes._ ” He grabbed Richie’s jaw tightly as he nestled in between his legs, looking dead into his eyes. “If you ask me if I want this one more time I’m going to lose it. Get in me.”

Richie laughed, pumping himself in his hands a few more times before pressing his tip against Eddie’s opening, and then he wasn’t laughing anymore. “Holy shit. I just realized that this is actually happening. Do you know how surreal this is for me?”

_“Richie.”_

“Sorry, sorry.” He nodded, focusing on the task at hand. He watched Eddie’s face closely as he breached his rim, grunting at the tight heat trying to suck more of him in. “Oh my fuck.”

“Slow Rich.” Eddie dug his nail into his arms, bracing himself. He felt thick and warm, stretching him even more than his three fingers did. By the time he slid in a few inches, Eddie’s whole body was trembling. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

“Jesus Eddie.” Richie moaned, resting his forehead onto Eddie’s. “You are still so tight, you need to relax-”

“I’m relaxed!” He snipped, breathing deeply. “Sorry, I just have a huge dick in my ass. I'm a little on edge.” Richie kept going, pressing in as slow as he could without bucking into him. It was a lot easier said than done. “Stop, stop Rich.” He planted his palms on his chest, gasping for air as Richie stilled, burrowed deep inside of him. “Jesus Christ, how big _are_ you?”

“Almost there Eds.” He grit his teeth, losing his mind at the tight and wet squeeze. “Fuck, how do you feel?” All of his focus was on not moving, which was driving him crazy.

“Full.” Eddie mewled, moving his hips to test the water. “Okay, keep going. Just go slow.” Richie nodded, continuing to push in as his thighs trembled. His eyes moved back to Eddie’s face, watching his mouth hanging open and his eyes screwed shut. Finally, Richie’s hips came to rest flat against his ass, bottoming out completely. “Fuck, wait a second.”

He felt stuffed, so filled that he felt like he couldn’t breathe, like Richie was going to stir up his insides if he moved. Eddie rocked back against him experimentally, making pathetic noises and holding onto Richie tightly. He would’ve been embarrassed by the sounds he was making, but the feeling of being so full made his brain melt and everything else fade behind the rushing of his ears. Richie placed a few gentle kisses to his scarred chest to ground him, rubbing his side softly.

“Earth to Eddie.” He smiled, brushing the brown hair from Eddie’s eyes. “Everything good?”

“So fucking good Rich.” His voice was wet, slightly overwhelmed with all of the new sensations. “You can start moving, just not all the way because I think I’ll die.”

Richie hummed out a laugh before gyrating his hips slowly, making Eddie gag on his saliva. “Fuck baby you feel good. Look at you, already look so fucked out and I haven’t even started moving yet.” He swiveled his hips again, Eddie’s back bowing off of the bed. “You always get so wet too, look at you making a mess all over yourself.” He brushed his hand lightly over Eddie’s swollen cock, groaning at the keening sound shooting out of him. 

He pulled out slightly, only a bit, before pushing back in. The slide felt amazing, and Eddie couldn’t help but twist around in the sheets. “More Rich, more-” He drew in a harsh breath as Richie complied, repeating his movements. “More, more.” It was falling out of his mouth like a mantra, rocking his hips down to meet his shallow thrusts. The slight lift of his hips gave Richie the perfect angle, ripping a yelp from Eddie. “ _Holy shit-_ I forgot that I had a prostate. Right there, _shit_ , oh my god, _yes-_ ” It didn’t hurt, but the stretch was _a lot._ More deep, more delicious.

Richie pulled out a little more, pushing in deeper. “My God Eds, you’re perfect, you’re taking me so well.” He pressed his arms against the mattress for better leverage, looking down at the work of art beneath him. Eddie’s eyes were still shut tightly, his jaw slack and small breaths getting knocked out of him with each thrust, a string of ah ah ah’s pouring out of his mouth which only spurred him on. His tan skin was covered in a light sheen of sweat, a puddle of precum pooling on his stomach: leaking a little more with every hard thrust to his prostate.

“You feel so fucking good sweetheart.” He grinned at the smile spreading on Eddie’s blissed out face, his eyes fluttering open slightly. Richie adjusted his glasses, which were slipping down his nose, needing to keep watch over Eddie’s faces of pleasure. “Eddie, Eds baby, I love you so fucking much. My beautiful boy, I can’t believe you’re letting me do this to you. Shit, I’m lucky.” He pulled out almost fully now, thrusting into him roughly. Eddie couldn’t get enough.

Richie could feel the warmth in his stomach building quickly so he slowed down slightly, much to Eddie’s frustration. “Richie please don’t stop, please.” He begged, pulling on his arms to egg him on. “Need it, God I fucking _need_ it.”

“I know, but I don’t want to cum early, babyboy.” He pressed a hard kiss to his lips, letting Eddie hook his arms around his neck to hold him there. He sucked on his tongue, panting into each other’s mouths as Richie continued with his fast, hard pace. He felt somewhat guilty, because he wanted so badly to be tender and considerate, but he was being anything but gentle now. But Eddie was also doing anything but complaining. He dipped his head to rest in the crook of Eddie’s neck, cheek to cheek as he fucked into him.

He was completely lost in the feeling of being enveloped by the tight, wet walls until he felt droplets hitting his face. He tilted his head back, instantly halting his movements at the broken sob ripping out of Eddie’s mouth. A few tears were running down his flushed cheeks, squirming underneath him. “Oh my G- Eddie are you okay? Am I hurting you?”

“No, no.” He whimpered, raising his hips. “Please don’t stop.”

“Baby-”

“They are good tears, promise.” He smiled through his scrunched face, coughing out another sob. “Please Rich, I’m so close. So fucking close, need more.” He pulled Richie down for another feverish kiss, pushing desperately against him to get him moving again. 

So he did. He picked up his pace at a more brutal rate, the loud sounds of slapping skin mixing with their moans. “I fucking love you Eddie. And I love fucking you.” He loved watching himself disappear into him, the sight making him dizzy. Eddie pleaded incoherently for more, so Richie pulled out of him until his tip was just barely inside, before slamming back in, hard. 

Eddie choked out a loud scream, a few more tears streaming down his face. He arched his back at the rough pace, Richie’s thighs hitting against him with each thrust. He moved his thumb to swipe away the tears, cupping his face sweetly. “Richie, baby, please.” Eddie wept, trying to touch as much of Richie’s chest as he could, his fingers curling in the dark hairs there. “I just need a little more, _fuck_ , touch me-- _ah ah!_ ” He moaned brokenly, bucking his hips up into Richie’s fist, where he stroked Eddie quick and hard, in sync with his deep thrusts.

Richie lowered his head to suck one of his hard nipples, tugging it lightly in between his teeth. Eddie looked down, and seeing it along with the sight of Richie’s huge cock disappearing inside of him, he came hard over Richie’s hand and his stomach. He made desperate sounds as he Richie stroked him through it. The slide of Richie’s dick slowed inside of him, making him twitch and tug roughly on Richie’s hair. “Don't, please keep going.”

“You sure?”

_“Please.”_

Richie pushed back in, catching his prostate almost immediately and making Eddie convulse under him. “Fuck Eds, baby. Fuck, I’m so close, _shit._ ” His thrusts were becoming more erratic. Eddie bit down on his lip as he continued to ram into his prostate, feeling overwhelmed but also euphoric, so much stimulation that it was borderline painful. “Eddie, I’m gonna cum. Where do you want me to-”

_Inside me, wanna feel it inside me._ Is what Eddie wanted to say, but he knew that he was not of sane mind to make that call without talking it through with Richie. “On me. Cum on me.” He settled for, moving his hands up his own chest to pinch at his sensitive nipples.

Richie growled in response, brain leaking out of his ears as he plunged in and out of the boy he loved so much. The boy he wanted to fuck like this for the rest of his life. “Eds.” _Thrust._ “I love you.” _Thrust._ “So fucking much.” _Thrust._ “Wanna always make you feel.” _Thrust._ “So good.” 

Eddie mewled underneath him, savoring the rough slide, swearing that he could feel him deep in his stomach. “Fuck. Love you too. Cum baby-” Richie cut him off, pulling out abruptly. Eddie groaned at the loss, wheezing a little at the cold and empty feeling. His focus on it was short-lived as Richie spilled across his stomach and chest, warm cum mixing with his own. 

“You’re perfect.” Richie sniffled, his eyes wet and voice emotional. “I could die a happy man right now.” He rolled over to slump next to him, slinging an arm around his waist, both of them too spent to move or clean up. “How do you feel?” He asked after a long moment.

“Mm, tired. A little sore.”

“I did all of the work! Why are _you_ tired?” He chuckled, blinking his tears away.

“Your massive dick fucking my brains out was tiring. I mean shit, Richie.”

“So it was good?” Richie asked, rubbing his thumb gently over Eddie’s tear stained cheeks. 

“It was _so_ good. Is it always that good?” He tilted into his touch, kissing his palm gently, new tears gathering at the corners of his eyes. “I spent all this time, my whole life, thinking that sex was a chore. That it was something I had to do to keep my shitty marriage from falling apart. But I just had _fun._ You fucked me so good, I cried.” He snorted when Richie wiped the fresh tears away, shaking his head. “Look, I’m still fucking crying. So yeah Rich, it was good. Amazing.”

“Good, I had fun too.” He peppered kisses all over his face, massaging over his chest. “Hey Eds, you got a little something on you.” They both looked down at Eddie's sweat and cum covered chest. Eddie smacked him, laughing quietly as he dumped his head back onto the pillow. 

“That was great and all but I feel disgusting. We need to shower and clean these sheets, they are starting to stick to me.” Richie offered to lick it off of him, snickering when Eddie grimaced. 

“I’ll get you a warm washcloth to clean you up, but can we just lay here for a little bit?” He got up, stretching out his limbs before disappearing into the bathroom to get a cloth. He came back quickly and gently wiped all of the liquids off of Eddie’s stomach and chest, feeling the pleasant vibrations of his satisfied humming. 

He slid back next to Eddie, pulling him closer by the waist. Eddie let out a low grunt, twisting in his arms to face him. “Easy big guy, I’m gonna be sore for at least a week.”

“Let’s take a nap then.” Richie curled up against him, resting his chin on top of his head, pressing a small kiss there. “We need to refuel our energy.”

“Energy for a shower?”

“Mhm. And laundry.”

“You’re ridiculous.” Eddie laughed, nuzzling his face into Richie’s chest. It was soft there, and his skin smelled like sex. Eddie would never admit it, but he kind of liked the musky smell starting to surround them. “Fine, but in twenty minutes we are getting up and cleaning.” He tugged the glasses off of Richie’s face and tossed them onto the table along with the almost empty bottle of lube. “Can't believe you kept those on. They were practically falling off the entire time and they get in the way whenever we make out.”

“Practice makes perfect Eds! And there’s no way I was missing the view.” He placed another lazy kiss to the top of his head, nosing the brown hair sticking up wildly in every direction. He grabbed his hand, intertwining their fingers and grinning at the cold feel of the promise ring, which Eddie hadn’t taken off since he put it on. “You know what I just realized? When I was fucking the life out of you-”

“Oh god…” Eddie murmured tiredly. 

“-You called me baby.” He smirked, tilting Eddie’s chin up. “Twice.”

“I guess I did.” He smiled, rolling his eyes. “Don’t get used to it.”

“Guess I’ll have to just fuck it out of you every time. You know I’m a slut for pet names sweetheart.” He said it as a joke, but his voice was rough and it made Eddie shiver with anticipation for the next time. “Mm I could do it all day. ~ _Oh Richie baby!~_ ” He imitated loudly.

Eddie smacked his chest to quiet him. “Whatever, asshole.” He shook his head, burying it back into Richie’s neck, tucked under his chin. “You know what _I_ just realized?”

“What’s that?” Richie hummed, running his other hand through Eddie’s hair contently. 

“We didn’t fucking eat dinner. And I’m _starving._ ” They both sighed, later indulging in a shower, bowls of cereal, and a good night’s sleep in clean sheets. Their perfect way to end their _first time._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I hope everyone is staying safe and healthy during this hard time!  
> I promise to keep writing as long as people stay interested (please don't let this fandom/ship die!!)
> 
> As always, I love replying to comments and kudos are always appreciated!  
> Love you all <3 hope this story can serve as a good pastime/distraction (:


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie deserves a good birthday and Richie is going to give it to him  
> &  
> Richie hosts SNL

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Mentions of physical violence and explicit content

“Thanksgiving in Maine?” Eddie folded his arms, humming against the frame of the bedroom door. He was already dressed for his morning run, surprised that Richie was able to have an actual conversation despite how sleepy he was in the morning. Eddie didn’t run as often since their vacation, body a little too sore to work out due to their recent… activities.

It had been a full week of Richie planning for Eddie’s birthday and Thanksgiving, mindblowing sex sprinkled in the mix. He couldn’t get enough of Eddie, no matter how many times they fell into bed together it seemed like it was better and better every time. Eddie got less shy and more demanding. He insisted on bottoming and even let it slip that he really liked when Richie got a little rough. They’d pretend like Richie was in complete power and control, but he was still all too compliant to do whatever Eddie said, whenever he wanted it.

A week of regularly scheduled sex was a work out in itself, but Eddie still insisted that he needed to continue his morning runs. Richie on the other hand, was perfectly fine just sticking to the sex.

“Yep, at my parents’ house in Bar Harbor. It’s a little island community, far from Derry.” He sat up a little straighter in their bed, stretching his back that was littered with fresh nail marks. “It’s really beautiful too, right near Acadia National Park. But I can get us out of it if you don’t want to go.”

“No Rich, that sounds nice.” He smiled back at him, stretching out his legs which were slightly bruised. As far as he could remember, he’d never had a Thanksgiving with family, or a normal holiday in general. “Who else will be there?”

“Usually my aunts and uncles show up with my cousins. And they show up with their kids. Oh, and sometimes my parents will invite some neighbors.” He yawned, pushing his glasses back onto his face. “It might be a lot, but we don’t have to stay the whole time-”

“I think I can handle it.” Eddie huffed, putting his headphones into his ears. “I’ll bring some Christmas gifts over for your parents.”

“Good idea, I bought them already. Don’t feel the need to go big.”

“You’re the one who always goes big.” He shook his head. It was true, and he even begged Richie not to go overboard on his rapidly approaching birthday. “What did you get them?” 

“Pft, not telling.” He grinned, folding his hands behind his head and looking at him still with tired eyes. “You have to wait till I give it to them.” Technically, his parents celebrated Hanukkah, but they weren’t traditional by any means and usually gave Richie his presents closer to Christmas anyway. 

“Whatever. Go back to sleep dummy.”

“Love you too baby, enjoy your run.” It became sort of a ritual for Eddie to come back and shower with Richie after his runs. It was fun messing around in there or just cleaning each other up. Either way, it saved water.

But Richie didn’t go back to sleep after Eddie left, instead he continued to plan extensively to make sure Eddie’s birthday would be amazing. He had the perfect plan, thought out to the tee. Frankly, he’d never even taken his own birthday so seriously. All he had to do was not fuck up.

“Hey Eds, you interested in a party later?” He asked, toweling off his hair after their shower. “A couple of my colleagues are getting together to celebrate my ‘accomplishments’ and shit.”

“Party?” Eddie repeated, tugging one of Richie’s oversized t-shirts over his head, pooling down and almost completely hiding his boxers. “What time?”

“I think it starts at eight. But you know I love to be fashionably late.”

“You can’t be late to your own party, that looks bad.” He snorted, crawling up the bed to lay in between his legs, comfortably resting his head on his chest. It was his favorite position to cuddle in, breathing in the scent of Richie while he ran his hands soothingly through his hair. Eddie never realized how much he liked his hair played with, Richie’s fingers combing soothingly through his scalp. Richie revealed that he was also a big fan of Eddie’s hands in his hair.

“Fine, I’ll be professional I guess.” He groaned, kissing the top of his head. “You don’t have to go though. I don’t plan on staying too long anyway, it’s not a big thing.”

If there was one thing Eddie hated all of his life it was parties, especially ones with strangers. But if there was one thing he would never hesitate to do it was be proud of, and for, Richie. “No, no. I’ll go.” He planted a kiss to his clothed chest. “If I don't, who will look after your ass?”

“Aw, you’re too kind.” He cooed sarcastically. “So you really want to go?”

“Mhm.” He nuzzled carefully into his chest. “Who’s going to be there?”

“Probably my team and whoever else they invite. My PA Steve and my new manager Andrew will definitely be there. Then my publicist and assistant Megan and Anthony, maybe some other people from the comedy world. Sometimes drifters pop in but there will be security.”

“Exciting.” Eddie hummed. “I’m proud of you.”

“Oh are you?” His chest vibrated as he laughed. “Tell me more.”

“You want me to feed your ego huh?”

  
“Maybe.” Richie smiled widely at him when he lifted his head off of his chest. “I like when I make you proud.” He cupped Eddie’s cheek, lightly dragging his thumb across the dimple that formed when he smiled back at him. His hands were so big that he tilted his chin up with just the bottom portion of his palm. 

“You always make me proud Rich.” He hummed, leaning more into his touch, purring like a kitten. “I know I yell at you a lot but you’re so funny. Like so funny that it’s stupid, you always know how to make everyone smile.” He tilted his head a bit to kiss his palm. “It's why you’re gonna be the best SNL host. And you’re gonna have the best Netflix special.”

“Now you’re just buttering me up.” Richie swallowed, getting a little emotional.

“I’m telling the truth.” He inched up his torso to ghost his lips over his. “I love you, and I’m so proud of you.” He finished with a firm kiss to his mouth, pulling away with a loud smack.

“You tryna make me cry?” He sniffled, laughing a bit. “Or horny, because that’s how today is going so far.”

“I literally just got you off in the shower.” Eddie huffed amusingly into his neck. “Control your hormones.”

“Says the one who asked me to fuck him three times yesterday.”

“Sorry that your mom called in the middle of the first time and killed the mood!” He laughed, grinning wide at the memory. Maggie had called at a very inconvenient time, Eddie pinned underneath Richie on the couch, almost completely naked. It was funny at first, and they both brushed it off while Maggie talked to Richie about Thanksgiving plans.

The second time Richie had his mouth around him and his PA called to talk more about SNL. It was less funny that time, and Eddie was so frustrated that he practically begged Richie to turn his phone off so they wouldn’t be interrupted for a third time. “I can’t help it that people blow up my phone 24/7 babe!”

“So this party.” Eddie rolled his eyes, changing the subject. “There will be alcohol there, correct?”

“Um duh.” Richie scoffed. “Do you know who I am? King of blowjob shots-”

“You have to promise me that you won’t get too drunk.” Eddie interrupted him. “I plan on having a little to drink and I don’t want to be responsible for watching your ass.”

“I have people that are paid to be responsible for me. But fine, I promise I won’t get stupid drunk and serenade you again.”

“Thank god.” They decided to head out earlier than they probably needed, Eddie insisting that showing up a little early was more professional. He even picked out Richie’s outfit, glaring at him when he first walked out with a pink and grey flannel and ripped blue jeans. He took control from there, choosing a nice black collared long sleeve and a pair of grey slacks. He dressed himself in a dark purple polo shirt and dark blue khakis that clung tightly to his legs. They both looked good, while still maintaining a somewhat professional look. Richie told him numerous times that it was a party, not a pitch meeting, but it wasn’t every day that Eddie got to dress him. 

“How do I look, Eds?” Richie gave him a spin as he stepped out of the car, gesturing to himself. Eddie looked him over, wanting to roll his eyes and tell him he looked like an idiot. 

But Richie was beautiful and he couldn’t help but give him a flustered smile instead. “You always look good Rich. But you are looking rather dashing this evening.”

“Mm how kind of you good sir.” He took Eddie’s arm and led him into the house, well, mansion more like. He wasn’t sure why they always needed such a big place to have a party, even when they didn’t have that many people attending. Richie knew that it had to be a rental, considering that Steve had told him not to ruin anything or his ass would be in hot water. “Is that really how you want to talk to the guest of honor?” He laughed, punching his PA’s shoulder lightly.

Steve offered a small chuckle and a head shake, turning to Eddie. “And you must be Mr. Kaspbrak.” He grabbed his hand in a tight shake, smiling politely. “Richie has not shut up about you. He’s told me way more about you than I’ve asked.”

“Just Eddie is fine.” Eddie laughed nervously. “All good things I hope.”

“So far so good. I’m surprised you can handle him, usually I’m the one cleaning up his act.”

Eddie felt a pang of possessiveness in his gut. It was ridiculous, and certainly not a competition, but if anyone was good at cleaning up after Richie it was him. Not to mention that he was still annoyed that Richie had to stop an excellent blowjob to answer his call. “I’ve been caring for him since before puberty.” He shrugged. “You don’t even know the half of it.”

“Ah that’s right! He mentioned you guys grew up together.” He nudged Richie’s shoulder. “I’m surprised I haven’t met you before. I’ve been working with this one for almost, what, ten years? Let me tell you, it’s been exhausting. Probably could’ve used you around.”

Eddie’s eye twitched and he grit his teeth slightly underneath his smile. “Happy to be here now.”

Richie sensed the growing tension and he slung an arm over each of the small men. “Well I hate to cut this off so soon, but I have more people to say hi too. Eds, the bar is over there, help yourself to anything. Steve, if you’d point me towards the most important people here, I’d like to get this out of the way.” The more he looked between the both of them, the more he realised how similar they both were. Short, big dark eyes and rigid faces, tan skin and less than intimidating frowns. _Oh._

“Good luck, I’ll find you later.” Eddie carefully removed his arm from around his shoulders. “Don’t do anything stupid.”

“I’ll try!” Richie called after him as he made his way to the bar.

“No ‘try’ Rich. Don’t make a fool of yourself.” Steve shook his head, guiding him to a group of people. Socializing was nothing that Richie couldn’t handle, he never shut up and always had something to make everyone laugh. It was his specialty.

But even so, he found himself getting tired of receiving compliments and getting introduced to new people. Every once in awhile he’d search for Eddie, watching him interact with new people, seemingly having a good time. He wanted everyone to have fun and let loose, but he cared about Eddie more than everyone else in the house combined. 

“Good to see you again.” He smiled, finishing what felt like the thousandth introduction of the night. Things were going well, which meant a lot considering the last time he was at a party his life felt absolutely miserable. Hell, Steve still had questions about why he abandoned his show and went radio silent for a month. He thought he could’ve been dead, which to be fair, he nearly was. Thankfully Megan and Anthony made for a damn good publicist and assistant.

But now he was back and better than ever, and all of the people there were there to celebrate _him._ Richie couldn’t remember any other day that he was celebrated on, not even his birthday. When you’re forty, ‘Happy Birthday’ texts from your parents don’t exactly feel special anymore.

Luckily, his life was different now. He had SNL and Netflix going for him, not to mention the love of his life also celebrating his achievements. Anything that Eddie found impressive was an achievement to him. He searched around for Eddie again, trying to avoid getting sucked into any more conversations for the sake of his brain cells, but didn’t have any luck finding him in the hallways or in any of the crowded rooms.

He should’ve known better, it was obvious that Eddie would steer clear of the masses and opt for a more secure spot, out of the limelight. “Hey Rich.” Steve gripped his shoulder and led him out of the ballroom. “We have a bit of a situation.”

“Oh no, did we run out of booze already?” He joked before Steve turned him to look forward. He’d blown through enough drinks to let loose, but he sobered up instantly when he saw Eddie chatting with someone who he most definitely should not be standing next too. “Why the _fuck_ is he here?” Richie hissed, gripping his cup so tightly that it nearly broke in his hand.

“He was not on the invite list so he must’ve come in with someone.” Steve took the cup from his hand, setting down nearby. “I was going to call security but I didn’t want to make things weird for your friend.” 

Eddie seemed reserved talking to Shawn, an old fling of Richie’s. One of the few people on the planet that Richie despised. They seemed to be casually talking, but Richie knew Shawn well enough to know that he was into Eddie. He was standing way too close for his liking, and it made him sick to his stomach whenever he’d shine that predatory smile at his Eds. “Okay. I’m gonna tell Eddie that you wanted to talk to him and I’ll distract Shawn.”

“Richie, I think we should reverse those roles-”

“No, I want to know why he’s here. He’s not going to leave until he finds me anyway.”

“Rich.” Steve gave him a warning look but sighed when Richie didn’t waver. “Fine, I’ll wait here. Do not cause a scene.”

Richie made his way carefully towards them, the music drowning out behind the sound of his heartbeat raging in his ears. Shawn was practically pressed against Eddie now with his mouth close to his ear, clearly not taking the hint that Eddie was extremely uncomfortable. But Richie could tell just by looking at Eddie, he knew him better than anyone. “Hey Eddie.” He forced out, placing his hand on Eddie’s lower back before Shawn could even think about leaning in more. “I’ve been looking for you, Steve wants to ask you something.”

Eddie looked confused and grateful at the same time, swerving around Shawn to stand next to Richie. “Oh, okay. Where is he?” He followed Richie’s finger, nodding. “Um… bye.” He said quickly, not giving Shawn much time to respond as he briskly walked towards Steve.

“Wow.” Shawn snickered, crossing his arms with a drink in one hand. “Eds is a cutie. Usually these parties are lame but it’s nice to finally see some decent looking guys around, huh? How’ve you been Trashmouth?”

“Eddie.”

“What?”

“Eddie.” Richie repeated, his jaw set. “His name is Eddie. Not Eds.”

“My bad.” Shawn raised his hands in defense. “Didn’t know you already called dibs. He’s totally your type though. Is he a new thing or have you guys already fucked?”

“What are you doing here?” He scoffed, wrinkling his nose in disgust.

“What, I can’t be here to support you?” Shawn rolled his eyes. “I heard about your success and I just wanted to come and congratulate you. Sorry, I should’ve known you’d be overdramatic.”

“Oh fuck off.” Richie sneered. “You don’t get to just pop back into my life when things are going well.” He stepped in front of his gaze, which was trailing behind him to watch Eddie. “Can you stop?”

“Holy shit, you’re a total buzzkill now aren’t you?” He laughed in his face. “Richie Tozier finally makes up his mind about liking dick and now he’s already whipped? Can’t say I blame you. He’s got this Wall Street meets Hollister look. Where’d you find him?”

“You need to leave.”  
  


“Seriously? Just because I hit on your little boy toy I have to leave?”

“No. You weren’t invited.”

“You know how these parties work Rich, it’s a goddamn free for all. Don’t take yourself too seriously. I was trying to be nice.” Shawn took a long sip from his cup. “I bet he’s real fun in bed isn’t he? He seemed to like my jokes, mind if I take a crack at him? Bet he’ll feel extra good with something in his system.” He shook his cup around. “Need a little pick me up Tozier?”

“My days of drugs and shitty guys are over, but thanks.” He flared his nostrils.

“What about him?” He nodded towards Eddie with a wink. “He’s sure liking what I slipped in his drink.”

Richie froze, time slowing around them. “What did you just say?” His heart was pounding painfully against his ribcage. _No. No no no no no, not Eddie._

Shawn shrugged with a shit eating grin, looking over at him behind his cup. Richie clenched his other hand and took a step closer to him. “Did you fucking slip something into his drink? This isn’t funny, answer me you disgusting piece of-”

“And what would you do if I did? God Tozier, you’ve gone soft. I’m never being nice to you again. But you’ve always kind of liked being stepped on haven’t you?” Shawn took a step closer too, and he looked Richie right in the eyes. “Maybe as a congratulations I’ll let you join in on the fun. I’d love to get that pretty little thing underneath me, begging like a bitch-” Eddie was watching them the entire time but things happened so fast, he wasn’t sure who swung first.

Richie and Shawn were wrestling on the floor, throwing hard punches and knees to the body in a mess of limbs and spilt drinks with Richie’s glasses strewn aside. The small crowd dispersed, giving them room to roll around and duke it out. “Richie stop!” Eddie and Steve were screaming together, pulling him out of his daze.

Richie looked up to see the blurry look of pure panic on Eddie’s face before Shawn landed a solid punch to his uncovered eye. He couldn’t see for a moment, but he felt security pulling him off and breaking the fight. “It was a fucking joke, you psycho!” Shawn spat, trying to wiggle his way out of the hold he was put in. 

“Get him out of here.” Steve ordered them, watching them drag him out of the large doors, out of sight. Richie laid on the floor for a moment, security hovering over him as they surveyed him for any more injuries and slid his glasses back onto his face. His head was killing him, and his vision in his eyes was still blurred as he looked around frantically. His nose was definitely bleeding, and he groaned as someone lifted his head to press a napkin to his nostrils.

“Get up.” He recognized it as Eddie’s voice, and he slowly stood up with the help of what felt like several other people. He still couldn’t tell exactly what was going on, but he knew he was back outside when the cool night air hit him. “What the actual fuck was that Richie!” Eddie screamed at him, sounding like he was struggling for air just as much as Richie was. 

“Hey, maybe it’s best if you two get out of here.” He heard Steve say softly. “I’ll take care of this, I’m really sorry it turned out like this.”

“No, it’s not your fault. Thank you, for everything.”

“Looks like you two are getting along.” Richie sputtered.

“Shut. Up.” Both men said simultaneously, Eddie opening the passenger door. “Give me your keys.” He handed them to him wordlessly, plopping down on the seat and leaning his aching head against the headrest. He sat there alone as Eddie and Steve talked briefly. “What the _fuck_ Richie.” Eddie stammered as soon as he slid into the driver's seat, slamming the door. 

“That guy was a fucking asshole.” 

“I’m not mad at him, idiot, I’m mad at _you.”_ Eddie scoffed, putting the car into drive with an aggravated noise. “What were you thinking?”

“He joked about drugging you! He was saying disgusting things-”

“So you got into a fight with him? How fucking old are you Richie?” His eyes were staring straight forward as he drove, venom in his voice. “What if this gets out into the press? What if he decided to press charges and you get arrested? You know that you could lose SNL and the Netflix deal right? Did you even think about that?”

“No Eds, I didn’t. He was-”

“Don’t call me that. You don’t get to call me that right now.” His voice was cold but he still said it with a struggling breath. He was clearly still shaken up. “When I saw you on the floor with him it was like I didn’t even _know_ you. The Richie that I know is not violent, and it fucking scared me to see you like that.” Now that hurt, and Richie recoiled at the thought of scaring him. He did technically kill somebody, even if it was to save Mike’s life. Not like it didn’t still haunt him, regardless of if it was Bowers. But he’d never gotten physical when anyone, especially in front of Eddie. “If this is how you act when you’re drunk and get mad-”

“I’m not drunk!”

“Well that’s even more fucking terrifying!” Eddie shot back, his body rigid in the driver's seat.

Richie dropped his head back against the headrest, clenching his eyes shut, praying that this night was just a bad dream that he’d wake up from. “I’m sorry.” 

“Are you?” Eddie shook his head, huffing out a grunt. “I felt like I needed my inhaler again. I’ve never seen you get so violent.”

“Can you stop saying that?” Richie snapped, feeling even worse when Eddie flinched in his seat. “Baby, I would never hurt you. _Never._ You know that right?” He whimpered at the dead silence Eddie gave him. “Please, Eddie, please tell me that you know that.” His voice was desperate, and the tears springing at the corners of his eyes stung against his throbbing skin. At least his eye was still _working._

“Please just stop talking.” Eddie murmured quietly, still not turning to look at him. “I don’t want to talk to you right now.” And that’s when Richie realized that for the first time in probably their entire relationship, Eddie was legitimately disappointed in him.

And it crushed him inside.

There was so much he wanted to say, but he didn’t want to fuck things up more than he already had. So he opted for staying silent and letting his tears flow freely. He felt pathetic, knowing that even though punching Shawn felt amazing, it wasn’t worth this. Letting Eddie down.

Steve assured Eddie that he’d get things taken care of, and Richie believed him. There was a reason he was such a good PA, and he’d probably be promoted soon. This wasn’t the first time that Shawn had shown up and caused issues at a party, and maybe it was finally time to take his team's advice and get a restraining order.

The ride back home felt like forever, and Eddie’s hands were white from gripping the steering wheel so hard the entire time. He parked carefully in the driveway, always complaining about how he hated Richie’s car and how he needed to buy another one. But this time he didn’t say a word, he just got out and helped Richie out of the car, leading him quietly to the front door. “Go to the bathroom, I’ll meet you there so we can take a look at your face.”

Richie just nodded, leaving Eddie behind. He waited on the toilet seat patiently, bouncing his leg up and down from the leftover adrenaline until Eddie came in quietly with an armful of ointments and cloths, slowly lowering to be level with Richie’s face. He wiped his busted lip first, dabbing it lightly with a damp cloth. “How’s your eye?” He hummed, focusing on the bruise on Richie’s cheek and the dried blood under his nose.

“Fine.”

“Lucky your glasses came off. Glass and eyeballs don’t go well together.” It was a light attempt at a joke, but Richie didn’t respond. He didn’t think he deserved to laugh. “Can you see okay?”

“Yeah.” He nodded slowly, closing his eyes at the feeling of Eddie brushing some cream over his cheekbone. “Head just hurts.”

“I’ll get you something for that. Hey, listen to me.” He waited till Richie opened his eyes again before continuing. “Take a shower, sitting down in the tub. No standing just in case you get light headed and no baths so you don’t drown. Got it?” Richie nodded again, frowning when Eddie left him in there. He didn’t seem as upset, but Richie could tell that he’d really fucked up.

When he got out of the shower Eddie was already on the bed in a t-shirt and sweatpants, reading his book intently. He glanced at Richie briefly before nodding towards the nightstand where there were two pills for his head. It took him a moment to move, swallowing thickly before shuffling over to wash the pills down with the glass of water also set out. “Eds- Eddie.” He corrected, and Eddie felt horrible at how fast he did. “Do you want me on the couch tonight?”

Eddie snapped his book shut, looking at him like he had ten heads. “What- Richie no.” He sighed loudly, pulling back the covers next to him as an invitation. It took Richie another moment to move, hesitantly sliding into the bed. “Why would you sleep on the couch?” Eddie asked softly.

“I don’t want you to be scared of me.” His voice was completely shattered and it made Eddie feel sick with guilt. “I’m sorry, Eddie I’m so sorry about tonight.”

Eddie tossed his book off of their bed, inching closer. “Richie I’m not scared of you. You did shock me, and it really sucked, but I’ve never really been scared of you. I’m sorry for what I said, I was shaken up and I was mad.”

“I would never, ever hurt you.” It was a quiet sob, and Eddie pulled him a little closer. 

“I know.” He said gently, rubbing his thumb across the bruise on his face.

“He was an ex.” Richie croaked out, shutting his eyes. “I know I shouldn’t have fought him but he just- the things he was saying about you Eddie. They weren’t jokes. He’s done them before.”

“What did he do to you?”

That was a question that Richie didn’t know how to answer. How did he tell Eddie that he used to do party drugs and occasionally let people slip them in his drinks just as a way to escape his shitty life? How did he avoid disappointing him more? “It doesn’t matter. I should’ve been the grown up and walked away.”

“Richie.”

“Can we just go to sleep please?” He whimpered, pulling away from him and lying flat on his back. “I have a killer headache.” 

Eddie knew in his gut that something wasn’t right, and that Richie was hiding something. But he decided that now was not the time to push it, especially after he grilled him for fighting. _What if that asshole really did deserve it?_

“Okay.” He rubbed Richie’s arm to calm him before turning off the lights. He knocked out quickly, trying his best to curl up next to Richie even though he could still feel the tension around them. Richie was normally a koala in bed, a fierce cuddler. But that night he laid stiff as a board, making no move to wrap his arms around Eddie. 

Eddie was extra confused when he woke up for his morning run and Richie wasn’t in bed. He rubbed his eyes, shut off his alarm, and brushed his teeth before trudging to the kitchen, still no sign of him anywhere. He had a brief moment of panic before spotting him on the couch, only illuminated by the sunrise creeping through the windows. He was staring at his computer screen, barely moving his fingers. His hair was disheveled like every morning, the dark curls springing in every direction, and his glasses hung low on his nose. “Goodmorning.” His voice was husky when he spotted Eddie, clearly still tired.

“Morning.” Eddie trudged over to him, sitting beside him on the couch and placing a palm on his back. “It’s early for you.”

“I was hoping to get an early start on writing.” He pushed his glasses up to his forehead so he could rub at his eyes. “It’s chilly outside, you still going for a run?”

Eddie tried not to pay attention to the black eye swelling on Richie’s face. “Just a short one.” He nodded, placing a kiss on his jaw, half expecting him to make a short joke. But he didn’t even try.

“Enjoy.” Richie turned his head to nose at his forehead, but pulled away without anything else. Even as Eddie got dressed and came back out to say bye, he dodged his attempt at a kiss. “I didn’t brush my teeth yet.” 

Eddie rolled his eyes and pulled him in for a kiss anyway, sighing when Richie hummed into his mouth. “Love you Rich.”

“Love you too.” He said it with a small attempt at a smile, but Eddie could tell that the night’s events were still bothering him. He figured that being tired was only aggravating it and that things would be back to normal after his run. But he was wrong.

Richie was being painfully distant, and Eddie swore he could choke on the tension in the air. He even refused their morning shower together. Eddie wanted desperately to have his stupidly goofy boyfriend back, and as the day went on it was clear that it wasn’t happening. “What is your problem?” He huffed, crossing his arms as he looked down at Richie typing away on the couch.

Richie froze for a moment before looking up at him. “What are you talking about?”

“You’re pushing me away!” Eddie frowned, making Richie feel terrible. “If this is about last night Rich, it’s over, it’s done. We can move on now.” He ran a hand through his hair and bit down on his lip. “Is it what I said? I know I sort of lost it in the car but I told you I’m sorry. I’m not scared of you okay? So you can stop acting like if you look at me I’m going to cower and hide. Or if you kiss me I’ll break.” 

“Eddie…”

“And you’ve stopped calling me Eds, do you know how much that surprisingly sucks?”

“You told me to!” Richie let out a small laugh. “Eds, baby, I’m sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong I just- I didn’t want to make any more mistakes before tomorrow. So I just kept my mouth shut… I didn’t want to ruin your birthday.”

Eddie had completely forgotten that it was his birthday the next day. He uncrossed his arms and sat next to him. “Richie. Why in the world would you think that you would ruin my birthday?”

“I fucked up last night, and I didn’t want to make it worse.”

“You wouldn’t have.”

“You don’t know that.” Richie shut his laptop. “I’m- I’m not a good person.”

Eddie let those words sink in for a second before barking out a laugh. “What?” He asked incredulously. “You’re joking right?”

“No.” 

“Well then that’s a stupid fucking thing to say.”

Richie dropped his head into his hands. “There’s things you don’t know about me Eds. Things that might scare you.” He didn’t want to tell him, but he felt that he owed it to him to show his true colors. “I remembered that last night.”

“Stop. I know you better than anyone on the planet.” Eddie gripped his shoulders firmly to turn him towards him. “There’s nothing you could tell me that would convince me that you’re a bad person.”

“God, before we went back to Derry I was terrible. I did drugs and led people on just to feel something. It was gross, and I’m sorry that I was that person. You don’t deserve that.”

“Well you aren’t that person now. Unless you’re doing drugs and fucking people when you go to use the bathroom.” Eddie smirked, pulling his hands away from his face. “Hey, I love you. I’m proud of you. And I don’t care what you did in the past. I was literally married… _to a woman._ ” It made both of them laugh. It really was crazy, how miserable they’d both been before killing IT. 

“I took off my ring for Myra, but never for you.” He waved his hand in front of Richie’s face, the promise ring still snug on his finger. “Richie, I was so fucking scared last night. But not _of_ you, of losing you. I just got you back, I can’t lose you again.” He swallowed roughly, sighing in relief when Richie’s arms wrapped around him tightly. “I worry about you constantly. I know that you are smart, too smart for your own good, but sometimes you’re an idiot and it worries me. Whenever people come up to you in public I get fucking scared that they’ll say something or do something to you… and I’ve been getting better with it but seeing someone put their hands on you was traumatizing. Because I love you, you dummy. That guy was gross, not you, and if I could do it over again I’d be more brave and help you kick his ass. I’m sorry I blamed you, I was mad and embarrassed and scared, and I didn’t know the full story. I don’t want you to walk on eggshells around me anymore, I want my Trashmouth back-” 

Richie hushed him with his lips, squeezing him tightly and burying his face into his neck. “I fucking love you. And you’re the bravest guy I know. If Shawn saw the way you whooped a demon space clown’s ass he’d probably shit himself. He’d be running away as fast as he could with a shit trail behind him.” 

“That’s disgusting.” Eddie snorted, mouthing at his jaw. Richie laid him down on the couch, resting his weight comfortably on top of him. “You skipped our shower this morning.”

“I know. I thought you needed some space.” Richie kissed along his neck, nipping at the sweet spot near his collar bone.

“I never want space from you.” Eddie tugged on his hair to bring him back to his lips. “Even when you’re being insufferable.” 

“Insufferable aye?” He repeated in a horrible accent that somehow sounded like southern crossed with British. “When am I ever insufferable?”

“Right now.” Eddie rolled his eyes along with a roll of his hips. “Doing your terrible accents while we are having a moment.”

“You love them.” Richie brushed the hair out of his eyes and cupped his chin. 

“Yeah.” Eddie hummed, looking up at him and giving him that famous knee weakening Kaspbrak smile. “For some reason I do.” It didn’t matter what Richie did, Eddie would find a way to tolerate it. And maybe that’s just a small part of how much he loves him.

“Can I touch you?” It was low out of Richie’s mouth, and Eddie didn’t hesitate to nod.

They rolled around to get his pants undone, just barely shimmying them past his thighs so Richie could get a hand on him and palm him through his boxers. He gasped lightly into his mouth, arching up into his big hand. “Can you use your mouth?” Eddie whimpered into the kiss. He still felt a little weird asking for sexual favors, but Richie _loved_ it. 

“Do I ever say no to you?” Richie nipped at his neck before sliding down his body, looking up at him as he pulled him out of his boxers. It only took a few pumps of his semi hard member for Eddie to lift his hips up to Richie’s mouth, hand immediately burying into the mop of curls when he took him into his mouth. “I love you.”

“Love you.” His breath hitched as he started to bob his head. “Love your mouth.” As much as he loved watching Richie’s tongue swirl around him, he dumped his head back onto the couch, wheezing up to the ceiling. It didn’t take him long before he was writhing on the couch, jutting his hips up to push deeper into Richie’s mouth. “You’re so hot, you know that?”

“Even with this black eye and stained shirt?” He teased, tightening his fist till his thighs twitched. The obvious answer was yes, that Eddie found him attractive no matter what he was doing. Richie Tozier would look hot to him no matter how dumb or messed up he looked.

“I’m two seconds away from cumming in your mouth. So yeah, still pretty hot.” He rolled his eyes, mouth opening slightly with a gasp and Richie huffed out a laugh, the cool puff of air radiating on his sensitive member.

He placed a wet kiss on his thigh, his stubble tickling the skin there. “Oh now you’re just buttering me up again.” He bit down on the now wet area, making Eddie leak a few drops of precome, which Richie didn’t hesitate to lick up. He took the entire length in one go, large hands grabbing roughly at his thighs.

“Rich.” He warned, giving a short tug on his hair, pulling a grunt from him. He shuddered at the vibrations, small breaths punched out of him as the next few bobs of Richie’s head pulled him over the edge.

He wasn’t sure how Richie was perfectly fine swallowing every time. Eddie had tried it once, immediately regretting it and rushing to spit down the sink. Richie told him not to push himself, but Eddie didn’t want to give up entirely. He pushed him off of his lap to tuck himself back into his boxers, scrambling to return the favor.

“Fuck Eds.” Richie groaned when Eddie took him out of his sweatpants, gingerly stroking him. He was on his back now, one long leg hanging off the couch with the other stretched straight forward, Eddie tucked carefully between them. “You don’t have to.”

“I want to.” Eddie hardly recognized his own voice when it got so low and gravely. Then again, only Richie could make him so vocal. “I love how big you are.” He proved his point by slowly dragging his tongue up his length, kissing the tip before he pulled away. “You’re the only person I’d do this to. It isn’t scary when it’s you.”

Richie smiled down at him, running a large hand through his hair. “You look so gorgeous down there. So fuck- _ing_ good.” His hips jolted when he finally took him into his mouth, fingers curling in his hair. “A mouth like yours should be illegal.”

Eddie smirked, pulling off with a loud pop. “I haven’t even gotten far.”

“Exactly, and I’m already going to explode. You’ll have to show me what porn you’ve been watching to become this- _oh holy shit--_ ” His eyes rolled back into his head and he lost all ability to think when Eddie swallowed him down till he was nudging the back of his throat. Once again, he pulled off obscenely before he started gagging, gulping down breaths. “Eddie.” 

Eddie shivered at the growl of his name, licking his lips and steadying his breathing so he could do it again. This time Richie’s hand kept him there longer, chuckling darkly when he started to make struggling noises, letting him go after his throat constricted around him. “Don’t bite off more than you can chew baby, fuck.”

“Do that again.” He sputtered, clearing his throat, already raw. “Use my mouth Rich.”

Richie’s eyes widened down at him, tongue darting out to swipe over his lips. Eddie was loud during sex, but never this vocal and dirty. He watched him silently as he went back down, clenching his eyes shut when the hand in his hair gripped even tighter. “Yeah baby? Want me to use it?” He held him there, groaning loudly as his throat constricted around him again. “Mm, you’ve got a mouth on you.”

He let him come up for air, nearly choking on the saliva dripping down his chin. Richie almost lost it right there, just seeing how erotic Eddie looked. His typically neat hair was sticking up all over the place and his lips were swollen and glossy with spit. His big brown doe eyes were glassy with tears, staring up at him with a small smile.

“Don’t look at me like that.” Richie laughed, cupping his jaw to wipe his eyes.

“Like what?” Eddie wiped his chin and blinked away the blurriness of his vision.

“All cute and innocent.” Richie hummed, petting his hair gently. “You’re not allowed to look so fucking cute with my dick down your throat.” He smiled wide when he saw Eddie visibly shiver, moving back in to wrap his lips just around the head. “I’m gonna cum soon.” He thrusted his hips up to meet Eddie’s short bobs, keening high in his throat when Eddie looked back up at him, so pretty and taking his girth so well. “You know what would wipe that little innocent look right off your face?” 

Eddie gave his jaw a break, raising an eyebrow at him questioningly. He was thinking the same thing as Richie: how did he manage to look so innocent while giving a blowjob meanwhile he was as serious as a heart attack during any other time? Maybe it was because he was distracted and relaxed when he was given something to do, a task to complete.

Or maybe he just liked having something in his mouth.

“If I came on your face.” He said boldly, his eyes almost completely black. “Can I?”

Eddie didn’t speak, just nodded at him with a small whimper. Richie’s stomach twisted just thinking about it, batting his small hand off of him and quickly pumping himself to the edge. They both writhed in anticipation, panting from the thick air. Richie felt hot all over and he felt like he could explode any second, staring deep at the man he loved more than anything.

He’d wanted it since he first knew what blowjobs were, and it was a frequent fantasy that he got off to. Marking his boy's face. Of course at the time he was ashamed, but now he realized that it was worth the wait. He cupped his face again, brushing his thumb over the soft skin of his cheek before running it over his plump lips. Eddie opened his mouth without thinking, moaning when he swirled his tongue around the long digit.

That’s all it took for Richie to shoot hot stripes across his face, emptying across his flushed cheeks and forehead, even leaking into his hair a little bit. It should have been disgusting, Eddie should’ve been horrified, but he sighed like he was completely unbothered. More than unbothered, like he enjoyed it, and the realization only made Richie tremble more. “Jesus Eds.” He managed to get out, collapsing his head back onto the cushions. 

“If your cum gets into my eye, I’m dumping you.” Eddie tucked him back into his sweatpants, patting his bulge lightly. Richie looked back down, laughing lightly as he swiped away some of his mess so it wouldn’t drip down to his eyes. He let out a small grunt seeing him stick out his tongue to lap up some that had fallen near his lips, not really hating the salty flavor and odd texture. Just like everything, it was less gross when it was Richie.

“God you’re so sexy. It should be illegal to look so good.” He sat up slowly, dragging Eddie up with him. “Let’s go get you cleaned up. Are you up for another shower?”

“Do you _know_ who I am?” Eddie snorted, following him towards their bedroom. One night without cuddling up against Richie was enough for him to feel deprived, finally fulfilled when he melted into the big arms that wrapped around his body immediately. It was blissful, the most comfortable that he’d ever slept. He took it for granted, having Richie with him. His snores were almost soothing, and Eddie didn’t know how he’d manage when Richie had to leave again for New York.

When he blinked awake, the sunlight was shining brightly through the curtains, and Eddie knew he’d be sleeping for longer than usual. He fumbled around the nightstand for his phone, but it wasn’t there. _No wonder I didn’t hear my alarm go off._

Richie wasn’t anywhere in sight either, but the mixed smells of cooking told him he was definitely in the kitchen. He padded his way toward the sounds of sizzling and clattering of pans to find his boyfriend wearing a ridiculous “kiss the cook” apron tied around his clothes. He was whistling a small tune as he turned his attention to what most certainly smelled like bacon, grabbing a set of tongs and flipping each piece. 

Eddie carefully moved behind him, peeking over his shoulder before wrapping his arms around his thick waist. His arms were just barely able to lock at his front, a perfect fit. “Goodmorning.” He pressed a kiss to his neck, and then the side of his face when he turned his cheek. His eye looked much better, but it was still swollen and dark, and he knew that he’d have to get it covered up before SNL.

“Good Morning birthday boy.” Richie smiled wide at him, turning around to kiss him firmly. Eddie smirked into the kiss, tasting the minty toothpaste on his tongue. “How did you sleep?”

“Good.” He hummed, raising an eyebrow at him. “Where’s my phone?”

“On the table.” He grinned sheepishly, pointing with the tongs. “You said you weren’t going to go out for a run, but you left your alarm on.”

“It’s set to repeat every day. And I wasn’t, but I still wanted to wake up at a decent time. It's almost noon! How did you even get into my phone?”

“I didn’t, I just took it out of the room so it didn’t wake you and I kept pressing snooze. You looked so tired so I wanted to let you sleep. Technically this was supposed to be breakfast in bed.” Richie snickered before leaning down to press a kiss to his forehead. “Happy Birthday Eds.”

“Thank you.” Eddie nuzzled his face into the apron, not really caring what could be on it. “Breakfast in bed would’ve been nice, but you make an absolute mess when you eat. The bed would be filthy.”

“I have a feeling that we’ll have to clean the sheets tonight anyway.” He said it with a wiggle of his eyebrows, but he still felt it shoot down to his stomach. “Little bit of birthday sex huh Eds?”

Eddie sunk his teeth into his bottom lip at the suggestion. “Depends on how good breakfast is.”

“Oh is that the deal? I cook and you whore yourself out for me?”

“God, don’t say it like that…” He said with a small laugh, letting him turn back around to finish what looked like an omelet. Myra used to cook for him on his birthday, but it was never like this. This was clearly special for Richie, and he never looked so focused as he was on making sure Eddie had the best breakfast -- the best birthday. He felt warm despite the frigid temperatures outside, even if it wasn’t nearly as cold as New York got in November. 

He made Richie promise not to go all out, but he knew he wasn’t going to listen. And maybe he wanted someone to fuss over him for once, not out of manipulation, but out of pure love. “So I was thinking we could open your gifts, get that out of the way, then we can go out for lunch?”

“Where?”

“It’s a surprise.” Richie winked, setting their food onto a few plates. “Is there anywhere you’d want to go for dinner?”

“Can we just binge watch Hoarders and eat here?” He grabbed his plate from him and set the table, ignoring the amused look on his face. “And can we order ice cream again?” Richie just looked at him from across the table, sitting and staring at him in silence while beaming at him. “Nevermind, that’s a stupid idea. We don’t have to-”

“How did I get so lucky?” 

Eddie blinked at him, feeling his face on fire. “What?”

“You want to stay home tonight and eat ice cream while watching Hoarders.” He repeated. “I just don’t know how I managed to hitch someone so perfect.” He held back a laugh at how cute Eddie looked when he was bashful. “Today’s your day baby. I’ll make whatever you want, I’ll order the ingredients.” Technically, every day was Eddie’s day in Richie’s mind. It could be a random fucking Tuesday and he’d be just as willing to bake a cake and cook Eddie whatever he wanted. 

Eddie knew that, and it made his heartache in the best way possible. “Okay.” He nodded. “Can you make shrimp pasta? Like, with the white wine sauce?” He still felt shy asking, even after Richie’s insistence. He never got to eat any seafood while he was a kid or when he was married. Fish and shellfish were a risk for parasites, but he shook all of that bullshit from his mind. He wanted his boyfriend to cook him some fucking delicious shrimp, and that was okay.

“Of course I can.” Richie nodded, forking a piece of his omelet into his mouth. Eddie felt at ease with that, responding quickly to the Losers’ birthday wishes before scarfing down breakfast. He shouldn’t have been surprised that Richie was such a good cook, he was amazing at everything that he set his mind to. He always went the extra mile.

Which was why he was so nervous when Richie told him to wait on the couch so he could grab his presents. He told him not to get him anything crazy, which was asking a lot of him already. He looked so cute on the couch with his hands covering his eyes, and Richie decided to record the first little surprise. “Okay Eds.” He chimed, one hand gripped on the dish and the other holding his phone. “Hands out.”

Eddie obediently held out his hands, his eyes still shut as he gently felt the plate rest in his hands. Richie sat next to him on the couch, licking his lips before telling him to look. Eddie peaked with one eye first, looking down at the dish before shooting an amused glare at him. “A cupcake Richie? It’s barely one o’clock!” He lifted the big cake up to inspect it closer, sniffing it so that the sugary goodness filled his nostrils.

“We will have a cake later.” Richie assured him. “But I wanted you to get a small treat now. Make a wish.” His heart clenched at the little grin he gave him before leaning in to blow out the thin little candle. “It’s from my favorite bakery, got it fresh this morning.”

“How early did you wake up!?”

“No more questions.” Richie plucked the candle from the frosting. “Happy Birthday!”

“Thank you!” Eddie laughed, shaking his head as Richie stopped the recording. “Are you going to wish me a happy birthday every five seconds?”

“Duh.” He blew a kiss at him. “Hey, can I post this video on Twitter?”

“Okay.” He said easily, surprising Richie. “Make sure I look good in it.”

“You always look good.” He reminded him, posting the video with the caption: 

_Happy Birthday to my favorite person on the planet (sorry @BevMarsh)_

As soon as he hit send the number of likes and retweets skyrocketed, the comments mostly about this mystery man who Richie was seen around with all the time. He brushed off the speculation, only really paying attention to the few responses that actually mattered.

**@BenHandscom** ✓

Happy Birthday Eds! :)

**@BevMarsh** ✓

Rude!! Lucky it’s Eddie <3<3<3

**@BillDenbrough** ✓

Save us some cake! (Working on convincing Mike to join Twitter)

“God Richie, this is good.” Eddie’s lips were already covered in frosting, barely managing to fit the cupcake in his mouth for a bite. “Thank you.”

“No problem baby, glad you like it.” Richie pulled him in for a sweet kiss, savoring the taste of his lips mixed with the insane amounts of sugar. “Ready for your next gift?” 

“Am I?”

“Wait here again.” He came back with three different sized presents. A small box, a thin medium thin rectangle, and a bigger rectangle. Eddie watched him suspiciously, slightly concerned at the devious smile on his face. “Ready?”

“Yes!” Eddie smiled excitedly, still a little nervous as Richie held out the smaller rectangle. It was light in weight, and Eddie rattled it lightly to see if he could guess. It made no noise, so he carefully worked his fingers to undo the colorful wrapping paper. “Where did you even find time to wrap this stuff? I’m with you every second.”

“Remember when you joked about me doing drugs and fucking people when I went to the bathroom?” Richie crossed his arms as he watched him intently. “I wasn’t. But I may have done some wrapping…”

“You’re ridiculous.” Eddie leaned in to catch his lips in a quick peck before tearing the paper and sliding out a picture frame. He turned it around in his hands, immediately recognizing the picture in it. It was the one he’d taken with him from Myra’s, the one that he’d kept in a shoebox his whole life so his mom couldn’t find it. 

The one of him and his dad.

He gripped the edges of the frame tightly, breathing in a deep breath before looking up at Richie, who was patiently waiting. “I found it in the closet. A shoebox is kind of a sad place to keep it so I thought you’d maybe want to put it somewhere in the house-” He went quiet when Eddie shook silently, a few tears falling from the corners of his eyes. “Aw baby.” He laughed softly, wiping a few tears off of his cheeks. “You’re gonna make _me_ cry.”

Eddie threw his arms around his neck, the frame still in hand. He laughed a little at himself, sniffling into his neck. “That’s really thoughtful. Thank you, I love it.”

“We aren’t done yet.” Richie kissed the top of his hair before grabbing the bigger gift, waiting till Eddie wiped his eyes and put down the frame before giving it to him. 

“That’s big, should I be worried?”

“My dick’s big, were you worried?”

“You’re disgusting.” Eddie laughed, grabbing it from him. “And yes, I was. But not anymore.” He excitedly tore open the wrapping paper again, revealing another frame, but a much much bigger frame. It had various sized slots for tons of pictures, and a couple of them were already filled in. He looked closer, laughing at the horrified expression that was on his face when he and Richie were lifted up into the sky by the parachute. One of the other losers must’ve taken it and sent it to Richie, which was why it gained a spot on the frame. He looked at the other ones, spotting the ones they had gotten from the photo booth in the arcade and the R+E that he’d drawn in the sand. Next to it was the R+E that Richie had carved on the kissing bridge.

“I wanted to get us a bigger frame for all of the new memories we’ve made.” Richie chimed in, a little antsy at his speechlessness. “Do you like it?”

Eddie nodded quickly, trying hard not to start crying again. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He took the large frame from him and carefully scooped up the smaller box. “This is the last one, promise.” He placed it into Eddie's hands gently, almost like it was fragile. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing I just-” Eddie huffed out a shy little laugh. “It’s just that this is the best birthday I’ve ever had and we haven’t even had lunch yet.”

Richie’s grin looked like it could split his face open. “God you’re so fucking cute. But maybe open this one up first, don’t be mad.”

“Why did you have to say that as I’m opening it?” His fingers worked quickly at the paper, undoing it easily to reveal the small box. It was light, but something was already rattling in it. He carefully opened it, confused at the little black oval in it. He picked it up slowly, hand recoiling when he got a better look at it. “You’re joking.”

“I’m not.”

“Richie, stop.”

“Stop what?” Richie had on a shit eating smirk, heart pounding at the mix of emotions on Eddie’s face. “Do you want to go check it out?” He stood up, gesturing to the front door. Eddie passed him, practically running out to the driveway with just his socks on to get a look at his last gift. 

Sure enough, there was the red 1967 Chevrolet Impala, just like the one he got at the arcade, just like the one Frank Kaspbrak owned. Eddie took the car key out of the box with shaky hands, unlocking the drivers' side door. Richie just watched him quietly as he climbed in behind the wheel, shutting the door after him. He put the key in the ignition and the engine roared to life, making his heart skip a beat. Richie slid into the passenger side, rubbing Eddie’s back as he rested his head onto the steering wheel, clearly a little overwhelmed. “I know you hate driving my Bentley, so I figured you could use a new ride. You said you were looking but nothing really fit.” He ran his hand over the one gripped tightly around the steering wheel. “Does this one fit?”

“How did you even get this in the driveway without me knowing?” Eddie laughed through his tears, nodding in response. “Seriously Rich how early did you wake up this morning?”

“The details aren’t important.” He wiped his face again. As sadistic as it sounded, Richie loved seeing Eddie cry. If he could, he’d make him cry out of happiness every day. “Happy birthday again.”

“Thank you again, fuck-” He hiccuped, covering his face with his hands. “I’m just… this is a lot.” Not in a bad way, Eddie never felt so loved and understood. But this car was not cheap, and he did carry a little bit of guilt.

“You can take the hood off, it’s convertible. But I’d liked the hardtop more than the mesh so it might be a pain in the ass to get off. I can help obviously but you’re the car guy-”

“How much did this cost?”

Richie stopped his rambling, chewing on his cheek. “Don’t worry about the price, just enjoy.”

“Richie.” Eddie pulled his hands away from his face, looking up at him. “C’mon, tell me.”

“It’s really not important…”

“Please. I wanna know.” Eddie gave him a small smile, wiping his eyes one more time. “Please?”

Richie sighed, not able to refuse his doe eyes and the way the corners would crinkle when he smiled. “Promise you won’t be mad?”

“Promise.”

“Fifty.”

“Fifty?”

“Yeah fifty-thousand.”

Eddie coughed up a lung after sucking in a huge breath, his heart stopping for a second. “That- for real?” He knew Richie had money, that was obvious. But he never bought lavish purchases, so dropping fifty thousand dollars on a car for Eddie was surprising. It shouldn't have been though, considering Richie loved spoiling him whenever he could.

“Yes! Well… more like sixty-ish.” He chuckled, patting Eddie’s back. “You promised you wouldn’t be mad!”

“I’m not! I just- wow.” Eddie shook his head. “You said you wouldn’t get anything crazy!”  
  


“This isn’t crazy for me Eds, do you know how much my Bentley was?”

“I don’t want to know.” He lied. “Actually yes I do, how much-”

“A little over two hundred!” Richie snickered at the way Eddie’s eyes twitched. “Don’t worry about it okay? You never let me spend this much on you, it’s your birthday.” He smiled wide when he didn’t get any pushback. “You want to take this bad boy out for a spin? I’ll direct you to our picnic spot.”

It was pretty chilly out for a picnic, but Eddie said nothing as they both went inside to get dressed. He wanted to question Richie why he packed so much for this picnic as he piled multiple bags into the back seat of the car. Was the drive worth fifty-thousand dollars? Probably not, even if Eddie loved the car and loved how smoothly it ran.

But was it worth having Richie next to him, excitedly cheering every time the engine roared? Well to Eddie, that smile was worth more than fifty thousand. More than the ridiculously priced Bentley. Even if he had to yell at him to put his head back through the window and to stop being such a dog.

Luckily winter in LA was similar to New York: no one wants to be out in the cold. It didn’t really matter according to Richie, because his secret spot was always “hidden from the world.” Richie led him down the concrete path, pushing through bushes to get to a small, vacant beach that was lit up by the sun even past the dark clouds.

It was a cute spot for a picnic, on the cool sand overlooking the waving water. “Follow me.” Richie grabbed his hand, relishing in the warm heat of his palm. He dragged him towards a wall of rock that met the shoreline. He waited until the water pulled back far enough for him to pull them around the bend, sprinting towards the other side before the water could reach them.

“What the fuck Richie!” Eddie screeched over his cackling. “A warning would’ve been nice…” He trailed off, eyeing the small tent that rested on the sand. Richie placed the bags down beside it, pulling back the fabric to reveal hung string lights and a checkered blanket laid on top of the cool sand. It was official, Richie had to have woken up _extremely_ early to plan all of this.

“I brought us some champagne and sandwiches.” He knelt down to take out two small lunch boxes and spread them out onto the blanket. “I know this isn’t Hawaii, but I know how much you like the beach. This is my special spot, no one else knows about this.” He stood back up, dusting off his pants and wrapping his arms around him. “You okay?”

Eddie swallowed hard, nodding his head with his eyes glued to the water. “It’s beautiful.” 

“Hungry?” He gripped his hand, pulling him into the tent with him, the few soft pillows adding extra cushion to the sand. “This little sweater is cute on you.” And God, if he could watch Eddie smile all day he would.

“Thank you for everything.” Eddie beamed at him, taking a bite of his sandwich. “I love you.”

Richie caught his lips in his, humming lightly as they stayed close even after they pulled away. It was nice, just eating and drinking quietly, surrounded by each other's warmth and the sound of the waves. Eddie slid onto his back, pulling Richie on top of him to lure him into a deeper kiss. They molded into each other perfectly, pressing so tightly together that it was almost hard to breathe. “Are there bees in your pants or are you just happy to see me?”

“Your phone is buzzing dipshit.” Eddie chuckled, helping him get to his back pocket. “I’m starting to think she waits to call you at the most inconvenient moments.” It was Maggie Tozier calling, and he watched Richie amusingly, still resting comfortably on his back.

“She has a sixth sense.” He pursed his lips before he put the phone on speaker. “Momma?”

“Richard!” She chimed excitedly. “How did the plan go? Is Eddie there?”

“Ma, you’re on speaker.” He laughed. “Plan went great, we’re at the beach now.”

“Speaker? Hi Eddie!”

“Hi Mrs. Tozier.” Eddie smiled, sitting up and leaning his head onto his shoulder. 

“I hope you are having an amazing birthday. How’s the car?”

“Thank you, it’s great. This whole day has been fantastic so far.” He stuck his tongue out at him. “Hopefully your son doesn’t screw up dinner.”

“Hey!”  
  


“I’ll kick his ass.” She promised. “Went, Eddie’s on the phone!” There was shuffling behind the speaker, and Went took the phone. “Happy Birthday Eddie. How does she ride?”

“Beautiful, she’s perfect.”

“Just like Frank’s.”

“Yeah.” He smiled, biting back any tears. “Just like his.”

“Well enjoy, kiddo.” Eddie shined at that, flashing back to the plenty of times that Went had called him that as a kid. It didn’t matter that he was most definitely not a kid anymore. “Maggie told me that you’ll both be coming for Thanksgiving, we can’t wait to have you. Alright, she’s attacking me for the phone, bye boys.”

“Eddie?” Her voice came back through the speaker. “Is there anything special you want for Thanksgiving dinner?”

“Huh? Oh-- no, no that’s okay!”

“He’s a sucker for coconut cream pie, ma.” Richie said into the phone, winking at him.

“Ooo! It’s been a while but I’m on it!” She sounded so excited, and Eddie didn’t have the heart to scold Richie while she could hear. “I’ll let you boys get back to your day, let me know how dinner turns out!”

“Will do mom, call you tomorrow.” Richie ended the call and tossed his phone aside, pulling Eddie back to him. “They are so excited to see you again.  
  


“Likewise.” He smiled, and it was true. Maggie and Wentworth Tozier were the closest things he had to _normal_ parents. Now that he thought about it, he could recall how devastated he was when he had to say goodbye to them after graduating high school. Leaving behind his family.

He practically lived in the Tozier house, stayed for early dinners unbeknown to his mother, and the few times that he’d managed to slip into Richie’s bed after the rare occasions Sonia allowed a sleepover. It almost hurt, thinking about how much time he’d lost between then and now. “Hey.” He gripped Richie’s face tightly. “I really really love you. Like so much.” The smile that pulled from Richie made him tingle all over. “This has been the best day of my life. And it’s all because of you. I just want you to know that I love you just as much, if not more, than you love me. Even if I don’t show it as much as I should.”

Richie took in a deep breath through his nose, blinking away the gloss from his eyes. “That’s literally impossible.” He brushed his lips against his, slow and soft. If waking up at the crack of dawn and scrambling to set up everything made Eddie have the best day ever, he’d do it all over again. “Love you more.”

“I’m not going to fight you on this.” Eddie snickered, curling his fingers around Richie’s collar to pull him back towards him. “Can we get out of here?”

“Sure. Ready to leave?”

“Unless you packed lube, yes, I’m very ready to leave.”

Richie pulled away with wide eyes. “Well now I feel like an idiot, from now on I’m bringing lube everywhere.” He fell over himself, packing up everything quickly. He collapsed the tent with everything still inside it, throwing everything into the back of the car in a pile. “I promise I’ll clean it up later.”

“You better.” Eddie smirked, sliding back into the driver’s seat. It wasn’t a long ride back to the house, but it felt like forever, especially with Richie getting handsy in the passenger seat. “Knock if off Rich, I just got this car I don’t want to wreck it.”

“C’mon, you don’t want a little road head babyboy?”

“No.” He clenched his jaw, body warming at the name. “We’re almost home. And I hate when you call me that.”

“You do?” Richie cooed teasingly, rubbing a large hand over his thigh. “Cause I think you actually like it. Don’t you?”

Eddie didn’t bother answering him, so he just gripped the steering wheel a little tighter and turned the radio up to distract himself from Richie’s wandering hand. It was gentle, but that slowly melted away when they got into their house, hurriedly touching each other like they were running out of time. Richie gripped his hands, placing them down to his sides. “Slow down Eds, there’s no rush.”

“Speak for yourself.” Eddie huffed. “I want to get fucked. Hard. Right now.”

Richie felt his face heat up, his heart stopping whenever Eddie’s filter would disappear. Not that he had much of one to begin with, but seeing him like this was different. It was incredibly sexy. “Is that what the birthday boy wants?”

“Yeah.” He nodded, grabbing at his shirt needily. “Want you to wreck me, want it bad.”

Richie surprised himself at the growl that exited his mouth as he hoisted Eddie up in his arms, his legs instinctively wrapping around his waist before he stormed to the bedroom. Eddie would never admit it, but he loved it when Richie manhandled him like he was like a small ragdoll. 

He tossed him onto the bed like he weighed nothing, purring at the little noise Eddie made when he tugged his hair back to tilt his chin towards the ceiling. “My baby wants it rough huh?” He nipped at his collar bone, drawing out a long groan from his boy. Eddie burned hot, nodding as he let him work on his neck, but not for too long because he was growing more and more needy.

Richie could tell he was getting desperate, clawing lightly at his shoulders and rutting his hips upwards. He carefully undid his pants, slipping them off of his legs and throwing them behind him onto the floor. “Oh sweetheart.” He thumbed across the wet spot in his boxers, forcing a choke out of him. “You’re already all worked up aren’t you? Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.”

Eddie gripped the bottom of his sweater, whining loudly when Richie’s fingers curled around his wrist to stop him. “Richie c’mon…”

“I’ll do it.” He rasped. “Just let me see you in this cute little sweater for a little longer.” He ran his other hand along the front of it, clicking his tongue. “Who gave you the right to be so cute?” He let out a little laugh when Eddie made grabby hands at him, letting himself be dragged down for a searing kiss. He palmed him through his boxers while they slid their tongues together, Richie eating up the strangled noises he made. Finally, he proceeded to dip the tips of his long fingers into his semi soaked boxers, wrapping around him carefully. 

“You’re really going to tease me like this?” Eddie threw his head back with a pout. “On my own birthday?”

“Don’t be a brat Eds.” He chuckled darkly, speeding up his hand. “Want it to feel so rewarding when I get in you. If you didn’t have such a hot body I’d fuck you in this.” He pulled on the collar of his sweater, and if Eddie wasn’t so drunk on Richie’s touch he’d probably scold him for stretching the fabric.

“Please.”

“I know, I know. Lift up for me.” Eddie hips immediately bowed off of the bed, allowing him to kick his boxers off quickly before Richie was on his lips again. Eddie fisted his hands into his hair, smirking at the low groans he’d let out every time he’d tug on the mess of curls. It didn’t take long before his sweater was ripped off, thrown wildly across the room. Then he was sliding down his body, kissing down his bare chest and stomach on the way. He purposely avoided his dick, mouthing at the flushed skin on his thigh instead.

It was torture, watching him leave more marks on his legs. But it was sweet, blissful torture. “You still have all of your clothes on, that seems unfair.” Eddie sighed, spreading his legs a little wider to accommodate Richie’s broad shoulders. 

“Today’s not about me.” He mumbled into his skin, pulling away to run his palms up Eddie’s chest. He rested one onto the sunburst scar rippling across the skin, dulled by the scar cream Eddie put on ritually, but it was still there nonetheless. “I love this scar, so much. You wanna know why?” He hunched forward, kissing lightly along the tattered skin. Before IT, he used to be ticklish there. But thanks to the severe nerve damage and intensive surgery, he was totally numb to the sensation. And yet, watching Richie kiss along the skin made the area blossom with warmth. “Because it’s proof of how fucking strong and brave you are. Proof that you’re a survivor.”

It was enough to get Eddie emotional, turning his head into his bicep to try to shield the tears threatening to spill out of his eyes. “Woah Eds, if you want me to take off my clothes so bad all you need to do is ask nicely.” He tilted his back towards him, planting a kiss on his cheek. “No need to get upset.”

Richie always knew how to lighten the mood, how to make Eddie feel better. “Idiot.” He muttered with a smile. “Please take off your clothes then.” It worked just like he said it would, and he sat up to unbutton the remainder of his shirt, shrugging it off along with the undershirt. While he did it, Eddie worked at his belt, sliding it through the worn out jeans and helping him push them down his thighs. He stood up in just his boxers, pulling open the nightstand to grab their brand new bottle of lube.

He settled back in between his legs, half curling next to him and hiking Eddie’s leg up for better access. They just stared at each other silently through heavy breaths as Richie warmed the lube onto his fingers before reaching to circling gently around his rim. It was sweet, Eddie thought, whenever Richie would kiss him feverently to distract him from the first long finger entering him, groaning at just how tight he felt on his fingers. They stayed like that until he could easily fit three fingers in him, kissing slowly and marking each other's collar bones. The last thing Richie needed was hickeys all over his neck along with a black eye. He shook the thought of him leaving out of his head quickly, wanting to get back to focusing on the moment.

That was the great thing about having sex with Richie. It was the one time where he was almost completely focused on the task at hand, and he was good at it. He pulled his fingers out of him gently, always feeling apologetic at the hiss Eddie would make at being empty. “Can we try something a little different?” 

That question would normally horrify Eddie, but after getting used to the concept of change, it didn’t anymore. Plus, he trusted Richie. “Sure.”

The smile Richie gave him was always worth it too. “Flip over for me.” The swirling in his stomach made him shiver, but he turned eagerly anyway, flipping so that his chest was pressed into the mattress, face nuzzling into the sheets. A new little noise, a hoarse little whine, left his mouth when Richie gripped his hips and lifted them up so that his butt was high in the air. “This view is just… wow.” He bit his lip as his big hands roamed over the plump curve of his ass. 

He was half expecting Richie to push into him right then and there, but he wasn’t prepared for the wet kisses peppering down to his hole. _“Richie.”_ He gasped, fisting the sheets.

“Mhm?” He softly licked over the sensitive ring of muscle, ripping a low wheeze from him. “You want me in you right now?”

It should’ve felt dirty. It should’ve felt disgusting and unsanitary, but Eddie couldn’t bring himself to care. He started to shake with frustration, torn between begging Richie to just fuck him already or let him continue using that magic tongue of his. “Yes but we can… continue that another time.”  
  


The loud laugh Richie barked out made him feel fuzzy, and he loosened up when he felt him move behind him. “Anytime you want Eds. Literally, like we could be at an upscale restaurant and I’d bend you right over the table. You’d probably taste better than the food anyway.”

“We’d be one hundred percent arrested, _mphf--”_ His tongue lolled out of his mouth when the tip of Richie’s warm cock breached his rim, the stretch making his mind go blank for a moment.

“You think too much, no more thinking.” He said with a smug smile, his voice straining as he pushed in slowly. Thinking was out of the question. The stretch was almost overwhelming, and with the new position he was going _deep._ It had only been a day that the hadn’t had sex, but it’s all it took for Eddie to tighten up after a week of daily activity. Richie would’ve asked if he was okay if it weren’t for being interrupted by the erotic little growls and whimpers flooding out of Eddie’s mouth as he was fully seated in him. Then he remembered what he’d said. _Want you to wreck me, want it bad._

Eddie nearly screamed as he pulled out and pushed back in quickly, nailing into his prostate dead on. He buried his forehead into the sheets, muffling his small yelps as Richie rammed into him at a steady pace. “Is it hitting your spot baby? I knew this position would feel good for you. I love making you feel good.” He stopped for a moment to drag him closer to him, gyrating his hips a little before continuing.

He felt a little bad at how rough he was being, but Eddie asked for it and it seemed as if he was really enjoying himself. He could barely string together a sentence, so his moans consisted of low curses and “god” “Richie” “yes”. 

Richie fisted his hand into his hair to drag his head out of the sheets. “Turn like this, there you go.” He thumbed along his cheek, the other one still pressed into the mattress. “Let me see that pretty face.” 

It was embarrassing to be called pretty as a forty year old man. It was more embarrassing how he’d leak a little more over their sheets, burning hot whenever he said it. And the tight grip on his neck was even more arousing, keeping him pinned to the bed while Richie had his way with him. He wondered if there would be bruises where their thighs met forcefully with each thrust.

“Christ, wish you could see how good you look from up here. This ass, your small little waist.” He pet over his hair as he propped himself up even more to fuck into him deeper. Eddie was sure that if he went any deeper he’d impale his heart, he fell so full already that his legs were shaking violently with every prod of his prostate. “You’re being very quiet, you okay?”

Eddie hesitated to respond with words but nodded feverishly when he felt his thrust start to slow down. “Fuck, yes-- holy… _sh-shit_ Rich--ie.” It took him a while and a lot of energy to get it out of his mouth. The sensations rippling through his body were enough to make him almost blackout, a ticking time bomb about to explode. He didn’t know how long they were at it like that until Richie lifted his head up by his hair and turned his head slightly to the left. 

“Look.” He instructed with a huff, and Eddie locked eyes with himself in the full length mirror that Richie had hanging near the bathroom. He never really paid any mind to it before, but now he couldn’t look away. He looked so fucked out on all fours, his face red and sweating, drool dribbling from the corners of his mouth every time his tongue flicked out of his mouth. His throbbing cock would bounce with every thrust, Richie’s larger frame moving behind him with purpose. The noise of his grunts and the slaps of skin were dulled out, almost hypnotized by the sight of them in the mirror.

“See how pretty you are?” It wasn’t till he locked eyes with Richie in the mirror, watching the toothy little grin form on his face as he gripped his hips so tight that it would definitely bruise, that he came untouched all over the sheets. His body jerked in little spazzes, nearly collapsing onto the bed if it weren’t for Richie’s thick forearm curling around his center to hold him up. He couldn’t even hear the noises he was making over the rush of blood pumping in his ears, trembling violently as Richie slowed his thrusts to slow little juts of his hips.

“Fuck Eds.” He chuckled almost sadistically. “I didn’t even need to touch you. It’s so sexy how sensitive you are, bet it feels good huh?” He used his arm to prop Eddie up so his chest arched forward and he sat on his heels, flush against his chest. They were still staring each other down in the mirror, Richie kissing his neck to ground him as his hand moved to his neck while the other one stayed on his waist. “Is it my turn now?”

“Yeah, keep going.” Eddie mewled, dumping his head back onto his shoulder. “Can you finish in me?” It surprised himself when it came out of his mouth. They had talked it over a few times before, but he never felt totally ready. As gross as it sounded, he still heard the remnants of his mother's voice scolding him. _Men are dirty Eddie. Do you want AIDS? Do you want to die?_

“Are you sure?”

But Richie wasn’t dirty. And even though having sex with Richie was the closest thing to heaven he’d ever felt, he wasn’t going to die. “Yeah, want it.”

Richie kissed his cheek before thrusting his hips up, trying to avoid his prostate as best as he could. It was slow at first, just testing the waters. It was still a lot to handle, and Eddie clenched his eyes shut at the spikes of pleasure and pain that came with oversensitivity. Richie squeezed his hand around his neck a little harder, wordlessly telling him to keep watching. 

So he did.

Richie slid a few fingers into his mouth, gasping when he sucked around them. It was comforting, having something in his mouth while Richie held him close and used him to get himself off. And fuck, the idea of it was hot for the both of them. It didn’t take long to start seeing the telltale signs of Richie’s end, the way his eyes would flutter and start to roll into the back of his head, his mouth dropping open with harsh grunts and curses spilling out. Eddie thought he looked so gorgeous like that, all pleased and fucked out.

So he told him.

“You look so beautiful Rich.” He said softly, watching him closely in the reflection. They locked eyes again, and he tilted his cheek to whisper in his ear, taking advantage of his regained ability to speak. “You make me feel so good. Every day, you’re so amazing. Can’t wait to-” He didn’t get to finish before Richie emptied inside of him, thick and hot, snapping his hips like a wild animal.

“Fuck Eds- yes… _shit shit shit--”_ His words were slurred as he slowed, hunching over and close to falling on top of him. Instead of crushing him, he used what was left of his energy to fall backward onto the pillows, sliding out and taking Eddie with him. It felt strange, being filled up to the brim. But instead of feeling disgusted, Eddie felt not a single regret, it felt good. It felt amazing actually, and maybe it was because it was a part of Richie. Every part of him was amazing. “I’m dead. I think I just died and saw God.” 

Eddie huffed out a laugh, wincing as he felt it dripping out of him: warm, smooth, and somehow soothing in a way. “Hey Rich?”

“Ya?” It was still slurred out of his mouth, clearly still drunk off of his orgasm. 

“Can you um… can you put it back in?”

That seemed to sober him up fast, and he turned on his side to spoon him tightly. “Me? Like- back in _you?”_ He asked slowly, wiping away some of the white fluid escaping down his thigh. It surprised him every time that he had Eddie next to him, with the post-orgasm glow and rosy cheeks, asking him to try new things. It made him so proud. 

Eddie nodded shyly in response, so Richie went ahead and slid back into him carefully, both men holding their breaths until he was fully sheathed in him again. He was softening, so the drag wasn’t as harsh and Eddie purred at the feeling of being filled again. And it drove Richie a little crazy. “If you like being filled so much maybe I’ll buy you a nice little plug.” He hummed, smiling at the little noise he got as an answer. “Could keep you all plugged up and ready for me. God that would be so hot.” He rubbed his hands gently over Eddie’s sore sides, kissing the back of his neck. “This is nice, being in you like this. You’ve got the best ideas spaghetti man-”

“If you don’t shut up I’m going to get a plug for your _mouth.”_

“Oo kinky.” He squeezed him tightly, breathing in his smell. Usually he was grossed out by the smell of sex, narly and rank. But it was different with Eddie, just like everything was. He smelled sweet, with the scent of his vanilla lotion hanging in the air along with sweat. He could bask in it all day, but he knew that it was only a matter of time before Eddie started complaining about being sticky. “Hey, how do you feel about a bath and then dinner?”

“A bath?” Eddie snorted. “We’ll just be sitting in our own filth.”

“Fine.” Richie rolled his eyes even though he wasn’t facing him, but Eddie could sense it from a mile away. “How about we shower this stuff off real quick and then take a bath? Think about how relaxing it will be.”

“Okay.”

“Yay!” He cheered silently, nuzzling into his neck. They didn’t mean to stay like that for long, and Eddie most certainly did not mean to fall asleep. By the time they both roused awake, the sheets were sticking to him like he hated, and Richie was filling him up as he firmed back up. That part wasn’t so bad.

“Rich.” He mumbled, rubbing his eyes. “Richie, get up.” He elbowed him gently, turning to watch him blink his eyes open. “Get out of me. I was promised a relaxing bath.” He cringed on his way to the bathroom, hurriedly getting into the standing shower before he could make a mess. Richie joined him shortly after stripping the sheets off of the bed and dumping them into a pile to be washed. Like they agreed, the shower was short, just enough to rinse away the majority of the mess before filling the tub. 

Their tub was not nearly as big as the one in Hawaii, but they made do. Eddie was just short enough to get his legs completely under the water, but Richie had to slide in behind him with his knees bent and sticking out of the water. Despite the awkward position, it felt good to be in the warm soapy water, pressed against each other.

Eddie had never felt so pleasantly pampered in his life, Richie’s long fingers scratching at his scalp to rub in the shampoo he liked. It was super rare for him to feel so relaxed, but Richie was so good at it. He was just as talented at calming him down as he was at riling him up, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

  
“Sit tight, I’m going to go put the sheets to wash and start on dinner okay?” He kissed his forehead as he climbed out to wrap a towel around him. “I’ll be back to wash your hair out.”

He didn’t know how long he was in there, it felt like the whole day was one long week. Richie had given him the birthday of a lifetime, and all before dinnertime. He came back into the bathroom with a glass of wine and his phone, placing both near the tub. “Food is started, it shouldn’t take too long to make. The pasta is boiling.”

“You left the pasta boiling?”

“Technically it’s just simmering right now.” Richie stuck his tongue out. “Hush and give me your head so I can get back to slaving away on your special dinner.” He grabbed a handful of water and slowly washed out Eddie’s hair, combing out the suds.

“It means a lot Richie.” He said after a minute, eyes shut so that the soap and water wouldn’t get in. Richie’s hands stopped for a second and he tilted his chin towards him.

“That was a joke Eds, I’m not slaving away.” He corrected, feeling bad that he may have caused Eddie to feel guilty. “Actually you picked probably the easiest meal on the planet. Pasta and shrimp, are you kidding me?” He ran one last handful of water over his wet hair, making sure that it ran clean and soap-free. “Even if I did have to slave away, I wouldn’t mind. I love cooking for you, you know that right?”

“I know.” He blinked his eyes open. “I love when you cook for me.”

“Good.” He pecked his lips, ruffling his hair a little before standing back up. “I will return when dinner is almost done. Until then, enjoy some wine. Voilà, Chardonnay for Mr. Kaspbrak.” 

Even with the sweet gesture of bringing him his phone, Eddie got bored pretty quickly, so he ignored Richie’s instructions to stay in the bath. He crept silently to the kitchen, rolling his eyes when he saw Richie wearing his stupid “kiss the cook” apron again. He did do as the apron asked, wrapping his arms around his waist just like he did in the morning and kissed his cheek lightly. “What’s cookin good lookin?”

Richie snorted a laugh at the cheesy line, proud of him. “What happened to staying in the tub while I finished up dinner?”

“I got pruney.” Eddie said, wiggling his fingers in front of his face. “Smells good.”

“You’re in luck handsome, it’s almost done.” 

The sauce smelled great, and the shrimp made his mouth water already, but Eddie also smelled something sweet in the air. “Are you making something else?”

“Maybe.” Richie grinned, draining the pasta into the sink.

“Is there something else in there?” Eddie asked excitedly, pointing to the oven.

“No.” Richie lied. “Fine, yes. But don’t open it.”

“You hiding something?” Eddie asked, knowing damn well already that it was a cake. The closer he got, the more he could smell it. 

“Sorry, I was cheating on you and you came down early so he had to hide.”

“In the oven?”

“You caught us off guard!” Richie spooned the pasta onto the plates, flashing a smug smile over his shoulder. “Leave the poor guy in there, you should be mad at me-”

“You’re an idiot.” Eddie shook his head, leaving the oven alone and wrapping his arms around his neck. “But I love you anyway. Thank you for doing all of this.”

“My pleasure hot stuff. Go sit and I’ll bring everything over.”

Eddie didn’t attempt to argue, so he just adoringly watched him bring everything to the table, placing the food in front of the chairs and filling up a tall glass of wine for the both of them. He already had a glass in the bathroom, but he’d never say no to a good wine. Especially to Richie’s far too expensive wine.

He wasn’t sure if Richie was just that good of a cook or if he was just so happy, but it was the best meal he’d ever had. Eddie knew that Richie could excel at whatever he put his mind to, but never in a million years would he expect him to be a good chef. Better than any restaurant he’d ever been to. 

“You’ll only be there for a couple of days.” Eddie smiled, dipping his fork into the leftover sauce, determined to lick the plate clean.

“I know. But I want you to come with me.”

It was tempting, going back to New York with Richie. It was so pretty especially with Thanksgiving and Christmas coming soon, despite being cold. He desperately wanted to be there to support him too, but he also knew that he’d be a distraction. He also refused to seem clingy, he should’ve been perfectly capable of being on his own for the short time he’d be gone.

“I don’t want to steal the show.” _I don’t want to weigh you down._

“That’s not even a joke, you probably would.” Richie laughed, grabbing his empty plate and standing up to bring it to the kitchen. “I’m going to change the laundry and start dishes. Then maybe you’ll get a little treat.” He said with a wink.

“I’ll go put the sheets in the drier, let me do something.” He could see the refusal in Richie’s face before he even finished the sentence. “Please, you’ve done so much already. I really want to help, you know how happy doing laundry makes me.” He could barely keep a straight face when he said it. 

“Whatever you say Eddie Spaghetti. Hey, is it cannibalism for you to be eating that spaghetti?”

“This isn’t spaghetti, dipshit. It’s Capellini, what kind of chef are you?”

“Go change the laundry before I kick your ass for slandering my good name.” Richie feigned a glare, piling all of the dishes into the dishwasher. He waited till Eddie left before taking the cake out of the oven, which had been shut off to let it cool down slightly. He knew it wouldn’t take him long, so he worked fast to get the frosting and candles on with a side of ice cream. He turned off the light in the kitchen, silently waiting for him to return. 

“Richie you let it sit too long in the wash, we better not have mildew on our sheets-” He was quiet when he turned the corner and spotted the cake in his hands. His lips slowly grew into a little grin, the dimples opening on his cheeks. Richie _loved_ his dimples. “You gonna serenade me with a performance of happy birthday?”

“Want me to?”  
  


Knowing full well that he would, Eddie waved his hands and shook his head. “No no no. Too old for that.” 

“You don’t look a day over twelve.”

“Hey!-”

“Happy birthday Eds.” Richie beamed, holding the cake up a little higher. “Make a wish.”

There was so much he could have wished for. Happiness, money, more time, more sex. He closed his eyes after rolling them, and the only thing he thought about wishing for was _this._ He didn’t know what exactly _this_ meant, but it’s all he wanted. _This_ forever.

Richie flew back to New York towards the end of the week, and it was going well so far. Eddie had driven him to the airport early in the morning, begging him to text him when he landed safely, and he did. He took the time alone to deep clean the house, making sure everything was spotless and tidy. That ate up a good portion of the day, but Eddie couldn’t help but frown at how quiet it was without his boyfriend. He never thought he’d say it, but the silence _sucked._

He was curled up on the couch, wearing just his boxers, a pair of socks, and one of Richie’s oversized tees. It wasn’t the same as having him there, but if he closed his eyes he could let himself focus on his smell that stuck to the shirt. He sent him a quick text before the show started, wishing him luck. As soon as the little read notification popped up, Richie was calling him. “Ready for the show Eds?”

“Oh I’m waiting. You’ll do great.” He smiled, but his chest tightened after not hearing his voice for a while. The stupid, annoying, voice that he loved and missed so much.

“Thanks baby.” There was shuffling behind the speaker, and he could hear him swallow. “Okay, I have to go get everything ready. Will you be awake for the whole show?”

“I plan on watching every second. I hope you work well under pressure.”

“Pressure is my middle name sweetcheeks.” He laughed. “So I’ll call you after?”

“I’ll be waiting. Good luck.”

“Break a leg, actually.”

Eddie bit his lips, holding back a laugh. “Break a leg, Trashmouth.” While he waited for the show to start he padded his way back into the kitchen to fish the leftover birthday cake from the fridge. He wasn’t even hungry, and he wasn’t particularly in the mood for sweets, but he ate some anyway just because it’s something he’d do if Richie was there. It felt empty without him, and it dawned on Eddie that this was the first time he was alone since the hospital.

The first time without Richie. 

Thankfully, he could still watch him on the tv. The SNL music started to play, and Eddie didn’t feel tired anymore, eyes glued and mind alert. He couldn’t help but smile like an idiot at the screen as Richie got on stage, waving to the audience and acting like his crazy self. “Welcome to Saturday Night Live!” He nodded as the crowd applauded. “I’m Richie Trashmouth Tozier, and it is my pleasure to be here. I want to start the show by thanking you all for the opportunity to be here, and for all of the support you’ve all given me. Before I came out, I was the gayest straight guy out there. Now I’m apparently labeled the straightest gay guy? Funny how life changes, huh?” 

He introduced a few more guests that would be performing songs and acting out sketches, and he pointed somewhere in the audience. “I also just want to take a moment to thank some lovely people in the audience. No, not my family, fuck those guys. I’m talking about some people who were there for me during the worst time of my life. As you all probably know, I walked out of a gig before I went MIA, and then I was seen at a hospital in Maine shortly after. By the way, fuck the paps, they can suck it! Anyway, I can’t disclose too much about my hospital stay because I’d have to kill you, but these guys took great care of me.” The camera turned to a section of the audience, and Eddie recognized Teegan, Alex, and Ana from the hospital.

Richie had told Eddie that he would be reserving seats for them at his first big performance, and he didn’t fall short of that promise. While he never wanted to think about Derry or that godforsaken hospital stay, he did miss them. They were good people, and they took care of them both.

He’d forever be grateful.

Eddie had spent the majority of his childhood trying to repress his laughter at Richie’s stupid jokes, constantly telling him “you’re not funny” even when they both knew he was bluffing. But there he was, decades later, crying laughing at the various sketches throughout the show. 

The first skit consisted of Richie being the first “gay bachelor”, with other comedians competing for his love. “Is Brad Pitt here? Damn, how about Ryan Gosling? No?? Are any of the hot Chris’ here… are you fucking kidding me?”

The second one was a ridiculous, definitely offensive, Jewish Santa Claus skit. He was wearing a tacky white beard and Santa Claus outfit, except it was blue with small Menorahs on it. It was full of stereotypes, which wasn’t a surprise considering that Richie was Jewish and didn’t give a flying shit. Maybe he’d be canceled over the giant fake star of David tattoo plastered onto his back, but seeing him shirtless on screen was worth it.

Eddie’s favorite skit though, was called “Father Trashmouth”. He thought that Richie would be playing a priest, which intrigued him, but he ended up playing an actual father. The parent of a child. It consisted of Richie training his kids, son and daughter, to be assholes just like him.

It was funny, especially seeing the child actors curse up a storm like their “dad”. It was strange, Eddie had convinced himself for his entire life that having children was completely off the table. He even considered getting a vasectomy when he got married. But there was something about watching Richie interact with kids that made him feel some type of way. 

Halloween, the arcade, SNL. Eddie got to see a new side of him that he’d never really seen before. He was so much calmer, more gentle and soft spoken, even if he was acting obscene for the sake of laughs. He could imagine how great he was with them off stage, his goofy and sweet self. Perfect for fatherhood. 

_Do I want kids now?_

In Richie Tozier fashion, the skit ended somewhat sentimental with a shoutout to his dad. “This one is for my father. Thanks Wentworth, for always accepting me for who I am and encouraging me to be myself. You too mom, but this sketch wasn’t about you. The next one is.” Sure enough, the last skit of the night was Richie in full drag, impersonating his mother. 

He looked funny in the makeup and hair extensions, fake breasts protruding from his shirt. Whoever was in charge of makeup and costume did a great job, and he couldn’t tell at all that he’d had a black eye. Thank god.

Eddie laughed, thinking about how his parents were probably watching and shaking their heads lovingly at their dumbass son. Their successful dumbass son, who was clearly the best host that the show had on in a while. The show closed with a short goodbye from Richie, thanking SNL for having him again. “And I also want to thank all of the losers out there for supporting me. Especially my friends, this is all for you guys. I love you all. Make sure to keep your eye out for my comedy special Trashmouth on January twenty-eighth, it’s official! Thank Netflix, those crafty motherfuckers. Thank you New York!” 

As soon as the music came on and the show ended, his phone was ringing and Richie’s picture lit up his screen. “Richie?”

“Hey you.” His voice was tired, and Eddie completely forgot how late it was. 

“Hey.” He smiled, stomach churning at the sound of his voice. “Great show. I forgot how funny you are.” 

“You’re too sweet.” He snickered over the line. “So… what are you wearing?”

The sudden question ripped a snort out of Eddie and he quickly covered his mouth with his palm. He looked down at his clothes, picking a dried spot of frosting off of his shirt. “You just got done hosting, shouldn’t you be gloating or something?”

“Humor me, Eds.”

“Fine. I’m just in my boxers, and I threw on your AC/DC tee.” He smiled at the small groan over the speaker, teasing his hand along his thigh. The marks there were still sore and sensitive, and he jerked slightly when he pressed into one. “It smells like you.” He took a deep breath, his voice wavering a little. “I miss you.”

“Wow.” Richie sounded just as afflicted. “I just went from aroused to sad in like, two milliseconds.” 

“Is it bad that I miss you so much after just a day of being apart?”

“Eddie, I started missing you as soon as I walked into the airport.”

At least the feeling was mutual and Eddie didn’t have to worry about seeming too clingy. “Come home soon.” It was quiet, and he didn’t know why he felt the need to whisper it while alone in the house. Richie didn’t answer right away, just his heaving breathing through the phone.

“I love you.” He sniffed, clearly emotional now. “I have to go, I’ll see you soon. I promise.”

“I love you too.” He puffed, hanging up on him and realizing how quiet it was in the house, almost unsettling. Even as he curled into bed he had a sinking feeling in his stomach that Richie wasn’t there. It would be his first time sleeping without Richie near him. He’d stayed by his side even in the hospital while he slept, so hindsight he should’ve never doubted how much Richie loved him. It was hard, but he managed to fall asleep.

Meanwhile, Richie was already on a flight back to LA.

He booked a flight for the night after hosting, but he learned pretty quickly that there was no way that he could wait. Especially after hearing that Eddie missed him. So he drove straight to the airport, canceling his plans of going out with the team to celebrate so that he could be home in about six hours. By the time he landed he was glad that he didn’t have his car with him, he was jet-lagged and running on no sleep. Eddie was supposed to pick him up that night, so he hailed a cab back to their house instead, passing out for the short ride.

When he finally got there, the lights were all shut off so he made it a point to be quiet when he walked in, using his phone flashlight to navigate his way through the dark halls. A part of him was unnerved by the dead silence and dimness of the hallway. It wasn’t until he got to the bedroom that there was both noise and a bit of light peeking through the doorway. He peeked his head in, and his stomach lurched when he realized that one of his old comedy specials was playing on the tv. Not only did it pain him that Eddie felt so lonely that he

needed to dig up one of his shitty shows, but he knew how Eddie felt about watching tv in their bed.

“You shouldn’t watch tv where you sleep, it fucks up your schedule.”

Luckily, Richie’s schedule was already fucked beyond belief, and he wanted nothing more than to climb in bed. He quietly stripped off his clothes and turned the tv off, pausing at the noises he was still hearing. But they weren’t from the tv or his stupid scripted jokes.

They were small tiny whimpers coming from the bed where Eddie was curled underneath the blanket. It didn’t take Richie long to realize that he was having a nightmare, and it was made even more obvious by the hushed sob that racked through his body. He felt nauseous at the sound, and he quickly moved to the bed and gently gripped his shoulders. “Eds. Eddie baby, wake up.” He softly shook his body to try and get him to wake up.

Instead, he went from trembling to thrashing quickly, trying to fight him off. “Hey, hey, hey. Eddie it’s me, it’s just me. You’re having a bad dream.” Eddie bolted up, almost knocking into his chest, his hands flying out to push him away. “Relax baby it’s me, it’s Richie.” He grabbed his phone and shined the light onto himself, wrapping his other arm around him, hoping to comfort him.

He visibly saw him swallow. “Ri-Richie?” His voice was strained and his breathing was still erratic. Richie could feel the sweat on his back, rubbing there soothingly. “You’re home?”

“Hopped on a flight right after the show.” He tried not to sound as worried as he felt. “Nightmare?” Eddie had several nightmares while in the hospital, but none where he felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest. That was mostly Richie’s deal, waking up and screaming from his nightmares. But Eddie was mostly silent, and good at hiding how much the dreams affected him. He nodded, eyes darting around the darkness of the room. He looked pale, clearly still in a state of shock at whatever he was dreaming about. “Are you okay?” Richie asked him, slowly moving his arms to cup his face.

Eddie nodded again at first, face twisting as Richie’s hands eased him back to reality. Then he quickly shook his head, tears falling down his face as he blinked. He wrapped his arms around his neck, burying his face there, and Richie wanted to puke at how badly he shook.

Richie gripped him tightly, dropping the phone and wrapping both arms around him, one around his waist and one with his hand immersed in his hair. “You left me.” The words confused Richie, but the way they were caked in dread made him tense up. He was about to apologize when Eddie hiccuped into his neck. “You left me down there.” So he didn’t mean that he left him to go to New York. In his dream Richie left him down there, down in the sewers.

_To die._

_Alone._

Richie sucked in a pained breath, shaking his head so that Eddie could feel it. “Never.” He snapped, not at Eddie but at the ridiculous idea that Richie would ever leave him. “I would never, and _will_ never leave you.” He peppered desperate kisses along the top of his head. “You’re right here, I’ve got you. And I’m not going anywhere.”

They sat like that, crossed in their bed, just holding each other tightly. He didn’t know for how long, but he didn’t move a muscle until he felt Eddie’s breathing slow and his body relax into his arms. Carefully he laid them both down, arms still wrapped tightly around him. He didn’t know how, but when he woke up in the morning Eddie was gone from his arms. 

He was alarmed until he heard the clatter of pans in the kitchen, which allowed him to relax a little bit. He realized after checking his phone that it was late, passed noon already. He wasn’t sure how Eddie was able to get out of bed without waking him. He had to have been in the deepest sleep of his life after such a long day. 

“Eds?” He murmured groggily as he zombied his way into the kitchen.

“Morning.” He answered, back turned to him as he worked on whatever he was making. “How was your beauty sleep?”

“Mm, much needed.” He wrapped his arms around him, ducking his head to rest his chin on his shoulder. “Whatcha cookin?”

“Just a quick breakfast- well… lunch really.” He flipped the sausage in the other pan, sliding some eggs onto a plate. “Are you hungry?”

Richie nodded, his hands slowly rubbing his sides. “You’re wearing my apron.” He smiled, toying with the string in the back. Eddie’s shoulders shook with a laugh. “I know you’re probably wearing it to keep your clothes clean but I regret to inform you that it hasn’t been washed in months-”

“Are you serious?”

“You didn’t see the grease stains and dried frosting all over it?”

“You’re disgusting!” Eddie shrieked, pushing him off of him and ripping the fabric from his body. He glared at him before shoving a plate of eggs and sausage into his hand. “Toast is in the toaster." 

“Do I at least get to kiss the cook?” He smirked, putting the plate on the counter and circling his arms back around him. Eddie didn’t resist, allowing himself to be pulled in for a firm kiss, body deflating in his arms. When they pulled back, Richie kept him close, hugging him tightly. His hands rubbed up and down his back lightly and Eddie knew what was coming. “How do you feel?”

He was referring to the nightmares, and Eddie just shrugged. “Better. Sorry for last night.” If Richie didn’t know better, he’d think that Eddie sounded embarrassed. “It was just a rough day without you.”

“Don’t apologize.” Richie frowned. “Some days are worse than others, it’s okay. I promise we’ll start looking into maybe getting some counseling.”

“Kay.” Eddie sighed into his chest. They ate on the couch, which Eddie usually hated but he was just glad to have him back home. Richie could tell that he was still reeling from his vivid nightmare, not wanting to think or talk about it. So he wouldn’t push, or tease him about watching his old shows. 

“Eds?” He spooned him closer as they watched a movie, not able to focus on it. “I was thinking… you should come with me the next time I leave.” Eddie threw him a look over his shoulder, so Richie just kept rambling on. “I mean, I hate being away from you too. You can come with me to the Netflix special. I think they’re looking at venues in Seattle, we can drive up there. I’ll send the Losers some tickets, we’ll all have a little road trip.”

Eddie flipped onto his other side so that he was facing him. “Really?”

“Yeah of course.” Richie smiled softly. “I want you with me.” 

“I’ll probably have to take off from work-”

“Perfect, I’ll be your sugar daddy for the time being. You can be my trophy husband.”

“Great plan.” Eddie smirked, despite how the word ‘husband’ made him heat up. “I can’t just quit the job, I just got it.”

“You don’t need to quit. But even if you did…”

“I would be bored out of my mind.” He shook his head. Richie just watched his facial expressions, and he could tell that he was thinking. He could practically see the gears moving in his head. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll go with you. To Seattle or wherever you’re going. I want to.”

Richie’s heart fluttered and the grin that cracked his face almost hurt. He pulled his lip between his teeth, thinking about taking Eddie with him to experience one of the most defining moments of his revived career. 

“I want to go everywhere with you Rich.” He kept going. “I can’t wait for Thanksgiving and Christmas with you. Or Hanukkah, whatever, I don’t really care about the specifics. As long as it’s with you.”

“Jesus, stop before you make me cry.” Richie laughed, his voice wet. 

“I’m serious, I’m so excited.” 

“Stop!” He covered his face, exhaling harshly when Eddie pressed a small kiss on the back of his hands. “God I can’t wait to take you with me.”

“We are always together, you sure you won’t get tired of me?”

“Yeah right.” He snorted. “You sure you won’t get tired of _me_?”

“No promises.” Eddie snickered, bringing his hands down from his face. “But for now I guess I’ll keep you around.”

“You say that as if I’m a bad influence to have around.” Richie feigned offense. “Maybe you’re right though… I saw that the leftover cake mysteriously vanished.” He dropped the act and laughed hard when he saw the tops of Eddie’s cheekbone flush a dark pink as he stammered.

“Whatever… I changed my mind, fuck you and fuck Seattle.” 

_“God I love you."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoy this chapter, sorry if it took so long!  
> As always, kudos and comments are always appreciated (:  
> Stay healthy and stay safe <3


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We can’t even cook a fucking turkey right. How are we going to help your parents with the real thing?”
> 
> Richie frowned at him, crossing the kitchen towards his high strung boy. Eddie had been panicking for the past few days about seeing Riche’s family for Thanksgiving. It meant a lot to him, getting to see the Tozier family again after all of these years and he needed it to go perfectly. Richie assured him that everything was going to be fine and they were going to have a good time, but Eddie couldn’t help but obsess over how to make it the best Thanksgiving ever.  
> ____________________
> 
> The boys spend Thanksgiving with the Toziers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Mentions of anxiety meds (not even sure if that should be a warning) and light smut.

“It’s burning.”

“No it’s not Eds, trust me.”

“Yes it is! I smell it burning!”

“That’s how it’s supposed to smell!”

“That is not how turkey is supposed to smell!” Eddie pushed him out of the way to open the oven, but Richie wrapped his arms around his waist to prevent him from getting far. “Richie let go!” He wiggled around stubbornly, fighting against the strong forearms that encased him.

“Nuh uh, let me do it!” Richie twirled him around easily, wrapping an arm around his neck to put him in a headlock. Luckily his arms were long, because Eddie’s elbows were a force to be reckoned with and Richie didn’t know if his ribs could take it. 

They decided to have a small Thanksgiving dinner of their own before the real deal at the Tozier’s house in Bar Harbor. They both worked together to cook some staple dishes, which was pretty fun to say the least. The mashed potatoes and green beans came out perfect, and so did the corn bread which was more of a hassle. Though the hardest part by far had to be the turkey.

It was tiny, considering that it was only for the two of them. So maybe it should’ve been easier to cook than a full-sized turkey, but it was about to start a brawl in the kitchen. Eddie stepped on Richie’s foot, hard, ripping a yelp from him. He took the moment of distraction to dash towards the oven, tugging it open while sliding the oven mitts over his hands. Richie didn’t even try to stop him now, preoccupied with balancing on one leg while rubbing his injured foot. Eddie glared at him, slowly sliding the bird out of the oven before kicking the door closed. “Look, this side is burnt, dipshit.”

“Whatever! Eighty percent looks perfectly fine!”   
  


“Yeah, good thing I took it out now before we lost those parts too!” Eddie tossed the oven mitts onto the counter and frustratedly ran his fingers through his hair. “We can’t even cook a fucking turkey right. How are we going to help your parents with the real thing?”

Richie frowned at him, crossing the kitchen towards his high strung boy. Eddie had been panicking for the past few days about seeing Riche’s family for Thanksgiving. It meant a lot to him, getting to see the Tozier family again after all of these years and he needed it to go perfectly. Richie assured him that everything was going to be fine and they were going to have a good time, but Eddie couldn’t help but obsess over how to make it the best Thanksgiving ever.

It wasn’t hard to beat for Eddie. Thanksgiving was never a fun holiday for him, especially when his mother stopped celebrating with anyone else from the rest of their family. Richie wrapped his arms around him, nosing in his disheveled hair. “Is that why you’ve been so uptight today?” He laughed at the small groan he let out as a response. “Eds, you know they love you right? They never stopped loving you.”

“Yeah…”

“They are so excited to see you again.” He promised. “So just try to relax okay?”

“Okay.” He sighed, really trying. “I’m just being ridiculous again.”

“You’re not ridiculous.” Richie pecked the top of his head, pulling away to look at the mess of a kitchen. Ingredients and cooking tools were scattered everywhere, used napkins and empty bags flowing out of the trash. “Well, maybe we are both a little ridiculous.”

It made him feel a little bit better, and as they ate their fucked up turkey they forgot about the big day slowly creeping up on them. But nothing ever really escaped Eddie, especially when he was scared. The only way he saw it possible to make it through the last night before leaving for Maine was to get completely wine drunk. And Richie let him, trying his hardest not to give in to his advances. Because drunk Eddie was two things.

Giggly and very,  _ very _ touchy. 

“Okay, I think you’re ready for bed.” Richie chuckled as Eddie ran his hands over his chest. “I’m gonna clean up the kitchen a little bit, why don’t you go lay down. I’ll be right there.” It took some negotiation, but he eventually got Eddie to go to their room. He’d never let him know, but Richie was nervous too.

There was a time that Richie went to celebrate Thanksgiving with his parents every year, but he slowly trickled off into a depressive spiral. Sometimes the only way he knew it was Thanksgiving was from the worried calls he’d get from his parents. It wasn’t their fault, they tried multiple times to get him help but at that time, Richie didn’t think anything could help. By the time that he’d finished cleaning up the kitchen, he was afraid that he’d psyched himself out of being excited to see his parents again. And that was the last thing they needed.

“You look comfy.” He smiled at Eddie, all curled up in their bed wearing only boxers and one of Richie’s hoodies. “Should’ve known that Kaspbrak can’t handle drinking.”

“Not my fault you’ve got good wine.” He grumbled, tugging the strings on the hoodie to tighten the hood around his face. “Can I tell you something?”

“Are you breaking up with me?”

“No dummy.” He giggled. “I actually haven’t been this tipsy, like ever.”

“You’re a little more than tipsy right now baby.”

“Whatever.” He waved him off. “You remember when we were at the Jade of the Orient? When we were acting stupid after drinking?” 

Richie nodded quickly.  _ Let’s take our shirts off and kiss. _ Like he’d ever forget that.

“I actually wasn’t drinking.” Eddie snorted. “After that first shot I just drank some water and tea. I can’t even remember the last time I was  _ drunk. _ Fooled you guys good though. Pretty sure you’re all a bunch of alcoholics…”

“So what I’m hearing is that you were flirting with me while you were sober?” Richie raised an eyebrow, trying to hide the way his stomach was doing summersaults. 

“Maybe. I don’t know why I’m telling you this.” He shrugged. “Get over here Tozier.”

Richie’s legs were moving before he could even finish the sentence. “This isn’t a ploy to get me to have sex with you right? You know I’m not gonna when you’re drunk right?”

“Yeah yeah you fucking sap.” Eddie shook his head, crawling next to him. “The whole point of me bringing it up is that I love you, even when I’m not drunk… like sober too. I don’t know what I’m saying anymore. Can you hold me?”

“Of course.” He reeled him in closer, wrapping his arms around him and pressing a kiss to his forehead. “I love you too.”

“Mm. You’re my favorite person on the planet, you know.”

Richie barked out a laugh, shaking his head. “Oh baby, you’re gonna regret this tomorrow.” 

Eddie snorted into his neck, the need for sleep washing over him. “Probably.”

Despite Eddie’s headache in the morning, he made sure that he and Richie were at the airport early before their flight. Another six hours on a plane was something that neither of them were looking forward to. It had been a while since Eddie took medication, especially after getting off of the one’s he was prescribed for his chest, but he shakily swallowed a big gulp of water along with a low dose Xanax. He didn’t know why he was feeling so distressed, he should’ve been excited to see Richie’s parents again. 

He didn’t know if it was because he was going to meet the rest of the Tozier family, or that he was going as a gay man who was dating Richie. 

Or maybe it was just the sense of doom that came along with returning to Maine, even if it wasn’t Derry. Thanks to the power of anti-anxiety meds, he was at least able to space out on his flight. Unfortunately, it didn’t completely stop him from thinking, and although Richie was trying his best to lighten the mood, it wasn’t helping.

“You know what might help get your mind off everything?” He snickered. “If I gave you a little road head.”

“You’re the one driving dumbass.”

“We can always switch. Or if you’re willing I can at least give you a handy, maybe it will help you relax. You’re thinking so loud right now it’s literally hurting my brain-” 

Eddie sighed, letting his head drop against the window. “Hey Rich, you love me right?”

“Of course baby, more than anything.”

“And you’d do anything for me?”

_ “Anything.” _

Eddie grabbed his hand gently and gripped it, patting the back with his other hand. “Then please, for the love of God, can we just sit in silence and listen to music? Blowjob in a rental, no way…”

Richie pouted at him, rolling his eyes. “Sure Eds. I was just trying to make you feel better.”

“You just being next to me makes me feel better.” He challenged with a small smile.

“Yeah I know, but I also know you’re still nervous.”

Eddie dragged his lip in between his teeth before turning back towards the window. “I’m not sure why.” He shook his head, almost like he was fed up with his own feelings. The sense of anxiety that he couldn’t explain. “It’s not you or your family… I don't think. I just don’t know why I feel like this.”

“It’s okay.” Richie assured him, giving his hand a squeeze. “I’m nervous too and I don’t even have a reason to be. I mean, maybe it’s because we are back in Maine or whatever but… we’re safe. You know that right?”

“I know, but I still feel like a wreck.” Eddie squeezed him back, sighing at the coolness of the window soothing his hot skin. Maine was colder than he remembered, but it was winter after all. The mountains were sprinkled with snow and the thick pine trees littered the edge of the road. He kicked himself for not being able to enjoy it. “I want to be excited but a part of me is not letting me.”

Richie bit the inside of his cheek, nodding. He felt sort of the same, but now he was starting to regret bringing Eddie along. Maybe it was too soon for them to be back in Maine. “Eddie-”

“No turning back now.” He laughed, like he could read his mind. “I’ll be okay. We’ll be okay.”

“Yeah.” Richie ran a thumb soothingly along the back of his smaller hand. Right over the ring, and it made his body warm. “Everything’s gonna be fine.”

The Tozier household was only fifty miles from Bangor International Airport , and it somewhat eased their worries once they got to the opening of Bar Harbor. It went from looking like the deep woods of Canada to the remote islands of Ireland. It almost didn’t look real, punctuated with ocean cliffs and rocky beaches, glacier formed lakes and valleys, unobstructed mountain vistas, and tall boreal forests. It looked like Hawaii if it ever had a real winter, and it was beautiful. No wonder Richie’s parents didn’t hesitate to leave Derry after he graduated.

“Fun fact Eds, we are on Mount Desert Island right now. But it’s actually pronounced ‘dessert’ like the French say it. Kind of an homage to the guy who founded Bar Harbor I guess.”

“No way.” Eddie smirked.

“It really is! I’m trying to save you from looking like a tourist. There’s a whole bunch of cutely named places. Bass Harbor, Otter Creek, and Seal Harbor. C’mon don’t those sound like towns from Animal Crossings or some shit?”

“If you’re kidding and I get laughed at for saying Dessert Island, I’m going to destroy you.” He narrowed his eyes, firmly pressing his lips together to hide a smile at the silly names. “Acadia National Park is near here right?”

“Mhm, it’s really beautiful even in the winter. Just that the lakes are frozen and the trails get icy.”

“We should come back when it’s nicer then.”

“Come back?” Richie snickered. “We haven’t even gotten out of the car, how do you know you don’t hate it here?”

“I just know.” He shrugged. “It’s beautiful here.”

“Yeah.” Richie grinned at him, sensing that they were both feeling a little better about everything. That didn’t stop Eddie’s legs from wobbling when they walked up the stone path to the front door of the Tozier House. Richie could practically feel him vibrating next to him as he rang the doorbell, giving his shoulder a comforting squeeze. He could audibly hear him swallow when his mother opened the door, letting out a little gasp at her son.

She reached out for his face for a moment, already fighting back tears before pushing him aside to get to Eddie. “My goodness, I know I shouldn’t have expected a boy but you are so grown.” She didn’t hesitate to wrap her arms around him, squeezing him tightly.

She was always a tall woman, probably why Richie was so tall, but even Eddie managed to grow an inch or two taller than her. It took him a second, but he gingerly wrapped his hands around her too, the expensive bottle of wine still clutched between his fingers.

“Jesus, you’d think he’s the son you always wanted.” Richie squinted at her, but was immediately disarmed by the innocent smile she flashed him.

“Richard.” She shook her head, throwing her arms around his neck. “I missed you too, so much. My sweet boy.” She sniffled, carding a hand through his hair. “Come inside boys, it’s chilly out.”

After a quick exchange of smiles, both boys shuffled inside and out of the brisk air. Maggie motioned for them to hang up their coats, well, jacket for Richie. “What do I always tell you about not wearing a coat? Do you want to catch a cold?”

Eddie gave him a look of ‘I told you so’ and hung his coat while Richie held his hands up in defense. “I’m a grown ass man, I have the right to catch a cold if I want.”

“Your mother is still your mother.” Wentworth appeared against the doorway, raising his eyebrows at his son. Richie stuck his tongue out before making his way over to greet him. “You know, if you’re going to be a punk you can sleep outside.” He chuckled, patting him on the back as they hugged. It didn’t take long before he turned to Eddie, flashing him a bright smile.

Eddie held out his hand for a shake, but Went pulled him in quickly, patting his back like he did Richie. “You look just like your dad.” He said it with a squeeze and Eddie just smiled in response. “You boys hungry?”

“Always.” Richie groaned, rubbing his hands together. Went motioned them to the kitchen where Maggie was standing in front of the table with her arms folded behind her back. “We missed your birthday Eddie, but it’s never too late to celebrate.”

“I know it’s not a birthday cake, but I figured you’ve had enough of that.” She smiled, revealing the tin behind her back along with a wrapped box. “I thought about saving this for Thanksgiving and making you something a little more traditional but I thought why not!” 

Despite turning a nice shade of red, Eddie could feel himself already salivating over the coconut cream pie. It looked just as good as he remembered and it took him a bit just to gather his thoughts. But just like they always had been, the Tozier’s were patient with him.

“Wow.” He finally choked out. “Thank you, this means a lot.”

“Happy birthday son.” Went nodded, gesturing to the giant wrapped box.

“Oh please… I can’t accept anything crazy-”

“We know.” Maggie interrupted him. “Richie told us you would prefer something small, the box blows it out of proportion. But you are fair game for Christmas, we agreed.” All three of them watched him intently as he surveyed the box. It was wrapped in a dark blue paper that was easy to tear under his nimble fingers. Richie was on the edge of his seat right there with him, having absolutely no clue what was in it.

It was true that he’d told them not to go crazy, which wasn’t news to them. Eddie had always been weird about accepting gifts, even if he really secretly wanted them. It was some sort of a mental block that forbade him from feeling like he  _ deserved _ to receive gifts.

He hesitantly peaked inside the gap of the cardboard box, lifting the corner carefully to uncover the neat pile of papers and clothing. Slowly, aware of three sets of eyes watching him, Eddie grasped one of the small bundles and unfolded it. It was a light wash denim jacket with several different patches on it; Coca Cola, Harley Davidson, Matterhorn, and Impala among others. He ran his thumb over the various logos as Went placed a strong hand on his shoulder.

“Your dad loved his jacket.” He said gently, halting all of Eddie’s movements. “I wanted to give you this box of his stuff before you left for college, but I didn’t get a chance. I thought if I gave it to your mother you wouldn’t get it. I’m sorry it took so long, I guess we just all… forgot.”

His grip on his shoulder tightened at the shaky breath he exhaled through his nose. Maggie smiled softly at him and reached to run her hand over his arm. “Hey darling, now that Richie’s here how about you both go grab that firewood and get it all set up?” She tilted her head at her son and husband, clearly communicating to them with her expression.

Maggie Tozier was always a perceptive woman, smart as a whip and naturally kind. And she was highly respected by everyone who knew her, even Sonia Kaspbrak back in the day, so it didn’t take long for the men to usher out of the kitchen so Eddie could have some space. “It’s okay honey. Take your time.” She gently held out her arms, offering him solace if he needed it. 

He didn’t even have time to think about the offer before his legs were carrying him the few feet and into her reach. Poor touch starved Eddie Kaspbrak, who swore his entire life that he hated to be touched, hugged her so tightly like he was afraid he’d crumble if she let him go. But she didn’t, she held him in her arms, rubbing along his back soothingly as they started to sway in the kitchen. If it was anyone else he would’ve been embarrassed, but it didn’t matter, he felt safe there. “Thank you.” He huffed out, squeezing her hips gently to let her know he was good.

She pulled away gently, but not too far out of reach so that she could still cup his face. “I just can’t stop looking at you. You look the same as you did when you left for college… but you also look so different.”

“Yeah well you look exactly the same.” He barked out a laugh, biting his lip when she ran a thumb over the dull scar on his cheek.

“Oh honey, I’m sorry. I don’t want to bring it up because Richie said you didn’t like to talk about it… but I need to ask.” Eddie’s mind raced with all of the questions that she could possibly ask him. Questions that he might not even be able to answer. “Are you alright?”

He blinked at her, staying quiet for a few seconds. “Huh?”

“Are you feeling okay? Your injuries, Richie said they were extreme so I wanted to just make sure you were feeling better and that everything is good.” She placed a gentle hand onto his chest almost like she was checking to make sure the hole wasn’t still there. He covered her hand with his and nodded, smiling at her concern.

“Yeah Maggie. I’m okay, it’s been fairly easy to be okay with your son around.”

“Thank God.” She said under her breath, combing through his hair quickly before pulling away from him completely. “While they are doing God knows what, could you lend me a hand with dinner? I promise you can sample the pie after!”

Meanwhile, Richie was scolding his dad as they laid firewood into the fireplace in a pile. “All I’m saying is that a warning would’ve been nice. His parents are a sensitive topic.”

“Relax Richard.” Wentworth adjusted a few of the logs before turning to him. “He deserves to have some memorabilia from his father. Don’t you think it’s sweet?”

“I mean yeah-” Richie sighed, sitting down next to him by the fireplace. He didn’t know how to articulate into words how all he wanted was to protect Eddie. “-I just hate seeing him get emotional, part of me just wants to shelter him from all that. I hate seeing him not happy.”

Went laid down the last log and narrowed his eyes at his son. “Don’t you think that’s the _ last  _ thing that he wants? That he needs? Sonia never let the poor boy be himself, I think the worst thing you can do is shelter him even more. Especially against his will.” Richie had nothing to say to that, he knew his dad was right. And smart. “How has everything else been with you two?”

Well there was a lot to say to that, but he refrained. “Good.” He said simply. 

“How long is he going to be staying with you?”

Richie almost let out a laugh, but he held it together.  _ Hopefully forever, _ he wanted to say but he just shrugged. “A while probably. It’s nice having him around.” Went’s lips curled from their thin line into a smirk.

“You both seem just as close as when you were kids.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Richie gaped at his father before biting the inside of his cheek. “Why are you laughing?”

“Because you’re funny son.” He sighed after his short fit. “You’ve always been funny.” Again, Richie didn’t know how to respond to that. Went always encouraged him to be open, especially with his humor. But as he stood before him, Richie had nothing. “You know… when your mother and I were young we ended up taking a little break. We thought that maybe some time apart would be good for us, but really it showed us how badly we wanted to be together. A few days after we reconnected, I proposed.”

“Okay?”

“My point is, sometimes being away from someone makes you remember just how much you cherish them.” He smiled, standing up and helping Richie off of the floor. “Just something to think about. You up for a cigar with your old man? It’ll be like the old days.”

Richie followed him outside after shrugging on his jacket, the whole time thinking about what his father said. He took a drag of the cigar, puffing out a large cloud of smoke. “How did you know you wanted to marry mom?”

“Hm.” Went took a long puff of his own cigar, looking in the distance over at the docks, thinking. “Well, I knew I loved her, that’s just something that I felt. I can’t tell you what love feels like, it’s something that you can’t describe. But you’ll know you are marrying the right person when you feel support and encouragement about your own growth, both emotionally and intellectually. There’s a lot that goes with that Richard. Love only goes so far, if that was all that it takes, not many people would get divorced. You need communication, trust, values. Compatibility in regards to personality and sex-”

“Gross.”

“-And you have to work together to solve issues. No one is perfect, and there will be times where it feels like things are getting tuff but you have to remember that it’s you both versus the problem.” Went paused to take another drag of his cigar. “Does Eddie want to get married?”

The sudden question made Richie choke on the smoke, desperately sputtering for fresh air. “I mean- fuck, I don’t know. He’s still in the process of getting divorced, it will probably take a few months so… I don’t think he’s thinking about getting married like, at all.”

“Have you both ever talked about it?”

Richie shook his head, following his father’s gaze towards the distant water. The more he thought about it, the more he realized how much of a weirdo he was as a kid. Not only was he a Trashmouth at a young age, and not only was he one of the gayest kids to come out of Derry. He was also planning to marry Eddie ever since he first realized that he was in love with him. Not many young boys think about marriage at that age. Hell, most adults don’t fall in love like Richie fell in love with Eddie. But Richie’s father wasn’t blind, and he saw it all fall into place when his son was a young boy. 

In the kitchen, Maggie was stirring a large pot of clam chowder, a recipe that she’d perfected during her time living in Bar Harbor. “Okay, you can add the garlic now.” She instructed, slowing down her hand.

Eddie did what he was told and watched her mix it all in before he started to chop the celery. “I’ve never had clam chowder before.” He admitted, washing the vegetable carefully before taking the knife to it.

“Really?” She looked surprised, frowning down at the pot. “I didn’t even think to ask, I’m sorry. If you don’t like it I can always make something else.”

“No no.” Eddie smiled at her. “It smells delicious, I’m sure it will be great. My mother just never let me try it and I guess, and as an adult the opportunity never popped up.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s really fine, it looks-”

“I’m sorry about your mother Eddie.” She clarified, laying down the giant spoon and turning down the heat on the stove. He paused mid-chop, setting the knife down gently. “I know things have been difficult for you, but I still am sorry for your loss. I’m sorry we weren’t there for you.”

He sighed, nodding his head. “Thank you.” He licked his dry lips, feeling her eyes still watching him carefully. He needed a moment to gather his thoughts before he started shouting about how she shouldn’t be sorry about anything, and once again she waited patiently until he was ready. “Is it bad that when she passed it was like a weight off of my shoulders? It’s terrible to say, I know that, but finally, it felt like I could breathe.” She didn’t say anything just yet, waiting till he got everything out. He chopped the celery stalks quickly, dumping them into the pot and shoving the knife into the sink. “I moved her with me to New York after I graduated, and I just sort of forgot all about Maine. Believe me, I wish I never fell out of touch with you guys, especially Richie.”

“That was our fault just as much as yours.” She smiled, a twinge of sadness behind her eyes.

“Yeah but… I completely forgot who I was. Did Richie tell you I was married? How I pretty much married a replica of my mother? I finally got rid of my mother yet I managed to get sucked back into the same manipulative relationship. You and Went were the most stable figures in my life… and  _ I’m _ sorry.” He huffed out. “You should never feel sorry, you guys always made me feel welcome, even when I felt like I didn’t have a mother who loved me.”

Maggie was quiet as she started to stir again, not wanting the chowder to get chunky. “Well you do now.” Her voice was hushed, and Eddie barely heard it over the simmer of the stovetop. He tilted his head at her, confused. “You have one now.” She said a little louder. “A mom that loves you. No matter what, you hear me? I don’t care what you’ve done, if you’ve made mistakes.” Eddie opened and shut his mouth, feeling his chest tighten. “I’ve always loved you like a son Eddie, so did Wentworth. I wish I told you that sooner, I’m so sorry you felt that way. You’re not terrible, you weren’t then and you aren’t now. You’re a good person.”

“I loved you too.” He said quickly. “I-I still do. I always appreciated you all. And Richie-” His voice wavered slightly so he cleared his throat before continuing. “-Richie too. You guys raised him so… I’ve  _ never _ felt so understood and so loved.” His voice cracked again and he hissed at himself.  _ “Shit- _ I love your son Maggie. So much, I’d do anything for him-”

He stopped talking when his words were muffled by her shoulder, pressed up against his face as she gripped him tightly, her own face burying into his neck. She shook lightly and let out a little squeak, so he squeezed her tighter. “I’m so lucky to have you both.” She sniffled. “He tells me about how happy he is to have you back, and it just comforts me knowing that he has you by his side. I know you’ll both always look out for each other.”

“Woah, what’s going on in here?” Richie asked as he walked back into the kitchen, hardly disguising the concern and confusion in his voice.

“Just reminding Eddie that he’s family.” Maggie giggled, pulling away from him.

“And telling her that I love your dumb ass.” Eddie scoffed, blinking away any tears.

“Is it safe to come in?” Went called from the other room, slowly turning the corner of the kitchen to peak in. He smiled softly at his wife, circling his arms around her to ease her emotions.

“I still want grandchildren.” She stammered, pointing at her son. “Don’t think that being gay saves you from me nagging about it.”

“Yeah Rich, this isn’t fair. Eddie already knows all of your embarrassing childhood stories.”

“Alright, both of you relax.” Richie squinted at them, pulling Eddie into him so he could hide in his shirt, ignoring how Eddie retched at the smell of smoke. “Look, you’re embarrassing him.”

“Tell me what else family is good for, son.”

“I heard family is great for setting up for dinner.” Maggie winked, patting his chest lightly. “Chop chop boys, before dinner gets cold."

Turns out, Eddie  _ really _ likes clam chowder. So much that he didn’t even complain when Richie tried to spoon-feed him some of his, and so much that he went back for seconds even though he felt full. And he  _ still _ had a slice of pie after, which was to die for, just as good as he remembered. Thankfully, Maggie promised to send him home with both recipes so he could make them whenever they wanted. “Play something Richie.” She told her son as she sat next to Went on the couch, a glass of wine in her hand and scotch in his.

“It’s been a while.” Richie cracked his fingers, moving the arm that was casually slung around Eddie’s shoulders so he could stand up and make his way over to the piano. “Can’t believe you kept this, I loved it when you played this thing.” He strummed his long fingers over a few of the keys, grinning at the notes ringing into the air. “I’ve always wanted one of my own.”

“Give us a show!” Went clapped, encouraging him.

“Okay okay.” He laughed, sitting down onto the small bench. “Remember, I’m a comedian and not fucking Beethoven…” He rested his hands on the keys, trying to remember a song to play, hoping that his muscle memory would aid him. When he started playing, Eddie didn’t recognize the melody but as soon as he started  _ singing _ he couldn’t help but smile.

_ “Why do birds suddenly appear, _

_ Every time you are near? _

_ Just like me, they long to be, _

_ Close to you.” _

He turned his head slightly to wink at Eddie, his fingers moving quickly across the keys. Eddie sipped his wine, rolling his eyes at him over the glass. 

_ “Why do stars fall down from the sky, _

_ Every time you walk by? _

_ Just like me, they long to be, _

_ Close to you!” _

“You should play more often.” Eddie told him once they got upstairs to the guest room. “I didn’t know you could play.”

“My mom taught me a few songs when we were in high school, I just didn’t tell you because I thought it was lame.”

“How is it lame?”

“It’s not, but I thought it was.” Richie unpacked his suitcase and moved the clothes over to the tall dresser. “Sixteen year old Richie thought it was going to be a huge turnoff.”

“I think it’s charming.” Eddie smirked, unbuttoning his shirt as he watched Richie pace back and forth around the room putting everything away. “Are you nervous about tomorrow?”

“Sort of.” He admitted, undoing his jeans and stepping out of them. “I haven’t seen a lot of my family in a while. Are you?”

Eddie shrugged with a small shake of his head. “I don’t think so. I think I was worried about your parents more for some reason. It was stupid.”

“Even I could’ve told you that babe.”

“Fuck you.” He spat with no bite. “Get over here Risky Business.”

Richie looked down at himself, laughing at how silly he looked without any pants, just in socks, boxers, and his button down. Even in the dimly lit room, only illuminated by the small lamp next to the bed, he could see how he’d fit right into Risky Business. He crawled across the bed up to his boy, planting a gentle peck on his lips. “Are you saying I’m just as hot as Tom Cruise?”

“No.” Eddie snorted, gripping the collar of his shirt to pull him back in. “You’re way hotter.”

They stayed like that for a while, Richie nestled comfortably between his legs, kissing slowly and tenderly. It took a long time after for things to escalate, Eddie running his hands further over him and Richie nipping lightly at his jaw, rutting up against his thighs. “Richie.” He gasped lightly, feeling the waistband of his boxers scrape harshly on his thighs. He felt him smile on his neck, and he did it again. “I thought you said no sex in your parent's house.”

“This isn’t sex.” He said innocently, pulling back with an evil little smirk. 

“So you’re just gonna get us both worked up for nothing?”

“You know I would. But you get loud…”

“YOU get loud too!”

Richie gripped the back of his neck and tugged him in for a deep kiss to shut him up, humming into his soft lips. He’d never get tired of how soft and plump they were, somehow always tasting so sweet. “If you want to have sex in my parent's house, just ask.”

“I’m not asking you for shit. You’d never let me live it down.”

“Fine, I’ll ask.” Richie laughed lowly. “You want to fool around?”

“You’ve asked me to have sex in much more enticing ways.” Eddie rolled his eyes, brushing some of the wild curls away from his large forehead before giving in. “Fine.” 

“But you have to promise to be quiet.” He peppered kisses down the side of his face. “I’ll keep quiet too.” He shrugged the shirt off of his shoulders, helping Eddie wiggle out of his pants and boxers. 

“Richie, look at me.” Eddie held his face close to his, noses touching briefly. “Do NOT cum in me. I’m not going to mission impossible towards the bathroom afterward.”

“Is that another Tom Cruise reference? Is there something you want to tell me?” Richie snickered when he was flicked on the forehead. “Okay, okay I get it.”

“I’m turning off this light.” Eddie reached for the lamp beside him, stopping at the expression on Richie’s face. “Your parents can see that the light is still on, and I’m not giving them any incentive to interrupt.”

“They won’t. But fine.” He threw his own boxers to the floor, kicking off his socks as he retrieved the small bottle of lube from his suitcase. “How am I supposed to see what I’m doing?”

“Figure it out.” Eddie glared at him before the room went dark, surrounding both of them in silence and shadow. Richie found his way back to the bed in between Eddie’s legs again and carefully leaned in, finally finding his face. They slotted their lips together again, quiet and slow. When they pulled away his glasses were taken off immediately. “You don’t need these.”

He didn’t argue, just licking over his lips and leaning back in, cautiously so that they didn’t bump heads. Finally, things continued to pick up, and soon Richie was slipping his tongue into Eddie’s mouth, trying to keep his small noises of pleasure to a low volume. It was easier said than done, they both encouraged each other to be loud in bed, so this was a change of pace. The last thing he wanted was his parents teasing them about it.

He quickly shook the thoughts of his parents out of his head so that he could enjoy the moment, slowly trailing his hand down to grip Eddie’s shaft, sending a shock through him. “Sh.” He reminded him, muffling his small sighs with his mouth as he moved his hand slowly, getting him even more worked up. By the time Richie had two fingers in him, Eddie was quietly begging for more, whispering so lowly in his ear that there were a few times Richie wasn’t sure if he’d actually said anything. 

Regardless of if it was his imagination or not, Richie slipped in a third finger, making Eddie’s back bow off of the bed. “Rich.” He whispered quietly. “Let’s go already, get in me.”

Richie didn’t dare deny him. He pulled out quickly and lathered himself up so that he was nice and slick before lining himself up. “I’m so fucking glad you’re here.” He grunted lowly as he slowly entered him, pulling a wheeze from him. “You’ve always been a part of the family.”

“Stop.” Eddie whimpered, shaking his head when his body stopped moving. “No, not your dick dipshit. I meant your mouth. You’re going to make me emotional.”

Richie chuckled softly in his ear, pushing in the rest of the way until their hips were flush together. “It’s true though. We all love you.” He pulled out an inch or two before thrusting back in, shivering at the hushed little noises coming from underneath him. “I love you, so so much Eds. I always want to have you with me, with my family. I’ve dreamt about this for so long.”

Eddie pulled him down further, now crushed under his weight, chest to chest. He could still breathe, and having Richie curled around every inch of him felt safe, like home. He nuzzled into his neck when he started a slow pace, containing any noises that threatened to escape. Richie did the same, forehead resting on his shoulder, resting cheek to cheek as their bodies slid together.

His thrusts were shallow and slow, not at all like any other time they’d been intimate. This wasn’t about getting off, it was enough to just be together, connected and close. Eddie thought back to what he’d said, how he was always part of the family. He tried to swallow the lump in his throat, but failed, ultimately letting a few happy tears escape down his cheeks.

He realized he wasn’t alone though, his cheek also stained with the tears leaking out of Richie’s eyes. He thought about what his dad said, about marriage. And fuck, Richie  _ really _ wanted to marry Eddie, more than anything in the world. He’d always known that, but it was confirmed that day, one hundred percent.

“Richie.” Eddie hissed quietly into his ear, hands gripping onto his back, both of them pressed impossibly close together. “I love you too.”

Richie shivered against him, squeezing around him tightly like he’d fall apart if he let him go. After a few more sharp thrusts, he pulled out and emptied all over Eddie’s chest, trying his best not to make any noise. “Fuck, sorry.” He heaved, grateful for Eddie’s hands combing through his sweaty hair soothingly.

“It’s okay.” He assured him, tilting his chin up to kiss along his throat. They’d agreed on leaving no marks, but the thought of Eddie marking him up made him growl low in his throat. He attached his hand back to Eddie’s aching cock, kissing him hard to keep him quiet as he jerked him fast and tight. He circled his thumb around the swollen head just like he knew always drove him crazy, and it didn’t take a lot for him to feel Eddie tense up and the warmth of his release leak over his hand. They both laid still, surrounded by the darkness, the only noise was their hushed breaths and labored panting. “In my bag.” Eddie mumbled tiredly. “There’s wet wipes.”

Richie nodded, forgetting Eddie couldn’t see him, and he carefully untangled their bodies so that he didn’t make a mess. He used his phone as a flashlight to retrieve the package of wipes, cleaning off his hand first before pulling another couple of wipes to clean off himself and Eddie’s chest. “I can’t believe we just had sex in my parent's house. That’s kind of gross.”

“Technically you asked for it, remember?” Eddie huffed out an exhausted laugh. 

“Whatever man.” It was already late, and they had a long day of cooking ahead of them, so they collapsed back into bed, easily drifting off into sleep. But not before Eddie got the last word and made sure to tell Richie to get rid of the wipes without leaving any evidence.

It didn’t really matter since Eddie woke up long before him to shower, so he made sure to dispose of the gross wipes. Thankfully, he didn’t run into Maggie or Wentworth on his way to the shower, and he wasn’t interrupted at all during it either. He made his way to the back porch, leaning against the banister and letting the chilled air hit his face. The cold was something that didn’t normally bother him, and luckily there was no snow yet to obstruct the view of the mountains and the semi frozen waters. The sunrise in Maine was just as beautiful as he remembered, the way it reflected off of the water in the distance. Derry was never this pretty. Despite the calming landscape, it always felt sinister, and Eddie shivered just thinking about it.

“Still an early bird?” His heart skipped a beat until he realized it was just Wentworth behind him, sliding the porch door open and shutting it quietly. “Me too.”

“I usually wake up for a run, but I think I’ll give myself a little break.”

Went snorted, placing his cup of what looked like coffee onto the banister. “Good for you. I can’t remember the last time I’ve been for a run. This place has mellowed us down, very lazy. Hiking is a good substitute though.”

“So I’ve heard. We’ll have to check it out sometime.”

“If you get my son to even step foot on a hiking trail, I’ll pay you.”

“You’re on.” Eddie smirked.

“Mm. I’ll hold you to it.” He followed Eddie’s gaze out to the distance. “If you don’t want to talk about it anymore, I’ll drop it. But was it okay for me to give you that gift?”

Eddie licked over his dry lips. “Yeah, it was very nice. I’m sorry if it seemed like I wasn’t happy about it. It’s just… I feel like I never even thought about my dad and all of a sudden these past few weeks have brought a lot of memories. A lot of guilt too, I shouldn’t have ever stopped thinking about him.”

“You’ve been through a lot, kid.” Went sipped from his mug, swallowing thickly before placing his other hand on Eddie’s shoulder. “I knew your father better than anyone, even your mother. I know he’d be so proud of you.”

Eddie smiled warmly at him, nodding his head. “Thank you.”

“If you ever need anything, even if it’s just to talk man to man, I’d be more than happy to help.” He knew he meant it, and Eddie couldn’t help but reach out for him. As far back as he could remember, Went was never a hugger. But regardless, he didn’t hesitate to accept the embrace and give him a comforting pat on the back before pulling away. “Maggie and I were worried when he stopped visiting, when he started losing his grip on himself. My son is smart, sometimes too smart for his own good. And he loves hard, but I know sometimes he’s hard to handle and he does dumb things. But with you I don’t think we have to worry about him anymore. We know he’s safe with you, and I need to thank you for that.”

“It’s a full time job, but it’s worth it. Being with your son.”

“Should we be paying you to babysit?” Went chuckled. Both men glanced back towards the house when more lights turned on. “Ah, Maggie set her alarm pretty early to get started on the cooking for tonight. It’ll be all hands on deck today.”

“Should I wake Richie?”

“After we prep.” He sighed. “Best to let him sleep, I don’t want him in a fussy mood while we cook. How about we just set up for now? Maggie is all about her prep.” He slid open the door and stepped inside, closing it behind Eddie before greeting his wife.

“Morning boys.” She beamed at both of them, clearly excited. Eddie remembered Thanksgiving at the Tozier’s house when he was a kid. They never really had too many people over, and Eddie could never stay for the actual dinner but there were days where he’d stuck around past his mother’s wishes and helped her out with setting the table. For once it was enough to help prep for dinner without getting lectured by Sonia. “Coffee Eddie?” She offered, placing her own mug down onto the counter. 

He accepted, thinking back to all of the times she’d offered but he’d said no because  _ “my mom said it would stunt my growth”. _ She put the pot to heat and made her way to the fridge to start pulling out ingredients and the gigantic turkey. “Went honey, can you set the oven please?”

He did as he was told before helping her take out the rest of the various ingredients. “We’ve already got the soup, cranberry sauce, and lasagna done. What’s for today’s agenda?” As soon as the words left his mouth, Richie zombied into the kitchen, hair still damp from his apparent shower. “Perfect timing.”

“Mm.” He grunted, rolling his eyes at his father as he wrapped his arm around Eddie and planted a kiss on the top of his head. “Morning Eds. Morning dear parents.”

“Awe how sweet.” Maggie cooed, walking towards her son and pinching his cheeks.  _ Hard, _ making him hiss and pull away from her, now totally awake. “Now wake up and get ready to help us!” She clapped her hands together, winking at Eddie before returning to her spot near the stove. “Okay gang, it’s bright and early, and we’re gonna need a lot of time to get everything done, so I need everyone doing their part.  _ Richard.” _

“What?!”

“Listen up! You are going to prep the potatoes. Peel them and put them in the pot to cover until they’re nice and soft, and they can wait in there until we are ready to use them. Honey, you’re on bread and vegetable duty. When you’re both done I want you preparing the casseroles.” Then she pointed at Eddie brightly. “You’ll be with me. I’ll be keeping a close eye on the turkey and blanch the vegetables. If you could start on the stuffing and gravy that would be fantastic, I’ll walk you through everything. We have people bringing in some other dishes and appetizers so we have less to do this year, you boys are lucky!”

“Aye aye Captain Mags.” Richie saluted her, pulling a small laugh from her.

“Alright teams, three-two-one go!” And her words were orders. Everyone got into position and started manning their stations. Like Maggie promised, she guided Eddie through the recipe for the gravy pretty easily, and he was fairly good at preparing the stuffing on his own. While she kept an eye on the turkey, she flew through the vegetables and started on a few pies, humming as she folded the dough and layered the filling. 

Richie and Wentworth were having a tougher time than them, occasionally bickering back and forth as Richie started to mash the potatoes and help his father with the casseroles. When that was said and done they moved on to heating the lasagna and soups, setting everything onto the table. Despite having to work for hours, time felt as if it was going by faster by the minute and it was thrilling. A race against the clock.

“People should be arriving any minute now.” Maggie alerted, checking on the turkey once more before hurrying the boys to set the table. According to Went, there would be about twenty people eating, including them. That meant that a lot of silverware needed to be set out, and Richie was not helping by whistling at Eddie every time he bent over the table.

“Can you stop!” He scolded, flipping him off when Wentworth wasn’t looking.

Richie held his hands up in defense and nodded, an evil smirk on his face. It was clear that his father had caught on, and he just chuckled and decided it was best to leave the room entirely. He knew his son had tricks up his sleeve. Eddie found that out when he reached over the table to set down the last set of utensils and received a swift smack on his ass.

_ “Richie!” _ He gritted his teeth, rubbing the stinging area. “You’re a fucking asshole. I’m gonna kill you-” He stopped at the ringing of the doorbell, completely forgetting that he was mad at Richie and moved to hide behind him.

Wentworth dashed through the dining room towards the front door, and Richie and Eddie could hear that multiple people had arrived. “Hey.” Richie rubbed his back. “It’s okay.”

“I know.” Eddie breathed through his nerves, putting on a smile to try and mask them. A woman around his age sauntered into the kitchen, carrying a small boy in one arm and a tray of food in the other. Maggie took it from her, setting it near the table and immediately dragging her into a hug. 

“Sweetie, so good to see you! Hey you!” She cooed at the young boy, taking him into her arms. “You didn’t forget about me did you? You remember Mrs. Maggie right?” The little boy giggled as she swung him around, nodding cutely. 

“Well if it isn't it Mr. Famous.” The young woman approached them, hands on her hips. “Surprised to see you here. It’s been a minute since you ghosted us you asshole.”

“Hey now.” Richie scowled. “You talk with that mouth in front of your son?” She nudged his shoulder before wrapping her arms around his torso, squeezing him tightly. “This is Eddie Kaspbrak, from Derry, remember?” He turned his shoulder to gesture towards him. “Eddie, Gemma.”

_ Gemma. _ Memories flashed in front of him of when Richie’s cousins would visit back in Derry. He and Gemma always got along, usually teaming up against Richie. She was just as feisty, and both Eddie and Richie knew not to let her little pigtails deceive them. She didn’t look too different, her long dark hair tied neatly in a single braid and a few freckles peppering her face. “Wow, Eddie Kaspbrak.” She smiled at him. “Haven’t heard that name in a while.”

She examined him for another minute before opening her arms. “I can’t believe it’s really you!”

“It’s me!” He chuckled quietly, accepting her hug. He had a feeling that he’d be receiving a lot of them: the Tozier family was always extremely loving and touchy. “Last time I saw you I think you still had those rainbow braces.”

“Jeez, don’t remind me.” She groaned, pulling away to look between the both of them. “Look at you two, together again. You both dating yet?”

“Gemma, for fuck's sake!”

“Hey, you talk with that mouth in front of my son!?” She mocked him before shaking her head at Eddie. “This guy used to always talk about you. He had such a huge crush.”

“So did you.” Richie challenged her, folding his arms.

“Yeah, a schoolgirl crush.” She laughed. “You were practically planning your wedding.” She smirked in victory when Richie burned red and didn’t reply. “Don’t worry Eddie, I’m happily married now so Richie can calm his pants. Daniel come in here! That’s my husband Daniel, and Maggie has my son Ryan.”

A man, presumably Daniel, sauntered into the kitchen and over to his wife with a small girl in his arms. “Rich.” He greeted with a smile and a half hug. “Nice to see you again-”

“RICHIE!” The small girl chirped, nearly leaping from her father’s arms and into Richie’s. “Richie, mommy showed me your show when you dressed up like Mrs. Maggie, it was so funny!”

“What!?” He asked incredulously. “She let you watch me on tv? How old are you?”

“Six!” She giggled, his long fingers moving to tickle her sides a bit.

“Oh my goodness, you’re so old! When did you get so big!?”

Eddie couldn’t help smiling at the two of them, Richie once again showing off how good of a father he would be. “Dan, this is Eddie. He and Richie grew up together, remember I told you about Derry?”

“Oh yeah!” He nodded, holding a hand out to Eddie. “It’s nice to meet you man.”

“Likewise.” He beamed. “Very cute.” He nodded towards Richie and the little girl, dancing around the kitchen to go bother Maggie. 

“That’s Sarah.” Gemma sighed. “Pain in the ass, just like Richie. Ryan’s much quieter, he’s only four though so I guess we’ll see.”

“Babe, I’m gonna go with Went to pick up Wendy, are you going to be okay with the kids?”

“Go ahead.” She nodded, and Daniel patted Eddie’s shoulder one more time before hurriedly leaving the kitchen. “Wendy’s our grandmother, Went’s mom. You remember her right?”

“Vaguely.”

“So… are you and Richie dating?”

Eddie snorted, folding his arms as he continued to watch Richie dash between the rooms as he chased after the kids. “You haven’t changed at all.” 

“Hey, if you are at least I can let people know so that they don’t keep coming up to you guys to ask. They’ll be asking me first, Richie’s pretty much my annoying brother.”

“Whatever you have to tell yourself.” He rolled his eyes playfully. “Yeah though. We’re dating.” He said calmly, actually not bothered at all by having to admit it out loud.  _ I’m with a guy, so what? _

“You haven’t changed either.” She huffed. “You’re still a little shit.” They both stood there in the room, watching Richie run between the dining room and the kitchen, occasionally getting scolded by Maggie. “You know I wasn’t joking. Richie has been planning to marry you since we were kids.”

“I’m aware.” He smirked, ignoring the way his stomach flipped at the thought of marriage.

“Are you really prepared to marry  _ that?” _ She shook her head. “He’s clearly lost his mind.”

“I’ll take my chances.”

She looked at him like he had ten heads before cracking up. “You’re a good guy Eddie. I’m glad Richie has you. Even though you’re way out of his league.”

“Yeah right. He’s fucking famous.”

Gemma opened her mouth, probably to argue but another woman came bounding towards the kitchen. “Maggie, salad and empanadas are here! Where do you want them?”

“In here!” Maggie called from the kitchen, starting to get all of the food set up onto the smaller table in there.

“Here, I’ve got it mom.” Gemma offered, taking the trays from her mother. “Oh mom, do you remember Eddie Kaspbrak, from Derry?”

“The one with the fanny pack and inhaler?” She panted, clearly exhausted from holding the heavy trays. “With the overbearing-”

“Yep, he’s standing right there.” She nodded towards him, winking before bringing the food to the table. 

“No!” The woman, who looked a lot like Maggie, gasped and cupped his face. “Is it really you?”

“Woah woah, Aunt Deb!” Richie was behind him instantly, like a knight in shining armor, gripping his shoulders to slide past him. “I know he’s handsome but hands off the merchandise!” 

“This is Eddie?” She pointed at him, looking at Richie like she couldn’t believe it. She gasped again at both of them nodding. “Oh my- are you two…”

“Leave them alone Deb.” Maggie butted in, wrapping an arm around both boys. “Eddie is joining us for Thanksgiving this year, and hopefully more to come.”

“If your son sticks around.” She squinted, poking Richie in the ribs teasingly. “Eddie, you look amazing. How’s mom?”

Richie and Maggie both palmed their faces, and Eddie couldn’t help but laugh in response. “Well she’s no longer with us, so… not well I don’t think.”

Aunt Deb’s face cracked into a smile before becoming serious. “I’m very sorry-”

“You don’t have to pretend, it’s okay.”

“Thank goodness.” She huffed out, reverting back to her wide grin. “Well I know I speak for my family when I say that we are very happy to have you here with us. Keep this one in line.” She rustled her hand through Richie’s hair before following Maggie back into the kitchen.

“Christ, I’m sorry Eds.”

“Why?”

“We’re all crazy.” He snickered like it was obvious. “Aye! Uncle Craig!” He broke away from him to greet the new man who walked into the dining room. 

The man squinted at him. “Well I hope my eyes do not deceive me. Richard? THE Richard Tozier.” He chuckled at Richie’s frown, pulling him in for a bone crushing hug. “Thought you got tired of your ole folks.”

“Of you, never. But your wife and daughter are just as annoying as ever.”

“Debs, sure. But don’t let Gemma fool you, she’s been talking about how excited she was to see you again for the entire car ride. And don’t even get me started on Sarah.” He also ruffled Richie’s hair.

“Oh, this is my boyfriend Eddie.” He motioned to Eddie, who waved shyly, heart thumping at the title of  _ boyfriend. _

“Bless your patience.” Uncle Craig laughed, unphased by the news, shaking Eddie’s hand warmly. “Very nice to meet you. Alrighty, I’m going to suck it up and help the ladies. Let’s chat after everything’s ready.”

“Will do.” Richie saluted, wrapping his arm around Eddie to drag him a little closer to him. “I think my cousin Robert is coming with his family and then maybe a neighbor or two and then I swear, you don’t have to talk to new people ever again.”

“Stop it.” Eddie smiled, leaning into him. “This is actually nice. Why did you stop coming?”

Richie tensed next to him for a moment before rubbing a big hand up and down his arm. “I started surrounding myself with the wrong people, missed one Thanksgiving and pretty much stopped showing up after that. It was shitty, and I know they aren’t really mad but they should be. I was an ass.”

“You still are.” Eddie sighed, looking around briefly before reaching on his tippy toes to press a firm kiss to his lips. “There were nights where I flushed Myra’s Thanksgiving food down the toilet. I was an ass too. We were just not in good places but now-”

As he was speaking, Ryan dashed between them, almost taking out his knees and Sarah followed close behind as she yelled at him. Both men stared at each other before doubling over in a fit of laughter. Richie wrapped his arms around him, squeezing him tightly and planting a kiss to the side of his temple. 

“I was going to say now we are in a great place, but I think he pulled something in my leg.”

“Want me to carry you to safety my sweet prince?”

“Not a chance.”

“Richie! Eddie!” Maggie called from the kitchen. “All hands on deck again until Went gets back!” Both of them followed the commander's orders and helped bring more food in from outside. Richie’s cousin Robert seemed to bring even more food, and what looked like gallons of eggnog. He and his wife, Marie, were very happy to see Richie again just like everyone else. And also just like everyone else, they were extremely warm and welcoming to Eddie. 

Robert’s mom (Richie’s Aunt Kristine) was holding Carla, Robert’s baby girl. Almost like he had a superpower with kids, she immediately made grabby hands at Richie, babbling at him happily. He obliged, picking her up and bouncing her gently, grinning brightly when she squeaked out a few laughs. 

“That’s not fair.” Uncle Doug, Maggie’s brother and Richie’s Uncle, clicked his tongue. “She doesn’t even smile at her own grandpa like that. She’s never even met you Rich!”

“It’s literally my job to make people laugh and smile.” Richie smirked, placing a kiss on top of Carla’s small head. “Call it a gift.”

“You’re not that funny.” Eddie interjected, even though they both knew well that he didn’t really think that. “She’s laughing at you because your face is stupid.”

“You’re dating this face.” Richie shot back, catching him off guard.

“I don’t know how you do it kid.” Doug huffed, also completely unphased by them dating. “But it’s great to have you here. Joanna, see if Maggie and Deb need help will you?”

Joanna, Robert’s teenage daughter rolled her eyes. “But Grandpa! Gemma and Craig are in there too, I don’t want it to get too crowded.”

“She can help us when my dad gets back.” Richie offered, which seemed to please Doug enough to drop it. “You owe me Jo.” He rustled her hair, making her swat at his arm. 

“Thanks Rich… I guess you’re still cool.”

Wentworth didn’t have any siblings, so the majority of the guests were from Maggie’s side of the family. Sadly though, her parents had passed away years ago. But that didn’t stop everyone from anticipating Went’s mother, Wendy, the most. She was the type of woman who treated everyone like her grandchild, and Eddie was included in that when he’d met her a few times when she’d visit Derry. 

Eddie always found it extra amusing when she came over because she  _ HATED _ Derry. She always talked about how the town was no good for Richie, and how Went and Maggie should consider moving somewhere much nicer in Maine. Ultimately, they did, and Eddie could attest already that Bar Harbor made Derry look like a pile of hot garbage. Part of him agreed that Derry was not great for Richie, and he probably would’ve been better off moving, but another part of him knew that he wouldn’t have survived till the end of high school without him around.

By the time dinner started, a few more guests had shown up, some neighbors from Bar Harbor. They were both lovely old couples that fit in perfectly, getting along great with everyone in the family. Brad and Nancy had also grown up in Maine and moved to Bar Harbor later in life, enjoying the distance from extended family. John and Alan, two  _ gay _ men, had moved to Maine in 2012 from New Orleans to get married, and they fell in love with Bar Harbor after visiting from Bangor.

They didn’t know why, but Richie and Eddie were both comforted by the fact that there was another gay couple at dinner, even though not a single person in Richie’s family cared that he was gay. Or that he was with Eddie. In fact, they toasted to Eddie at the start of dinner, thanking him for joining them for Thanksgiving. And Richie being Richie, couldn’t help but smile smugly at how red he turned, like a cute little tomato. 

“Thank you.” A warm voice spooked Eddie when he went into the kitchen for another plate for him and Richie. “I’ve never seen my grandson so happy. So thank you.” Wendy tossed some more pasta onto her plate along with a big chunk of turkey, which Maggie had cooked perfectly.

“People keep thanking me, and telling me that they are happy Richie has me. But I’m the lucky one.” He smiled at her. “Well, you’re lucky to have him as a grandson too I guess.”

“I really am.” She agreed, mirroring his smile. “I’m also lucky to have you back in the family.”

Eddie felt himself get bashful at that. “Do you want any help with that?” He pointed to the tall drink in her hand that seemed to be struggling in her grip, trying to change the subject.

“Thank you dear.” She nodded, handing it over so that he could walk it back to the table along with her. People started to get full quickly, occasionally roaming back into the kitchen to pick at whatever was leftover while the others gathered into the living room to watch people take turns at playing the piano. Gemma and Robert were just as good as Richie, so it was definitely in the blood. Daniel and Uncle Craig tried their best, and regardless of how terrible they were, it was a fun time. 

Sarah was currently singing along with her mother to Twinkle Twinkle Little Star when Richie leaned over to whisper in Eddie’s ear. “Eggnog, who thought that one up? ‘I wanna get a little drunk, but I also want some pancakes.’ What an idea, huh?” Despite him whispering, the comment caught the attention of Wendy and Kristine, pulling laughs out of both of them.

And look, Richie loved to make people laugh. It was literally his job, his passion.

But nothing compared to making Eddie laugh. The way he huffs out a barely audible laugh as he tries to hide his amusement, or the way his nose scrunches up when he teasingly scolds  _ “Richie!”: _ now that was something Richie loved. 

Eddie went to refill his glass with eggnog, running into Joanna in the kitchen. “Please tell me that’s the virgin eggnog you’re drinking?”

“What are you a narc?” She snorted, sipping from her cup loudly to make a point. “Yes, it’s virgin. I’m only sixteen, I’m not stupid enough to start drinking.”

“Well good.” Eddie watched her with an eyebrow raised as she kept staring at him.

“Are you really dating Richie?” She asked as he filled his glass, almost like it was unbelievable.

“Yep.” Eddie smirked. “And before I get a lecture from a sixteen year old, I’ve known Richie for longer than you’ve been alive. So I think I know what I’ve signed myself up for.”

“You’re just as crazy as him, I can tell.” She bit her lip, trying to hide a smile.

“Oh I’m way crazier.” He assured her, stepping back into the living room to see Carla back in Richie’s lap.

“She’s like, addicted to him.” Joanna scoffed. “She likes him more than me already.”

“I’m sure that’s not true.” He said absentmindedly, lost in watching Richie make the baby laugh, cooing at her and giving her small little kisses from time to time. “She’s cute though.”

“She’s okay I guess.” It was meant to be sassy, maybe even bitter, but Eddie didn’t miss the softness and admiration in her voice. Joanna was the spitting image of Gemma, even though she was Rob and Marie’s daughter. She acted like a pain in the ass, a punk, but Eddie could tell that she had a big soft heart like the rest of the Tozier family.

“Hi Carla.” He waved gently as he sat back down next to Richie. “Having fun?” She immediately smiled up at him, making his heart swell.

“She has a crush on you.” Richie said, still in his baby-talk voice, tickling her a bit.

“She’s a baby Richie, don’t make it weird.”

“Not Carla, you dingus.” Richie shook his head, dropping the voice. “Joanna.”

Before Eddie could question or protest, Wendy and Kristine were nodding along in agreement. “I know my granddaughter better than anyone. She totally has a small crush on you sweetheart.” Kristine laughed, taking a gulp of her drink.

“I- well… Maybe-”

“No need to be embarrassed hun, she’s a teenage girl, they have a new crush every three seconds.” Wendy assured him. Thankfully Carla saved him from having to continue the conversation when she wandered onto his lap. “My goodness, would you look at that. Maybe she does also have a crush on you.”

“Stop it, you're embarrassing him.” Richie glared at his grandmother. “Only I’m allowed to do that.” As he said it, Sarah and Ryan flew up to him, almost like they were waiting for him to get rid of Carla. 

“Richie, Richie!” She chirped. “Can we please play hide and seek?”

“No!” Ryan cried out, already looking quite upset that his sister got to pick the game. “Tag, Richie. Tag please!”

“Woah woah, hold your horses kiddos.” He held up his hands, smiling down at both of them. “We can play both, I promise. No crying okay?”

“Tag first!” Ryan clapped, whining when Sarah shoved his hands lightly, stopping his celebration. “No! Hide and seek first Richie!” She pleaded.

“Okay okay, everyone relax. Sar, we are gonna play tag first because it’s fast okay? Hold on, let me finish. And because you’re such a good big sister right?”

He could practically see the gears turning in her head. “Okay.” She agreed. “But you’re it!”

“Fine.” Richie sighed. “No driveway okay, that’s dangerous, got it? I’ll give you guys thirty seconds to run before I come chase you. Jo! Come play with us!” He called out to her, saving her once again from her family, this time from singing along with her mom. All three of them ran and Richie slumped back onto the couch. “My body is going to regret this.”

“Look at you Richard!” Wendy said, almost astonished. “You’re very good with kids!”

“Ever thought of having your own?” Kristine asked giddily. 

Richie’s eyes flicked up to Eddie’s and back to his aunt’s. “Yeah, I’ve thought about it.” And before he could elaborate or before they could coax more information, he screamed “THIRTY!” and begrudgingly flung himself off of the couch to begin his chase. Carla’s wide eyes watched him dash out of the room, giggling and clapping her hands before turning her attention back to Eddie. He thought it was the start of him having to entertain her now, but she quietly snuggled in his arms and just watched him calmly until she fell asleep. 

He cradled her for a little while longer, torn between handing her off or continuing to rock her gently. It felt weird… but not in a bad way. Weird in a way that had him questioning what Richie meant about having thought about having his kids. If he was serious. He would ask later, but he eventually decided to hand her back to Marie so she could be put in a more quiet area for her nap. He couldn't help but feel a little sad as she was taken from his arms though.

Eddie politely declined to play the piano or sing, but he answered every single question that people had for him.  _ What do you do? How did you and Richie meet again? When did you two start dating? How do you handle him all the time? Is it weird being with a celebrity? How do you like your first Tozier Thanksgiving? _

And to be honest, he was having the time of his life. The house was constantly filled with laughter and music, and he was almost angry that he’d missed out on so many great holidays. Especially since Went and Maggie had offered him to stay plenty of times, but he was always too afraid to say yes. And they didn’t think it was their place to persuade him to not have Thanksgiving with his own mother. 

He walked into the kitchen to find Richie peeking underneath the table cloth, and he leaned against the doorway with his arms folded to watch him. “Whatcha doin Rich?” He asked, amusement apparent in his tone. 

Richie sighed, setting down the fabric and slowly standing up. “We moved to hide and seek. These little fuckers are so small, they could be anywhere. I thought this game would be easier on my body than tag, but I’m still an old man.”

“Whatever you say, grandpa.” Eddie chuckled, marching up to him. “Richie?”

“Yeah baby?”

“I don’t want to leave tomorrow.”

Richie just stared at him, tilting his head like a confused puppy. “Huh?”

“I want to stay longer. Here in Bar Harbor.” He said quietly. “I don’t want to get on our flight in the afternoon. Can we just… stay one more day or something?” The thought of having to quickly exchange gifts with Richie’s parents and immediately hop on a plane back to LA felt  _ wrong. _ He finally had a family to connect with, and he didn’t want to lose it. “Is that selfish of me to ask?”

“No.” Richie said hurriedly, grabbing his face. “Of course we can stay a little longer. But you know we can come visit whenever we want right?”

Eddie didn’t doubt it. He thought back to the millions of times Maggie and Wentworth had offered him to stay for dinner, to stay the night, to join them on family outings. Richie smiled down at him, petting over his hair gently. All he ever wanted was to make sure Eddie felt loved, and now he was asking to stay longer. _ In Maine. _

“Richie? Eddie?” Maggie was calling them again from the living room. “We’re going to sing our song before everyone starts leaving!”

“Oh no.” Richie laughed, palming his face.

“Your song?”

“Technically it’s not  _ our _ song… You’ll see.” He led Eddie back into the room, almost immediately getting hit in the face with hard plastic. “What the shit?”

“Sorry honey.” Maggie laughed, briefly rubbing his nose for him before standing on her tippy toes to hold the mistletoe a little higher over their heads. “But I’ve gotten every couple here besides you two! Pucker up boys!”

“This is so fucked up mom.” Richie grumbled. “I know that you’re gonna make me sing as punishment for not being here the last couple of holidays, but this is too far. You’re going to embarrass Eds-” He was quickly shut up by Eddie pulling him down by his collar for a deep kiss, smiling against his lips.

Richie’s family let out some hoots and hollers as Richie brought his hands to his face as they pulled apart, beaming at him. Maggie clapped beside them, a wide smile on her face as she pulled her son towards the piano. Went tapped on Eddie’s shoulder, resting his arm there and smiling at him as he handed him another glass of eggnog. “Enjoy the show, son.” Eddie felt warm inside, and he knew that it wasn’t because of the alcohol in his drink.

He finally had a family. A crazy, ridiculous family who welcomed him with open arms, no questions asked. Even if Gemma stuck her tongue out at him playfully from the couch. She wasn’t too happy anymore when she was selected to participate along with Richie and Robert. Maggie and Wendy were more than happy to volunteer themselves for the song, and Deb somehow got Doug to join in. 

A Tozier performance, they called it. A Tozier tradition that hadn’t been done since the last time Richie was there for the holidays. And it was absolutely necessary for their neighbors and Eddie to witness it. Even with the hesitance from some of the group, as soon as Maggie started to play the piano, everyone was in line and ready for their part. Deb and Gemma started first, only a hint of reluctance from the latter. 

_ “There's a sad sort of clanging from the clock in the hall _

_ And the bells in the steeple too _

_ And up in the nursery an absurd little bird _

_ Is popping out to say ‘cuckoo’” _

Instructed by Gemma, Sarah and Ryan mimicked their mother cutely  _ “Cuckoo, cuckoo!” _

Wendy, even in her old age nailed her notes and belted out her line with grace, the kids still mimicking her ‘cuckoos’. 

_ “Regretfully they tell us Cuckoo, cuckoo _

_ But firmly they compel us Cuckoo, cuckoo  _

_ To say goodbye.  _

_ Cuckoo! _

_ To you…” _

Eddie recognized the song from Sound of Music, he’d seen it plenty of times since it was always on at Richie’s house when they were kids. It was Maggie’s favorite move so naturally she trained her family on every song. He felt bad for their embarrassment, he did, but he couldn’t help but crack up at the exacerbated faces Richie was throwing at him as he was forced to single along. But to Richie, seeing Eddie laugh was worth the humiliation. Even though he knew no one was  _ really _ judging him, his family never did. He rolled his eyes quickly before breaking out into song along with the rest of them.  _ “So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night!” _

Robert shrugged, laughing slightly through his line.  _ “I hate to go and leave this pretty sight!” _

_ “So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, adieu.” _

Doug did a little bow, pulling a laugh from Maggie.  _ “Adieu, adieu, to yieu and yieu and yieu.” _

_ “So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, goodbye!” _

Pulling it together, Maggie gracefully sang out her line.  _ “I leave and heave a sigh and say goodbye. Goodbye!”  _

Richie, of course, put on a shrill voice for his solo.  _ “I'm glad to go, I cannot tell a lie. I flit, I float, I fleetly flee, I fly. The sun has gone to bed and so must I.” _

Now everyone in the room was singing, even the kids, and it was silly, but Eddie felt fuzzy chanting the words along with them.  _ “So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, goodbye!” _

_ “Goodbye!” _

It was difficult for both Richie and Eddie to say goodbye, in fact, they tried stalling in any way that they could. But it was getting later and later, and people started to trickle out. Brad, Nancy, John, and Alan were the first to leave after helping clean up any mess. Before they did, they promised to plan another get together with Went and Maggie for the next holiday. And not before John and Alan congratulated Richie and Eddie on their beautiful, gay, relationship.

Robert and his family were the next ones to leave. “Be good Rich.” Robert smiled, patting his back as they hugged tightly. 

“You too man.”

“Say goodbye to Eddie sweet girl.” Marie cooed, bouncing Carla up and down in front of them as she reached for Eddie again. “She loves you.”

“She’s a sweetheart.” He grinned, letting her grab his finger one last time before the girls walked out to their car. Robert hugged Eddie too, giving him a similar goodbye as he did to Richie before grabbing several tins of leftovers and following his wife outside.

“Eddie.” Doug gripped his hand tightly as Kristine peppered kisses all over Richie’s face. “It was a pleasure to meet you. Keep that one out of trouble, yeah?”

“Yes sir.”

“Eddie! Gosh this was so fun, I hope you had as much of a good time as I did!’ Kristine turned her attention to him, and sure enough, placing a big kiss on his cheek. “See you again soon?”

“I sure hope so.”

Richie stopped Joanna, who was trying to dash past them without saying goodbye. “Hey hey hey, what the hell kid?” He chuckled at her sigh of annoyance. “No farewell for old Richie?”

She rolled her eyes, wrapping her arms around his neck as he squeezed the life out of her. “You’re so weird. But I love you I guess.” She grunted, shoving him away. “Can’t wait till Eddie dumps you.” With that, she sheepishly turned to Eddie, and reluctantly gave him a hug as well. “If you do end up dumping that idiot… can you still visit?”

“Sure.” He laughed softly, smirking at Richie as she ran outside with the rest of her family.

Gemma and Daniel stayed a little longer, finishing off the almost finished jug of eggnog as an excuse. Craig clapped Went on the shoulder and lifted the giant back of leftovers. “Are you sure it’s okay for us to take this much?”

“We have plenty.” He assured him. “Don’t worry about it.”

Maggie had a sleepy Ryan dangling in her arms while Deb held onto Sarah who was also drifting in and out of sleep. It was clear that the sisters had missed talking with each other, and they wore sad smiles knowing that they had to leave each other again. Before grabbing his son from Maggie, Daniel hugged Went goodbye. “Are you sure you don’t need me to go with you to drop off Wendy?”

“No need.” He nodded, patting his back. “I think we’ll just keep her here until after the holidays. We’ve even been thinking about having her move into our house permanently.”

Daniel kissed Maggie goodbye and scooped up Ryan into his arms, stopping at the archway of the kitchen. “Richie. Eddie. It’s been a pleasure.”

“Bye Danny boy.”

“Same here.”

Deb pulled away from Maggie after a long hug, trying their best not to squish Sarah in between them. She gave Richie and Eddie both kisses on the cheek before attempting to leave, but the little girl shot awake in her arms. “Richie!” She cried out, trying to leap from her grandmother’s arms and into his. “I don’t wanna go.” Her small lip was quivering and she looked like she was about to cry.

“Hey big girl, no need to be upset.” He said gently, squeezing her in his arms. She wrapped her small arms around his neck and buried her face there, refusing to let go. “It’s okay, we’ll see each other soon. And you can always ask mommy to facetime me.”

“Can we visit you in Cali-fornia.” She asked, pronouncing it like it was two words.

“Anytime sweetie.” He nodded, giving her one last squeeze before handing her back to Deb slowly. She seemed to accept his answer but still looked sad waving goodbye to him and Eddie. “Looks like your daughter likes me more than you.” He teased Gemma, who still waited with them in the kitchen as she said bye to Went and Maggie.

“No surprise there.” She rolled her eyes playfully. “She’s just like you.”

“I can’t tell if that’s a compliment or an insult.”

“I hate to admit it… but it’s definitely a compliment.” She shook her head with a small smile. Like her daughter, she wrapped her arms around his neck and nuzzled into her shoulder. “I love you Rich. Don’t be a stranger okay?”

“I promise. Love you too… you bitch.”

“Asshole.” She laughed, wiping her glossy eyes. “Eddie. So glad you guys finally admitted your gross love for each other.” She cupped his face, sticking her tongue out at him. “I better be invited to the fucking wedding.”

“Hm.” He pretended to think about it, pulling her hands from his face. The thought of marrying Richie made him feel warm inside and scared at the same time. But he played it off with a shrug. “Maybe. We’ll see if there’s room.”

“Boom Eds!” Richie cheered, flipping her off.

“You’re both the worst.” She snickered, flipping them both off with each hand. “Let’s make plans together again.” And after blowing a few kisses, she left after her family, leaving the house oddly quiet. 

Richie stretched, his joints audibly cracking from a long day of running around. Eddie yawned, forgetting that it was past midnight and that they still had some cleaning up to do. “Go to bed boys.” Went told them, gesturing upstairs. “Get some rest, just try not to wake Grandma.”

“Are you sure? We can stay and help some more-”

“It’s alright Eddie.” Maggie interrupted him. “You’ve already helped plenty today. All that’s left really is to set the dishwasher.”

Sensing that she wasn’t going to budge, both men gave in and headed to the stairs. “Hey ma?” Richie stopped, remembering what he needed to ask her. “Quick question- is it okay if Eddie and I stay another day? Instead of leaving tomorrow afternoon… or today more like. We can push it back so we can stay another night-”

“Oh dear, I’m going to cry.” She croaked out, shielding her face. “You both really want to stay? This isn’t some sick joke right? I’m too old for that Richard!”

“I’m serious!”

“You both are welcome to stay as long as you want.” Wentworth answered for her, chuckling as he hugged her for comfort. “Don’t worry about it boys, our house is your house.”

“Thanks dad.” Richie winked before smiling down at Eddie. He pumped his fist into the air as if to say  _ success! _ “Love you momma. Goodnight.” 

“Gee, thanks Rich. No love for pops?”

“I love you too Went!” Richie saluted, getting pulled upstairs quietly by Eddie. “Well that  _ Went _ well huh?”

“Did you just use your father’s name in a pun?” Eddie scoffed. “I thought comedians were supposed to be funny.”

Richie followed him like a puppy into the guest room, smiling like an idiot as they undressed for bed. “You talk a big talk you little shit, but I saw you laughing and smiling all night.” 

“Because your family is funny, not you.” He shrugged, not trying too hard to hide his little smirk. “Apple seems to fall far from the tree.”

Richie placed a hand to his chest to feign hurt, frowning at the love of his life. “Wow Eds, you wound me. And here I thought you enjoyed me on SNL, and that you lived for my Sound of Music performance.”

Eddie chuckled to himself just thinking about it. “Fine. That was pretty funny.” He gave up, pulling Richie into bed with him. “You’re kind of funny I guess.”

“One of us has to be, you’re as funny as a piece of plywood! You’re lucky you’re cute-”

“Asshole.”

When everyone in the house woke the following morning, it was pretty much the afternoon. After a long night of celebrating even Wentworth and Eddie, the early birds, slept in until practically lunchtime. When Richie and Eddie both trudged downstairs after their showers, Wendy was already heating up leftovers for Went and Maggie.

It was a slow day from there, and Eddie was thankful that the hours stretched long instead of flying by. The group lounged on the couch after gorging themselves on leftovers and watched through recordings of the parade and a variety of other movies. 

Richie wanted to watch a horror movie, which Maggie vetoed, saying that it wasn’t festive. She suggested March of the Wooden Soldiers instead, but Wendy thought it was too cliche. Went and Eddie stayed silent, watching the others bicker back and forth about movies to watch. Ultimately, they watched Home Alone, Rocky (for some odd reason), Sound of Music (of course), Die Hard (which Richie swears is the ‘best Christmas movie of all time’), and Gremlins. 

Everyone chatted through every single movie, especially Richie, who had commentary for each one. Eddie pretended to be annoyed by it, but that was just so he wouldn’t have to admit that Richie’s stupid jokes and impressions of the characters were actually pretty funny. His parents’ attempts at scolding him didn’t do much either since they too were laughing at their son's ridiculousness. Wendy fell asleep halfway through Die Hard, of all movies, and Richie found that absolutely hysterical. 

“Do you boys have any plans for the holidays?” Wentworth asked, giving everyone a break before starting their last movie of the evening. 

“We haven’t really talked about it.” Eddie sighed, stretching his legs out, back pressed against Richie’s chest. At first it felt weird being so touchy with Richie in front of his parents, but like always, there was no judgment radiating from any of them. Just love. “But whether it’s Hanukkah or Christmas, I’m sure we’ll figure it out.”

“Just celebrate both.” Maggie yawned. “Did you know that Went’s family is Catholic? It’s my side that’s Jewish, actually. When we were younger, way back in the day, we celebrated both holidays but when Richie was born we just stuck with Hanukkah. I think it was easier that way with the family coming over and all.”

“We should do that!” Richie grinned, kissing the side of his face quickly, also not bothered by his parents being right there. If he told little Richie Tozier that he’d be openly affectionate with his boyfriend in front of his parents, he’d have a stroke. And if he told him that said boyfriend was Eddie Kaspbrak, he would have ascended to another plane of existence. “We can totally blend the holidays. Chrismukkah.”

“That name is atrocious.” Eddie laughed, leaning his head back onto Richie’s shoulder. “But we can talk about it. I don’t care what we do.”  _ As long as it’s with you. _

“What did I miss?” Wendy finally awoke as Gremlins ended, just in time for the rest of them to break out another jug of eggnog. She was slightly dazed, looking between everyone and yawning loudly. “What day is it?”

“It’s the day after Thanksgiving ma.” Went laughed through his glass. “When you wake up a little more I’ll drive you home.”

“No no, I’ll call David to come get me.” She waved him off. “You need to stay here and milk the time you have with Richard. And Eddie of course.” It was sweet, adamant about being driven home by her caretaker so that Wentworth could stay and continue to drink with the boys. It wasn’t that big of a deal, since he and Maggie planned on her coming back to stay permanently while they arranged a good time for her to move in. “Before I go though, I do have gifts.”

“G-ma coming through! Is it the number one spot in your will?”

“Richie!” Eddie scolded, mortified, but Wendy seemed to find it hilarious.

“You wish you little shit!” She snorted. “It’s just small things, I heard that you were coming last minute.” Despite Richie’s constant guesses on what it was and Eddie’s insistence that there was no need to get him a gift, she dismissed them both and calmly scooted to the dining room where she’d hid them. “I know it’s not much, but after your parents filled me in I couldn’t show up empty handed.”

She handed Richie and Eddie each a wrapped bundle, watching them both closely as they tore them open. Richie dropped the paper to the side and wrung out the winter coat, inspecting it. “How did you know I needed a coat?”

“I’ve never seen you wear one.” She glared at him. “Now when it’s cold you have one just in case. Little punk…” She muttered under her breath.

“This is very sweet, thank you.” Eddie smiled, examining his own vest. It was a detachable hood puffer vest, right up his alley. He used to wear vests a lot as a kid when winter would hit Derry, and even though his friends often called him an old man for wearing it, he enjoyed them.

“No problem sweetie.” She smiled back at him, checking the time and humming to her son. “Well, David should be here any minute. I’ll make sure to see you and Maggie around the holidays so you both can get your gifts. As for you boys.” She turned back to Richie and Eddie. “It was so nice to see you again. Please, please, please come back to visit.”

“We will.” Richie assured her, wrapping his long arms around her to give her a squeeze. “I’ll be sending you tickets to my show, keep an eye out.”

“Can’t wait.” She grinned, giving him a big kiss on his cheek. “Eddie, darling.” She cupped his face gently, giving him a kiss as well. “We are so very lucky to have you in this family.” He didn’t even know how to respond to that, so he just hugged her tightly, sad to see her go.

By the time her driver showed up, it was getting late, much to everyone’s dismay. “I think you boys should sleep in some tomorrow morning, so should we exchange some gifts tonight?” Maggie asked, clearly giddy at the thought. It was crazy how much Richie took after his mother, both having that same excitement and kindness always present. 

The men couldn’t stand letting her down even if they wanted to, so they all sat around the couch one last time before bed to swap presents. They’d all agreed beforehand to one give ONE gift to each person, but of course, Richie found a way to bypass the rule.

“Technically these aren’t a holiday gift, I was going to give them to you anyway.” He laughed, waving the tickets in front of his parents.

“I can’t believe you.” Maggie huffed, shaking her head before taking them. Eddie had known that he was planning to reserve seats at him Netflix show for family and friends, but he had no idea what other gifts he had gotten for his parents. All he knew, for a fact, is that Richie loved to go big with his presents. 

“Me next!” Maggie clapped her hands, grabbing the small box beside her and handed it to Eddie. “Open, open!”

He sheepishly unwrapped the box, breath already hitching at the Rolex logo. He slowly opened the lid, gasping at the silver and black watch inside. It was gorgeous, chic and lightweight. He picked it up carefully, rolling the smooth metal around his fingers.

“You needed a new watch!” Richie said before he could speculate on how expensive the watch was. He knew that the Rolex in his hand had to cost a grand or two.

“Not just any watch. It’s an explorer.” She added. “Every man in the family gets one.” It made Eddie’s heart clench, knowing that he now had physical proof that he was a part of the Tozier family. He smiled brightly at her as Richie helped him put it on his wrist. “Is that a ring Eddie?”

“Oh yeah.” He held up his hand, flashing the ring and new watch. “Richie got it for me in Hawaii.” Her eyes lit up, and both boys could see her mind racing.

“It’s gorgeous.” She gasped, reaching for his hand to examine it. “Good work Richard.”

“Thanks mom. I told you I have  _ some _ taste.” 

Went and Maggie didn’t have Richie’s gifts with them physically, but they told him that he’d get them when he arrived back in LA. At first they didn’t want to spoil it, but after Richie’s nonstop pleas, they finally let it slip that they’d not only sent all of his old comics over like they’d promised, but they also ordered him his very own piano for the house. And he was ecstatic.

“Oh I’m going to be brushing up my skills. Maybe I’ll even dabble in songwriting… if Eddie doesn’t kill me first.”

“As long as the songs aren’t stupid, you might stand a chance.”

“My turn.” Went rolled his eyes at them, handing Eddie another gift. “Happy holidays.”

“Thanks Went.” Eddie unveiled a brand new set of cufflinks and ties, in immaculate condition no less. “These are very nice!”

“Richie told us that you landed a new job, so I thought it couldn’t hurt to be the best dressed.” He chuckled. “Congratulations by the way.”

“Hey, doesn’t that technically count as two gifts? How come I got shit for the tickets?” Richie crossed his arms, raising an eyebrow at his father.

“They came in a set, smartass.” Went challenged, grabbing the small box that Richie held out to him. “This isn’t what I think it is, right?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” His son smiled smugly. Went opened the box and swallowed thickly, closing his eyes and shaking his head. “What is it?”

“You’ve lost your mind.” He huffed out a laugh, blinking a few times before staring back down at the box and pulling the car keys out. “A Mclaren Rich?”

Both Maggie and Eddie choked on air, exchanging looks with each other. Eddie wanted to smack him for spending so much money, but at the end of the day, there was nothing that he could say to convince him to not spend money on the people he cared about. “Yeah man, a Mclaren. But I didn’t have time to go get it so you’ll have to pick it up from the place.”

“I don’t need a car this nice.” 

“I know you don’t, just like I don’t  _ need _ a piano.” Richie shrugged. “I know you always wanted one. And let’s just say I got paid a pretty penny for SNL.” 

Everyone could tell that Went wanted to argue some more, but he swallowed whatever he was going to say and offered his son a crooked smile. “Thank you. Can’t wait to take her for a spin.”

“What are you, a car dealership?” Maggie laughed, shaking her head at them both.

“Don’t think I forgot about you mom.” He grinned evilly. He handed her a box roughly around the same size and she looked at him skeptically.

“This better not be another car.” She muttered, slowly working her gift open while staring at him with suspicion in her eyes. Hesitantly peeking in, she sighed in relief when it wasn’t another set of car keys. It was short lived, because she was soon gawking at the white gold necklace she pulled out. “Richie.” 

It was a decent sized locket, with multiple layers for pictures. A variety of emotions crossed over her face, and she took a deep breath with her eyes closed and the locket pressed against her chest. She didn’t even bother at this point scolding him for how much he probably spent on it. “This is beautiful sweetie, thank you.”

“Love you mom.” He smirked, hugging her tightly.

“Is it my turn?” Eddie asked, feeling somewhat nervous. “This one is technically a shared gift for both of you.” He handed Maggie an unwrapped frame of some of his favorite photos of Richie with a small bow on the corner. She had complained numerous times over the phone that they had no recent pictures of Richie in their house, so it was a small little thing he thought of.

“Finally!” She cheered hugging it close to her, pressed against the new locket hanging around her neck. “Thank you Eddie, that is so sweet.

Next handed Wentworth an envelope that had his and Maggie’s name on it, another shared gift. Richie had seen the frame in Eddie’s backpack, but narrowed his eyes at the envelope, having no idea what was in it. “That’s another shared gift.”

“That’s cheating.” Richie snickered, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “You found a loophole in the rules you little minx. Share gifts, huh?”

Eddie smirked at him as Went opened it up, pulling out a little card. He leaned over so Maggie could read it with him, both of their eyes softening as they scanned over the short chunk of text on the card. But Richie was left in the dark as to what it said. 

After finishing reading, Maggie smiled at him, wiping the corners of her eyes as Went carefully unfolded the paper that was attached to the card. He read over it and furrowed his brows before looking up to him. “Eddie?”

“Really?” Maggie exclaimed, looking just as excited as she was emotional. “Tickets to Hawaii?”

Richie looked down at him, confused, and Eddie just laughed. “Well I thought it would be nice for you both to go. I had the time of my life there.” He nodded. “It was fun… and romantic.”

“When did you do this?” Richie asked, just as surprised as his parents.

“Not telling.” He winked. “Happy holidays Maggie, Went.”

Ever since he practically begged Richie for them to stay in Bar Harbor a little longer, he’d been dreading leaving. Now not only did he not want to have to say goodbye to Maggie and Wentworth, when they all woke up in the morning it was  _ snowing. _

It had been a while since Richie had seen snow, so his first response was to run out with the new coat that Wendy had gotten him and dive straight onto the powdery lawn. It was very pretty out, different to how pretty it was in New York when it was winter. In the city especially, the white blanket quickly turned into slush on the sidewalks and street. But here it was quite the sight.

Even Eddie thought it was fun for about three minutes before starting to panic about their flight. He wasn’t sure if he was legitimately worried about flying in the weather or if it was his mind subconsciously trying to find another excuse to stay longer. But he knew that they couldn’t stay there forever.  _ Or can we? _

He shook his head.  _ No, it’s time. _

Eddie just landed a job, and Richie had his own career and connections to maintain in LA. The scary part was that he knew if he’d asked, Richie wouldn’t hesitate to throw it all away for them to stay, to make Eddie happy.

So he knew that it was his responsibility to make sure they got on that damn plane. 

“Call me when you land. I’m serious Richard, do not give me a heart attack.” Maggie held onto her son tightly, combing her slender fingers through his hair. He could tell that she was having a hard time saying goodbye too.

“Bye son.” Went, in the meantime, hugged Eddie. “You are always welcome back, anytime. Take care okay?”

“Thank you.” He breathed out, trying to hold it together. “For everything. Send us plenty of pictures of Hawaii when you go.”

“Roger that.” He pat him on the back one last time before moving to bid his son a farewell.

“Eddie.” Maggie smiled sadly, almost suffocating him with her hug. “This has been the best Thanksgiving, ever. Thank you for making it so special.”

“No, thank  _ you.” _

“Sweet boy.” She laughed into his neck. “Please look out for each other okay? I know you are going to keep doing great things, you deserve great things.” She pulled away, pinching his cheek lightly, nearly killing him with the tears welling up in her eyes. “I love you.”

Eddie’s breath hitched, nearly shaking from trying to hold in his own tears. “I love you too Maggie. We’ll come back, I promise.”

As soon as they pulled out of the driveway and the Tozier household was out of sight, Eddie broke down, covering his face with his hands as he cried like a baby. Richie gripped his thigh tightly, giving him a moment to let it all out. It took a good few minutes of driving for him to stop and laugh at himself, drying his face off.

“If I would’ve known you enjoy the holidays so much I would’ve planned to stay longer.” Richie smiled at him. He hated that Eddie was upset about having to leave, but he was happy that he had such a good time. Really, the few minutes of tears were worth the past couple of days of happiness. “We can always come back, but now I have to step up my game for Chrismukkah.”

“Woah, slow down.” Eddie snorted. “We are still doing one gift each.” 

“Ugh that’s so stupid, this is for Christmas  _ and _ Hannukah.”

“One. Gift.” He repeated. “We don’t need any more stuff, I’m going for more sentimental.”

“You’re boring.” Richie rolled his eyes. “Fine. I’ll pick  _ one _ gift.”

“Do not go too crazy-”

“Too late…”   
  


“Richie!” He scolded with a little laugh. “Don’t.”

“It’s Chrismukkah Eds, but I’ll take your dumb rules into consideration.”

“Stop calling it that, it’s silly.”

“Chrismukkah?”

“Yeah, it’s ridiculous.”

“... Chris-”

“Rich!”

“-Mukkah. God, I can’t believe I’m with such a Scrooge!”

“Whatever. You’re the one that wants to spend the holidays with me. And combine the holidays with me.” He chuckled fidgeting with the watch on his wrist. “I’m reinstated in your family. It’s official. You’re never getting rid of me now, Tozier.” 

“Good, I never want to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry that this chapter took nearly a month to write, I felt like I needed it to be done right, so I hope it comes out good. Over 17000 words :0 
> 
> With that being said, I hope you enjoy! (: 
> 
> Any feedback in the comments is greatly appreciated and I hope to keep updating at LEAST once a month (I have up till chapter 25 pretty much planned out so we'll see if people still care about this story by then!!
> 
> Stay safe and healthy everyone <3 thanks for sticking around and being patient!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That was another glorious part of now living in LA, or at least for Eddie. There was no shoveling, no mounds of snow, no ice.
> 
> It was sort of strange for him, not having the cold weather hit California during the holidays. Harsh winter was all he knew during Christmas, but somehow it still felt cheerful. Well, everything felt cheerful when Richie was around. He was currently putting up a Menorah for Hanukkah like he did as a kid, and he ordered plenty of Christmas decorations as well. 
> 
> All for Chrismukkah, as he deemed it.  
> ________________  
> Richie & Eddie celebrate Chrismukkah and New Years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter is more than 50% smut (((:  
> Also some minor mentions of drug abuse

Having a townhouse back in New York was definitely nicer than having an apartment. More space, more privacy, less rules, less noise. It was far superior. 

But the one thing Eddie could not stand, was shoveling the driveway and walkway during the winter. The snow was pretty and all, until it turned to ice or slush. That was another glorious part of now living in LA, or at least for Eddie. There was no shoveling, no mounds of snow, no ice.

It was sort of strange for him, not having the cold weather hit California during the holidays. Harsh winter was all he knew during Christmas, but somehow it still felt cheerful. Well, everything felt cheerful when Richie was around. He was currently putting up a Menorah for Hanukkah like he did as a kid, and he ordered plenty of Christmas decorations as well. 

All for Chrismukkah, as he deemed it.

“Hey babe?” Richie hummed, setting down the last box of Christmas tree ornaments that he’d ordered. They didn’t actually have a tree yet, that was something that was ordered somewhat late. They talked about going to get a real tree, but those were hard to maintain and they attracted bugs, so they both settled for a fake one that they ordered online.

“Hm?” Eddie sipped his hot chocolate as he scrolled on his phone, humming at the warmth that spread in his chest due to the hot liquid.

“We should get a pet.”

The hot chocolate nearly came out of his mouth as fast as it went in, sputtering out in coughs as Eddie let out a mix between a laugh and a wheeze. He was shocked, to say the least. But this also wasn’t the first time Richie hinted that he wanted some sort of pet. 

The past two weeks were filled with animal videos playing on the tv, and Richie sending Eddie countless pictures of dogs and cats. They were all cute, of course, and Eddie told him as much. A part of him had been waiting for the topic to be brought up but not now, not like this.

“What?”

“A pet Eds!” Richie smiled at him wildly. “Like a little puppy or kitten. Maybe even a bird-”

“We’re not getting a bird, they are too crazy and too loud.”

“… So you’re saying you’ll consider a puppy or kitten?”

Eddie laughed at that, shaking his head at the man child in front of him. He’d been told all his life that he couldn’t have a pet because they were dirty and could get him sick… so a big part of him always wanted one. But that didn’t mean that he was going to get one on impulse. “This is your house Rich, your call. But if you show up with a tarantula or something I swear-”

_ “Our.” _ Richie pouted at him, cutting him off. “It’s  _ our _ house, and if  _ we _ are going to get a pet then  _ we _ are going to do it as a  _ team. _ Capeesh?” 

“Fine. We can talk about it…” That was good enough for Riche, at least for now. 

Luckily, their new Christmas tree arrived quickly, which only meant more chaos for the household. Richie had never decorated a tree before, and Eddie was never really allowed to help or make it his own, so they both had a lot of work cut out for them. Maybe it would’ve been easier to make decisions if Richie hadn’t bought every ornament set on the planet. 

“That Star Wars one is not going that close to the star.” Eddie scolded, trying to hold back a laugh as Richie’s arm moved around the top of the tree, searching for a good spot. 

“Listen mister, when you can reach up this high then you can tell me what to do.” Even Richie had to stand on his tippy toes to reach that far up, putting the ornament of Darth Vader as close to the star as possible. “Perfect.”

“You’re ridiculous.” He sighed, picking up another random ornament from the box. “Here, find another stupid place for this one.”

Richie looked down and squinted his eyes at the Scooby Doo one that he was holding out for him. He looked down at his boyfriend with a mischievous little smirk. “Now you’re just encouraging me.”

“It’s our first tree, I want it to be a mix of us.”

“That’s fucking cute.” He snickered, ducking his head down for a quick peck. Eddie always tasted good, most of the time like a seasoned tea, fresh mint, or even his vanilla lip balm. But when Richie licked his lips he caught a small remnant of hot chocolate. He couldn’t help but go in again, sealing their lips for a little longer to get more of the flavor. Plus, his lips were so soft.

He ended up putting the ornament up high again, making it look like Scooby Doo and Darth Vader were looking at each other  _ ‘longingly’ _ as Richie put it. “You’re a maniac.” Eddie laughed, carefully hanging up another matte blue ball to match the pattern going on his side of the tree. His side was neat as were most of the things that he did. He chose a mix of blues, silvers, and little clear icicles that Richie had gotten. 

It looked nice and put together from where he was standing, but as soon as he shifted his gaze to Richie’s side, he couldn’t help but laugh to himself. The other side of the tree was littered with green and red balls, random ornaments from movies, cartoons, and of course, candy canes. “How is it that you picked Hanukkah colors and I picked Christmas colors?” Richie grinned at him, placing a candy cane in between his prized Darth Vader and Scooby Doo. “Look, they’re sharing.”

“I only picked these because we have enough red, and the whole damn tree is green.” That was only half true. As stupid as he thought the name ‘Chrismukkah’ was, he really did want to blend the holidays evenly. Richie had insisted that they skip actual Hanukkah because he thought it would be  _ ‘too damn complicated’ _ but Eddie still didn’t want to undermine his tradition. 

“It looks like we decorated this while tripping on acid.” Richie snorted, stepping back to admire his work. “Too bad the only people who are gonna see this are my near one million Twitter followers.”

“Don’t, they’ll call the police for sure.”

“Eh, fuck em.” He shrugged, snapping a photo, and sure enough, Twitter went absolutely crazy. But not as crazy as when Richie videotaped himself decorating a Christmas cookie. “I’m Jewish, so I’ve never made cookies for Santa, but I’d imagine he likes a lot of sugar.”

“That’s way too much sugar.” Eddie laughed from behind the camera. “Even for Santa.”

Ever since Richie had started publicly sharing parts of his life, his fans craved more and more. And everyone LOVED Eddie. Though they had no idea who he was, usually calling him “mystery man” when speculating about their relationship. As soon as he posted the short video, the same comments started rolling in.  _ Who’s voice is that? Is that his new boyfriend? Who’s the mystery man? _

“There is no such thing as too much sugar for Santa, Eds. It’s fucking SANTA.”

“If you kill Santa via sugar overdose, the world will hate you.”

“He literally eats the cookies at every single house in America, if he overdoses that’s his choice. He should take a look into rehab, it’s not too bad.” Eddie didn’t know how to respond to that so he just stifled a laugh as he laid down his last cookie. Richie normally didn’t like talking about his past fuck ups, unless he was joking about them of course. It was a struggle for Eddie to even learn about Richie’s past substance abuse, and that he was in fact admitted into rehab at one point. It made sense why when Richie disappeared back to Derry that the people around him assumed the worst. 

But it didn’t matter what happened in the past. Eddie loved Richie more than anything, even when he was being difficult. And those difficulties happened to reveal themselves in times of stress. Not that they weren’t having fun as the holidays neared, they definitely did. As the days passed, and both Hanukkah and Christmas were right around the corner, both men were giddy at the idea of spending them together. 

But they were also both stressed out of their minds, and refused to show it to each other. They both agreed on getting one gift since they constantly showered each other with things on a normal day. And Eddie didn’t want to feel embarrassed at Richie going above and beyond when he couldn’t afford anything near what Richie could. One gift would soften the blow, but he was stressing hard on what to get him. 

And Richie was clearly stressed about his Netflix special. When he wasn’t eating or hanging Christmas lights, he was typing away on his laptop, quiet as a mouse. Eddie knew that he was trying desperately to finish his script so that he could at least enjoy Ben and Bev’s wedding, which was set just before his show. January was going to be a rough transition, Eddie was starting work again and Richie had one of the biggest performances of his life lined up.

They were both excited, but the overwhelming sense of anxiety and stress was beginning to overshadow that excitement. Richie let out an exasperated sigh, dragging Eddie’s attention from his phone. He looked him over, hair disheveled and shirt unbuttoned as he rubbed at his eyes violently. Eddie shook his head at him, shutting his phone and moving his feet from Richie’s lap. Slowly, he inched across the couch and placed a small kiss on his forehead. Richie couldn’t help but smile a little bit, which always brightened Eddie’s day.

“Hey.” He pressed another kiss this time to his lips. “Take a break.”

“Can’t.” Richie hummed, leaning his head against his. “Have to get this done.” He stopped Eddie’s attempt to shut the laptop with a small smirk. “I promise, you’ll have all of my attention tonight.”

Eddie huffed, rolling his eyes. “That’s what you said last night. And the night before.” He traced his hand over his thigh, lowering his eyes at him. “C’mon Rich. Please?”

Richie’s breath stuttered at the soft little ‘please’. “Baby, I really need to-”

“Whatever.” Eddie groaned, standing up off of the couch abruptly. “I’m gonna go jerk off in the bedroom. Don’t bother me.” But he knew that Richie knew that he desperately wanted him to come bother him. He was super pent up dealing with his own stress, and Richie not touching him for the past few days was only agitating him more. He slammed the door shut behind him to make a statement and quickly worked at untying the little string bow in his pants, but just as he suspected (and hoped for), Richie was already opening the door and peeking in.

“Oh so you were being serious.” 

“I thought I told you not to bother me.” Eddie scowled, feeling heat rise up the back of his neck.

“You know better than to think I’d ever stop bothering you.” 

Eddie stopped fiddling with his pants and turned to him, dropping the act with a little smirk. “Did you come over here  _ just _ to bother me?”

“Clever boy using the thought of you in here with your hand on your dick to distract me from writing. I couldn’t get back to work even if I tried.” Richie snorted, stepping fully into the room and shutting the door behind him. “I’m sorry I’ve been so busy. I know I can get kind of irritable when I’m stressed.”

“If you get onto the bed and let me help you unwind, I’ll forgive you.”

“Fine.” Richie agreed, already moving past him towards the bed. “But stop getting undressed, that’s my favorite part.”

“Yeah?” Eddie grinned, following him and crawling up to where he was laying. 

“Hell yeah. You could literally just sit under the tree and let me unwrap you for Christmas. That would be the best gift ever.” 

“Jesus, shut up.” Eddie laughed, leaning in to press their lips together. It wasn’t heated, it was slow, gentle, and just to let him know that he loved him. That everything was gonna be okay, that he was doing a good job. “If you could unwrap me right now that would be great.” He grinded into his thigh for emphasis, whining softly at the friction.

Richie hurriedly sat up, helping him lift his shirt over his head before latching onto his neck. He loved leaving marks where Eddie couldn’t hide them, and it worked for now considering that they didn’t go out much. He knew that he had to take advantage while Eddie wasn’t working yet. He held him tightly in his lap, grunting whenever he’d wiggle around as he sucked harsh bruises on his collarbone. By the time he sucked a second dark hickey onto his hot skin, he could tell Eddie was getting impatient. Apparently he’d been impatient since the morning, because when Richie got him out of his pants and had his hand behind him, his eyes widened. “You’re loose sweetheart.”

“I fingered myself in the shower this morning.” He panted, face burning a dark red.

“Without me?”

“You were working.” He reminded him with a sly little smile. “Didn’t want to interrupt you.”

“Have I been neglecting you baby?” Richie chuckled into his neck, kissing over the blooming bruises. “M’ sorry, I didn’t mean to ignore you.”

“S’okay.” Eddie sighed into his ear, rocking his hips gently against Richie’s. “Lay down, it’s my turn to be a fucking tease.” He almost laughed at how quickly Richie’s back hit the bed, scooting down his long legs to lay down between them. “Going commando?” He asked, amused when Richie’s half hard cock greeted him when he pulled down the waistband of his sweatpants.

“Is there a problem with that?” His breath hitched at Eddie’s face being so close.

“No.” He answered quickly before wrapping his hand around it. It always felt heavy in his hands, and at first he hated how small it made his hands look. But over time it started to make him even more aware of how much he liked how big Richie was compared to him in every way. 

“Eddie.” It was a low growl, and Eddie knew better than to keep teasing him if he wanted to be fucked. He moved his hand quicker, satisfied at the way he bucked into his hand for more.

“See, isn’t this better than working all day?” He proved his point with a small lick to his leaking tip. He couldn’t help when his body shivered at the low groan surging out of Richie’s mouth. It only encouraged him to do it again, batting his eyelashes at him.

“You’re a little shit.” He chuckled from deep in his chest. “Get up here.” He let Eddie kiss him before rolling them over. “Turn over.” He listened, flipping over onto his stomach, surprised that Richie was cutting to the chase for once. He couldn’t see, but he felt him maneuvering behind him so that he could strip his clothes off. 

Without warning, there was a slicked finger prodding at his entrance, gliding in easily. “Fuck.” Eddie gasped, inching his knees up so that Richie had better access. “Feels so much better when you do it. Your fingers are nice and lo _ -ng!” _ He keened at the long digit pressing up against his prostate.

“Feels good, Eds?”

_ “Yes.” _ He hissed out, trying to swivel his hips a little for more pressure. Richie’s large hand forced him down by the shoulders, giving him another finger.

“Stay.”

Eddie listened, keening and twisting his fingers into the sheets and muffling his moans into the mattress. Normally he loved to go back and forth in a power struggle during sex, but something about seeing Richie so in charge made his stomach churn in the best way possible. He shuddered as Richie curled his fingers, shifting behind him again to spread him open wider. He felt him start at the back of his neck, hunched over him to kiss down his spine, stopping to pay special attention to the scarred skin like he always did. Eddie sighed, relishing in the feeling of his soft lips on his skin and his fingers gently rubbing the spot that made his vision white out.

“Richie.” He sputtered when he felt his lips move dangerously low.

“Let me?” Richie withdrew his fingers, humming as he waited for Eddie’s answer, kissing impossibly lower, making him jolt underneath him.

“Fuck… yeah okay.”

“Relax.” Richie whispered, leaning over to kiss his forehead before returning to his position. “Relax baby.” He said again, his breath hot over Eddie’s opening. A strangled groan punched out of his chest when Richie dragged the flat of his tongue over the sensitive ring of muscle, clutching at the sheets even harder, so tightly that his knuckles turned white.

“Richie, shit.” Eddie trembled, Richie knocking his legs open a little wider so that he had more access. And once he did, he didn’t hesitate to lap at him enthusiastically. Eddie squeezed his eyes shut, the sensations of Richie’s warm wet tongue making his head spin. They’d never done this before, but it wasn’t hard to feel incredibly turned on when Richie was so determined to make him feel good. Even if he should’ve felt disgusted by Richie’s mouth there, he unconsciously rocked his hips to push back onto his face.

He yelped when Richie slowly breached his entrance with his tongue, rubbing against where the two were connected with his thumb. The vibrations of Richie groaning against him added extra waves of sensitivity. “So good Eds.” Richie laughed softly at the whimper he received when he withdrew his tongue, making up for it with two fingers. He curled them just right, making Eddie nearly collapse onto the bed from the pressure. “You like it.”

“Mhm.” Eddie confirmed, trying to get Richie’s hand to keep moving.

“Nuh uh.” Richie smirked at Eddie’s annoyed whine when he removed both fingers. “You know I like it when you use your words-”

“Yes Richie, I fucking like it.” He spat, hissing when Richie granted him with now three fingers. He rocked his hips gently back to get them deeper, and Richie didn’t try to stop him. He watched hungrily as Eddie let out small little “uh uh uhs” as he wiggled his hips to fuck himself on the long digits. “More, please Rich.”

They both knew well that Richie would jump to give him anything he wanted, especially when he was begging. He pumped his fingers a little bit longer, lapping at the stretched muscle a few more times before removing his fingers and replacing them with his tongue again. The drawn out little whines spurred him on again, fucking into him with his tongue. “Think you could cum like this baby?” He asked, giving his tongue a small break.

“No, w-wanna cum with you in me.” His voice was shaky as Richie had his way with him, licking a rough stripe over him.

“That’s not what I asked, Eds.” Eddie groaned, Richie flipping him onto his back to admire how hard and swollen he was. He arched his back violently when Richie pushed all three fingers back in at the same time. “C’mon, humor me and I’ll give you what you want.”

“Fine, fine-” Eddie’s breath hitched at the pressure. “I- I don’t know. Maybe. Maybe… we’ll try it some time just- just not now please.” He bit down on his lip when Richie didn’t budge for a moment. “Richie, please.”

“Okay, okay.” Richie chuckled, running his hand through Eddie’s hair to get it off of his forehead, which was already beading with sweat. “You want me to fuck you?”

“Brush your teeth first so I can kiss you.”

“Really?”

“Just because I started letting you kiss me after sucking my dick doesn’t mean I’m ready for ass to mouth. My mouth specifically.” He glared at Richie, who opened his mouth to argue but quickly closed it. He slowly dragged his fingers out of him to make a point before stumbling into the bathroom. “Make sure you get your tongue too you fucking animal!” 

Richie shook his head before squeezing a ton of toothpaste onto his brush and scrubbed his entire mouth till it was almost raw. He was proud of Eddie for trying something new, and for being so damn sexy, so he didn’t mind the break to clean up. When he joined Eddie back onto the bed he already had slicked himself up with the small bottle of lube, pumping himself in his hands. “Hey, leave some fun for me!”

“You were taking too long.” Eddie grunted, bucking up into his own fist. “I was going crazy.” He reached up for Richie like a needy child, and Richie could feel the smile on his face when he leaned down to press their lips together. Eddie hummed at the minty freshness of his breath, leading him down so that his back was pressed against the mattress. Before Richie could protest, Eddie was slicking him up with the lube, moving his hand quickly to try and warm it a little. 

Richie had a thing about Eddie being on top of him. He only let Eddie straddle him for a few seconds before flipping them over so he was hovering over him. Unless he was also sitting up, but never flat on his back. Usually Eddie didn’t mind, because it resulted in Richie fucking him real good, but he did sometimes get frustrated that he never got to be on top.

_ Topping _ was different, Richie didn’t have a problem with that at all. But Eddie wanted to  _ ride _ him, and he was going to get his way one way or another. “God Eddie, you’re perfect.” Richie sighed, tipping his head back a little bit against the pillow, which gave Eddie perfect access to his neck. Richie wasn’t the only one who liked leaving marks.

Eddie nipped at the underside of his jaw, before biting pretty roughly next to his Adam's apple. When he was satisfied at the splotchy red mark that would definitely form into a dark bruise, he sat up to straddle him again. But sure enough, Richie flipped them over, pressing Eddie deeper into the mattress with his body weight. Before he could even say anything, Richie’s tongue was deep in his mouth, flooding his taste buds with mint again. He knew that Richie was hoping he’d melt into it like always, but Eddie pushed his forearms back to shove him away. “Okay, what’s your problem Richie?”

“What are you talking about?” Richie sat up to let him wiggle out from underneath him. “Did I do something?” Whenever he looked like that, so confused and concerned, it made Eddie’s heart shatter.

“I’ve tried to ride you multiple times dickhead, and you always stop me! If you don’t want me to, just say so, so I don’t look like an idiot every time I try-” He squinted at Richie, whose face was blushing hard as he tried to hold back laughter. “Are you seriously laughing right now?”

“Sorry, sorry.” Richie snickered, shaking his head. “It’s not funny. It actually sucks really.”

“Richie?”

“I didn’t know it mattered to you so much Eds. I just- can’t right now.”

“Why!”

Richie sat down next to him, resting his head against the headboard, looking at him solemnly. “Because angel, the last time you were straddling me on my back, you almost died.” He tried to say it lightheartedly, but Eddie saw through the charade easily. 

“Oh.” He said quietly, frowning at him. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“I didn’t want to kill the mood like right now.” He smiled softly. “Sorry, I probably should’ve said something sooner.”

“Hey, it’s fine.” Eddie cupped his face pressing his lips to his firmly. Then a lightbulb popped up in his head. “Are you up for trying something a little different?”

“I’ll try anything with you.” Richie nodded, taking himself in his hands to get him rock hard again. “As long as it doesn’t trigger some PTSD or some shit.”

“Lay down dummy.” Eddie grinned, still uncomfortably hard as he climbed back over Richie. This time though, he faced away from him, legs spread around his torso. “How’s this.”

“Well the view is certainly something.” Richie purred, giving him a playful smack on his ass. “You might be a genius-  _ oh. _ ” He grabbed onto Eddie’s waist with his big hands as he sunk down on him slowly. “Eddie,  _ jesus. _ ”

“Eddie Kaspbrak.” He corrected, shuddering out a small laugh.

“God I love you.” 

“Love you too-  _ fuck, _ fuck don’t do that!” He gasped as Richie’s hips jerked, bouncing him lightly in his lap. “Fuck that’s- wow that’s deep.”

“I could cum right now just watching you.”

“Don’t you DARE.” Eddie hissed, swirling his hips to test the water as their thighs finally touched.  _ “Oh my god.” _

“Feel good?” Richie asked, quickly answered by a high pitched yelp as Eddie lifted himself and fell back onto his lap. “Shit baby-”

_ “Right. There.” _ Eddie panted, bouncing himself up and down, reaching forward to hold onto Richie’s calves so his back could arch. With every bounce, Richie hit his prostate dead on, nearly making him salivate from the pleasure. 

“God, look at yourself sweetheart.” Richie grunted, jaw clenching as he watched Eddie ride him through the mirror. “That might be the best thing I’ve ever hung up, ever.” He helped him quicken the pace by moving his hips back and forth in a strong grip. “This isn’t gonna last long.”

Eddie’s eyes were glued to the mirror as he spoke, clearly enjoying the view of him bouncing in Richie’s lap. He lifted himself slightly to support himself on one arm, moving the other to jerk himself, face twisting with pleasure. “So deep Richie, more, give me more.”

Richie watched him through the mirror too, thrusting upwards and savoring the punched out whimpers he got. “So sexy, fucking riding me like this. You like watching yourself Eds? Huh?” He grinned at the hurried nod he got as they locked eyes in the mirror. “Kinky boy, using me.”

“Yeah I’ve been repressing my sexuality for four decades, why are you surprised?” He keened at another rough thrust, wheezing for air. “I feel so full, feels so good.” Richie knew he was getting close by the way he started babbling. “God, right there is- so good. Need more… gonna cum soon. Rich, Richie, baby-”

Soon his hand was back on his leaking cock, tugging at it quickly as he bounced recklessly in Richie’s lap, little whines and growls spilling out of his mouth. Richie smiled at him through the mirror when he came all over his chest and his hand, bending his knees slightly to continue thrusting quickly into him, helping him ride it out. “So perfect babyboy.” He groaned, thrusting a few more times before clenching his eyes shut as he spilled into him, writhing as Eddie squirmed on top of him.

“Fuck that’s alot.” Eddie panted, a cross between a sigh and a whimper leaving his mouth when Richie helped lift him off of him. He only allowed two minutes max for them to both come down from their highs before he was scurrying to the bathroom. “We need to shower. Now, before we get the bed all gross.”

“Can’t a guy enjoy some post-sex bliss?”

“Are you going to enjoy my foot up your ass?” Eddie snapped, trying to make it through the sentence without breaking out into laughter. “You know what, don’t answer that. Just get up before you get sweat and cum everywhere! Seriously Rich I don’t feel like doing laundry today-”

“Fine.” He grumbled, swinging his legs over the side of their bed, the long limbs still feeling like jelly after being ridden. He quickly followed Eddie into the shower, shivering at how messy he looked, especially with Richie’s release streaming down his thigh in thin lines. “Did you have fun?”

Eddie snorted as he twisted the shower handle, sending a refreshing cascade of water over both of them. “I always have fun with you.” He smiled sweetly at him, making his heart swell. “Did  _ you  _ have fun?”

“You could literally put my dick in a blender and I’d probably still have fun with you.”

Eddie threw his head back with a loud laugh and the sound was music to Richie’s ears. “If you ever say something like that again I just might.” He turned around to hand Richie the body wash, tilting his head at him like a confused little puppy. “But it was really okay? You didn’t feel uncomfortable right?”

“No sweetheart.” Richie smiled down at him, running a large hand down his side to thumb at the finger marks still present on his skin. “I loved it. I love everything I do with you.”

“Me too.” Eddie sighed, relieved at the reassurance. 

After their shower, Richie got back to work with a promise to take small breaks, and Eddie had more wrapping to do. The both of them needed to send out their gifts to the Losers if they wanted it all to get to everyone on time, seeing as Christmas was practically already upon them. 

Richie hated that he had to abide by Eddie’s stupid one gift rule, so he splurged on buying things for his friends. It was the first time in a while that he had real friends to celebrate the holidays with, even if they were all in different places. Despite all of their complaints, he was going to shower them all with gifts and there was nothing that they could do about it.

Once it was all said and done, he focused most of his attention on Eddie. Like always.

He was determined to give him the best Christmas ever, whether it was between teaching him some stupid Hannukah tradition or making more cookies, or hanging more decorations, or going to The Grove at night just to admire the lights. He took breaks from working on his material more often, especially when Eddie would insist that they watch a holidays movie. And no, not Die Hard again, even when Richie begged him.

They ended up watching A Christmas Story, a perfect little end to Christmas Eve. They both worked together to create somewhat of a Christmas Eve dinner, some tilapia and potato salad with yellow rice and sausage. It was an interesting mix, and was a lot of work to pull off just for one dinner, but Eddie took the excuse to try the coconut cream pie recipe that Maggie had shared with him. Richie would’ve been happy to just order food but he was even happier to slave away in the kitchen just to see the little excited expression on his love’s face when the pie slid nicely out of the fridge, ready to be eaten. Richie knew he was in a good mood, because he even gave in when he’d asked if they could eat on the couch when they watched the movie.

“Wait really? Wow, is it Christmas already?”

“Almost.” Eddie laughed, plopping next to him on the couch. “Want anything special for breakfast tomorrow?”

“I should be asking you that, my little elf.” Richie wrapped an arm around him loosely, planting a kiss to his temple. He grinned smugly at the way his nose wrinkled as he shoved him away.

“Never call me that again.” 

“Fine. Do I want anything for breakfast tomorrow? Hmm.” He pretended to think really hard about it before swiveling his head to smirk at him. “You.”

“You’re gross.” Eddie snickered, despite the light blush rising on his cheeks. “Forget it, I was maybe thinking about surprising you with breakfast in bed even though you eat like a four year old. I still don’t understand how you can still be this messy.”

“First of all, it’s not really that big of a surprise if you ask me what I want to eat-”

“Fuck off.”

“-Second of all, you love this mess.” Richie finished, nuzzling into his neck a little bit. It was already late, and he’d promised Eddie he’d be up before noon. “C’mon, you looovveee me.”

“I know, there’s something wrong with me.” He sighed contently, wrapping his arms around Richie’s neck. “Hey, let’s go to bed before you pass out on the couch.” He rubbed a gentle hand down his back, the ring around his finger smoothing out the wrinkles in the shirt. “Rich.” He said quietly, forcing a low hum out of him. “Baby, go to the room. I’ll put the stuff in the dishwasher and I’ll be right there. Kay?”

Richie was moving before he even finished the sentence. Eddie could get anything from Richie, that was always very well known. But when he used pet names, especially outside of the confines of their sex life, Richie was done for. He’d been using them more often, and it never failed to give Richie a massive heart boner. Just like he said, it didn’t take long for Eddie to join him slipping into bed just as Richie started to let sleep take over. “Eds.” He said quietly, already smirking lightly. “Merry Christmas.”

Eddie looked at the clock, seeing that it had officially struck midnight. He shook his head, huffing out a quiet laugh, not bothering to hide his smile since his eyes were still closed. “Merry Christmas Richie.”

They both woke up to the bright sun rays pouring through the blinds and into their room. Both were aware that it was Christmas, but it didn’t do anything to pull them out of bed. The magic of the holidays tends to die down as people age, and that included even Richie, who was still excited to exchange gifts and do all of the dumb Christmas bullshit that he’d always seen on the hallmark channel. It was why Eddie snorted as he unloaded the dishwasher and finally started preparing breakfast in the kitchen, hearing the familiar tune of jingle bells emitting from the new piano sitting in their living room.

He didn’t know whether to thank Richie’s parents or curse them.

_ “Dashing through the snow _

_ In a one horse open sleigh _

_ Over the fields we go _

_ Laughing all the way _

_ Bells on bobtail ring _

_ Making spirits bright _

_ What fun it is to laugh and sing _

_ A sleighing song tonight! _

_ Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells _

_ Jingle all the way _

_ Oh! what fun it is to ride _

_ In a one horse open sleigh, hey _

_ Jingle bells, jingle bells _

_ Jingle all the way _

_ Oh! what fun it is to ride _

_ In a one horse open sleigh!” _

“Beautiful Rich.” He chuckled from the kitchen, moving the pan over the open flame to make sure that their eggs cooked evenly. “Do you know any Hanukkah songs? Are those even a thing?” 

Richie’s eyebrows furrowed as he thought for a moment before a lightbulb clearly went off in his head. He cleared his throat, lightly ghosting his fingers over a few keys experimentally. 

_ “Put on your yarmulke _

_ Here comes Hanukkah _

_ So much funukkah _

_ To celebrate Hanukkah-” _

“NO.” Eddie glared at him before snickering lightly. “We are not going to play Adam Sandler’s Hanukkah song from SNL.”

“Oh c’mon it’s a classic!”

“No. Anything but that.” He turned back to his eggs before immediately regretting what he said, especially when he recognized the first notes. “Richie…”

_ “Eddie my love, I love you so _

_ How I've waited for you you'll never know _

_ Please Eddie, don't make me wait too long.” _

Eddie couldn’t help but keep his eyes glued to him as he sang, his voice a rough velvet that wove nicely through each ping of the piano. It was hard to split his attention between Richie’s eyes, light and loving, and the breakfast he was making. This was different from his drunken stupor from the bar in Hawaii. He wasn’t joking, despite the soft little smile barely visible through the movements of his mouth.

_ “Eddie please write me one line _

_ Tell me your love is still only mine _

_ Please Eddie don't make me wait too long _

_ You left me last September to return to me before long _

_ But all I do is cry myself to sleep, Eddie since you've been gone _

_ Eddie my love I'm sick in bed _

_ The very next day might be my last” _

Eddie opened his mouth and closed it, shutting the stove so he could lean against the counter and continue watching him. Richie’s eyes were still glued on him except for the few times his eyes would flicker down to his own hands, skimming across the keys lightly as he finished.

_ “Please Eddie don't make me wait too long _

_ Please Eddie don't make me wait too long.” _

He tapped a few extra keys before dropping his hands and smiling brightly into the kitchen. Neither of them said anything, eyes just glued together in silence. It lasted for at least a minute before Eddie finally cracked a smile, shaking his head at his ridiculous boyfriend before turning around to finish up breakfast. Richie took this as a win, and couldn’t help but break out into White Christmas and Winter Wonderland until Eddie told him to shut his jolly ass up and grab his plate.

“Wait, you’ll really let us eat in bed?” Richie gawked at him as Eddie placed the dishes in the dishwasher

“Yeah I wasn’t kidding about this being breakfast in bed dumbass. Just don’t make a mess.” 

“Wow look at you Eds. Is it Christmas already?”

“Okay, now it literally is.” Eddie huffed out a laugh. “Merry Christmas slash Hanukkah Rich.” He stood up on his tippy toes before entering the room so he could peck his lips lightly. 

“Chrismukkah.” He corrected, grinning at Eddie’s loud sigh. He returned another kiss, deeper this time once they slid into bed, careful not to knock the plates off either of their laps. They watched some of A Charlie Brown Christmas on Richie’s laptop as they ate, Richie’s hand occasionally ghosting over Eddie’s thigh gently. “Presents?” He asked as soon as he saw he was done. They were still waiting on the Loser’s presents to arrive, but at least they had each others'.

“Jesus, you’re like a little kid.” Eddie smirked, trying to hide his own excitement. “Fine.”

“Me first!” Richie sang, tossing his legs over the bed. Eddie put their plates on their end table and watched his boyfriend dig through the closet with purpose. 

“The closet, really?” Eddie scoffed with amusement. “Great hiding spot.”

“I knew you weren’t going to look for it.” Richie smirked over his shoulder, moving some hangers out of the way to reach the back of the closet. “Plus, the closet is appropriate for a raging homo like myself. Where did you even hide yours?”

“Not telling. Then you’ll know where to look next Christmas.” Eddie took a long sip of his coffee, knowing that his presents were safe in the cleaning closet where Richie would never have a reason to look. He’d moved them under the bed the day before so Richie wouldn’t catch him getting them. Richie’s gift, just like pretty much everything else about him, was large. Eddie watched him with wide eyes as he lugged his out of their closet. 

“Tada.” He sang with a wide grin, dumping it on the bed.

“You’re insane.” Eddie sighed, leaning over the bed to grab his much smaller gift from underneath. “If you went crazy…”

“You’ll do nothing, because it’s CHRISTMAS.” Richie stuck his tongue out, pushing the gift closer. “Open mine first.” He watched Eddie carefully as he dragged it into his lap, sitting criss cross on the bed facing Richie. His fingers worked quickly on the paper, and although he kept his jaw set in concentration, his eyes held the giddiness of a little kid. The first tear of the paper revealed the plastic covering, and Eddie paused to peak through it. Richie chuckled lightly at the way his brows furrowed as he continued to rip away pieces of wrapping paper.

With one last tear, he lifted the large plastic square from the bottom layer of paper and turned it to read the label. “You didn’t!”

“I did.” Richie smiled, watching him eagerly zip open the bed set. Eddie had become absolutely obsessed with Richie’s bamboo shirt ever since he’d worn it to bed one night, claiming  _ everything should be made out of bamboo.  _ So he figured he’d get him the whole shebang: sheets, pillowcases, comforter, and one other thing.

“What’s this?” Eddie tilted his head, pulling out a long, soft but firm blanket. “Throw blanket?”

“Close.” Richie snickered, reaching out to feel the material. “This was more of a custom item.” His lips curled into a devious grin as his voice dropped an octave lower. “It’s a sex blanket Eds.”

Eddie lowered the blanket into his lap and stared at him with wide eyes. “A what?”

“A sex blanket.” Richie repeated, relishing in how Eddie’s cheeks started to heat up with a pretty pink glow. “You know, so we don’t ruin these brand new sheets. Or have to do laundry every time we bang. We’ll put the blanket down so we don’t make a mess, and we can bring it with us to hotels and stuff so you don’t have to worry about getting all germy.” 

Eddie’s lips parted slightly as his eyes moved from Richie’s to the blanket in his hands. He didn’t know what he was expecting Richie to get him, and even though he had been talking a lot about bamboo, he didn’t expect him to get a bamboo sex blanket. He could already start to imagine how soft it would feel on his back, or on his elbows and knees… “Huh?” He asked quickly, realizing that Richie was talking to him.

“I asked if you liked it.” He laughed, reaching out again to run his fingers along the edges. “Where’d your mind go to huh? Already thinking about breaking this baby in?”

“Shut up.” He mumbled, shoving his gift into Richie’s hands. He quickly followed it with a sweet peck to the lips and a soft ‘thank you’ before watching Richie carefully pick at the paper. His gift was significantly smaller, a tiny box actually. Richie didn’t want to assume what it was, but the velvet little box gave him the idea.

“Eds.”

“Stop talking and open it!” His lips were pulled into a tight smile as he watched Richie flip open the box and carefully pull out the silver band inside of it. “This isn’t a proposal, don’t get the wrong idea.” He chuckled nervously at Richie's serious expression. “You got me a promise ring, I figured that I should return the favor. You’re it for me too Rich… Richie?”

Richie coughed out a laugh, trying to blink away the tears forming at the corner of his eyes. “I love it baby. Thank you.” His attempts were unsuccessful as a drop fell from his eyes and onto his cheek, and Eddie just had to kiss him. It was slow, deep, and Eddie took the moment of distraction to slip it onto his finger. When they pulled away, Richie examined the snug fit. “How’d you know what size to get?”

“I stole one of your other rings from your drawer.” He smiled smugly.

“Look at you.” He laughed, pulling him back towards him. He picked up the tiny piece of paper that came with the ring, folded neatly inside of the box. “Black Tourmaline has been used throughout history for protection. Ancient peoples saw it as a shield against negative spirits and destructive forces. Today, it reminds us to let go of our own negative thoughts and work to correct self-destructive patterns of behavior. A stone for attracting positive energy into our lives.”

“It matches the one you got me.” Eddie chimed in, lifting his hand beside Richie’s so that the rings were side by side. “I thought the whole background behind it was nice too.”

“God you’re fucking cute.” Richie beamed, wiping at his eyes. “Hey. I kind of have something else for you.” He leaned over the bed and quickly pulled another present out from underneath it. “Surprise!”

“You’re such an asshole.” Eddie rolled his eyes without any bite. “I knew you’d do this.” He sighed, leaning over his side and also pulling out another gift. “Happy Holidays you cheater.”

“You knew I wasn’t going to follow your silly one gift rule.” He leaned in to peck his lips and handed the gift over, grabbing Eddie’s in exchange. “This one is worth it though.”

Eddie still glared at him as he tore the wrapping paper, but Richie’s suggestive look intrigued him even more. When he finally got the remnants of paper off, he examined the sleek black box until his breath caught in his throat slightly. He turned it around in his hands, reading the back once, then twice. Then a third time before turning it over to look at it again.

“Like what you see?” Richie’s voice was rough, watching him fidget with the corners of the box. Eddie didn’t answer him, focused solely on opening the packaging and carefully taking out the baby blue plug. It wasn’t too heavy, and had a very soft silicone feel. It wasn’t too big either, but it had a slight curve to the tip that, according to the description on the box, was perfect for prostate stimulation. “Talk to me sweetheart.”

“Open your gift.” Eddie forced out, surprised by the roughness of his own voice. Richie quirked an eyebrow at him, but said nothing as he turned his attention to the box in his hands. It was a decent size, confusing him even more. But as he freed it from the wrapping, his mouth curled into a little smirk.

“Oh Eds, you dog.” He lifted it closer to him so that he could get a good look at each component of the bondage set. “Not that I’m not stoked about this, but why?”

“When we were at the hotel in Hawaii… you said you wanted to tie me down.”

Richie’s breathing hitched slightly. “Fuck yeah I do.”

“Then do it.”

“Like… right now?”

“Do you have any other plans?” Eddie folded his arms, eyeing the variety of new toys that they had to play with splayed out onto the bed. Richie huffed at the teasing, slowly standing up to rip the blanket off of the bed, nearly taking Eddie and the gifts with it. If it weren’t for inertia, their room would be a mess, but Richie tugged with enough force that everything stayed completely still, like a magic trick.

“Rich!” He scolded, crawling backward till he hit their backboard. 

“We’re gonna need space.” Richie explained, his voice noticeably more gruff. “As cute as your little Christmas pjs are, they need to come off.” He practically shredded the box that held the bondage set as Eddie quickly peeled his shirt off, both eager to get to what was going to happen next. “Lay back, just like that baby. We are going to make a mess of these sheets one last time.”

“Fantastic.” Eddie laughed, making Richie’s heartache in the best way possible. “I’m tired of doing laundry every time we have sex.”

“I thought you liked doing laundry.” Richie grinned, fumbling with the velvet ropes in his hands. He figured they’d play with something somewhat soft and comfortable. They could test out the handcuffs at another time. “Thought it was a kink for you.”

“Ah yes, my kink is cleaning up after you.”

“I knew it.” He dipped his head, catching Eddie’s lips in a gentle kiss as he tied the ropes to the top of the headboard like the instructions suggested. “Hands up.” He chuckled lightly when his heads all but flew to the headboard, tilting his chin up to silently ask for his lips again.

“Hey. We really should look into getting a pet.”

“Seriously?” Richie paused with Eddie’s wrist in his hand. “You’re agreeing to it  _ now? _ ”

“Consider it your third gift.”

“That’s sweet baby. Your gifts are the best.” He smiled, moving to pin one wrist to the backboard.

“Wait.” Eddie said suddenly, making Richie freeze completely. “Should we have a safe word or something?”

“Uh, yeah. How about the word  _ no _ .” Richie huffed. “I’d never do anything that you’d say no to.”

“I know.” Eddie hummed, moved by the thoughtfulness of that. “But we should have one just in case. I might tell you to stop but… not really mean it. You know?” He sighed at Richie’s slowly blinking eyes. “Ever heard of the traffic light system?”

“That’s super cliche Eds.” Richie snickered, but ultimately nodded. “Yeah I’ve heard of it.”

“Good, let’s use that.” He smiled. “As cliche as it might be. Green is all good, yellow is slow down, and red is full stop.”

“You got it Eds.” Richie tapped the edge of the board with enough force to jolt them both. “Hands up again.” The soft black bindings looked slick against Eddie’s wrist as Richie tied him based on the box it came in, the ‘beginners knot’. “Fuck you’re so hot.” He murmured, scooting back to admire his work, the way he looked shirtless and bound to their headboard. “Color?”

“Green.” Eddie bit down on his lip, giving an experimental tug on the ropes.

“Not too tight?”

_ “I said green, asshole.” _

Richie took that as the official go-ahead, slowly running his hands up his clothed legs until they reached the waistband. The one thing that he loved more than Eddie’s festive pajama pants was the fact that he almost always wore nothing underneath them. As he poked his fingers under the fabric, he felt goosebumps start to spread under each soft touch. They both locked eyes as he finally stripped the cloth from his tan legs, tossing them behind him so that he could focus his hands on the muscular thighs in front of him. He knew he was being a tease, confirmed by the way Eddie’s eyebrows furrowed and how his thighs twitched every time Richie’s hands would get dangerously close to his groin before gently scratching back down to his calves. 

“Rich.” It was breathless, so low that Richie thought he might’ve imagined it. He watched in amusement as he tugged against the restraints again, hovering over him just above his face, their noses almost brushing. He couldn’t help but indulge him with his cute little chin tilt, so he allowed a long period of kissing as he raked his hands up his body some more. In fact, he took the opportunity to catch Eddie off guard, gripping his semi hard member without warning. The surprised gasp made the hairs stand up on the back of Richie’s neck. 

He pumped him slowly, the other hand nestled in Eddie’s hair as he kept his head back on the pillow so he could keep exploring every inch of his mouth as their kisses got sloppy. He flicked his wrist after every few strokes, just like he knew he liked it, and it was pretty easy to get him achingly hard that way. He smirked smugly at the frustrated sigh leaving Eddie’s mouth when he backed away, straddling his thighs on his knees as he continued his slow, torturous strokes. “Stay still.” Richie hummed, forcing his hips down with one hand to stop his efforts to thrust up into his fist. He waited for his muscles to relax against the sheets before moving his hand in earnest.

“Fuck, Richie.” Eddie hissed, seemingly struggling to keep his hips from bucking off of the bed. “Close…” He panted, wrenching his eyes shut as his thighs twitched. “Uh, uh, fuck- yes…” His eyes flew open as the sensation of release was abruptly ripped away from him. “What the fuck?”

“Aw c’mon, you didn’t think it’d be that quick right?” Richie snickered at the angry glare he was thrown. “We’re just getting started, Eds.”

“But- But I…” Eddie writhed against the sheets. “I was so close.”

“Mm, maybe if you beg for it I’ll keep going.” He bit his lip at the way Eddie’s sharp jawline clenched. “Come on, you know how pretty I think it is when you beg.”

Just as he thought that he was going to crack, Eddie’s face twisted with annoyance. “Fuck you.” 

Richie tilted his head at him, eyebrows raising at his reluctance. Eddie let out a small yelp when his hand came down rather roughly on his thigh, rubbing it almost immediately after to soothe the sting. “You should probably be nicer to me considering the situation.” When he didn’t respond, Richie latched his mouth around a stiff nipple, relishing the keening whine that caught in Eddie’s throat. He ran his hands teasingly up and down his thighs again, nipping and sucking at his pecks. “Want me to mark you up sweetheart?”

Eddie nodded furiously, gritting his teeth when Richie raised an eyebrow at him. “Yes.” He spoke up, giving Richie what he wanted. “Please mark me up.”

“As you wish.” Richie beamed, leaving open mouthed kisses down his chest, pausing to suck harsh hickeys into the soft skin of his abdomen. If you’d asked Eddie before, he’d say that they were trashy. But now, they were making up for lost time. It was fine for them to mark each other up like horny teenagers. He shivered as Richie moved towards his thighs, nipping around where he was most sensitive. He regretted asking for it, Richie’s lips leaving scorching bites all around where he really wanted his mouth. Now at least he knew how to make that happen.

“R-Rich.” He stuttered out, licking his lips when Richie looked up to him. “Please, want your mouth.” He saw the hesitation, the debate, swimming around in Richie’s eyes.  _ “Please.” _ He breathed, biting down on his lip again for added effect.

Richie knew exactly what he was doing. He nodded slowly, deciding to give Eddie what he wanted, knowing that he was still in full control of what he had planned. It was part of what made the whole scenario so appealing to him, that Eddie trusted him to take control. Little control freak Eddie Kaspbrak trusted Richie Tozier to tie him up and tease him. 

The thought made him hyper-aware of how painfully hard he was in his own pants. 

But he chose to ignore it a little longer as he took Eddie’s leaking head into his mouth, eyes glued to him. Eddie’s reaction was to reach for Richie’s hair, but his wrists were caught by the rope, not allowing him to get very far. With a surrendering sigh, he dropped his arms and arched his back slightly so Richie could get the rest of him down his throat. 

“God Richie.” Eddie grunted, tossing his head back onto the pillow as his hips slowly inched up to chase the feeling of his mouth. 

Richie gripped his waist to pin him against the mattress. “What did I say about staying still baby?” He hummed, a thin trail of spit still connecting him to Eddie. “Want me to get the leg restraints?” He struggled to hide his smile at how violently he shook his head in response. “Then behave.” He chimed, sinking his mouth back down onto him, feeling the way his thighs shook under his palms. 

“Shit… your mouth… feels so good…” He hitched his arms forward in aggravation as Richie removed his mouth from him before he could tip over the edge, wiping away the spit from his lips. “No, no-”   
  


“Shh.” Richie shushed him, slipping two fingers into his mouth. “Don’t be a brat.” He took them out and moved them to rub around his nipples again, slick and calculated.

“I hate you.”

“Oh you do?” Richie chuckled. “Maybe I should gag you since you’re being so ungrateful.” He didn’t really mean it, but he didn’t miss the way that Eddie’s chest rose and fell quickly at the thought. “Oh you’d like that? Maybe if you’re nicer I’ll let you suck on my cock. That’ll give you something to shut you up, since you can be such a little cock slut. Why don’t you beg for it hmm?” The words surprised both of them, their dirty talk never reaching this level of… dirty.

Eddie was beat red as he tugged on the restraints. “Let me.” He groaned. “Please let me suck you off. I’ll be good- I promise.” Richie had to withhold shooting off in his pants at just how desperate he sounded. He slowly, teasingly, tore off the rest of his clothes so that he was also fully naked, sighing in relief as he pumped himself in his hand. He crawled up so that his knees were on each side of Eddie’s chest, right at the dip of his armpits.

“See?” He cooed, brushing away some of the hair that was sticking to Eddie’s flushed forehead. “That wasn’t so hard, was it?” He said, running his head over Eddie’s mouth, groaning at the precum that spread over his plump lips. He slowly entered the wet heat of his mouth, petting at his hair gently before pulling out, then pushing back in. “Gonna fuck your mouth.” He grunted, shivering at the feeling of Eddie’s tongue lapping at what he could reach. “Color?”

“Green.” Eddie heaved, breathing deeply through his nose as he sunk back into his mouth, pushing in deep enough to where he could feel him poking the back of his throat. He needed to breathe, but Richie kept him there for a few more seconds with a firm hand, his throat constricting around him when threatened with gagging.

“Fuck angel.” Richie moaned loudly, filling him with a sense of pride. “That feels fucking good.” He repeated the process a few more times before yanking him off by his hair. “Enough. Don’t wanna cum yet.” He growled sliding back down his body.

“Kiss me Richie.” Eddie murmured breathlessly. He didn’t even need to say please for Richie to surge towards his mouth, teeth nearly clattering together as they let their tongues dance. It was like that for a while, Richie calming down from his sensitivity before lining himself up with Eddie so that he could grip them both in one hand. “Oh my g… Richie… ah-”

“I’ve got you.” Richie whispered against his lips, pumping them both together, spit and precum making the glide easier. He let him buck up into his hand this time, seeing it fair since Richie was also fucking into his own hand, chasing the friction of both his palm and Eddie’s hard length. “God you’re gorgeous.” He muttered, moving his lips to his neck to nip and kiss there. 

“Love you.” He said softly, eyes fluttering shut at the prickling sensation building up. 

“I love you too baby.” Richie smiled, kissing his forehead as he sped up his hand. He knew Eddie was close, but he ultimately stopped to keep himself from tipping over the edge. “I know, I know.” He chuckled at the strangled groan from below him. “You’re doing so good.”

Eddie preened at the praise, but it didn’t stop the tears building at the corner of his eyes after being brought to the edge so many times. He watched Richie’s movements like a hawk as he leaned to grab the lube, forcing his legs up by his thighs so that his knees were bent and he could settle in between them. Eddie could hardly breathe properly watching him lather a few fingers, making sure to warm it up on his hands first before bringing his hand between his legs. “Green.” Eddie said quickly, before Richie could even ask.

So without a word, he pushed not one but two fingers into him, hushing his whimpers. He hunched over him, attaching his lips back to the juncture of his neck. As painfully hard as he always was at this point, opening him up was Richie’s favorite part. No distractions, just his one hundred percent focus on Eddie, on making him feel good. The more times they had sex, however, the faster Eddie wanted to go through it, not wanting to take his time. 

But Richie knew that no matter how many times they did it, Eddie wouldn’t be able to take him comfortably without being opened beforehand. Did that mean he needed to drag it out so long? No. But he liked watching him unravel underneath him, no stress apparent on his face, his body slack and relaxed. Two words that didn’t describe Eddie at any other time.

“Please Richie, c’mon… Fuck.” Richie ignored him, and he knew he was in trouble. He curled his fingers after stretching them out, humming out contently at the way Eddie yelped when he pressed right into his prostate. “Please, please, please.”

Finally, he broke his gaze from his fingers, looking into Eddie’s desperate eyes. “You can hold off one more time for me, can’t you Eds?”

Eddie twitched beneath him, a mix between nodding and shaking his head, like he was deeply conflicted. He jolted when he did it again, biting his lip so hard that he was sure he was going to draw blood, but it didn’t matter when he was so close. It was almost impossible to enjoy the stimulation with the knowledge that Richie was going to edge him, but not let him finish.  _ “Richie.” _ He cried quietly, thighs quivering as he pulled away suddenly, a tear slipping down his face. “Please, I’ll beg, I’ll beg if you want. Please I can’t… I can’t keep doing this. Please, need you, please-”

“God you’re perfect. So fucking good.” Richie grunted, lathering himself up and settling between his legs carefully and shoving one of their pillows under his hips. “I’ve got you, I’ll give you what you want. Color?”

“Green, green, please God…  _ Ahh- _ ” His entire body went limp as Richie pushed into him carefully, both of them panting heavily at the pressure. After such a long buildup, Eddie wasn’t sure if he could handle his size. But as always, the feeling of being so full was just as comforting as it was trilling.

“There you go sweetheart.” Richie purred, rolling his lips lightly just to rouse him. “Fuck you feel good. So good. Take it baby.” He’d forgotten how turned on he was prior to finally getting into him, and he was almost dizzy with the feeling of the tight heat around him. Eddie was still softly begging underneath him, a few more tears leaking from the corners of his eyes, desperate for something.  _ Anything. _

Richie pulled back slowly, one more good tease, before snapping his hips back forward. Only spurred on by Eddie’s sobs, he set a quick pace, just as needy. His chest felt tight at the sight of Eddie fighting against the ropes, his jaw slack as small little  _ uh uh uhs _ spilled from his mouth. 

“Close Rich… please don’t stop. Please, I need-”

“I promise I won’t, you can cum whenever you want babyboy. You’re amazing, so gorgeous like this. I’m close too, shit.”

“Mmph, I’m gonna cum.” Eddie heaved, twisting around in the sheets. “Need you to touch me.”

“I don’t think you do sweetheart.” Richie tsked, gripping his sides as he continued to fuck into him. “You can do it. Come on, you’ve got it.”

Eddie just dropped his head back against the pillow again, totally helpless as he tried to piston himself back onto him, trying to get impossibly close even as his prostate was nailed head on. Richie watched him carefully, how his face scrunched up and eyes screwed shut, body stuttering a few times before he emptied all over his chest. The force of it was so powerful that it went up his neck and high enough that it got caught in some of Richie’s chest hairs. He kept watching him as he railed into him, mesmerized by how much release was coming out of his small body. 

_ “Too much… Yellow, yellow. Richie, yellow.” _ Breathless and trembling, the words were enough to snap Richie out of it, halting his movements. “Yellow doesn’t mean completely stop… dumbass.” He laughed deliriously, vision blurry and chest heaving as he convulsed under him.

“Sorry.” Richie chuckled huskily, drying the tears from his face so he could lean in to kiss him deeply, resuming the deep role of his hips. Eddie let out a small strangled noise, especially when Richie darted his tongue out to taste him on his neck. He dragged in and out of him carefully, trying his best not to buck into his prostate. He could tell he was overstimulated already, still leaking slightly from his tip like he couldn’t come down. “You’re still going Eds, look at you. So hot… wanna cum on you.”   
  


“My face.” Eddie said, barely audible, trying to arch his back for more skin contact. He watched Richie through lidded eyes as he pulled out enthusiastically, clambering up his torso so that he could pump himself in front of his face. His attempts at moving were thwarted by one of Richie’s big hands in his hair, gripping tightly as he held him still. His breathing picked up and he could feel the burning heat filling his stomach, quickly moving his hand to chase the feeling. He hovered over Eddie, face flushed red and sweaty, his hair slick and nearly dripping, his glasses almost falling from his nose. “You’re so beautiful Richie.” He told him, trying to adjust his eyes through the glossiness. 

Richie shot him a quick smile before clenching his jaw as he came onto his face in thick ropes, muttering several curses and pet names, working himself through it with his hand still tight in the soft brown hair. He didn’t move it until he finished, pushing his glasses back onto his face so he could properly admire how ruined Eddie looked. “Fuck, this is going right into the Kaspbrak spank bank.”

Eddie just huffed in amusement, too spent to say anything else. He closed his eyes so nothing got in them, letting them flutter shut as he focused on evening his breathing. After his hands dropped back onto the bed, the rope gone, he felt Richie move off of it and rustle around the bathroom, but wasn’t sure how long he was left lying there. He didn’t even attempt to move as Richie cleaned him off with a damp rag. “Eds.” He heard quietly after some time. “Eddie, you with me?”

“Mhm.” 

“You sure babe?” He asked again. “Here, drink. Then we’ll take a bath. Get you all cleaned up.”

Eddie opened his eyes very slowly, squinting to avoid the harsh light above him. “Water?”

“Juice, you need some sugar.” Richie offered him the cup, helping him bring it to his lips so that his shaky hands wouldn’t be doing too much. “Shower or bath?” Eddie just grumbled, turning over as best as he could to block the light out. Richie rubbed his back softly, slightly irritated by rolling around in the sheets. “Okay sleepy, I’m gonna run a bath okay?”

He wasn’t sure how long it took for the tub to fill up with the warm water, but by the time Richie lit some small candles for light, Eddie was passed out on their bed, breathing softly into the pillow. He woke him gently, not wanting the water to get too cold before they even had a chance to get in it. He had to support his weight to the bathroom, not that he weighed much, and gently helped him into the tub before sliding in behind him. He needed to bend his knees to fit snugly against his back, ignoring the chill of the air prickling the skin there. It wasn’t hard with him running his hands over Eddie’s torso with the sudsy water. “Thank you.” Eddie hummed, resting his head back onto Richie’s shoulder. 

“How do you feel?”

He felt the rumbling of a laugh through his body before he even spoke. “I feel bad that no one else will get to have sex with Richie Tozier.”

Richie grinned into his hair, continuing to lather him up, leaving a few kisses here and there. As if he would even think about anyone else ever again, Edward Frank Kaspbrak owned his heart and soul. They both sat in the water, pressed together until it got cold. Richie was surprised that Eddie not once complained about “sitting in their own filth”, like he always scowled, but they showered down quickly anyway before toweling off. After brushing their teeth, Eddie watched him calmly while sipping more juice as Richie replaced their sheets with the brand new bamboo ones. He slowly picked up the opened box with the plug still in it, holding it up so Richie could see. “We didn’t use it.”

“You want it now?” Richie snorted. “Aren’t you tired?”

“What, can’t keep up old man?”

“You’re insatiable Eds.”

“So is that a no?”

Richie tucked the last corner of their sheets and turned to him with an incredulous look on his face. “Do I ever say no to you?” Eddie padded over to him with an eye roll, handing him the box and sitting on the bed after shedding off his robe. “You sure about this?”

“I can handle it.” Eddie huffed, resting his cheek on their pillow. “I still need a nap after.”

“Then can we watch all three Grinch movies?” He smirked, sliding across the soft sheets to hover over him, laying himself gingerly across his back to hold him tightly. “Maybe I’ll serenade you with some more Christmas Carols.”

“Let me get drunk on eggnog first.” Eddie snorted, lifting his hips off of the bed to silently tell him he was ready. His body was still lax from coming down from so much stimulation and a warm bath. The cool air of their room cooled off his hot skin as Richie applied a small amount of lube to the plug before moving behind him. He didn’t need any preparation, in fact, he sucked it in desperately, grunting as it filled him up slowly. It was nowhere near as big as Richie, but it still curved just at the right spot, and if Eddie really shifted right, there it was.

He sucked in a breath, wiggling his hips to test out the stimulation. Richie caressed his back soothingly, letting him adjust to the object keeping him full. “Feel good?”

Eddie nodded, relaxing around it and sighing at the feeling. “So nap?”

“Yeah baby, we can nap.” He chuckled, curling up under their new blanket in just his boxers. “Merry Christmas Eds.”

“Chrismukkah.” Eddie purred, scooting closer to him, inhaling in the scent of Richie. “Love you.”

“I love you too.”

Christmas went as quickly as it came, and both men refused to take down their decorations just yet. The day was perfect, laid back yet exciting. Both were incredibly satisfied with their first Chrismukkah together. So they kept the Christmas tree and Menorah up a little longer.

Richie was invited to a small party by his team for New Years, and while he didn’t really want to go, Eddie surprisingly pushed for it. They were both a little traumatized by the last time they’d been to a Hollywood party, but this one was really just his team. Only people that Richie was familiar with and liked on a personal level. But this time, he wasn’t worried about hiding his love for Eddie.

“I’m not wearing the plug while we’re out in public, fuck off.” 

“Fine Eds. We can get you a vibrating one instead.” Richie snickered, shrugging on his dark blue blazer. “With a little remote so I can control it. Maybe you won’t be such a little brat.”

“You’re the brat.” Eddie huffed, toying with his hair until it was neat. To his satisfaction, Richie was also taming his hair so it didn’t look like they just rolled out of bed. The blazer hugged his shoulders snugly, and the black v-neck that drove Eddie crazy was tight fitting against his chest.

“You look cute.” Richie wrapped his arms around him so that they were both staring at the mirror as Eddie fixed his collared shirt. He kissed his neck, sensually at first, before blowing a raspberry in the corner of his jawline.

Eddie shoved him off with a surprised noise, trying not to smile at the ticklish feeling. “Asshole. Cute is not really what I was going for.”

“Then stop being so fucking cute.” Richie leaned against the door frame as Eddie glanced over himself one more time in their full length mirror. Truthfully, he was more than cute. Richie couldn’t deny that even in his cute black polo and navy suede pants, he looked handsome. His jawline was sharp and his hair was gelled immaculately, and Richie knew he’d kick his ass if he messed it up. No matter how many times he called him  _ cute cute cute, _ the undeniable truth was that Eddie was a full grown man now, not a little boy. His polo did nothing to hide how great in shape he was, and his arm muscles popped through the thin fabric.

Richie waited by the front door for him so he didn’t drool all over their room.

The party, as Steve promised, wasn’t big. As Richie led Eddie through the house, he spotted Megan, Anthony, and Steve sitting around a table in the backyard. It was Dorthea’s house, one of Richie’s agents, an older woman who reminded him a lot of Beverly. Kind, but fierce. 

He dropped his arm from Eddie’s shoulders to greet the most important members of his team, accepting a kiss on the cheek from Dorthea and Megan, a bear hug from Anthony, and a less than reluctant hug from Steve. “Stevey boy, how are you?”

“It’s too late for your nicknames.” He laughed lightly. “No antics tonight. I promised Dorthea.”

“We already had a long talk about it.” Eddie crossed his arms, narrowing his eyes at Richie.

“Yep, he made me sign a contract in blood.” Richie wrapped his arm back around him, feeling the way Eddie was less tense when he was near him.

“You’re not supposed to sign any contracts without consulting your team.” Anthony pointed out, handing him a beer. “Drink Eddie?”

“Oh, sure.” He nodded, accepting a Sam Adams from him. “Thanks.”

“How the hell do you deal with him without getting paid.” Megan asked him, elbowing Richie lightly. “He talks about you so much I feel like  _ I’m _ the one dating you.”

Eddie reddened at that, grateful for Richie’s big mouth. “You wish Megs, Eddie’s mine.” He sipped his beer loudly, pointing at her to change the subject. “So how’s big Don?”

“Still married, Rich.” She laughed, flashing her ring.

“Buddy must’ve gotten a pretty big token of appreciation for that rock.” Richie winked suggestively, and Eddie elbowed him in the ribs lightly, less grateful for his big mouth. Dorthea ended up pulling him away from the small group to discuss the show in Seattle, leaving Eddie with the others. 

“We’re glad we didn’t scare you off last time.” Steve snorted, gesturing to the chair next to him. “Have a seat.” Eddie shuffled around the others to get to the open seat. 

“It wasn’t your fault.” He said matter of factly, sipping a bit of his cold beer.

“So we’re all good?” Steve asked. Eddie nodded, and they both clinked beers. Megan and Anthony left as well, splitting off to chat with some of the other people at the party, which was more like a get-together to celebrate the New Year. Richie followed their lead, catching up with people that Eddie had never seen before, which made him a little nervous.

“That’s our editor and producer.” Steve assured him, almost like he could read his mind. “They are a Godsend. Your boyfriend can be a fucking moron.”

Part of Eddie wanted to scold him for calling him that, only he was allowed to call him names. But he saw the slight smile on his face and knew that it was also from a good place. “He can be.” He laughed. “But he’s also really smart-”

“-too smart for his own good.” They both said at the same time. They shot each other funny looks before returning their attention back to Richie, who was looking over at them now. He looked between them, and seeing that they were getting along, he smiled wide. 

“Have you read the script?”

Eddie was caught off guard by the question, raising an eyebrow at him. “The Netflix one? Only bits and pieces, if he’s testing out a line or something. Why?” He searched his face, biting his lip. “Is he not supposed to? Is that breaking some sort of contract? Nevermind, I’ve seen nothing-”

“You’re fine.” Steve chuckled, clasping a hand onto his shoulder. “I was just wondering. It’s pretty good, some of his best material I think. Funny, and kind of deep.”

“Please tell me I’m not in it.” Eddie joked, dropping his smirk when Steve said nothing. “Am I in it? I swear to God if he jokes about the bedroom…”

“I’m not one for spoilers.” Stever snickered, shrugging. “Don’t worry, he knows what he’s doing.” Eddie wanted to ask him what the hell that was supposed to mean, but Richie sat down across from them without any grace, almost falling backward. 

“What are you boys gossiping about?” He drawled with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

“Once again, it is too late to put up with your accents.” Steve sighed, standing up. “I’m gonna avoid you now, I’m not being paid for this. Eddie, nice chatting as always.” He gripped his hand in a solid shake, winking at him coyly. 

“If someone winks at you again I’ll fight them.” Richie said once he left. Then his eyes shot wide and he shook his head. “No, I didn’t mean that. Like not really fight, no fighting. I won’t.”   
  


“Relax.” Eddie reached out for his hand across the table. “I know what you meant.”

Richie swallowed, and with a deep breath to control his heartbeat, he squeezed his hand back. Some people came and went, introducing themselves to Eddie and small talking with Richie. It was already late when they arrived, both men thankful that they took a brief nap before showing up. There was a projector that had the countdown playing on a screen under the night sky, and it was only a matter of time before the year would come to an end. A year of suffering, pain, relief and happiness all in one. It was the best and worst year of both of their lives. 

“Is this your first West Coast New Years?” Richie asked him, taking Steve’s seat so that they were seated next to each other. 

Eddie nodded, leaning his head onto his shoulder. “It’s kind of weird not having the ball drop at the same time as the one in New York. But it’s so much warmer here, I like being outside under the stars.”

“Are you happy?” Richie asked quietly, looking down into his eyes.  _ That’s all I want, is just for you to be happy. Always. _

“Yeah Rich. I’m really happy.”

Richie’s heart fluttered, and he pressed a chaste kiss onto his head, careful to not mess up his hair. They were both happy, finally, after so long. Dorethea called everyone over to the long snack table for champagne, as the time was finally arriving to say goodbye to the year. With everyone’s glasses filled, the group gathered in front of the large screen for the count down. 

“This year’s gonna be good Eds.” Richie whispered into his ear. Eddie was starting his new job, Ben and Bev were getting married, and Richie had his Netflix special right around the corner.

“I think so too.” Was all he could get out in response before the countdown to midnight began, the backyard filling with volume as everyone started counting. 

_ “10, 9, 8…” _

Eddie couldn’t help but laugh at Richie’s enthusiastic, and loud, counting. He wrapped an arm around his waist tightly, pulling closer as Richie’s arm swung around his shoulders, the other holding his Champagne. Eddie looked up at him, and Richie looked back down at him softly. 

_ “7,6,5…” _

“Thanks for coming with me Eds.” He said over the chanting. “It’s been a long time since I enjoyed the beginning of a new year.”  _ The first time in a while I’ve wanted to live another year. _

_ “4,3,2…” _

“Me too.”  _ Whatever the new year brings, we’ll get through it together. _

_ “1… HAPPY NEW YEAR!” _

Without even thinking, he reached up for his face. He felt ridiculous having to stand on his tippy toes to connect their lips, but with Richie’s arms wrapped around him and his lips on his, everything else blurred out. It took them longer to break apart than it should’ve for a New Years kiss, but neither of them really noticed until Richie’s team was clearing their throats. “Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” Richie huffed. “You fucking cock blocks.”

“No fucking in my backyard!” Dorthea yelled over the noises of celebration from the rest of the party goers, and Eddie, out of sheer embarrassment, covered his face as best as he could with his glass still in his hand. 

Steve rolled his eyes and pouted with sympathy for Eddie. “Would you actually like a picture you creep?” Richie nodded quickly and practically threw his phone at him, turning to Eddie to remove his hands from his face. 

“Hey, I love you.”

“I love you too.” Eddie leaned into his hand with a tiny scowl. “But if you mention cock one more time in public, I’m never going out with you ever again. Even though you’re hot.”

That had Richie laughing hysterically, and it made Eddie feel all warm inside. Just two idiots, stupidly in love. Confetti was still raining down on them as their lips locked again, and they didn’t break apart until several flashes went off from Richie’s phone. He posted the photos on Twitter, including the one Steve captured with Eddie’s little scowl.

**TRASHMOUTH** ✓

_ [@RichieTozier] _

_ “Just had my first New Years kiss. Well, real New Years kiss. Kissing my friend’s moms doesn’t count ;) Don’t give up on true love kids, even if it takes a couple of decades.” _

|

**@BevMarsh** ✓

_ “Call us when you and Eddie are done slobbering all over each other. Happy NY Losers!” _

_ @RichieTozier @BenHandscom @BillDenbourough @MikeHanlon #EddiePleaseJoinTwitter _

The photos were trending within minutes of posting them. So was #Reddie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I hope you are all staying safe and healthy!  
> I live in the U.S, which is pretty much the disappointment of the world atm, so I've been busy with all that plus University stuff.
> 
> Thank you for all being patient and I hope you enjoy! I don't plan to stop writing if people keep reading (:  
> Enjoy! Kudos and comments are always appreciated <3


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was still RichieandEddie, inseparable as always, and it didn’t interrupt the group dynamic one bit. If anything, they were more normal than ever.
> 
> If only Stan was there to experience it too.  
> ______________
> 
> Disneyworld, Big Bill's Birthday, Movie Premiere, and Therapy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Talk of death and therapy  
> Angsty chapter af ft the other Losers

“I can’t believe Mike beat you to making a Twitter.”

“Well I was under the impression that it’s not an app for anyone over sixteen. Unless you’re a celebrity or something.” Eddie rolled his eyes as he filled in some of the information. “I’m surprised no one else on here is named Eddie Kaspbrak.”

“You’re one of a kind.” Richie winked, looking up at him with his head on his lap, arm dangling off of their couch. “What’s your profile pic gonna be?”

“Um, not sure.” Eddie bit the inside of his cheek as he scrolled through his photos, not seeing many good options. He was never one to like having his picture taken, and he certainly never took pictures of himself. He managed to find an older photo of him in a suit which he used to use for LinkedIn, but it didn’t feel right. “I don’t have any good ones.”

“Hm. Here, I’ll send you some.” Richie took out his own phone and started texting him various photos. “Is it creepy that I have more photos of you than  _ you _ have photos of you?”

Eddie shook his head as he opened them, scrolling through each one. Most of them had Richie in it, a selfie of them at the beach, a photo of them kissing under the Mistletoe on Thanksgiving, and more recently, the one of them kissing on New Years. There were even a few of him doing things like cooking breakfast in his boxers, and even of him sleeping in one morning. “I take it back, you are a creep.”

“Hey, in my defense you always look good. I can’t help but capture every moment.”

“Yeah yeah.” He laughed, clicking on the selfie of them at the beach again. “Half of your head is gonna get cut out of this picture, but it’s the best one I think. I miss Hawaii.”

“We’ll go back again sometime.” He promised. Eddie tweaked the rest of his profile before it was official, Eddie Kaspbrak was now on Twitter. He did the obvious, following all of the Losers quickly before posting his first official tweet. Richie’s phone pinged at both notifications, opening up the app to follow him back.

He clicked on his first tweet, which he was mentioned in, and threw his head back with a loud laugh. “Wow, you’ve already embraced the Twitter spirit.”

**@EddieKaspbrak**

_ @RichieTozier  _ isn’t funny.

Eddie bit his lip to contain his smile, the familiar blush creeping onto his face whenever Richie would laugh like that. It was beautiful to watch even, the way his curls would fly back with his head, and the corners of his eyes would crinkle behind his thick glasses. He was still giggling slightly as he liked and retweeted it, so happy that Eddie couldn’t even be anxious about the attention he was sure to receive. And oh boy, that was an understatement. 

Soon there were already fan pages after Eddie’s tweet, and Twitter had a field day after Richie posted the photo of the two of them kissing. So did various tabloids. The speculation was funny at times, but it became less of a laughing matter when Eddie received several phone calls and text messages regarding his “promiscuous sexuality” and high-risk life choices.

_ “Richie Tozier and Hot New Twunk Take Twitter by Storm.” _ Richie read one of the titles on the gossip website, snorting at Eddie’s hard eye roll. “I told you Eds, you’re a total twunk.”

“You know I hate that name.”

“Fine, how about this one.” He cleared his throat and lowered his voice almost like a radio announcer.  _ “Trashmouth’s New Sugar Baby? Or Wall Street Boyfriend? What We Know About Eddie Kaspbrak So Far.” _

“Oh my God.” He rubbed his hands over his face. “This isn’t funny anymore.”

“This is what you signed up for when you started dating me babe.”

Eddie crossed his arms and huffed. “I don’t remember signing a contract.”

“Putting my dick in your mouth pretty much sealed the deal-”

“Richie!” Eddie threw his hands up in the air and shook his head at him. “Jesus Christ man, this is my actual life! Not fucking Keeping Up With the Kaspbraks!” He didn’t want to make Richie think it was his fault, because he was right. Eddie did sign up for this. He knew that being with Richie Tozier, no matter how much he loved him, brought on plenty of challenges. One of them was the added pressure when dealing with Myra.

“So you and the comedian.” She asked him out of nowhere one evening while waiting for their lawyer to join the call. Eddie, despite how much he’d planned for the meeting, did not plan for  _ this _ conversation. 

“Um… I- we-”

“How long Eddie?” She asked, the calmness of her voice making him shiver. “How long have you liked men?” He didn’t answer her at first, mainly out of uncomfortability, but also because he didn’t know how to even begin. Where to start.

“I didn’t cheat on you.” He blurted, scolding himself immediately after. They’d agreed on a peaceful divorce with a mediator, with her taking the house and Eddie getting to avoid being bled dry. Cheating allegations and “proof” could ruin everything. Proof like him being seen with Richie in Derry. And even though he knew he was innocent, Eddie looked very guilty.

He crashed their car and flew out of state with hardly any notice, keeping Myra in the dark for weeks. And when he finally did reach her, he asked for a divorce. And he was now in a relationship with the very man he was in the hospital with. He looked guilty. And like an asshole.

He thought she would laugh at his response, laugh at how ridiculous he sounded. Maybe she’d even pity him, try to explain how he just couldn’t posssibly be a queer. He thought she would bring up the accusation and threaten to go through with it unless he crawled back to her.

But the strangest thing happened.

“I believe you.” She said without any vice or hesitation in her voice, and she didn’t bring it up again once the meeting got started. When Eddie got off the call his legs were jelly, and Richie had a hard time believing him when he told him what happened. 

“It’s not all bad.” Richie reminded him with a kiss to his temple. “People love you. Also, Keeping Up With the Kaspbraks? I’d watch the shit out of that.”

“Mm, fine.” Eddie smirked, leaning into him. “Maybe there are some good things about dealing with you.”

Richie pulled him even closer, rubbing his shoulder lovingly. “Soooo, you wanna go ‘sign another contract’ if you catch my drift?”

“I take it back.” Eddie laughed, shoving him away. “There’s nothing redeeming about you.”

“So is that a no?”

Eddie glared at him for as long as he could before cracking into a smile. He nodded towards their bedroom and watched in a mixture of adoration and amusement as Richie sprinted past him with the enthusiasm of a Golden Retriever.  _ Never a dull moment. _

Eddie was scheduled to start working a week or two into January, planning accordingly so he would have enough time to celebrate Bill’s birthday on the fourth without having to call out of work. The Losers decided that they’d make the trip to Florida to join Bill and Mike, planning for a night out on the town and a day dedicated to DisneyWorld. Between Richie and Eddie, they had a lot to do so they could only stay for half of the week, which was mirrored by Ben and Bev, who had a lot of errands for their upcoming wedding.

It didn’t change the fact that they all were antsy to leave the past behind them and celebrate a fresh new year. Celebrating Bill Denbrough was a good place to start. The flight for Ben and Beverly was only about three hours from Chicago, and almost five for Richie and Eddie from LA. The view on the plane wasn’t as peaceful and pretty as the one to Hawaii was, but both Richie and Eddie were able to nap.

Bill and Mike picked them all up at the airport in the afternoon, and they spent the first night there being shown around the town they lived in. Everyone was understandably exhausted, so they stayed in for dinner, ordering pizza and watching movies like they did when they were kids. It was like being back at the Denbrough house in Derry, everyone huddled in the living room, some of them on the couch and some on the floor. It was something they did even right before they left after high school, and it seemed as if nothing had changed since then.

Eddie curled up against Richie and remembered how he was ALWAYS invading his space while they were in Bill's house, parading as “friends” when there was obviously something more to it, even then. Winter’s in Derry were an even bigger incentive to sleep over, warm pizza, hot chocolate, and Richie and Eddie tangled together on the couch or floor, even as they slept.

As “friends”, though. Yeah, just friends. 

Eddie thought back to when they were kids and he’d started leaving the house despite his mother’s insistence that he was not allowed out so late. He was a growing boy, and after IT, he actually started to feel brave. He’d look her in the face and walk straight out the door to Richie’s truck, the one Wentworth passed down to him when he was eighteen. Those were the best times, the two of them speeding off towards Bill’s house with the heat blasting the cold away, or the AC pumping during their last summer together.

Richie thought he’d kiss him that summer, before they all left. But he opted to instead wait till they all came back for Spring Break. But they never did, and all was forgotten. Especially when Richie’s parents made the move to Bar Harbor, he didn’t even remember that Derry existed.

But all of that anger and regret flooded away when he blinked his eyes open in Bill and Mike’s spare bedroom and felt the warm air from Eddie’s mouth sweep over his neck. He was pressed close to him, still fast asleep, arms wrapped loosely around him like when they were kids. Innocent, sweet, kids. 

Richie didn’t wake him until he heard Bev’s voice echoing in the kitchen and Mike’s laughter, figuring that they were the only ones still in bed. “Eddie.” He hummed, rubbing his back gently to coax him from sleep. “Eds, c’mon. Disney time, we gotta get up.”

“What time is it?” He grumbled, clenching his eyes shut even tighter to avoid the light spilling in through the window.

“I think it’s like eight.”

“In the morning?!”

“No, at night.” Richie answered sarcastically, earning him another grumble. “I know we’re jet-lagged, but the park opens at nine and it’s over an hour drive. We need to get there before it gets packed.”

“Why are you being an adult all of a sudden?”

“One of us has to be an adult at all times. If we were both fools all the time then we wouldn’t survive.” He laughed, peppering kisses all over his face. “Up, up Eds. Up, c’mon, get up, up!”

“Jesus, okay!” He slotted his eyes open just barely to glare at him. “What happened to being the adult just now?”

“It’s your turn.” Richie booped his nose with a finger. “Being an adult is tiring for me, you know this. You’re much better at it.”

Eddie quickly resumed his position as the adult, pulling himself from bed despite his bodies’ protest and throwing on some clothes. Florida was hot like Hawaii, but it was much more humid. As soon as they stepped outside, Richie could feel his shirt cling to him, already sweating. He opted for putting his hair up in a bun, an easy feat with such long hair. He let it grow out much longer than usual, and Eddie certainly wasn’t complaining.

In fact, he denied every time Richie insisted that it was too long. And it was, it was starting to look messier than usual, and it made him extra sweaty when he’d leave the house for any reason. But he wasn’t going to bring it up now, especially with Eddie eyeing him hungrily when he fixed the bun to the top of his head. “Like what you see?” He winked at him, leaning in close enough that his seatbelt was starting to restrain him.

“Man bun suits you.” He replied lowly, leaning in too so that they were centimeters away.

“No messing around in the car.” Mike cleared his throat, eyeing them through the mirror. “If you ruin these seats I’ll kill you.”

“That’s not fair!” Richie shot back. “Ben and Bev have been touchy this whole time and you haven’t said anything to them. Really homophobic of you Mikey.”

“First of all, I too am in a relationship with a man.” He laughed, squeezing Bill’s hand which was draped over the center console. “Secondly, Ben and Beverly are innocently expressing their love. You two are eye fucking each other back there and it's making it hard to breathe in here.”

“Totally.” Beverly agreed, faking a wheeze for air as she twisted to smile at them in the back seat. “Can’t you guys wait till after Disney? Isn’t it, like, the most innocent place on earth?”

“No, n-no fucking in our house either.” Bill added.

“We weren’t going to.” Eddie insisted at the same time Richie said, “That’s fucking lame.” Eddie gave him a soft elbow to shut him up, which clearly never works. “So what? You guys would be fine with Ben and Bev getting down in your place?”

“Jesus guys, let’s change the subject.” Ben chuckled, sliding his arm around Beverly’s shoulder. “I’d like to enjoy Disney without you guys scarring a bunch of children.” Eddie agreed, and he was glad to move onto a conversation about whether water is wet, even if it got kind of heated.

They got to the park quicker than they expected, but it was still pretty crowded. Lines for rides and food were filled with giddy children and adults, and Eddie could somehow remember his dad way back in the day waiting on line to get him a pretzel. It was the only “vacation” he really had as a kid, but he couldn’t remember anything else besides how good it was to have the fattest, most buttery pretzel he’d ever had. 

“You want one?” Richie asked, watching him stare at the pretzel stand and the poor teenage girl working it. “I think if you look any longer you’ll start drooling, and she’ll probably call security.” He didn’t even wait for Eddie to answer before he and Bill were ordering two giant pretzels in the shape of Mickey Mouse’s head. “For you, my dear.”

Eddie grabbed it with shaking hands, anticipating the taste that he remembered so fondly. Richie watched him carefully as he covered part of the ear with mustard and sank his teeth into the dough. He chewed slowly, gathering every single flavor and widening his eyes a little more with each one.

“How is it?” Richie grinned.

“It’s good.” Eddie smiled, offering him a bite. Truth was, it tasted just like any other fat pretzel, but it was the memories that made it sweeter. Richie took a bite out of the other ear and hummed as he chewed it sloppily.

“Mm, tastes much better than the ones at Disneyland.”

  
“You’ll have to take me there sometime, it’s in California. Anaheim isn’t far from us.”

“Do you want to go just for the pretzels?”

“What? No!” Eddie laughed. “I mean, maybe if I was desperate for one shaped like Mickey.”

“Even then, I’d love to take you.” He assured him, pulling him closer so he could duck his head down. Then they were kissing. Kissing slowly, taking their time, in  _ public _ where anyone could see. Where anyone could take pictures, and the thought that they could show up in any tabloid magazine or article made Eddie’s knees go weak from the adrenaline racing through him. “It’s not as nice as this one though.” He added once they broke apart. “It’s kind of shit actually.”

“Somehow I don’t think I’ll care.”  _ It won’t be shit if you’re there. _

“What did we _ just  _ speak about in the car?” Mike laughed, an arm slung around Bill’s shoulders as the rest of the Losers smiled at them. 

“That was innocent!” Richie said defensively, flipping him off with the hand that wasn’t entangled in Eddie’s. They walked around after finishing their snacks. Bev had cotton candy, which she shared with Richie, and Ben and Mike ended up sharing some french fries and popcorn. It probably wasn’t a good idea to eat first, considering that they were eyeing some rides. But they hoped that enough walking would help them digest faster.

They started slow. 

They first hopped on a carousel with Disney characters, then took on the teacups (minimal spinning to avoid any catastrophes), and Richie eventually led them to some swings. They didn’t go very high or fast, but Eddie and Ben were slightly shaken afterward. Poor Ben was too self-conscious about his weight to even attempt to get on a ride when he was a kid, and Eddie was never allowed, or he was too scared of the risks. 

"You seem to know about places like this." Eddie said while taking a sip of water as he and Richie waited for the others to buy more bottles. 

"My mom used to visit the state fairs in Derry with me." Richie nodded, remembering the very few happy days from the town. "I ate bad hot dogs, ate candy until my stomach hurt and went on rides until I threw up."

"That sounds awful."

He shook his head eagerly and grinned. "It was the best! I’m gonna take my kids all the time.”

There it was. It was the first time that Richie had EVER mentioned having kids someday, and Eddie couldn’t stop the words from flying out of his mouth. “You’d be a great dad.”

Richie paused mid-drink, wondering if he’d heard him correctly. “You really think?”

“Yeah.” He said softly, scared that he’d messed up.

Richie laughed, tossing his head back as he thought about it. “I’d be crazy as a parent.”

“You’re already crazy.” Eddie reminded him, taking the bottle back.

"Wanna see how crazy I really am?" He asked and grinned, pointing to the roller coaster in front of them.

"You want to ride that thing?" Eddie asked in horror, hearing the screams in the distance.

"Oh, I’m  _ going _ to!" Richie wiggled his eyebrows. “You gonna come?” 

He could’ve easily said no and Richie would’ve respected that. But somehow he found himself waiting in line with the rest of them. He didn’t have much time to even chicken out, because pretty soon they found themselves at the front of the line with their fast passes that Richie insisted on buying everyone “in the spirit of Big Bill’s birthday”.

"Nervous?" Richie asked him, watching him vibrate beside him from fear.

"I don't like being trapped like this." He admitted, clutching at the safety bar. Richie chuckled a little and grabbed the second bar that covered his chest to pull it down, giving an experimental tug on his seatbelt.

"You know you’re safe right Eds?" 

"I know." He muttered, unconvincingly. Beverly tapped the back of Richie’s shoulder, holding up a peace sign next to her face. 

“We need to make funny faces for the picture.” She smirked.

“Wait there’s a picture?” 

“Yeah babe, so make it good.” Richie stuck his tongue out wildly for practice. After everyone was inside their seats and the silent click told them the bars were sealed, Richie turned back around to Ben, blowing him a kiss. "Hold on to your abs Benjamin.”

“Hold on to your glasses Trashmouth.” Bill warned him from in front of them.

Richie gripped Eddie’s hand tightly. “You’re not going anywhere, I’m right here.”

Eddie opened his mouth to snap at him about how that didn’t make him feel any better, but that would have been a lie. So he shut his mouth and squeezed his hand, and with a jerk the ride started, slowly pulling them around the bend of Big Thunder Mountain. 

Richie shifted in his seat out of excitement for the rush that would come. It had been a while since he’d been on a coaster, and he craved the adrenaline. Big Thunder Mountain didn’t have any crazy drops, but it was fast. And just thinking about being whipped around made his stomach twist with adrenaline.

  
  


When the first hump came, he threw his hands up, more adrenaline rushing through his whole body as he screamed in excitement, in unison with everyone else including Eddie next to him, as they sped along the track in their train cars, roaring with speed.

Richie felt amazing, the jolts pressing him into the bar and ripping the air out of his lungs, a feeling so unique that he almost thought he'd go insane and want it to last forever. After about five minutes of an awesome ride, the coaster slowed down and he felt a tickle in his stomach at the sudden loss of speed.

When the ride stopped completely and the bars opened, he got out with shaking legs, eyeing Eddie who looked completely shaken with his hair sticking up in every direction, his face slightly pale.

"You alright?" Richie asked with concern, making space for other adrenaline-junkies to enter their seats.  _ Fuck I broke him.  _ “Eddie?”

"That was... awesome." He responded, his voice shaking.

"You liked it?" Richie barked out a surprised laugh and ran his hands over his hair to make the mess a little more normal again. He beamed at the quick little nod he got in response. “Look at you, my little daredevil. You up for another one?”

“Can we please not do loops?” Eddie shivered at the thought, regaining the feeling in his legs.

They decided on Splash Mountain next, craving a much needed cooling after standing on line in the brutally hot sun. The ride was super slow, taking it’s time on the water as they all crammed into the log. There were a few dips that roused them, but they weren’t prepared when the final drop came and sent them plunging into the water, soaking them all. 

"I told you it would be amazing!" Beverly whistled and smiled. "Do you want to take something slower or walk around a little now?"

"Walk, please." Ben said and smiled suddenly. "We need to dry off."

They all agreed, continuing to walk around, exploring other parts of the park a little more while eyeing certain rides and activities to do when they were dry enough. They got a tiny bit wetter when they went on the Pirates of the Caribbean, but not enough to delay any more rides. Space Mountain took a while to get on, even with the fast passes, but everyone liked that one too. Mike in particular, relishing in the faux stars painting the room. The sun was already starting to go down, preparing for real stars, and not believing that they spent the entire day there, the group ran to see the last showing of “The Muppets Present...Great Moments in American History.”

“Your muppet impressions are disturbingly good.” Ben laughed as Richie mimicked every single one. “They could save a lot of money by casting you as all of them.”

“Maybe I’ll apply.” Richie winked. “Academy Awards nominations are coming soon, I’ll need to wow them with my performance.”

“You think you’ll be nominated for SNL?” Mike asked, dragging them towards the Haunted Mansion for one last ride of the day.

“I don’t know. Even if I was, SNL hosts rarely ever win.”

“Well you did land an interview on Late Night, so I’d say things are looking up.” Bev nudged him, smiling at him with proud eyes. “I think you’ll do great there too.”

“I guess so.” He shrugged. “Hopefully I won’t fuck it up.”

“Hey, if you don’t start taking yourself seriously I-I’ll punch you in the face.” Bill threatened. “Again.”

“Awe, Billiam.” He sniffled. “You know I never take myself seriously.”

There was so much that Eddie wanted to say. About how Richie  _ should _ take himself more seriously, and that he was already doing so by writing his own material. His Netflix Special was right around the corner and he wanted, he  _ needed _ Richie to see how amazing he was at what he did. How he deserved to get every single nomination he could. But before he could even process how strongly he felt, they were ushered into the Haunted Mansion.

The ride was fun, nice and slow, but entertaining. A perfect way to end off the night.

On their way to the exit, they passed a couple of games. Beverly came across a game called 'Test your strength' and encouraged Ben to try it with her. On the female scale she reached a pretty high score and handed the hammer to her fiance so he could try it too. After one swift hit they heard the bell ring and she jumped up excited.

"You got it babe!" She squealed and smiled. Ben smiled back, a little proud of himself even though he was a grown man playing a game meant for kids. Of course they all knew he would hit the bell, there was no way he couldn’t, but that didn’t stop everyone from cheering for him.

"Oh my god, look at that shit!" Richie suddenly gasped and pointed at the jackpot prize at a ring tossing booth they stopped at. It was a huge teddy bear, human-sized, completely white except the bright blue eyes, and looked extremely cuddly and fluffy. 

"You can win this bear easy peasy." The older gentleman behind the counter said and pointed at a target in the far back. "Just throw the ring around this and it's yours.”

"I'll try it." He smirked and gave him money to pay, taking the ten rings the man gave him and aimed for the jackpot target. He was close, very close, but the rings just wouldn't go around it. 

All ten throws were failures.

"Too bad." The man clicked. "Feel free to take one of the consolation prizes to your right."

Richie shook his head and held his hand out. "Another round!" He declared, but again, none of the rings would hit the target. "Oh come on!" He laughed, whistling as he bowed his head with a sigh. “Another!”

“Richie, I love you man, but please don’t spend ten grand on a ring game for a teddy bear.” Ben laughed, letting Beverly jump on his back so she could watch his next ten throws.

“I need it for my office!” Richie groaned after all ten missed again. “This game is rigged.”

“It’s a game at a theme park.” Mike snickered. “‘Rigged’ is literally in the description.”

“Richie, c’mon.” Eddie snorted in amusement. “It’s getting late, we should head home. How the hell would we even take that on a plane? These games are just luck.”

"I will give you a free throw, young man. Try your luck." The man said and held out a ring towards Eddie. He stared at it blankly for a moment, hesitating as everyone’s eyes fell on him, but he still took it and weighed it in his hands.

Richie watched him closely as he stepped beside him shyly, looking for the right angle to throw the one chance he’d been given. After he locked his eyes on the target, he aimed and threw, then closed his eyes and waited.

"We have a winner! Congratulations!" The booth's owner shouted in surprise. He was half expecting it to be Richie doing an impression to fool him into believing he won, but when he opened his eyes the ring was right around the target that said 'Jackpot' on it. The man took the huge teddy bear down from its place and put it on the counter as the other Losers cheered with equal surprise.

"Well done." The man said and winked. Eddie took the teddy, lifting it down and wrapping his arms around it happily like a little kid. It was as fluffy as it looked, and it was practically his size. After a moment of stroking it, he handed it to Richie, watching the way his face lit up. 

“For me?” He gasped and batted his eyelashes as he took the giant bear into his own arms. He leaned down to kiss him, hard, with a thank you. He sat the bear on top of his shoulders and gripped Eddie’s hand tightly. “Now look who’d be a great dad.”

Eddie opened his mouth to speculate on the comment like Richie had done before, but he was interrupted by a tap on his shoulder. “Eddie Kaspbrak?” He turned around to two teen girls and a boy, awkwardly waiting for him to notice them. “Oh my gosh, we thought it was you!” 

“Um…”

“Can we get a picture with you and Richie?” The other girl asked, holding up her camera shyly. “The bear can join if he wants.”

“I- uh… I mean- yes?”

The Losers all looked at each other in confusion as the girls huddled in between Richie and Eddie so the boy could take the photo. Then the boy requested a selfie with Richie and Bill. Still shellshocked, Eddie hardly heard the boy’s question. “So what’s it like to be dating Richie Tozier?” He repeated. “Are you guys like-”

Richie stepped in front of Eddie, holding his hand out for a shake and interrupting him. “Nice to meet you man, but we gotta head out.” He said blatantly, no room for budging. The boy backed off immediately and nodded. 

“I get it, yeah. Hey but thanks for the selfie, have a good one!”

“You too man, be safe.” He wrapped his arm around Eddie protectively and led him back to the amused group. 

“Did our Eddie get recognized by his first fan?” Bev teased, poking his side.

  
“Ew, don’t say it like that.” Eddie grimaced.

“I told you they love you.” Richie smiled, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “But hey, if they get out of line I will intervene. You don’t have anything to worry about.”

“Except maybe those people taking pictures of us from over there.” Ben pointed to a few people with cameras flashing at them, not being discreet at all.

“Let’s get the fuck out of here.” Bill tugged on Mike’s hand, making a break for the parking lot as the rest of them followed. Richie passed out in the car, laying out across the back row with his head in Eddie’s lap. The ride didn’t take long, but it was impossible to not drift off with Eddie’s fingers combing through his curls. 

When the Losers were kids, Richie was always petrified that his growing love for Eddie would ruin the dynamic of the group. Especially when they entered high school, and up until graduation, Richie got worse and worse at hiding it. What was once touching and bickering excused by being kids slowly became more flirty, more aggressive.

The pining grew with them over the years, so much so that Richie thought at times that maybe,  _ just maybe, _ Eddie felt the same way. But even so, Richie didn’t want things to become awkward in the friend group. And he absolutely couldn’t risk losing Eddie. 

But as Eddie nudged him awake when they got back to Bill and Mike’s place and wrapped his arm around his torso for support, Richie realized that nothing had changed. It was still RichieandEddie, inseparable as always, and it didn’t interrupt the group dynamic one bit. If anything, they were more normal than ever.

If only Stan was there to experience it too. Richie couldn’t think about it too long without breaking down. He had such a good day so he decided to stomach those thoughts as he followed Eddie back into the guest room they shared. 

“I’m beat.” Eddie yawned, neatly folding his socks on the dresser. “I’m probably going to take a quick shower before bed. I can still feel the ride water in my ears.”

“Mind if I join?”

Eddie eyed him suspiciously, squinting at him as he raised an accusing finger. “We are not having sex in our friends’ house, let alone in their shower.”

“Who said anything about sex!?” Richie laughed, stripping off his socks and tossing them at him. “Even though you literally seduced me in my parent’s house. I don’t really get why you’re drawing the line here.”

“Fuck off. Whatever, join me or not but no funny business.” He scowled at the discarded socks near his feet. “And pick up your shit. I’m not letting you tarnish my reputation of being a good guest.” It was true, Eddie had always been so well behaved at both Richie and Bill’s houses, an angel actually when he wasn’t about to fistfight Richie or cursing up a storm. 

And of course Richie didn’t want to ruin that, also having a bit of a good reputation of his own. That didn’t stop him from whispering in Eddie’s ear when he stepped behind him in the shower. “You like being a good boy don’t you Eds?”

Despite his best efforts, Eddie didn’t budge. Richie watched him from the bed as he neatly folded their clothes back into the suitcase, switching them for the clothes he planned on wearing for their last day there. “You know.” He smirked at his cute little boyfriend, eyebrows furrowed as he closed the suitcase carefully. “I bet we are actually the only people who didn’t have sex in this house these past couple of days.”

Eddie sighed as he zipped the remainder of the suitcase closed. “I’d rather not think about it.”

“They’ve all probably done it in the shower too-”

“Enough.” Eddie hissed, flicking the light off so Richie could barely see him. He climbed into the bed, just big enough to fit the both of them comfortably, but not nearly as spacious as Richie’s California king. Richie thought about thanking Bill and Mike actually, because less space meant that Eddie practically laid on top of him. “Turn over.”

Richie shifted onto his side so Eddie could spoon him from behind, nuzzling into his back and snaking his arms around his waist. Richie loved holding Eddie, but having Eddie curl around him like a koala was just as amazing. They fell asleep like that, Eddie flush against him with their legs intertwined in what should have been an uncomfortable position. But it worked for them.

They always found a way for things to work out for them.

For their last day in Florida, the group planned to have brunch together and go to the premiere of Bill’s new movie “The Black Rapids”. Notorious for the shitty ending of the book, Bill promised that the movie wouldn’t disappoint. Mike AND Audra supported Bill with anything that he needed on set, and it gave Eddie some hope that Myra and him didn’t have to be at each other's throats while they proceeded with the divorce. Maybe, just maybe they could be… chill?

“How’s everything been going Eddie?” Bev asked as they cooked, referring to the divorce process. The group had split into teams to get brunch ready before Bill’s premiere, and Eddie was relieved to be paired with Beverly. He didn’t get a lot of time to talk to her alone, which was a shame since they could relate on a lot of things, more than the others could ever truly understand. And she was the best. The only woman, besides maybe Maggie, that he ever loved.

“It’s not fun, but it hasn’t been going as bad as I expected.” He poured some more pancake batter onto the griddle. “Myra’s been surprisingly nice and like… calm. It’s a little unsettling.”

“Well get used to someone being unsettlingly nice to you.” She nodded over to Richie, who was nodding his head to the music while Bill helped him throw ingredients into the pan of eggs they were working on.

“I’m trying.” Eddie watched him carefully as he flipped the omelet with a cheer, giving a laughing Bill a high five. “Fucking weirdo.”

“He’s our weirdo.” Bev giggled, flipping the pancake so that it was a perfect golden brown. 

“My weirdo.” Eddie challenged, shooting her a fake glare. She puckered her lips to blow a kiss at him as he scooped another ladle of batter onto the griddle to fill the new empty spot. Ben and Mike were the first to finish their stack of french toast, which Richie insisted wasn’t fair since it required less prep time. Eddie had to interject to mention that eggs didn’t take as long to cook as pancakes, and eventually they both needed to be reminded that not everything was a race.

But they bickered all through breakfast just like they would have if they were kids. Again, it was clear how much nothing had changed. “Get a room.” Mike chuckled after they witnessed Eddie almost suffocate Richie with a pancake. 

“We  _ have _ a room here.” Richie muffled with his mouth full, licking the syrup from the corner of his mouth. “But Eddie wouldn’t let us fuck in it.”

“RICHIE.” Eddie stammered, slamming his fork down onto the table in embarrassment as the rest of them laughed. 

“Can’t relate.” Bev snorted, grinning evilly at the way Ben’s face darkened to a scarlet color. 

“Jesus Beverly…”

“I told you!” Richie pointed at Eddie, who was now hiding his face. “And Bill and Mike had for sure boned in this house. You made us the outliers here man. By the way Mikey… who’s top and who’s bottom, I’ve always wanted to know?”

Eddie would have smacked him if it weren’t for the amused looks on their faces as they looked at one another. “Uhhh, we switch off.” Bill shrugged, Mike nodding along.

“Good for you guys! We-” He was interrupted by the loud buzz in his pocket. He quickly looked at it and saw it was Eddie texting from right next to him. 

_ Eds <3: If you disclose anything about our sex life I will never let you near my ass or dick again I swear to God Richie. And stop prying you fucking creep. _

Richie locked it quickly and pulled Eddie close to him with an arm slung over his shoulder, planting a big kiss to the top of his head. “-We are really happy for you. Sucks that you guys live so far away.”

“Yeah, have you guys thought about moving?” Ben asked, happy to change the topic from sex. “Bev and I have been talking about it-”

“Moving?!” Richie blurted, nearly spraying coffee everywhere. “Where? Please tell me California, please! Please!”

“We’ve been doing more than talking about it.” Beverly laughed, smiling at her fiance as he rested his hand on her thigh. “We’ve actually been house hunting-”

“WHERE?!” Richie shouted again.

“L to the motherfucking A.” She beamed at him. “I miss my daily dose of Trashmouth.”

“Sorry to tell you, but I’ll be getting a muzzle for him by the time you find a place.” Eddie mumbled, folding his arms slowly. He was still embarrassed but that didn’t mean he wanted to do anything that would make Richie move his arm from around his shoulder.

“Kinky, but not surprised- Ouch!” He pouted, rubbing his side where Eddie elbowed him sharply. But he still didn’t move his arm.

“W-when are you guys thinking?” Bill asked, shaking his head at the two of them.

“Probably after the wedding.” Ben was also shaking his head at them. “God, I can’t believe it’s so soon.” He had a big grin on his face when Bev nuzzled into his shoulder so that he could wrap an arm around her. 

“A lot of planning?” Mike smiled.

“You have no idea.” Bev sighed, Ben nodding along. “I’m so excited.”

“I think we’re all excited.” Richie winked at her. “January 20th baby. Mark that down as the most anticipated day ever. I get to walk my sweet Bevvy down the aisle. I might shed a tear if I think about it too much.”

“Yeah yeah.” Bev rolled her eyes. “What about you, hotshot? Excited for your special?”

Richie almost completely forgot how close it was. He’d spent the majority of his time working on it, perfecting every joke and story since Netflix emailed. It would be his first show with his own material, and while of course he was excited and grateful for the opportunity, thinking about it made him want to hurl. “Me? A hotshot? You’ll be the hotshot around here once you start walking around LA with that hot piece of meat on your arm.”

“Don’t change the subject.” Mike, so intuitive, saw through his attempt to deflect right away.

“Fine, fine.” He sighed. “I’m excited. Just nervous, ya know?”

“You’ll d-do great.” Bill assured him, lifting his glass of orange juice.

“Just for you Billy boy, I’ll try my darndest.”

“I know you’re doing that thing where you make jokes to avoid praise, but we really are proud of you hun.” Beverly reached for his hand, giving it a quick squeeze. “Love you.”

Richie scanned everyone's face, nodding and smiling in agreement. “Thanks guys. Love you too.” He didn’t say much else, or even attempt to make a joke. Because yeah, his friends made him emotional. But looking at Eddie’s gentle smile and feeling him softly rub his palm over his thigh made his heart hurt even more.

Bill had told them that they didn’t need to dress up for his premiere, as it would only be a few film critics and some of the cast and crew in attendance. But Eddie made sure Richie packed something nice anyway. Not fancy per se, but at least so he’d look presentable. 

Eddie would never tell him, but he had no problem with the way that Richie dressed, not really. He’d poke fun at him for it, teasing his wacky button ups and ripped jeans, but he loved it about Richie. He wished he had the same amount of bravery when it came to fashion, bright neon colors and silly prints. But that was Richie’s style, not Eddie’s, even though he always stole Richie’s clothes to wear to bed. His t-shirts were big enough for him to swim in, and his boxers were soft and roomy. So sue him, he liked Richie’s stupid fashion choices, but he knew that they might not be suited for a movie premiere.

There were a decent amount of people there for Bill’s first film. Everyone got to meet Audra, who had seemingly no animosity towards Bill or Mike whatsoever, and she was very nice to the others as well. Not only was she kind, but she was also one hell of an actress.

“Bravo!” Richie clapped loudly when the end credit rolled, applauding Audra, who was sitting right next to him. “Amazing, beautiful, fantastic, wonderful!”

“Richie, she’s right next to you, you don’t have to scream!” Bev giggled, shooting somewhat of an apologetic smile to her.

“Thank you, thank you.” She laughed, bowing slightly just to Richie. The rest of the cast and crew celebrated while Bill talked to some of the critics. The same thought was running through all of the Losers’ heads:  _ That was really good. _

It was no secret that the book was good too, very well written and fascinating story… but the ending sucked. But the movie ending was different, everything that the book should've been. Bill regretted that he couldn't rewrite the book, but he could do justice with the movie, for his cast and crew. And do justice he did.

“That was amazing, so proud of you.” Mike ducked to peck his lips, rubbing his back with a delighted look in his eye.

“I’m proud of us. Y-you helped.” 

“Well done to the both of you. I thought it was great.” Ben hugged him tightly, smiling wide at his friend’s success. “Congrats, really.”

“Think it’s good enough for an aw-ward?” 

“If it doesn’t get nominated there’s been a mistake.” Eddie shook his head. “But don’t let that get to you. I think it’s a hit.”

“Thanks guys.” Bill never looked happier. “Oh and Richie? S-stop hitting on my ex-wife.”

“I’m not!” He laughed, holding his hands up defensively. “I’m just being nice!”

“Be less nice.” Mike snickered, combing back some of Bill’s hair with his large hand.

“I’m gay!”

“And taken.” Eddie added.

“Oo careful before you guys get my man possessive.” Richie warned them with wide eyes. “You wouldn’t like him when he’s possessive.”

“Eddie’s always been possessive of you.” Beverly chimed, biting her lip when he glared at her. “What? You totally were! Remember when you were talking to Sandy in sixth grade Rich? Eddie was totally jealous-”

“I was not!”

“You totally were!  _ ‘Bev do you think they’re dating? She definitely has a crush on him, it’s weird. She’d never be able to handle him.’ _ God, you obsessed over it until she started dating Bradley during the summer!”

“You think you’re the only one that can handle me huh Eds?” Richie smirked, sticking his tongue out. “You’re the only one I want to handle me anyways.” 

“Ha, very sweet.” Eddie said dryly, his face still red. “And fuck you Beverly.”

That proclamation quickly turned into a tight hug goodbye when both couples got to the airport from Bill and Mike’s house. It was always the worst part for both Richie and Eddie, saying goodbye. Even though things were going so well and they were all far from Derry, there was still the fear in the back of their minds telling them:  _ What if they forget? What if we forget? _

“We’re gonna be delayed.” Eddie huffed, showing Richie the horrendous weather forecast for California. “God, of course. I knew this was all going too well.”

“We’re not gonna get delayed.” Richie refuted. “It’s bright and sunny here, we’ll be descending towards LAX by the time we hit the bad weather. We should be fine.”

“Should be fine.” Eddie repeated. “That’s not exactly what I want to hear before going on a plane. I want to be guaranteed that we’ll be fine.”

“Okay. I  _ promise _ we’ll be fine.”

“Oh do you control the weather all of a sudden?” Eddie snipped.

“Not all of a sudden. It’s been a gift of mine since we were young. I’m sorry I had to tell you this way, it’s been a burden having to lie to you all this time-” He stopped talking when Eddie barked out a quick laugh.

“Well then make it stop with the lightning or our flight’s gonna be canceled for sure.”

“I’ll bet you that it won’t be.” He knew that Eddie never backed down from a bet. 

“Oh yeah, what are we betting? It better not be some weird sex thing.”

“I’m offended that you think I’m this big pervert that only thinks about sex.” He feigned a frown. “If our flight isn’t canceled, you have to put away my luggage for me. I hate unpacking.”

“And what do I get if it  _ is _ canceled?”

“A weird sex thing probably-” He was cut off again by another fit of laughter, unable to stop himself from joining after a few seconds. Just two grown men giggling like little kids in the middle of an airport. Hidden paparazzi could’ve had a field day.

“You’re an idiot Richie.” He said once he caught his breath. “But I feel better now. Knowing that you control the weather and all.”

“Glad I could help.” He nodded, holding his hand tightly, feeling it grow somewhat clammy. “Seriously though, you know we’re gonna be fine right?”

“Yeah.”

“If you really don’t want to, we can try to stay another day. Catch a flight tomorrow.”

“It’s gonna be gross in LA all week.” He swallowed, trying to give his best, most convincing smile. “We can’t use this as an excuse to go back to Disney.”

Richie wasn’t convinced at all, and it was visibly clear that Eddie was still nervous. But he didn’t need Eddie knowing that he knew that. “Not even for the pretzels?”

He huffed out another laugh, squeezing his hand tightly as he watched the clock get closer to their boarding time. “I love you. But I think I still need to pop a Xanax…” Eddie normally hated taking medication, but he needed to do what got him through the flight without losing his shit. It was less for his own sake and more for the sake of the other passengers. And Richie, who was already always worried about him.

Sure enough, the flight wasn’t canceled, and somehow turned out to be a pretty smooth ride. Which meant that Richie won the bet, boasting about his powers on the ride home from the airport and rubbing it in Eddie’s face how he planned to relax while Eddie was left to unpack everything. He was more bothered by the fact that Richie got to brag than actually having to do more work. At least he could make sure that everything was put away neatly and in its proper spot.

“Where does your stupid baseball hat go?” Eddie yelled to him from the room, nearly done emptying Richie’s suitcase.

“Top shelf in the closet!.. If you can reach!” Richie hollered back, laughing to himself while he made himself a cup of tea. Chai tea with loads of sugar, not Eddie’s “gross healthy shit” that tastes like dirt and crushed up lavender leaves.

“Asshole.” Eddie muttered to himself, reaching up to the top shelf to place the hat in the small basket with the others, smiling to himself when he saw the hat he bought in Hawaii, the one with the ducklings drinking martinis. It distracted him, because he accidentally tilted the entire basket over and sent its contents all over the floor.

“You okay?” He heard Richie yell, a hint of laughter still in his voice.

“Yeah!” Eddie sighed, laughing at himself as he picked up the hats and carefully piled them on top of each other. His eyes trailed over to the felt basket, seeing a picture of Richie poking out from under it. He turned it back onto its side and picked up the piece of paper to examine it.

His stomach churned in the worst way possible, making him feel sicker than he’d ever felt in his entire life when he read the words ‘In Loving Memory of Richard Tozier.’

The room felt like it was spinning around him as he got up from the floor quickly, slamming it onto the bed as he heaved for air. He couldn’t even bring himself to read the obituary, the text staring him down as he froze in his spot. He didn’t know how long he stood there just staring at it, but he knew he would go insane if he had to look at it any longer. He grabbed it shakily, clenching it so tightly that his fingers threatened to shred Richie’s picture. “RICHIE!”

He scared himself when it came out so desperate, so terrified, but he knew from the mug nearly shattering on the counter and Richie’s loud footsteps that he scared him too.

“Eds? Eddie-” He panted, skidding into their room with a knife. “What the hell is going on? Baby are you okay?” He looked frantic, eyes darting around the room for a killer or something. Eddie didn’t blink as he watched him scan the entire room before setting on him. “What the fuck man? You gave me a heart attack-” He trailed off as Eddie held up the obituary in his hand without a word. “Oh…” He dropped the knife, making them both jump when it hit the floor.

It was only one word, but it took Eddie an entire minute to process what he said. “Oh?” He repeated, looking down at the card and back up to him. “Oh?” He spat out angrily. “What the fuck is this Richie? I don’t- I can’t-” His breathing stuttered as he looked back down, feeling like he was gravely ill when his eyes skimmed over the first line of text. “If-if this is a bit it’s not fucking funny.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You-you’re sorry?” Eddie huffed, his hand shaking uncontrollably with the paper still clutched tightly as he waved it at him. “Why are you apologizing, what the fuck is this?!” He screamed. “Fuck, I think I’m gonna be sick…” 

“Eddie calm down-”

“Don’t tell me to fucking calm down!” He choked out, covering his mouth as he watched Richie move towards him, reaching for the paper. He ripped it away from his reach violently, catching the sad look in his eyes. Those eyes weren’t of the Richie that he knew. Richie was lively, caring, funny. These eyes had  _ nothing. _

“Eds, please.”

“What is this Richie?” He asked again, letting him grab his other arm lightly. “Did you write this?”

“No!” Richie stammered, biting his lip. “A dead guy gave it to me in Derry.”

Eddie stared at him in disbelief, anger, sadness, and terror all at one time. “What?”

“I think- I think Pennywise made him give it to me to fuck with me man.”

“Why?” Eddie’s voice was desperate for an answer. “Why did you keep this? Why is it in our house?” Richie didn’t answer, he just scoffed and sat down onto their bed. “Answer me Richie! What the fuck is this doing here?”

“I don’t know.” He rubbed over his eyes and hid his face in his hands.

“You’re not fucking hiding from this. I need answers.” Eddie swallowed, lifting up the paper again. “‘A native of Derry, Maine, Richard Tozier suffered through a troubled childhood that was marred by self-doubt and indecision.’”

Richie’s head shot up as he started to read. “Eddie please don’t.”

“‘His countless insecurities led him to ridicule the few friends he had-’” He kept going, retching as he stumbled over the next line. “‘-An action that would come to haunt him for the remainder of his meaningless life.’ Richie…”

“Eddie stop!” Richie begged him through tears, and Eddie actually did, watching his stone cold face melt into red blotches and streaks of tears. “I’m sorry, I’m really sorry.”

Eddie let the paper fall from his hand as he quickly embraced him, gripping him tightly as he shook in his arms. “Richie this- this isn’t true. This isn’t fucking true okay? You can’t believe this stuff, please, tell me you don’t actually believe this stuff. You didn’t- you didn’t  _ ridicule _ us.”

“I’m sorry.” He sobbed out again, his face hidden against his shoulder where Eddie could feel the tears soaking through the fabric. He held him as he cried, telling him over and over that it was all lies, and that they were safe in their house. IT couldn’t hurt them anymore.

“It wasn’t even all him man.” Richie sniffled once he finally ran out of tears. “I actually believed this stuff. I-” He stared down at the card mocking him from the floor. “I gave him the ammo.”

“Don’t look at it.”

“I’ve looked at it a hundred times Eds.” Richie confessed. “For a while I was convinced it was all true. Before seeing you again and all.”

Eddie turned to look at it, having the audacity to be lying there on their floor. Taking up space in their home. He untangled himself from Richie and bent to snatch it back up. “No.” He gritted. “None of it’s fucking true and I’m going to read every single thing and tell you how it’s all lies. It’s meant to fuck with you, and it stops. Tonight.”

“Baby, you don’t have to-”

“Try to fucking stop me!” He snapped. “Sorry. I’m sorry, it… this isn’t your fault. I’m sorry for yelling at you.”

“I’m sorry for keeping it.”

Eddie took a deep breath before looking back down at the short paragraphs, picking up where he left off. “‘Richie was an awkward-looking child-’” 

Richie snorted, wiping his eyes as he shook his head. “At least he’s got a sense of humor.”

“This isn’t funny Richie.” He said quietly, trying not to be mad.  _ This isn’t fucking funny. _ “And you didn’t look awkward.”

“Um, did you see me? I looked so fucking awkward.”

“We all did.” Eddie compromised. “We were all kids. Kids… all look awkward. You don’t look awkward now.” He frowned when he continued on. “‘-and his parents regarded him with both shame and disappointment.’” He paused to shake his head in both disgust and anger. “‘Their contempt for him only intensified during Richie’s adolescence, when his repulsive inclinations toward homosexuality and deviance emerged.’”

“That part’s about you.” Richie sighed. “Fuck, I forgot about that part. It’s so fucked up-”

“Yeah it’s fucked up!” Eddie shouted, not at him but at the paper. “And it’s bullshit! You’re parents, Richie, Maggie and Went love you more than anything. They never have and never will hate you, you know this. You have to know this. Think-think about Thanksgiving, we had such a good time and everyone, EVERYONE, loved you. Wendy, and Gemma… and-and even baby Carla! Not one person in that room felt shame or disappointment Richie, no one, everyone fucking loves you. I- I love you, all the Losers do- It’s not repulsive, you’re not fucking repulsive, I love you. I love you, so much, so fucking much…”

“Eddie, it’s okay.”

“It’s not okay!” He hissed. “I’m sorry, I-”

“You don’t have to apologize.” Richie shot him an unconvincing smile, his eyes still swimming with hurt from the words. “Keep going… if you want.” 

Eddie looked at him carefully, making sure that it was what he really wanted before he started reading the second paragraph. “‘He began performing in the late 1990s, and went on to achieve an unimaginative and forgettable career in stand-up comedy.’” Eddie stopped to laugh. “Sorry that’s just… so fucking stupid. Even with the shitty material you were given you still managed to make a name for yourself. People love you, you’re so-so talented. You killed it on SNL and you’re gonna kill it in your Netflix special. So that’s pretty fucking stupid. Clown doesn’t even know how wrong he is- WAS.” 

When Richie didn’t say anything but nod, Eddie kept going. “‘Unable to escape his anxieties, and incapable of sustaining any real human connection, he was eventually abandoned by his remaining friends, who never really knew him in the first place.’ Richie, that’s not your fault. Baby, look at me, it’s not your fault. We- I wish we didn’t forget. But we’re here now. We’re here, together. And if this is about whatever friends you had before now, fuck them. They don’t deserve you, you’re too good for those shit bags. Their fucking loss.”

“All I need is you.”

“You have a lot more than me.” He reminded him, stepping closer to cradle his head close to his torso as he looked down to the last little bit. “‘In the end, his pathetic indecision in life and disgusting…’ Oh God.”  _ Don’t puke, don’t puke. _

“You can finish it Eds.” Richie said, calmer than he felt.

“‘His pathetic indecision in life and disgusting sexual urges left him alone, without any reason to live, and now everyone knows his dirty secret. His death-’” Eddie interrupted himself with a choked out sound very similar to a gag, feeling his blood turn to ice and his vision blur.

“Eddie-”

“Shh. I can do it.” Eddie sputtered, taking a few deep breaths and running his fingers through Richie’s hair. “I got this.” He cleared his throat, swallowing the build-up of saliva that was making him feel sick. “Sorry, fuck. ‘His death is the punchline to the only funny joke he ever made: His life.’” He shivered violently, the words leaving a sour taste in his mouth as he pushed through the last line. “‘He is survived by nobody, and will not be missed.’”

The house was dead silent aside from the rain coming down viciously onto the roof, the occasional howl of wind or distant thunder mixing with it. Eddie sat back down onto the bed, thumbing over the corner of the paper, which he folded so he didn’t need to look at it anymore. He was sure he might even faint, let alone throw up, if he looked at it again. “Richie, you’re not disgusting. You know me, you know how clean I am, I’m a fucking nutcase. If you were disgusting I wouldn’t be near you. And I fucking hate when I’m  _ not _ near you.” He paused to let the words sink in. “Do you think I’m disgusting too?”

“No!” Richie shook his head. “No, of course not. I don’t think that now, I’ve come to terms with being a big ole homo.” He knew that he probably shouldn’t be trying to joke around, but Eddie let it slide. 

“It’s not a dirty secret either. Look at all of the good things that have happened since you came out. It’s only changed things for the good.”

“Yeah.”

“And Richie- if you… if you-”  _ If you died.  _ “I’d be lost without you. I told you, I just got you back, I can’t lose you again. Okay? So just… let me help you. Let me love you, let everyone love you. And start loving yourself for fuck’s sake. You’re the best.”

“Okay.”

“I- I’m going to call this office Bev recommended to me. For counseling, we need therapy Richie. We can’t just keep joking about it and pushing it off. It’s killing me to see you hurt like this. We’re torturing ourselves by pretending like everything is fine.”

“Yeah.” He sniffed, nodding. “Okay, let’s call tomorrow. You’re right, this- we haven’t really gotten a chance to move past everything. Well, we have but it’s still there in the past. We just haven’t dealt with it yet.”

“So you’ll try it out?”

“Can’t hurt right?” He tried smiling again, a little more like his usual one. He caught Eddie in his arms, squeezing him so hard he was scared he’d crush him. “I love you.”

“I love you. I love you. IloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyou.” They stood like that for a while again, just holding each other, saying it back and forth. “Hey, if you could make the rain stop with those superpowers of yours that would be great.”

“No can do.” Richie laughed lightly into his neck. “It’s calming.”

“It looks like there’s gonna be a hurricane, how is this calming?” Eddie rolled his eyes. “The windows sound like their gonna shatter.”

“Oh fuck! Speaking of shatter, I think I destroyed a mug downstairs.”

“I heard. I’ll go clean it.”

“No, no.” Richie held his arm gently. “I’ll clean it, it was my bad.”

“I scared you, it’s my fault.”

“Technically I scared you first.” Richie said pointedly, grabbing the paper from Eddie’s hands without much resistance. “Hey, I have an idea.”

They walked towards Richie’s office hand in hand, flicking on the light and moving the Disney bear out of the way so Richie could turn on his paper shredder. “Sayonara.” He hummed as he slid the obituary through the opening, his skin prickling when the roar of the machine filled the house, turning the card into tiny pieces of paper. By the time it passed through and the machine clicked off, the card was indistinguishable from the rest of the paper in the basket. 

But that wasn’t enough, it was still in their house. So Eddie took the basket and walked it over to the bathroom in the hall where he flushed it all down the toilet, making sure that it was washed away. It almost all disintegrated as soon as it hit the water, but he flushed several times anyway to make sure it was gone for good. “Ciao.” 

“I’m glad it’s gone.” Richie sighed. “I don’t know why I kept it. I’m sorry.”

“If you apologize to me one more time I’m going to shred you next.” He responded so gently that it was almost comical. “Let’s clean up your mess and go to bed. Your shit is pretty much all unpacked.”

It would’ve been nice if they had both been able to sleep soundly that night, they deserved a break. But unfortunately, that’s not really how life works. The night was plagued with nightmares, most on Eddie’s end, shaking from visuals of him attending Richie’s funeral. Richie’s nightmares were more centered around Eddie not attending his funeral. They ended up holding each other and staying up all night watching reruns of The Golden Girls. 

First thing in the morning, Eddie called the therapist's office.

With everything going on, Richie finalizing aspects of his show and Eddie starting work, they desperately needed to talk to someone about what was happening. Only problem was the issue of actually explaining the  _ real _ situation. It’s not very easy to explain interdimensional space clown trauma in therapy.

“Sorry, I’m just not very good with this stuff.” Eddie fidgeted on the couch, looking around the room of the new office. He’d only been there for thirty minutes, only scratching the bare surface of his mommy issues and near death experience. “I don’t really like doctors.”

“You’re doing great.” His therapist, Laura, smiled at him with her small notebook in her hand, jotting down some things. “I’m not here to judge you. I  _ can _ diagnose you, and maybe I will. But I’m not here to force you into any treatment or anything like that. I’m really here to listen more than anything.” She studied him for a moment before gently asking: “Why are you here Eddie?”

“My mom messed me up and I almost died.” He gave a nervous laugh. “I guess those are pretty good places to start.”

“Mm. I see.” She nodded. “But why are you here now? What made today the day for you to seek help? It seems as you’ve had some of these long standing worries for some time now.”

Eddie licked his dry lips, eyes flickering around the office again as he focused his breathing. She waited patiently, no sign of frustration or judgment in her voice. “Um, my boyfriend and I agreed that we should try sooner rather than later. We kept pushing it off.”

“This is the comedian?” She hummed at his quick nod. “You understand that I am under strict confidentiality? I can not and will not let any of the information you share with me out of this office. Alright, good. Now, is he in therapy as well?”

“Uh, yeah he’s actually in a different office that one of your colleagues recommended. Something about being better suited for celebrities?”

“Celebrities do tend to have some unique circumstances.” She smiled. “It’s not much different from the process that we are doing with you. If you don’t mind me asking, is he in therapy because he witnessed your near death experience?”

“Maybe.” He swallowed thickly. “I mean, he’s been through his own stuff too. He’s been struggling with his sexuality for as long as I’ve known him.”

“I see. You know Eddie, shared trauma is a very real thing. It could be why you two have always been close. It sounds like you’ve had shared trauma long before your recent incident.” At first he was confused, he said nothing about being traumatized by a killer clown when they were kids. But then he understood. “Being ‘in the closet’ is often very difficult for most kids and young adults.” She explained.

“Oh, yeah.” He nodded. “I guess so. I don’t really think I thought about it much. Not as much or as early as he did at least. High school and college were much more… confusing?”

“How so?”

“First time getting to leave the nest.” He huffed. “But- By the time I was finally able to do my own thing I was… I was too scared.”  _ I married my fucking mom. _

“Is that why you’re here Eddie?” She asked softly. 

“I- yeah I think so.” He shivered. “I can’t live like that anymore, I’m tired of being afraid.”

“What makes you feel less afraid?” 

“My friends.” He answered without thinking. “Richie, mostly.”

“I think we are starting at a very good place.” She assured him, jotting down a few more notes. “You can make your own schedule here, that’s the nice thing. We can do weekly sessions, bi-weekly, or you can come in whenever you feel you need to. But for the best results I’d recommend you come in regularly. A schedule will be good.”

“I’ll see how I can plan around my work schedule.”

“Very good.” She smiled, standing up to shake his hand. “It was a pleasure Eddie. For someone so adamant that they are bad at opening up, you've done great. I think we’ll be able to work through multiple problems at your pace, PTSD symptoms are hard to handle alone. If you ever need anything, please do not hesitate to call.”

Therapy was hard. Opening up to strangers was never easy for Eddie, but as he left the office after his first session he felt a certain weight lifted off his chest. The feeling he normally got when he did something brave.

Richie, surprisingly, was another story.

Sure, he had a big mouth and loved to joke around about his issues, but as soon as he sat down on the couch he sort of shut down. “If you keep avoiding my questions with jokes Richie, I won’t be able to help you.” His therapist, Lydia, said calmly. “I just want you to be open with me, with yourself. This could be a really good thing for you.”

“Sorry.” Richie sighed, scratching his head. “I’m not good at this. I’m here really for Eddie-”

“And not for yourself?” She asked, scribbling something onto her notepad. “Richie, I’ve been writing down every time you’ve mentioned his name and it’s been…” She checked her watch quickly. “Maybe fifteen minutes. Do you want to know how many times I’ve counted?”

“Four trillion?”

“Twenty-three.” She laughed lightly. “In fifteen minutes. You love him, clearly.”

“More than anything.”

“More than yourself?”

Richie clicked his tongue and raised an eyebrow at her. “Wow, you’re asking the tough questions.”

“That’s what you’ve paid me to do.” She challenged with a smirk.

“I’m kidding, it’s not a tough question.” He scoffed. “Of course I love him more than me, I have since we were kids. No to be a dick, but haven’t we been over this? Childhood love, reconnected, almost saw him die a few months ago…”

“We have, I’m just getting everything in order.” She nodded. “So that’s why you’re here? Because Eddie recommended it, not because you need it?”

“Oh trust me doll, I need it.” He laughed. “It’s just… a lot of shit to get into and I’m kind of working through it with my comedy. Joking about it helps.”

“Did joking about it help when you were a kid?” She asked bluntly, shutting him up. “Or when you went to college? Or while you started your career afterward?” She jotted down something quickly before placing down the pen and folding her hands. “Look Richie, I’m here to listen and help you. But I’m also here to tell you how it is. And it seems like that making jokes doesn’t  _ really _ help you. It distracts you, sure, but the only thing that has really helped you has been your relationships. Your family. Your friends.”

“Well sure, I have the best friends in the world.”

“You said you only recently connected with them a few months ago.” She reminded him. “How long was it before that, more than two decades? That’s a long time to go without being happy.”

“Yeah.” He swallowed, biting the inside of his cheek as he adjusted his glasses for the fiftieth time. “And it sucks.”

“It’s never too late to be happy.” She smiled softly. “But you need to learn how to cope properly with your past trauma. Humor is great for the short term, but I’m here to help you in the long run. Are you up for that?”

“I’ll try my best.” He shrugged. “I can’t promise you that I’ll stop making jokes. But just know that it doesn’t mean I’m not trying to take this seriously. I actually do want help, I want to stay happy for my Eds.”

“That’s endearing. I hope that after a few sessions you’ll begin to want to stay happy for  _ you. _ ”

They talked for a little bit longer, mostly bringing her up to speed on his journey through sexuality and childhood trauma. Even some of his adult trauma and past substance abuse. No talk of killer clowns of course. Maybe that would’ve been easier to explain when they started talking about how he almost lost Eddie. He tried his best to stay open and honest, but he hated talking or even thinking about it more than anything. 

More than gay struggles, and more than killer clowns.

“It sounds like you’re still scared of losing him.”

“Isn’t that normal?” Richie quipped. “I feel like that’s not one of my many problems.”

“It’s normal to be afraid to lose someone, of course. But I think you are genuinely afraid that he could either die or leave you at any given moment. Why is that? He sounds perfectly heathly-”

“I don’t want to talk about him dying.” He deadpanned.

“Alright. Then how about him leaving? From what you’ve told me, you both seem to be in a happy relationship.”

“We are.” He tapped his foot on the ground, becoming fidgety after sitting for so long. “We are, it’s just… we both have issues and he’s getting out of that previous marriage I told you about. I don’t want to pressure him or anything but… I wanna marry the fuck out of him.”

“Have you talked about it?”

“Maybe jokingly.” He snorted. “But again, kinda has some shit to get through. I don’t wanna risk scaring him off.”

“He’s in therapy too, yes?”

“Yeah, at the other office.” He checked his watch. “He should actually be close to done by now. He’ll probably beat me home.”

“How’s life at home?” She asked, writing down a few things.

“Good. Great, actually.” Richie hummed. “I’ve never been happier.”

“Do you feel like there’s an open line of communication?” 

“For the most part. I know I can tell him anything, but sometimes I just get scared.”

“That he won’t understand?”

“Eddie understands me more than anyone. I guess it’s just an irrational fear…”

“Of being rejected.” She answered for him as he trailed off. “The fact that you recognize that fear as irrational is a great start. You should be proud, it’s not an easy thing to do for most people.”

“Proud that I’m less fucked in the head than them?”

She gave a short laugh at that. “I think you trying your hardest to better yourself is something to be very proud of. Well Richie, time's almost up for this session. What I’d recommend is that you work on keeping communication very open with the people around you. This doesn’t mean you have to stop being you, but I would dial back the jokes during serious moments. I know it’s a coping mechanism, but being raw about your feelings is the next big step to working through your past and current struggles. It sounds like you and Eddie have shared trauma, so I think you can both really help each other through this. Remember that you have a solid support network and you should use them if you need. You have my number in case you need an impromptu session.”

As much as he felt iffy on how the session went, Richie did feel a certain weight lifted off of his shoulders when he got into his car to drive back home. Lydia had given him homework, to write down things that he was grateful for and things that he was stressed out about every single day. Then he was advised to share them with someone else. 

Yeah, he didn’t know how to feel about that yet. It sounded silly, but what the hell does he know?

He must’ve gotten home just after Eddie because when he opened the door, he was there hanging up his sweater. “Hey baby.” He smiled, stepping in and kicking off his shoes. “How’d it go?”

“Good.” Eddie sighed, wrapping his arms around his waist and pressing a kiss to the underside of his jaw. “It was hard. But I think it’s going to be a good thing.”

_ Don’t make a fucking joke about being hard.  _ “Glad to hear it. I hope it helps.”

“How uh… how did it go for you?”

“I think I suck at it.” Richie snorted. “But I’m still gonna try.”

“All you ever do is talk.” Eddie grinned. “How could you suck at it?”

“Lydia is cool and all.” Richie shrugged. “But she’s no Eddie Spaghetti.”

“Weirdo.” Eddie laughed into his shoulder, running his hands up Richie’s sweatshirt. “Hey, I love you. You know that?”

“It’s still hard to believe.” Richie swallowed, hoping Eddie couldn’t feel how those three words could get his heart rate up so high. “I’m waiting for the day the cameras come out and Ashton Kutcher is gonna pop out and tell me I’ve been Punk’d.”

“That show is so early 2000s dude. Get a new reference.”

“Uhh… Impractical Jokers?”

“They don’t do these kinds of pranks.”

“So this  _ is _ a prank! I fucking knew it was too good to be true.”

“You’re an idiot-  _ woah! _ ” Eddie yelped when Richie hoisted him up into his arms and carried him towards their room. “What is happening?”   
  


“Can’t a guy cuddle after some therapy?” Richie smirked at Eddie’s laughter, placing him gently onto the mattress and crawling next to him. He propped himself up on one elbow as he ran a soothing hand down Eddie’s side. “Hey there gorgeous.”

“Hey handsome.” He smiled, turning his head to stare at him intently. “Do you wanna talk about it?” Richie knew what he meant, and his first instinct was to say no and move on. But that went against the entire point of his session.

“We talked about you a lot.” He admitted, bringing his hand up towards his cheek so he could softly trace the faint scar there. “Just about us, about what happened in Derry. She thinks I may have some PTSD, and some residual guilt. Who would’ve thought my poor management of stress hasn't been helping either?”

“Did you spend your entire session talking about me?” He frowned, heart clenching that Richie, after all this time, still blamed himself for what happened.

Richie’s lips curled into a smug little smile. “I also talked a little about internalized homophobia, being in the closet and stuff. A little about my family and career. A little bit about substance abuse.” He bit his lips and chuckled to himself. “Apparently I said your name over twenty times in the first fifteen minutes though.”

“I said yours a lot too. But she didn’t keep count.” Eddie smirked. “Next time I’ll have to beat your record.”

“Therapy isn’t a competition Edward.” He shook his head. It was silent between them for a moment. “Why don’t you ever ask me about it?”

“About what?”

“About when I was in rehab. About the drug stuff.”

“Oh.” Eddie licked his lips and looked up towards their ceiling. “I thought you didn’t like talking about it. Besides, it doesn’t matter. You worked through that stuff, it has nothing to do with our problems right now.”

“Well I was an alcoholic and I really enjoyed doing coke.” Richie summarized. “I just… wanted you to know since it was a whole big thing. I almost fucked up everything.”

“But you didn’t.”

“Yeah.”

“I married a woman.” Eddie scoffed. “I  _ did _ pretty much fuck up everything. I’d say somehow you made better choices.”

“I didn’t know this was therapy 2.0 Eds.”

“You’ve always been therapy 1.0 for me.” Eddie blinked at him. “Ever since we were kids. You know… you know you can also tell me anything right?”

“Roger that.” He gave a small salute before wiggling closer to curl around him. “I’m scared. But we’re gonna get through this and we’ll be so much happier.”  _ I hope. _ “I love you.” 

“Thanks for doing this with me Rich.”  _ God knows we both need it. _ “I love you too.”

Eddie started work the next day, dressed in his black dress pants and white collared shirt and the black tie and cufflinks that Wentworth had gotten him for Christmas. It felt weird, starting a new job let alone having to meet and work with new people. But it was good, it gave him something to do during the day while Richie edited and rehearsed his set. He had a routine again, one that didn’t involve sitting on the couch all day. 

He left that morning nervous, but somewhat motivated to get back to work. “Good luck Dr. K, you got this.” Richie kissed him before he walked out of the door.

“I’m not a doctor asshole, I’m a management assistant and a patient services manager.”

“Sounds sexy.” He purred, pulling him back in for not one, but several more long kisses.

“You’re gonna make me late for my first day asshole.”

“Sorry, sorry.” He laughed, sounding not at all sorry. “Bye, I’ll miss you.”

Miss, was an understatement. Richie was  reminded very quickly for the first time since he left for Derry, that he  _ hated _ being alone. Hated, was an understatement. Editing his script and attending rehearsals took his mind off of it for a little bit, but as soon as he stepped foot inside of his empty house, consumed by the quiet, his stomach hurt from the memories of being alone.  _ Maybe this is a good thing to bring up to Lydia for next time. _

He knew he probably shouldn’t need to, nor was he really supposed to, but Richie found every excuse possible to go visit Eddie at work. Whether it was to bring him papers he left at home purposefully because they “looked important” or so he could bring him coffee or lunch. It was endearing at first. But then it became almost ridiculous… but still endearing. Everything Richie did was somehow endearing.

“My God Richie, this is the fifth time this week. You’re gonna get me in trouble!” 

“But home is lonely without you.” It broke Eddie’s heart whenever he’d say it, making him itch to get home so he could just cuddle on the couch or have fun in bed. Not exactly how he wanted to feel at work, but he didn’t have the power to kick Richie out of his office. Even when he was being extremely distracting.

“I love that you wear ties. Makes me feel like we’re in a porno.” Richie emphasized his point with a yank to Eddie’s tie.

“If you think we’re  _ ever _ having sex in this office, you’re delusional.”

“Loud and clear Dr. Kaspbrak.”

“Not a doctor.” Eddie glared at him. “Now go home.”

“Okay Management Assistant Kaspbrak.” He stole a quick kiss from him before turning the corner outside of his office, only to immediately stick his head back in. “Hey, I love you.” 

“I know.” 

Richie’s jaw dropped, and Eddie had to fight the smile threatening to spread across his lips. “You did not just Han Solo me!” 

“Get out of my office before I kick your ass!” He yelled quietly.

Richie blew him a kiss and threw him a wink before ducking back out, hopefully to actually leave the building instead of doing laps around the hospital so he could come back to take him home. Even though he couldn’t really complain about having Richie be his chauffeur every now and again.

“Delivery for you Eddie.” Colton, the hospital’s mail guy knocked on his door. 

“Please don’t tell me-”

“From Richie.” He chuckled at Eddie’s loud sigh. “Hey, was he here by any chance? I could’ve sworn I just passed by him-”

“Next time you see him, call security.” He huffed out a laugh as Colton handed him the package. It was long, but skinny. “Thank you though. We’ll be having a talk about visitation. Again…”

“Good luck with that.” He snorted, no annoyance present, tipping his hat as he left the office.

Eddie examined the box, pulling out a pen from his desk so he could poke at the tape to unravel it. It was hard to open, but after a few times of trying to pry it open, the box sent a mixture of glitter and confetti all over his work pants and his desk. He was in shock for a brief moment, frantically trying to shake the glitter from his body, to no avail. He ripped the champagne bottle from the box, examining it and resting his forehead onto the edge of the desk.  _ Dearest Eduardo. I’m so proud of you, keep up the good work. Share with the office and tell Daniel and Colton I say hi. They are my favorites. Besides you of course ;) -The handsome and talented Trashmouth. _

Eddie smiled warmly down at the gift, then back down at his pants.  _ I’m still going to kill him. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took a turn... much like Stephen King and Andy Mushcetti, for some reason it's hard to give my boys a break ),: Don't worry though, I promise that they will be happy! (Lord knows they deserve it)
> 
> Anyways, thank you for reading! Comments and Kudos are always appreciated and motivate me to keep writing/posting! (I really hope people are still reading this... IT fandom please never die)
> 
> Stay happy and healthy <3


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was really happening, after all of those long-forgotten years. After years of Ben pining over a girl who was long gone but who he’d never really forgotten, and years of Beverly suffering with Tom, they were both going to be happy. 
> 
> Just like they deserved.  
> _______________________
> 
> Richie goes on Late Night & Beverly and Ben get married! [<3]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Smut at the end but mostly just a good time :D  
> (Bev & Ben deserve the best)

“Your first stand up original, ‘Trashmouth Unleashed’, is rolling up on us pretty soon.” Stephen Colbert paused for the cheers and applause. “Tell us, how in the world did you end up with the nickname Trashmouth?”

Richie’s face morphed into a devilish grin as he adjusted himself in the small loveseat. “Oh that started way before my career. I practically exited the womb with a trashmouth. You know, small-town kid who couldn’t keep his mouth shut and loved impressions. My mouth got me in trouble a lot as a wee lad.”

“That’s quite a reputation to have so young.” Colbert laughed, wide eyeing the audience for another round of laughter. “Now you are somewhat involved with a number of big names. Fashion designer Beverly Marsh and author Bill Denbrough are friends of yours, yes?”

“Best friends.” Richie clarified. “Those guys are the best. Bev’s getting married at the end of the week to our other good friend Ben, he does crazy architect shit now. And Bill’s fucking awesome too. Sorry, I know you said to keep the cursing to a minimum but it’s worth it for him. His books are cool, but he recently just came out with a new movie. It’s great, everyone should see it.”

“I’m so fascinated that you’re all connected. Are they as excited about your special as you are?”

“I think so. When we were kids we all had this thing where if I went too far with a joke or impression, they would say ‘beep-beep Richie’. It was the only thing that got me to shut up. So now that they are all encouraging me to go on stage and _not_ shut up… it’s pretty damn cool.” 

“Well we are very excited to hear it, and I think I speak for us all when I say that we are very happy to see you in such a good place. Do you think you’re in a good spot right now?”

“I think I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.” He answered confidently, nodding his head at the applause. “I think a lot of people were able to see in my old work how angry and depressed I was. I was lost, to tell you the truth, and I think that I used flings and drugs to hide who I was and just get through life. I really don’t think I would’ve survived if it weren’t for my friends and family. So yeah, I’m in a pretty fuc- _freaking_ good spot right now.” 

“Wow, that is really something. Can I just say, I always had high hopes for you. You have a lot of potential, and you’re a genuinely good person. Do your fans and friends make you want to be a good person and continue being who you are? Oh, congrats on coming out by the way! I don’t think I got a chance to say it in person!”

“Thank you, thank you!” Richie laughed. “Now you’re just buttering me up. But yeah, I think that I owe my fans a lot, especially the ones who have stuck with me when I was spiraling and the ones that are still here after I came out. It really means a lot, so big thanks to them, for real. And of course, my friends make me always want to be better. My family and boyfriend too, are all the reason I strive to work hard and keep at it.”

“Thank god you brought it up so I didn’t have to.” He whistled in relief. “We’ve gotten a lot of requests to ask you about your boyfriend. Eddie, is it?” A picture of him and Eddie at Disneyland appeared on the screen behind him, and a few hoots and “awe’s” came out of the audience. “We don’t like to pry here… but tell us everything.”

Richie laughed along with the audience. “Wow. Where do I even begin? I’ve known the guy since I was a kid. There’s no juicy gossip there, sorry. We were friends and kind of parted ways for college. I saw him again for the first time in more than two decades like… a couple of months ago. Crazy stuff and… here we are!”

“Young love?” He asked with a smirk.

“Listen, I’m not divulging too much here. If you want to hear all of the juicy details you’ll have to tune into my special.” He shrugged, winking towards the audience. “Honey, if you’re watching that’s a joke… Cut this part out, he was too busy to come with me so he’s watching the show at home. He’s a pain in the ass but he’s a cutie. Probably why everyone thinks he’s my sugar baby or something.” He winked again at the audience. His heart swelled at the thought of Eddie back in LA watching with his face all flustered and scrunched up. He planned to hop on a flight back home right after the show so that they could fly to Chicago for Ben and Bev’s wedding together.

“I knew you’d be a tease.” Colbert laughed, nudging his arm from over his table. “Can you give us anything? What’s on the material list?”

“Well this special is a little different. I want to make up for all of the terrible shows I’ve done. I’ve said some vile shit, homophobic and sexist and it just wasn’t funny. But yeah, this is different, I want to show people who I really am and what I can really do. Of course I want it to be funny, but there are definitely more serious topics thrown in there. You know, serious talks of trauma, homophobia, rehab, mental health stuff. Is it acceptable to joke about killing a guy?”

“My goodness, how could we forget! Did you ever face charges?”

“Hell no! One, it was in defense of my good friend Mikey, who he was trying to murder in front of my damn eyes. Two, he stabbed Eddie in the fuc- _freaking_ face, and THREE he murdered some guards at the mental hospital. That town should give me a key to the city and a gold medal.”

“Well, you’ve been through a whole shit storm, haven’t you? First people accuse you of going on a drug binge when you bailed on the tour, then your little friend reunion turns into a psycho killer trying to kill you all?”

“We went to school with the guy, I think he always wanted to kill us.” Richie huffed. “He was a homophobic, rotten bully who became a killer. Moral of the story, if you’re a bigot who wants to hurt my friends, you’re getting the bonk.” The crowd laughed and cheered a little bit. Did it somewhat freak him out that they were cheering for the fact that he killed somebody? Duh, but he still couldn’t help but smile awkwardly at the enthusiasm.

“Alright ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. Watch his special or you’ll be ‘bonked’. After the break, we will be back with Richie and Dallas Cowboys running back Ezekiel Elliott. Last time he was here he said that being a comedian was an easy job, so now we will see if he and Tozier have what it takes to switch careers. Stay tuned, thank you!”

Richie thought he’d be bored, but co-hosting a talk show for a hot minute was pretty damn fun. Ezekiel Elliott was intimidating as hell even though he was an inch shorter than Richie, muscles on muscles. He was super nice though, showing up in a neon green button-up and cheetah print jeans to make fun of Richie’s tacky fashion choices while he pretended to run through a standup routine. It was pretty accurate to his old material, a bunch of raunchy jokes and references to his dick. He couldn’t wait for everyone to see how much his routine had changed since he started being original. 

It was a pretty good bit, but Richie got the biggest laughter and applause when he walked out onto stage in a full western cowboy costume. “You said he was a cowboy!” Richie laughed at their baffled faces. 

“ON the Cowboys man!” Ezekiel Elliott palmed his face with his giant hand that could palm an entire football with ease. “The football team!”

“Football?” Richie gawked at him. “What the fuck is football? I’m gay!”

Colbert thanked them both for a job well done, even though Richie looked absolutely ridiculous in a jersey on and ball in hand. The curtains closed and as soon as the lights dimmed, his phone was buzzing in his pocket. “Spageds?”

“You’re an idiot, you know that?” It came out as a half-laugh, muffled partly by a sigh. Not an annoyed one though, which was a win in Richie’s book. “It was funny, you did great. I’m really proud of you.”

“C’mon man, don’t make me cry in front of these wardrobe people.”

“Don’t be such a sap then.” He snickered through the speaker. “Are you heading home right after?”

“I should be there before you wake up, don’t wait up.”

“Still, remember to text me when you get to the airport and when you board. And when you land. You know what, wake me when you get home too.”

“Why? Me in that there cowboy getup get you all flustered darlin?” He drawled.

“No dipshit.” Eddie snorted. “Home is just lonely without you.”

Richie chose to ignore the way that made his heart hurt so he didn’t end up actually crying backstage as crew members took apart his costume. “Aw baby, I haven’t even been gone for twelve hours.”

“Are you seriously making fun of me for missing you?” Eddie huffed, but Richie could picture the smile on his face. “Come home asshole. I’m not packing your shit for Chicago so make sure you get some sleep on the plane. I love you.”

“I love you too.” He giggled. “Hey, what if I wore this costume to the wedding-” Eddie didn’t even entertain him with a reply, cutting him off with the dial tone as he hung up abruptly. Richie tried not to laugh too hard so that he could be freed from his football padding once and for all.

He was let out the back door where a bunch of fans were already waiting. He desperately wanted to hop on his flight to be back with Eddie by morning, but he felt bad ditching them completely. They went out of his way to support him, the least he could do was stay and say hi. So he signed as many papers and took as many selfies as he could before hopping in a taxi to bring him to the airport. 

He took Eddie’s advice and napped on the flight, getting a solid five hours of sleep before he was awoken by the stewardess. He stretched his legs, thankful that he could afford the extra leg space and private seating. _Perks of the job I guess._

He tried to be quiet when he got back to the house, seeing that all of the lights were off. He didn’t blame him, Richie was ready to pass out too, hopefully for at least another hour or two before they had to pack and head off to Chicago. It was only a three hour flight, but Richie was still hoping to get some extra sleep. 

Creeping into their room slowly, he smiled at the sound of Eddie’s soft snoring, hidden mostly under their large comforter. He had all of two seconds to admire him sleeping so peacefully, swimming in one of Richie’s button-ups, before he passed out next to him fully dressed. 

He didn’t know how long he was asleep, but Eddie’s alarm pierced his ears after what felt like a ten minute power nap. Except instead of powerful, he felt like shit. It was so brutal that he covered his ears like a little kid until Eddie finally reached his arm over and shut it off.

Eddie rubbed over his eyes and let out a long, tired sigh. He turned to face Richie, blinking one, then twice, before smiling. “Morning.” He hummed as he reached his hand up to Richie’s face.

“Morning sleeping beauty-” Richie was startled when Eddie flicked him in the forehead.

“I told you to wake me.” He grumbled, the faint hint of his smile still on his face.

“I love when you boss me around with that gruffy tired voice, super sexy.” Richie rubbed his forehead before leaning in to kiss him sweetly. “So you missed me huh?”

“Yeah I did. Kind of surprised you aren’t still wearing the costume-” Eddie trailed off, his eyes scanning over Richie’s body. “Are you still _dressed?_ ”

“I didn’t have the time or energy.”

“Are you serious?” Eddie wrinkled his nose, turning away from him and onto his back. “You traveled all the way from New York, onto a plane, and back to LA in these clothes, gross! Please tell me you are at least packed?”

“Um…”

“I’m gonna kick your ass when I get some coffee in me.” Eddie laughed, clasping a hand over his face. “I’m going to start getting ready and packing my shit in the car. Pack now.” He swung his legs over the side of the bed and rubbed his eyes one more time before tossing his pillow at Richie. “Now, Rich. I don’t wanna miss our flight.”

“I like your shirt.” Richie mumbled, underneath the pillow before moving it off of his face. Eddie stopped at their bathroom and rolled his eyes with a smile, raising his middle finger.

Richie’s been on many flights, but he’s never packed so lazily as now. He threw in a heap of clothes, not even really sure what was in it, and stuffed in some basic toiletries. It took him all of five minutes, and Eddie gave him a suspicious look as he sipped his coffee. Richie threw his things into the car and got back inside at just the right time for Eddie to finish his coffee and check his watch. “Impressive, we aren’t totally rushing. You even changed clothes, I’m proud.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll take a shower at Bev’s, but we gotta go. This for me?” He pointed to the travel mug on the table and Eddie nodded, following him quickly out of the door. 

“I’m driving.” Eddie intercepted him at the drivers’ side door, blocking him from opening it. “You look like you’re gonna fall back asleep any minute.”

Richie didn’t argue with him, he didn’t have the energy. Point proven.

“How’d you sleep?” He asked after a long sip of his coffee, blinking rapidly to keep awake.

“Not good, you ruined me. I can’t sleep without your stupid arms around me or your sasquatch legs kicking me.”

“Cute, cute, cute.” Richie grinned at the way the back of his neck flustered as he pulled out of their driveway and towards the airport. “Ugh I don’t even wanna walk into the airport again so soon. Can we at least cuddle and nap on the plane?”

“Not until you shower.” It was funny, when Eddie would deny him. Pretend like he wasn’t a big mush inside. If Richie wasn’t so tired himself, he would laugh at how fast Eddie cuddled into him as soon as they sat, so close to him despite the “germs that he brought from New York.”

They cuddled and napped through the entire plane ride, germs and all, and woke up just as they were landing. Neither of them were much fun after waking up, but they shuffled along the terminal and towards the exit of the gate. It took a lot of convincing for Richie to finally get Eddie to stop overpacking every flight. Well, technically he still overpacked. He just managed to stuff everything into a carry-on so they didn’t have to go through baggage claim. 

“All aboard.” Ben smiled as they both slid into his car, half hugs exchanged over the seats. “Welcome to Chicago. Sorry Bev isn’t here to greet you guys but she insisted on slaving away on dinner.” 

“What a gal, ay? Are you excited to finally tie the knot Benny boy?” Richie clasped his shoulder from the back seat. “Please tell me we’re celebrating beforehand.”

“I think we agreed on a joint bachelor-bachelorette party.” He laughed, pulling away from the airport when everyone was settled. “I’m stoked. But I’m also really scared.”

“Why?” Eddie snorted, joining the conversation to distract him from how heavy his eyelids still felt. He didn’t even want to know how tired Richie still was.

“What if I suck?” Ben shrugged with a goofy grin. “Can she return me?”

“Eddie’s returning his wife.” Richie chimed happily, and Eddie turned to glare at him from the passenger seat. “You’ll be fine man, you’re a great guy. And she’s one hell of a gal.”

“She really is.” He agreed.

“I’m excited for you both.” Eddie hummed. “Oh, and Rich?” He met his eyes in the mirror. “If you bring up Myra again while we’re here I’ll return _you._ ”

“I was going to ask how that’s been going.” Ben bit his lip, trying not to laugh. “But I see that it’s a sore subject.” He and Beverly lived a little ways from the airport, away from the city in a more secluded area. They were set to move to LA after the wedding and honeymoon, but they had yet to close on their current house yet.

Which was ginormous.

Ben explained that he planned the layout and finalized the blueprint himself, not surprising for such a successful architect. He was a builder by nature, a visionary since they were kids, so it shouldn't have been a shock that he had such a beautiful house. 

“Am I walking into a sacred place right now?” Richie snickered as Ben punched a key code into the front door to let them all in. “Do I have to bow before crossing the threshold?”

“No.” Ben chuckled. “Usually I’d ask you to chant the words of wisdom but I think I’ll let it slide for you guys.”

“Is this a shoes on or off house?” He asked, watching Eddie already move to take his shoes off. 

“It doesn’t really matter.” He shrugged, then threw him a wink. “We’re moving soon anyways.”

“Don’t make me cry two seconds after entering your beautiful home Benjamin.”

“Ah yes, christen our house with your tears before we move.” Bev giggled from the stairway, wearing what looked like one of Ben’s sweatshirts with a glass of wine in hand. “Welcome to Chicago.”

_“Welcome to Chicago.”_ Richie mimicked her. “What are you guys, the fucking ambassadors of the state?” He hugged her tightly, carefully not to jostle her with the glass in hand.

“Sadly we were offered new positions in California.” She pitched his side as she pulled away. “Don’t want you thinking we’re moving there to be close to you or anything. It’s purely for career purposes only. Hey Eddie!”

“Hi Bev.” He hugged her just as tight, laughing in her ear. “California is nice and sunny. You’ll like it. Despite the proximity to this loudmouth.”

“You know what, screw you both. Ben, you’re the only one who’s nice apparently.” Richie huffed. “But also fuck you for deciding on a winter wedding. In Chicago! What kind of maniacs do that?”

“To be fair, it was easier for my family.” Ben held his hands up in defense. “And Beverly wanted to savor the snow one last time.”

“And it fits for us.” She added. “ _January_ embers. _Winter_ fire.”

“You both make me sick.” Richie gagged. “Eddie, baby, kiss me so we can cleanse this house of this tragic straightness.”

“Not a chance.” Eddie scoffed, reddening under Bev and Ben’s amused looks.

“I’ll be going to pick up Bill and Mike in a couple of hours, it’s my turn to be chauffeur.” She sighed, sipping from her glass. “I already prepared dinner, hope you both like lasagna.” 

“We’re American, of course we like lasagna.” 

“It’s Italian stupid.” Eddie glared at his boyfriend. 

Richie stuck his tongue out at him. “Well I also smell brownies, did you make brownies?” He bowed at Beverly when she nodded excitedly. “Is that American enough for you Eds?”

“Fuck off.”

“Settle down boys.” She interrupted. “Geez, when Richie said you both were running low on sleep I didn’t expect you to be this cranky. Follow me to your room so you guys can get settled, Ben will bring you some wine so you can calm the fuck down.”

“How kind.” Richie yawned, following her up the stairs and through giant halls. “I say you hit the jackpot. A stud with a lovely home, you lucky bitch.”  
  


“I know, I know.” She giggled, stopping at one of the doors down the hall. “By the way, this is the only room on this side of the hall just in case you boys wanna get rowdy. I’m not gonna be a buzzkill like Bill and Mike.”

“You’re an angel Bevvy.” He puckered his lips for a kiss and Eddie smacked his chest with enough power to pull a wheeze from in between them.

“Don’t encourage him.” He begged. “Please.”

“Sure.” She agreed unconvincingly, downing the rest of her glass. “Do your thing then come back down for some drinks. Ben’s actually a pretty nifty bartender.”

“Can I nap on that giant couch after?” Richie’s eyes lit up at just the thought of the enormous white couch that they passed on the way in. “Wait, unless you’ve had sex on it. I wouldn’t blame you though, with a couch that nice I’d be banging on it 24/7.”

“I plead the fifth.” She snorted, waving him away as she made her way back down the stairs.

“Can you maybe control your hormones?” Eddie scolded him once the sound of her footsteps dissipated. “God, I want to duct tape your mouth shut sometimes.”

“Wow, you are cranky.” Richie ignored his question and his remark. “Does whittle Edward need a nappy?” He cooed, making Eddie visibly cringe. 

“You know what, I need wine.” Eddie rolled his eyes, shoving his aside gently so he could pass him. “Just for that, you can unpack my shit. Or you’re not getting laid at all this week.”

Richie knew he was bluffing, but he raised his eyebrows to feign horror. “Oh no! Please forgive me Eds, you know I would perish without that sweet sweet ass-”

“Lower your voice!” Eddie hissed, trying desperately not to laugh. He didn’t want to encourage the embarrassing behavior, but he was getting worse and worse at keeping a straight face around Richie. His loving, stupid, funny, _stupid_ boyfriend. He didn’t even bother replying, afraid he’d crack, so he settled for a silent middle finger as he twisted out of the room and headed back downstairs. “Idiot.” He mumbled on the stairs, finally freeing the smile he was hiding.

Eddie was halfway through his second glass when Richie finally came back downstairs, and he pulled the barstool next to him out for him to sit in, offering him a sweet little smile. It was a way of thanking him for actually unpacking for him, both of them exhausted out of their minds. 

“Benny boy, liquor please.” He begged, resting his forehead onto the counter after planting a small kiss on the top of his boy’s head. Eddie rubbed his back gently as Ben poured him a mixed drink, something with lime.

“Don’t knock out on us yet mister.” Beverly chimed, kicking at his stool lightly. “I was just showing Eddie the house we decided on.”

Almost like an alarm, Richie’s head shot up at her words. “Show me.” He leaned over to watch her open the listing on her phone, hand snaking to mindlessly scratch gently at Eddie’s clothed thigh. “Damn Marsh, that house is bigger than ours.”

_Ours._ Eddie hid his grin and shifted in his seat.

“I’m almost certain you can afford an upgrade.” She snorted, shuffling through several pictures of the home. “It’s a ten minute drive from you guys at most. Four bedroom, two bathroom with a half bath next to the kitchen. Kitchen is huge as you can see. I’m planning on converting one of the bedrooms into a studio for my work. One will be Ben’s office probably.”

“Nice pool Beverly Hills.”

“Good one.” She said sarcastically, pointing to the phone. “The backyard is my favorite, it’s nice and big. Can’t wait to have you guys over for some barbecues.”

Richie clapped his hands together in applause. “Bravo Mrs. Hanscom. You really showed me up. Now I’m gonna have to buy bigger so I don’t let my man down.”

“No.” Eddie pinched the hand that was still rubbing at his thigh. “Don’t be stupid.”

“Mrs. Hanscom. I like that.” Ben nodded towards his soon to be wife. “Did you tell them my favorite part?”

Beverly pointed to the small fine print under the details of the listing. _Tiptop pipeline leading away to CA Renewables - all waste converted into energy._ “No sewers for us.”

Richie and Eddie looked at each other, a tinge of fear even at the mention of sewers. But then the concern in their eyes melted away and both of them broke out into laughter, Richie tossing his head back so that his glasses slid all the way back on his nose, and Eddie covering his face as he giggled into the palm of his hand. Ben and Beverly exchanged a look of confusion mixed with amusement before joining them in snickering.

“Glad it’s funny.” She wiped the corner of her eye. “I’m going to go get Bill and Mike. Richie, if you even think about touching those brownies in there I will have you blacklisted from my wedding. Try me.”

“Woah, settle down honey.” Richie raised his hands up and motioned an x over his chest. “I cross my heart, I won’t strike for the gold.”

“Eddie, I trust you. Keep them away.”

“Hey!” Ben chuckled, squinting at her.

“Sorry handsome, you’ve been eyeing those babies too.” She blew him a kiss with the car keys in hand. “Better safe than sorry.”

“I’ll hold down the fort Bev.” 

“You’re the best! Babe, in like forty minutes can you put the lasagna’s in the oven?”

“Ask Eddie to do it since I can’t be trusted.” He smirked, sipping from his glass innocently. Beverly sucked her lip and squinted at him before opening the door and leaving for the airport.

Everyone was silent, taking another few sips as the car revved out of the driveway and the sound slowly disappeared. Eddie finished the rest of his drink before sliding off of his stool with his glass still in hand. “Ben, where are these brownies Bev speaks of?”

“Kitchen counter.” He furrowed his eyebrows. “Why?”

“I have an idea.”

Richie and Ben scrambled from the minibar to follow him into the kitchen, both watching in absolute astonishment as Eddie uncovered the plate of brownies and watched a knife along with his hands. Taking one of the little squares in hand, he rested the knife just below the bottom and sliced off a thin layer. He repeated the process with every single one on the tray until he had a stack of paper-thin slices before covering the batch again. He cut a small piece of the stack and popped it into his mouth, dividing the rest for the other two men. “Eat up.”

“What the hell kind of trickery is that Eds?” Richie huffed in disbelief before grabbing one of the pieces and chewing it slowly, eyes fluttering. “Ben are these pot brownies?”

Eddie nearly choked on his piece, Richie snickering at his reaction as Ben shook his head and rolled his eyes. “No Rich. Not this batch.”

“This batch?” Richie and Eddie gawked simultaneously. 

“I’m kidding.” Ben chuckled, eyes widening as he chewed. “Eddie where did you even learn this?” It was apparent in his voice how surprised he was that Eddie Kaspbrak, the one who was trusted to protect the brownies, was so sly at sneaking a bite without leaving any evidence.

“My mom used to make brownies for her reading group.” He snorted. “I obviously wasn’t allowed to have any. But you try telling a young boy that he can’t have brownies. And you know she probably counted that shit, I had to think of how I could get my hands on them without them looking tampered with.”

“Somehow I think I just became more attracted to you, baby.”

“Wow, I wasn't sure if it was possible.” Ben gestured to the last piece of the brownie stack for Richie to take it, which was not refused. Thankfully Eddie’s prayers of Ben not harping on the pet name were answered. “Well your secret is safe with me Eddie.”

The understanding was mutual through all three men, a brownie pact right there in Ben’s kitchen. If Beverly noticed while she maneuvered through the kitchen with plates of lasagna, she didn’t say anything. Bill and Mike settled in the room across from Richie and Eddie, only unpacking the bare necessities since they would all be moving into the hotel on the day of the wedding.

Everyone had a hotel room booked so that Ben’s house could get cleaned out before they moved. Understandably, they wanted to get it out of the way while they were out of the house on their honeymoon. Richie wished he knew that before unpacking their entire suitcase.

Bill and Mike seemed to be going well, still steady and naturing like they both always were. Just looking at them, it was almost impossible to tell that they were an item. Aside from light touches and sweet smiles from across the room, they didn’t exhibit much PDA. It was a stark contrast from Richie and Eddie, who were constantly touching each other and flirting relentlessly through their bickering. Ben and Beverly were in a healthy spot in between the other two couples, sharing a sweet kiss here and there while Bev sat gingerly in his lap.

It was late when they finished eating Bev’s lasagna, which was pretty damn good for someone who kept doubting their cooking abilities. Everyone toasted to the soon to be bride and groom with a brownie in hand, Eddie, Richie, and Ben all exchanging knowing looks. 

Thankfully, both Ben and Bev wanted to sleep in their last day before the wedding, granting the others time to catch up on some much needed sleep. They didn’t have much planned for their joint bachelor/bachelorette party, but Richie had some idea. He always did.

“You’re crazy.” Eddie hummed with a smile into his pillow, still too tired to open his eyes and face his boyfriend, even after hearing such a wild idea.

“C’mon babe it would be awesome.” Richie snickered, petting Eddie’s hair to ease him from his sleepy state. “It’ll be just like when we were kids.”

“Mm. Okay.”

“So you’ll help?” 

“I mean, yeah, I’ll do it for Ben and Bev.” Eddie yawned, slowly but surely blinking his eyes open. “We’re gonna need more help though for this to work out. Tell Bill and Mike.”

“It needs to stay a secret though.”

“It will. Just tell them.” He cleared his throat before rubbing his eyes like a small child. _So cute._ “And give me at least another five minutes.”

Richie obliged, giving Eddie his task before traveling to Bill and Mike’s room across the hallway. “You guys awake?” He knocked a little tune onto the door, grinning when he heard Bill sigh loud enough for him to hear it.

“Yeah Richie, we’re awake.” Mike answered, and Richie could hear the smile on his face.

“Cool… you guys boning or can I come in?”

“Jesus, n-no.” Bill stammered, Mike laughing along. “You still can’t though.”

“Okay I’m coming in.” He warned, opening the door just barely so he could make sure he wasn’t actually interrupting anything. “So, I need your help.”

“What did you do?” Mike raised an eyebrow as he stretched his big arms above his head. 

“What? I didn’t do anything!” Richie huffed. “Yet.”

“Oh no.”

“Hear me out!” He plopped himself at the end of their bed so he could whisper. “So I wanna do something special for Ben and Bev. You guys in?”

“Please tell me it’s not strippers.”

“Mikey, you dog! No, it’s not strippers.”

“We’re gonna need more information before w-we agree to anything.”

“You’re gonna love this idea.” Richie smirked, rubbing his hands together like a man with a plan. 

The plan was going well so far, having given everyone their tasks. He’d convinced Beverly that he had the night covered, begging Ben to stay a little later into the night than he’d planned before going to the hotel attached to the wedding venue. They wanted to keep the tradition of not sleeping together the night before the wedding or even seeing each other the day of until she walked down the aisle. It was sweet, sickeningly so.

The boys had all signaled to Richie that they’d done their part, and Richie could barely contain his excitement. Beverly had to have noticed how jittery he’d been all day, suspicious of his sudden insistence of taking control of the night. But she trusted him, they all did.

That made him even more excited. 

“Pour up some drinks Benny.” Richie all but ordered, having everyone sit on the couch while he set up the giant tv. It was the only one in the house that wasn’t packed up, to Richie’s delight. It would’ve been a little cramped to have everyone watching on his laptop. “I’ve prepared a small speech to start this lovely evening.” He cleared his throat with a posh accent. 

“Richie.” Beverly giggled, palming her face. “What is happening?”

“You’ll see darling.” He grinned, rubbing his hands together. “We’ve gathered here today to celebrate the splendid Beverly Marsh and Ben Hanscom. Joined together in holy matrimony-”

“Is this a rehearsal for the wedding that we didn’t know about?” Ben bit his lip to hold in a face splitting smile. “Should I be dressed better for this?”

“Shhh.” Richie raised a finger to his lips, petting his hair gently. “Hush now sweet Benjamin. This is for you and your soon to be wife. Anyway, I know you guys are boring and didn’t want strippers or a night out in the club, so I’m doing the next best thing.”

Richie whipped out a little black block, amused by all of the confusing looks he received. He didn’t say a word as he plugged it into the side of the tv with the cord, grabbing the remote and searching through the settings. It took him a minute to find what he was looking for, his knee bouncing up and down with Giddiness. “Wala!” 

“Oh my god.” Beverly gasped when the image of her twelve year old self appeared on the screen. Richie hit play and she started dancing, twirling around the living room of Bill’s house, jumping up and down to the beat playing in the background while the rest of the boys watched. The audio was slightly muffled, but it looked like she was trying to convince them to dance with her. After a few minutes of them all bickering, she reached out of frame and tugged in a very young Ben. He was pudgy, slightly dazed, but very bad at hiding how ecstatic he was that Beverly Marsh wanted to dance with him.

“Wow.” Ben snickered, visibly cringing a bit as he watched his younger self be led around the room like a lost puppy as they “danced” to the muffled music. The video went on for another minute before stopping, and Richie turned back to beam at his friends.

“Where did you get that?” Bev was almost spread out on Ben’s lap, doubled over with laughter. Bill was trying desperately not to laugh, Mike squeezing his hand tightly so he could hold it in too. Eddie bit down on his fist to hide the smile that was making his face hurt.

“Mags and Went had a bunch of old home videos that they dropboxed me. Do you know how hard it is to explain to a bunch of boomers how to copy videos from tape onto a computer, then dropbox it? It was hell, I’ll tell you that.” He looked back to the stilled image of small Ben smiling wide at Beverly as she laughed. “I have more.”

“Oh no.” Ben clasped a hand over his face, his flushed skin peeking through. “Please tell me it’s not just of us two.”

“Oh no, I have dirt on everyone!” He smiled at the group, zoning in on Eddie, who looked horrified at the realization that he was included in every one. A video or picture of him could pop up any second, and he knew all too well that Richie wouldn’t hold back in front of their friends.

Yet a part of him swooped at the excited look on Richie’s face, so contagious that even he was starting to look forward to taking a trip down memory lane. Even if they were all still recovering new memories everyday. 

“I think it’s only fair that I expose myself first.” Richie sighed, flicking to a photo of himself of what looked like the eighth grade. His long curls were pulled up in little ponytails across his head, deadpanning into the camera behind glasses that were still far too big for his face. In the reflection of one of the lenses was a youthful Maggie Tozier, holding the clunky camera in her hands and laughing at her son. “How was I not getting laid every day looking like such a stud.” He snorted, cringing at himself. 

“My god.” Mike snickered, covering his eyes when the next video started playing, one of him in Richie’s backyard with Ben and Mike, all three of them playing a game of chess. 

“This is when w-we taught you how to play!” Bill laughed, squeezing Mike’s thigh before slapping it with laughter as young Mike incorrectly moved the knight all the way across the board. Young Bill caught his hand and calmly shook his head, smiling slightly when Mike returned it to his side of the board. Young Ben was giggling as he watched, trying to cover it with his hand so that Mike didn’t feel embarrassed. 

“You were a fast learner though.” Ben looked past Bill and smiled at Mike. 

“You guys were very patient.”

“This one is one of my favorites.” Richie hummed, switching to the next video, and sure enough it was of him and Eddie. They were a little older, and Eddie recognized it as Richie’s sixteenth birthday. He knew it for a fact since it was the only birthday party that he got to go to besides Richie’s eighteenth. He’d snuck out of his house and went to the Tozier house so he could give Richie his gift and snag a cupcake. It wasn’t long before Sonia found him, scolding Wentworth and Maggie for “kidnapping” her son. 

He thought he’d ruined Richie’s birthday, but Richie couldn’t disagree more.

The video started with Eddie furrowing his brows at the camera, holding up a hand to block his face as he yelled something that looked like “Beverly”. Richie slowly crept behind him and pulled his hands from his face quickly to place a wet kiss on the side of his cheek. Eddie’s eyes opened wide and he shoved him away before wiping at his face in earnest, mouth moving way too fast to try and read what he was yelling. The camera turned to Richie cackling before Eddie charged him, smushing a cupcake in his face as the video ended. 

“You don’t mind my kisses anymore, right Eds?” Richie smirked at him, replaying it just to see how red little Eddie’s face got.

“Shut up.” He huffed, trying not to mimic the same shade of red. “Move on.”

Richie had some gems of Eddie saved, sprinkled among plenty of other videos and photos of his friends through various stages of their childhood. He felt high with love for them, and it wasn’t just because of Ben’s delicious mixed drinks. Richie loved all of them, almost overwhelmed with the feeling of just pure adoration, so much that it physically hurt.

Which is why it didn’t hurt any less when he clicked onto the next video, the camera shakily panning across the fields next to the train tracks. Richie pointed the camera straight at Eddie first, immediately having it be smacked away to aim at Beverly and Mike walking up front with Ben behind them. The camera turned to Richie, who looked like he’d broken his glasses for the thousandth time.

Stan and Bill were behind him, rolling their eyes at the stupid faces Richie made into the camera. It didn’t take long before they were both giggling behind him, Stan smiling directly into the lens as the video stopped. He looked young but more mature than anyone else in the group. They were probably in their first years of high school, still kids but slowly growing older by the day. And to see him smiling and so carefree, after all of the time of him being gone, it fucking hurt.

The room was silent. 

Richie couldn’t bring it in him to turn around just yet, trying to compose himself before he started sobbing like an idiot. It didn’t make it any easier when he heard sniffles coming from behind him. He clicked to the next one, a picture this time, of all of them minus Richie who was probably holding the camera sitting on the shelf of rocks above the quarry. The one they’d always jump from and picnic near.

Eddie and Beverly were flipping him off, smiles on both of their faces. Ben and Mike weren’t even paying attention, looking down at a book too grainy to make out. Bill looked half asleep, laying down with his head in Beverly’s lap and legs draped over Mike’s. Stan was the only one standing, bird watching binoculars in hand, another smile on his face. Richie exhaled the breath he didn’t realize he was holding, and he wiped underneath his glasses before turning to the rest of the group.

For the most part, they were smiling. Somber, heart-aching smiles, but smiles nonetheless. Bill was the first to speak. “Y-you should send these to his wife.”

Richie hadn’t even thought about it before. The last thing he wanted to do was open up any wounds, because even he was hurting. But it was a different hurt, still a sharp yet dull ache in his heart, hard to even describe. It was beautiful, just to see him smiling. His character lived on through the videos and pictures, the memories they all had of him. He’d never really be gone.

“Yeah.” Richie swallowed thickly. “I will.”

“I wish he was here.” Bev smiled, turning her face to catch the tear running down her cheek. Ben kissed her temple, gripping her a little tighter. Mike and Eddie stayed mostly silent, but it was clear that they were hurting just as much. Richie could tell from a mile away that Eddie was just trying to hold it together, and he had the instinct to say something, _anything_ to make his friends feel better.

But as soon as Richie opened his mouth, the doorbell rang. The dumbass, even though it was his whole plan, was confused and startled for a moment. It took his brain a minute to catch up and another ring of the bell for him to make his way to the door, assuring Ben that he could answer.

It was the pizza and the Chinese food delivery guys exchanging awkward small talk while Richie opened the door. The pizza guy, a younger boy maybe still in college, definitely recognized Richie but he chose not to say anything considering he was still on the verge of tears. Thankfully, he’d paid in advance and grabbed both pies and the bag of Chinese food, bidding them both farewell before closing the door.

“What did you do man?” Ben raised an eyebrow as Richie set the food on the coffee table.

“I hope you guys remember take out night-”

“No you fucking didn’t!” Bev gasped, looking around at the others. “You all knew didn’t you!?”

“I had to gather reinforcements to make sure that the food came close to the same time.” Richie held up a hand to count fingers. “We’ve got pizza, Chinese food, burritos, burgers, Italian… we’ve got it all baby. Just like we were kids.”

It was tradition at Big Bill’s house. The weekend before school started back up in Derry was always one last hoorah for the losers, every single year. They’d order every takeout imaginable and sit around watching movies till they fell into food induced comas. This was no different.

They sat around eating, careful not to dirty the white couch, watching more home videos. There were pictures of them just hanging out, in the clubhouse, outside, in Bill’s house, and occasionally in Richie’s backyard. There were prom photos and pictures from graduation, which is when the group decided to step up their drinking as they made fun of each other. 

They all filled out nicely, Bill and Stan looking relatively the same as they always did. Grown but in a young way. Mike was taller than both of them, arms draped around their shoulders for the picture as he towered over them. Ben was still a little chunky but he was much more built, his bowl cut replaced by a cut more suitable for his slowly chiseling jaw. Beverly stayed slender with her pale skin, striking eyes and fiery hair. Her curls had grown out more, but were no match for Richie’s.

Eddie didn’t remember until he was looking at the photo, but Richie was hot. 

Not in a conventional way, he wasn’t “ken doll” pretty like Bill or Stan, and he wasn’t “boy next door” charming like Ben or Mike. He was a whole other category, something special that wasn’t often seen in Derry. He was just so… Richie. 

His style was always goofy and uncoordinated, just like his personality. And he was almost as tall as Mike in the photo, what were once thin and gangly limbs turned into strong arms and broad shoulders, tall legs that popped against his jeans. His “glow up”, as the kids call it, was far more recognizable by the time they were seniors than anyone else in the group.

On the other hand, Richie saw how similar Eddie looked. He was always beautiful, gorgeous when they were kids and all the way to graduation. He was still small, sure, but his shoulders also started to fill out, his legs muscular from his mother agreeing to let him start track his sophomore year. His hair was combed back neatly, his shirt perfectly ironed and collar perfectly situated around his neck. Richie itched in his spot on the couch to mess it up.

He looked over to him now, grinning at how much more free he was. Eddie was still very put together, very much still obsessed with being neat, but now his hair fell free in small tufts, longer than it had been in years. He was wearing one of his little polos but didn’t bother to button the top button, exposing a sliver of his neck and collar bone. 

Eddie had the same idea, he blinked at the photo for another minute before turning to Richie to look at him now. Same old idiot. Still absolutely perfect.

Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was just all of the emotions from memory lane bubbling up to the surface, but Richie leaned in to press a soft kiss to his lips. He didn’t give a fuck if it was weird to show PDA in front of their friends, it was the last thing he was thinking about actually. No one said anything, not even a quick joke or tease when they pulled away.

Beverly made it clear that she, one, didn’t want everyone to drink too much before her wedding, and two, that they didn’t stay up too late. Ben had to leave soon to go to the hotel anyway…

“Benjamin!” Richie gasped, catching the time. “Good sir, before you leave, please take a seat for the last part of your bachelor party.”

“Oh no.” Ben murmured, looking over at Eddie.

“I have no idea what’s happening, I can’t help you.” He laughed, watching him sit hesitantly onto the couch, back down next to Beverly.

“Now my dear Ben, I know you said no strippers- hold on, wait, hear me out!” Richie cackled, eating up the way Ben looked confused, scared, embarrassed, and slightly amused all at the same time. “So you’re gonna get the next best thing. A lap dance from yours truly.”

“You’re not serious.” Bev snorted, almost coughing up her drink when Richie hit play on the speaker and straddled her fiance's legs, shaking his hips to the beat.

“These hips don’t lie Marsh!” He winked. “Don’t be jealous!”

“I’m very jealous, Tozier.”

Eddie watched him from his seat, vibrating from laughter as he tried his best at giving the soon to be newlyweds a joint lap dance. Bill plopped down next to him, raising his beer to Mike, who was shuffling through songs for Richie to twerk to. “So, how’s the divorce going?”

Eddie spat out his drink a little, earning him what was probably the kindest glare he’s ever received, courteous of Ben. Luckily he caught it all, saving the pristine couch from disaster. “It’s nearing the end I think. Our mediator said three to six months at most. We are on month four maybe? I think she’s given up on fighting me.”

“Good f-for you.” He clinked their glasses together. “If you need anything, just reach out okay?”

“Thanks Bill.” While Bill understood the divorce process, he actually liked his wife, unlike Eddie and Beverly. He did feel sort of alone though, considering that Bill and Beverly were able to fly through the divorce process, since Audra supported Bill and Beverly was able to prove domestic violence. But Eddie and Myra never got physical, it didn’t go that far. But she didn’t necessarily support him either. “I might just take you up on that offer.” He smiled, looking up to see Beverly just before she poked him in the forehead gently. 

“Hey, no spitting drinks in our living room. We don’t want the poor cleaners and moving people to hate us.” She dropped the act immediately, plopping down where Bill left to go stop Richie from grinding on Mike. “I really missed you both.” 

“You just saw us for Bill’s Birthday.” He reminded her.

“That’s too long. I can’t wait to live next to you guys so we can do this more.”

The more he thought about it, the more it made him excited too. He knew that Richie had to be just as excited, if not more. They both lit up when either Ben or her brought up the fact that they would soon be close by. Eddie wasn’t sure if the thought was making him feel warm and tingly or if it was just his third drink of the night. Or if it was Richie shaking his hips in front of Bill like he was going to challenge him to a dance-off or something. 

_You stupid, cute idiot._ “Richie.” Eddie laughed, beckoning him over. “Yeah you. C’mere.” Richie raised his eyebrows at him, abandoning his post in front of Bill, who looked extra thankful that he didn’t have to dance. He sauntered across the room to where he was sitting and huffed out a small laugh when Eddie patted his legs for him to sit.

“What’s up baby?” Richie straddled him, curling around him like a koala. A giant koala. 

“You’re making me jealous, why haven’t I gotten a lap dance before?” 

He pulled away and looked down at him incredulously, a large hand moving to rub at his back as he stayed in the shorter man’s lap. “Wait you- you want me to give you a lap dance? Are you drunk, where’s my Eddie?” 

“I’m not drunk, I’m tipsy.” 

“Right, _tipsy._ ” 

“Don’t patronize me. I know how to let loose, I can be fun sometimes.” 

Richie dropped his head back all the way with a laugh, and if he didn’t look so damn beautiful when he was laughing Eddie might’ve pushed him off of his lap. “God you’re fucking cute. You little fun machine.” 

Eddie didn’t care that everyone else was in the room, probably because he was tipsy, and he pulled Richie down for a searing kiss to shut him up. It shouldn’t have lasted as long as it did, especially with their friends in the room. Richie definitely shouldn't have stuck his tongue down his throat, and Eddie probably shouldn't have let out a soft little moan. 

“Okay we’ve gotta go before they start g-getting handsy.” Bill sneered even though Richie was already occupying his lap, calling over to Ben so they could get a start for the hotel. He was slightly wobbly on his feet, but Ben made sure that he stayed sober so at least one of them was fit to drive. Plus, he and Beverly didn’t want to risk waking up with a hangover on their wedding day either.

“They are always handsy.” He chuckled, pulling her in for one last kiss before they were married. Their last kiss before he got to kiss her as his bride. 

“Leave them alone.” She smiled at him, gently caressing his cheek before she forced herself to step back so that he could follow Bill. “Your guy’s tuxes should be at the hotel. I don’t want anyone seeing them till tomorrow.” She rolled her eyes at the number of groans she received. “You’ll thank me later boys. I want tomorrow to be magical for everyone.”

“Any chance you made mine in Hawaiian print?”

“No chance.” She feigned a gag. “The suits are custom made by muah, I wouldn’t risk my reputation trying to replicate your style.”

“Wowww. Fuck it, maybe I’ll have to just fix it up a little bit myself.”

Eddie knew it was an obvious bluff, but he’d explode if he couldn’t respond to that. “You do that, you’re finding another date.” He threatened, even though they all knew he didn’t mean it in the slightest.

“Mm, but you’ve still got me in your lap though.”

“Yeah, I’m going to bed.” Mike laughed before Eddie could even respond or before they started kissing again, rubbing at his eyes. “I’ll see you all tomorrow. Big day!” He stole a quick peck from Bill and patted Ben’s shoulder before they left and he retreated upstairs. 

Beverly turned to Richie and Eddie who finally untangled themselves and got up, eyes partially glossy as she grinned at them. “Thank you guys, really, this was the best. I loved every second.”

“It was Richie’s idea. He has good ones sometimes.”

“Well it means so much to have you _both_ here to support me. Really, it means the world to me.”

“Anything for you Bevvy.” Richie said softly, far too genuine for someone who was just dancing on everyone. Eddie nodded in agreement, both of them getting pulled into a group hug.

She exhaled deeply in between them all, humming as they all embraced for a moment. Then quietly, as if she was continuing her heartfelt appreciation, she spoke. “I know one of you bastards touched my brownies. But I’ll let it slide since tonight was so much fun.”

“Well that was fun.” Richie sighed, spreading out on the guest bed like a starfish. He practically took up the whole thing with his large chest, torso, limbs… Eddie was getting dizzy just thinking about it. “Did you enjoy me exposing us all?”

“Sure.” He snorted, shoving Richie over to make room as he slid an oversized band tee over his body. He climbed in next to him, thinking about everything going on, the pictures, the videos, the stupid brownies. Their friends getting married, them being able to celebrate that with them. The thought of being Ben’s best man and seeing Richie walk Bev down the aisle… 

“Hey.” Richie’s shit eating grin quickly turned into a frown. “What’s wrong?”

Eddie didn’t even realize he was crying, holding in a breath, suddenly feeling a wave of mixed emotions crash over him. He laughed at himself for a second before he continued crying, hiccuping and inching closer so that Richie could hold him. “I don’t know.” He confessed.

“Are these happy tears or sad tears?”

“Both maybe.” He breathed in deeply, trying to get it back under control. “I’m very excited for Beverly and Ben. But I think I might have some post-marriage PTSD that I forgot until now. I don’t fucking know. And Stan… I loved seeing him but it just reminded me that he’s not here.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault Richie.” He shook his head, pressing a kiss to the junction of his neck. “Tonight was great. I’m just emotional, that’s all.”

“It’s okay.” Richie assured him. “Tomorrow is gonna be great too. _I can feel it in me bones._ ”

“Did you have to end with the pirate voice?” He laughed into his shoulder, pinching his sides lightly. For the beyond millionth time in his life, Richie was able to calm him. Like he was made for it, like they were made for each other and each other only. They were both more than okay with that.

“Did it make you feel better?”

“Yeah.” He admitted without much hesitation, running his lips over more of Richie’s neck. “Sorry, I don’t know why I’m being like this.” He relaxed in his arms, fully pressed into him.

“Don’t apologize baby.” Richie smiled, peppering soft kisses in his hair. “If you want, I’m sure Ben and Bev wouldn’t mind you leaving for the hotel with us in the morning.”

“No, I can’t do that.” Eddie shook his head, knowing full well that they would make any accommodations if he needed, but he didn’t want to be that person. “I’d be the worst best man of all time, I need to be there for Ben. Plus I need to bring the rest of Beverly’s things to the hotel before you guys get there. I’m not going to ruin the plan because I’m being a sap.”

“It’s gonna be okay.” And Eddie believed him. Even though he could be a complete idiot at times, Richie was undoubtedly smart and intuitive. He just knew things, and he could pick things up flawlessly. Eddie learned quickly that he was the single most reliable person he’d ever met. The person who made him feel safe, made him feel loved. If it wasn’t for Richie, he was certain he would’ve cried himself to sleep and woke up terribly anxious in the morning.

Richie knew how he could get sometimes. Which is why he was somewhat alarmed when he woke up to an empty bed, Eddie nowhere in sight. He checked the bathroom first, praying that he wasn’t in there worrying himself sick or forcing himself into a panic attack. To his relief, he wasn’t there. He made his way downstairs, peeking his head into the living room, still to no avail.

He let out a sigh of relief when he turned into the kitchen, spotting him next to the sink as he fiddled with the toaster. His hair was still sticking up in all different directions as it usually did when he woke up, but he was dressed in a pair of dark blue jeans and a pastel blue polo. It was funny how he still insisted on dressing presentably when he would have to change into his tux and get all dolled up at the hotel. Beverly practically had a team for each of them to help them all get ready. Eddie spotted him on his way over to him, smiling and nodding to the coffee pot.

“Morning. If you want some it’s still hot.”

“Morning cutie. Don’t mind if I do.” He yawned, even though he moved to wrap his arms around him before even trying to grab a cup of coffee. “You’re up early.”

“I know, I didn’t want to rush. Bill’s on his way to pick me up.” He took one of the bagel halves out of the toaster and placed it on a plate, taking a bite out of his before moving the other half and tilting his head back onto Richie’s shoulder. “Thankfully no one woke up with hangovers, that would’ve sucked. Cream cheese or butter?”

“Awe you made breakfast?” Richie kissed his cheek with a small squeeze of his torso from behind him, grabbing the container of cream cheese. “You’re so sweet.”

“It’s just a bagel Rich.” Eddie turned his head and raised his eyebrows in amusement before turning his head back to his plate. “We both know you’re the cook. You make a good housewife.”

It was true, Richie was the cook. He even did the dishes, even if that sometimes meant he left the occasional fork half cleaned. He couldn’t help but not like doing dishes, gagging horribly every time he touched a piece of soggy food.

But either way, he had to do it. He was often reminded that he lived alone for 20+ years. Despite being a slob in most aspects of his life, he actually knew how to keep the house neat since he never had anyone around him to do it for him. That is until he had a housekeeper come by once in a blue moon. He needed to take care of himself, because he had no one else that could. Or that wanted to.

Eddie was the opposite. Sure, he liked keeping things clean and tidy, but he always had someone hovering over him telling him that things needed to be that way. It became a force of habit, but one thing he never did was cook. Richie’s mind hissed at the thought of Myra being the one to cook for him for all of these years. That was Richie’s job now. 

He needed to say something quickly before Eddie got suspicious about his hesitation at being called a housewife. They both knew he’d never let him live it down. He grabbed a cup from the cabinet and poured a substantial amount of coffee to busy himself.

“Pft I bring home more money than you, how can it be that I’m the housewife and the breadwinner? What does that say about you?” When it came out of his mouth he instantly felt bad, hoping that it didn’t come across as mean or degrading.

Thankfully, Eddie tilted his head up towards the ceiling with a small laugh, slightly muffled by the bagel in his mouth. “Touché. Well then, I guess that makes me your sugar baby.”

Richie swallowed hard at the title, nearly choking on his coffee. “You still have a job though, I don’t think that fits with being a sugar baby-”

“I’m not talking about that kind of sugar.” He finally turned to him, a devilish little smirk on his face. He knew that the blush on Richie’s face and the way his fingers gripped the mug tightly meant that he’d won that round. Regardless, Richie refused to admit defeat.

“Oh you dog.” Richie barked out a laugh, clutching at his stomach while picking up half of his bagel. “Is that what our arrangement is? I cook for you _and_ supply you with my dick? Your job is to sit there and look pretty while I do it, huh?”

Eddie’s face wrinkled at his choice of words, but he was still smiling nonetheless. “Pretty sure I supply you in exchange. I put out more than you do actually.”

“No you do not!”

“I begged you to fuck me the other day.” He huffed. “You never beg to fuck me. Or for me to fuck you.” It was a fat lie, Richie never went a single day without begging to touch him. Eddie just wanted him to admit it, admit that he was just as desperate for it.

But Richie squinted and played along. “Is that a challenge? Because I’ll beg right now.”

“We have things to do.” He raised an eyebrow, biting into his other half. 

“A quickie before you have to go?”

“I’m eating.”

“But… please?”

“That’s your begging?” Eddie laughed darkly. “Weak.”

“I will literally do anything for sex, you know this. I’ll even...” He paused to feign a shudder. “Clean up the dishes.”

“Wow!” He gasped sarcastically in amazement, pointing at the near empty sink. “There are literally two fucking dishes! Not an even trade for sex.”

“You just said it yourself, sex is a gain for both of us!”

“Stop talking about sex in my kitchen you damn teenagers.” Bev yawned, padding her way towards the coffee maker. “I can’t tell if you’re flirting or just bickering, probably both, but it’s too early for it. Today is going to be insane enough as it is.”

“Oh Bevvy, aren’t we always bickering and flirting?” Richie cooed, blowing Eddie a kiss as he slung an arm around her.

“Always.” She repeated with a small smile and a nod while she poured her coffee. “You know I don’t actually want you to stop. I’m just- really nervous. It’s stupid.”

“I bet you Ben will be a nervous wreck too once I get to the hotel. You’re doing great.”

“Thanks Eds.” She said sweetly. “Even though I haven’t really done anything yet.”

“You planned everything.” He reminded her. “And you aren’t having a mental crisis like I did when I got married.”

“Well you married a woman.” She laughed. 

“See, you’re already doing much better than me.” He rubbed her back gently as he pulled one arm through the sleeve of his coat. “You’re gonna be just fine. Rich, you’ve got our bags right?”

“Check.”

“Good, don’t forget anything.” He snapped his head to the door at the two loud beeps, signaling that Bill was there to pick him up and bring him to the hotel. “Love you both, see you there. And Richie.” He pointed a stern finger at him. “Wear a goddamn coat, it’s winter. Like, real winter.”

“Aye aye, Captain.” He saluted as Eddie quickly made his way to the door with bags of Bev and Ben’s things. “Love you too!” Eddie stopped halfway across the threshold to flash them both a little smile before whipping his head back to the driveway and closing the door behind him.

“Quick question.” Beverly hummed, sipping her coffee slowly. “How do you stop yourself from throwing up? Asking for a friend…”

“Uh, I’d maybe stop drinking coffee first.” He carefully took the mug from her shaking hands and set it down onto the counter. “What’s the matter?”

“Told you, I’m nervous.”

“About what?” He smiled, setting his mug down too to wrap his arms around her for a comforting hug. “Like my boy Eds said, you’re doing great. Everything is gonna be alright.”

“What if I fuck up?”

“It’s a wedding Bevvy, not America’s Next Top Model. Even though if it was, you’d win-”

“Not that!” She laughed, squeezing him tightly. “What if I’m a terrible wife? What if he hates being married to me?”

“We both know there’s not a chance in hell that’s happening Marsh. Benny boy has been in love with you for almost as long as I’ve been in love with Eddie. Not that it’s a competition or anything because I’m pretty much unbeatable when it comes to that shit.” He snorted. “We’re just both romantics at heart, what can I say. You’re lucky to have him, and he is beyond lucky to have you. Hey, this is going to be amazing for both of you okay? I promise.”

“Okay.” She nodded. “You’re right.”

“Damn right I am! And if anyone tries anything, I’m not above axing people.”

“Has enough time passed for us to be able to joke about that?” She asked with a grin.

“We’ve been through a lot, I think this can slide.”

They had been through a lot. Beverly more than him. Poor thing had suffered abuse from her own father, lived the past few decades with even more abuse from someone who also should’ve loved her, yet she still risked her life a second time to face IT. He figured that maybe he and Bev were so close not just because they were similar in personality, but her story was so akin to Eddie’s. Parental and spousal abuse, manipulation, sadness, loneliness. Beverly deserved the best, and she was finally getting it. Richie only hoped and prayed that he could give Eddie what he deserved too.

“Richard?” She asked, raising a confused eyebrow. “Earth to Tozier, snap out of it!”

“Sorry.” He blinked. “What did you say?”

“Are you ready for my team to get here? They will be dressing us, doing hair, all that fun stuff.”

“Oh yeah, I’m ready whenever you are. Is Mike awake yet?”

“I saw him when I left my room to come down here. He’s up, I think he’s reading or something. He hasn’t changed.” She shook her head with a giggle. “Listen Trashmouth, whatever is going on up in that big head of yours, keep it together. You are my crisis manager for the day, I need you.”

“Yes ma’am.” He winked, swallowing the last sip of his coffee and proceeding to pour the rest of hers down the sink. When Beverly had said she was designing everyone’s suits, Richie knew that they were going to be outstanding. 

But when he was finally helped into his, he hardly recognized himself in the mirror. Bev’s team had really outdone themselves, making his hair tame and shiny, the curls still very much present but not messy or tangled. It was slicked back just a little bit so his face wasn’t being covered, and they exfoliated his skin before letting him put his glasses back on. She insisted that everyone was getting similar treatment, getting all dolled up. The process took longer than he expected, especially for Beverly who absolutely knocked his socks off when she met him in the living room. 

She wasn’t in her dress yet, that was waiting at the hotel for her so it didn’t get damaged on their way there, but her hair and makeup were finished. Richie swore that he’d seen an actual angel, blessed by her beautiful presence. Her hair was up in a high bun, most of her fiery hair contained and out of her face, but a few long strands that were curled to perfection stayed free from the bun, resting just above her shoulders. 

To put it lightly, she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever laid eyes on.

“Holy shit Bevvy.” He rasped, his voice dry and the breath quite literally was stolen from his lungs. “You look fucking incredible.”

“Watch it Tozier, I’m getting married.” She blushed, wiggling her fingers to show her engagement ring.

“Yeah and he’s the luckiest bastard alive.”

“Don’t make me cry, I don’t want to ruin my makeup already.”

“I saw Ashley putting on waterproof shit, I think you’ll be fine.” He snorted, pushing up his glasses to look her over again. “Seriously Bev, you look amazing.”

“Thanks Rich.” She smiled sheepishly. “You look rather dapper yourself.”

“Your team did a great job. Mike looks like a goddamn model.”

“He always looks like a model, I think even Ben is a little jealous.” She waved herself with a whistle. “Let’s go, we don’t want to keep such a good looking fellow waiting in the car.”

“Ah yes, chip chip cheerio to Ben and Beverly’s house. It was great being inside of you.” He wiggled his eyebrows, earning him a cut off laugh and a sigh. “You ready?”

“More ready than ever.”

Richie had no idea how it felt to Mike or Bev, but the drive to the hotel felt like hours to him. Eddie, Bill, and Ben were getting ready in the groom’s room, leaving Richie, Mike, and Bev to the bride’s room. He didn’t know why he was so nervous, but Richie could feel his legs wobbling as they made their way to their room. He sat down quickly, not wanting Bev to notice. 

“Do you need any help?” Mike asked her, watching her and her colleague, Ashley, toying with the dress to carefully remove it from the hanger. It was a pearl strapless dress, and Richie didn’t know anything about wedding dresses but he thought it was called a mermaid dress. Beverly politely declined Mike’s offer and stepped out of her clothes so that she was just in a satin hourglass bustier. It covered her nicely as Ashley carefully helped her into the dress.

“Holy shit Bevvy.” If Richie’s legs felt like jelly before, they were practically numb now. 

Nothing existed in the room but Beverly Marsh. Her hair was still perfect, her fiery hair in stark contrast to her porcelain skin and pearly white dress. Ashley moved behind her carefully to place the floor-length satin veil on her head, the lace around the edges giving it just the right amount of flare, but not enough to take attention away from her.

It was all Bev, absolutely breathtaking in more ways than one. She’d always been that way, a goddess in her own right. A female warrior among a bunch of stupid boys. Always so patient and loving with them, no matter how ridiculous they were. And it dawned on Richie that he’d never thanked her for that.

“You look absolutely amazing Beverly.” Mike nearly gasped, his hand cupped around his chin as he drank in her beauty. He looked emotional too, a flood of happiness and wonder filling his eyes like it could all just spill over at any moment. It was all too much and Richie felt it too.

“Wow, look at these two handsome men looking at little ole me.” She smiled, almost bashful as both men continued to stare at her. “Okay, now you’re making me nervous… Oh God Richie don’t do this to me!”

“It’s not my fault!” He sniffed, wiping frantically at his eyes to stop the tears starting to spill out. “I’m allergic to beauty.”

Beverly’s face cracked into a wider grin, the corners of her lips twitching as she inhaled deeply. “Don’t make me cry too you sap. I need you to be able to see as you walk me down the aisle.”

“You’re both going to make _me_ cry at this rate.” Mike huffed, wiping at his eyes. “You think the other guys are losing it like us?”

“Ben, you look good, I promise.” Eddie assured his friend, pacing around the room like he would crumble if he stopped moving.

“Okay, okay.” He shook his hands out in front of him, pausing just a split second to look at the mirror one more time. “Wow, this is really happening.”

Ben Hanscom was always cool, calm, and collected. A gentle giant for as long as Eddie had known him. He tried desperately to get him back to that point, and stop him from further descending into an anxious mess. “Ben, you gotta breathe man.”

“I know, I know.” He nodded and swallowed hard.

“W-what’s wrong?” Bill asked, putting a hand on his arm to stop his pacing. 

“I don’t know, I’ve never been this nervous. I’ve been waiting for this moment for like… ever. Now it’s here and it’s just- a lot I guess.” 

“You’re gonna be fine.” Eddie reassured him. “Do you remember when we were in eighth grade and the bunker flooded after Richie forgot to shut the hatch properly? She stayed behind to help you scoop out buckets of rainwater dude. That’s love.”

“She ruined her shoes.” He snickered, visibly starting to calm down. “God I forgot about that. I remember being bummed at first, but I wanted to thank Richie after.”

“He works in mysterious ways.” Eddie laughed. “Everything’s gonna be okay. She’s head over heels for you. Pretty sure the feelings are mutual.”

“Yeah.” He smiled, taking a deep breath, letting it out calmly. “Thanks Eddie.”

“Where did you learn to be such a good l-life coach Eddie?” Bill smirked at him, an eyebrow raised in question.

Eddie laughed to himself, shrugging. “Therapy.”

Beverly was still staring at herself after standing in front of the mirror “Am I sweating?” She asked for what had to be the hundredth time.

“No.” Richie and Mike said in unison, checking themselves over in the other mirror. 

“Fuck Bev you’re making me nervous!” Richie hissed at her, fiddling with his bowtie. “If you keep overthinking how drop-dead gorgeous you are I’m gonna light myself on fire.”

“Thank you, I needed that reassurance.” She pursed her lips at him through the mirror.

“Richie, no lighting yourself on fire.” Mike scolded, checking his watch. “I have to go get ready. Are you both going to be okay?”

“Shit is it already time?” 

“Hey, you’re going to be fine.” Mike winked at her, his body halfway out of the door. “Richie, tell her she’ll be fine. You’ve got ten minutes, then it’s go time.”

“And then there were two.” Richie sighed, sitting back down onto the small couch. He bounced his leg up and down nervously. “Bev. Beverly, c’mere.” He patted the space next to him, giving his best puppy eyes at her. She rolled hers, a grin growing on her face as she shuffled towards him, carefully sitting down beside him. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and she instinctively leaned into him, resting her head onto his shoulder, slowly so that her hair wouldn’t be tousled. “Mike’s right you know. You’re gonna be fine. It’s going to be scary for maybe ten minutes but then we are gonna dance the night away, you hear?”

“You’re right.” She nodded. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For doing this for me. I don’t think I could do this again without you.”

“Don’t get me started again, I just stopped crying.”

“Sorry, sorry.” She giggled, eyes glued to the clock as she watched the seconds tick by. “I can’t wait to see him. I know I’m an anxious mess right now but there’s also this part of me that wants to just run up and tackle him. I love him so much.”

“Well he’s pretty obsessed with you.” Richie rubbed her shoulder with his thumb gently. “He wrote you a fucking poem. That’s pretty damn sappy.”

“You carved you and Eddie’s initials into the kissing bridge.” She reminded him with a nudge to his side. _“Twice.”_

“Yeah yeah, let’s focus on you and your sappy man. I’m not the one getting married.”

“Not yet.” She smirked, poking his side again. “Help me up so I don’t rip my dress?”

“Yes your majesty.” He hummed, feeling warm at her comment. _Not yet._ “Come now my lady. We have cute men waiting for us up there!”

“I can’t wait till you see him.” And Richie knew she wasn’t talking about Ben. He grabbed his hands so he could help her up without her having to bend too much, the fabric tight on her slim waist. They walked together, side by side down the long hallway. It was really happening, after all of those long-forgotten years. After years of Ben pining over a girl who was long gone but who he’d never really forgotten, and years of Beverly suffering with Tom, they were both going to be happy. Just like they deserved. 

“You deserve this.” He told her, fixing her thin necklace so that it was perfectly in place. 

“I deserve this.” She repeated, hugging him quickly, her heart pumping against him. 

“Atta girl.” He squeezed her briefly, checking his watch. “Let’s go Molly Ringwald.” He bent his elbow so she could slide her arm through. “Time to marry your Valery Lameignère.”

“I think they divorced in 2002. She’s with Panio Gianopoulos now.”

“Well I fucked that up. But you know what I meant. You’ve got Ben Hanscom, you win.”

“Yeah.” She took a deep breath, smiling to herself and tightening her grip on his arm. “Take that Molly.”

Time seemed to slow as the music started playing in the ballroom. There were some muffled murmurs emanating behind the doors they were standing in front of, only adding to the anticipation. Beverly had a firm grip on her bouquet of flowers and Richie’s arm, and Richie could practically feel her nerves. He was nervous too, for some odd reason, but he stomached it for her. He didn’t really have much of a choice when the doors opened.

It was strange, how time slowed down as they stepped out into the ballroom, past the doors and into the actual venue. It was dimmer than he’d expected, lit up gently by string lights and lanterns on each table that were accompanied by white and dark red roses. Richie only looked at the audience for a moment, seeing mostly Ben’s family and who he thought he recognized as Beverly’s aunt. But it was all over when he finally got his eyes on Eddie.

To say he was fucking beautiful was an understatement. He and Bill were wearing dark grey suits with dark red shirts and grey bow ties just like Richie and Mike. Ben was wearing a black and grey tux with a dark red tie, fitted perfectly to his broad shoulders. But no one compared to Eddie in Richie’s mind. His skin seemed to be glowing under the soft lighting, his big brown eyes sparkling, locked with Richie as he stood behind Mike and Ben. 

Richie couldn’t feel his legs, surprised that he could keep walking normally, linked with Beverly as they made their way down the aisle. The maybe fifteen foot walk felt like miles. When they finally reached the others, they unhooked their arms and Beverly threw her arms over Richie’s neck, nuzzling into his neck quickly. It pulled a couple of awes from the people gathered and she whispered quietly into his ear, emotional. “Thank you. Thank you”

He brushed a hand over her side gently before stepping back next to Bill, behind Mike and across from Eddie, facing him. They both smiled at each other briefly, eyes staying locked as Mike started speaking. Richie hoped that the recording was really good, because his hearing was far away from him, and everything sounded like it was underwater. Even through the distortion, Richie was sure that the famed words “January embers” and “winter fire” made their way into Ben’s vows. Beverly’s vows were also short, and he caught most of it, but Richie’s eyes did not leave Eddie’s until the magic words were exchanged.

“I do.” They both said, hand in hand as they smiled wide at Mike, who finally gave them the go-ahead. There were a few hollers and a great deal of applause as they were pronounced husband and wife. They shared a passionate kiss, holding each other close like they were afraid to let go, like they finally had what they always wanted and were afraid to let go.

“They grow up so fast.” Richie mumbled to Bill, sniffling as the two of them swayed in each other's arms, exchanging sentiments unknown to anyone else. _Keep it together Tozier._

“Leave them alone.” He snorted. “Good job, you sounded great.” He wrapped an arm around Mike’s torso, standing up on his tippy toes to peck his cheek. 

“Thank you.” Mike smiled down at him before nodding at Richie and Eddie. “See you at the table!” They both walked off towards their designated table, quickly stopping to hug the newlyweds as they walked around to greet the other guests.

“Hey.” Eddie nudged him, running a hand up his sleeve. “You look good. Really good.”

“Woah, who is this hottie hitting on me?” Richie slid his hand down Eddie’s back, grinning at the exasperated eye roll he received. “You come here often?”

“We’re literally at a wedding-” Eddie stifled a laugh, deciding to just play along. “Sorry sir, I have a boyfriend.”

“That’s a shame.” Richie clicked his tongue. “You look ravishing.”

“Keep it in your pants Tozier.” He huffed, grabbing his hand and lacing their fingers together. “At least until tonight.”

“Mm is that a promise?” 

“Maybe if you behave yourself.” He bit down on his lip to prevent a laugh, dragging him towards the Losers’ table. Ben’s family was situated at the surrounding tables, and there was a decent amount of them that showed up. The girls were wearing varying shades of red, and the guys were wearing mostly plain black and white tuxes with red ties. Beverly wanted her Losers to stand out as special, and she designed theirs to be unique. The dark red undershirts for sure made them stand out a little more.

“Red is your color.” Richie hummed, just staring at Eddie, who was surveying the room almost like he was gathering intel. 

“Every color is your color.” His eyes flickered back to his, smiling softly. “You’re hot.”

“Wowwee Eds. Don’t get me all riled up.” He leaned back in his chair, peeking at the bar, which line was much shorter than it was when the ceremony first ended. “I’m gonna grab a drink, you want something?”

“Uh, sure.” He shrugged. “Get me something you think I’d like. I’m going to see how Ben is doing.”

“Roger that honey.” He winked, booping his nose before making his way over to the open bar, ordering a few drinks. He bumped into a few people on the way, a few of Ben’s cousins and colleagues, all were very nice and even a couple of them mentioned being fans. He was even offered some congratulations on SNL and Late Night. 

He ended up getting himself a glass of whiskey, something that he normally wouldn’t have chosen to drink at a wedding but he couldn't help himself. There was a cranberry cocktail of sorts that looked suitable to Eddie, so he ordered one with a lime wedge and carried them back over to their table. Eddie wasn’t back yet, and he wasn’t standing with Ben so it took Richie a moment to scan the entire ballroom to finally find him.

He was standing rigid to the side of the room conversing with a few women, and Richie couldn’t help but snort at how uncomfortable he looked. He didn’t blame the young ones for trying to flirt, Eddie was looking absolutely edible in his suit, toying with his bow tie nervously with his other hand in his pocket, trying desperately to look relaxed. But Richie saw through him.

When Eddie’s eyes finally found him, he shot him a pained smile and Richie knew exactly what he was trying to communicate. _Help me._

He took a long, drawn out sip of his whiskey and put it back down, standing up to brush off his suit so that he could go rescue his boy. Eddie was not someone who needed to be rescued. He was brazen, brave, and loud. He could easily have walked away on his own, excusing himself from the conversation and avoiding them for the rest of the night.

But Eddie was also nice. As much as he acted like a feisty little gremlin on the outside, he was soft and caring. Like a fucking tootsie roll pop, hard on the outside and soft on the inside. Eddie was a little turd with Richie, but to everyone else he was almost sickeningly polite. Richie carefully made his way over to the small group, wrapping an arm around Eddie’s waist and planting a wet kiss to his temple. “There you are.”

“Hi.”

“Hey.” He smirked down at him, his thumb caressing his lower back. “I got you your drink, it’s back at the table.” He turned to the girls, smiling at them all politely. “Hi ladies.”

They all exchanged simple greetings, brief small talk about how nice the reception was. The girls decided amongst themselves that they wanted to hit the dancefloor, and Richie and Eddie took the opportunity to escape back to their table.

“Thanks.” Eddie sighed, sitting back down on his chair, body relaxing back to normal. “What’s this?”

“Cranberry Cocktail.”

“I love you.” He chirped with a dreamy smile as he raised the glass to his mouth and sipped carefully. He swallowed, registering the flavor and nodding his head. “So good.”

“Bar is open, we’ve got access all night.”

“I’m not getting drunk at our friends’ wedding.” He laughed, looking over to the group of girls dancing. “Unless I get ambushed by Ben’s family again.”

“Well they do have a right to know who Ben’s best man is.” He sipped his whiskey, trying not to down the whole glass in one shot. “How is he?”  
  


“He’s really happy. I think they’re both doing great. They are making their rounds saying hi to everyone and then Beverly said she wants to dance.” He sipped his cocktail again, savoring it this time. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah I’m fine, why?”

“You drink bourbon when you’re nervous.”

“Oh.” He hummed, swirling what was left of his drink around the glass. “I’m just getting loosened up for dancing. And the speech I’ve been nominated by both of them to make.”

“The toast?” He raised an amused eyebrow. “I think you’ll be fine. You’re good with words.”

“Oh yeah? Should I slip in some of the new material?”

“No.” Bill jutted in at the same time Mike said “Yes”, the both of them taking their seats at the table. They each had their own drink in hand, both dark liquors from what Richie could tell. “We just talked to Bev’s aunt. She’s still super c-cool.” 

“Ben’s family is cool too.” Mike agreed. “Everyone we’ve spoken to has been really nice.”

“They’d be even nicer if they didn’t try to fuck my boyfriend.”

“Richie!” Eddie hissed, looking around to make sure no one heard. 

“Woah woah, who’s trying to fuck Eddie?” Beverly sat down in the seat next to him, pinching his cheek teasingly. He hid behind his glass, face almost as red as his cocktail. “One of you handsome old men has to dance with me right now. I’ll get all of you eventually.”

“Pass, I’m working on my speech.” Richie downed the rest of his glass finally.

“Fine.” She rolled her eyes. “Eddie, dance with me until my husband returns. Bill and Mike, you’re next so no running away.”

He didn’t even attempt to get out of it, gulping the last of his cocktail and pushing it to the middle of the table so he could stand up and follow her. “Is this some weird way to make Ben jealous?”

“No, it’s a weird way to make those girls that have been staring at you all night jealous.” She placed a hand onto his biceps and the other on his hip, swinging them around. “Are you having a good time?”

“I’m having a great time.” He laughed, letting her spin him whichever way she pleased. They twirled around underneath the soft light, giggling like kids and just dancing like no one else was watching. Even when he knew people were watching him, Eddie didn’t care. If there was anyone other than Richie who could make him feel comfortable in a room full of strangers, it was Beverly. They danced for two or three songs before Ben came back over to them to steal his wife back, almost hesitantly, looking delighted to see his wife and best man having so much fun.

“Richie’s outside on the patio.” He said before Eddie could even ask. 

The moment Eddie opened the giant glass doors to the patio overlooking the front of the hotel, it was like getting a slap in the face from the brisk wind. After getting used to the California heat, the seeping cold of the Chicago winter stung his cheeks, making it almost impossible to keep his eyes open. 

Richie was sitting silently at the railing of the overlook, staring out into the snowy line of trees surrounding the hotel. He was nursing another glass of bourbon, cradled gently in his large hand as the space around him fogged with each warm breath. Instead of making his presence known right away, Eddie took the opportunity to really appreciate how good he looked in a suit.

He stood tall over the banister, his long legs accentuated by the dark grey pants clinging to him with just the right amount of tightness. It was taut around his thighs and butt, looser around the ankles unlike Eddie’s, and his suit top was fitted perfectly to hold his broad shoulders. Eddie knew Richie was big, but he somehow looked bigger with a suit on.

And it was doing things for him.

Eddie would never want Richie to change his style, but the few times he’d worn a blazer for interviews or talk shows, he couldn’t help how it affected him. His hair was slicked back out of his face, but the curls still twisted freely, coiling at his ears and neck. Eddie wanted to make a mess out of it.

Before he riled himself up any more, he stepped further outside with a chill and cleared his throat. “You’re going to catch a cold if you stand out here for too long.”

Richie turned just his torso, his dress shoe clad feet stayed planted on the floor. “Yeah yeah mom.” He leaned his weight on the banister a little, placing the glass there and slipping his hands into his pockets, most likely to try to rouse some reaction. “I was just appreciating how pretty the snow looks. But yeah… it’s cold as shit.” He huffed out a laugh, sending a misty cloud in front of him as his hot breath hit the air. “Fuck them for having a winter wedding.”

Eddie snorted at that, nodding his head in agreement. He watched Richie shiver in place, too stubborn to move from his viewing spot. He walked over to him quickly, trying to cut through the cold air as fast as possible to avoid the icy breeze, and when he finally got to him he collided with him with enough force to throw off his balance and nearly hit the empty glass of whiskey off of the banister.

“Woah there Tiger, if you wanted to cuddle for warmth you just had to ask.”

Eddie shushed him, relishing in the warmth of his chest for a moment before he moved his hands to snake down Richie’s sides, digging into his pockets to take out his freezing hands. He tilted his head back to get a good look at him as he cupped their hands together and blew hot air into them, rubbing them gently to get the blood circulating again. Richie’s face broke into something softer, heart aching at the gesture.

But that was their thing. They’d always take care of each other. 

“If you get sick I’m quarantining you.” Eddie hummed, kissing his knuckles before returning his hands. But Richie didn’t want the contact to end, he never did. So he gripped him and pulled him back into him, shielding him from another breeze. 

“You got it. You know, there are plenty of other ways to warm up.”

“Don’t.” Eddie laughed, nuzzling closer.

“My stars, we are all alone on this balcony in the dark winter night.” He cooed in a helpless voice, waving a hand in front of his face. “If only there were someone to warm me up. With no one in sight, why someone could just ravish me up here.”

Eddie tugged on his lapel, dragging his face to his height. After a scolding look for being so loud and obnoxious, he pressed their lips together. Both of their lips were dry from the cold, but when Richie opened the kiss Eddie was more than happy to allow his warm tongue to enter his mouth. He tasted like bourbon, which Eddie hated, but he eagerly chased the flavor in Richie’s mouth, almost frantically licking behind his teeth.

“Eds.” He moaned against him, tugging on his lapel to drag him closer. Their tongues fought against each other for a moment longer before Richie bit down on his lip, pulling a moan from him in return.

“God Richie-”

Neither of them heard the glass door get pushed open, surging in for another kiss when Bill cleared his throat, interrupting them effectively. They both detached quickly, Eddie desperately trying to fix his lapel and wipe his lips clean of spit. Richie helped straighten him out with a smug grin on his face, flushed a little red on his face and neck.

Well now he was certainly warm.

Bill shook his head with an eye roll, pointing behind him with his thumb. “You’re up s-soon for the toast. After Ben and Bev took some newlywed photos, we played rock paper scissors for who was going to interrupt you. I unfortunately l-lost.”

“Tsk, bad luck Big Bill.” Richie clicked his tongue, petting over a tousled strand of Eddie’s hair. “Thankfully now I’m nice and energized for this speech.” 

“I will throw you off of this balcony and make it look like an accident.”

“I’ll back you up Eddie.” Bill laughed, rubbing his hands. “Damn it’s cold, I’m going back inside. See ya.”

“Chao.” Richie turned to Eddie unbuttoning the top of his undershirt, snickering when his hand was slapped away. “No, don’t fix it!” He yelled when he attempted to. “Be my good luck charm. It’ll look really bad if I fuck this up.”

“You’re not gonna fuck it up.” He murmured, but he didn’t try to button it again. 

They both ended up walking back in together, relieved to be out of the cold and enveloped in the warmth of the ballroom. People were still dancing, and it was hard to believe that the day had gone by so fast. The guests were all told to return to their tables for the toast and dinner, and that was Richie’s cue to get to stand up from his chair and tap his spoon on a champagne glass.

“Hello everyone!” He cleared his throat, motioning to Bev and Ben. “I’d like to have your attention for a moment in celebrating the marriage of two of the best people on the planet.” He stopped to take a deep breath, smiling at the small applause of agreement. “Ben Hanscom, you are a sweet and brilliant gentle giant, and I know you’ll treat our girl like the goddess she is. And Bevvy, you’re the strongest woman I know, and if anyone has the heart to match Benjamin’s, it’s yours. I love you both, you lucky Losers!” He raised his glass, deciding that he wanted to keep it short and sweet. “To your happiness. May all your ups and downs come only in the bedroom.” 

In Trashmouth fashion, he ended with the room laughing and raising their glasses of champagne, sitting back down in his seat with a sigh of relief. “How was that?”

“Beautiful Richie, thank you.” Bev smiled, dabbing her eyes with a napkin with Ben nodding in agreement. Bill shot him a thumbs up and Mike just laughed, sipping his champagne.

Eddie slipped his arm to hook around Richie’s and pulled him in for a quick kiss, ignoring the looks. “You didn’t fuck it up.” He hummed, taking his arm back and resting a hand on Richie’s thigh. He cracked a smile as he said it, and Richie knew what he really meant. _I’m proud of you._

Dinner consisted of a choice of chicken or salmon with varying sides of pasta, mash potatoes, roasted vegetables and continued access to the open bar. Everyone in the room seemed to be having a good time, eating and chatting with the soft music playing in the background. Some people seemed to be getting tired, the dance floor getting less crowded with each song as the night progressed. 

After the months of planning and butterflies, their wedding day was almost over. It flew by as quickly as it came. It had been nearly a whole year since returning to Derry, and now Ben Hanscom and Beverly Marsh were married. But time didn’t matter, it wasn’t something that held any of them back anymore.

“Hey Tozier.” Bev nudged his foot with hers. “It’s your turn to dance with me.”

“Me and my two left feet? Count us in baby.” Richie raised his eyebrows, already standing up to drag her to the dance floor. “Twerking? Grinding? Pick your poison honey, you know these hips don’t lie.”

“We are slow dancing dummy.” She scoffed, lovingly of course. The sound changed to something slower and the lights dimmed a little more. “Like a father-daughter dance type thing.”

“Don’t make me fucking cry.” He joked, already crying a little bit. 

“Sorry.” She laughed, feeling not sorry at all. “Thank you for making today so special. I dreamed about this. All of us here, celebrating each other.” 

“Did you not just hear what I said?” He sniffled, wiping his eyes with the cuff of his sleeve. They swayed around, trying hard not to clumsily step on each other’s toes, but it was hard with tears in both of their eyes.

“I love you.” She whimpered with an emotion grin, gripping him tightly and crying quietly into his neck.

“I love you more.” He swallowed, trying not to sob like an absolute idiot during a slow dance. He held her tightly, acutely remembering how they slow danced together at prom. They were happy then just like they were present day, but also sad too. Sad with the knowledge that high school was over and they’d have to go their separate ways. 

But that was no more, they never had to go their separate ways again, not like that at least. No more waiting twenty seven years, no more agony, no more regret. In fact, Beverly was going to be closer to him, and the thought made him cry a little harder.

He must’ve looked like an idiot when they were pulled apart by Bev’s aunt, who was eager to get a dance in with her on her big day, and Richie happily stepped back to clean his tear-stained glasses. Plus, he had someone else waiting on him.

“May I have this dance?” Eddie smirked at him, watching him with eyes full of fondness as he pulled himself together. 

“Little ole me?” He cooed, pointing at his own chest. “Don’t mind if I do cutie.”

It was strange at first, cradling Eddie close to him as they swayed back and forth, not really taking any steps, just shuffling back and forth on their feet. Richie was brought back to prom again, how badly he wanted to dance like this with Eddie, like all of the other couples in their grade. It hurt to want so badly, but not be able to have it. To have Eddie like that. 

But he had him now, tucked into him like two puzzle pieces that fit together perfectly, made for each other. Their hands glided innocently over each others’ sides and arms, Eddie switching back and forth between snaking his hands around Richie’s neck and torso. There were a few times where it felt like Eddie might stop and pull away after the melody changed, but Richie held him closely, wanting nothing more to keep him there against him all night.

For forever.

“You’re being quiet.” Eddie piped up, like it was alarming him. “What’re you thinking about?”

Richie angled his chin to look down at him, one side of his face pressed calmly into his chest. It made him hyper-aware of how they were doing this in public, in front of strangers no less. It was like young Richie Tozier’s prom fantasy had come to life.

“I’m just soaking it all in.” He said lowly, soft into Eddie’s hair where he nuzzled in, squeezing him a little tighter. “This is what I would’ve imagined prom would’ve been like if we were together. God, I wanted to dance with you so bad.” 

“I’m fairly certain that we danced to Mr. Bombastic. It was ‘95, you were obsessed with that stupid song and accent.” 

“That’s not exactly the kind of dancing I meant but sure. I remember that now.” He chuckled into his hair, ghosting his lips over his hairline. “I was thinking more romantic.”

“Hey, we danced to Wonderwall too, that was pretty romantic.” 

Richie angled his neck towards the ceiling and barked out a loud laugh that would’ve for sure echoed through the ballroom if it weren’t for the other conversations going on and the increasing tempo of the new song. His body shook with a bout of giggles, and Eddie took it all in with a smile. Like it was an achievement.

They stared at each other, bodies trembling trying to contain their laughter. But in a weird turn, Richie’s quiet giggles turned into whimpers and more tears, remembering how the highlight of his _life_ at that time was dancing with little Eddie Kaspbrak. Even if it wasn’t romantically. Because at the end of the day, Eddie was his best friend, his soulmate in more ways than one. And now he got to have him.

He still couldn’t believe it. He didn’t think he’d ever fully believe it.

“I love you Eddie.” He choked out through his restrained sniffles and tears.

“I love you too.” He looked up at him softly, moving a hand to cradle the back of Richie’s neck down so that their foreheads could rest together. “I wish we did dance at prom, like this. But I’m also glad that we waited till you developed some level of rhythm in your body. You’re not nearly as uncoordinated as you were in high school.” 

“Wow.” Richie snorted. _Soulmates._ “Thanks for that backhanded compliment babe.” 

“Yeah.” Eddie hummed absentmindedly, pushing himself up onto his tippy toes to press a firm, grounding, kiss to his lips. “Bev said she’s granting people permission to leave after they cut the cake.”

“I like the sound of that.” _I need to get you alone._ “They don’t need help cleaning up?”

“I offered. She threatened to put a fork through my hand if I even try to clean.”

“Well then.” He smirked. “I won’t argue with that. But how does that feel for you? Getting cock blocked from cleaning I mean.”

“Asshole.”

“Ditto.” He planted a sweet kiss into his neat hair before finally, after several songs and a whole roundabout of emotions, pulling away from him. “To backtrack a few seconds, you mentioned cake… Take me to it.”

They stayed attached at the hip throughout the cake cutting, watching Beverly and Ben smear frosting on each other’s faces and lick it off playfully. The cake was good, a light vanilla with two different tiers of filling, cream custard and fudge. It almost turned into a food fight between the guests, most of which had begun to leave, but luckily Ben was able to stop the venue from being covered in cake.

Richie ducked his head to lick up the tiny swipe of frosting he’d managed to get on Eddie’s cheek, snickering at the growl of disgust. “What, you don’t like my tongue on you all of a sudden?”

“Don’t do this to me right now, Rich.” He whispered, shifting on his feet. “Keep it in your pants.” His face burned a bright red when Beverly raised her eyebrows at them, beckoning them over to where she was standing with the other losers. They obediently walked to her, sighing in relief when she threw her hands around both of their necks, squeezing them all together for another group hug.

“Get out of here you two.” She giggled between them. “My _husband_ and I have decided that you all are relieved from your wedding duties.” She pulled away, patting them both on the cheek. “Don’t worry about anything here, it’ll be taken care of. I know you guys have a flight tomorrow, but your rooms are all paid for. You just have to get the room key from the front desk. Don’t think about trying to pay for it, Tozier.”

“Jokes on you, the envelope I slipped in the gift box has enough money to cover your honeymoon.”

“You’re the worst!”

“She means thank you.” Ben stepped in and pulled him in for a hug before turning to Eddie. “And thank _you_. For everything.”

“It was my pleasure.” Eddie smiled, gladly accepting his hug.

“Babe, rides gonna be here soon.” Beverly sighed, leaning her head onto Richie’s chest, his arms curling around her instantly. “I can’t believe it’s over already.”

“Best wedding I’ve been to.” Richie nodded, rubbing over her arms and back. 

“Same.” Eddie deadpanned, making them all laugh.

It was the truth though. He was near traumatized from his own wedding, from being married to a woman really. Myra specifically. He hated thinking about it, how stupid he was for falling into the same trap that he’d just escaped from his mother. It hurt, the regret, if he thought about it too much. But seeing Ben and Beverly so happy, getting to dance with Richie.

It all hurt a little less.

“Excuse me?” The man who they recognized as the photographer stepped up to them. “Would you be interested in one more picture Mr. Hanscom? I can get your whole group-”

“Yes, yes, yes, YES!” Bev let go of Richie, standing by him and opening her arms up for Ben. He shuffled close to her, tugging Eddie to stand next to him. Bill stood next to Richie, and Mike next to Eddie, all of them squeezing together for the picture. 

The venue was quiet, a few family members and coworkers chatting together off to the sides, the lights a bit brighter so that cleanup could start. The flash lit up the room even more, the group posing in a few different ways. One picture turned into several, like they all knew that after they stopped so would the amazing day they had. 

“Okay, okay.” Beverly finally pulled the plug, shoving Richie away before he could actually lick her face instead of pretending to for the picture. “We really have to go now.”

“Luggage is already at the front with valet.” Ben set down Bill, who he’d been holding in his arms like a baby for their last picture. “Wow so this is it?”

“Yeah.” She sighed, kicking off her shoes. “As sad as that is, my feet are killing me. Any chance I can get carried to the car like a baby?”

Ben kissed her forehead sweetly as he bent down to pick her up, scooping up her shoes along with her. “Gentleman, thank you for making this such a great day.”  
  


“It was an honor good sport.” Richie quipped in an accent. “Have fun kiddos, wear protection!”

“Send us lots of pictures.” Mike laughed, rubbing Bill’s back as he yawned. 

“We will.” Beverly smiled, cradled in her new husbands’ arms. “Your room keys are at the front desk. We will text when we land.”

And just like that, the wedding was over. Ben and Beverly were married. Like the cosmos perfectly aligned after twenty seven years to make their wedding night perfect, filled with love, laughter, and most importantly: no demonic clown bullshit.

Mike and Bill managed to get their key first since Richie and Eddie’s room apparently had a completely different floor. But they didn’t care, it was actually better that way so that they could get back to their room alone without being kicked out for public indecency. They were on each other as soon as they were alone in the elevator, pressing each other against the walls for heated kisses and quick neck bites, trying their best not to literally shred their suits.

Luckily, there was no one to witness anything when the doors opened to their floor, and they managed to not run into anyone on their hunt for their room. They were back on each other when they finally found it, Richie fumbling with the room key while simultaneously trying to suck on Eddie’s tongue. Richie still tasted like bourbon, but Eddie tasted like cake, so sweet that it was making Richie dizzy.

“You better not have whiskey disk.” Eddie huffed into his mouth, hands scrambling to touch as much of his as he could over his suit.

“I didn’t even drink that much. I’m a little buzzed, like borderline tipsy.” 

“Right, tipsy.” He snickered, proceeding with his mission of touching every part of Richie as he possibly could. “C’mon, fucking open it before we get arrested for fucking in a hotel hallway.”

“Trying.” Richie grunted, sliding the key past the door handle several times. “Fucking- key cards suck… how the fuck to secret agents do this shit all the time?”

“You’re doing it too fast.” 

“I’m excited.” 

“You’re impatient.” Eddie chirped, tugging on his lapel with a small whine.

“Look who’s talking.” 

“If you don’t get this door open in 5 seconds-” 

“Tada!” Richie yelled, slamming his palm onto the handle and almost sending them both to the floor as they toppled into the room. After a briefly shared laugh, they connected their lips again, teeth and tongue connecting desperately, hands frantically groping each other. Richie pinned him to the door, pulling a strangled moan from him as his hand searched for the light.

“Don’t stop.” Eddie panted when Richie pulled back a little. 

“I’m not… I just-” His hand skimmed over the wall in frustration, body shifting against him for friction. “-I want to see you.” Finally, his prayers were answered and he flicked on the light, latching his lips to Eddie’s neck and sucking, hard.

Eddie’s head fell back against the door, grabbing at his shoulders tightly. But the pleasure was short-lived when he let go, scoffing loudly past him. “What the fuck is this?”

Richie was confused, to say the least, drunk on lust and desperation as he blinked at him carefully. It took Eddie physically turning his head to see the rose petals strewn across the floor and into a heart shape on the bed. He looked around at the large room, letting Eddie down from where he’d hoisted him against the door, both of them scouting it out. “Did they- did they book us a honeymoon sweet?” Richie cracked, almost falling to the floor with how hard he was laughing. 

Eddie kicked at a petal near his feet and shook with how hard he was trying not to laugh. He was embarrassed, sure, but it was pretty funny. Points to Beverly and Ben. “Did you know about this?”

“No! A bell boy took our luggage! I wasn’t even in here-” He cut himself off with more noisy laughter, and Eddie couldn’t help but join.

“Well.” Eddie breathed deeply, holding his stomach. “They got us.” 

“Yeah.” Richie whistled, wiping at his eyes. “That’s fucking funny.”

“Yeah.” They silently agreed to continue what they were doing, slower this time, softly meshing their lips together with not as much tongue, hands gently scratching at the others’ clothes. “We need to get this shit off so Bev doesn’t kill us for ruining the suits.”

“Do I get to do the honors?” Richie chuckled, flicking the top button on Eddie’s shirt that was still undone. 

“Yeah, fuck.”

They both were quick but careful to get each other out of the suit jacket and button-down shirts. It should’ve killed the mood a little, to pause kissing and hang their suits neatly back on the hangers they came on. But it was like a buffer, adding more anticipation to what they were both desperate for. 

Richie took a break from undressing to grab their “sex blanket”, as much as Eddie hated that term, that he packed because of course he did. He knew that Eddie might feel gross having sex in a bed that plenty of other people had probably also had sex on. It was a generous thought, and it made Eddie feel warm inside from more than just his impending arousal. He watched him lay it across the sheets and rose petals, smoothing it out to cover the majority of it. It was a simple act, kind as Richie always was, and it turned him on more than it should’ve.

“Jesus Eds.” Richie groaned when Eddie palmed himself through his pants before undoing the zipper carefully. “As much as I liked you in that suit, you never disappoint when you undress. It’s like unwrapping a gift.”

“You need to stop talking and catch up, take your shirt off.”

“Yes sir.” As he pulled his bowtie off and Eddie helped him with the buttons on his undershirt. “Woah, woah, pause. What is that?” Richie tugged on the small straps peaking over Eddie’s pants.

“Shirt stays.” He sighed, rutting his hips towards his hand to chase his touch. “What you’ve never heard of shirt stays? It just keeps the undershirt tucked in.” 

“Like suspenders?”

“Kind of… but not.” He squirmed under Richie’s stare and the light touches around the seams of his pants. “Fuck, let me just show you.” 

He stripped the rest of his belt out of the way so he could wiggle out of his pants, and Richie immediately noticed two things. The small damp patch on his boxers that always made Richie salivate, and the crossed straps that hugged around his thighs and hung over the tops of his pants with little clips. “Holy fuck. Where did you get these?”

“Bev put them with my suit, my shirt kept riding up during my fittings.”

“Remind me to thank her the next time we see her.” He hooked one of his fingers under the strap against his thigh, pulling back just a little and letting it snap back onto his skin.

“Richie, if you do that again I’m gonna explode.”

It was almost an argument for why he should do it again, but Richie settled for tugging on them so Eddie would stumble into him. “We aren’t giving these back. I want you to keep them.” He ran his hands along each strap slowly, fingers occasionally slipping underneath but never giving much else. “These could be fun another time.”

“Yeah, okay.” Eddie’s breath stuttered, surging up for his lips as Richie undid the shirt stays, letting them slide down his legs. He guided Richie towards the bed and pushed him onto it, hands working on his belt and zipper. “I’ll finish undressing you since you’re so fucking slow.”

“I love when you insult me when we are getting freaky.” Richie grinned, scooting further onto the bed so that his back was flush against the headboard. His hands fisted their blanket so he didn’t move too much when Eddie pulled his pants down his legs, and finally, off of his body.

He climbed back up his legs, to sit comfortably in his lap, their chest pressed together in a sitting position, both of them already heaving and pent up. “Hi.” He said softly.

“Hey.”

“Kiss me Rich.”

It was so gentle and sweet that Richie let out an embarrassing whimper as he wrapped his arms around him and kissed him hard. They went back to tongue, licking into each other’s mouths like they were starved. If you’d ask Eddie if he’d enjoy kissing with excessive tongue, he might’ve thrown up at the thought. But like everything with Richie, he found out that there was no such thing as excessive. 

He couldn’t get _enough_ of Richie. Maybe before a mouth full of tongue and someone else's spit was horrific, but not anymore. It was incredibly hot, and it didn’t take long for him to grow impatient, rutting up to Richie’s stomach.

“Fuck, you’re gonna kill me.” Richie gripped his hips tightly, rolling up to meet his weak attempts at gaining friction. It was torture, but the good kind. The kind where they were driving each other mad but not leaping into it right away. The teasing kind, the type where it was about being in the moment and not getting straight to it. The kind where when they’d break for air, it was filled with gasps and strings of spit, just staring at each other with the rawest form of lust.

“I like when you hold my face like that.” Eddie shivered in between Richie’s palms, which were cupped over his cheeks. His hands were so large that his palms could stay right near his spit slick lips and his fingers still reached into his hair, scraping lightly onto his scalp. “Reminds me how big your hands are.”

“Just admiring you.” Richie panted, brushing his thumb up and down Eddie’s cheek. “Plus, I killed the guy who gave you this scar.” 

“Wow, my fantasies of fucking an axe murder came true.” He huffed out a laugh, nails scratching lightly at Richie’s chest.

“Only you would still be attracted to me after killing a guy and proceeding to vomit my guts out onto the floor-” 

“God, no more vomit talk while my tongue is down your throat.” 

“That’s what’s getting to you?” Richie smirked. “Not the murder part?” 

“Shut Up. Keep touching me.” 

“My pleasure sweetheart.”

They made out for a while, sitting up in bed, boxers still separating them like they had all the time in the world. All of the exhaustion from the wedding had dissipated, both of them energized and antsy. They slowed down, still occasionally grinding against one another, kissing and touching more gently.

It was easier with Richie’s glasses to go slow, and they could savor the touch and taste of each other a little better when they weren’t being so wild. It was like they were in high school or something, fitting since this was a fantasy of teenage Richie. The both of them in just their boxers, ignoring their boners fighting against the fabric in favor of just kissing. Driving each other and themselves wild. They went on like that until they were so hard it was painful, their lips swollen from nonstop smacking and biting.

“I wanted to climb you like a tree earlier.” Eddie tugged on his hair, nipping at his jawline, giving his lips a little break. “But that’s not very acceptable for a wedding is it?” 

It was unrealistic, but the thought of having his way with him in the middle of a wedding made him throb uncomfortably from arousal. A guy can dream. He ran his hands over Eddie’s thighs, nails scratching down into his smooth skin when he bit into a particularly sensitive part of Richie’s neck.

“It’ll be more than acceptable at our wedding.” He forced out under a groan, his head tilting back so he could have more access.

But Eddie released his neck from his teeth, pulling back and wiping at his shining lips. Richie blinked his eyes open when he stopped completely, confused as to why he was just looking at him. He didn’t even realize what he’d said.

“You wanna marry me?” 

It came out soft, and he moved a hand to curl around the back of Richie’s neck gently, anxiously playing with the strands of hair that curled there. Richie became rigid underneath them, face draining white out of fear. He had to focus himself, not letting himself slip too far away. Eddie didn’t look upset, quite the opposite actually. His eyes were hopeful, pleading for an answer as he softly caressed his neck. He was being patient, which was normally very hard for Eddie. Eddie was being patient with him because he loves him, and the reminder made Richie’s heartache so much that he felt like it was entirely possible that it would snap in half.

“Rich?..”

_Say something you fucking idiot._ Richie scolded himself. He heard his therapist voice in his head. _You’re scared of being rejected. The fact that you recognize that fear as irrational is a great start. You should be proud, it’s not an easy thing to do for most people._

“Fuck. Yeah, wanted to ever since we were in high school.” He finally choked out, his hands trembling where they rested on Eddie’s hips. “Probably even before that.”

Eddie moved both of his hands to cup Richie’s face, resting his forehead against his with a relieved sigh. He laughed nervously, closing his eyes and swallowing hard. He brushed his thumbs in small circles over Richie’s cheekbones soothingly, a small smile curling on his lips. “You should’ve asked, we could’ve eloped.” 

Richie clenched his eyes shut for a second, the anxiety coursing through him painfully, his blood feeling ice cold. “I’m not kidding Eds.” 

“Me neither.”

The ice cold feeling in his blood suddenly lit up into a fire that he hadn’t experienced since Eddie had first told him he loved him. This was a new kind of confession, not just an “I love you” but a recognition of “I want to love you forever, I couldn’t imagine _not_ loving you.”

“It’s okay sweetheart.” Eddie cooed, brushing away the steady stream of tears flowing down Richie’s face. “Don’t be scared.”

“You wanna marry me back?” 

Eddie turned his face to wipe at his own eyes, glossy and red. “Someday Rich. If you promise to be semi-acceptable in front of your family at least.”

A broken sob left him when he opened his mouth, and he needed to catch his breath before attempting to speak again. “I can’t promise that and you know it.” 

“Yeah I know.” Eddie laughed, sniffling and pulling back from his forehead to get a good look at him. “And yet I’d still marry you.”

Richie kissed him hard and held him close, shaking in each other's arms as they mixed their tears. It was said, finally, just how much they loved each other, how much more they wanted. They were soulmates, as close as you could possibly get to the real thing. Richie Tozier wanted to marry Eddie Kaspbrak, to have him be his forever, till the end of time. And Eddie Kaspbrak was okay with that. More than okay apparently.

“Did I kill the mood?” Richie murmured, pressing his lips to his temple where Eddie could feel him smiling.

“Does it look like you killed the mood?” He gestured down to himself, dick not at all phased by the waterworks and sappy confessions.

“This was a good buffer.” Richie admitted, reaching in between them to grasp him through his boxers. “Now I don’t feel two seconds away from jizzing my pants.”

“Maybe if you hurry up and prep me we can get this show on the road.” He moved his hips forward to press into Richie’s hand a little more. “If you don’t start soon I might die.”

“So dramatic.” 

“You just cried for ten minutes, you’re the dramatic one.”

“You called me sweetheart.” Richie tugged as his boxers with a long finger. “You know what that does to me.”

“You’re driving me crazy Rich.” Eddie chuckled, rocking his hips up to get something, anything. 

“Can I blow you?”

“No, I’m not gonna last if you do that.”

“Please, c’mon I’m literally salivating here.” Richie brushed his thumb over the wet spot of his boxers. “Look at you. Please, I’ll beg if you want. You say I don’t but I won’t shut up until you let me.”

“My God, just fucking do it then.” He snickered, rolling off of him. “Finger me while you do it.”

“Shit, okay. Hold on.” He launched himself off of the bed, tearing through their bags for their bottle of lube. “Stop touching yourself you little gremlin, have some patience.” 

“I’m trying.” He huffed, thrusting into his palm. “I’m taking these off if you don’t move faster.”

Richie crawled back up to him, tossing the bottle to the side in favor of kissing him. He kissed down his chest, vaguely aware of Eddie’s low pleas. He mouthed around his nipples, nipping when Eddie fisted his hands into his hair. Eddie pushed his head lower, desperate to get him where he needed him, and he opened his mouth with a silent yell when Richie finally dragged his tongue up the wet patch of his boxers. 

“Mm, how do you always taste so good?”

“Fucking hell Richie.”

“Pull my hair baby.” He hissed when Eddie’s hands gripped his hair even tighter, the sharp pain making him shiver. He finally tugged the boxers down his thighs and threw them behind him once they were unhooked from his ankles. “God, do you ruin your underwear or just throw them away when they get that wet?”

“I wash them like a normal human being. But I’m not taking those on a fucking plane.” He tugged on Richie’s hair again, making him wince. “Please Richie-” He lost all breath in his lungs when Richie finally took his head into his mouth, humming and lapping at the gush of precome beading out.

“Fuck Eddie, I could do this all day.”

“I wouldn’t last.” He laughed, gritting his teeth as Richie swallowed back down around him. “You said you were gonna finger me while you did this.”

Richie looked up at him through hooded eyes, reaching for the bottle with his lips still tightly suctioned around him. After a moment, he pulled away to pop the cap, stroking Eddie tenderly, slick with spit and precome. “You get so wet baby, I think you could probably fuck me without any lube and it would be fine.”

“I’m gonna die.” Eddie whimpered, bucking his hips up into Richie’s hand.

“You like that? Want to try sometime?” He laughed at Eddie’s hectic nod. “Alright. You ready for my fingers now?”

“I’ve been ready.” He reminded him, heaving when Richie sank back down onto him, a lube coated finger circling him before pushing in slowly. He held him down with another hand to prevent his hips from moving, and Eddie all but thrashed underneath him. “Another one.”

“Patience baby, it’s been a few days.” Richie pumping one finger in and out, bending at different angles. “You’re really tight.”

“Don’t care, I need it.” 

“Okay, relax.” He hummed, scooping up some more lube and slowly inching in again with another finger. Eddie’s fist tightened in his hair so hard it brought tears to his eyes, and he grinded against the bed for some relief on himself. He pumped his fingers in and out, lowering his mouth back onto him and taking him to the back of his throat. He closed his eyes to focus on his breathing, gently bobbing his head to calm his reflex. When he opened his eyes, he did nearly choke, not expecting Eddie to force one of his own fingers inside himself along with Richie’s. “Don’t hurt yourself honey.” He panted, grabbing his wrist carefully.

“I need- I can’t… please.” He shook underneath him. “I’m ready, I’m ready.”

“Eddie.”

“You’ll go slow.” He grunted, batting Richie’s hand away from him and attempting to pull him back up to him. “C’mon you’ll take care of me right? You always do.”

“Honey.”

“That’s why I’m gonna marry you.”

“Don’t do this to me.” Richie hitched, tossing his boxers across the room and hovering over him. “I’ll go slow, I’ll take care of you.” He pumped himself a few times, hips stuttering into his own hand at the contact, positioning himself. They held each other tightly as he inched his way inside, and he almost stopped to put more lube, but Eddie caged him in with his ankles. “Baby, fuck you’re still so tight. You okay?”

“Keep going.” He hissed, digging his nails into Richie’s bicep. “Kiss me.” They collided hurriedly, teeth clacking together painfully as Richie eased his way inside. It took a few minutes of stopping, breathing, kissing, before he finally rested his pelvis against his ass. They were both dripping sweat, grunting with even the smallest of movements. “Love you.”

“Love you too. Now please God, fuck me already.” 

Richie curled his body around him, chests flush together when he started moving. Richie whimpered in his neck, biting down on his collar bone to muffle his noises. They rocked together slowly, Eddie clenching his eyes shut at the slow drag, still slightly under prepped for how big Richie was. But he loved the burn, the hint of pain with each jolt, stealing the breath right out of his lungs. He was dick drunk for sure, babbling into Richie’s hair, not really saying anything that made sense. 

Richie picked up the pace slightly, but not enough to tip either of them over the edge just yet. They were both holding out, just feeling each other, as close as they could possibly get without sinking into each other. Eddie yelped when Richie found his prostate, brushing against it lazily with every other thrust. 

“That’s it sweetheart.” Eddie managed to get out. “You always give me just what I need.”

“Eds I’m gonna fucking cum.” He growled into his neck, angling his hips so that Eddie’s prostate was nudged with every thrust. “Please tell me you’re close.”

“Yeah baby, I’m close.” He hummed, scratching at Richie’s back, no doubt leaving claw marks. “You make me feel so good.”

“Baby, Eddie.” Richie’s hips stuttered, a full-body shiver rippled through him, the tears he’d been holding in finally dropping from his eyes and onto Eddie’s cheeks as he finished in him, jerking into him to ride it out. “Fuck, fuck.”

“Feel so full.” Eddie keened at the sensation. “Stay in me. Just touch me, please.” He clawed at Richie’s arm in desperation, wiggling underneath him to put some room in between them. Richie used the last amount of energy he had to lift himself up just enough to get his hand on him, pumping him slick and fast. He rolled his wrist around, rubbing his head with the rough pad of his finger like he knew he liked. Eddie bit down on his lips so hard that he thought he drew blood, slinging an arm over her eyes as he came hard, rocking up into Richie’s fist and back down to grind against his softening cock. “Oh my God. Richie oh my God-”

“I know baby, I know.” He hushed him, nosing along his jaw, slowly lowering himself back down to collapse on top of him. He didn’t think twice about the cum sandwiched between them, wiping his wet hand on the blanket. Eddie saw him do it, but he didn’t have the energy to complain. Wipes would have to clean it enough to take it back onto a plane.It could’ve been five minutes, or it could’ve been fifteen that they laid there like that, holding each others’ sweaty bodies and catching their breath. They’d both stopped crying, their cheeks still stained with dried tears. But then they started laughing, quietly, for no particular reason. Nothing was funny, yet there they were, having a good time. 

“I can’t believe you want to marry me back.” Richie grinned into his neck, leaving featherlight kisses there. “You sure you didn’t just say it because you were horny?”

“Just because I was horny doesn’t mean I wasn’t of right mind.” He scoffed. “I _love_ you.”

“I love you _more_.” Richie challenged, lifting himself up, cringing only a little bit at the sticky residue still between them. “Our wedding would have better music right?” Eddie winced at the drying cum tugging on his stomach hair as Richie got up, but he distracted himself with a laugh. 

“Definitely. Like Mr. Bombastic and Wonderwall.” They both cracked up, thoughts of running to the shower moved to the back of their minds and substituted for giggles and cuddles. _Soulmates._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy almost-Halloween!  
> I try to update this story every month but with school and COVID it's gotten harder and harder ): so sorry that this is late, but I'm still trying! The Reddie fandom isn't dying on my watch... 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this update and that everyone is staying safe and healthy (:  
> Honestly, this story is the only thing that motivates me other than Uni these days so if people keep reading I'll keep writing!  
> Kudos and comments are appreciated as always <3
> 
> Here are some links to the outfits referenced in this chapter:  
> _________________________  
> Bev’s Dress:  
> https://www.ericdress.com/product/Concise-Strapless-Pearl-Court-Train-Mermaid-Wedding-Dress-11154234.html?currency=USD#495132 
> 
> Ben’s Suit: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/314477986465646259/?nic_v2=1a2hTWPzH 
> 
> Losers’ Suits: https://www.colorsbridesmaid.com/blog/october-wedding-dark-red-bridesmaid-dresses-grey-mens-suits-and-red-centerpieces-b1383/


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie had eight days to get his shit together after the wedding, eight to swallow his anxiety so he could feel ready with his new and improved standup routine. He had two full days of driving from LA to Seattle, an entire road trip to hype himself up to some level of excitement. He should’ve felt ready, he should’ve been excited. He was going to be fine, he’d polished his routine a million times.   
> _________________
> 
> Richie performs for his Netflix special

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings:
> 
> \- A lot of mentions about vomiting  
> \- Excessive drinking (hangovers)  
> \- Drunken sexual content  
> \- Mentions of jumping from a high place (jokingly)

Things were going well. Well… sort of. 

Ben and Beverly spent five days on their honeymoon, two days moving things around in their new LA house. And they still had a flight to Seattle to be there for Richie’s special. Bill and Mike had a book signing and movie interview to do, and they also planned to be there for Richie’s show. 

Richie had eight days to get his shit together after the wedding, eight to swallow his anxiety so he could feel ready with his new and improved standup routine. He had two full days of driving from LA to Seattle, an entire road trip to hype himself up to _some_ level of excitement. He should’ve felt ready, he should’ve been excited. He was going to be fine, he’d polished his routine a million times. 

“Richie.” Eddie rubbed up and down his back soothingly. “It’s alright, let it all out. We’re almost there.” Richie was hunched over the side of the road fifteen minutes outside of Seattle, throwing up violently for the second time that morning. They had a hotel room booked for the night, giving them some time to settle in before Richie’s show the next day. He wiped his mouth, standing up and breathing deeply through his nose, trying to ignore the acidic burn in the back of his throat and the rancid taste of his tongue. 

“Thanks.” He whispered, his throat raw, as he accepted the bottle of water that Eddie offered him. He took a few swigs before taking a bit into his cheeks to rinse his mouth. “I’m good now.”

Eddie didn’t look convinced, but he nodded anyway and slid back into the driver’s seat, watching Richie’s every move carefully. He plopped himself back into the passenger seat, wiping some sweat off of his forehead and buckling the seatbelt back in. “Almost there.” Eddie said again, softly as he gripped Richie’s hand tightly. Then they were back on the road, heading to their hotel in Seattle.

Richie didn’t develop anxiety nausea until he left Derry. He’d never been someone to shy away from attention or anything considered “gross.” But when he left home, and especially when he started comedy, he discovered the dreaded feeling of bile simmering deep in his throat when he was nervous. And as someone whose career was centered around performing in front of people, it sucked. 

There were days when he’d be hunched over the toilet before a set, either his managers or his mother over the phone trying to calm him. The thought of his parents being _physically_ there to watch his new standup sent a swirl of nausea back into his stomach.

“You okay?” Eddie squeezed his hand, sensing another bout of anxiety enter the car.

“Do you think I’m rusty?” Richie asked, forehead leaning against the window as he examined the start of Seattle. It had been a while since he’d been in the area.

“Rusty?”

“Yeah, like out of practice. Out of my element.”

“I think you’re out of your _mind_ if you think that.” Eddie snorted. “Richie, you’re funny. Okay? This is what you do, we’ve been over this. I hate it when you second guess yourself.”

“I don’t know why I’m so fucking scared.”

“Because this material is yours.” He reminded him. “It’s yours and no one else's. That’s why you’re scared. Who gives a shit if people didn’t like your old stuff? It was some hack’s material. This is all you, and you’re proud of it. Which you should be.”

“Yeah.” He huffed out a laugh. “If people hate it that’s gonna really suck.”

“There’s always going to be haters.” He scowled just thinking about all of the unnecessarily rude comments he’d seen on Twitter. All of the degrading and name-calling, even _threats._ He didn’t understand how Richie could do it. “Myra, for one, is one hundred percent going to leave a bad review. Be ready for that.”

Richie barked out a laugh, feeling all of the nausea and anxiety disappear for a brief moment. “Good one babe. You should be the comedian here.” He turned his head from the window and looked at him. “Thanks for doing this with me.”

“How could I pass up a fun little road trip and a free show?” He smiled at him, turning on the final highway that would take them right to their hotel. “You’re going to crush this. And then you’ll see just how fucking awesome you are.”

His stomach swooped, but not from nausea. “You’re fucking awesome too, Eds.”

The first thing Richie did when they got into their hotel room was brush his teeth. He still felt bad, but not like he had to throw up anymore. Mostly because he had nothing else in his stomach, but it wasn’t like he hadn’t dry heaved himself sick before. _You still have tonight to relax, just stop thinking about it dumbass._

“I’m gonna take a shower.” Richie sighed, kicking his shoes off and unzipping his jeans. “Can you help me go over something after?”

“I’ll help, but you don’t need it.” Eddie raised his eyes at him from their bed, neatly taking out his clothes from the suitcase. “Hungry? I think you should eat something after.”

_No._ Richie’s stomach screamed at him. 

“Just something light.” Eddie said gently, seeing the way his face twisted. “We can order room service or something, just spend today relaxing. You have to get something in you.”

“I’d love for you to put something in me.”

“You’re disgusting.” Eddie scoffed but smiled anyway, happy that he was slowly returning to his normal self. “Go shower, fuckhead.”

Richie stood under the water for a while just doing nothing. He planted his hands against the wall, head aimed down towards the drain as the water cascaded over him. He just needed time to think, going over his material again in his head, reciting lines and voices over and over until his mind was numb. 

It was hard to feel anything other than numb or sick with anxiety. He wanted desperately to feel excited, maybe even blessed for the opportunity to come back with his own material after an absolute disaster of his last performance. He’d literally walked off stage and canceled his tour. Not many people get the chance to come back from that.

He jerked under the water at the quick knock on the door. “Rich? You’ve been in there a while, you okay?”

Richie moved his hands from the tiled wall and grimaced at his pruney fingers. “Yeah, sorry. I’ll be out in a minute.”

“No, no. You don’t have to rush.” He heard him softly through the door. “Can I come in?”

“Sure.” As soon as he said it, the door clicked open and Eddie shuffled in so that he didn’t let the cold air of the room in. Not that it mattered since Richie’s shower had been running cold the entire time. But he still found it cute. “Can I join you?”

“You know I’d never say no to that.” He shot him a smile, watching him undress quickly as he shook the water out of his soaked hair. 

“Fuck Richie, why is it so cold?” He hissed as he stepped into the shower, clinging to the wall furthest from the showerhead. “You’re gonna go into shock.”

“I needed a wake up call.” He huffed out a dry laugh. “I just… need to calm down. I gotta relax.”

“Idiot.” Eddie glared at him, clicking his tongue and pushing past him quickly to adjust the temperature. “If you want to feel relaxed you need to feel warm. This is just going to keep you all tense.”

“You’d know a lot about being tense.” He teased, hissing when Eddie turned the handle in the opposite direction. It wasn’t hot by any means, a lukewarm maybe, but the change from the previous cool water sent a jolt through him. “Well _now_ I’m gonna go into shock.”

“Don’t be so dramatic.” Eddie raised his eyebrows. “Did you actually soap yourself up yet or have you just been standing here?” His voice was playful, but Richie knew the look on his face all too well. He was worried about him.

He considered lying just to make him feel better, but he decided against it. It was impossible for him to lie to Eddie. “Uh, no. I just got kind of lost, if that makes sense. In my head I mean.”

“It’s okay.” He said softly, grabbing at their travel body wash. “I’ll help you.”

“You don’t need to.” _You don’t need to pity me._

“I know.” Eddie hummed knowingly, squeezing a bit into his hand and running it over the front of Richie’s chest to lather it around. It wasn’t sexual in the slightest, but Richie wasn’t sure he’d ever get used to Eddie’s hands on him. “How are you feeling?”

“A little bit aroused.”

“I meant your stomach, dickhead.” Eddie laughed, running both hands soothingly over his chest and up to his shoulders, moving the soap around to cover every inch of skin and hair. “Do you still feel sick?”

“Not like this.” Richie swallowed, eyes trying desperately to focus on Eddie. He was right in front of him, but between the light steam and without his glasses, it was straining. So he shut his eyes and just focused on the gentle touch around his sides and shoulder, smooth with the occasional light scratch of nails. “Water feels nice and warm.”

“Told you.” He hummed, sliding a hand to soap his collarbone and neck, scratching lightly at the back of his neck which always drove Richie crazy. The water was still only warm, but Richie felt like he was melting. “I’m glad you feel better.”

“S’thanks to you.” He leaned into the touch, whining like a child when Eddie pulled away.

“Turn around so I can get your back.” 

“You’ve always got my back.” He smiled, turning around slowly to face the showerhead, sighing when Eddie’s hands resumed their tender rubs over his skin. He did feel more relaxed, warm and pampered underneath the refreshing water, his muscles less tense. The headache he had earlier while they were driving was gone, and he was feeling less and less nauseous. The whirl of his stomach was a distant feeling, still not totally gone but no longer urging him to race to a toilet. He didn’t feel _great_ , but he didn’t feel nearly as high-strung.

He shivered slightly when he felt lips ghost over the skin of his shoulder, pressingly lightly before pulling away all too soon. Thankfully he didn’t need to complain because Eddie’s hands curled around his midsection, locking in the front just above his belly button. He nuzzled into his back, his forehead resting gently just beneath the back of his neck. 

“I love you, you know that right?” He murmured quietly, almost covered by the sound of the running water. “And I’m proud of you, no matter what happens.”

The swirl in Richie’s stomach wasn’t from sickness this time, it was from butterflies, the good kind. If anything, it was his heart that ached, taking in the sweet words spoken into his back. “Thanks Eds. I love you too.” He swallowed hard, trying not to get too emotional.

After getting absolutely pampered in the shower and a glass of scotch (against Eddie’s wishes), Richie finally felt calm. A little too calm, so much so that Eddie had to pretty much help dress him and feed him the dried toast he ordered from room service. 

He felt drained, his mind tired after days of endless thinking and worrying. But Eddie was right, it was because this new material was his baby. He’d stayed up countless nights editing and adding to it, snorting to himself when he hit gold or the lightbulb went off. His material never made him laugh before. Maybe because it wasn’t his own, duh. He wasn’t even sure how he ever filled two chairs let alone sold out a theater. Richie knew better than anyone that his old material sucked. He was never really proud of it, but this was different.

He was proud of this. And if people didn’t react well to it, he already could feel how much that would hurt. But at least he had Eddie there, all of his friends and his parents. That in itself added another layer of anxiety to the whole ordeal, having to worry about performing in front of the people that he cared about most. 

He didn’t move from the bed for the rest of the night. And Eddie didn’t push him to.

They both stayed under the covers and watched movie after movie, just to take his mind off of everything going on. They didn’t even go through any material like Richie had wanted before his shower. He finally realized that if he wasn’t ready now, he wouldn’t be for showtime. 

But Eddie assured him that he’d been ready for months. He knew each joke and voice like the back of his hand, and he didn’t need to review it anymore. He didn’t need to “over study”, as Eddie had dubbed it. So he gave in and accepted fate. He also accepted the fact that he probably wouldn’t get nearly enough sleep as he should that night. 

The other Losers arrived the following afternoon, Ben and Beverly coming straight from their honeymoon. Richie was afraid at first that he’d planned the date too close to their trip, and that they were cutting their plans short without telling him. But they both promised him that he hadn’t interrupted anything. He had that sick feeling again, a part of him wishing they hadn’t been able to make it. That would be two less people for him to embarrass himself in front of.

When he said it out loud, a fear disguised as a joke, Beverly smacked him.

Bill and Mike arrived not much later, closer to when Richie’s parents landed. They all piled into the car, a bigger van that the boys had rented for the road trip, and met Richie back at the hotel. It was sure to be an interesting reunion, but everyone loved his parents. 

Richie didn’t like that Eddie left him to go pick everyone up, but someone had to go, and Richie was stuck blocking the stage with the camera crew. Being back on a stage was weird. He’d been on the Late Night stage, and had a great time. He kept reminding himself that this would be sort of similar. Except he’d be alone. That was the part giving him the most trouble. The last thing he wanted to ever feel again, especially after Derry 2.0, was to feel alone.

“You’re not alone.” Eddie huffed, folding his arms.

“I know, I know.” Richie laughed at his scrunched up face. “I meant like physically on stage.”

“Well it is your show.” His father smirked, sitting in one of the chairs of Richie and Eddie’s hotel room. Maggie sat on their bed, throwing her husband a glare.

“No shit pops.” Richie scowled. “Forget it, forget I said anything. I’m overthinking again.”

“Do you feel ready?” She asked, checking her watch. “This is very exciting!”

“I feel like you guys should get going before I unreserve your seats.”

“Richard.”

“I’m kidding.” He rolled his eyes at his parents. “But not about leaving, they are going to start letting people in soon. Maybe walk with the others, all of your seats are together. I don’t want you guys getting lost or something. Not that you’re stupid, that’s not what I’m saying. Just that it might get a little crazy when the time comes-”

He was rambling now, and everyone in the room could feel how nervous he was. As he kept talking in circles his eyes darted to and from the clock in the room. He had less than two hours before he would be on stage.

Maggie stood up and motioned for Wentworth to follow her. She hushed her son as she pulled him in for a hug. “We’ll be fine honey.” She laughed into his ear, but he knew that she really meant _you’ll be fine._ “Ease up a little bit okay? Deep breaths. We will see you after.” She gave him a big kiss on the cheek and stood by the door while Went gave him a small talk of his own.

Her eyes connected with Eddie’s and she communicated with him silently. _Take care of him for me. Make sure he knows everything is okay._ Eddie nodded in understanding, not missing the relieved look on her face along with a small smile. Went hugged his son before they left, Richie trying to slow his breathing. He avoided eating anything all day, which was good for his stomach but bad for just about everything else. He refused even toast this time. 

“Take deeper breaths Rich. You’re just making yourself hyperventilate.”

“We have to leave soon, Steve said I should get there early to-”

“Did you hear me?” Eddie interrupted him, grabbing his hands. “Look at me, Richie. Hey, sweetheart. Deeper breaths, okay? In one, two, three, four, five. Hold it. Don’t fucking cheat I said _hold it._ Okay now out five, four, three, two, one. There you go, let’s do it again.”

Richie repeated the process, his breaths becoming less and less shaky. “I’m good now.” He exhaled, clearing his throat and nodding his head. “How do I look?”

He still looked a little bit scared, maybe even a little sickly, but it was nothing the makeup and wardrobe team couldn’t fix. “You look like you.” Eddie tried, but Richie raised an eyebrow at him. “I always think you’re hot, man. Don’t look at me like that, I’m not kidding. Trust me, it takes a lot of self-control to not jump on you every second.”

“Who said I want you to control yourself?”

“One of us has to control ourselves.” He smirked, gently letting go of Richie’s hands and grabbing his jacket to slide it over his shoulders. “We have to go, if you’re gonna throw up do it before we leave please.”

“I’m good. I can control myself.” He caught the look of skepticism on Eddie’s face. “Seriously, I’m okay.” Okay was a strong word, but they needed to get going so he could get all dolled up. 

When they got to the venue, Eddie waited side stage while Richie and Steve ran through some things. Richie could hear the distant chatter of voices as the seats slowly filled in, but thankfully his makeup girl helped keep him distracted. And of course, he had to thank Beverly Marsh herself. 

“I knew I made a good choice employing you as my fashion gal.” He quipped at her as she plucked a piece of fuzz off of his undershirt. “Does that mean you have to call me boss?”

“One, you didn’t employ me, I offered.” She shook her head, poking at his stomach dangerously. “And even if you did, if you could afford me, I’d never call you boss. EVER.”

“Ouch Marsh.” He grinned, poking her back. “Even if I asked nicely?”

“Absolutely not, leave that kinky shit for Eddie.” 

“You wound me Bevvy.” Richie frowned, placing his hand to his heart. “Do I look pretty at least?” He gave her a little twirl, flicking his wrists out towards her to show off the fit.

“You look very pretty Trashmouth.” She smiled. “I think I’ve done my part. Time for you to shine now princess.”

“Thank you Bev. Really.” He said, more seriously.

“My pleasure.” She hugged him tightly, stepping into his open arms. “Try not to mess with your hair, it’s very tame right now.” When they pulled away she smoothed the fabric on his chest and looked him over one more time. “Go get em tiger.” The sounds of the crowd filled audience was deafening now. 

“Yeah okay.” He swallowed. “See you after?”

“Of course hun. You’ve got this.”

Richie watched her leave, waiting a minute to gather himself before heading towards the wing of the theater. Eddie was there, looking out onto the stage with his back towards him, arms crossed as he took everything in. While he admired the bright lights and velvet curtains, Richie admired him. He took a long deep breath before stepping beside him.

“Hey you.” Eddie smiled up at him before looking him up and down. “You look great.”

It felt ten times hotter whenever Eddie looked at him like that. “It’s a red blazer and a black t-shirt. Hard to go wrong.”

“You know how I feel about you in a black t-shirt.” He smirked. “How are you feeling?”

“It feels real now.” He swallowed, forcing a smile. “Too late to turn back right?”

“Just a little bit. You’re on in less than ten minutes.” His eyebrows furrowed a bit. “You’ve done this before Rich, you don’t need to be so worried.”

“Yeah but I’ve never had to perform in front of you!”

“Would you rather me not be here?” He raised an eyebrow playfully.

  
“No, no Eds. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I know.” Eddie said gently, rubbing up and down his arm soothingly. “C’mon. You should be excited! You get to stick it to anyone who ever doubted you.”

He hadn’t thought about it like that. As loud and obnoxious as he was, he was never spiteful. He never did things to stick it to other people, but he sure as hell has some people who he’d love to rub his newfound success into their faces. He smirked, wrapping his arms around Eddie tightly. “Yeah, you’re right. Fuck all those people!”

“There you go.” Eddie laughed into his shoulder, pulling back a little to fish around his pocket. “I got you something.” He pulled out a small box, and Richie saw his life flash before his eyes. “Calm down, I’m not proposing. You’d probably puke on me. I love you, but not enough to not murder you for that.” He clicked it open, revealing two little rainbow circles. “They’re cufflinks.”

“Aw.” He hummed, trying to hold it together. “Do you think Bev will complain about how the red clashes with the red blazer?” 

“I got them approved by her first. I’d hate to ruin her reputation. Plus I don’t think that’s how rainbows work.” He chuckled, carefully fixing them to Richie’s sleeve. “They are a little tacky, but they are for good luck. And to remind you how proud of you I am. We all are.”

“Don’t make me cry as I’m about to get on stage in front of a full house and future Netflix viewers.” He sniffed, turning his wrists to get a good look at the small little circles. “Thank you baby. And for the record, if you _were_ proposing, I would’ve probably dropped dead before I got the chance to vom. But my ghost, after, he would’ve said yes.”

“I know.” He smiled up at him, reaching up to plant a sweet kiss to the underside of his jaw, then one to his lips. “You’re going to be great. I’m going to find my seat before they yell at me for being back here.”

“They’d be fired immediately.” Richie snorted, pulling him in for one more kiss. “I’ve got this.”

“Yeah you do.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too. No matter what stupid shit you say about me up there.”  
  


“Don’t speak too soon.”

“Oh god-”

“Five minutes!” The stage manager called, and Richie thought he’d feel that wave of nausea flood him again. But he didn’t.

He felt totally fine, even as he watched Eddie walk away to go find his seat, he felt ready. Ready to show the world who he really was, and to stick it to all of the people who ever doubted him. Ready to prove to himself that he could do it. That he’s Richie Trashmouth Tozier, and he’s talented. 

“Ladies and gentlemen! Please put your hands together for-'' The announcer roared, pulling even more noise from the crowd as the house lights dimmed, making the stage lights seem even brighter. He took a few deep breaths as his name was announced, straightening his blazer before taking the first step onto the stage.

He waved with a big smile as his legs carried him towards the microphone, his ears filled with whistles and clapping.

“Thank you, thank you!” He shouted into the mic with a big smile, taking the time that it took for the crowd to simmer down so that he could adjust the mic stand. “I’m really honored to be here tonight, I owe you guys. One of my first big gigs was at Laughs Comedy Club right here in Seattle.” There were a number of hoots from the audience at that.

“Listen, before we get this show on the road, I’d like to first start with an apology. I know this show is supposed to be funny and lighthearted, and it is for the most part, I promise we’ll get to that.” He cleared his throat and took a deep breath before looking out into the crowd. “I’m sorry. To all of the women out here tonight, and all of the LGBT community, I’m truly sorry. To anyone who ever had to hear me make sexist or homophobic jokes. I hear your criticisms, and I want you to know that I’m done spouting someone else’s hurtful jokes. Those words were not mine, but I chose to amplify them. And that was fucked. Don’t worry though; they’ll still be raunchy and stupid. But seriously, to the people I’ve hurt or disgusted or disappointed, I understand if you choose to no longer watch my shit. That’s on me. But for the people who still support me, and are willing to give me a second chance, a chance to be the _real_ me… I fucking love you guys. This is for you.” He had to step back from the mic, blown away from the immediate uproar of applause. More applause than he’d ever received while on stage let alone at the start of a show. 

He caught Eddie in the front row, next to his parents and friends, clapping and beaming at him with a smile that forced out his deep dimples. He winked at him quickly before stepping back towards the mic. “Now that that’s out of the way, I’m going to start this off with a little fun fact for you.” He took a swig of water before gesturing to the stage around him. Today is January 28th. Also known as Fun at Work Day.” Some awes and cooes sounded from the audience. “It’s also National Kazoo Day. I hand-selected this day because I am a master of obscure, and annoying, instruments. I wanted Gay Pride Day but Netflix didn’t want me to disgrace an actual holiday.” He smirked at the wave of laughter that flooded the audience. 

“So that’s today. The 20th was the day my buds got married, so congrats to Beverly Marsh and Ben Hanscom. Quite possibly the most attractive couple in the universe. But fuck them for making us survive the cold.” He pointed at the audience with a glare. “But listen, marriage can be a beautiful thing. Sure, 50% fail miserably, but who are we if we don’t give it a shot? I haven’t shot my shot yet, as the kids say, but I do think it’s a magical thing. It’s one of the things we live for right? I find myself asking that question a lot. It’s part of a human condition that many of us here might have.” He let go of the microphone stand to give enthusiastic jazz hands. “Existential anxiety.”

The audience gasped and laughed, several people shouting out how they could relate. “Right? What are we here for? Just to suffer? I have to wear clunky ass glasses to see two fucking feet in front of me, but a goddamn shrimp can see more colors than me? What the fuck is that?!”

He got through a good half of his set, feeling more loosened up as he went along. He didn’t feel like he was performing in front of a packed house and tons of cameras. It was like chatting with a friend. Sometimes we did look directly at his friends, and when he caught Eddie’s eyes especially, he took that feeling and ran with it.

“This next story is about sex, so parents at home, cover your innocent children’s ears.” He paused for a second as if to give the parents at home some time. “Like I said, this is about sex, but it isn’t very sexy. So we’re getting down to business right, and I thought it would be sexy to put on some mood lighting. Turns out it was very dark mood lighting because even with these babies on I couldn’t see shit.” He ticked his glasses and rubbed his eyes. “I thought it would be genius to tackle him in bed, and let's just say that blood is not kinky.”

He nodded at the laughter and gasps of sympathy from the audience. “Yeah, I totally almost killed him and knocked myself unconscious. I don’t think I’ve ever had such a bad bloody nose, surprised I didn’t break it.” He sighed, taking a quick sip of water before shrugging. “But hey, even then I got a blowjob so it was still a win.” He pumped his fist in the air, snickering at the embarrassed look on Eddie’s face, who was nonetheless, shaking with laughter. 

“The only reason he gave me permission to tell that story is because I needed more material to be funny.” He blew a kiss at him, grinning when he got one back. “Listen, my boyfriend is a bitch, and I like him so much. Growing up this kid couldn’t even look at seafood without ranting about parasites and such, but do you wanna hear what he brought home the other day?” He waited for the cheering and chatter to pass. “Get this, he shows up with this thing called a geoduck. If you’ve never heard of it, google it later, it’s a type of clam. BUT it looks like it has a gigantic penis growing out of it. I’m talking a whopping ten inches at least that put me to shame. I like dick, but even I couldn’t look at it for too long without gagging. He says to me ‘it’s healthy, and it’s fresh out of the ocean.’ And do you wanna know how you clean this thing?”

He giggled at the disgusted look on several people’s faces in the audience. “You have to soak it in water so that the skin becomes rubbery, and then you SKIN IT.” He shouted into the microphone. “That's after you slice it off like fucking Lorena Bobbitt. I’m having PTSD flashbacks talking about it. It looks like you’re literally skinning a dick. So ladies and my fellow gay men, if you ever want to threaten your man without saying anything, make him some geoduck. It fucking works, it’s probably better than any type of marriage counseling.”

Not surprisingly, Richie had a lot of jokes about Eddie. Living with the man was a gold mine for stories and jokes. He had a number of jokes about his family and friends too, but it was clear that the ones related to Eddie were the audience's favorite. Time had gone by so quickly as he went through his set, that by the time he wrapped up his final few jokes, his legs were numb from standing. He popped the microphone out of the stand, walking it with him. “This is sadly the end of the show folks, I know, I’m sad too. But I wanted to just say a few more things before you all leave.” He paced the stage back and forth, clearing his throat.

“I didn’t plan this next part. I’m not even sure if I’m allowed to do this, but Netflix can dm me later about it. I wanted to talk about how I got here, and why I’m here. When I was growing up, I went through shit that no thirteen year old should go through. Bullies, puberty, etcetera. We’ve all got those stories.”

He huffed into the mic, stopping his pacing so he could lean on the microphone stand. “My bully, you might know him, crazy psycho that attacked me and my friends nearly three decades later. Killed his dad when we were kids with a knife he carried everywhere with him and escaped the mental ward a few months ago. I see the look on all of your faces, but we don’t have enough time to get into that. Maybe I’ll write a book someday, or you can read the one that Bill Denbrough will probably write.” He pointed at him in the crowd and smiled. “So this bully, right, when I was about thirteen he saw me in the arcade with his little cousin. We were just playing some video games, nothing else, and he just lost it. They both turned on me, and called me slurs in front of a ton of kids we went to school with.”

He adjusted his glasses, sighing into the mic. “I remember thinking that my life was over, because this part of me that I had been trying so hard to keep secret was not as secret as I thought. It wasn’t just a phase, and I became aware that I was seen as different from everyone else. This was a small town in Maine in the 80s, so 'different' wasn’t exactly appreciated. I bet that asshole thought he’d silenced the Trashmouth, but little did he know, I went down to the local makeout spot the next day. It was called ‘The Kissing Bridge’, every town has some shitty spot like that right? One that contributed more to sex ed than any health class? Well anyway, I went there to where all of the couples would carve their names and initials into the wood.”

“So I stole my dad’s pocket knife, sorry Went, and carved an R for Richie, and an E for Eddie. For my best friend and the love of my life.” He bent down on one knee to mimic carving with one hand, turning his head over his shoulder. “The entire time I kept looking over my shoulder, paranoid that someone would drive past and kick my ass, but I didn’t stop until those letters were carved into the wood with a crooked plus sign in between them.”

He stood back up, dusting off his pants and downing the last bit of water in the bottle. “And even though I was still fell deep into the closet where fear kept me, I’m still so fucking proud of that kid. Because even though it was scary, he owned up to who he really was and the love that he had. That permanent fuck you is still carved on that bridge in that wack ass town, carved fresh a second time and a little deeper. Derry left a pretty big mark on me, but I’d be damned if I didn’t leave one back. So this one goes out to Derry, Maine.” He gripped the mic tightly in one hand while he held up a strong middle finger with the other. 

He almost had to cover his ears at how deafening the applause was. He was shell shocked, the lights even more blinding as before as claps and hollering filled the air around him, sucking out any breath he had left. He slid the microphone back into the stand, stepping back and waving out to the crowd. “Thank you Seattle! I fucking love you!”

He could’ve stood out there forever on stage, but he caught the sight of Steve waving him over from the wing, and he waved and blew a few more kisses as he walked off to meet them. “Holy shit Steve.” He panted, realizing that he’d been holding his breath. 

“You did it Rich.” He clasped his shoulder, smiling up at him. “I knew they’d love it, congratulations.”

“Thanks man-”

“Trashmouth!!” He was interrupted by Beverly walking quickly towards him with the rest of the Losers and Richie’s parents trailing a few steps behind. He smiled wide at her, preparing to speak when he caught sight of Eddie.

He was beaming at him, a giant bouquet of flowers in his arms. Richie passed Steve without another word, heading directly for him with the momentum of his entire body. “Richie-” Eddie was muffled quickly by Richie’s shoulder, nearly dropping the flowers on the floor. He held onto them tightly, pulling them out from between them and resting them on him as he hugged him back. Richie was squeezing him so tightly that he was afraid he’d crush him, clinging onto him like he was afraid to let go.

“I’m so so proud of you.” Eddie whispered into his ear, clutching back at him tightly. “Are you crying?”

“No.” Richie hiccuped into his neck, kissing the side of his face gently. 

“I’m letting them have a moment, but if I don’t get a hug this big I will throw a fit.” Maggie smiled at them, nudging her husband.

“Good luck.” Bill snorted, leaning his head onto Mike’s arm as they all let Richie have his moment. It took a few minutes at least, but slowly they parted, Richie taking the flowers and Eddie wiping the tears off of his face with his sleeve.

“Okay.” He sniffled, holding the flowers close to his chest as he turned back to the rest of his friends and family. “Did you guys play rock-paper-scissors for who’s next?”

After a long ordeal of tears, praise, and plenty of hugging, Steve led the group down the street to the bar they’ve rented out. It was a decent sized party, mostly crew members and Richie’s team. Some Netflix representatives were there to chat with Richie about the next steps of releasing the show on the platform, but that was the only business talk of the night. 

His body was finally at ease, packed in a booth with his people, showered in endless praise. His stomach, thankfully, had returned back to normal clearly. For the first time, Eddie was pleased to see him eat several baskets of fries and a burger. He deserved it after a few days of not eating well and constant stress. He deserved to relax a little bit and have a few drinks too.

Eddie also took advantage of the free drinks, a little too much.

“Hey.” He whispered into Richie’s ear after several glasses of gin and tonic. “You look so good.”

“Thank you baby.” He snickered, planting a kiss to his temple, an arm slung over his shoulder to squeeze him against him.

“I’m proud of you.”

“I know.” Richie hummed, feeling warm. Eddie had been saying it all night, but he started repeating it every other sentence after a couple of drinks. 

Eddie was not a drinker, not even a nervous drinker. If anything, he was drinking heavily in celebration. Regardless, he hated the taste of alcohol, and there weren’t many times when he would go out of his way to drink, CERTAINLY not to get drunk. But like Richie, he deserved to relax sometimes. Unfortunately, he had a very thin line between relaxed and extremely emboldened and riled up. 

And he was well passed that line. 

Richie shivered when he started mouthing at his neck, hands creeping dangerously high on his pants. Luckily they were hidden in a booth, sitting with Beverly and Mike while the rest of their group mingled at the bar. Even more luckily, Richie’s parents left nice and early to go to bed. It was late, and their flight to Bangor wasn’t until the afternoon the following day, but they weren’t exactly the type to hang around at a bar and get drunk.

Richie nudged Eddie off of him gently and soothed him with a kiss to the top of his head. When Eddie drank, Richie discovered, he became extremely touchy and possessive. If anyone so much as tried to take Richie’s attention away from him, he would make a very public display that Richie was _his._

“You okay Eds?” Beverly snorted, sipping from her glass. She watched in amusement as Richie tried not to squirm too much in his seat with Eddie’s hands all over him.

“Mhm.” He murmured, nuzzling into Richie’s shoulder.

“Maybe you both should get out of here.” Mike shook his head, hiding how red his face was getting with a large palm. “If I’m feeling buzzed he’s definitely feeling it.”

“It’s not his fault he’s small.” Richie laughed, smacking a hand away from his crotch.

“Fuck off Mike.” Eddie hissed, glaring at him.

“I didn’t say it! Richie did!”

“Awe, he doesn’t mean it Mikey. You’re not small Eds, just smaller.” Richie snickered, finally giving in and letting Eddie’s hands roam. “We might head out in a few.”

“Good idea.” Bev sighed, checking her phone for the time. “I think if you two stick around any longer you’ll be arrested for public indecency.” 

“You’re probably right about that, sweet cheeks.” It was a good idea, with Eddie getting increasingly more handsy and Richie’s resistance wearing thin. “Everything is pre paid for, so you both just keep drinking your little hearts out. Responsibly of course.”

“Can I steal a bottle of champagne if there’s leftover?”

“Anything for you Bevvy.” He blew her a kiss, trying to nudge Eddie out of the booth with him. “You too Mikey, you have permission to ransack the place.”

“Thanks Rich.” He chuckled. “You guys need any help getting back to the hotel?”

“It’s around the corner, I think we’ll make it.” He finally managed to get Eddie to scoot out of the booth, watching him nearly topple out of it and onto the floor. “I hope.”

“If you die or get arrested I will be very upset.” Beverly sighed, shaking her head at them both. “Drink lots of water Eddie!” Richie was able to steady him on his feet, amused at how tightly he gripped his arm. They made their way to the front door of the bar, saying a few goodbyes on their way. Steve stopped them at the door to run through some things with Richie, but Eddie was not having it. He made a point of glaring at him the entire time he spoke, reaching up to run the tips of his fingers through the curls of hair at the top of Richie’s neck. 

Richie did not absorb a single word, nodding alone while blunt nails scratched on his head, scratching lightly while he nuzzled carefully into his shoulder. “Mhm, cool.” He hummed, giving Steve a friendly pat on the shoulder before they made a swift exit.

Richie had to practically carry him back to their hotel, which he knew was only fair since Eddie had to drag him back to their hotel room in Hawaii. Regardless, Richie didn’t mind taking care of him, not ever. And he certainly didn’t mind the physical attention. 

“Sweetheart, let’s get to the room first.” He chuckled but made no attempt to stop him from mouthing at his neck.

“We’re the only ones in the elevator.” He argued into the tender skin, sucking and nipping to leave a few scattered love bites. Richie cradled the back of his head gently, playing with the soft hair around his fingers as he patiently waited for their floor to come up. Eddie, not so patiently.

They forced their way into the room, Eddie tugging desperately at Richie’s blazer to lead him to the bed. Richie placed the bouquet of flowers down onto the dresser, almost crushing them as Eddie pulled him forcefully. Once he got them there, he shoved it off of his shoulders, not caring where it landed on the floor. Richie gripped him tightly, helping him get out of his jacket and shirt, breathlessly letting Eddie tug on his belt. 

“You look so good in black Rich.” He murmured, sliding his hands up the front of Richie’s shirt. “God, you always look so good on stage. All those people looking at you.”

Richie gripped the back of his neck and crushed their mouths together, sloppy and uncoordinated. “But I’m only yours, baby. Right? I’m all for you.”

“Uh huh.” He nodded, flustered and lips glossy from spit. "You're mine."

They fell onto the bed together, peeling their clothes off as they licked into each other's mouths. They both still tasted like alcohol, rutting against each other to distract from the bitter taste. They weren’t speaking, but the entire time Eddie was praising him with his tongue, and Richie heard him loud and clear. Richie settled in between his legs, crushing him lightly with his weight, his broad shoulders covering Eddie completely. They were both in their boxer briefs, Richie still with his black t-shirt on since it apparently really did something for Eddie.

“Richie.” He sighed, lifting his hips to press up against him. Both of them grunted at the rough drag of the fabric between them. “You gonna fuck me?”

Richie’s mind was screaming a resounding _yes,_ but even in his inebriated state, he forced himself to shake his head slowly. “You’re drunk, my love.”

“So? You’re also drunk, it cancels out.”

Richie laughed, nosing along his jaw as he rubbed his bare side absentmindedly. “I’m nowhere near as blasted as you. And even if I was, I don’t think it works like that. You’re out of it and I- I don’t wanna do that to you.”

Richie waited for a drunk outburst, a sign of frustration, or worse, for him to feel rejected. But Eddie’s face wasn’t annoyed at all, not like Richie had expected. He was heaving underneath him, still hard as a rock. But he was also staring up at Richie like he hung the moon or something. “Can you at least kiss me?”

Richie could never deny him when he sounded so sweet. “Always.”

Eddie sighed into his mouth, still making small movements with his hips, and even Richie didn’t have the willpower to stop him. He was hard too, achingly so, and having Eddie easing his tongue in and out of his mouth while he grinded up into him was not helping. He gripped his hips tightly, pinning him back down to the bed.

Eddie gasped out, stuttering a little bit in his grip. “Sorry I just-” He hissed, wiggling underneath him. “It hurts.”

Richie loosened his grip, thinking that he was referring to his harsh grip on his hips. He didn’t want to leave bruises, not that Eddie minded. It wasn’t till Eddie raised his hips again, whimpering down at the tent in his pants. “Honey.”

“I know, you don’t have to.” He grunted, slapping Richie’s shoulder lightly so he’d ease off of him. “I just need to do _something._ ”

“Oh, okay.” He crawled back off of him, sitting back on his heels as he watched him like a hawk and he reached underneath the fabric and pulled himself out. “Jesus Eds.”

“Can you just watch me?” He asked, his voice hushed as he gripped himself, head tilting back slightly in relief. Richie couldn’t resist that request, so he nodded slowly, watching every move of his hand. His hand moved in slow but firm strokes, gliding the accumulated precome over his entire length. Richie watched in fascination, always intrigued by how wet he was able to get. His hand quickened once he was slick enough, raising his hips slightly to meet his fist and panting out short breaths of ecstasy. “Richie. Are you gonna touch yourself?”

Richie winced when his attention was suddenly brought back to how hard he was, and Eddie wasn’t lying when he said it hurt. “Maybe. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, I want you to.” He nodded. “I want you to get off while you watch me, and I wanna watch you too. You always look so beautiful. And I love you.”

Richie huffed out a laugh, swallowing thickly as he tugged his own boxers down to get his hand in. “How can you be so seducing yet cute at the same time? Not fair.”

“It’s the alcohol.”

“No no.” He shook his head before spitting into his hand to slick himself up, forgoing the lube buried in their bags. “You’re always cute. And it never takes you much to seduce me.”

Eddie smiled up at him, his eyes fluttering shut for a moment as he thumbed at his head. He bit down on his lip while he watched Richie jerk himself in earnest, still settled back onto his feet, trying his best not to take his eyes off of Eddie. Every now and again they’d make heated eye contact, silently panting as they rocked into their own hands, the only other sound being the obscene squelching of their wet stroking. 

They were never so quiet, especially when they were around each other. Even during sex they would tease and dirty talk each other, sometimes even laughing. Neither of them has ever laughed so much let alone been vocal while being intimate, but it was part of their new routine.

But this was different. Granted, they weren’t sober, but somehow they had more of a filter on as they got off. Eddie was the first to finish, sucking in deep breaths as he released over his fist, still rocking up to chase the tight circle of his hand. Richie wasn’t far behind, grunting as he spilled over his hand and a smidge onto Eddie's thigh where he was rubbing slightly with his free hand, unable to keep his hands off of him completely. “Fuck.” He huffed, giving himself another few strokes before he let go so he didn’t give himself any more harsh friction. It was a little grating without lube, but he made it work.

Eddie on the other hand looked completely content, sprawled out in the sheets with his dirtied hand resting on his abdomen and a light sheen of sweat coating his skin. “I love you.”

Richie’s heart ached at the gentleness of his tone. “I love you too. You feel okay?”

“I feel much better now.” He hummed, not even bothered by the mess on him. “I’m still drunk though.”

“I figured.” He laughed, dipping down to kiss him lightly. “Shower?”

“Yeah. Hope we didn’t get anything on the bed.”

“Well someone was a little too handsy for our sex blanket. And lube.”

“Don’t call it a sex blanket.”

“What would you like me to call it?” He smirked, petting at the hair sticking up on his head. He was silent for a moment, eyes closed, so Richie placed a kiss on his nose to get his attention back. “Eds?”

“Sorry, I blanked out for a second. What were we even talking about?”

“Nothing important, let’s just get you in a shower, my little lightweight.”

“You’re lucky I’m too wasted to kick your ass.”

The shower seemed to sober Eddie up a little bit, and he was much less cloudy than before. He was still exhausted, but he drank a glass of water before laying down, cuddling up next to Richie as close as he could. They tangled together a little more than usual, but neither of them complained about it. Richie was about to drift off when Eddie kissed his forehead, breathing warmly in his ear. “So proud of you for today.”

“I know.” He whispered back, placing a kiss in his damp hair, squeezing him against him tightly. “I love you baby, sweet dreams.” Eddie muffled out what sounded like a “you too” before he turned in Richie’s arms so he could settle snugly in his arms. 

When Richie felt him moving around, he assumed that it was morning already and that Eddie was getting up to start packing nice and early like he normally did. They were set to head home like everyone else, his parents bright and early while the rest of the Losers had afternoon flights. Richie and Eddie weren’t in a rush, but they had planned to leave after everyone else to get back onto the road. 

He blinked his eyes open when Eddie finally pried himself from his grip, confused as to why it was still dark outside, only a tad bit lighter than when he’d fallen asleep. He rubbed his eye groggily, stretching his arms out till he heard a satisfying crack of several joints. He figured that Eddie was just up to use the bathroom, but real concern set it when he heard retching sounds emitting from behind the door. He flung the covers off of him and opened it just in time to see Eddie violently puke into the bowl. “Fuck, you okay?!”

Eddie opened his mouth, only to gag again, more emptying into the bowl. Richie took a deep breath, trying not to let it get to him too much so he could help. He knelt beside him, rubbing his back gingerly. His skin was burning hot to the touch and the back of his neck was damp with sweat. He lurched one more time, clutching the porcelain like his life depended on it. “It’s alright, get it all out and you’ll feel better.” He continued rubbing his back as Eddie spit whatever was left in his mouth into the bowl. “Here, rinse out and I’ll grab you a drink and some clothes. You should shower.”

Eddie shook his head, looking like he’d rather die than move from the floor. 

“Sweetheart, you’re probably really hungover. Take it from me, I’m an expert at getting fucked up. You’ll feel much better after a shower.” It took some coaxing to finally get him off the floor and to take a reluctant shower. He was able to keep the water down that Richie had given him, but as soon as he got into a fresh set of clothes he was bent over the toilet again getting rid of it. Richie sat next to him, feeling absolutely terrible that he was sick, and slightly guilty that they’d reserved the bar in the first place. It got to the point where he had nothing else to throw up, so he sat on the cool tiles, shaking as he occasionally dry heaved, sweating through his fresh shirt. It didn’t help that a gnarly headache had also decided to kick in.

“Okay, I need you to wait here, I told Bill what’s going on so he’ll drop by to see how you’re doing. I’m going to run across the street to grab some Gatorade and medicine okay?”

“M’gonna throw it up.” He winced shakily, curled up in a ball on the floor in the doorway of the bathroom. “I feel like my body is shutting down.”

“Hey, don’t say that. You’re gonna be okay, I’ll be back quick. Promise.” He bent down to kiss his flushed forehead, wiping the sweat from his lips. “Bill is right around the corner. You’ve got your phone?” He waited for Eddie to nod slowly before he hurried to the door, determined to make the trip to the store as fast as possible. 

He clicked the door shut and hung the do not disturb sign so that no one, except for Bill, would bother him. He tapped his foot impatiently as he waited for the elevator, cursing under his breath at how long it took just to get to the lobby of the hotel. Before he could make a mad dash out the front doors, he heard his name being called.

“Richard!” His father was waving at him from the check out desk where he was standing with Maggie, both of them wearing confused looks on their faces. He debated pretending not to hear them in favor of saving time on his mission to the store, but he quickly realized that would be a really douchey thing to do. So he jogged over to them, accepting a hug and kiss on the cheek from his mother. 

“You guys leaving?”

“We booked an early flight.” Wentworth nodded, checking his watch. “What are you doing up so early?”

“Eddie doesn’t feel well, I was going to grab him some stuff from the store. Or gas station, whichever is closer.”

“Poor Eddie.” Maggie frowned. “Do you need us to stay? We have a little time to spare but worst case-”

“No, no. Mom, it’s fine. Bill is keeping an eye on him for now, apparently Mike wasn’t feeling well either. It might’ve been the food mixed with all the alcohol they drank.” He sighed, tapping his foot again. “I just need to grab some Gatorade and medicine or something. We probably will stay here another day or two until he’s fit to make the drive.”

“Well then, here.” Went dug around the small pocket of his suitcase and pulled out a couple of pill bottles. “Take these, Advil for the headache. Tums for the stomach. And here.” He pulled his wallet from his pocket and slid out a few bills. “There was Gatorade in the vending machine on our floor.”

“Dad.”

“Please don’t turn this into a thing, take it for Eddie.”

“Okay.” He cupped his hands to grab everything, feeling a little more relieved that he didn’t have to go searching for everything. “Thank you.”

“We have to go soon, please keep us updated.” He nodded, pulling his son in for a hug. “We love you both, hope he feels better soon.”

“And you're feeling alright?” His mother asked.

“Yeah.” He nodded. His stomach did feel a little uneasy, but he wasn’t sure if it was the food or from feeling worried about Eddie.

“Don’t worry yourself, he’ll be okay.” She smiled, kissing him on his other cheek. “Call us if you need anything. We’ll call to check in when we land. Love you sweetie.”

“Love you too. Have a safe flight.”

Richie was a little more patient when he got back into the elevator, making a quick detour to his parents’ floor to buy two bottles of Gatorade from the vending machine just in case there was none on his floor. When he unlocked the door the room was pitch black and the shades were pulled. He stepped into the darkness, figuring that Eddie had found his way into bed, which was somewhat relieving that he wasn’t still on the bathroom floor. 

As he got closer to the bed, he could barely see him underneath the blanket. Not sure if he was awake, he gently rubbed his shoulder. “Eds, I’m back.”

“That was fast.” It came muffled underneath the comforter, and he peeked his head out just enough so that his eyes and nose were visible. Richie had to squint to see him, but he was still able to make out how pale he was. 

“I ran into my parents, they had some stuff and I was able to grab Gatorade from the vending machine.” He dug through his pockets for the pills. “How are you feeling?”

“One minute I’m sweating like a pig and the next I think I’m going to freeze to death.”

“Headache still?”

“It comes and goes. I’m trying to just rest.”

“Rest all you need, sweets.” He smiled, shaking out two Advils and cracking open one of the Gatorades. “Here, sit up a little bit.”

When he did, he saw that Eddie was wearing one of his shirts instead of one of his. _So fucking cute._ “I’m sorry.”

  
“Why are you sorry?”

Eddie took a moment to pop the pills in his mouth, taking small sips of the Gatorade to ensure that it didn’t come back up. “We’re gonna be delayed now. I shouldn’t have let things get that out of control last night.”

“Hey, stop.” He took the bottle from him and set it on the nightstand. “We’re going to take as much time as you need, don’t worry about it. Maybe we can explore Seattle a little more when you feel better. You know you deserve to let loose sometimes right?”

“I’m in my forties, I shouldn’t be letting loose by getting drunk off my ass.”

“Did you ever get that drunk in college? That’s what I thought, consider this crossing something off of your bucket list.”

Eddie stifled a laugh, burying himself underneath the blanket again. “That’s a nice way to look at it. Lay down with me?”

“Of course.” He nodded, toeing out of his shoes and tossing his jacket off to the side so that he could climb back into bed. “If you need to throw up again, wake me.”

“I’m sure the sounds of my agony would wake you up regardless.”

“I’m trying to be nice to you, dick.” He snorted, kissing the back of his neck while his arms snaked around his waist. “Try to get some rest, save your energy.”

Eddie melted into his grip, letting his eyes flutter shut so that he could hone in on Richie’s breath hitting the back of his neck. If he wasn’t so sick, he might’ve gotten turned on. But even though he did feel like hell, it felt nice to have someone caring for him. Not like his mother and Myra cared for him. Richie was never like that, and Eddie was able to relish in it. 

The day consisted of laying in bed, and a few false alarms in the bathroom, but thankfully he didn’t throw up again. Richie left once to buy a few light snacks to get his sugar back up, and Bill brought him soup and crackers when he and Mike got back from lunch. 

Mike recovered quickly from his own upset stomach, and Ben and Beverly felt good enough to explore the space needle and Chihuly Garden and Glass museum. They were insistent on delaying their flight to stay with Richie and Eddie, wanting to wait so that they could explore together. But Eddie was adamant that no one change their plans for him, practically begging them to go without them. So they did, reluctantly, but they promised to make plans when they all returned to LA.

They couldn’t wait, all four of them itching to be a few minutes within living distance from each other. Bill and Mike were still debating on whether or not they would make the move to California, but with Ben and Beverly moving it was even more enticing. Regardless, they left shortly after they did to fly back to Florida. Richie and Eddie decided to stay the day after everyone left to give Eddie some more time to recover. 

He felt better after a long night's rest, much better. But he was still a little hindered by a light headache and uneasy stomach. Luckily some fresh air did him well while they traced where Ben and Beverly toured before they left. “We’re five-hundred and twenty feet off of the ground right now babe. How’s the altitude on your head?”

“Five-hundred isn’t that high.” He snorted, scowling when Richie would peek a little too far over the railing for his liking. “Pretty sure you have to be like several thousands of feet above sea level to feel the effects.”

“That didn’t really answer my question, but thank you for the lecture on altitude sickness Professor Kaspbrak.” He smirked, purposefully leaning on the railing to tick him off. Realistically there was no way he could fall over, but it was still nerve-wracking. “How are you feeling?”

Eddie breathed deeply. “The fresh air feels nice.”

“Good.” He hummed, pulling him towards him to kiss his forehead. “You look pretty much back to normal. Except for when you were about to shit your pants ten minutes ago.”

“The floor is fucking glass down there!” He groaned. “Sorry that it’s revolving five-hundred feet off of the ground!”

_“Five-hundred isn’t that high.”_ Richie mimicked, chuckling. “We are in the open now! Much easier to fall.”

“Great.” He huffed. “You know what, no need. If we get tailed by paparazzi like we did at the glass museum I’ll jump off of this thing myself.”

“What, you don’t like the headline they’ll probably use? _‘Richie Tozier and Hot Boyfriend Argue Loudly in a Garden of Glass.’_ It has a really nice ring to it. Super romantic.”

“I’ll be giving them a really nice follow up with _‘Comedian Richie Tozier Drives Boyfriend to Jump from the Space Needle.’_ Now that would be really juicy.”

“No don’t jump, you’re too sexy.”

“Shut up.” He sighed, kissing the side of his cheek quickly before stepping away from the railing for good. “Ready to get going?”

“You don’t want to visit anything else? Art museum? Oooo, Wine Country?”

“If I even think about drinking right now I’ll pass out.”

“No don’t pass out, you’re too sexy.”

“For fuck’s sake Rich-” He set his jaw at the smirk spreading across Richie’s face. “You’re unbearable. Am I driving first or are you?”

They agreed that Eddie would drive first so that Richie could take them through the night while he rested. It was nice to actually be able to enjoy the drive without one of them having to stop to throw up on the side of the road. The trip felt quicker the second time around, and they made it back to Los Angeles in just under two days, not stopping for anything other than gas and the occasional bathroom break. 

“Can we just lay down?” Richie groaned, stretching his legs out and kicking the car door shut.

“As soon as we get our shit inside and shower I promise that we’ll cuddle on the couch or something. I've got a whole other day before I have to go back to work.”

“It doesn’t seem fair that I have to carry both suitcases and you get to carry a backpack and a souvenir.”

“It’s a _glass_ souvenir.” He corrected, cradling it in his hand carefully so he could unlock the front door. “And I offered for you to take it but you didn’t want to.”

“I didn’t want to feel your wrath if I dropped it.”

“Damn right.” He laughed, holding the door open with his foot so Richie could come in. “If you stop your yapping maybe we can shower together.”

“You’re the yappy one, my little chihuahua.” He blew a kiss at him, sliding their luggage into the hallway. Before Eddie could even yell at him Richie’s phone began to rang in his pocket. “Yellow, Steve?” Eddie watched his face go through several different emotions at once. “Woah, slow down man. We did what?”

“Richie?” He asked, an eyebrow raised while he carefully set the glass down on one of the shelves. 

“Holy fuck dude.” He ran a hand through his hair, clutching the phone as he continued to process several emotions at once apparently. “They just announced this? It _just_ fucking came out on Netflix!”

Eddie flailed his arms at him, pouting when Richie held up a finger quickly. “Yeah. Yes, I’ll check it now. I have to go. Yes he’s feeling better, I’ll tell him you said hi. Yup, alright. Bye-bye.” He ended the call quickly and snapped his head back up to Eddie. “Steve says hi.”  
  


“Hi?? Are you going to tell me what’s happening?” He gestured to him. “I can’t tell if you’re happy or if you’re going to pass out.”

“Both maybe.” He huffed, turning his attention back to his phone so he could read off of it. “Academy Awards nominees, William Denbrough for Best Original Screenplay. And his movie is up for best costume design too.”

“Oh my God, we have to congratulate him!”

“We will, but wait. There’s more.” He handed the phone over so Eddie could read. 

“Richie Tozier for Outstanding Guest Actor in a Comedy Series, Saturday Night Live. Richie Tozier for Outstanding Guest in a Variety Talk Show, Late Night with Stephen Colbert. Holy shit.”

“Keep going.”

“Richie Tozier for Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Special. Trashmouth Unleashed for Best Original Production. Richie, baby, what the fuck.”

“Don’t call me pet names right now, I’m highly sensitive.” He coughed out a wet laugh, biting his lip to keep it together.

“You deserve this, you know that right?” Eddie handed him his phone, grabbing his arms with a wide grin on his face. “Right? You deserve all of this, you do.”

“Stoooop.”

“Noooo.” He chuckled, taking his hands in his to stop him from shielding his face. “I know I say it every five seconds, but I really am proud of you.”  
  


“Well I don’t know about every five seconds-”

“Asshole.” He laughed, tossing both arms around his neck to drag him down for a firm kiss. “Hey, you’re gonna win awards.”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” He kissed him again, hard. “Will you be my date?”

“Maybe.” He teased. “When even is it?”

“February? I think right before Bev’s birthday.”

Eddie hummed before kissing him again, because how could he not. He was overwhelmed with pride for him and struggled to show it in any other way than kissing him and telling him just how proud he was. 

“You’ll be trending on Twitter soon.”

“Maybe.” 

“Don’t be so modest. You know you’re hot shit.” Eddie swatted at his shoulder. “Hey, we should watch your special.”

“Like, on Netflix?” He raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t get enough of it the first time?”

“I was laughing so hard at some parts that I think I may have missed a punch line or two.”

“Please don’t make me cry, I’m exhausted.” He snorted. “But at least I know how much you appreciate my jokes.”

“How about we watch it again so I can show you just how much I appreciate you?” He proposed suggestively. He kissed his nose lightly just to be an extra tease, which Richie never minded.

“Suddenly I am no longer exhausted.” He purred, biting at the side of Eddie’s neck playfully, both of them giggling like little kids, still standing in the hallway near the front door. “I couldn’t have done this without you.” He murmured into his ear, hugging him tightly.

“Sure you could have. Celebratory shower?” He asked smugly before Richie could argue.

“Damn, tonight just keeps getting better.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! I just want to say sorry for not posting as regularly as I used to, I've been very busy with this semester of University ending, but most of my free time has been going to this fic. I have until 30 chapters planned before I think I'll stop (unless people stop reading)
> 
> Also, HUGE shoutout to @ doodles_angie on Twitter (@ doodleswithangie on insta) since I based Richie's speech on one of her artworks, she is fantastic so check her out!
> 
> Anyways, kudos and comments are appreciated as always! If you'd like, follow me on Twitter @ notreddie4this since I post updates and other random IT related things <3
> 
> Edit: I want to wish John Mulaney a successful time in rehab, I'm so proud of him and I'm rooting for him hard (: Please be kind to people suffering from addiction, and support them in any way that you can!

**Author's Note:**

> (This fic is now on Wattpad too! @ MarvelSPNPhandom)
> 
> Read on!


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